Pls Help scheduling 9-month old

[sadiebean]

Ok, I am desperately trying to program my 9-mo-old to take regular, long naps.

I am confused about what Tracy says to do on one point -- he went down for a nap at 9:20 (woke at 6:50) and slept for one hour and 10 minutes. I got him up, though I believe he could benefit from another 10-30 minutes, but pu/pd seemed silly for that amount of time. (am I wrong?) So that was 10:30.

Knowing him, I knew he'd be tired after 2 hours, though that would only take us until 12:30. Sure enough, he is very sleep right now. And in the sleep interview, Tracy says to ignore the clock and put him to bed (p15, robbing peter...) However, in the book she says to watch the clock for the first few days and to keep the baby up until the next nap, which for a 9-mo-old seems to be 1pm at the earliest (or else he'll need an afternoon nap).

Should I put him to bed when he's tired? (12:30)
Keep him up till 1:00, and hope he goes down for a catnap in the early evening since that will be a huge stretch until bedtime (between 7-8pm)?
Keep him up until 2:00 which is what the norm seems to be for his age, and what would allow him to stay awake w/o a catnap?

When he is overtired, he is very hard to get to bed. And his afternoon naps are near to impossible, I've been fighthing this battle for months. TWO afternoon naps... well, that would be a miracle.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I am desperate.

Thank you for any help!!

[Meg's Mom]

Hi
I think the difference between this:

Tracy says to ignore the clock and put him to bed (p15, robbing peter

and this:

in the book she says to watch the clock for the first few days and to keep the baby up until the next nap

is "for the first few days".  I would guess that in the book she is referrring to getting the baby on EASY or moving from 3 to 4hr or sorting out nap troubles.  That would be my guess.  Does that make sence?

Should I put him to bed when he's tired? (12:30)

how long did he sleep for at this nap?

Does he or will he take the cat nap?  I am guess not from what you posted. 

If you can clarify that for me, i'll see if we can help.

[sadiebean]

Yes, that makes sense -- I decided to keep him up until 12:50, and he went down fine. I stayed and helped him sleep (heavy hand on belly) and his nap lasted an hour.

I decided to try pu/pd to extend past the hour -- maybe not such a good idea if he's already slept that much? I know he needed more, but is there a cut off time, where they get enough sleep that they're just not going to go back to sleep again? As usual, pu/pd resulted in hysteria. At 35min I cut it off, and brought him downstairs so he could cool off.

I gave up for the day, I admit. Just defeated, and needing to get out of the house. (I am getting over the flu, and needed some fresh air -- maybe not the best day to start this! but there never seems an ideal day, so I figured let's just do it.)

It is very unusual for him to go down for a catnap -- and if he does, it's maybe 20 minutes. I knew that yesterday he would not, after screaming so much in his room (sure enough, he screamed for an hour straight going to bed... bad associations...)

[bsparki73]

Hi there,
Just thought I'd let you know that you're not alone with sorting out a 9month old! Read the thread under this 'naps' section 'From 3 naps to 2'....there's a lot more chat about this exact thing you're going through!


Oscar won't take the catnap either so I've been trying to stretch his A time. I think the trick as well is not to stretch it out too long too quickly? (ie extend by 15 mins at a time for a few days then 30 mins etc etc). I still haven't got it all worked out....he napped perfectly yesterday (9.30am & 1.30pm but he did sleep for 1 & 1/2 hours) but then won't go down at bedtime!!!

I think it is a hard age....there's so much going on!

Good luck...just wanted you to know you're not alone! I know what you mean with PUPD after they've been asleep for an hour.....I wouldn't bother with Oscar either....maybe once you start stretching him out he will sleep longer?

[sadiebean]

Never occurred to me to read that thread -- will do, thanks!!

Today he slept for 1hr10 (1st nap) and then for 35min (2nd nap)... tried pu/pd for that nap and again, hysterics. Seems the only thing it results in is a WORSE time putting him to bed the next time (as he associates crying w/his crib.) 

At least this time my timing was better -- I kept him up 3 hrs w/quiet A time before his second nap, including a nice walk in fresh air. AND he went down for the second nap, which is not all that usual, so I will chalk that up as a success!

Question: If pu/pd never results in baby going to sleep, how is it that each day will get better? what lesson are they learning from day to day, if in the end they are so hysterical and/or it has gone on so long, that you must leave the room w/them to comfort them? And if returning to the room in 20min as Tracy says to do, only results in immediate continued screaming?

It is this that so discourages me when trying to extend naps -- the real doubt that he is learning anything from it, other than "bed=crying"...

[Meg's Mom]

for that second nap why don't you try awake to sleep...i have always had good success w/ it.  I was helping a mom this week w/ her LO who NEVER took more then a 30min in 6mos and today, by using this method, he took 2 - 1hrs naps!! 

I posted how i do it here:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=43311.0

This may not be BW'ering, but i agree w/ you on the pu/pd - maybe this is the tech for you and your LO.

Let me know if you have any questions.

[sadiebean]

wake to sleep is actually my preferred method, and the only one I've seen success with -- makes me feel better I'm not alone!! I only tried pu/pd again b/c I thought maybe I hadn't given it a fair shake and/or was missing something... but no, I just think it does not work for him.

Yesterday he slept 1hr 15min in the afternoon with wake to sleep -- we're making progress!!!

[Meg's Mom]

Yes that is progress!  Have you tried gradually extending his A time?  At this age that is the common cause of the short napper.

Wake to sleep - I wrote this also if it helps:
Here is how i have always done awake to sleep and it has worked for us:
1st time when my LO was 4mo and started the 45min naps - I would set my timer and when she stirred I would slip in the paci and pray she went to sleep.  I did this for every nap for 2 weeks!  It worked about 50% of the time and if it didn't I used shh/pat to try to get her back to sleep.  Which also worked 50% of the time.  The other % I had a sore back and tired baby :? .  I set my timer (for 30min if your LO wakes then) and crept into dc room.  I had a drawer full of paci's so I didn't have to dig in the crib for it.  As soon as dc stirred, I lightly put the paci to dc lips.  Dc took it, I would move out of sight and sometimes dc would right back to sleep.  If dc opened dc eyes and saw me, forget it.  I would have to do shh/pat for 15-30mins to get dc back to sleep.

2nd time I used was at age 7mo - she was waking at 4am (or something like that) out of habit.  I set my alarm for 3.45am for 3 days and it worked.  I would quietly go in, put her swaddle just enough so the stirred, NOT wake her up completely.

3rd time was when we moved to the 1 nap and she took a 1hr 15min nap, same length as her previous am nap.  It worked immediately and I did it for 3 days (as described in the announcement - wake to sleep).  This time i gently pulled her lovey just enough so that she stirred and rolled over.