Lorraine
How are you going. Sorry it has been a few days since I got back, just wanted to think things through a bit.
Sorry to hear you are doing it alone, it makes it hard (I had 2 months where my dh was sick/hospital & that taught me lots about how hard it is)
few things... with the feeding on demand, I don't know if you realise, but given the amount of solids your lo is taking & bf, the demand you are feeding is not for calories or nutrients, but it is an emotional one... you and your lo have learnt to satisfy any sort of need with you offering the breast. This is not a bad thing, but it will mean that unless you change things your little Freddie will keep waking at night for months if not years, which is why it is the only thing that re-settles him.
Also re the dummy there is actually no set age that babies toddlers "need to suck" But by 6months most babies need a lot of effort to wean them off it & I can tell you my 2yo still has the need to suck it is an emotional thing with him & started when my dh was sick & I needed to give him the dummy & there is a whole long story attached.
I think if you think he is getting addicted to it, now is the time to wean, not at 6mo.
Finally I know what it is like to not "do staying at home well" but unfortunately the lack of consistencey & routine in your lo's life is not helping getting him to sleep better at night, as I think it is making him over tired.
When he starts at nursery, is it 5 days or less?, at what age? Because that has the potential to make things worse or better as it will result in a very good structure to his days, but it may cause overstimulation, separation anxieity & even less nap time. Oh & is he to be offered a bottle/sippy cup of expressed milk at nursery?
I'd like to help you through this, as I know how hard it is & I have been there (my worst night was 10 wakeings & 2 hours sleep & I went to work the next day!) BUT It is not going to be easy & I might suggest you start inviting people to your place, so you can have some support & get him used to his cot & sleep.
I feel like I just keep telling you all the things that are wrong... But let me tell you, it is so obvious you love your lo & that is fantastic & getting him to sleep well (despite the crying it will probably involve) will make him happier too!!