PU/PD not working...help!

[Little M]

I've just started Tracy's E.A.S.Y. routine with my 14 week old baby.  She sleeps perfectly through the night in her crib but during the day she will not take a nap longer than 20-30 minutes.  She is used to someone holding, rocking, patting, pacifying and/or using the bouncy seat to get her to sleep.  We did not have a structured routine either.  However, now we have started the E.A.S.Y routine and we are on day 4.  I've am using the P.U./P.D. meathod along with the shh patting in between.  The problem is she never falls asleep and she fusses the whole time (not really cry).  The book says to PU PD when she cries but is that also for when she is just fussy? Do I just let her try and fall asleep on her own?  Also, what about if she never falls a sleep and you can tell she is so tired?  Do, I just pick her up after the end of her scheduled nap and start back with Eating and Activity?  If so, would I just feed her and change her diaper and then immediately start getting her back to sleep?  I'm so confused and desperately want this to work so that I won't be holding her all day long.  I know the biggest thing with me is consistency but with no naps during the day, it's making or an  awful night so I end up trying to soother her to sleep.  I hope someone has some advice.

Thanks,
Little M

[HudsonsMama]

Hi!  Our son is 5mo and at 4mo tried pu/pd for over a week to help him nap better.  Me and my husband were really committed and consistent for the whole week and wrote down everything to watch our progress...and saw none.  I know that pu/pd works for many many moms but not for us.  His naps actually started getting shorter (from 45 to 35).  I was so afraid of letting him cio that I never let him cry at all and never learned to distinguish between "mantra" cry and real crying.  We resorted to letting him cry more and that has helped him sleep better and helped us know when he actually need us and when he is just fussing for attention.  In the last few weeks I have learned to distinguish cries but it only happened after letting him cry for a while to hear the difference.
As far as your dilemma w/ pu/pd, I would recommend leaving the room when she is not really crying and just fussing (for ds it was more distracting to have mommy there and he would make crying sounds to get my attention) and only respond when it sounds real.  I really struggled with even letting him fuss (afraid he would feel abandonded) and that is probably why it didn't work for us but then realized if I responded to every sound, then that would be what he would expect and then everybody was worse off.
Hang in there and realize that every baby is different and you do know your baby best (I didn't believe that for a long time...you should see my stack of books on sleep strategies!) and hopefully some other mommies who were more successful with this method will give you some more direction.

[jsymes]

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I've just started Tracy's E.A.S.Y. routine with my 14 week old baby.  She sleeps perfectly through the night in her crib but during the day she will not take a nap longer than 20-30 minutes.  She is used to someone holding, rocking, patting, pacifying and/or using the bouncy seat to get her to sleep.  We did not have a structured routine either.  However, now we have started the E.A.S.Y routine and we are on day 4.  I've am using the P.U./P.D. meathod along with the shh patting in between.  The problem is she never falls asleep and she fusses the whole time (not really cry).  The book says to PU PD when she cries but is that also for when she is just fussy? Do I just let her try and fall asleep on her own?  Also, what about if she never falls a sleep and you can tell she is so tired?  Do, I just pick her up after the end of her scheduled nap and start back with Eating and Activity?  If so, would I just feed her and change her diaper and then immediately start getting her back to sleep?  I'm so confused and desperately want this to work so that I won't be holding her all day long.  I know the biggest thing with me is consistency but with no naps during the day, it's making or an  awful night so I end up trying to soother her to sleep.  I hope someone has some advice.
ALL I CAN SAY TO YOU IS STICK WITH IT WHATEVER YOU DO BECAUSE I AM ON DAY SIX OF DEALING WITH  SCREAMING CHILD AND PU/PD LOADS ALONG WITH PAT SHUSH AND I AM NOW ABLE TO PUT HER STRAIGHT IN AND PAT HER TO SLEEP VERY QUICKLY TOOK ABOUT 3 MINS AT BEDTIMETODAY).  I HAVE MY EVENINGS BACK AND AM WORKING ON EXTENDING NAPS WITH PAT SHUSH (WHICH HAS SUDDENLY AFTER 6 REALLY REALLY HARD DAYS OF COMPLETE CONSISTENCY STARTED TO WORK) AND I CAN'T TELL U HOW BRILLIANT IT FEELS.  U HAVE TO GRIT YOUR TEETH AND STICK WITH THE PLAN AND NEVER GO BACK TO SOOTHING TO SLEEP BECAUSE U ARE THEN BACK TO SQUARE 1.  HONESTLY I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD WORK BUT WAS DETERMINED TO GIVE IT A GO.  EVERY TIME I WANTED TO GIVE UP I REMEMBERED SOMETHING SOMEONE POSTED ON THIS SITE, SAYING THAT THEY DIDN;T WANT TO WASTE THEIR CHILDS TEARS, AND HOW UNFAIR IT WAS IN THE CHILD TO LET THEM CRY FOR 40 MINS AND THEN SUDDENLY CHANGE THE GOAL POSTS AND GO BACK TO THE OLD WAY AS IT TOTALLY CONFUSES THEM.....  BEST OF LUCK WITH IT - GOOD LUCK AND THINK HOW GREAT IT WILL BE WHEN YOU CRACK IT (WHICH YOU WILL!).
Thanks,

[jenapple]

Hi there!
Sounds like you're having a frustrating time!
If she is just 'fussing', you have to decide if she needs to be picked up. I sort of decided in my head that I would only pick up my son if she sounded 'distressed'. If it was just fussing, I would leave him in his crib and comfort him while he lay down ( I had him on his side and would pat/sh on his back and/or talk to him).

She WILL fall asleep at some point. So, if say she is supposed to nap at 10am. You start pu/pd. You continue for 40 min. Take a 5-10 min break. Go back and continue for another 40 min. Continue this pattern until she falls asleep or until the next feed time. If she hasn't fallen asleep by the next feed time, feed her (taking care she doesn't fall asleep while eating), change her and go right back to pu/pd. Feeding and changing becomes the A time. Keep doing this until she falls asleep. If she falls asleep 20 min before the next feed time (or some other interval), you should wake her up to feed her. Sounds CRAZY I know, after you've just worked so hard to get her to sleep, but you will need to keep her on schedule.

Please read this over as well as my sticky post on pu/pd with a 3 month old and feel free to email me if you have any questions. I'm more than happy to help!