Yet another desperate plea....

[Laura~Cooper's Mom]

I posted on the Getting Back on Track boards....can someone help?  In a nutshell....Cooper was sleep trained 6 months and did well for 3 months.  Then came teeth, vacation etc and here we are back in the same boat.  He starts out in his crib but ends up in our bed sometime in the night.  Currently he is sick and cutting his top teeth....all white and one corner of both is through but now we seemt o have stalled there, and we just returned home from a week away.  I am so desperate to regain my night time life with my dh.  WE need to get back to being husband and wife and not just parents.  I need help.  Should I do pd only?  He falls asleep well with a few pats on his back but can't seem to settle himself later in the sleep cycle.  It usually occurs 3 hours to 5 hours later.  He still naps twice a day with no issues and sleeps at least 2 1/2 hours per day for the naps.  What do you think is going on??HELP

[Mum to Ella Rose]

My vote is to keep doing the back pats when he wakes overnight and pu/pd if necessary. I think with a bit more time and some consistency it should iron itself out in time. Dd would wake a great deal at night when she cut her first two teeth (after being a good sleeper) but still nap well. Oddly enough with her second two it was (is) the naps that are out the window. Maybe he's old enough as well to think "if I cry long enough I can sleep with mum and dad" ?
I think it's probably just been a great deal of change/pain, etc. and he needs some "re-entry" time with the same "routine" over and over.

Hope that helps some... good luck and keep us posted!

Sharon

[Laura~Cooper's Mom]

Suddenly the naps are out the window as well.  When it rains it pours.  I am going to try and be more consistent at night and force dh to as well.  It's time to reclaim the throne so to speak.  He has been so sick, so confused and so tired that something has got to give.

Thanks!  I'll keep you posted.

[Mum to Ella Rose]

Aaawww....poor guy! Do keep us posted and good luck! 

Oh and just for the record dd's top teeth are finally in and we seem (knock on wood) to be getting back on track though it's taken a good solid week and a half! Though we also went through a schedule change...

Sharon

[Laura~Cooper's Mom]

Are we living the same life Sharon??  We are going through a schedule change as well.  Can I ask what is happening with you and Ella?
Cooper has decided he needs only one nap???  HELP

[Mum to Ella Rose]

:lol: Hey Laura...yeah, it's a BIT crazy these days!!!!! You may want to check out a thread started by Cazao in the nap section...called "longer wake times..." A few of us were wondering about schedules and we had to move to a "nine month old" one. Meg's mommy, Michelle, had some great advice (as did the other women) but it turns out she ended up having to go to one nap whereas I think we're still in the "two smaller one's" place.

At any rate I don't know if this will help but here's what we've been trying to do now...(after MUCH tweaking and still no "solution"!

7 wake & 8oz. bottle

8 breakfast

10-11 nap (we wake her if she doesn't on her own but she usually does)

12 lunch

2 8oz. bottle

2:30 until 3:30/4 nap

5:30 supper

7 bath & 8oz. bottle

7:30 bed

Usually Ella sleeps 11 1/2 hours overnight. On a good day! But between the teeth and all the new mobility... blech. Her latest thing is standing in the crib. Over and over and over again... and it's so hard now to get her down... last night she woke at 3 then again at 5 and off and on until we got up at 6:45. I have been really trying to distinguish between the mantra cry and the HELP cry... though her mantra cry is getting right p.o.'d!!!!  :lol:

I'm just trying to not go in too, too much and if I do I lay her right back down again and say "night, night" in a firm voice. I give her a back pat and head stroke then leave again. I usually don't get past the door before she starts "screeching" again so I go back in and do it again. I also talk calmly saying "it's okay Ella, mummy's here, you're just going to sleep darling, etc." And so it goes. It's been about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes for each sleep. Exhausting but... I want her to know it's not play or cuddle time. She is waking very happy still and over all is a happy girl. I think we too just have to ride it out and be consistent.

What is your schedule like? Maybe you could work towards a shorter morning nap even if it's 30 minutes and keep the afternoon one decent seeing as you're not to far away from one nap?

I guess in some ways I am lucky as I never have to worry about bringing Ella into bed as she has never wanted any part of that!  :lol: Nor cuddling, rocking, etc. Even when we get to the pu/pd stage she just pushes off me. She wants me there... but not tooooo close!  :lol:

I saw your other post and can't remember off hand but I think Matthew's Mommy was right in the being consistent part. It's soooo key! The hard part is for us...

Keep me posted...

Sharon

[Johno & Aurelias Mum]

Hey Laura

I remember your posts on a thread when I was having the same problems as you when Johno was about the same age.

The only thing to do is be consistent in the night, keep doing PD and not taking him into your bed.  It took us 10 days tops to get back on track so I hope that gives you light at the end of your tunnel!

Nap-wise.  Johno also decided that at 10 months he only wanted one.  So one day, I bit the bullet and changed the routine.  I read tracy's third book and I introduced the one nap routine as if he had never been on EASY before.  This meant watching the clock rather than him which I found really strange.

Anyway, the day I did it, I didn't plan to get anything done - not even me getting dressed but I did manage that by letting DS help empty my drawers etc!  I cajoled him through until late morning.  He then slept for 2.5 hours and got up for lunch then he seemed fine for the afternoon and he went to bed about 7pm.  He settled into this quite quickly.  Occasionally if we'd had a busy day he would nap in the car in the afternoon but I didn't stress about that too much.

Hope this helps my dear!

[Laura~Cooper's Mom]

Jenny--BLESS YOU for telling me that.  I kept worrying that it was too soon etc.  OK--will read tonight and see what happens.  Our night last night was wonderful.  He went down at 7 on the nose, woke at 3, right back to sleep and slept until 7:15.  ALL with only one nap.  Maybe that is the key.  Currently he has been asleep for about an hour and a half.  I am going to let him go 2 hours--maybe 2 hours 15 min then that will be it until bedtime.  Thanks again for reassuring me about the naps.  As far as the nighttime goes....we are starting this weekend with no more in our bed.  I may be bleary eyed and crazed next week but we have to do it.

Sharon--Thanks for the info on the post.  I will read it in a few minutes.  I think we are going to try the one nap thing.  The night time is a whole different story.  DH caves under pressure and I do too if I am too tired.  I have been trying harder to find some me time and that seems to be helping my ability to stay firm with the nights but it is still becoming way to easy to put him in our bed in the middle of the night.  He also stands up and if I lay him back down becomes agitated and screams so loudly.  It kills me.  BUT--I know it is the right thing to do.  We are starting this weekend so I will keep you posted.  Thanks for the support.