Hi,
We did our transition 12 days ago so will share our experience & thoughts while it’s still fresh.
My dd has been sleeping on a sofa bed (fold out mattress on the floor) for about 4 months and we had to lie with her until she fell asleep (takes between 30-60mins) & creep out of the room in the dark!!! We tried to gradually move away from the bed, and instead of lying, we would sit beside her, but it all made it worst. She knew that we were trying to "leave" her so would cling onto us when she was sleeping, and we could see that her grip got tight every time we moved an inch.
We decided that enough was enough plus a baby on the way as well, so we went out and bought her a "big girl's bed". We made a big deal about it, went shopping for the bed and bedding so she was every excited.
We told her that the sofa bed was broken and that the new bed is a special bed for big girls only, also it was too small for us to lie in it. We also started a new routine: clean teeth, bedtime stories, let her choose a favorite toy to sleep with, cuddle, kiss & hugs, turn off lights & leave the room straight away.
A few things I've done that seems to work for us:
1. Before I start the last story, I tell her what is going to happen after the story is finished: cuddle & kiss, sleep on her own while I will go downstairs and that she's a big girl now so there is no need to cry because I’m right downstairs.
2. While we are cuddling, I would again tell her that she is a big girl now & big girls sleep by themselves, how proud I am of her, and that her favorite toy will look after her while she sleeps.
3. The next morning, when I wake her, I would say how proud I am of her for sleeping on her own and also, in front of her, make a big deal of telling people we knew.
4. While I'm reading or if I see anything relevant during the day, I would point out pictures of kids with their own beds & reinforce how she is a big girl just like them with their own beds.
It sound tedious but its better than having to regress to those horrible nights again.
Did it go smoothly from day 1? No, it was rough for a week and I started to think that its too traumatic for her.
She would cling on to me for dear life (knowing what's going to happen next) and cried while I separate myself from her, turn off the light & leave the room. However the crying only continued for less than a minute and she's all quiet.
She was waking up very early; it used to be between 6.30-7am, now she starts to stir between 5-5.30am and is wide awake by 5.45am.
Did it get better? Yes!!!
The last five days has been great, doesn’t cling on to me too much, and there is minimal or no crying when I leave the room. She is also sleeping better: not a sound until 6-6.30am.
Now she tells me that I should be very proud of her for sleeping on her own. At night she tells me that I'm going to be downstairs while she sleeps. :-)
Why did it work? I think it was because I was extremely consistent & strongly believed that any slight regression to old habits or new bad habits would come back to haunt me when the baby arrives, and I would not be able to physically or mentally deal with it.
The screaming is proabably because of the transition, but hang in there & don't regress back into the crib. It might be a separation or security issue, so give lot of cuddles & reassurance and he's safe & looked after. Try the WI/WO method, don't start any new habits you aren't prepared to continue. Work on it now while you physically can.
Good luck & keep us posted.
