Pre-Nap Meltdown Mania

[ningning]

my daughter is 4 mo's old & on 3.5-4hr EASY.  the past two weeks her daytime nap habits have changed dramatically for the worse.  she is a spirited baby & she really fights going to sleep.  she has always seemed to think that she will be missing something & didn't care to be swaddled very much.  She got used to the swaddling though and usually would just whine a little before falling asleep with hardly any coaxing.  now she screams her little head off, kicks, cries so much that she hyperventilates, shakes, and chokes on her own saliva.  sometimes she gets so worked up that nothing will calm her down.  she closes her eyes & doesn't even seem to realize that i am there or acknowledge any sounds (like me shushing, humming, talking to her) other than her own wailing. 

i am still swaddling her with one arm out because she has such trouble staying asleep lately & she still flails her arms all around waking herself up.  we use noisemakers (ocean sounds & an air filter) to help her go to sleep.  we always use the same pre-sleep routine: close the blinds, swaddle her, turn on noise makers, tell her, "it's time to sleep," rhythmically pat her back while holding her, try to block out visual stimulation, and sometimes give her the paci when she wants it. 

when she's fussy i've tried the pu/pd and that seems to stimulate her & upset her more.  even shushing sometimes seems to anger or upset her, causing her to cry louder & open her eyes.

then when i finally get her to sleep, she wakes up after 20-45 minutes.  lately, it's more like 20 minutes.  i've stayed in the room with her after putting her down for up to an hour many, many times.  she jolts a lot and sometimes doesn't seem to go out of rem at all.   sometimes she will cry or whine in her sleep too.  when she wakes up i know she's tired because she's grumpy, but she won't go back to sleep. 

has anyone else had experiences like this?

[BabyBsMommy]

Stacy - what did you do for the wind down and quiet A time?  I DREAD naptime, too!

Ningning- I feel your pain!  My 14 week old is having the same issues.  We thought it was because his first cold through him off but it's been gone for 9 days now and the same things are stll happening with his naps.  We finally decided to leave his arms out of the swaddle since he fights constantly to get them out so he can learn to soothe himself a bit, figured it can't hurt since naps are so wonky now, anyways!  We have been doing a variation of pu/pd where we won't put him down to start his nap until he has settled with us patting and talking softly to him while holding him (he starts to fuss the second the blinds are drawn in our routine).  Then, we put him down and if he starts to cry on the way down or once in the crib we try to soothe him with our hand and a quiet voice for a few minutes to try to settle him there.  This has worked a few times on the first try other times it takes a few.  It stinks to have to hold him thrashing and screaming but every time we do it, it gets a little better....  our frustration is that he's also keeping himself awake/keeps waking up when he goes down at night where he used to be excellent at this time.  tonight, he fell asleep and woke up 3 times in the first hour!  Keep at it, it's got to get better at some point!

[brightside]

Sorry to butt in but I just wanted to say to Stacy that I LOVE reading your posts. I know its not funny and I'm sure you've had a hell of a time but you have a great sense of humour and your posts always make me smile. 

[Cluna]

I don't know if it helps, but your description of naptime rings many bells in my head! Although my son is older than yours I think sometimes it feels like youre starting again because the little ones are changing and growing so rapidly, what they need changes too. At night I only PU if he's in pain with wind or teething etc and sometimes he fights me so I put him straight down and do like you soothing words and just a hand on him (sometimes he'll hold my hand) he thrashes about then slowly winds down. He too is waking after 20mins-30mins of naps although night time is getting better. I've tried sitting with him and patting him/or hand on him when he wakes but this seems to stir him out of sleep and his eyes pop open and he either cries or tries to get my attention to play! by laughing or smiling!! so I'm going to try wake to sleep and extending quiet wind down play before like Stacey ahs suggested. For winddown Sometimes we just look at a mobile or we have a cuddle on some cushions or we look at birds out the window. We have had prolems at nursery his first day he slept for an hour in the morning now he's down to 20 mins so for him I think he does need to cut off from whats going on (sometimes he'll cover his eyes -with hands or cloth - so this is telling me!!!) I know there are big development leaps at differnt periods of a babies life so it may be our babies need that extra support to wind down when so much is changing and their bodies are growing and becoming so active
best of luck
clu