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Offline newkidontheblock

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Crying for mom not dad
« on: October 05, 2014, 11:17:43 am »
Hi again. I feel like I'm constantly on here with a new query :) I had previously posted this on the sleep board and weaver was helping me out but it seems to just be a nap issue... for now at least. DH did all 3 naps for 2 days last week and since then, I am having an extremely tough time putting her down for naps. No AP/ changes done by him.We sing, swaddle, hold till drowsy & PD. Now, he just swaddles, puts down & she's out. It seems like every time he does it, she gets a little more independent. With me, she starts crying as soon as I darken the room and then I have to shush pat for her to fall asleep. She loves being with both of us and until this week, putting her down was equally easy/tough for both of us. Has anyone gone through this? Weaver suggested more cuddle time but that doesn't seem to have made a difference.  I feel terrible. I can't understand what she is trying to tell me, and I feel like such a failure right now. As a result, I get more nervous at each nap time and keep second guessing myself, which she probably can feel.

Just in case anyone was thinking it, I did NOT let her CIO or do anything to break her trust.

Please help me. Not being able to help your LO is the worst feeling in the world. TIA.
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Offline lauradj

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2014, 03:03:49 am »
Oh hon, that's hard.  From reading your posts, I don't think anyone would assume you would ever allow your love bug to cry it out.  It is frustrating as all get out but sometimes babies react differently to different parents at different times.  There was a time when DH could not get DS to settle for bed.  Now, the post-bath scene is a gong show with me and he's all happy and sunshine with DH.  Darned if I know why!
As hard as it is on you, try not to take it personally.  It may be that you are approaching bedtime/nap time with trepidation, anticipating her reaction, and she's feeling this.  It is also possible that it just a phase and you may have to just keep doing what your doing, knowing that this too shall pass.  Maybe you could do something slightly different, a gentle quiet version of Itsy Bitsy Spider or Moses Toeses (ask if you're scratching your head, T loves it).  Just some thoughts  :-*
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Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2014, 08:00:42 am »
Thanks for the advice. It has gotten a bit easier. She simply can't handle seeing me-I have to shield her eyes. Just wondering, how did your DH manage eventually? She won't let mine bathe her or put her down for the night.
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Offline weaver

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2014, 13:29:10 pm »
I'm popping by with a hug for you, lovey.

Let's keep working on this one, and please don't beat yourself up, these are funny little creatures.  If it's possible for DH to tend to her, then I would go with that for a while.  Keep your hand in, of course, but step back a little for a few days, sounds like you could do with a break. 

(())
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*Anne*, loving mama to a honeybee (2010) and a sweetpea (2012).  BF for 4 proud years.

Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #4 on: October 07, 2014, 14:29:52 pm »
Oh weaver, everything has just fallen apart. The crying is now constant. I think it is 4mos regression but I really am very confused. DH can now get her down with minimum to no crying but she screams if he tries to resettle her. She's much better with me but the crying is a lot at every single nap. Today her first nap was 15 mins! and then I had to nurse her to get the next one of 30 mins & finally hold her for the last of 1 1/2 hours. I feel like I am regressing more than her. I just needed her to sleep. She was sooooo cranky by then. I think we'll have to start EASY all over again by the end of this!
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Offline weaver

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2014, 14:33:03 pm »
Any chance she's ill at all, lovey?  Teeth perhaps? Have you given her any meds?
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*Anne*, loving mama to a honeybee (2010) and a sweetpea (2012).  BF for 4 proud years.

Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2014, 14:57:21 pm »
No teeth in sight. I don't think she is ill but I do know she is going through something. We are going to the doc on Saturday though. It's just one of those times, I guess.
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Offline emily3434

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2014, 16:18:04 pm »
More hugs and support!!  We are dealing with crazy changes in preference as well.  I feel it must be age related.  I have been at my wit send the last few weeks.  And finally this morning he settle for a nice long nap.  Huge relief.  I felt he had forgotten how to settle, and was not happy with other apop like before.  It's a miserable time!!  But I'm hopeful with time he will circle back around
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Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2014, 17:20:17 pm »
Hugs right back atcha! Glad your DS had a good nap. Even one good nap makes such a difference to the overall day!
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Offline weaver

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #9 on: October 08, 2014, 18:50:55 pm »
Will you post your EASY? 

I may have said this before but average A time for this age is 1 hr 45 to 2 hrs.  Nap resistance and refusal to resettle are often signs of undertiredness...that may be in the mix??
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*Anne*, loving mama to a honeybee (2010) and a sweetpea (2012).  BF for 4 proud years.

Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #10 on: October 08, 2014, 22:06:27 pm »
Hi weaver. She is on a 4 hr EASY, easily doing 2 hr. I thought perhaps it was too much but 1.45 gets only a 15 minute nap. 2 hr was giving us 2hr nap with a resettle which became 1 1/2 hr without resettle, and then 30 mins, which means OT (but how). I tried pushing A to 2.10 and we got a 40 minute nap. I do think something else is on too as in having a lot of trouble nursing her and we are getting NWs. Gaah.
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Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #11 on: October 08, 2014, 22:08:02 pm »
@lauradj - I tried out cuddles and quiet rhyme time in her room and it went better. Will keep doing it, thanks!
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Offline weaver

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #12 on: October 09, 2014, 13:21:45 pm »
No time for a long post but 40 mins is one sleep cycle, an under tired nap.  She may be low sleep needs!
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*Anne*, loving mama to a honeybee (2010) and a sweetpea (2012).  BF for 4 proud years.

Offline newkidontheblock

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Re: Crying for mom not dad
« Reply #13 on: October 29, 2014, 12:00:43 pm »
She may be. Bit she does get super fussy at around 2,hrs and a bit. Also bedtime falls apart without catnap. If she is lsn, how would I go about helping her to sleep?
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