BabyWhispererForums.com
EAT => Eating For Toddlers => Topic started by: Mama2boys on May 18, 2008, 19:23:04 pm
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Hi all,
I have made disasterout blunders along the Way and now eating is in an absolute state.
Basically DS has to constantly be distracted to feed him. He self feeds finger food (steamed veggies) but only what he really loves and the main meal has to be spooned into his mouth.
Distraction requirements range from boxes and lids on his high chair for him to play with to standing by the music system to eat. He eats fruit running around the house and to be honest I am not so bothered by that as long as he will eta main meal properly.
The same goes for milk, he needs to be shown and read a book to drink milk. We have recently moved to sippy cup for morning and afternoon milk and only night milk is in a bottle. His milk intake from sippy cup is half of usual but w have been staying with that.
All in all eating habits are miserable and its all my fault. But I desperately need to sort it...help please....
Thanks a ton
Mukta
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Hi Mutka....
we were also in this AP trap about a year ago.....around the time oscar turned one I think,,....also found out at that stage that my childminder (usually worth her weight in gold) was distracting Oscar with telly on for meals!!!
In my case, I think I wanted him to eat more than he needed and the only way to get those last few spoonfuls (or half a bowl) into him was by distracting him....plus, he's a hot hreaded spirited little boy and once he learned to shake his head and clamp mouth shut for no, that was it....
I would say if Uday is eating finger foods nicely then start from there and try to make the whole meal a finger food, praise him for earing this himself, stay sitting beside his high chair, encouraging him, leave some food on a fork and have a second one handy for loading.
annabel karmel has some receipes where the finger food is a whole meal rather than a single food group, in itself.....one of my faves are courgette, onion and cheese sausages with egg, breadcrumbs and flavourings....I add garlic too when Oscars a bit under the weather.
thanks to our AP, oscar will refuse anything that resembles "mush" to today, for instance, thick soup, mushy weetabix (though he will eat it will milk freshly poured on top), spaghetti bol mixed up....pasta must be separate to sauce and meat....etc....
I think if we're honest, we all go thro feeding ruts with our kids, whether it's thro use of distraction, lack of variety, lack of patience at mealtimes etc with our kids.
the most important thing is that you are acknowledging it now and we're here to give you help....
I can post exact receipes for whole meal type finger foods tomorrow if you like...but now my pillow's calling me!!!
night night!
Siobhain x
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Hi Shiv,
That is so helpful thanks!
Would love some recipes whenever you have a few minutes please...
Thanks a ton and sleep well
Mukta
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Hi again you two!
We were going through a phase when Lois would completely refuse to be fed from a spoon (at about 9 months) and just gave complete finger foods meals. for example pasta shapes, steamed veggies like baby carrots or broccoli florets, and little pieces of meat/fish fingers etc. It helped, so maybe that would be worth trying. Shiv will probably have more exciting recipies to try than me though as I feel like the queen of boring meals right now...
Lois' habits are a bit different so maybe I should start my own thread here to see if we can get a strategy going to make things better here.
Can hear her upstairs now tho so maight have to leave that for later.
Just one thought... do you think we as mums create some of the eating problems because we over-worry that our LOs don't get enough otherwise?
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YES,
i am completly responsible for my LO's poor habits, have always been so desperate for him to eat and sleep properly :( and in all fairness it is realted, the day he eats poorly he sleeps poorly and vice versa..
feel free to join in Vicku we can all support each other on a poor eating habit thread :D..
Mukta
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Oh, thanks Mukta! I didn't want to highjack your thread, but if you don't mind, then I'll write here instead as I've not posted about it yet. We're all on a lot of the same threads at the mo :)
Well, I've always been very strict about only letting Lois eat at the table in her high chair as I thought that would create good habits plus I hated the thought of having to clean up food all round the house (the kitchen is plenty enough for me LOL) so apart from if we're visiting someone where the kids eat in the livingroom or we're out all day with the pram or so, she always eats in her high chair. Don't know if that is good all the time?
From the very beginning Lois was very fussy about which foods she'd accept, for example fruit she loves, but savoury things were harder (makes sense I guess). I think the AP I've done is to not insist on the things she didn't want but gave something else instead as I wanted her to be full... and ultimately sleep better... (same reason as Mukta) She used to have quite a big appetite and could eat lots of the things she liked, but would refuse to eat most things and be very selective.
Anyway, the problem now and for a long time has been that she blank refuses to try anything new and only eats a quite small amount of foods. I feel like I'm always feeding her the same things. I'd love for her to start joining in the family meals, but if we eat for example spag bol she'll only eat the spaghetti and some grated cheese, refuse to try the sauce and if we mix spaghetti and sauce she'll have a tantrum that lasts for 10 mins or so. She hates things being mixed up and basically will only eat things she recognises.
We've tried introducing new foods with old ones and she just leaves the new food or throws it on the floor. I've tried giving only something new and then we have the tantrum. I just don't know how to approach it anymore so any ideas would be great.
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hmmm Vicku, does she ask for more if she is hungry?
I was wondeirng what would happen if you offer her slightly less in quantity of her favourite stuff and let her explore some of the new stuff as an 'also' and give her more only when she has tasted/eaten some of the new stuff.
DS is also being a bit fussy about what he eats nowadays, so I can totally relate!
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She does ask for more a lot of the time yes. I wonder if she's old enough for starting to 'negotiate' about getting something after she's tried something else. It could be a good idea. Will have to try that. Not sure what to do when she gets the tantrums though. should I just take her down from the table then? Maybe I have to be harder with her than I have been?
Mukta, are your intentions to get him to eat by the table again without distractions? Maybe you could try and make the feeding process a distraction in itself? Finger foods could maybe work. Also at his age Lois started to get an interest in feeding herself more and more and he might be getting ready for that. If you help him put the food on a spoon or baby fork, then show him how to hold it and put it in his mouth. Maybe if you went out and bought a new set of spoon and fork he'd be more interested. I got Lois a set that were bent so thet it's easier for them to get them into their mouths and that was very good for her along finger feeding. It could maybe help getting the attention back to the food and the eating.
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Thanks Stacy and Vicku,
My intention is that at some point eats a whole meal on his own, without needing a toy/something to keep his hands busy and distract him.
I like the idea of using food itself as a distraction, and would love suggestions Vicku, At presnet I always give him loads of steamed veggies as finger food and a fork/ spoon etc to eat it with, at time she will have a few bites using the fork/spoon but normally prefers using his fingers.
He seems to be one of those kid who gets bored easily and has to have his hands busy. So if I am feeding him milk (he can but won't hold the bottle/sippy cup) he will play with his feet or something just has to keep his hands busy. Same thing with meal times, he will eat a bit on his own and then want to play etc but happily at times and at others unhappily eat what I feed him
His feeding schedule is as below, and Stacy you might have a point there about eating too frequently so would love your advise.
5:30-6:30 on waking 4 oz milk
7:30 bfast - cereal and fruit
9:30 2 small yogurt pots
11:30/12 or 1:30 Lunch followed by fruit (time depend son the nap)
2:30 milk 4oz
5:15/5:30 dinner and fruit
6:45/7 80z milk
would love you guidance on how this can be adjusted.
Thanks,
Mukta
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Thanks Stacy, this is absolutely worth a try.
Based on our lifestyle (need to leave for work etc.) I have edited it as below, please can you let me know what you think of the plan?
Wake-up and milk (4-6oz whateevr he will have)
8:30 bfast
11:30 lunch
nap
2:30 milk/snack
5:30 dinner
7:00 milk
I will try and offer milk with every meal, but I have a sneaky feeling it won't work, so do you offer milk instead of water? when does kaleb drink water then?
I am trying to avoid too much of liquid with the meal since that seems to fill him up, I'd rather he drink before after milk or water, whatever the liquid be.
thanks for your advise Stacy!
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Thanks for all that good advice Stacy! I think I have to be a bit harder with excusing her from the table if she doesn't want what's offered. I guess hunger would be her main motivation to try new things, as the problem is to even get her to try them. I've just felt too conscious of getting her to eat a balanced diet within the foods she does eat, but in the long term she really needs to expand this. It's getting ridiculous, and I always said I didn't want to be making special meals for her. I know part of it now is me trying to avoid the tantrums, but maybe I just have to face it and find ways of dealing with them instead or things will get worse with time.
Just a question, should I include the same new food for a few days in a row or a new one at each meal?
Mukta, I also think he might be eating a little too often. I notice with Lois that she won't have a proper lunch if she has a snack before and same thing with dinner. It can work if I limit the snack to something very small though, but I don't always give snacks. We have given milk only at wake up and bedtime (before brushing her teeth) for a long time now and DS probably wouldn't need his afternoon milk anymore if you give cheese/yoghurts too. I found she ate more if she only had water with her meal as like Stacy says, milk is quite filling. It might be a case of trying what works for DS, but limiting snacks, milk with meals instead of between, and cutting out afternoon milk and replacing with more calorific dairy producs like cheese during meals.
These are ideas for getting him to be properly hungry for his meals, now to the part of getting him to eat them without distractions...
I found giving finger foods in little pots (she loves if I give her the lid to put on and take off too!) in different colours, using different bowls and cups for different foods seems to delight her too. We don't usually do this but when I take her out I usually pack food like this and she loves it. Maybe that could be something to try? I also have a snack trap (if you've heard of them?) that could distract him and get him to eat by himself at the same time. Only really works for finger foods, but as he gets a little older he'll probably want to feed himself more anyway, with a spoon and fork too. Hopefully if he's properly hungry and he finds interesting ways of feeding himself he'll eat better. It might also be a case of doing what I need to do... be harder and if not interested, take the food away as they can't be THAT hungry really if they don't eat, can they? I know that's not easy to do though... maybe we can support each other on that?
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Oh Mukta, we posted at the same time :)
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so we did :D Hope you had a good night.
I think I am beginning to form a plan.
Will get rid of the afternoon milk and replace with yogurt and keep only morning and night milk, and spread out the rest of the day so to have 3 hours between every meal- milk or snack. lets see if that makes a difference.
He loves pots and lids as well, and thats part of the problem, as he gets so engrossed with that that he wont eat. But I think if I can get him hungry enough it might work, lets see. I will stay with water with meals rather than milk...i know he wont take milk and don't want him to reduce his water intake as well.
I too find it hard to excuse him when he does not eat and more than happy to support you through this...if only I could sort his feeding out I'd be so much more comfortbale with life as a mommy!
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Hi girls and welcome back Vicku :D
Your plan sounds great Mukta!
In our case, if Nicholas has anything else other than fruit btw meals - it takes the edge off his appetite and he won't eat. I absolute hate it when DH takes him to the family for a visit in the morning - he'll never eat lunch on these days even though I give DH strict instructions - nil by mouth! ;D
Nicholas has to be hungry to eat - otherwise he just plays. I think you have to find the right amount of time btw each meal/snack and maybe try the milk after the meal except at BT. Milk is a BIG tummy filler.
We had to stop giving the sippy of milk on waking as it stopped DS eating breakfast and kind of through the day out. Now he has it after he's eaten and much less milk.
Also, lots of activity always gets plates emptied in this house ;D
Lis ( I was just thinking that the eating area has been the ONLY area we haven't had problems in....yet :P)
:-* :-*
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I think I am beginning to form a plan.
Will get rid of the afternoon milk and replace with yogurt and keep only morning and night milk, and spread out the rest of the day so to have 3 hours between every meal- milk or snack. lets see if that makes a difference.
That sounds like a really good plan I think!
...if only I could sort his feeding out I'd be so much more comfortbale with life as a mommy!
So would I sweetie!!! You have my support too :D
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Hi Lis and thanks!
We've actually also stopped giving the morning milk on occasion as she doesn't eat breakfast til quite late if she has milk and same here throws the day off. Sometimes she asks for it though and then we'll give it, but aiming to get rid of it by the time she turns two.
Today she didn't want milk, refused breakfast completely, wanted to watch Peppa Pig 0) and then had milk at 10...hardly any lunch either so a weird day. Will give only a small snack still and hope she'll try some salmon for dinner.
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Don't jinx it Lis..
with every passing day I feel I have screwed up this kid with sleeping and eating 'issues', and a few temper tantrums to add to the mix...ahh the good life when you could get away with it all :D
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Hi girls....sorry it took me so long to get back here...have no computer at home apart from DHs laptop, which only comes home when he does...so here goes with finger food type recipes first:
1. cheese and courgette sausages:
6 oz breadcrumbs, 1oz butter, 1 medium onion finely chopped or even grated, 6 oz courgette (about half the avg sized one) grated, 5 oz cheddar cheese grated, an egg separated, salt pepper and veg oil for frying later.
fry the onion in the butter till soft, then add the courgette and let it cook for about 3 mins till also soft, mix in half the breadcrumbs (other half for coating), the cheese, egg yolk, a little salt and pepper. shape the mix into sausages or nuggets or balls whatever your lo will prefer, dip in egg white then roll in remaining breadcrumbs, the put in fridge if you have time to let them firm up and fry later. they don't fzeeze too well...
2.salmon rissoles...a fave of oscars and mine (so easy peesy ;-)
can red salmon (about 200g or 7oz)
1 medium onion finely chopped or grated
2 tbsp good quality tomato ketchup
1 tbsp breadcrumbs and another for coating
2 tbsp veg oil
flake the salmon then combine it with onion, ketchup and 1 tbsp breadcrumbs, make small balls/nuggets/rissoles with the mixture and coat it in remaining breadcrumbs, heat the oil and then saute the rissoles until golden. these can be frozen and reheated as needed...
3.
vegetable croquettes
10oz potatoes peeled
5 oz broccoli
1 medium onion peeled and chopped
1 clove garlic crushed
3 oz grated carrots
1/2 oz butter
4 oz cheddar cheese grated
1 egg beaten
flour
7 oz (you guessed it, my absolutley necessary ingredient) breadcrumbs.
cook potatoes till soft, steam the broccoli till soft, on pan saute the onion and garlic in butter then add carrot till soft. mash the potatoes, then mix in the cheese and then add the other cooked ingredients and season with salt and pepper. form into burgers/nuggets etc and coat with flour then dip in the beaten egg and then coat in breadcrumbs...then saute till golden....again these do very well frozen....
can add more later if you need...
as for the whole posting so far....I also got into the trap like I say of AP around 15 or 16 mths when Oscar wanted to self feed and I wanted it to be less messy, quicker etc...
I think at some stage you have to let go and then trust that LO will tell you when hungry...
3 hrs between meals is a minimum for them to be hungry at next sitting and just like Lis has said lots of activity is a must for a good eating day here...we don't do milk during the day and haven't since ??? I can't remember when, I think when Oscar refused his welcome home mummy bfeed at around 10mths.... here we have milk in the early am and going to bed only....
will write more tomorrow night....DH is a workaholic and wants laptop back!!!!
Siobhain x
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ooohhh those sound so yummy! Thanks Shiv. I am so going to try these out :D hopefully DS will love them!
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Mukta
Don't jinx it Lis..
with every passing day I feel I have screwed up this kid with sleeping and eating 'issues', and a few temper tantrums to add to the mix...ahh the good life when you could get away with it all :D
What are you talking about?!! I hardy call a few NWs and minor eating stumbles screwing up :( Get a grip! You are a fab mum :-* and we all strive to be better parents - that's why we use BW and chat to each other!
We all make mistakes with #1 (and some with #2,3 and 4...) but we learn by our mistakes and know that if we have a #2 it will be a piece of pi$$ ;D
And just as you are nearly there with the sleeping, you will fix it with the eating too - everything is about consistency with kids - that much I have learnt.
I read somewhere that you have to give a new food 15 times before some LOs will accept it. This was certainly true of us with the summer fruits. At the beginning of last summer DS refused to eat peaches, nectarines and melon etc, that he had eaten in abundance the previous summer ::) But I knew it wasn't that he didn't like them, rather that he had forgotten about their taste and that their texture was totally different from the winter fruit - apples, pears and bananas.
I didn't give up (fruit is seasonal here so I couldn't have carried on giving apples and pears anyway) but offered the summer fruit every few days without making a fuss if he spat it out. After about 2 weeks, he started eating it ALL :P ;) So it just goes to show that consistency is the key.
Decide how you want him to eat and make a plan - he will soon get used to it. Is it possible for you and/or DH to sit down and eat with him. We always sit and eat with DS and chat about the day and what we will do tomorrow etc. This keeps his attention during the meal.
Don't beat yourself up so much Mukta - being a mum isn't problem free -you are doing a great job!
Lots of hugs and kisses
Lis
:-*
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Thanks Shiv! I'll also have to try them, they sound so yummy I'll eat them myself if she doesn't :)
Agree with Lis Mukta, you've not screwed him up... don't be so hard on yourself hun! Great advice Lis! I'll definitely need to be more consistent.
Well, we got a reason to open a bottle and celebrate at dinner last night. I made butter steamed salmon, rice, broccoli and a lemon and dill sauce. she loves rice and likes broccoli, so had two things she ate, then put a bit of fish and a tiny bit sauce on the side for DD. She ate all the rice and asked for more and I just casually said 'if you try some fish you can have more rice' and she did!!! Very unusual and me and DH just looked at each other in amazement not wanting to say anything that might disturb her and get her to change her mind. She ate quite a bit of it :D
Just a thought... I'm unsure wheather or not to praise her for trying new things or just act as everything is in order when she does and let her get on with it. Feel like if eating gets connected to being good then she might rebell against it (as she does with many other things at the moment) I mean she shouldn't eat to please us, but because she needs it and wants to.
But would also like to be able to praise her as it makes me happy... What do you all think?
Back later, off to play group... x
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Vicku and Lis, you ladies are absolutely fantastic, I love how you brighten up my day and constantly reassure me...funny how much reassurance i need as a mom, but at work I am a confident monster :D
Vicku, with Uday when he tries something new I sort of give encouragement and excitement rather than praise..if that makes sens, so I wont Say 'good boy' and 'well done' I say stuff like yummy isn't it, or that was yumm or something.
Not sure if its right or wrong but that's what I do.
Good point Lis about continuing to push the new food, I will keep that in mind and try and be patient and
Vicku yesterday must have been a fish day as DS had a whole fish finger for the first time :D
hugs to you and your LO's
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That sounds good Mukta, I'll try that too.
Fishfingers have been Lois' favourite food for ages and she can eat 3! Feel like I'm always feeding her them, at least 4 times a week as she won't have any other meat/fish apart from hotdogs and slices of ham.
I also feel I need a lot of reassurance a lot of the time, and this place is great for that!
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Hi girls,
Well, today we have a perfect example of how eating in between meals affects DS's appetite ::)
DH and DS went to BILs this morning complete with tupper of strawberries and apple for DS's 10.30 snack.
The tupper came back full - so he hadn't eaten any fruit :( he had eaten a biggish biscuit (homemade) instead.
Now I have no problems him eating this AFTER his lunch or supper, but not before ::)
So, consequently he didn't eat any of the home made tuna and courgette (from the garden!) lasagne that I had slaved over a hot stove cooking this morning in his absence >:(
His lunch was 3 pieces of cucumber and 2 bits of chopped tomato ::) So he'll get lasagne again for tea :D
But imagine if DH's family lived next door to us - DS wouldn't eat properly at all :P
Sigh,
Lis
:-*
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Yeh - it's only common sense as you say ::)
Thank goodness it is only once in a while with the family. They think by giving DS cake and sweets they are treating him and being kind ::) In actual fact, it would be more of a treat :P(and kinder to his health) if they took him to the park ::) And Greeks are the worst for this kind of hospitality - we can't even pass our neighbours gate without being invited to share their lunch or dinner ;D
Actually,when we were waiting for the boat back to Aegina after DS's hospital appointment, there was a Greek lady with a shop bought filled sandwich. Nicholas spied the bread and started pointing at the sandwich and saying, "look mummy....!" I delved into my bag for an apple for him - but I was too late! The lady promptly gave me the un-opened sandwich and told me to break off as much as I liked and she wouldn't take no for an answer. What a sweet lady! No bugger would do that in England!!
Anyway, DH said he ate all the lasagne for his tea ;D
Even before I had DS, I would always ask the mum or carer before I gave any kind of snack to a child - that's common sense too!
How's the Grobag Stacy? We ordered the 0.5 tog for the summer too ;D
Lis
:-*
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Hi ladies!
I have definitely noticed an am snack is a no no. Pm snack ok if only offer fruit, but same as you, if she has a biscuit or sandwich she won't eat dinner.
Sorry to go off topic, but couldn't help noticing you're talking about Grobags. Are you guys still using them? DD learned to open all 3 of hers (all with different fastenings) a month and a half ago, so we stopped using them. Really wanted to continue with them to stop her from learning how to climb out of her cot. How do you get DS to keep it on?
Otherwise on the eating front nothing much has happened. We've tried a few new things but not enough. I have tried to be a little tougher on her re excusing her from table if she doesn' want what's offered, but so much else has gone on that I haven't had time to plan new meals etc.
How are you getting on Mukta? Any luck with him eating without as much distraction? Did you try more fingerfoods?
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Is he still in a cot Stacy? And if so did the grobag stop him from climbing out?
Brilliant idea about the shoe string!!! ;D
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Hi Vicku,
The one Kaleb and Nicholas have (they have the same exact one ;D) zips downwards so it's a bit more difficult for N to undo ;D - for now.... :P
Lis
xx
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a little bit of improvement at our end.
We now have a 3 hour ish gap between all meals/snacks and feeding is a bit better, we still have our days but its getting better, I am suing chatting as a distraction rather then toys/balls play things and thats going ok. lets see how long it lasts.
DS just learnt that he can now 'no' and that's a bit of a pain, and now ta ht he can sign more..he says no to chicken/meats/egg etc but more for veggies and fruit..not that I am complaining :D
Thanks ladies!
btw we never used a grobag...but sound like they are good. DS will sleep barelegged i.e. t-shirt and nappy and refuse seven a sheet on his legs!
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hi girls...
sorry I've been a bit quiet....finding it hard to cope with nausea, work, exhaustion etc....anyway, good things are a bit better....
I decided to stop snacks with Oscar too....and he's an even better eater now and is doing about 90% independently compared to about 50 to 75 before, prob due to hunger....
as for grobags....he still sleeps in his in his BBB! really regret the BBB though, though of course, as some of you know (Vicku for sure) Oscar broke his cot by bouncing in it...it would have taken 8 weeks for the replacement parts to arrive so we went with the transition which took about that long....but it's been EW ever since even though now there are no other probs....he goes down fine both for night and nap....but we rarely make it to anything beyond 6am at the moment....getting better though as about a month ago it was 5am....
have cut his nap to 1 hr and still making no diff in wake up time....maybe he's just going to be an early riser like me! this morning he literally woke up and ran to the door as my alarm was waking me up...I get up at 6am anyway but on the weekends it would be nice for that extra hour! especially now!!!
anyway, may try to jig around with it a little more!
good things are improving Mutka!
kisses
Siobhain x
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Glad things are improving a bit Mukta! Fingers crossed it'll continue in that direction. We're not really getting anywhere feels like. Tonight we were having swedish meatballs, new potatoes, cream sauce and broccoli for dinner. She only likes the broccoli, but only had a few bits then started whinging wanting yoghurt instead. We knew she was very hungry, so she could at least have eaten the broccoli, but she wouldn't so we took her down from the table and she went mad. Screamed for ages. Still didn't give in though, but before bed I made her some porridge as I was worried she'd be too hungry and wake in the night/too early. Should maybe not have done that? Or?
On the Grobags, we have 3 of them, one with a front zip that zips downwards, one with a side zip that zips upwards and one with a side zip zipping downwards. She learned to unzip them all and would do this as soon as we'd left the room after putting her to bed ::) She'd sit up, look for the zip and pull it... So far so good though, no climbing yet.
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Hi Shiv: sorry that nausea is still bugging you, well it should be gone soon so hang in there.
Hi Vicku: sorry that Lois is still playing up, must admit there are still days when Uday does. Like over the weekend, at my aunts place he just refused to try any salmon at all, he will open his mouth, take it in and then pop it right back at you, so you know he is hungry enough to take it in!
i think he probably wants to move from a highchair to a booster and sit at the table with us and eat (he enjoyed that at my aunts place)...am going to let it be for another 3 weeks but once we are in Chicago might try that routine...
Is Lois in a high chair or booster?
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Hi Mukta!
Lois is in a highchair with its own little table, but we put it right at the table so she kind of sits with us. We have tried a different chair that she is not fastened into and can climb into herself, but then she just climbs out all the time and won't sit still to eat at all, so sticking to the highchair for now.