Sooooo confused and depressed!

[opp2]

I didn't read all of the posts, so I'll ask, but if you've already tried it, disregard.

Anyway, when my boy was having trouble getting past 40 minute naps here is what I did...a minor version of wake to sleep...at 30 minutes I went in and watched him to see why he was waking up at 40 minute. There was a definite jerk at 40 minutes and he'd wake. I then decided to put a hand on him to calm him at that point. I did it for 3 or 4 days and it really worked. Now he still has 40 minute naps often, but he sleeps 1-1.5 hours for the most part. He is still getting up 2-3 times a night, wants to play sometimes too...I nurse him back to sleep. Sometimes he still plays for an hour....rrrrrrr...

I tried going in at 30 minutes and rousing him-not waking-just rousing-but that didn't work. He never really came out of it. If it helps you to know you are not alone, we are still only getting 3-4 hour stretches through the night, and he eats every three hours. I can't get him to go four hours without a feed. He is 21 weeks tomorrow.

All the best to you.

[oscar10405]

Thanks for that 'opp2'.....It does feel like you are alone sometimes!  I have done what you suggested, as soon as he does that little jerk, I've placed my hand on him and it sort of 'delayed' the wake up but he ended up waking up anyway!!  I still try it now and then but when he wants to wake, he'll wake.  I wouldn't mind some 40 minute sleeps, like you say, as long as a few are also 1.5 hours or more.  It's hard to know when to persist with re-settling him after a 40 min kip or when to accept he's had enough.  I have a feeling (also from reading Tracy's book) that I should try for a longer afternoon nap (I'm pretty sure he's Spirited/Touchy) and let the rest be short.  It's VERY hard to read his tired signs, he's happy to be up and looks excited all the time, overtired or not!

I was saying to my husband, the nights would be bearable if I could rest during the day but his short naps are very tiring, because they are short, but also because it takes sooooo long and so many tears to even get them!

I know other people are in the same boat, but I get so envious at those that aren't and have lovely sleeping babies, not that I would swap him.....(I'm not making sense now so I'll sign off......!)

[Onewoman]

Loved your photos    Oscar is such a cutie, and the picture of you and your lo, Cheryl, is lovely 

It sounds like things are getting better for you Jane! A few long naps and sleeping for more than 40 minutes at a time at night - well done!

Spirited/touchy types are a challenge aren't they!! Ruby is the same. Developmentally she just doesn't stop, she is so bright and such a quick learner. She has been rolling over for 4 weeks and now is trying sooo hard to crawl, she ends up doing a kind of commando crawl along the floor  :lol: She is also trying constantly to sit up, and doing these kind of stomach crunches - she will have a six pack soon! :lol: Just think what wonderful adults they will be (we just need the patience and strength to get them there  :shock: )

One thing I've found that really helps, is just to keep her as calm as possible - especially when she has had a short nap. Bob whooped her up yesterday afternoon (they both had a great time  ) and it took ages to settle her down for bed last night. I have noticed even having the tv on too much overstimulates her. It's hard to keep a balance of activity/quiet time.

Have you tried one drop of lavender or chamomille oil in the bath at night and/or baby massage, I think it helps a little.

Susana xxx

[oscar10405]

Thanks Susana - we think he's divine looking!

Hey - Ruby is younger than Oscar and she's rolling over?  Wow!  He's only just starting to do that!  I know what you mean re the stomach crunches - I thought he was trying to do a poo at first! 

Yep - Oscar gets really, really excited and is even harder to put down after a good giggle session.  Pretty much everything excites him though, bath time exciting, books excite him, just looking at him excites him and brings on smiles and giggles.  I hate to say it, but booby works best.

We are still going to the sleep centre in September, if nothing else, maybe they can help me read his tired signs better.  It will be nice (i think  :? ) to be with other Mums who are finding it all a bit tough!

[chell]

oh pig, just lost my message!!! Lets try again!!!!

[chell]

Hi Jane trying to remember what I just typed! I've got 5mins!
The reason I asked about CIO is that often bubs who have been exposed to this method even once or twice can associate their cot with fear. So just wanted to check whether this was getting in the way of any progress, but you say not.

I'd really recommend Tracys last book, once you've had chance to read the first! There is lots in it about pu/pd in detail. Also about the reasons it might not work. Think there is a sticky on this somewhere on one of the sleep boards. Tracy also says that they can regress on day 5 and I think that this is what may have happened with Oscar. Touchies, spirited and grumpies can take longer to sort .

[chell]

And Jane - the fact that it only took you 20mins of pu/pd is brilliant - I remember you saying it took 1.5 hours a while back... Don't you think this is progress? Becauses I do

Cherylxx

[newhampshiremummy]

oh, man. this is the hardest time. I can feel your pain.
I saw that there are some videos to accompany Tracey's books on the BW website- I haven't seen them, but maybe they would help show you what to do since reading and comprehending is so hard to do when you are sleep deprived.
Maybe somone else has seen them and would know if they would be helpful?
Take care!

[newhampshiremummy]

oh, man. this is the hardest time. I can feel your pain.
I saw that there are some videos to accompany Tracey's books on the BW website- I haven't seen them, but maybe they would help show you what to do since reading and comprehending is so hard to do when you are sleep deprived.
Maybe somone else has seen them and would know if they would be helpful?
Take care!

[oscar10405]

Thanks Cheryl - I hope he doesn't have fear of the cot?!  We've never let him cry alone? 

I know 20 minutes is an improvement, but I guess it feels like there's something wrong about having to have such a fight every time.  And there are sometimes still where it takes an hour.  I know we've made some progress, just not what I would have liked and I still dread sleep time and am not getting enough sleep myself but we are very grateful not to have to hold him in our arms for sleeps!

This morning, he woke up at 4am again, but I was able to calm him in his cot, but he woke up at 5.30 and I thought 'no, I'm not getting up this early!' so I calmed him in his cot but it took 30 mins and wasn't working so at 6am, I got him up, fed him in my bed and he we fell asleep until 8.15am!  We are all over the place huh?!

I thought I had bought her latest book?  It was re-printed in January?  But I'm sure now......?

[oscar10405]

Thanks Valerie - I am definitely a VISUAL person!!  A video might be handy, but at this stage I've spent enough $$ on things so it might have to wait.

[chell]

Hi,  pu/pd is hard work! its not easy & its not unusual to do it 100 times or more. But it does need consistency. I do think you have made a lot of progress - Imean you managed to calm him in his cot!? that is great!

The last book has a cream cover and whole chapter on pu/pd. printed 2005.

Cheryl

[oscar10405]

Okay, just put Oscar down for his 3rd nap today (it's 3.20pm here), he's had two naps so far, both only 35 mins each!  Problem is, he woke up smiling from both and I find it nearly impossible to get him back to sleep when he's wide awake and not grizzly.  Anyway....will try for a longer nap this time.

Re the book - bit confused here.....what exactly is Tracy's 'last' book.  The book I have now, The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems, says it was published in 2005, but the cover doesn't look like the one on the homepage of this website?  It has a little boy baby on the front with denim overalls and a denim cap.   :?

Also - I'm starting to struggle with Oscar's wind-down.  Can anyone share with me their wind-down for a Spirited baby.  He really is very, very hard to get calm.  My current method, putting on the soft music and sort of slow dancing with him against my chest, really takes a very long time, 20 mins or so and is physically, very tiring, and not always very effective and it's almost what we were doing in the first place, the only difference is we put him in the cot when he's sleepy, instead of keeping him in our arms.  I suspect there's not much else I can do as just lying down with him excites him (even looking at him makes him smile and get excited) but if anyone has a 'secret' - I'd love to hear it.

xx

[oscar10405]

He just woke up after 20 mins.  Took me 30 to get him to sleep again.  I really feel he's going backwards again. 

I'm really beginning to feel like I'll just have to live with it - whatever the reason is he won't sleep, I don't think I can fix it.  I know that's very negative but there must be some babies out there who didn't respond to these methods.  Maybe he is hyperactive after all. 

Sorry ladies....I think it's time to end this post as I'm just wasting peoples time now..... :oops:

[chell]

oh, Jane, you're not wasting my time. Yes you have the right book. Have you been able to read the chapter on pu/pd? I think because you've always slept with him the problem is a bit ingrained. If he is awake and happy and not tired that its ok to leave him be.

Well it sounds as though you may have made your mind up. Its just really difficult not being face to face. Wish I could help more.

Cherylxx