How to create a routine for 3w boy?

[creations]

Yes I would leave the white noise on too.
If you like Bt being later I would certainly leave him to sleep later in the morning. Let him wake naturally at 7.30 like you said. I don't think you can really have too much night sleep.

[Martini~]

My iPhone:) i need it so I turn it off. And I was a bit afraid that will get so used to WN that it will become a prop...?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

White noise is just part of the environment...all my kids use it and are fine to sleep elsewhere when needed without it (or with different noise, ie a fan). You can buy white noise machines or get a cheap cd player and have a cd on a loop.

[Martini~]

Thanks you so much ladies for some advice. It was a bad moment when I wrote this message and my motivation was on loose end.... I will be watching him and looking for the best solution.

I guess my son has very different A time or maybe he needs the same A time but in the morning it can be high-stimulating activity like baby gym or mobile, and in the afternoon it should be just sitting in a bouncy chair with paci to wind down before a proper nap.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

DD2 was like that - all highly stimulating stuff had to happen early in the day (which included baths - and even then only when absolutely necessary!) and be low key as the day went on.

[creations]

I didn't bath mine until he was 5 months old!!!  He hated baths so intensely I just didn't see the point in putting us both through it so I did a good wash down with a cloth instead and about once per week tried a quick dunk in a bath. Eventually he was happy with the quick dunk and soon after began enjoying baths every couple of days and then every evening.

There are white noise MP3s you can upload from amazon very cheaply and also some free ones on-line perhaps you could burn a disc to play in his room instead of using your phone, like Heidi suggested.  There are also pink noise, brown noise...all sorts of different sounds.

[Martini~]

Today I will try to put WN for whole naps, I integrated laptop in his room so let's see. I have to check those pink, brown and etc noises - didn't know there are so many.

I guess my biggest problem is that I do not know when to put him asleep. Following sleep cues in our case means - if he gets fussy and change of scenery doesn't help, I put him down. That's the rule for first two naps. Later in the day it gets moe difficult. After very long nap 11-1pm (no matter if with cry-outs or not) he gets fussy after less than an hour! We usually go for a walk between 2-4pm so when he starts crying I just go with him in stroller out and about. The case is that he is not settling in this stroller right away but he just lies there calmly for first 15-20min with eyes open. So I got the idea that maybe he is OS when the day goes on.

The same case I have in the afternoon when he is very fussy from 16:45 so only 45min after wakeup. But when I try to settle him for sleep, he is just lying in his crib for 20min or so and watching his room. I guess it may be a low stimulating activity for him... But is it right that after I swaddle him and did sleep routine he has his activity in his crib? What different kind of low-stimulating A could I make for him?
Yesterday we managed by chance having a good afternoon as when he started to be fussy we put him in the car seat (we were at the doctor appointment just after feeding). First 10-15min he was just happy to seat there with his paci and when he started to cry a bit I turn white noise, black out the car seat and he just went into 30-40min nap.

[creations]

It's fine for him to have a 20 mins or so just relaxing in his crib. Tracy explained the wind down for sleep as taking 20 mins. In the early days with my LO I saw (by the clock) it took my LO exactly 20 mins to fall to sleep, he went through the exact stages Tracy described (seven mile stare, nodding eyes) before falling to sleep.  Some times he woke mid nap and looked around at things for a while and eventually nodded off again. Although it may feel as though you should help your LO sleep letting him have this calm time and (hopefully) put himself to sleep after 15 - 20 mins is actually a great way to practice his self settling.
45 mins sounds like a short A time but when you add on the additional 20 mins it takes to fall to sleep it isn't as short as it seems. He may be more tired in the evenings and like a slightly shorter than average A time then.

Do you still feel your routine is not settled and as you would like it?

[Martini~]

Yesterday afternoon I has a great baby:). I did what we talked about - when he started to get fussy when I was changing his diaper (close to mobile), I thought - "oh no, that's too early for you" - 40min after wakeup. So I calmed him down on my arms and put him for next 10min in less stimulating scenery, then again he started to get fussy - so I changed the scenery once again for even less stimulating. Last 10min he spent in his crib with lights on in the room however. At 17:10 he started to get fussy so I turned off lights, turn on white noise and he closed his eyes after 5min. He cried for a while after about 15min (but I just increased white noise volume and he went back to sleep) and he slept an hour!!! I woke him up at 6:15 pm. At 7:15-20 after some activity, bath 7 feeding, I put him in the crib and he fallen asleep easily:).

Here would be my question to the routine, should I feed him just after nap (no signs of hunger) and then tank him up after bath or maybe feeding at 7pm after bath would be better?

I am however still fighting with morning naps. Yesterday he woke up at 45min mark and I was unsuccessful in resettling.... Today next try, will see how it works. I went through my notes in calendar and he was able to sleep more than 45min last week, but it was in a car seat, stroller or I just managed to resettle him after 45min mark.
If he is waking every 10min does it means he is OT or UT? If he is waking at 45min mark he is OT or UT...?

Oh God, he napped so well couple of weeks ago, and now he is waking and waking....

[creations]

In general if LO is waking every 10 min in the first part of the nap it is either from jolts (normal, part of the relaxation process, this is why swaddling helps.  You can also try a method called HTTJ - holding through the jolts - a firm hand on arms and legs so he feels safe when he jolts in the first part of sleep.  It can also be linked to OT or OS (over stimulation) although it sounds like you are keeping things low key for him.
Waking at 45 mins is an inability to transition from one sleep cycle to the next, it could be all sorts of reasons, too hot, too cold, a noise, discomfort, not learned to transition alone yet for that nap, or UT.  Again these are general reasons.

If he hasn't done a long morning nap without being in the stroller or car yet then perhaps he hasn't learned to transition alone. It sounds like he is falling to sleep independently at the start of the sleep in his crib (sounds like he's doing great!) so perhaps use the crib for that nap and try a W2S at 35 mins, keep the white noise going and pat him through from 35 min through the transition and into deep sleep. This means you are 'resettling' before he has a chance to fully wake and cry, it can help to teach him to nap longer.
He might also be ready for a little more A time, if you want to post your current EAS times, maybe tomorrow’s times.

he napped so well couple of weeks ago, and now he is waking and waking

With him still being so young it could well be that he was still in his sleepy phase when he was napping so well. New borns can sleep a lot and appear to be able to sleep anywhere too.  He's getting more alert now so everything is different. You will get on a decent routine though.  It really does sounds like you are both doing so well!

[Martini~]

Will post the routine later in the afternoon when I have a moment when he naps.
There are some points in setting routine where I am still thinking how to deal with.

Regarding naps - I am fine with him not yet learnt how to transit from one phase to another, he is still so young - 7wo on Sunday:)! It's just me thinking if I have done something wrong that he was able to nap well but now that has changed.

Regarding white noise, I also have to think how it is working. When it is from laptop it's quite silent and I am not quite sure if he needs it at all in background. It is working for him when he is unsettled and crying to sooth him but it has to be played laud... I guess then it's working like shhhh from Tracy's shhhh/pat method.

[Martini~]

Ok, so as promised my routine right now:

WU 7am-ish
E 7am
A ~1h15-1h30 depending on when he wakes up and how long it takes to settle him
--> (optional E) 8am if he has eaten almost nothing at 7 probably full after 5am NF
S between 8:15&10 am (45min-1h) - always wakes up with a cry, I try to resettle - this week, totally not successful:(

E 10:00am - no matter if he ate at 7:00, 7:30 or additional portion at 8:00
A up to 11:10am - it's quite long as his first nap is almost always finished before 10am; yesterday he managed up to 11:30 without fussing
S 11:15am - 1:00pm - this week he has constant waking during that nap - every 10min or in 45min mark, however here I always manage to resettle

E 1pm - almost always have to wake him & he is very sleepy, no matter how long he slept & if he was waking up or not during that nap
A up to 2:00-2:15pm - he is getting fussy even before 2pm, so I put him in the stroller and he calms down there even when not sleeping
S 2:15 - 4:00pm - sometimes he is waking during that nap, but generally stroller is making a good nap

E 4pm
A up 5:15pm (low stimuli activity, mainly in his room - two days ago success, yesterday failure but will be trying:D)
S 5:15-6:15pm (nap may be shorter or longer, depending on how he settled, I wake him latest 6:15pm as waking him just before BT makes going into bed impossible)

A 6:15pm - 6:40 low stimuli activity as he woke up from a nap or I woke him
E 18:40 - 18:50 (1. feed - cluster)
A bath 15min
E 19:05-19:20 (2. feed - cluster)
BT 19:20, sleeping after 10min maximum

NF: between 4/5am - sometimes even after 5:00, always takes full feed
from 5:30 till 7:00 usually some NW, but easily resettled

Comments:
- if he wakes before 7 I resettle, if after 7 I allow him to sleep until 7:20, often wakes up without crying
- his naps this week went nuts; I am able to settle him nicely thanks to white noise, but than he just wakes up.... we still managed to have some good naps this week but they were an exception this week

I am planning to change the routine in the evening for:
E 6:00pm
A up to 7:10pm
E 7:10pm
S: 7:15-7:30pm

I also think on what to do in the morning as I start to believe that I will never even manage to be successful with his nap in the morning.

[creations]

You are correct in thinking the white noise works like a shush, bit easier on you though as it can continue throughout the sleep so it helps at transitions and also to block out any external noises there might be which could wake LO.

I'm still not seeing anything major to tweak here. The first nap isn't extending but the A time seems reasonable. If you are finding it hard work for that first nap you could accept the short nap for now and just get him up and get on with the rest of your day?

I really don't see anything here that you are doing 'wrong' which seems to be your concern.  Honestly looks like you're doing a great job, you are there for your LO and doing everything possible to set the scene for sleep and a good routine. He does seem to have a preference for sleeping well later in the day rather than his first nap and this may work itself out - or perhaps he will continue to have a preference for a shorter nap there and this may turn out to be the nap you drop when he is older.