PLEASE Need help.. desperate 45 minute naps/ late bed time

[CannonK02]

81/2 week old easy looks like this:  all naps he wakes at 45 min.  and sometimes shh/pat work.  I have tried wake to sleep with no success. If shh/pat doesnt work, then i use the moby wrap to extend the nap.  I have a 2 year old and I need to use the moby wrap when 2 year old wont let me shh/pat (he is very distracting for the baby).  I try to go by his sleep signs... naps he goes down pretty easy.  But he will yawn all evening long and will not fall asleep.  He does not have reflux, but does have some gas (I am dairy free now - EBF).  He wakes around 3-3:30 and i feed him.  He wakes again at 4, 5:30 and sometimes more.     

7 am - eat
8-815 - sleep
10 - eat
1115 sleep
1 - eat
1215 sleep
4 - eat
515 sleep...
I try to get him to sleep after he's been away about 1-1 hr 15 min... and no naps over 2 hours.

then in the evenings it gets really inconsistent... but even on days where he has only 3-4 45 minute naps or 4 2 hour naps + 45 min cat nap.... he wont go to bed before 11pm -1 am.  He's been awake about 3 hours now and I'm exhausted.    I think I am losing it.... How can I get him go to sleep at night (so I can go to sleep) and how can I get him past the 45 minute intruder (so maybe I could take a nap). 

[CannonK02]

Oh I wanted to ask about how long to shh pat. One time I shh pat after putting him to bed (9) and woke at 45 min..I did that for 1.15 hr then fed him. And he still resisted sleep at11 pm

[jessmum46]

You could try an extra 5 mins on his A time, at 2 months an average would be 1h15-20.  Just go slow and hold any changes for a few days before changing things again.  It may help with longer naps, but bear in mind short naps are also a developmental phase that most LOs will go through.  I think it's totally fine to do some naps in the moby wrap - things have to be different with a second LO as you can't be devoting hours on end to shh pat.  If you can try for a nap a day in the crib, then do what you need to for the rest, that's still great for this age .

With the evenings, in my experience it's very common for babies of this age to be alert, awake and difficult to settle in the evening.  Colic has a part to play, but just general fussiness seems to be very usual.  Add to that overstimulation (pretty inevitable, especially with a toddler running around) and it's a recipe for no sleep! I certainly remember being up until all hours with DD at this age!  But it did pass, and pretty quickly.  Things were a LOT better by about 11 weeks.  It may just be you need to ride this phase out and do what you can to get through the evenings.  DD spent a lot of time in a bouncy chair....

[CannonK02]

We are still having issues with 45 minute naps and late bedtime and his is now 12 weeks old.. maybe we can get one 1.5 hour nap out of him a day. We consistently tryng for an earlier bed time, however we are lucky if he goes down before 10.  If his last nap is a cat nap around 530-615... how do you manage a 10 bedtime - sometimes 1am...

1.  In the morning, he is yawning sometimes only after 30 minutes.  I try to extend his activity to 1hr 20-30 min.  and he always goes down pretty easy for naps.  sometimes he falls asleep as i am swaddling him. 

2.  Still lucky if one nap he makes it past the 45 min. mark. 
         Shh-pat works 1/10 times
         wake to sleep has worked maybe once (or once it was a coincidence)

3.  I am so confused about the evenings.. he will not go to bed at the same time.  Even if its late... its never the same.  Sometimes it's 10, 1030, 1 am...

4.  He wakes at night 1-3 times.  I am comfortable feeding him once a night, but when he wakes 1 hour later.. i know it cannot be because he's hungry. 


I'm practically in tears thinking that his lack of sleep is causing him brain damage or something. And sometimes both my husband and I are resentful.   is it possible that he's so overtired that he never catches up?  Should I let him sleep as much as he want in the morning?  put him down for his morning nap after only 45 min wake time?
 

[jessmum46]

(((Hugs))) the short nap phase is awful . It will pass I promise.  But I know it's not fun while you are there.  3-4 months is peak time for short naps so you aren't doing anything wrong, and LO certainly isn't doing it to spite you.  DD was a complete catnapper at that age, almost permanently OT, but now she is a fun, lively, inquisitive 18 month old and certainly hasn't been harmed by it.  Please don't feel guilty, you are doing LO no harm at all, it's just babies are hard work and they don't read the sleep books

Could you post a whole day in EAS format so I can see if there is anything obvious to tweak?

Do you shorten A times after short naps?

Do you know what personality he is?  He sounds like he may have some spirited traits....

Can he sleep well in the car or pram?  It really might be worth a day out (for your sake) just letting him sleep where and when he will, not worrying about the routine/nap lengths and just see what happens.  Or if you'd prefer, a day at home just following cues and ignoring the clock.  If he want a short A, let him have it and don't wake him.  Sometimes a day or two like that can just help reset and get things into perspective x

[CannonK02]

Thanks so much for your support!  My 1st son was SUPER Spirited (with reflux).. comparing the two... this one seems calm. But I remember my 1st was going to bed earlier at this age and we were doing dream feeds!   I'm lucky in that my 2 year old goes to school most days so I can sleep a little.  But I'm about to start work again.  My mom will be watching the newborn at first and it would just be nice to go to bed before 1 am!  We joke that he's like a college student...party all night and sleep all morning. 

Every time we put him to bed for the night, we wakes after 45 min... and shh-pat doesnt work for about 2 hours... it's exhausting.

He goes down pretty easy for naps, we use a pacifier but he doesn't seem to use it as a prop.  At night though, he acts like he wants to nurse to sleep.. which sometimes i'll do if it gets to late.  He'll spit his pacifier out at that time.  But if i let him nurse to sleep between 10pm-1am; he doesnt seem to eat much.. it just calms him down and he can nod off.   

Yesterday:
NF 200/530

Wake 830
E 830
S 10-1040 shh pat for 30 min. - seemed to have a bit of light sleep, woke when stopped patting

E 1110
S 1230-200

E 200

S 330-415 Shh-pat didnt work; acting hungry
E 430

S 550-630
Started bed/bath routine 730
E 815-
Tried to get to sleep from 830-1100
E 930
S 1100
NF at 430 this am

awake at 745... put down for 1st nap at 830 - rubbing face and yawning..

this is from wednesday:

NF 330

E 645
A 645 - 825
S 825-
   945

E 945
A 945-1055
S 1055
   1230

A 12:30 - 1:00
E 100
A 100 - 145

S 1:45-2:25 ssh-pat ... slept until 240; shh-pat and gave up at 3pm
A 3-400

E 400
A 4-415
S 4:15 (dog barked at 4:45 and woke up)... put in carrier at 5pm b/c shh-pat didnt work (kid will sleep in the carrier all night.... but too bad I can't sleep walk around all night)

E 7
bedtime routine: until 830- didnt go to sleep until 1030

E 930 - acting hungry
S 1030


Writing all that down makes my head spin! 

[CannonK02]

So the good news about today -  no 45 min. naps!  But he just woke after 45 min.  from putting him down for BT!  AHHH!

Here's today's EASY by following him and not the clock:

NF 430

E 747
S 830- 1040

E1044
S 1200-205
    Sleepy signs at 1130; didnt fall asleep so tried again at 12

E 211
S  318-436;  311 got hand out of swaddle; asleep at 318

E 519
S 548-658

E 818
S 840-921

Its now 950 and we are still trying to get him to go to bed... any suggestions?? He always wakes 45 min after putting him down for the night...

[jessmum46]

The thing I notice about the first two days that you posted is that a lot of his A times (especially those after short naps) are rather long for his age, so I would suspect OT has something to do with his difficulties settling at night time. 

The last day you posted - wow you must be great at following cues!  Some really good naps in there   I just wonder again if he was a touch OT by BT, his last A was 1h42 which would be on the long side for his age, and it wasn't after a full nap ('full' would be 1h30 or more).  Typically waking in the first hour or two after BT is related to OT (or discomfort - could that be an issue?).  How are you responding when he wakes?