I'm so sad!

[Jennyjn]

Ok first thing is I breastfed my ds for a year.  Had lots of support from co-workers and family!  Then my dd came along,  it started great.  But then I went back to work and I couldn't for he life of me get my supply to stay up.  I didn't get much support from the people at work.  So in the end I had to supplement while at work.  Well as of now (almost 11mos)dd has no interest in breastfeeding.  It was hard for me to except.  But she still bf once a day.   
Well here's what set me off today.  I'm at work and my coworker just had a baby last Thurs.  She stopped in to work today(for me too early to be out with a newborn but oh well)  And she tells me she has given up on breastfeeding.  We talked about some things and she is still going to stop. Ok her decision,  well we were in with one of the offices with 2 other coworkers and the grandma. They were talking about how horrible it is that people think your a terrible mom if you don't bf.  And how they felt is was uncomfortable and they didn't and their kids are just fine.  I felt terrible because here I am someone who breast feed both of my kids.  I felt like an outsider!  I just made the comment that there are so many benifits for mom and baby, but understand if it doesn't sometimes work out but you should give it a good chance.  They all just stood there and looked at me like I was crazy!
I feel that it was best for me and my children.  There are other views and I respect that.  Everyone has their own choice  but don't disrespect someone for what they have choosen!  I feel they didn't do that for me.  I was nice, helpful and respectful to my friend and her choice. I told her I would be there for her which ever way she chose.  But I still feel hurt by those comments. 
Ok just had to get that out!  I feel better!  Thanks for listening!

[annamum]

Hi,

I can relate to your story. Unfortunately, the bottlefeeding is still considered the norm and breastfeeding is frowned upon. Although, breastfeeding is making its comeback, I think it will be maybe  next generation to fully appreciate its benefits and simplicity. I really hope that when my daughter has her own babies, our culture and society will give her more support and encouragement to nurse, or should I say, breastfeeding will be the norm. As you see, I am quite passionate about it, too.

For my own sake, I don't even try to talk to people that I am still nursing an 18 month old, of course, if somebody asks me a direct question I will tell the truth, but nobody assumes that Anna is still breastfeeding. Unless, I am talking to my friend who nurses her 2 year old son  :lol: .

I think that it depends also where you live, let somebody correct me if I am wrong, but I have heard that some parts of London, UK, are bottle only and some breast only :lol: .

[amheusser]

I think a lot of women get defensive over this, mostly on the bottle-feeding side.  They hear all the time about how breastmilk is so important, but for whatever reason they didn't do it, so they're afraid they did something wrong that they can't undo, and the guilt comes out as insulting to those who made the other choice.  Just a theory....

[Erin M]

I think breastfeeding is so much HARDER in the beginning than bottle feeding and people give it up (not that I blame them, I considered throwing in the towel many times in the early days).  I have noticed though that the more "progressive" the place you live, the more it's assumed you're going to breastfeed.  Where I am in New Jersey, people seem to assume that you're going to breastfeed (although not for an extended period of time).... and I think in 10 - 15 years breastfeeding will certainly be the norm.  Just my two cents.
-Erin

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

That's why I love going to the baby club I visit with Megan every Tuesday.  It's through the CLSC (local community health services) and although anyone can go, they promote and support breastfeeding.  So all the friends I've made since she was born I met there and they're all really happy breastfeeding their kids. There are a couple who had to give it up for various reasons and bring the bottles, but no one bats an eye either way.  It basically ends up as a room full of mothers sitting on chairs or mats (where the kids play) with lots of exposed breasts!  (The dh's who usually only come the first week or so to have the newborns weighed by the nurses often look quite uncomfortable.... :lol: ).

I know I try not to make people feel uncomfortable if they're not able to or chose not to breastfeed their children, but it's always funny to see the reverse.  When people ask me when I plan to wean and I basically say no time soon, they look really awkward as if they don't know quite how to respond.  With a lot of them, you can tell they think it's weird to breastfeed a baby older than 1year (definitely!), but OLDER??? What must I be thinking??  :lol:

[jennc123]

I think a lot of women get defensive over this, mostly on the bottle-feeding side.  They hear all the time about how breastmilk is so important, but for whatever reason they didn't do it, so they're afraid they did something wrong that they can't undo, and the guilt comes out as insulting to those who made the other choice.  Just a theory....

I agree with this wholeheartedly, i have found this statement so true!  I think it sums it up.

[Jennyjn]

Thanks for all the posts.  I feel much better.  When I had such a hard time with my ds, I remember crying on the way to the lacation saying I don't want to stop breastfeeding and all worked out. I have felt guilty for not being able to continue with my dd.  But this is me and I don't put my feelings off on others because this is my path I am/have to take.
My one friend bottlefed both of her kids,  I never put her down it was what she chose and I respect that!

it goes back to be respectful of others and their choice