2-1 transition...is it always this hard???

[Lins83]

Hello -

I'm new to posting but have become very desperate for advice so please help if you can!  My DS is 13.5 mo and I'm trying to do the 2-1 transition.  I feel like its quite early but his nap times have been moving back and back to the point where the second is ridiculously late so I thought that was a sign.  Now I am doubting myself A LOT!  He's a spirited child and has always done well with clear boundaries. He's also always had very random wake up times (anything between 5.30 and 7 is normal for us....) and PD technique does not work in the mornings (but does work at other times).

Now I'm trying to get him to 11.30/12ish for his nap with the idea that I bring his BT forward.  His nap is about 1.5 hours and then in the afternoon tends to get seriously OT.  This has led to him becoming really aggressive and he has begun scratching and biting out of frustration (often objects, sometimes me).  For the last three days he has refused his milk before bedtime, which was always part of his bedtime routine.  He is now crying to sleep and we have to be in the room with him until he is completely asleep or he just starts crying again (previously was very happy to go to sleep by himself for naps and BT).  He's started waking at night occasionally.  He is having EWs more and more (woke at 4.55am this morning).  Obviously then I have to do two naps again.  I feel like I had a really balanced, happy, albeit super-active child and I've somehow created a monster.  I'm so overtired and stressed that I don't feel like I'm being as patient and I could be...

Is this just how hard it is to do the 2-1 transition or is this all a sign that I've jumped ship too early and should switch back to two naps???  I don't want to do the latter if the former is true as I'll just have to go through all of this again.

If anyone has any advice I would be REALLY thankful.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

What was his routine like on two naps? Some kids do better on a slower shift to one nap so instead of pushing both naps later you push the am nap and cap it while bringing the pm nap earlier so eventually it leads to one nap. Usually bedtime gets pushed later during this adjustment time as there needs to be more A time. I wouldn't say you have done it early, mine were all on one nap by 11 months.

This sticky has a bit more detail: From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

[Lins83]

Thanks for your reply!  Previously he was on something like:

wake up: 6.30 (although, as I said, his wake up times have always been irratic, and everything tends to shift a little depending on it...)
1st nap: 9-10.30
2nd nap: 2-3.30
bedtime: 7.30

This worked really well for a long time (which was bliss!) but now he won't go down for his 1st nap until well after ten.  Do you think i should cap the first even though he goes down later in the morning and keep the second one at 3ish (which is the absolute earliest I can possibly get him down just now...its normally more like 4 but from experience he does go down earlier if he gets a shorter first nap).

Thanks again!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

If he will go down earlier in the pm after a shorter am nap then I would try exactly that...idea being eventually the two naps kind of merge into one when the first nap is late & long enough that the second one can go. It seems like he might be higher sleep needs if he was doing well on two 1.5 hr naps and having a good night so possibly a bit longer approach to the 2-1 might work for him.

[Lins83]

Thanks a lot for your support! I'm starting it now and fingers crossed we get there!

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

How are things going?