1 yo refusing food at nursery

[Buntybear]

My DS has recently started nursery but is refusing to eat anything but fruit. He largely eats finger foods at home but at nursery they seem to put the food in a bowl and expect them to eat with a spoon or spoon feed them.

I have bought a bib like theirs (pelican style), some more cutlery to practice with and will try making some meals similar to theirs.

I understand that this is a transition for him and hopefully he will improve but was wondering if anyone had any words of advice or any BTDT??

[*Liz*]

My DS hardly eats a thing at nursery - if it isn't familiar he won't eat.

That said he sometimes eats things there that he would never touch at home, usually the pudding though 

Is your DS doing full or half days?

Is there anything you could get nursery to do to make it more like home? J takes his mama bear lovey and she helps him eat his food!!!

[Buntybear]

He is there full days and so missing 3 meals  he doesn't have loveys or anything he takes comfort in. He starts his proper 3 days next week (did 1 last week, 2 this week). If by the end of next week it hasn't improved I will speak to them but I don't think they can accommodate anything too particular for him.

[lilly_kitt]

Hi

Tyler will also only eat finger food, our nursery have now started doing the same food as the other children but as finger food and leaving him to it, for example yesterday he had sticks of cooked potatoe, fish fingers and peas.  All of which he can feed himself.  He's getting better with a spoon, but this way he eats more.  Have you spoken to them about maybe trying this ?  Before they did this Ty was eating nothing there.

Sarah
x

[*Liz*]

He probably needs a bit more time as well honey - I think it was after about 4 weeks that J started to entertain the idea.

PP makes a good suggestion though - I wish J could just be given dry finger food versions.

[Buntybear]

They sit at a little table on chairs and so I think finger food is hard. Esp with all his allergies.

[KathrynK]

I think give it a couple weeks before you start to really worry- just offer a big snack when you get home in the meantime. Kids this age don't starve themselces, they eat what they need to get by. Also he will learn to copy what the other kids are doing xxxx

[Buntybear]

lol when he gets home he will eat the amount of lunch and dinner combined! Not waking at night for food though - phew 

He actaully feed himself some porridge with his spoon this morning so already progress in coping better at nursery.

[kiansmam]

i had the same problem with kian. I use to send my own food in for them to warm up. They would offer theirs first and if he was not interested they would give him what i took in.

He now eats the same as the others. It just took him sometime to get use to it x

[jesie]

I agree with pp's about it raking time to adjust etc but I don't agree with them not helping him.

DS is the same age as your DS and he likes to use try with his spoon and fork and he can feed in self some, but no where near all.
I personally would hold the staff responsible and make it clear he needs help.

If they helped him and he still refused, then that's a different story.

[Buntybear]

So olly is still not eating at nursery. Talked about it again with them today and it seems their opinion is that he is playing us is he refuses food mushed/chopped in a bowl as he knows we will give in and offer finger foods in the end. I think they want me to offer him food in a bowl and if he refuses not give him anything else.

Is he old enough to be playing us like that?

I have tried to offer a bowl today. He cried as soon as he saw it so I have taken him back out of his highchair and will try again in a bit. I surely can't refuse a 13 month old food when he also missed his lunch??

[charmie]

I don't think at this age they are manipulative in that way.  However, they are very smart.  They know that if they hold out eventually they will get what they want...in this case the finger food.  And you can't really blame him for trying   After all that's what he's used to.  I think the transition should be more gradual for him.  Can they really not offer him any of their food to eat with his hands for now?  I'm sure eventually he will want to experiment with the cutlery too.

When my dd started going to nursery at around 18months she wouldn't eat anything either.  The carer used to offer the daily meals, and then as a 2nd option they were offerring pizza which she was holding out for.  Then I asked them not to offer pizza anymore, and eventually she started eating what was on the menu.  But she was going only twice a week.

I would have another talk with them and try to find a compromise. 

xxx
charm

[jesie]

Could you try the spoon fed food in a more comforting way like sat on your knee? As soon aa he takes it, put him next to you, then back in the chair (iyswim) that way, he will see it is ok to eat off the spoon.

I do agree that they are manipulative and very clever, even at this age, but you need to find the happy medium here, yes he is the child and should do as he's told. But actually he is a little person, with thoughts and feelings and there us something making him not like the spoon, so that needs to be addressed.
Missing lunch is one thing (i hope he has a nice big snack to fill him later) but I also agree missing two meals isn't on, he needs his fuel.

I would start small. Offering him a couple of spoons of something on your lap, then into the chair for his "normal food", then over time move him away from you and into the chair... and building up the amount of spoons you give him, until... he's spoon fed the whole meal.

It may be an independence thing for him, for all of this time he has been feeding himself, then all of a sudden he is being fed, with a weird object. So give him a spoon too. He may not even attempt to use it straight away, but let him realise, he will soon be able to feed him self still, just with the spoon.

[Buntybear]

Thanks I don't think it is the spoon as he will eat porridge, yoghurts etc himself. In fact today they pursed his fruit as a trial and his mouth opened straight away for the spoon. They said it was the first time they have ever been able to feed him.

So I tried him twice tonight with beef and sw pot. In the chair and on my knee but he inconsolable. So I chopped up chicken and avocado (his staple finger foods) and he was happy to be spoon fed these. I added a bit of mashed sw pot and he would spit it out. 

Plus it isn't really the case we give into him. We just give him finger foods as that is what he likes. I thought we were doing really well that he was feeding himself!

[jesie]

Ummm... that is funny, I may be inclined to agree more with manipulation theory then. If he can and will eat with a spoon, both being fed and eating independently, then there should be no problems.... unless.... are they different/new foods that he is trying on the spoon? Or if not new in a different texture? Could he be weary of trying new foods? And he does not realise that they are familiar to him, just presented differently?