Meg's mom or Taylor's mom.... help

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Just to jog your memory. I am trying to extend Gage's A time, and we are shooting for a 3.5 EASY to transtion him to a 4 hour Easy. I have been extending his first A time to 1hr 15 and his others to 1 hr. I have been also starting the day at 8 am rather than letting him sleep until 9-10am. I have also been monitoring his nap amounts as he was sleeping too long and switching his days with his nights.

Anyway, the weekend has been hell! He has been way overtired, and has not slept very good at all.  All of his naps are 45 mins again! One night he wouldnt sleep until 2:30 am and was crying A LOT! The next day it was the same and DD and I had to rock him and hold him for 2 hrs to let him sleep.  :cry:

Am I doing something wrong? Is it too much? Am I messing things up again?

Also,  he has been escaping and seriously fighting his swaddle. He just doesnt want it anymore, and I have tried a few different ways to wean him (probably part of the prob.). This is not working either. I just dont think he is developmentally ready to get rid of it. I dont know what to do.

I am sorry to keep bugging you. As if you dont have parenting jobs of your own :oops:  But you are all I have.

[kirsty_167]

HI...im not the one you messaged but i felt for you and felt i should post a reply of support.
My son went through a similar scenario at the same age.I ended up forgetting swaddling as he was fighting it too.I decided sleep was all up the creek anyway so start teaching sleep all over again without it.It was hard work,very hard work.Unfortunately when they dont nap well they dont go down well at bedtime either.I will tell you what i did....i left him unswaddled but pulled the sheets tight to mimick swaddling.I left his arms under the sheet to start.I then had to go through all the motions again of sleep training.Pat/shush///rubbing his forhead.laying wiht him..anything to get him to sleep.It took a couple of weeks for him to get back on track.

All i suggest is find what works for you........dont beat yourself up...we all do that too much i think!! We are all trying our best,the best for our babies.Remember that.

Hope things get better....
kirsty

[Colesmom]

HI Gage's Mom,

Hopefully the other two will see your post as well, but wanted to ask...what is Gage's temperment?  Touchy?  Spirited etc? 

Are you doing a consistent windown and how long is it?  I realize you are trying to extend A time.  Are you trying to do quiet activities during that extra A time?  Playing with a soft toy on the floor, staring out a window etc?

My first thought is that for his age of nearly 4 months that 1-1:15 is too short and he is not tired enough to sleep more than 45 minutes.  What are you doing to try and extend his naps?

Sorry your post went unanswered last night...my internet connection has been touchy.

Keep in mind that you are doing GREAT!  Short naps are very hard to deal with, especially after having long ones at the start.  You and DS will get through this.  HUGS

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Thanks for the replies. I couldnt check the computer last night anyway as we were up until 12:30 am trying to get him to sleep. He got a total of 3 hrs and 45 min in naps and didnt fall asleep for the night until dh rocked him (which I hate).

Our wind down for naps consists of diaper change (if needed), dim lights, humidifier, swaddle (this is where he gets all worked up), and then I pick him up to tuck in the swaddle corner and tell him that he is going to take a nap etc., He usually cries for about five minutes (I cant be in the room or he wont stop) and then farts around until he falls asleep. Lately, he spends most of his time upset and trying to get out of the swaddle. Bedtime our routine is diaper change, story, massage, humidifier, dim lights, swaddle, and bottle.

He is a spirited/text book little guy with A LOT of energy. When he is not overtired he is always cooing and laughing. He is trying VERY hard to roll over, and I think the swaddle and the positioner are standing in his way. I have tried getting rid of the darn thing, but he ends up hitting himself in the face and not sleeping. Then I cave in and reswaddle him. It makes me just want to cry when I think about having to retrain him to sleep without it as it was soooooo hard getting him here.

He was taking long naps, I guess that was what got us into trouble. He was sleeping 7 ish hours :oops: I have tried to extend his naps with the shh/pat and it makes it worse. I have tried stirring him which works sometimes. I have tried laying my hand on his chest only to have him think it is play time. It was making me crazy so I just decided to go with the 45 min naps until he grew out of it.

Gage loooooves his crib. He will whine to go back to bed after he has been up for about 40 mins and then fart around in his crib for another 30min. If he is overtired he will stay in his crib for an hour or 2 farting around. I usually try to get him to sleep at this point because it just seems abusive to let him lay in there that long. After I try to intervene I always wish I hadnt because he get really cranky. Then I ask myself, "Why did you bother him, he was just fine!"
 
I am sorry this is so long. Thank you for listening.

[kirsty_167]

Hi again, after reading your post i wondered if you had looked at a different way of swaddling him> I know there are a few different ways that i found when i was going through the same problem.

I understand totally the frustration you feel at the though of retraining,i felt the same and it was as i said very hard. But other things can happen to that make you have to retrain sleep...such as rolling over,teeth etc....so it may be inevitable at some point.Right now its important you do what you can to find a way to work for you.It is sad when we have our babies fo from sleeping well to not!!! (not to mention frustrating and scary)

 I feel for you.I have just about come out the other side of a bad stage (well hopefully i dont speak too soon!) It was 3 weeks of trying to get jakob back to napping well and then bedtime went awol....now that is settling down too) Lots of us go through it.....but when we do we know we have great sites like this one to reach out to!! Phew!!

Take care
kirsty

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

So not an expert here but would you try a grobag/sleeping bag instead of the swaddle? They are still cozy but can move around and don't feel restricted. I put dd in one at 6 months and plan to use it as long as possible, especially as she is all over the place in her cot.

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Leah's mom, did you put your lo in a sleeping bag right from the swaddle? I have a sleeping bag, and he couldnt sleep. I also bought a swaddleaze which is kind of the best of both worlds, but he sweats in it. I thought I read somewhere that someone held their lo's arm down until they got used to it. I did that once. I held his hand for the WHOLE nap, and I will do again but I wonder if I am teaching him anything.

[Meg's Mom]

Gage's mom -here i am 

Sorry you are having trouble again!  Him fighting the swaddle could definately be part of the problem.  You are using the miracle swaddle correct?  I think i recall you saying you use it with out the feet in so you can get it tighter, yes?  He must be a strong bugger, as my LO used that one until she was 7mos!  Have you tried the Auzzie swaddle? 

I am glad you have gotten great support/advise already.

Are all naps 45min or just some?

What was his A time when he did the longer (too long  :wink: ) naps?

I'll check back, but here is what i am thinking...since he sprited and they get overtired in a blink maybe you reduce the pace at which you are extending A time.  Instead of 15min try 5min every few days.  Also make the A time for the 1st nap less then the others...my LO needed a shorter A time for her first nap and a longer one for her second, etc.  So 1hr and 1.15hr for the rest.  It maybe he is starting out the day overtired and it just gets out of control come bed time.

But also get something sorted for the swaddle or just swaddle his feet or the sleep that has been recommended.  Have you tried posting in the general forum for swaddle ideas?

Hang in there, we will all help you in figuring this out - hugs

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Thank you for helping me. You will never really know how much this means to us :oops: 

All of Gage's naps have been 45 min with the exception of today his morning which was 3 hrs (I had to let him as he REALLY needed it), and he had two 1hr naps and a 45 min (I woke him from). When he was switching things around, he had 2 or 3 hour naps. During that time he was also sleeping in and had A times of 45 min.

Before things went horribly wrong he was waking for a feed at 5 am and waking up at around 9-9:30am for the day. Then his first A time was 1hr 15 min and the rest was 1hr. I was trying to put him to bed by 8pm, but he usually fell asleep between 9-9:30pm. Doesnt that seem like A LOT of sleep? 

I have tried the aussie swaddle, and I think he was able to move too much in it. He cooed at first and then whined as he was trying to sleep. I chickened out and swaddled him with the miracle blanket. I also tried to unswaddle one arm and held it the WHOLE nap once, but I am not sure it helped. I also tried one arm out and propped on his side, but he just moved to his back. He is always kicking even when he was totally swaddled. I think he can control it though because it has never been a prob. It's those busy hands that are flailing. Even in the womb he was a mover. I could barely get any ultrasounds because he moved so much :lol:

I have no idea what to do. I wish I could just deal with one issue at a time, but I think they are connected some how.

[Mom2katiebug]

Have been silently watching this thread - we're having similar issues - and would like to keep track.

Good luck, Gagesmom.  Hope things settle soon.

[Taylor's Mommy]

Hi Gage's Mom
Just checking in to see how things are going. 

Instead of 15min try 5min every few days. Also make the A time for the 1st nap less then the others...my LO needed a shorter A time for her first nap and a longer one for her second, etc. So 1hr and 1.15hr for the rest. It maybe he is starting out the day overtired and it just gets out of control come bed time.

This is so true for us and even is to this day.  Taylor always has a shorter am A time than afternoon A time.

Have you ever heard of the swaddle from teh Happiest Baby on the Block?  It is actually a technique/way to swaddle and it worked for us until Taylor was about 4 months and we stopped using it.

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Today was much better thank you! We tried your suggestion with the shorter A time ( 1 hr) in the morning, and Gage slept for 2.5 hrs ( a little too long, but dd was "trying to help"  :oops: . He was kind of crabby for the 2nd nap (A time 1hr 15 min), but had a 45 min nap. The 3rd nap was awful he was up for apx 3 hrs, but slept for 1.5 which I had to wake him from. His last A time was 45 min as we crabby practically the whole time, and I woke him from that which was 45 min. He got up and was GREAT! He stayed up for 1hr 40 min and went to bed GREAT! I just need to cross my fingers for the rest of the night :wink:


Also, I revamped the miracle blanket a bit. I put his arms on his tummy, and he didnt seem to mind it. I dont know how this will hold up to my boy the power house, but I thought Id try it. The first nap was fine, but when I went in for the second nap his arms were loose, and I am pretty sure he was still asleep. I pray this is the start of him gradually getting the hang of being loose. How is it done in the happiest baby on the block book?

[Meg's Mom]

Glad to hear things are better!  Fingers crossed  :wink:

[Gage and Sophie's Mom]

Yesterday was better, but the night was awful again. I monitored his nap amounts (5.5 hrs), but he was still awake until 2:30am. He wasnt crying though, he just looked so tired and in need of help to sleep. I dont know. I have been trying to keep him awake but he whines. He has been staying awake with no prob for 1.5 hr before bedtime. Then he sleeps for an hour and up for the rest of night. Then he is tired the next day, and the cycle continues. I am ready to give up. We have tried everything, and I dont want to where out my welcome on this site.

Thanks for all of your help.

[Taylor's Mommy]

So when he is up till 2:30 what is he doing?  If he goes to sleep at 9ish then you say he wakes up an hour later, he is up for 4 hours straight correct?  Do you offer a feed during that time?  Does he take it?  Is he crying that whole time/just fussing?

Just trying to get a handle on what's going on with the late night party session!  I think you are right.  Him staying up so late is making him overtired the next day and then the cycle continues.

Please try to fill me in on what's going on late at night.
thanks!