Sleep and EASY Support for spirited babies

[*Ali*]

Fab

[Cogray]

Hi. I have come to you all on this thread because after much reading, I believe this is the right place.  My LO who is 7 months is very much a spirited baby as evident from even his first month of life.  Although he has reflux, he is not medicated because we were advised that it was not necessary.  After 7 months, he is still spitting up mildly (I gave up dairy and soy and he is exclusively bf) but he does not appear to be in pain as he is laughing sometimes when he does so.  For the first month, LO cried all the time and was only comforted by the sound of a real blow dryer (vs applications on my phone).  The crying diminished and by 6 months, he was crying much less and really only expressed true displeasure when bored or frustrated- especially in the car.

So.  This is the issue.  Due to heavy crying, he was held to sleep in first months often.  I always tried to put him down partially awake and he would flash his eyes open when PD but still fall back to sleep. By 4 months, I was implementing shh pat for short naps somewhat successfully but it was not consistent; it would sometimes work and sometimes not.  Tried holding through the jolts. Worked but he did not learn to sleep through on his own.  Tried PUPD but only made him angry.  He is still taking short naps for the most part and most recently is challenging the initial PD in his crib.  What a nightmare.  So finally after a sometimes "battle" to put him to sleep, he is awake as soon as you put him down.  He is causing me to wait and hold him well into his sleep cycle now in order to put him down.  I tried a few times before, patting, shhing, comforting while in the crib but rarely does it put him to sleep.  Currently, I believe we are in an OT cycle as a result of all this.  LO does NOT like to go to sleep for naps, but I can usually get at least two 45 minute naps a day with a possible catnap later if necessary. Only a month ago, I started to get an hour and half pretty consistently in the AM with a brief shhhing from me through the monitor after 40 minutes before he fully stirred.  It doesn't work anymore.

I would love any advice or help with short naps and quick wakeups. My DS needs to learn to self soothe and return to sleep on his own (sometimes he can sleep 5-6 hours as he did often when younger).  He has continual wakeups all night long varying from 5 to 15 wakeups in a night.  I would like to begin gradual withdrawal but my experience with LO says that he will just lie there awake with a mix of crying, playing, wiggling and more crying.  One night we tried for 2.5 hours, I massaged his legs and sang and stood there comforting at 1 AM determined to help him learn.  He woke 45 min later (probably OT). 

The thing is I am certain he will just skip the nap as I have seen it happen.  So how do I begin? How can I help this little inquisitive man?  He is desperate to stand and walk and has no time for anything but climbing and moving and certainly no time for naps.  He legs never rest. 

Thank you in advance for your experienced input!
Ali H

[pinkladyangel]

Firstly big big hugs to you. I know how hard it is with an lo that doesnt sleep.
My lo had reflux due to cows milk allergy. May i ask who told you meds were not necessary? If your lo has reflux the only thing that will help is meds. From 5 months (it took that long for diagnosis) my lo was on omeprazole once a day. Was a faff trying to get it in him but so worth it. He sleot. This is only my opinion and i'm not pushing you to do it. Eventually he went onto neocate for his milk allergy and a minth later we stopped the reflux meds and havent looked back. I have a happy spirited baby who has just started sleeping through the night. He still fights naps but only for about 5 mi
ns as i make sure he's really tired when he goes d :)own. Hope this helps if only just a little.

[Cogray]

Thanks. It does help a little. 

The spitting up was severe by month 2 and my pediatricians said that he had basic reflux and that it just meant a lot of laundry.  I was pretty horrified.  He was sleeping much better during the first 3 months of life- giving 6 hours many nights a week so that meant to the doctors he was uncomfortable.

The spit up just kept coming and was sometimes much more intense than other times so I went off dairy and waited for a month and half for it to get better.  Holidays hit and we didn't think there was much improvement so I went back on dairy but the spit up I guess was worse.  So off dairy I went and at this point, I was pushing to see a GI specialist even though my pediatricians kept saying simple reflux. I made an appt with a GI specialist and doctor did not feel meds were necessary.  Dr recommended going off soy as well and there seemed to be an improvement with spitting up has continued and he sleeps worse than ever.  I am so tried of arguing with the doctors that something more must be wrong and told simply that he is not uncomfortable so no meds are necessary.

Alas.  My LO doesn't sleep well and I want to help him.  The OT cycles are awful and now he has a cold.  Teething perhaps. 

I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

[timmysmommy]

Ali-
Do you believe the reflux is under control?  I cut dairy and soy also, and it seemed to do the trick and I never had to medicate.  I'm assuming you are not feeding your lo any dairy or soy in the solids you may have introduced.

Do you think the sleep issues are due to your lo being in pain or due to routine?

The first step is to try to get the pain under control.  Until the reflux is no longer the issue for sleep, I would apop whenever necessary to get a good night's rest.

If you believe that his reflux is not bothering him for sleeping, and it is a routine issue, I would apop until he gets out of his OT cycle.  This would give you an idea of his EASY schedule.  Then decide if you are going to try shush pat or gradual withdrawal.  Do your lo naps and BT early, knowing it may take longer for him to fall asleep.  That way you avoid OT.  As far as middle of the night wake ups, I would do whatever helps him to get back to sleep as quickly as possible.  Once you've got him going down for naps and bt independently, I would then use whatever technique worked for middle of the night wakes.

My son liked shush pat.  My daughter responded better to just the shush.  Both hated put down.  I would lay on the floor next to their crib and pat the mattress until they laid down, then rub their backs through the slat in the crib.  Find whatever works that won't break your back!

You could try massage to see if that helps him to relax his legs which always seem like they want to move!


Big hugs on sleeplessness.  I know exactly how exhausted you are.  Do whatever you can to get some rest.  Can someone else help you with night wake ups while you focus on sleep training during the day?  You are going to need lots of rest so you can be patient.  Earplugs might help, as well as doing relaxation techniques to keep yourself calm.  I find singing to helps me relax when I'm trying to settle Emily.  Her crying is a very angry cry- and it makes me feel angry.  She has her own song I made up and sing to her when I'm frustrated lol.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

[Cogray]

So much of what you said has made me feel so much better.  Let me just clear my eyes. 

I have posted in the past and everyone just goes to reflux and meds which has made me feel like I have done something wrong. Making me think that maybe I should have pushed harder to get meds.  But what you are saying makes me feel so relieved.  My LO does not seem to be in pain when he spits up or is lying down.  In fact, right from the beginning when he was crying and crying in that first month, I would lie him down on a blanket and then silence.  He just wanted to be solo to kick his legs and whatnot.  I understand lying down with reflux does not mix.  So, that lead me to believe that the doctors and specialists must be right and he must just have a milk/soy allergy and is experiencing reflux but is not in pain.

I make most of the food myself so no dairy and soy for LO but he has been very keen to eat everything and chews his way through turkey, roast beef, burgers, etc.... I stand amazed but he loves it.  I make every effort to be sure there is no soy or dairy in the new foods we are introducing but you know how hard it is as almost everything has soy.

All that being said.  I do think his sleeplessness is routine and he is even developing more neediness the older he gets.  I dread naptime.  My body aches from the endless dance we have to do to get there and now he wakes up when I put him in the crib.  I just don't know.  Perhaps this is because 3 weeks ago we were on vacation and he slept in stroller and front carrier a lot and now he craves more.  All I know is I have to help him get to sleep on his own.

Today..... He woke at 745.  Cereal and Fruit at 9.  And he did not want to nap and I did not want to battle so he did not sleep until 11.  Usually he would take a nap at 10ish.  Surprisingly, he quietly tucked his head into me and became quiet sucking on his "blanket".  When I pd in crib, he stirred, cried lightly, rubbed his eyes.  I shushed and massaged legs (which he loves) and he fell asleep.  He is still sleeping.  Oh. I forgot to mention I decided to use real blowdryer instead of sound machine today.  He has stirred a few times but trying to sleep.

Is it possible he needs a longer A time and that his short naps are because he is not tired enough?  Here I thought the battles to nap and short sleeps were due to OT.   I just don't know.  Wow... he is still sleeping.  Blowdryer still on.  Much stirring but asleep for 1 hr and 20 minutes.  Praise be.

I just reread your post.  I cannot thank you enough.  especially your final words of comfort. I too have a song for Gray. It is such a relief to know you are not alone and it is amazing how much better I feel.  I even have a little hope now. I must work on a renewed level of patience.  This is not easy.

Thank you.

[Cogray]

Still sleeping!!! 

I want to introduce a lovey.  Recommendations on how to do that?  Do I just have it at sleep times?

Thanks!

[timmysmommy]

Ali-
I have found my lo's fight sleep when they are not tired.  My DS was low sleep needs and we were in a terrible short nap mess until around 6 months when I threw out any idea of normal and just let him do his thing.  I figured out then that he needed much longer awake times than anything I read in the normal range.  He liked the blow dryer too.  I used the one on happiest baby on the block cd.  I used it for night wakes too.

Regarding the lovey- did you mention he already had a blankie?  As for introducing a new lovey, I believe it is suggested you sleep with it awhile so it gets your smell, then make it part of your wind down routine.

I hope the longer A time works for you.  I know it did for my lo.

I promise you, he will sleep someday.  I remember feeling that I would never sleep again, and my nerves were shot from all the crying.  Two kids later, I've found peace in that they learn to nap and Sttn eventually.  You will still experience hiccups- teething, illness, nap transition etc.  but it gets better from here- I promise.

Give yourself big hugs for being such a super mom!  And get as much rest as you can!  Nap when he does, if you can.  You need your rest to restore your patience!

The ladies on this whole forum are terrific.  They have given me hope when I felt there was none!

Good luck and keep posting!

[Cogray]

Let him do his thing.  I couldnt agree more.  I think that is why when we were on vacation it was so easy.  He just had to go with the flow and was awake for longer periods of time.  Of course, changing things up and watching and knowing your son is one thing.  This is hard to explain to the sitter who watches him 3 days a week.  Hmmm.  I will have to figure that out.

Thanks for all the advice and support. I will check out that cd as well. 

I think once he shakes the cold, I will try to do some gradual withdrawal.  He did well today but that, we know, could be a fluke. 

Question about the milk / soy allergy.  When did your LO outgrow it?  What about milk later in his diet?

Thanks for the hugs too.  I needed them today.

[pinkladyangel]

I am so sorry if you think i was pushing at reflux meds. I misunderstood and thought that you thought it was reflux. Big apologies.
Regarding the lovey. My lo had a rabbit that was a blanket too but he kept putting it on his face then panicking. In the end i cut a muslin square into smaller squares (didnt want him wrapping it round his neck) and he sleeps with one at a time. He strokes it on his cheek.

[Cogray]

No. Not at all. Not pushing. I was just thinking that meds were the only solution. When I posted in the past, everyone always kinda of said - can't do anything until meds.  I was discouraged because I thought then that I had been misreading my LO and I should have him on meds.  So it possible to have reflux but not need meds to sleep comfortably.  Then there is hope for my LO.

Could point about the lovey.  He does sometimes get panicky rough with a item.  He has a few small blankets- a muslin one too- that I have just been switching out with naps to see what he likes.

I truly appreciate all the help I have gotten.  Thank you sooo much!

[Cogray]

Update....  I am saying this quietly as not to jinks it, but LO has taken a solid morning nap for the last 5 days.  Yesterday, he took his longest morning nap (1hr 45 min) and then took a long afternoon nap (1hr 15 min- but I had to wake him to go his sister's softball game).  And to top it off, he slept from 9:30 pm til 1:30 til 5:30 and finally woke at 7:30.  This is a good night for us.  He usually woke at least 4 times after 7:30 BT and then again at 11:30 and so on through the night.  Yeah!! This is definitely a step in the right direction.

Today... 2.5 hours in the morning!!!! Wow.

Mind you this is all with the blow dryer on while he is sleeping but I suppose he likes that more than any sound machine I have purchased.  I wonder if it is safe though.

One question.... his A time seems to be around 4 hours.  Is this okay for him?  I worry about OT.  I don't want to experience that again.  What should I do to avoid that?

Thanks! 

[timmysmommy]

Great news on the longer naps!  I would say if he is getting good rest, and seems happy,  you are unlikely to run into OT. I would keep the A time at 4 hrs for a few more days and see what happens.  I don't think it can get much worse than the sleep he was already doing ifykwim?!

I would be concerned about the hairdryer on that long.  Do you have an iPhone?  Or any way to record it and play it?  I would worry about the hairdryer overheating.

[lily_layne]

Great news!  Those first long naps after weeks of short naps sure give you hope, don't they?

Mind you this is all with the blow dryer on while he is sleeping but I suppose he likes that more than any sound machine I have purchased.  I wonder if it is safe though.

My DD loves white noise when she sleeps.  As a newborn we used the hairdryer but now we use an app called White Noise Baby on our iPod. It's been a lifesaver.  I would worry about the hairdryer overheating.  I think someone mentioned the Happiest Baby on the Block CD - that might work well too.

If 4 hours A time is working, I would stick with that.

[timmysmommy]

I have that white noise app and it works well- but it dolidn't work as well as the happiest baby cd for DS.

I mentioned the hairdryer because my aunt had one short out.  It wasn't turned on, just plugged in.  But it started a fire, and melted her bathroom countertop.  I didn't want to freak you out, but I don't even leave my hairdryer plugged in for just that reason.