Please Help!

[melbrad]

I am at a loss as to what to do.  My dd is still waking at 12:30 and 3:30.  She also woke last night at 5:30.  I do a DF at 10:00 and cluster feed at 6 and 8.  I reswaddles her at 1230 and she went back to sleep.  At 3:30 I fed her.  She fed for about 8 minutes.  Come 5:30 I just let her cry for 10 minutes and she fell back to sleep.  I know you aren't to do that, but we've been trying this DF going on 2 weeks and we both get less and less sleep.  She's on a routine during the day, feeding every 3-3 1/2 hrs.  takes great naps (usually gets 4 hrs. total during the day.  I'm going to drop the DF and replace those ounces with her 6 and 8 cluster if she will do that and see how she does.  Since sleeping through the night is a calorie thing, should I try and give her a bottle after I breast feed her during the day?  She's 11 weeks old.  I had her weight checked yesterday and gaining about 6 ounces a week.  I'm feeling very inadequate,like I'm doing something wrong.  I read and I listen to cues , and etc, and it seems the more I do, the worse it is getting.

[Shdef]

The DF makes my DS wake up at night, too. If I don't DF, he will sleep 12 hours, if I do, he will wake up at 5.30. Don't know why but we stopped it when he was 3 months and he didn't even notice. I do add some hypoallergenic baby oats and rice to his last bottle though...

[LucyA]

We have never tried a df, so no advice regarding that, but do you think your dd is maybe just not ready to drop the night feeds? My ds is 6.5 months and still feeds at around 10/11pm and 3/4 am. Are the night feeds much shorter than her daytime feeds?

[15milner]

Sorry - don't have much time - a couple of thoughts.

2 night wakings at 11 weeks is still normal.
At 11 weeks our feeding / sleep went all over the place - you are heading for a 3 month growth spurt - that could be the reason.
I would not recommend adding anything to the diet as baby's digestive systems aren't built to deal with anything other than milk at such an early age.  

Alex

[Shdef]

Every baby wakes at night, just the settling himself is difficult. My DS chatters to himself twice a night but doesn't want me interfering...

[squeaky's mum]

Hi There,

It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job to me. My dd is breastfed, although at 8.5 months she is now on solids too and has put a steady 5oz a week pretty much since her birth. I was also going to mention the 3 month growth spurt. Hang on in there with the breast feeding, I am sure you can provide your daughter with everything she needs at the moment. It is so worth it in the long run.

I have also experienced a fair amount of sleeplessness with Sophie (and am still doing so). All I can say is that since I stopped expecting dd to sleep though my ability to cope with it has got much better. I think most parents have sleepless or sleep interrupted nights at some stage. If you are lucky it won't last very long.

Good luck

[daisymelan]

I wouldn't top up your lo with a bottle.  That will only start to diminish your supply.  If your lo is 11weeks, as other posters have mentioned, she will be going through a growth spurt very soon.

And as the other posters have mentioned, two night wakings at that age are perfectly normal.

It is ok to let your lo fuss to settle themselves back down, but as Tracy has said, if you allow your lo to cry, it breaks trust.  I understand that you are sleep deprived and we've all been there.  I'm sure you know your lo well enough to know if it is a cry or a fuss. 

HTH

[Samuel's mum]

Hey! Stop thinking you are doing something wrong and look at this poll immediately!

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=55035.0

15.4% of babies were sleeping 8 hours+ at 3 months!!!!

Your LO is completely completely normal. I would suggest you lower your expectations a little bit - unless you think those of us who responded to the poll are a bit barmy!

I really would advice you to remain breastfeeding as much as possible if you can as there are clear long term health benefits. The more bottles you add will affect your supply. Bottle fed babies sometimes also have more difficulties with wind even if it is ebm.

Here's another - more official study:

In this study, part of the Avon Longitudinal Study of Pregnancy and Childhood (ALSPAC), researchers surveyed the parents of 640 babies. Some of the results:

Only 16% slept through the night at six months old -- 84% were not sleeping through the night at 6 months
17% woke more than once per night, ranging from twice to eight times
5% woke once every night
9% woke most nights
50% woke occasionally
16% of six-month-olds had no regular sleeping pattern


And another to show things are always going to improve in the way we expect:  Scher A. A longitudinal study of night waking in the first year.
Child Care Health Dev 1991 Sep-Oct;17(5):295-302.

Abstract: A longitudinal study of the development of sleep patterns addressed the issue of continuity and change in night waking in the course of the first year. Mothers of 118 infants, who took part in a follow-up study of normal babies, completed a sleep questionnaire at 3, 6, 9 and 12 months. Regular night waking was a common characteristic throughout the first year:

Baby's age % babies waking at night
3 months 46%
6 months 39%
9 months 58%
12 months 55%


What I'm basically saying is that 'yes, it sucks that you are being woken up'. However you are not alone and in the grand scheme of things the fact that your baby is breastfed and nutured is going to mean a lot more. This phase will pass. There are things you can do as the sleep boards will tell you but acceptance of what is normal may also help you to move forward. I'm not sure how much posting you have done on the sleep boards. You are right to mention that the 'baby whisperer' philosophy wouldn't recommend leaving a baby to cry for ten minutes. I know we all get desperate and please don't think I don't sympathise but you may find other sleep suggestions that really work for you. Good Luck. These few months will whizz by and before you know it you will have a little girl not a baby. please enjoy them.

[Shdef]

Samuel's mum, that's a great answer, wonderful. As a statistics fan I can really see that I am just lucky... But I know our next baby will be a girl, propably colicky, relfuxy and not sleeping htrough early and maybe even a bit grumpy. I am not even pregnant yet

[melbrad]

Thanks!  My family keeps telling me to let her make her own routine and keep her up during the day and that I'm letting her sleep too long.  She takes 3 naps a day ranging from 1 1/2 hrs to 2.  Her total napping time is about 4-5 hrs.  Is this good?  Do I need to keep her up more?  My family (sister and mother)do not approve of me keeping her on a routine and with it not working, I'm starting to question myself.  Not to mention my nerves are shot 

[LucyA]

I think the thing to remember is that although it's a routine, it can be flexible, and if it's not working, maybe things do need to change. But I don't think the fact that your lo is waking at night necessarily means the routine isn't working. 
Btw, if you keep her up during the day, how is that letting her make her own routine?
It sounds to me like you're doing a wonderful job with her, and I hope you can find a way to enjoy this precious early time with your lo.
{{hugs}}

[melbrad]

Thanks!  She's been asleep now for 2 hrs, do I let her sleep or wake her?  These are the things I have trouble deciding what to do?

[Samuel's mum]

People who do EASY are forever being told that they are letting their baby sleep too much so people on these boards are used to that criticism! Being well-rested can often mean a better night's sleep.

Have a look at this:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=3195.0

She's completely completely normal (again)!

I would suggest you consider what she's been doing that morning. If it's been very stimulating - let her sleep a little longer. You could rustle next to her and see if she's sleeping lightly!

[beccarman]

thank you samuels mum!!!!! reading your replies has made me feel a bit better, my dd is still not sleeping through the night (last night she was up 4 times) but reading that 55% of babies at 12mths are still waking at night is really reassuring. i keep thikning shes nealry 1 this has got to stop!!!! it will i'm sure...i'm trying to convince myself here.

melbrad - its is horrible i know but bfing your LO is such a lovely thing to do so as long as you're happy doing it carry on with it. i hope you've found a bit of comfort from some of the stats and that things pick up soon...keep us posted.