Feel like its all starting to go wrong, any advice welcomed

[daisymelan]

Hi Mumma

Just wanted to add something that worked for us.  My partner was always out late so we adjusted by having our little boy get up a bit later and have a later bed time.  It may take awhile to get her to that, but you could adjust the entire routine by a few hours. 

Just food for thought as it seems it's really important to you for them to spend some time together.

Unfortunately, many families have been in your situation before.  But what's most important is that the little one gets the rest she needs so she's a happy baby when her and dad get to spend time together.  (and for your sanity! haha)

Thanks for updating us.... and no, you are not alone.

[FlossieŠ]

Thanks Daisymelan, I think that could work.....later to bed and then later to rise, I think I might have to go with this idea. 

[chell]

Good idea Daisymelan, I was about to post something similar too! 

[chell]

Is everything ok? Let me know.

[FlossieŠ]

Hello!  thanks for asking after me. Hope you are ok.  Yep everything is going great, I feel totally liberated!  The last 2 nights DD has woken only twice at 1.00 and at 5.00 (the same as the previous 3 nights) I have given her the dreamfeed as Daisymel suggested and so I have refrained from feeding her when she wakes during the night, just sssh/pat. She's only taking at most 30mins each time (sometime much less, like 5 mins!) and then she has then slept on until 7. Her sleeptime is still at 8.00pm so this is only slightly early for waking, but I can work on that.  Breastfeed is before bathtime, then a massage and then a story from DH. I then just place her in the cot and she makes only a slight moan before turning round and sending herself off to the land of nod.  DH saw this for the first time last night and was amazed! Is this the same baby who couldn't stand going anywhere near her cot and would bawl as soon as she realised where she was on waking (on the rare occasions that she slept in there!). It really is just so amazing and this is after less than a week, things can only get even better!  Quite often in the night now I hear her wake and have a little moan and then.....silence and she's in dreamland again....all on her own!  Amazing!

Daytime naps are going well, but I still need to work on them, they are ranging from an hour to an hour and a half, hour ones normally in the afternoon and the first one of the day is usually a good one of an hour and a half.  (Before they were generally averaging 45mins so this is a big step).  She's generally more difficult to settle off for daytime naps, its like she's fighting it but I know she's tired, so I just keep picking up and putting down and she soon realises that mummy's going to win this one!

Meal times are fun once again, she is eating much more than before (that 8th tooth is through now - she now has 4 on top and 4 on bottom, so I think this may have had something to do with the lack of appetite) and because I've been sleeping better, dispite the 2 awakenings (no little feet kicking me in the tummy, and constant feeding through the night), I have a million times more patience and can keep feeding time upbeat and fun.  As soon as her hand goes up and her head starts shaking I just say "ok you've had enough" and leave it.

I feel that she may be a happier baby right now, she generally is less grizzly and I feel that I can work her needs out far more. I can't thank you and Daisymel enough, it really has been wonderful having your advice and support.

Here is her routine at the moment, like I say I think it needs a bit more work but this is it for now.

S
E - 7 am wake - bf
A
E - 8.00 - breakfast
A
S - 9.30 - 11.00
Y - (I've discovered the joys of reading a magazine and having cup of tea again!)
E - 1.00 - lunch
A
S - 2.30 - 3.30
Y
E - 3.30 BF
A
(S? I've been thinking of maybe introducing a short sleep here even if its half an hour what do you think?)
E - 5.30 Dinner
A
E - 7.00 - BF
A - Bathtime, winddown story
S - 8.00
E - Dreamfeed around 11.00pm
(currently waking at 1.00 and then 5.00)
Wakes  - 7.00am

Please do let me know your thoughts, I can't believe its only been a week. I can still work on this.  I can't tell you how chuffed I am with myself, such a sense of achievement.  Feel like things were just landing wherever they fell before.  Now I feel like I'm the one in control and Isabella is definitely feeling that too, I've no doubts about that.
Have reserved the book at the library, waiting for them to call to tell me when its in, so looking forward to reading that during my 'you time'!!

Thanks once again
t-mumma xxx

[daisymelan]

Thank you for updating us.  It is so wonderful to hear successes.  You have come so far in such a short time, I'm just beaming for you.  I bet everyone is grateful for the time you have been putting in, and hte results are happy mama, daddy and a beautiful happy little girl!!!! 

I think the routine you have posted is fine.  I think once you get to read tracy's book you will become more confident in the routine and things will settle even more.

Just a quick question, are you nursing her when she wakes those two times at night?  If not, you are a huge success story.  I bet you can't believe what's happening.  I remember that my confidence as a mama went up so much after I read BW.  You haven't even read the book, but what you have implemented has given you so much more energy.  What a treat.  ANd those teeth can be hard for those los.  Happy to hear she's eating better now.

As for the 3rd  nap... generally at your los age they are down to 2 naps.  If you feel she needs it, then go ahead and give her a half hour cat nap or something, but I think more importantly, you should work on lengthening the first 2 naps.  That will stretch everything out a bit.  But you have undertaken a lot in the past week so chose your battles and eventually you will have it all smoothed out. 

I think I'm going to save this thread as well so I can share it with other mamas who are seeking help.  I find the inspirational stories really help a desparate mama. 

Again, I'm very happy for you and all the work you have put in.  You deserve to selfishly indulge in all the Y time!!!!!!!!

[chell]

    WOW WELL DONE T-MUMMA   

You have done so well. I too remember having those similar feelings. It is just so empowering, when you have the knowledge to put things right. You sound so much more confident . I think Daisymelan's advice is good.

Keep up the good work and indulge yourself in your well earned YOU time!

Chell xx

[FlossieŠ]

  Thank you both for all your help and posts.

Things just keep getting better....

Last night she went from 8.00pm - 6.00am (with just 1 dreamfeed at 11.00pm and I only needed to go in once and literally as soon as I picked her up, gave her a quick squeezey cuddle and then put her down, she was out again like a light!), the rest of the night I could hear her waking up and going back on her own.

Last night I read the whole of this thread again, I can't tell you what a desperate state of affairs I was in at the beginning (just a week ago!!).  I really hope that if any mums read this that they can take a bit of inspiration from this.  It works!!   

Thank you again Chell and Daisymelan, the help and time you, and all the other moderators are giving us mums (and maybe some dads, not to mention the babies!) is truely selfless and amazing. I think I speak for everyone of us out here when I say thank you from the bottom of our hearts