Ok, I'm going to offer suggestions based purely on what I personally am doing. Maybe something will stick. We've just started giving H a little snack around 9:30am after DH noticed he seemed really fretful and ticked off that T was eating a snack but he wasn't. When we did that, he had no problem staying up for 3.5hrs, whereas previously I couldn't keep him awake for longer than 3 hrs. I'm now letting him have an uncapped morning nap and then I give him a 45/60 min catnap in the afternoon between 3-4pm. I'm doing this because a) I cannot think of how else to make naps work with day care pick up, and b) when he starts day care, hopefully end of February, I'd like him to be on one nap, as it's just easier. He seems to be loving it! It kind of sucks for me because today he napped for 2.5hr and I was stuck at home but maybe that's just what need to happen.
Could you cap the morning nap and then do a solid 2hr nap in the afternoon, once everyone is home? 1-3ish? Just a thought. Man, we really need the real deal right now!