10 week old trying to do EASY but bored of milk

[fairypk]

So we kind of tweaked the routine and DS is 12 weeks today. Well he tweaked the routine.

Wake up: 750/8/830
E 3 oz at 815 or so
A
S (with great difficulty at 1030 maybe earlier)

E 3 oz at 11/115
A
Massage & bath time at 1240 or so, we are done by 1

E 4-5 oz at 115
S

Wake up at 415/430
E at 445/5 (make 4 oz sometimes he has 3 oz)
A
S at 645/650 (cat nap for 30 mins)

E 730 (I make 3 oz he has 1 oz)
A some play time then pamper change, change into jammies, a bed time story
S 830/9 and he finishes the rest of his milk at this time

DF at 1020 (4 oz)

E at 5/530 am (i make 3 oz but he has 2-2.5 oz)

We are still all over the place but he is getting approximately 10-12 hours at night and around 3-3.5 hours in the afternoon (sometimes less) and about 1-1.5 hour with catnaps. I guess he is getting the required number of hours but I really dread when he's awake (i feel horrible saying this) but he will sit in his bouncer for 15-20 mins only and gets bored easily. Today I left him in his bouncer to fall asleep (which he didnt) then put him in his cot with his mobile on so low key activities in the hope he will sleep. Doing the same as we speak, he is in cot with pacifier watching his mobile because I don't think we are hungry yet!

His routine is making it super difficult for me to even think of going to work

[fairypk]

Also today when he woke up around 11ish I fed him he played on his bouncer I sang to him he yawned 3 times and i tried to put him to sleep and he didn't Eventually I put him in bouncer without his toys this time and with a pacifier so he could soothe himself. He was quiet for a good 10-20 mins but I'm just waiting in anticipation because I know he will cry.

His naps before noon takes ages although i spot the cues and realize its been 1.5 hours or something

[*Kara*]

Are you only making 3-4 ozs for most of his bottles?  At this age, he should be taking 5-6 ozs each feed, and they should be every 3-3.5 hrs apart. 

Also, I wouldn't put him in his bouncer to sleep... nor would I leave him to go to sleep with his mobile on over the crib.  In fact, I would remove the mobile - they can be quite stimulating for wee ones.  Also, you want him to know the difference between playtime and sleep time.. the bouncer is for play and the crib is for sleep.. you are sending him some mixed messages and he really isn't sure what to expect at any given time. 

What level of nipple/teat are you using on his bottles right now?  Brand?

[fairypk]

I am using Born Free bottles and plan on starting level 2 teats today.

Once in awhile he will have 4.5 oz in one go but not on a regular basis. Maybe the different teat will have an impact.

Yesterday he didn't take a nap so was awake till massage and bath time (he was awake more than I wanted him to) then after that he had 4.5 oz and went to sleep and woke up on dot at 4 wanting to play and poop. He didn't want to have his milk till 6pm.

I'm trying to follow the EAS but he seems to wake up early and wants to play.

Same thing happened this morning at 5 am he had 2.5 oz then woke up at 750 so let him play in his cot for awhile because I had to wash his bottles etc but I knew he wouldn't be hungry till 830 and he dragged those 3 oz for an hour. Fell asleep at 930 so I put him in his cot with the lights dimmed but he only slept for 30 mins. He doesn't seem to like long naps during the day no matter where he sleeps.

I only put him in the bouncer once he is asleep and remove the toys from the top so he isn't distracted by them. He doesn't look at his mobile too often i show it to him during his A time only not to put him to sleep. he falls asleep in my arms and fights it like crazy. same thing happened today when he woke up at 10 he was still tired but refused to sleep. really trying hard to extend our naps but very confused

[*Kara*]

I think you might have a major prop issue hun... how is he falling asleep?

[fairypk]

Falling asleep is in my arms where I have to sing to him and he fights it. I cradle him so that he can't see anything and I'm pretty sure he doesn't like it but I know that is the only way he willo sleep.

Today I swaddled him tightly in the morning at 9ish and gave him pacifier, turned off lights and he fell asleep on his own. but woke up after 30-40 mins although he was still tired. there was absoutely no noise in the room.

also in the morning he had 2.5 oz at 4 am (he didn't want more) then started stirring at 6 although then woke up at 730 although he didn't want milk till 830!

DH and I are barely getting sleep since he makes noises from 2-3 am onwards and feeding him isn't the solution!

[*Kara*]

Babies are noisy sleepers in general   They grunt and groan and make all sorts of strange sounds...

I think part of your issue is that he is falling asleep with your help... so anytime he wakes partially between sleep cycles, he is unsure how to go back to sleep on his own.

there was absoutely no noise in the room.

Some babies need some sort of noise to sleep well... DD has a loudly ticking clock in her room (I read somewhere that it can mimic momma's heartbeat).

Are you only making 3-4 ozs for most of his bottles?  At this age, he should be taking 5-6 ozs each feed, and they should be every 3-3.5 hrs apart. 

I am using Born Free bottles and plan on starting level 2 teats today.

Just revisiting.. how much do you make for each feed?  Did the faster teats have an impact?

[fairypk]

I have tried one level 2 teat hasn't made much of a difference he is 3 months tomorrow so will switch all bottles to level 2 teats today.

I tried giving 5 oz during his DF feed yestrerday but he had 4.5 oz which took him like 30 mins!

DH and I are exhausted because of his stirring!!! It's not so much about waking up and giving him milk which takes 10-15 mins as much as the fact that he will stir even 1-2 hours after that!

Also, when he feeds at 4-5 in the morning when he wakes up around 740 he isn't hungry. For the last 2 days I havent been giving him milk at 4/5 but when he wakes up I give him 4 oz which he actually has by 9! That's fair enough because his DF starts at 1015 and I guess he should be able to go for 8 hours or so without milk and whenever he does wake up in the morning he has never super hungry, he just wakes up, smiling and wanting to play. Maybe his diaper also makes him uncomfortable since I'm tying not to change it at night anymore? What do you guys suggest change during DF or have him wear 2 diapers?

I agree a huge part of the problem is how he falls asleep and I am desperately trying to change that by swaddling and giving him pacifier but I really don't know what to do! Going crazy now!!!!

[*Kara*]

I guess he should be able to go for 8 hours or so without milk

Why would you think this?  That is a really long time to go without a feed at this age... as a general rule, babies at 3 months commonly have a feed at bedtime, a DF and up to 2 night feeds as well.  This would be completely normal... any baby that sleeps more at night that this is a really good baby   Some are down to one feed, but two is still pretty common (in addition to the DF).  Also, there is a growth spurt at 3 months and another at 4 months, so normal to need more overnight at these times too...

Again, if he is taking longer than 20 mins to finish a feed, you need to increase the teat level, regardless of the recommended age on the packaging.  Many babies move through them much quicker than what you would expect.  Also, expect it to take a couple of days for him to get used to the new flow speed... he may spill a bit out the corner of his mouth while he learns... I used to sit my DD a little more upright for the first few feeds with a faster teat to help her control it a bit better.

I wouldn't worry if he doesn't want to eat the moment he wakes in the AM... my kid always waited about 30 mins before she would eat happily.

I always changed DD when she had a bottle...  I never refused to change her during the night. 

I do wonder if the DF is disturbing his sleep... have you tried just leaving him until he wakes on his own to feed?

[fairypk]

Hmm dont think the DF is affectig his sleep because he sleeps without any sounds till at least 3/4 am.

[*Kara*]

DH and I are exhausted because of his stirring!!! It's not so much about waking up and giving him milk which takes 10-15 mins as much as the fact that he will stir even 1-2 hours after that!

Sorry, I read this to mean he stirs within an hour after the DF - was this after a feed at 3/4am?

And exactly what are your concerns right now? 

[fairypk]

Well he has been better last couple of nights. Last night gave him DF of 3.5 oz (he wouldn't have more) and he didn't make a peep till about 6 and he quickly he had 4 oz, put him back in his cot, he played and made noises for quite a bit but luckily fell asleep on his own after maybe 30-40 mins. Then he woke up promptly at 8 am and I brought him to the bed (its a Sunday) and he played for sometime but luckily fell asleep to wake up at 950 am when I changed him and he had 4 oz of milk. He slept later too at 915/930 pm so maybe that also contributed to late wake up. Either way at 6 and 8 am it looked like he wanted to play but he was yawning so we didn't give him much attention and eventually he fell asleep.

This kind of schedule works for me but he doesn't tend to stay asleep for long stretches especially in the morning.

The level 2 teats have definitely worked well because he is finishing his milk a lot faster.

Previously when I gave him milk at 4 am (he would have 2-3 oz) he would still wake up at 6 am then again at 630 am and 7am etc. Like I said he hasn't done that for the last 2 nights so am hoping there is a bit of change.

Kara mentioned stopping the DF, have been doing that for at least a month now so think he is used to it. How much should he have during his DF? I realize DF should be 3-4 hours before BT but considering we have to be up at 7am we like to go to bed ourselves by 11.

[Ima shel Alon]

You've received some great advice from many people . I do have a few thoughts and questions.

The stirring during the night might be gas and might be because of the DF, but could also be routine related. The waking at 6 is perfectly fine, but him playing after it in his cot makes me think that there is something off with his A time and his naps.
Consistency is generally very important when using EASY and BW, and very very important with A times. Most babies would have a similar A time throughout their day. Some prefer their first A shorter, some longer, some prefer their last A short and some long, but it would all pretty much be around the same length.
At 12 weeks you are looking at something between 1:15h and 2h (which would be a high A time needs baby). IIWY I would make my priority figuring out his appropriate A time. I would start with 1.5h A time ans stick to that throughout the day and no matter what. He might seem ready for his nap before but you'd need to be strong and think that in this case you know better than him what he needs. After doing the 1.5h A time for 3 days we can look at your logs and try to make some conclusions out of it.
Prepare yourself for getting short naps - it's all normal.
I must also say that I think your mid day long nap is contributing to the issues you are experiencing. I don't have Tracey's book next to me but she talks there how day sleep should be limited as well because it can steal from night sleep.

It sounds to me as if he doesn't really know yet how to fall asleep independently, am I right? If so then parallel to working on his A times I would work on teaching him how to be more independent sleeper. The best way to do that in this age is to have a proper WD (more about it here: What does a good wind down consist of (Includes 4S ritual)) and to use Shush-pat (more about it here: Shush-pat - How to). A baby who is dependent on a parent or a prop to fall asleep will not know how to settle back to sleep when waking up at night and early from naps, no matter how tired he is.
Consistency is key here as well - you need to do the same thing for every sleep so he has enough signs that sleepy time is coming. If you put him for one nap in the car seat, another nap in his crib and another in your bed (just as example) then he won't know where is his sleeping space. If for one nap you feed to sleep, for another you are rocking and for another nap you pop him in a sling - it's all going to be confusing for him. Babies need consistency.
I think you get my point, just do the same thing for every sleep so he can learn.

Like Kara said, try and offer 5-6oz at night even if you see that he is not drinking all. You always offer more than baby actually takes so he has the possibility to take as much as he needs. If he is draining bottles then it's a sign to increase the bottle volume again. The slow drinking can be either a slow teat or that he is not hungry enough. At this age I would space his feeds at least 3h and not offer a bottle in between because he will just snack and of course - use a faster teat which you say you already do.

HTH some.

[fairypk]

Hi,

Thanks for your help everyone. The level 2 teats are definitely helping. Yesterday he took 4 oz in 10 mins at 5 am and slept till 8. This morning he had about 3 oz at 5 am and woke up at 630, I brought him to bed and he slept till 8. However, both days when I offered him milk at 830 he took 2 oz. Day before he finished the remaining 2 oz by 930 but not today. I guess he is going through a GS.

I try and give him at least 4 oz during DF, some days he will have 3.5 and others he will have 5 oz.

Luckily he has stopped stirring so much at night and sleeps fitfully till at least 5.

He is 3 months and I never did shush pat so did some research on PU/PD and so far its working decently at night. Lights all switched off, he will make some noises (not crying) and then eventually fall asleep on his own. Luckily our naps have also become better! So overall I'm better too!

Just adjusting to his new milk requirements like yesterday at 5 pm he had 3 oz (made 4 oz) and the remaining oz at 6 then at 730 he drained another 3 oz and had another 2 oz at 830. So when he took his DF at 1020 he finished 2.5 oz quickly, I put him down and then 5 mins later gave him remaining 1.5 oz. So yesterday he had approximately 26-27 oz (a first)

Thank you so much for your help!

[Ima shel Alon]

Just adjusting to his new milk requirements like yesterday at 5 pm he had 3 oz (made 4 oz) and the remaining oz at 6 then at 730 he drained another 3 oz and had another 2 oz at 830.

I personally wouldn't have given him the rest of the bottle at 18, then another bottle at 19:30 and then another gain at 20:30 - that would encourage him to snack and not take full feeds when bottle is offered. Also with the DF if he stops taking then it means he doesn't need anymore.

PU/PD is used only with babies older than 4m and even then many babies find it OS. It's also meant as a last resort toll after shush-pat has been tried and didn't work.