support needed for 7 month waker

[BellaBlu]

I was satisfied when my 7 month old would wake up, nurse and then go right back at around 4 am. She'd sleep a couple of hours more after that.
Now she is not going back so easily.  After i put her back after a brief nursing, she's irate and wont go back to sleep.   I've been leaving her cry for 3 hours sometimes.  I'll go back (after 3 hours or so) and nurse her, usually back to sleep.  I know what I'm doing wrong but those 3 hours are brutal.  I want my good sleeper back and i need support (other than my snoring husband).

[snowhite704]

Hi, I am new to this website and still reading Secrets of the Baby Whisperer...wish i had know of it when i was pregnant. My 8 month old girl is still waking up 3 times and sometimes more...I have tried a few things, but nothing has worked. She will only falls sleep after bf. She doesn't take the bottle either. The only time she eats decent is between 4 and 5:30 p.m.  I am still trying to get her into the E.A.S.Y. routine....but she still eats before every nap...at this point my husband and i have don't know what else to do.
-She goes to sleep at 7 p.m. after playing w/dad, bath, bf, reading a book and singing.
-She wakes up crying betwee 10:20 and 11 p.m., then again at 1 a.m. and 4 p.m.
- She is up and about anytime from 6 a.m. and 7:30 a.m.  She eats cheerios and drinks water for breakfast,
- bf, naps from 8 or 8:30 till 9:50
- try to feed home made puree soups w/no success. Then we go out running errands or to the park.
- bf then nap from 1 to 2:50
- plays with mom and we read some more or sing and dance
- eats anywhere from 4:30 to 5:30.  Then we go for a ride on her stroller
 Any help will be greatly appreciate it. Sleepless in Zephyrhills,FL!

[SleeplessSam]

Hi there!  Thought I'd try to help....it looks like in snowhite's case that the baby isn't on a proper schedule.  At 8 months she should be eating every 4 hours in the day (BFing that is).  In my experience if you are BFing her to sleep she'll need that to get back to sleep every time she wakes which is what appears to be happening in the night.  I think the most important thing you need to do is get on EASY.  I guarantee you will have LOTS of crying at nap and bedtime for about a week...HOWEVER it will change if you stick to it 100%  I'm a prime example.  DD is 6 months and I was doing the same thing as you.  She still isn't 100% with things but naps about 1.5 hours twice a day, catnaps at dinner and sleeps from 7pm to 7am with a dreamfeed at 10pm. 
So my suggestion is start very slowly.  My schedule is below...try and see if you can follow something similar for a few days:

7am wake/feed
7:15 Play time
8:00 cereal
8:15 Play time
9:00 morning nap *note sometimes she wakes after 45 minutes and I have to use the PU/PD method to get her back to sleep...sometimes she wont' go back to sleep.  If not just continue doing it (with earplugs if need be) until 1.5 hours has gone by since you put her down for her nap*
10:30 Play
11:00 feed
12:30 nap
2:30 feed
4:30 catnap for 30-45 mins
5 or 5:30 feed
5:30 or 6:00 cereal
6:00 Play (quietly)
7:00 last feed, bath and two stories in a dimly lit room
7:30 sleep
Some things that helped me get her to sleep without the boob...I always read a story before sleep in a darkened room.  It gives some wind down time and they understand what is coming next.  She cried throught the first two days of this and now listens to the story intently.  I also use her sleep sack at naps to make it feel like bed time.

For night time...if she's waking at the same time every night it is more likely out of habit than hunger.  If she is hungry you need to up her calories inthe day...so add a couple of more feeds to staryt out (like note how I feed after the catnap even though its' been less than 4 hours...that way I get one extra feed in before bed).  You will not starve the baby...if she is eating too often then she is just snacking and not getting proper "meals". 

Some reassurance...since we started I have a MUCH happier baby and I am a MUCH happier mommy with much more patience.  The most important thing to remember is you need to be patient.  They do not understand why we are changing things...so take it slowly.  Hoep this is helpful to both of you
GOOD LUCK!

[teezee]

since u are bfing just reduce the number of minutes u bf for the night feeding(s) every few days.  Over a process of about 2 wks, dd has gotten better and better using this method.  my little lucky to get 3oz in her eater is now eating 5oz +, sometime 8 oz - far cry from a couple weeks ago!  i did not add any feeds during the day myself, just by slowly cutting out night feeds she has taken way more calories during the day, also her solid intake is way more than what it was (and i thought it was alot before.)  there are different methods to try - whatever u feel comfortable with and what works for u and your lo is what is right.  btw i still do a df but at this point don't feed anymore than 3min during the night - she cries for a minute but she gets over it b/c i don't think she's 'expecting' it anymore and isn't really hungry just looking for the comfort...she goes from 11-8am (with a brief 4am wake up habit) with no troubles at all (feeding wise) - she actually slept til 9 one morning this week...go figure!

[teezee]

forgot to add - i agree completely with the last poster - whatever u decide to do - TAKE IT SLOWLY!!!!  if u are interested in using the method that i have chosen there is a sticky on it in one of the forums i think it is called how i got my 10 month old off night feeds?!

[Pominoz]

Can I ask what you are trying to achieve by leaving your baby to cry unattended for 3 hours?  You are obviously not "teaching" her anything, as the problem is continuing.

Crying is your baby's way of communicating with you - she's not doing it to annoy you or to deliberately keep you awake.  She NEEDS something.  How would you feel if you were totally dependant on another person, but they continually ignored you when you needed something?

Quite a few studies have shown that babies who are left to cry unattended for long periods are more likely to suffer from emotional problems later in life.

I think you should think carefully about what you are doing here.

Emma

[Jo-FrasersMum]

Hi BellaBlu and snowwhite704 - welcome to the boards.  Hopefully we'll be able to offer you both some help.

BellaBlu - as Pominoz says, leaving a baby to cry is not a method we endorse on this site.  As the previous poster points out, there is research to support the position that it is harmful to leave your baby cry, but more importantly this site is devoted to the work of Tracy Hogg, The Baby Whisperer, who believed that leaving a baby to cry broke the trust between a parent and a baby, and was as a result not a method she advocated.  Likewise, you will not find parents on these boards who advocate controlled crying or cry-it-out.  So my first comment is, when your lo is awake after that 4am feed, you need to try and help your dd to get back to sleep. 

How is your LO falling asleep at the beginning of the night?  Does she nap well?  What is her day time routine like?

Snowwhite, it sounds like your LO has developed a sleep association of needing a feed to help her fall alseep.  You will need to try and help your DD to learn how to fall alseep independently - you are reading the book so you will find tips in there about how to do that - also, feel free to post questions around this site depending on what specific issues you find you are having.  Sleepless Sam gave you some great suggestions about getting on to a day time routine - it is much easier to have a daytime routine that works - you will often find that the nights fall into place once the day is sorted. 

A couple of things I noticed - most lo's have milk before solids up until about 9 months of age - they need the nutrition from the milk - they are not getting much from the solids because they are still learning to take solids - it is more about learning and less about nutrition up until that point.  Giving milk first will ensure that your dd is taking good feeds during the day and it not compromising her milk intake by filling her belly with solids first.  Also - I notice that you are giving cheerios for breakfast - now we don't have cheerios in Australia but I'm not sure that they are particularly good by themselves as a breakfast offering - perhaps you could add some rice cereal or oat cereal, or fruit or yoghurt to breakfast time.  But like I said, the most important thing to concentrate on is making sure that dd is taking enough milk during the day to get her through the night.

HTH a bit, good luck to you both