5.5 MO, short naps ruining EASY

[Mandy.kamal]

I am posting this on the EASY forum, however, please let me know if I need to move to 'Naps' or even have it on both forums.

I made the 4 hour EASY switch and things were tough, but then was getting great naps and had a happier baby. For the past month, I must be doing something wrong...I cannot get DS to take consistent naps and its completely ruining our EASY. It has interfered with his night sleep a few times now because he's not getting great day sleep. Below please see our EASY routine today. It has looked similar to this for awhile now:

Woke at 7:00am (Wake up time is usually anywhere between 6:30-8:30am)
E 7:30
A (2 hrs 10 min)
S 9:10-10:45 (good nap)

E 11:15
A (2 hrs 5 min)
S 12:50-1:30 (He cried and fussed and I tried calming him- gave up at 2:30pm and just got him up)

E 3:00
A (not sure- don't know when to start A time from last bad nap??)
S 3:55-4:26 (woke up screaming and was way OT- I tried settling and even tried AP and nothing worked- gave up at 5:15)

E 6:30
A
S 6:55 (BT is usually anywhere between 6:00-8:00pm depending on naps during the day)

-Is he OT or UT at naps? I have tried playing with A time by moving it less than and more than 2 hours, but I've never had consistent progress
-DS is a mess by the end of every day and nighttime is usually chaos. He's not usually hungry by BT because he's OT and the distance in our E times get consistently shorter as the day goes on due to short naps
-Is it normal for LO to refuse to nap anywhere but the crib? Mine wont just fall asleep when he's tired. I HAVE to go through entire wind down routine and it must be very dark and with white noise in the room, etc. He will just scream and scream when he gets tired and refuses to sleep anywhere else (even with me on my chest). Any suggestions? Or is this just part of my DS personality? (He is very spirited and sensitive)

I apologize for all of the questions...this past month has been extremely rough and I'm beginning to get discouraged and seriously doubt my parenting abilities. I know I am doing something (multiple things) wrong and I am willing to do whatever it takes to help my DS get on a more consistent and predictable routine. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Any advice is definitely appreciated...

[Violet's mom]

I just went through something similar - is he breast or bottle fed?  I figured out through various wonderful ladies on here that sometimes breast fed babies need a little extra, sometimes my LO needs a little top up before her long afternoon nap, and I still have her on a 3 to 3.5 hr feeding schedule while trying to maintain a 4 hr activity and sleep schedule.  Do you feel it could be hunger related at all?  Just sharing what happened to me.

  Oh, and I just go with the flow and hope for a better nap later on - keeping a times to only about 2 hrs or less if she had a short nap.  I get the impression average a times are considered after a good amount of sleep.  Sometimes then she would "make up" her sleep in a later nap.  Or just go to bed really early like even 6:15 with the hope of starting fresh (although maybe early) the next day.

[Mandy.kamal]

Thank you so much for the quick reply and sharing your similar experience!
Unfortunately, I don't think it's hunger related. He is on formula and he can go 8 hours without eating during the night. I think our A times need tweaking but I can't seem to find one that works for him.

I completely know what you mean about just getting through the day and starting fresh the next day! It has been so rough that I can't wait until BT so I can relax and try again the next morning. Unfortunately, as the day progresses his naps get worse- harder to settle, seems OT and naps get progressively shorter.

I will try shortening A time after a short nap; I have been doing a bad job with that!

Thank you again for the advice and support!

[Violet's mom]

Yeah - sometimes she ends up with two short afternoon naps which I know aren't as refreshing but it helps bedtime not be such a nightmare!  Good luck!

[Mandy.kamal]

So I've been reading a lot of posts and info on this site and I am wondering if I need to start transitioning from 3 to 2 naps? I figured since I'm getting one good morning nap and the next two are basically catnaps, if I could consolidate those 2 small naps into one long one?? I need the experts advice on this please and if I should start the transition, what's the best way to go about it? My LO gets OS and OT so easily and only does well on 2 hours and 15ish mins of A time before a meltdown starts...

I will post today's EASY when BT comes around.

Thank you so much!!!

[Kiwi_one]

My wager would be on UTness at the beginning of the day turning into OT at the end. The solution to that would be pushing out the A times to get good naps. I don't think he's ready for 2 naps yet, especially with such low A times as he's at.

Spiriteds tend to higher A times for their age. My spirited girl was doing 2:15 at 4 months. We -- like others with spiriteds -- found that she was very specific on the A time and even 5 minutes difference either way could make it hard for her to settle. It didn't matter what kind of sleep she'd just had, she needed the exact same A time after. And her A time went -- not from eyes open to eyes shut -- but from when I went in to get her up to when I left the room for her next sleep. So those are some other possibilities to consider as you figure out how your LO works.

Spiriteds are very independent types and it's very common for them to resist APOP and need the dark and white noise so it's great you have all of that sorted

When he wakes are you sure he's crying out for you? A spirited's mantra is... passionate and can sound like just screaming but if you Stop and listen you can pick out its rhythmic nature. Spiriteds usually *hate* anyone trying to help them get to sleep -- either with a long wind down or by coming in to help them settle -- so it might be worth checking that you're not too eager to go in when he wakes mid-nap.

So I would suggest a consistent trial of higher A times for a bit. He may act totally exhausted and grumpy and not actually be ready for bed. IIWY I'd probably start by pushing the first A to 2:20, with the last 10-15 minutes very low key to avoid OS. Many spiriteds respond to walking around being shown things quietly. After 2-3 days of that, try another 10 minutes A. Spiriteds usually respond very quickly to just the right A time so you should know when you hit on it. If you get a good nap, I would try a longer A the next time too and see how the next nap is. But not the last A times. Most babies like a long last A but in my experience spiriteds need it super short to bedtime. I remember our last A was 45 minutes when the other As were 2:15 (when we started EASY). So don't try to push that one unless you get signs that BT is UT.

How is he doing with solids?

[Mandy.kamal]

Kiwi_one, you have no idea how much better I feel after reading your post. It is so refreshing to hear from a mom that knows what it's like to have a spirited one. Our LO sound exactly the same! People think I am crazy because I am constantly watching the clock, but if I'm off our A time by even a few minutes, DS looses it! He is definitely still acting tired and gets extremely grumpy around 2 hours or A time, but with the short naps and your advice, it is clear he does need more A time. Today went extremely well- I pushed for 2 hours and 15 mins of A time and got 2 great naps. He was OT by the catnap but he was able to get himself back to sleep (I may have let the catnap go a little too long but I let it slide today). Please see my EASY below and let me know your thoughts. Should I just keep with the 2 hr 15 min A time for a few days and then gradually move towards 2 hrs 30mins?

Woke at 7:00
E 7:30
A (2 hr 15 min)
S 9:15- 10:45 (He woke after 45 mins but was able to fall back to sleep quickly and did another 45 min)

E 11:30
A (2 hr 15 min)
S 1:00- 2:35 (He woke after 38 mins but quickly fell back to sleep)

E 3:30
A (1 hour 55 min) - acting very fussy and rubbing eyes so I didn't push the A time any longer
S 4:30-6:00 (He woke up after 30 min and fussed for 20 min but went back to sleep. I had to wake him at 6:00)

E 7:15
A (1 hr 40 min)
S 7:40

*Will DF around 10:30pm

I'll take any advice you're willing to give! Should I keep on slowly pushing A times? And should I focus on the first to A times and then later focus on pushing the last couple?

And you are completely right about APOP and spirited babies...there is absolutely nothing I can do to help him sleep! He is extremely independent and anything I try always worsens the situation! We you ever able to get your spirited one to sleep anywhere besides the crib and without the dark room and white noise??

Regarding solids- I have only just begun adding them into his diet. I have only given pears and rice cereal as of now and give him some an hour after his morning bottle and an hour before his bedtime bottle. I'm still a little confused on how to start adding solids and how much and when- but that's a whole different issue I may ask for your help on that as well once I get his naps fixed!

Thank you again!!! It is so nice of you to offer your support and advice!

[Violet's mom]

If I am reading correctly - he did great with your current A times right?  I would stick with them for a little while and then push them by only 5-10 minutes because it sounds your little man knows what he wants!  Although he still had to resettle himself after 45/38 minutes so maybe a little adjustment is needed (since the goal is for them to not even wake at that time)?  Glad you had a good day!

I'll be starting solids soon too!  Fun times!

[Mandy.kamal]

You were right!! He needed a tad more A time! I pushed it to 2 hr 30 min today and he stirred a tiny but at 45 mins but immediately back to sleep and is still asleep! I'm hoping he will go the full 2 hours! I'm ecstatic! I will just slowly keep pushing A time every couple of days unless I start to get OT naps. Will I need to phase out the catnap once his A times are longer and his 2 full naps are consistently 1.5 to 2 hours?

Thanks for your advice!!

Good lock with solids! It really is fun! Let me know how yours does

[Mandy.kamal]

I'm definitely going to need advice on the catnap! So DS woke up from his last nap at 4:00pm and it was almost 2 hours long. He is in a great mood at wide awake, but I don't want to start his CN too late and ruin his night sleep. I'm unsure if I should skip the CN when it's this late and do EBT or just really try to get him tired now and take a 30 ish nap? Ideally bedtime would be 8:00pm. Any suggestions please! Thanks ladies!

[Violet's mom]

My LO would do ebt but you know your ds - he prob wont go to bed until 8:30 or so if you do the catnap now.  You could do a 20 min refresher nap too!

[Mandy.kamal]

Thank you!!! He went down pretty easy and fell straight to sleep so I guess he did need the nap! Ill wake him up at 6:00 and try for 8:00 BT. I guess it's really all just trial and error mixed with knowing each LO personality! I appreciate all of your help so much!