newborn easy mess - too much e, not enough s, confusing a! *and it continues...

[creations]

Just want to check I have this right...
first A 3hrs ish
2hr nap - was this in the swing? did he go to sleep independently?
second A 2hr 50 (you have 2hr 20 but is it from 11.25am - 2.15pm)?
second nap 35 min
third A 6hrs ??
BT roughly 10hr night with early hours disturbance and feeding on and off?

Is this roughly how a day goes give or take?

[mycatmonet]

Morning! Yes second nap was in swing. He roused when swaddled and I think I saw his eyes open when I had pd.
Oops yes second A was 2h50min, brain wasn't working lol... I was guessing first A was 3hrs approx as not sure of exact wu yesterday!
Our days don't follow much pattern. 2 hr naps aren't too common really.
After bt 8.45pm last night first nf was 3.15am (yay!)....

[creations]

Sorry I'm still not totally clear if both or one of those naps were in the swing - I wasn wondering if the first nap of 2hrs was in the swing and this helped him transition or if you had him in a sling which helped etc.

Anyway, if that last A is 6hrs I really think this is where you could do with changing the routine.  I would aim to get him into bed no later than 3hrs after WU from the last nap. So if he sleeps nap 2 until say 3.30pm then BT would be no later than 6.30pm. This gives him a chance of a decent night sleep and catch up on some OT. Those very eW and dozing in the morning could well be due to such a long A to bed.  BT at 6.30 also allows for a (roughly) 12hr night.

Hope this helps.

[mycatmonet]

Thanks creations... all naps have been in the swing! I have kept track for a few days. We have no patterns or consistency.  One day he was awake 10hrs, possibly more but I fell asleep,  the next was a day with a good 4.75hrs day naps total and a 7hr stretch at bt to 3am with a 1.5hr nf and then back to bed to wu at 5am... the second stretch of ns was in the cot, first was in swing.
Anyway I am mindful of needing to stop feed to sleep, but I can't work out magic a times as he is so hard to read, I swear he has no tired signs. And when pd he is happy to  lie there, and then starts kicking in his swaddle and grunting with the exertion, which I think is os him. So whereas dd I could ssh pat for ages but there was fussing to ssh pat yk? I don't know what to do with ds at all! He won't lie there and go to sleep but if I am there with a hand on him to stop the kicking he is happy and thinks it is playtime... the only way I have gotten him to sleep for a few weeks is to feed to sleep, he won't even fall asleep on your shoulder, and in the emeibaby carrier he wants to stickybeak around before finally naping in that now... sigh!

[creations]

It feels like we have taken a long time to get to these A times...
Have you tried clock watching and putting him down at an average guidance time of say 1hr 20/30 rather than watching for cues? His A times are so long perhaps he is wired when you put him down and just cannot relax?

If it was me, I would stop trying to feed to sleep, it isn't working anyway.  If he is calm in his bed/swing (whether swaddled or not) I would let him just chill out there, if he needs a pat then do that.  Prepare him for sleep, do your WD, and pop him in his crib or swing and let him either sleep or not. You can't force him to sleep, you can only provide the right setting and support him if he frets (with your presence and shush/pat etc).  After 1.5hrs in his bed get him up, feed and get on with your A time regardless of whether he slept or not.  Another 1hr 20/30 A time then into bed again.
It seems to me that with such long A times he is not learning to relax and sleep regularly through the day, and perhaps clock watching to put him on a routine is the way to go.
What do you think?

[mycatmonet]

Yeah. I will try that. Dd is making this impossible atm as she is ill and being... well spirited and 2. Will try monday when hopefully dd is at her gran's.