Hit me with your best newborn sleep advice!

[lily_layne]

I spent way too many hours tying myself up in knots about R's sleep and I am determined to not let myself get that anxious/worked up about sleep with this LO (due in a few weeks). I don't want to spend hours and hours in a dark room trying for sleep as I don't think it's healthy for either of us. I also think I was trying to get on a consistent routine too early and that led to so much of the anxiety and feelings of failure. So...what's your best newborn sleep advice? What do you do to let go of fear/worry when your LO doesn't sleep well?

Thanks.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Well it took me a third time to really get the hang of it...best thing ever was to have a wrap for naps early on so I could get stuff done - either with the older kids or just cooking or housework. I did a lot more apop but always kept the first nap as a good try for self settling, but if it wasn't looking promising after 10-15 min I held her or stuck her in the wrap. Tbh I BW each of my kids differently but ended up in the same place, around the 6/7/8 month mark things started to fall into place and besides teething/illness/developement they have been pretty decent sleepers!

Oh and the biggest thing with DD3 I learned was to trust my gut! She was/is very very lsn but I fought against it because she was so far over the average A times it was ridiculous, but that is who she is, the baby who acts like a big girl already!

[katie80]

I second the wrap/carrier advice!! When they're so small it's just the best way to go. I started putting my second in the crib for one nap per day very early, so I could also have a bit of one on one time with DD. When I started transitioning his other naps to the crib, I still APd one long nap per day (whether in the carrier or swing), so that no matter what he got a decent sleep and I got a break. He was and is my most flexible sleeper (but he's also a thumb sucker, which I think helps). I tried all the same things with DS2, but he's way more touchy (DS1 is totally textbook/angel), so they all stopped working at some point. But, as a newborn, the wrap was still the best! Good luck!!

[creations]

My NB tips:
- don't stress it if you can't put LO down for sleep
- do put LO down for sleep if you can, even just a few mins so you are not permanently 'trapped' and can at least have a stretch/shower/wee/cuppa
- a wrap or sling
- begin gentle sleep training in the place you believe you want LO to sleep - if you are going to use a stroller a lot to get out and about with DD1 then there is no point sleep training in a cot in a dark room (mine wouldn't sleep unless at home in his cot, makes life tricky)
- Dr Harvey Karp's 5S method (swaddle, side, shush, swing, suck). It is very similar to, and compliments BW approach. It is like a miracle calming solution for a crying NB. I began instantly as I had watched videos prior to DS's birth (you tube etc just google it) and used a combo of this method and BW.
- I sang one well chosen song every day, many times per day when preg. DS recognised this the day he was born and it had a very soothing effect.  It was his sleep song for every nap and BT.

[Katet]

With DS2 I decided that naps that occurred when DS1 was napping would occur in the cot, bedtime would be a good set routine &  all other naps would fit around the family routine... so if it was (as it was at times) catnap, catnap, good nap, cat nap, cat nap, bedtime, so be it... that middle of the day nap would outlast all the others so it was the most important, the others were in the car/stroller/sling/arms, what ever worked for the family.

I also tried to nap when both boys were napping so that I was less tired with the night wakings & I was then (hopefully) less stressed & more able to cope when the inevitable happened & there were times when he wouldn't sleep.

[PaulsMom]

A couple things that I did....
-stop watching the clock!  If it's a 30 min nap, try to roll with it.  There will always be another nap early on
-I put DD down and if she was calm but awake I'd leave her be. 
- just accept the fact that some naps will be in the stroller, car seat, etc.

[weaver]

A wrap or sling is a god send in the first three months.

If BFing, look up laid-back BFing for night feeds, I got tons more rest with LO2 than LO1.

If there is another tot in the house, do everything in your power to get them napping at the same time!!!  A life saver!

[lily_layne]

This is great advice! I think I need to print this out and keep it handy. I have a wrap and didn't use it much with R - it sounds like I'll be using it a lot more this time around! I just added "look up laid-back BFing" to my to do list for tomorrow. I used Karp's 5s's with R (unfortunately, I didn't learn about then until she was 6 or 7 weeks) and it worked wonderfully once I got the hang of the technique.

[creations]

I used Karp's 5s's with R (unfortunately, I didn't learn about then until she was 6 or 7 weeks) and it worked wonderfully once I got the hang of the technique.

I discovered when DS was prob about a year old that I'd been laying him on the wrong side. The technique still worked wonderfully but I can see the logic of them laying (whilst being held and doing the tiny shudder type 'rock' or swing plus the shushing) on the correct side as it prevents reflux and lets wind out. Hmm, I think they go on their left side, maybe check that.

[anna*]

A rest on the couch with a newborn on your chest is one of life's great pleasures, and it's a shame to skip that in the quest for independent sleep or routine.

[Katet]

A rest on the couch with a newborn on your chest is one of life's great pleasures, and it's a shame to skip that in the quest for independent sleep or routine.

totally got to agree with this, routines are fantastic, but they will never be 'perfect' & they certainly shouldn't cause a family stress, you only have a baby for such a short time & honestly they do learn to sleep, it's not worth being stressed about it

[lily_layne]

A rest on the couch with a newborn on your chest is one of life's great pleasures, and it's a shame to skip that in the quest for independent sleep or routine.

I didn't do enough of this with R out of fear of becoming a prop. Thanks for the reminder to do it simply because it's wonderful.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Elliotte apparently is a big girl now and doesn't want motn snuggles as much so I am sure glad I enjoyed them while I could!

[lily_layne]

If BFing, look up laid-back BFing for night feeds, I got tons more rest with LO2 than LO1.

I looked up laid-back feeding and it turns out that's the position and technique I used with R! I always just settled her on me and let her do the rest. How did it help you get more rest at night? Did you feed in bed?

[weaver]

How did it help you get more rest at night? Did you feed in bed?

Yes, I basically built an armchair out of pillows in the bed for NFs!  Supported arms, back, and one under LO2 when she was tiny, plugged her in and zoned out  

That brings me to my other bit of NB sleep advice.  If you can, get DH to sleep elsewhere and leave you and LO to it.  That worked a treat for me because I wasn't worried about disturbing someone else's sleep and could easily adopt whatever position was best for feeding.  And LO was within arm's reach, just about, if she woke, I just had to stand up, pick her up and back into bed.  Minimal night-time effort.