Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread, but I'm feeling your frustration. Packing some food in with the LOs things will at least encourage their biomum to maybe offer them something from that....
Our LO is 27 months old and has a generally healthy and reasonably varied diet...
As to sweets and fizzy drinks... well... I have always taken the stance that if Katie wants to try something, she can. So, for example, my DH really likes Coke, but doesn't buy it that often because of all the sugar. When he does, Katie normally asks to try some. We normally let her... after two sips, she doesn't want anymore.
In a cup, I let her have water, milk, watered down fruit juice and watered down organic blackcurrant cordial. Mainly she prefers water and apple juice well watered down, and milk in the evenings. Again, we give her the choice, but make sure any juice is watered down well.
Regarding sweets, Katie does like chocolate and will ask for it from time to time. However, she doesn't ask for it very often and only usually if we are having some. Again, I let her have some in these situations. There have been times when she has maybe had too much and has run around like a dafty, so we are normally a little more careful about quantity now. I have noticed that she has started to self-limit herself now - so, will maybe only have 1 or 2 bites and then leaves the rest (well done, my LO).
Recently, she has taken a liking to 'lollies' i.e. hard boiled sweets on a stick. We have let her have these, but I am aware that this means that sugars are coating her teeth for a long time, so we make a special point of a super extra tooth brush clean then. I am probably going to limit lollies to one every couple of months, though.
So, our way might not be everyone's way, but it seems to have worked out OK for us.
On Tuesdays, Katie is with her grandma. I get the distinct impression that Katie can have whatever she wants out of the shop on Tuesdays, but I have given up asking as it just stresses me out too much! Grandma also always has lots of healthy food available, so there is soem mix and balance in there!
I know this is NOT the same as your situation at all, but just wanted to let you know our approach.
Is it possible that the biomum doesn't know an awful lot about healthy food choices? I know this might sound weird, but it is amazing what some folks don't know.
(((Hugs))
