9 1/2 month old wakes at 5:00am or earlier!

[mtsheridan]

My daughter will be 10 months in a week and for the past month she has been waking between 4:30am - 5:30am no matter what time I put her to bed.  She used to sleep till 6:00am - 6:15am.  Milestones this past month included getting her two top teeth and cruising.  She also "walks" around the room holding our hands or pushing her push walker.  We make sure to get a ton of practice in everyday.  I was having some problems with her putting her down for bed and naps and also with her waking up 40 minutes to an hour after putting her down which I assumed was due to seperation anxiety, but I've been doing PD and walk in/walk out and finally this last week she's been really good about playing in her crib a few minutes after I leave the room and then rolling over and going to sleep.  If she wakes she'll just let out one quick cry then roll over and go back to sleep.  (I have a video monitor).  I have been so exhausted with the early wake ups that I have brought her back to my bed to feed her and sometimes she'll fall back to sleep in my bed for about an hour, but that only happens about 50% of the time.  If I try to put her back down without feeding her she will become very angry and cry although she doesn't seem to be that hungry I think she just likes being with me.  If I feed her and put her back down she will play in bed and maybe drift off for 10 minutes and then is up again crying for me to get her.  For the sake of trying to get a few more zzzz's I've been bringing her to bed.  (I know bad me  )  It seems like she only will sleep 10 hours during the night no matter what.  She also won't nap more than 2 hours in total for the day although she is happy in between naps so it doesn't seem like she needs to sleep longer.  Should I try to push her bedtime later to get her to sleep until at least 6:00am?  I tried putting her to bed between 7:15 and 7:30pm for 4 days but she was still up by 4:45 - 5:15am those days so she only got 9 1/2 hours sleep those nights.  HELP!!!

This is our current schedule (first time if up at 4:30am second time if up at 5:00am):

4:30/5:00am wake up and bring to my bed to BF (sometimes sleeps another hour or so)
7:00/7:30am breakfast (oatmeal and fruit)
8:30/9:00am nap (usually will only sleep 35 - 40 minutes been extending to 1 1/2 hour by bringing to BF in my bed  )
10:00am BF
11:30/12:00pm lunch (yogurt and fruit)
1:30/2:00pm nap (usually will only sleep 35 - 40 minutes sometimes 1 hour - 1 1/2 if morning nap was short)
3:30 BF
4:30/5:00pm dinner (vegetables and rice cereal)
6:00/6:30pm bath, BF, read a book
6:30/7:00pm in bed usually asleep by 7:15pm at the latest

[momofclaire]

Hi,
I think part of the problem is that she has learned that she can cuddle up with mama if she wakes.  It might be tough but you probably have to stop that or be ok with it.  I do think she needs a bit more sleep during the day.  I would keep trying to extend her naps. Have you tried pu/pd for the early wake and the morning nap?

[mtsheridan]

Hw long should I aim for her to sleep per nap?  I have tried PU/PD for the early morning wake-up, but she will just get madder and madder.  When I do get her calmed down she is wide awake by that time and ready to play.  I am usually so tired during her first nap (I try to make up for my lack of sleep by napping too) that if she wakes up early I don't want to bother with PU/PD since it takes so long to get her down if at all.  Wake to sleep has worked in the past when she was taking 35 minute naps at around 4 - 5 months so I guess I could try that again.   Should I keep her bedtime around 6:30/7:00pm?

[momofclaire]

I would aim for an hour am nap, maybe a bit longer and a 1.5-2 hour pm nap.  You might be starting the transition to one nap.  During this time it is common for babies to take a shorter am nap and a longer pm.  She probably won't be ready for one nap until at least 12 months, some aren't until 18 mo.

I would start by not bringing her into your bed.
I would try to put her to bed early until you get rid of that early waking.  If she starts her day at 6 I would have her in bed by six.  Have you tried w2s for the early wake?

[mtsheridan]

Last night I put her down at 6:45pm but she played in the crib and then fussed and I didn't get her to sleep till 7:25pm!  So I knew she would still be tired if she woke early.  She woke briefly at 4:00am this morning, but fell back asleep almost immediately (thank God) then woke again at 5:00am.  I let her fuss for about 10 minutes to see if she would lie back down, but she started really crying so I went in and tried PU/PD which made her even more angry.  So I fed her and she did seem to be hungry and then put her back in her crib.  She didn't stand back up, which is always a good sign, but she was playful and would start to fuss whenever I attempted to leave the room.  I finally was able to leave her quietly playing by herself at about 5:30am and by 5:50am she had fallen back asleep.  She then slept till 6:45am (yay!) and then I got her up for the day.  I put her down for her first nap a few minutes ago (it's 10:00am) and she's just fallen asleep.  I will try to get her to sleep at least an hour and we'll see how the rest of today will go!

[momofclaire]

Keep me posted.  It sounds like things are going a bit better.
Myia

[mtsheridan]

Well...yesterday she took an hour nap for her first nap, and 1 1/2 hour nap for her second.  She was asleep by 7:30pm and up at... 4:00AM!!!  I tried PU/PD but I finally had to feed her again in order to get her to settle down enough to leave her playing in the crib.  She fell asleep by 4:30am but was up again at 5:30am and nothing worked to get her back to sleep then. I was exhausted because I never fell back asleep after the 4:00am wake-up so my husband took her for an hour while I slept a little more.  We just got up from her first nap.  She woke up ater 30 minutes, but I was so tired I took her into bed to extend it to and hour.  I guess I'll try to make sure she takes at least another hour nap and put her to bed closer to 6:00pm so when she wakes up at 4:00 again at least she'll have gotten 10 hours.  I wish I could fall aseep before 10:00pm, that's what kills me!!

[momofclaire]

It may take a few days to get into a good routine.  You did great not bringing her to your bed in the early morning.  I would do my best to not do it at all.  The more consistant you are the faster she will get the hint.

[mtsheridan]

Okay so yesterday looked like this

4:00am wake (pu/pd till 4:30)
4:30am sleep
5:30am wake & BF
9:00am nap (extended till 10:00am after waking 30 min)
10:00am BF
11:30 lunch
1:40pm nap (woke after 30 min, pu/pd for 25 min slept till 3:30)
3:30pm BF
5:00 dinner
6:00 bath, book BF
6:45pm in bed
7:00 asleep

Total nap time during day 2 1/2 hour
Total awake time during day 11 1/2 hours (due to extra time doing pu/pd)


Up this morning at 4:30am!!! Total sleep time last night only 10 hours!  (Including the 1/2 hour she slept after doing pu/pd for nearly 2 hours at 4:30am from 4:30 till 6:10am!)  Then she only slept 30 minutes and by that time it was 6:40am so we got up.   When does it start getting better?  Thank God my husband took her for 2 hours this morning to let me sleep.  She took an hour and 20 minute nap this morning after 3 hours of A time and is now on her 2nd nap.  I will probably do W2S to make sure she sleeps longer than 30 minutes.  I find doing pu/pd really screws with her schedule as it pushes everything back the amount of time it takes to get her to go back to sleep!  I wanted to put her down by 6:00pm last night but she was no where near ready after waking up at 3:30pm and I see we'll probably have the same issue today if she sleeps more than 30 minutes seeing how it's 3:00pm now.  Ughhh!

[momofclaire]

What is she like when she wakes at 4:00?  Is she happy, tired, crying?  When she wakes at 5:30 is she happy?  Does she have a good feed then?  Today she had 3.5 hours of A time before her first nap, does she do ok with that? 
Are you having any other waking besides 4:00 and then 5:30?  Could she really be hungry at 4:00?  She didn't eat after 6:00 the night before so it is possible that hunger woke her.  What do you think?  Are her solids pretty well established?
Hang in there we will figure this out. 
You are doing good not bringing her to your bed. 
Myia

[mtsheridan]

Here is today's schedule:

4:30am awake & short BF (about 2 minutes)
4:30-6:10am pu/pd (short BF at 6:00am - 2 min)
6:40am wake & BF (about 3 min each side)
8:45am breakfast
9:50am nap
11:10am wake & BF
12:15pm lunch
2:45pm nap
4:00pm wake & BF
5:00pm dinner
6:15pm bath, book
6:45pm BF & bed
7:25pm asleep (fussed a lot)

I would have put her down earlier for her first nap, but my husband was watching her this morning and didn't give Naomi her breakfast so she didn't eat till almost 9:00am. 

To answer your questions:

1. What is she like when she wakes at 4:00?  Is she happy, tired, crying? - She wakes up at 4:00/4:30am crying, immediately stands up in crib and yells for me, shortly turning into full blown crying if I don't respond.  When I go to her she grabs for me and will fuss if I don't feed her and yell bloody murder if I put her back down inthe crib.

2. When she wakes at 5:30 is she happy? - Same thing when she wakes at 5:30am (or like this morning 6:40).  She's happy as can be as soon as I'm holding her though & ready to play.

3. Today she had 3.5 hours of A time before her first nap, does she do ok with that?  - She is an extremely spirited baby, so she doesn't ever give any real tired cues, but I do think she may do better if I only let her have 3 hours A time before her first nap.  Today's A time was 3 hours 10 minutes and she had a good nap, so I'll try to keep it closer to 3 hours.

4. Are you having any other waking besides 4:00 and then 5:30? - She sleeps mostly through the night with the occasional wake up 30 min to an hour after first falling asleep but settles within minutes if I go in and lay her down and give her a few pats.

5. Could she really be hungry at 4:00? - I am finding I am having a hard time giving her her final feed before bed.  She is so spirited that she will squirm off a million times and then come back for a few seconds in between grabbing whatever is closeby.  I've tried feeding her in a dark closet for this feed, it didn't do any good.  So I try to offer it to her as much as I can between before and after bath, her book and then even while she's standing up in crib!     Last night I even reduced the amount of solids with dinner and gave her a few ounces of expressed milk along with offering BF for night feed but she acted the same was towards the bottle, finally got about 2 1/2 ounces into her along with however much she ate while BF.  If she was hungry she'd eat more right?  She doesn't seem famished in the morning, it's more of a comfort sucking I think and doesn't protest if I take her off after a few minutes.   ETA:  She just woke up crying after 50 minutes so I fed her again, she ate a full 5 minutes then went down without any protesting so hopefully that will top her off till morning...



 

[momofclaire]

I do think you should continue with pu pd in the morning but I think you should really try to get her to eat a bit better during the day because she could be hungry.  I am not sure.
I do think that her A time should be close to 3 hours.  Let me know how she does with that.

I am going to have Layla come take a look and see if a third eye has any more perspective. 

[mtsheridan]

Well, this morning she was up at 4:30am again.  I did not feed her and this time pu/pd worked after only 20 minutes!  Then she slept another hour till 5:50am at which time we got up.  I put her down for her 1st nap after 3 hours at 8:45am and she only slept 30 minutes  so I put her down for her 2nd nap after only 2 1/2 hours of A time at 11:45am and she slept an hour and 15 minutes.  That kind of put a kink in our schedule as her wake up time was 1:00pm.  I tried to get her to take a catnap around 4:00pm, but she just played through the whole thing.  I fed her dinner at 5:00pm then gave her a few ounces of milk in a bottle.  I put her down at 6:15pm after dinner and a bath and BF but she didn't fall asleep till 6:45pm so the poor thing was up for 5 hours & 45 minutes.  I am scared to see how that will effect tomorrow's morning...YIKES.  If she wakes up in a half hour like last night I will top her off again as she seems to take more milk when she's drowsy. 

She does eat quite a bit during the day as I always offer BF on demand in between her meals.  I read in one of the BW books that TRacy said it was okay for spirited LO's to "snack" because they are often "too busy" to sit still for a full feed at once.  So she does come up to me several times a day and pull on my shirt for a short feed.  She is gaining weight nicely so I think she must be getting enough. 

I may try W2S tomorrow morning.  I am going to read through the Baby Whisperer problem solving book again to see if it considered habitual if it's the exact same time for more than 2 nights in a row or just close to the same time.  Her wake-up times have been the following for the past week:

S   4:45am
Su 5:00am
M  4:30am
Tu 4:00am(fell back to sleep on her own)
W  4:00am
Th 4:30am
F   4:30am

I haven't ever tried W2S for early morning wake-ups (too tired to get up  ) only for naps so I have to find out exactly when to go in as I am reading conflicting times ranging between 1 hour to 15 minutes before the usualy wake-up!  Maybe it's different for every baby?

[Layla]

Hey there - sorry to hear things are tough at the moment . I had 2 months of early wakings so hopefully i can help out .

The one thing that really worked for me was an earlier bedtime. If she is constantly waking up at say 5am, you need to be putting her to bed at 5:30pm so that she gets a full nights rest. It seems counterproductive but it really really helped me!!! Even if she wakes at 5 in the monring, she's had a longer stretch & will be much easier to stretch in the morning. Give her a morning nap no earlier than 8:30-9am. I know its a long stretch but if she's slept well overnight, she should be ok to stretch until 8:30. Let her sleep for no more than 1hr. Sometimes a long morning nap can interfere with the morning wake up time. At her age, you want to limit her morning nap so that the afternoon nap is longer. So morning nap at 8:30 if she is waking at 5am, & 9am if she's up at 5:30am. I used to be able to keep Jasmine up from 5-9am (very hard) but keep the last 30mins very quiet. Longer windown so that she settles better for a nap.

Then put her in the cot for the afternoon nap at 3hrs MAX (that is in the cot by the end of her A time). Because of the long stretch in the morning, the afternoon A time has to be shortened. She "should" be takign a longer pm nap (since her morning nap has been cut). So something like this:

5:30 - wakes up
9am - morning nap
10am - mronign nap ends
1pm - afternoon nap
2.30 - afternoon nap ends
5.30-6pm - bedtime

Her "wake up" time "should" adjust within a few weeks & then slowly you can start adding 10-15mins to her morning nap, her afternoon nap & bedtime.

I was there for almost 2 months & what really stuffed me up was putting her down for the night 1hr later in the hope that she would one day take to it & wake up later. Totally messed her naps up, messed her nights up & she was cooing & ready to start the day at 5 in the morning. Then I went back a step & adjusted her bedtime to her wake up time & about 2 weeks of playing around with A times came to a 6am wake up.

hth
Layla

[mtsheridan]

Layla,

Thank you so much for the info, you've given me hope!  I will definitely start implementing your suggestions first thing tomorrow!  I just hope things don't get all screwed up when we are out of town 4 days next week.  She used to sleep at my parents with me when I commuted to work 3 days a week, but it's been about 5 months since she hasn't slept in her own bed every night with the occasional night at grandma's with us.  Hopefully she'll adjust quickly, she'll be in the same room as my husband and I so hope we don't cause even more night wakings!!