Refusing bedtime bottle from Daddy

[Clairehv]

Hi
Our 24 week old daughter has been bottle fed since 6 weeks old. We are on a 4 hour EASY.
She always took a bottle from me or her Dad but as is normal I definitely did the majority of the feeds as I am on mat leave and I think we got into a habit of me doing the bedtime bottle unless I was out.
She takes around 7-8 oz and settles into her cot awake and goes to sleep with no fuss normally.
Two weeks ago Daddy started the bedtime feed, she took 3 Oz then glanced up at him and went hysterical.
I was do shocked that I went upstairs and when she was passed to me she stopped crying and took the rest of her bottle. For the last two weeks we have tried every night for Daddy to do the bedtime feed and she just cries.
He gives her bottles in the day fine.
Do we persevere? Do we leave for a while and try again?. Any advice? If its a phase and she will grow out of it herself that is fine but when I go back to work my husband is going to have to do bed time as I travel.
Thanks for any help. None of my bottle feeding friends have experienced this

[*Kara*]

I am a SAHM so did bedtime feeds as well... we got much the same response from DD if anyone other than momma did her feed too.. we just left it as it wasn't a bother for me... if I wasn't home though, she would take the feed no issue.

When do you go back to work?

[Clairehv]

I don't go to work for a few months but would really like the option of both of us being able to do bedtime sooner than that. I would like to go out occasionally

[*Kara*]

Have you tried having him give her the bottle with you in the room?

[Clairehv]

Hi
Yes we tried for 7 nights. We tried with me in the room, out of the room. My husband holding her whilst I held the bottle and him just sitting next to me.
She takes a bottle from him in the day just not at bedtime.

We are giving it a rest for a few days and then he is just going to do every feed at the weekend and I am not going to intervene. If she gets hungry enough I presume she'll take it!

[*Kara*]

You may be surprised at how stubborn she can be  

[Clairehv]

Ok. Any suggestions then on how to approach it. Do we just have to do cold turkey I.e me not go in at all or are there any other 'softer' approaches.

[*Kara*]

Let's see how she does first...

[Shiv52]

I think the best thing you can do is let DH get on with it if its his night. They need to work out their own way of doing things. Your DH will work out his own routine of comforting her and getting her settled to bed. My DD1 did this for months and I did a lot of rescuing in the first few weeks and I think had I not done that and let DH work through it, it wouldn't have lasted as long.

[Clairehv]

Thank you.
Kara when you have said lets see how she does' what do you mean? That we should continue to persevere ?

Erin, yes I think I am definitely going to have to be out of the way and just leave DH to it. He is fully up for trying and just dealing with the consequences but I would have to be out of the house as I don't think I could bear to listen!

[Shiv52]

If I were you I would go out. As bad as my DD was if I wasn't in she actually let DH put her to bed no bother. I wonder would your LO be the same?

[Clairehv]

We can keep our fingers crossed. The last time DH took DD up for bath and bedtime and I didn't even go upstairs. She was fine for him as normal throughout bath and dressing right up to the feeding stage. She started taking the bottle then stopped looked at DH and started crying. I left them 20 mins for him to try and settle her but in the end just went upstairs. She stopped crying as soon as he passed her to me. She finished her bottle and settled fine.
To be honest we didn't try again at the weekend as DH was going to be away for 4 nights so I thought if we are going to try he then needs to be able to do a few nights in a row.
Anyway here's hoping she decides that she is fine with him.

[Shiv52]

Fingers crossed. They are such funny wee things aren't they?  My DD1 was a total mummy's girl but my DD2 is a total daddy's girl. And she will not have a bar of me putting her to bed. She is asleep for DH in about 5 minutes. When its me it is an hour of nonsense!  DH is out tomorrow night and I've been dreading putting her to bed all week. And she's 2.5!

[*Kara*]

Kara when you have said lets see how she does' what do you mean? That we should continue to persevere ?

We are giving it a rest for a few days and then he is just going to do every feed at the weekend and I am not going to intervene. If she gets hungry enough I presume she'll take it!

^^  This   I would see how she does with him as her only source of food for a day and see if it changes her BT bottle reluctance.

Agree with Shiv - go out when he does BT.  She may be more willing to accept him if she knows you are not an option.

[Clairehv]

Hi Kara and Shiv,
Due to the awful weather over here I haven't been able to disappear out for BT but last night DH got the full bottle into DD before she cried and then I helped settle her before her did final cuddle and into cot.

Tonight he did everything and she settled fine in cot after a few cuddles from him. I stayed in room but didn't speak or interfere at all.

Tomorrow he is going to BT without me in room but fingers crossed she was just having a weird few days. Doesn't it feel like it will never end when you are living it though ?

Thanks for the advice I am sure I will be back x