So tonight is the night. My LO (Josie) has been waking 1-3 times a night for awhile now. I got into the bad habit early on that I would always nurse her when she woke at night. I justified it because she always went right back to sleep without a peep. Well, if she was only waking once a night I would probably just live with it until she just grew out of it. But she's been consistently waking at least twice a night, sometimes three times a night the past 2-3 months and honestly, I'm just exhausted and want/need really, to sleep.
So this coming week both my DH and I are off work and we've been planning for the last three weeks that this week would be the sleep training week. I am determined to succeed but I have mixed feelings about the way we go about it. I'm definitely NOT doing cry it out in the most traditional sense. However, we all know that there is no sleep training with NO crying. So I was just looking for a little support as we do this.
A little background:
-Josie can fall asleep at nap times and bedtime on her own, however, I do nurse her right before her sleeping times. She is awake 95% of the time when I lay her down and oftentimes rolls around and plays before falling to sleep.
-I work 12 hour shifts so when I'm working, my husband puts her to bed and he gives her a bottle then. Again, she is always awake when he lays her down (she really doesn't like the bottle all that much but tolerates it from him.) but she falls asleep on her own.
-Josie usually sleeps from 8:30pm to 7 or 8 am. She usually naps twice a day for about an hour or so each nap. She usually wakes at night between 11pm and 1am, then again between 4a and 6am.
-I have tried letting her fuss a bit at night before going to her (up to 10 min) but she just gets gradually louder and louder and more upset the longer I wait.
-a few times she has woken up only an hour or so after bedtime and I know she got enough to eat before bed so I have tried to resettle her without nursing and she just gets MAD. Those couple times I just held her right at her crib side (no bouncing or rocking) and just waited for her to calm down. That took at least 20-30 minutes of her screaming bloody murder in my ear until she quieted enough for me to lay her down. Then I laid her down and she fussed a bit more but finally fell asleep. Both times she ended up waking again after another hour and I just ended up nursing her at that point. I'm sure this is a preview of what I can expect during this sleep training.
My doctor has said it is fine (and encouraged) to stop the night feedings at this time. So that is the goal.
Here is her basic EAS plan but it's really more like AES (I know, I know...bad).
Wake/Nurse: 7:00
Nurse: 9:45
Sleep: 10:00-11:00
Nurse: 11:00 (not usually a long session)
Eat: 1:00pm
Nurse: 2:45pm
Sleep: 3:00-4:00pm or 4:30
Nurse: 5:00 (usually not for long)
Eat: 6:30pm
Nurse: 8:00pm
Sleep: 8:30pm
(I don't always nurse after a nap, just if I think she didn't get enough (wasn't that hungry) before her nap.)
So my plan for tonight is to completely stop all night nursing until 5:00am. I will make sure she eats well before I lay her down for bed (maybe even offer an additional bottle to top her off.) Then, when she wakes, I will go to her but not nurse her. I'll just talk to her and tell her it's not time to wake up yet and that it's sleepy time. I will play her glow seahorse (which I have been working on getting her attached to and it's going pretty well).
This is where I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure if I should leave the room and let her cry, possibly go in at intervals, or stay and offer verbal support while she is crying.
Sometimes at nap time she resists briefly and will cry. I always just play her seahorse and leave the room. She never cries more than 2-3 minutes. So she's used to that but I know she will be a LOT more upset because she won't have a full tummy and the comfort that comes from nursing beforehand.
I don't mind staying and just offering verbal, comforting support, but I'm not sure if it is going to prolong the crying episode and end up being harder for her in the long run.
I'm prepared to stay in there all night if I have to but I just want to do the right thing for her. This is so hard...
Once we hit 5:00am (at least the first night) I will nurse her when she wakes up but I turn the lights on as if it is time to wake up. (I usually nurse her in a bed right in her room.) I may just let her stay up at that point and attempt an extra nap. I will gradually move that 5:00 am time later and later through the week. Obviously if she ends up sleeping later on her own, I wouldn't wake her. That 5:00 is just going to be my cutoff point as to when I will nurse her. I just don't want it to be a "nurse and then back to bed" event because I'm trying to break her of that habit.
Any thoughts before tonight?