desparate for support and help

[ambersmum]

Will check tomorrow to see how you are.
'This hard phase will end'. Don't know if that helps but I say it to myself all the time on dark days.

[GG]

Since the fever and the ear infection are gone, I say you should go for it, especially while you have someone to watch your eldest.

Good luck!  Let us know if you have any questions while you're doing the sleep training and we'll try to answer your questions as soon as possible.  I'm sure you'll do great!   

[M&M's Ima]

Thanks guys!
Well,  :oops: , I kind of fell asleep nursing this morning, so we both had a two hour nap. Not sorry about that at all, actually. The next nap something happened and I couldn't do it either, (but he slept for two hours!) then we were out....

but I did do it for bedtime, and it worked pretty well! He woke twice after ten minutes, but was sleeping again in four each time.

Gotta get up the courage to start with this tomorrow.

[M&M's Ima]

Okay, I did it for all those measly little naps today. Got one good nap out of him, though. Didn't take too long each time, but in the afternoon he did keep waking up tired, after about thirty minutes.
GRRR.

Here comes my admission. I use nursing as part of the wind down routine, and I need to take it out altogether so we can be on EASYYY. HELP! I can't calm him down well without it, and was not up to the extra screaming.

Thanks again for your support, everyone!

[ambersmum]

Well done on the progress so far!

Just a thought, would a dummy as part of wind down help to replace nursing? not for him to fall asleep with but to help him clam down. I used one when Amber was small and she just stopped wanting it when she was an independent sleeper. It doesn't have to be a prop if used sparingly. HTH

[GG]

Just wanted to give you an idea about what the future holds... you think the screams are bad now?  They are just loud (I'm sure very loud!).  They are still loud in the future except that, then, their facial expressions are more expressive and they can have tears and tears rolling down their little faces.  I seriously think that it's MUCH harder the longer you drag it out.  I'm not dealing with nursing to sleep anymore.  I'm dealing with slowly trying to wean him, and I'm only cutting out a couple of nursing sessions a day.  By his crying you'd think I was starving him instead (he does get solids)!!!  It breaks my heart!

Take one day at a time.  Tell yourself you'll do just one entire day of not nursing before he goes to sleep.  See how you're able to handle that.  It honestly gets better day by day.  You'll see little changes and then, one day, WOW!  The naps really do seem better!

Are you trying to get plenty of rest in the meantime?  It's a lot harder to handle if you're tired.

By the way, thank you for checking in and letting us know how things are going!!

[M&M's Ima]

Juliet, I'd love for him to use a pacifier, I just can't seem to get him to take one.

Today was  another bad day for naps. I slept with him in the morning so we both got a long and needed nap. I nursed him every time he woke at 45 minutes. In the afternoon, I didn't have help again, and ds had a dr appointment, so he got really worn out, and I didn't have the heart to have him scream to sleep when it was my fault that he was so tired. Somehow it seems it isn't fair to do to him if I made him overtired.
 

I knew about BW before he was born, and was planning on doing it from the beginning. I guess I didn't realize beginning really meant day1, and he just fell asleep so easily, and I was so out of it....
so here we are nursing to sleep again. I failed entirely with big ds's sleeping.  by age 2 he has figured it out, thank G-d. I seem to not have the energy for sleep training.

Here's the real thing, though - I find it IMPOSSIBLE to get him in bed when he's ready. My oldest needs something, or I need to eat, or I have to take them out, or whatever. By the afternoon he is always overtired, and then sleeps half hours, plus it takes longer to get him down. Ds1 can't take that all afternoon.

And, guess what (thanks for staying with me til here, whoever has read this far)!
I'm schlepping both kids over seven time zones next week, to my in laws, where there is no way I'll be able to let him cry more than five minutes, if that. We'll be there a week, then back home with two jet-lagged kids.

I know that makes this not such an ideal time to start this, but on the other hand, he needs to be able to fall asleep by the time we get there.

Saturday - Tuesday I should have my father and step mother back here to help, so maybe I really will be able to have this underway.

Thank you so so much for all the support! It's ridiculous doing this here by myself.

[ambersmum]

Hi , just read your latest, I have no amazing advice, just to say, I did read to the end! It sounds so hard on your own and with ds1 needing you too.
A big hug is wending its way to you from England :wink:
Sleep training is hard but so worth it in the long run, keep going!