Extended Nursing Support Thread part 4

[becj86]

I think we have a pretty bad breastfeeding prop at night I really can't keep getting up 2-3 times each night. DH can't go, he's driving too far on too dangerous a road for work and needs his sleep and I basically am in the position of keeping DS quiet so DH can sleep. DH went in once on Friday night and DS just asked for me. Knowing we weren't going to be consistent about any kind of sleep training, I just got up and went to him. The thing is, its putting everything else out of whack, his nap in the day is ridiculously long (2.5-3hr). Having said this, there was a wonderful night (just the one) that he STTN, so I know he can do it.

There is no no-cry solution, I know. I'm considering taking up a demanding exercise regimen in the hopes my oversupply will 'dry up' and he'll become uninterested... maybe even meds to stop milk production

I don't want to stop BF, just don't want to BF at BT and 2-3 times through the night and then not again til BT! The 17-18hr gap is madness, I shouldn't be getting engorged after feeding for 18 months I'd be happy with BT and WU.  How to achieve that is something I can't yet decide.

[amayzie]

Ok- if it were me i'd go for getting rid of all of the night feeds- it's sort of easier to say- no feeds, rather than no feed THIS waking and not THAT waking. I would say too that it should take you only a couple of nights to get rid of it- can you perhaps wait until you have a long weekend or something? We generally have done the 'do anything except feed' option.. so holding him still to get him settled. The good thing about the most recent time we did this is that he understood what i meant when i said 'no milk' .... I offerred water instead just in case he was thirsty.

Just a thought- i'd wait till you're ready though... it can be a real pain... I would think though you'd be better to try to reduce the feeds yourself rather than taking meds or anything like that... just my thoughts though...

[becj86]

Ok- if it were me i'd go for getting rid of all of the night feeds- it's sort of easier to say- no feeds, rather than no feed THIS waking and not THAT waking.

This is what I tried last time, but DH would get to 4am and whinge that he was tired and needed a couple of hours of sleep and say I should go in and feed, so we basically taught him that if mummy goes in, he gets fed That was DH's only attempt at assisting with sleep training and I might as well not have bothered, so it will be just me this time, hard as that will be or I will go away for a few days and leave the boys to it

Silly thing is that he goes to bed completely independently and then wants milk through the night

I guess I'm just thinking meds because at least there'd be no milk there and he might decide to drop it himself once he's not getting anything, though I do wonder if he'd still want to suckle

[amayzie]

I did it myself this time- DH did it at 11 months and then it was sort of my fault that it came back- so i just sucked it up and held him and said 'no milk' ...    He doesn't need it- it's just a habit thing i'd say..

[anna*]

((hugs)) hun I agree with Katy, I'd tackle the sleep training myself and keep BF for  bedtime and first thing in the am. Yes it will be hard but not impossible, yk? Get DH some earplugs and just deal with it like us mamas do. It'll be a few sleepless  nights but then you'll BOTH be better rested.

So Audrey's top two teeth have been through for a while but they're really hurting me when she BFs. Her latch is pretty good I think. Her tongue obviously covers her bottom teeth but her top ones sort of graze very very slightly back and forth with each suck, so by the end of the feed it's REALLY sore and sometimes I have to stop her on one side and swap her over just because it's hurting too much. This doesn't seem like the kind of thing that's going to get better?

[amayzie]

Oh- and reading back it sounds like i HELD HIM WHILE HE SCREAMED FOR HOURS!!! It really wasn't that dramatic.. at this age it is such a clear protesting cry rather than a sort of 'but mum WHY WHY!!!!' sort of thing.. i just sat on the lounge and calmly told him it was sleeping time...

Is she teething or has a cold or anything anna? someone said that if they have extra saliva for whatever reason (illness, teething) this can cause more irritation to you than at other times. I had this at 11 months or so and had to try the football hold for a bit- was ridiculous as he was huge- but it worked a treat- gave me a chance to heal...

[Erin M]

Anna, yes maybe different holds if she'll have it?  Try relatching maybe?

Bec, L understands things pretty well, maybe just explain to him that there's no more milk at night and stick to it? Maybe take the front half of the night and have dh do the second half so you won't be available if your resolve weakens after some hours? 

[amayzie]

whatever you do- don't decide to do it the night before work! You will give up after 5 mins! (or i would....)

[Papaya]

Hugs Bec.

L understands things pretty well, maybe just explain to him that there's no more milk at night and stick to it?

By this age I could tell F that the mama boobies were busy sleeping and making yummy milk for the morning. She would generally accept that explanation, even if she was still a bit unhappy about it. (Now she often wakes shouting "morning time! Mama boobies not sleep anymore!" or some variation - don't see this child weaning any time soon... )

[Fiver]

*hugs* Bec - he hasn't got some teeth bothering him or something?  Might explain the requirement for that sort of comfort in the night (breastmilk having some analgesic properties and all).  And agree about getting DH some earplugs if he needs his sleep and you're going to be dealing with it (as long as he gives you a lie in on the weekend )

Anna, D was the same when her top teeth were coming through and it's definitely better now.  I think it takes them a little while to work out what to do with these weird sharp things in their mouths and to adjust their latch to accommodate that.

[becj86]

Oh- and reading back it sounds like i HELD HIM WHILE HE SCREAMED FOR HOURS!!!

See, this is the difference. I don't know if spirited persistence of what, but Logan screamed for 3hr with DH (imagine if it had been me ) and DH buckled and yelled at me to just feed him, why would I stop feeding him if he wants it so much?! That's the longest he screamed (and it was on day 6) but we stopped after that because I see it as pointless to feed him after he's screamed for 3hr. Just reinforces that he should scream long and loud enough and he'll get fed

Amanda, I get the teeth thing, I do but that's been the argument on and off for 6 months now and in between, its been illness, mental leap, SA.

Having said all that, he slept a 9hr stretch last night and I woke 4 times because my body is so used to anticipating when he's going to wake At 4:30, just as I was thinking he'd STTN, he woke and wanted me, but he's still asleep now at 6:20 which is awesome since he was in bed last night at 7:20 off the back of a 3hr nap and a 4hr10 A time after that. Maybe he's waking from OT and we just have to get more sleep into him... how I don't know because we're just not at home long enough at night for him to have a 12hr night on a regular basis

Bec, L understands things pretty well, maybe just explain to him that there's no more milk at night and stick to it?

Lovely thought, and I really don't want to minimise any of you lovely ladies' suggestions at all. Last time I did this (around 16 months I think), he woke and yelled out 'mummy' instead of just crying and then when I reminded him no milk, oh wow did he go nuts! He bit me, pulled my hair, scratched me and screamed the house down - it was awful.

My resolve to wean is gone again this morning maybe I was just grumpy and tired

Anna - Logan's front teeth did graze me quite a bit when he got them and sometimes if he was teething. I would just put that breast away and say it was sore and he'd somehow compensate on the other side, so I think he eventually learned that whatever he was doing wasn't on. That was only ok after he'd had a go feeding from it though, refuse to give him a breast in the first place and he'd act as if I'd said I'd never feed him again.

[Fiver]

Ah Bec, I wasn't suggesting feeding him, just why he might be waking for it.  What about trying out some pain meds before bed to see if that makes a difference?  It may be you've tried that already, though

[becj86]

Ah Bec, I wasn't suggesting feeding him, just why he might be waking for it.

ok All 1yr molars and canines are in fully and he's 18 months... could he really be getting 2yr molars already? seems early
Pain meds are difficult here, anything that works has nasty side-effects for him. I really have to *know* he's in pain to use the only one left in my arsenal that he can have because it has codeine in it and that freaks me out and constipates him.

This morning, I feel like I'm happy to ride it out, he's STTN onec and done a 9hr stretch in the space or 2-3 weeks. That's an improvement of sorts
Man, I'm chicken!

[Fiver]

Anything after 12m is the 2nd year   D will be 3 before she gets hers

Shame about the pain meds   Is it the same for something topical like a gel or liquid?

[Erin M]

Quote from: Erin M on Today at 08:32:45 AM
Bec, L understands things pretty well, maybe just explain to him that there's no more milk at night and stick to it?
Lovely thought, and I really don't want to minimise any of you lovely ladies' suggestions at all. Last time I did this (around 16 months I think), he woke and yelled out 'mummy' instead of just crying and then when I reminded him no milk, oh wow did he go nuts! He bit me, pulled my hair, scratched me and screamed the house down - it was awful.

LOL, I only said he'd understand what you meant, not that he'd be happy about it.  Listen, you know what you're in for, and you know what you need to do.  DH would say it's a cost-benefit analysis, businessman that he is -- at what point is the time you're going to put into getting him through the night without the boob going to work out, yk?  I'll be happy to cheer you on whenever you do decide, but if you're more or less ok with it, just go with it for now.    xo