Hi everyone,
I just registered to the forum and this is my first post. As I feel quite desperate, I'll skip the introduction and will kindly ask directly for advice. I've read the Baby Whisperer book before the baby's birth and loved it - everything seemed indeed easy; then reality happened.
Our baby girl is almost 5 weeks now. On the first day after being released from the hospital (3rd day of life) she had a severe choke (spillage) through mouth and nose 2 hours after her feed while she was sleeping. We took her to the ER and she was hospitalised because of jaundice and problems with eating. She was released home on her 8th day. She was diagnosed with reflux and prescribed a thickener for pumped breast milk as well as 3 different drops (ColiPrev, InfaCalm, Vigantol - we live in Portugal, I'm not sure if the brands are the same elsewhere).
She feeds quite well and has been gaining weight on target. In the beginning mum's breasts seemingly weren't providing enough milk so we were advised to supplement with formula after the feeds. At the moment mum gives half an hour of breast plus 30 or 60 ml of formula (one breast gives less milk so we supplement with more formula). The formula we use is anti-reflux. At night we give 10 minute breast and 90 ml formula. 6 days ago we were advised to give at least one full breast feeding at night but the girl hasn't taken it very well for a few days it so we moved back to the old routine.
The baby girl now eats around every 3.5 hours (counting from the end of the feed, e.g. she starts eating at 10 am, ends around 10:45-11 am, therefore the next feed is around 2-2:30 pm. She eats well and seems to burp well enough too but after feedings has a lot of trouble falling asleep. She has jerky movements with her arms, flapping around and scratching her face or my neck; lifts legs up; body becomes extremely rigid. Basically what the Baby Whisperer describes as gas and reflux. She has regular-ish constipation which leads to extreme crying tantrums. We stimulate her rectum with a thermometer tip which leads to explosive bowel movement (quadriple, even quintiple), then healthy looking bowels a few times a day until the next constipation.
In the beginning she would cry a lot after feeding, then eventually would fall asleep, so we wouldn't wake her up. She would end up with absolutely random feeding patterns. We moved on to making sure she feeds at least every 3.5 hours and waking her up if she doesn't demand.
She seems to enjoy her pacifier a lot - it must aleviate her a great deal. When we put her down, she sucks the pacifier, loses it after a few minutes and starts panicking and crying a minute later which leads to us reinserting the pacifier. This continues for 30-60 min probably (haven't been timing it). The nights are actually better than days - she normally has her last meal around 8:30 to 9:30 pm, falls asleep by 10:30-11pm. Wakes up crying around 2:15 am to eat, then around 7am again for the 2nd feed of the night. Falls asleep OK at night, certainly better than during the day.
The crying tantrums feel inconsolable, although some things do help. Going up and down the stairs seems to calm her; patting on the tushy as well. We have a sling and she seems to enjoy it while I'm standing, walking, etc. If I sit down, she gets uncofortable and cries.
She absolutely adores car rides in the car seat and sleeps all through it; same with stroller walks(the car seat acts as the stroller seat at this age too). But if she's simply seated in the car seat while we prepare to leave, she starts crying.
The bed mattress is tilted around 30 degrees but she absolutely resents the bed during the day. She starts crying pretty much the moment she's put in bed or put flat to be swaddled. Once I start swaddling, she jerks her arms violently and cries. When put in bed she makes all kinds of gurgling noises.
The mother is vegetarian, eats quite healthy, lots of legumes, homemade soups, salads, home-cooked food - vegetable stews with tofu, seitain, etc. Doesn't drink cow milk but does eat cheese and other dairy products.
One possible issue I thought might be that she feeds too rarely with quantities that are too much for her? Perhaps we should stop supplementing during the day? Although she does take the formula supplements very willingly. At night she sometimes refuses food when we offer too much so she does know when to stop.
I've tried to name as many symptoms as I could come up with. We'll appreciate any comments, ideas, suggestions - anything.
Best regards to everyone who reads it,
Daddy