BabyWhispererForums.com
EAT => Breast Feeding => Topic started by: Aly Mac on May 28, 2008, 02:42:11 am
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Just not sure on this one? wether I'm running out, or my girl is wanting that much milk, again!
I bf Lil once a day only, first thing in the morning. and she goes from 10mins each side to a good half hour all up, on and off. I have been limiting her to 10 each side, so we are not there for an hour ::) but lately she is asking for more when I take her off. I give her some cows milk and she takes some of that. But she's quite upset when I tell her it's all gone. Not for long, but you know, it makes me feel bad. She has started to hit my breasts part way through, which in the past meant she wasn't getting as much as she wants. If my milk was going, wouldn't she get cranky and stop nursing??? Instead of keeping on sucking???
any advice would be appreciated! oh, and yes, there is milk there, hence my confusion.
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Aleesa, your milk could be lessening, or maybe the letdown isn't as intense as before...that's what mine did after about 3 weeks of morning nursing only.
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Thanks Lynds. Is that when you ended up just giving her a sippy instead? I'm a bit confused as she still wants to nurse, just not sure if she is just liking to nurse, or actually wanting and getting any milk.
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Yes, we actually went to a bottle for a few days, then switched to a sippy. She was fine with it and never "asked" for the boobie.
If you remember she all but refused the boobie one morning (bottle of milk instead), so we tried the next morning just to be sure. She sucked a few minutes, but was unhappy. Gave her the bottle and she took more. The 3rd day we went straight to the bottle (and then the sippy) and haven't looked back since. <sigh>
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Thanks Lynds - the thing is she's not refusing it, she's wanting it more and more..... will see how it goes, and may have to go to the milk.... <sigh's> from me too
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Aly, is she teething or otherwise out of sorts? Lisi always went big time to boobies at any time she had something wrong either emotionally or physically. You've been bf-ing longer than I ever did and surely know way better than me, but have you tried switch feeding every time she pulls off? It's one way of getting to milk quicker. I think Lisi must have become dizzy the amount of times I switched sides, but it did help her, she used to paw me like a kitten when she couldn't get milk quick enough.
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Hi Katie,
well she was a little off on monday, and it's cold here now, so I thought maybe she was just getting cuddly LOL. Not teething that I can gather, but SA big time at the moment. Never thought about the two related (don't know why, when I did previously...) She doesn't actually pull off. I have to take her off after 10 or so minutes,and immediately she points to my boobs and asks more. she's slapping the boob about 3/4 into her 10 each side, but just keeps going.... I thought if it was the letdown being slow she would complain, not keep going. I think she's just in love with my boobs!
I'll see how tomorrow goes and let you know what happens.
thanks for your advice. anyone else has any experience, happy to hear!
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Ok, update on today. I did the 10mins each side this morning. when I took her off the 2nd breast, she asked more and when I said it was all gone she complained, but we got up and I distracted her enough, so ok. But she woke from her nap early and upset, and cried for nearly half an hour on and off afterwards. Towards the end she was pulling at my shirt and asking milk? I said there was none there til morning and got her some cows milk but that got her really upset - hands over her facing crying (so sad, and I felt so bad....). I managed to calm her down (with a kids show on tv - what have i come too...?) and then gave her lunch and she was fine. Until later that afternoon, it happened again - same scenario - was on my lap and decided she wanted milk. same before bed. It got to the point where I couldn't have her on my lap without her wanting my milk......
does anyone know what is happening here? and the best way to handle it, while not feeding her? she seems ok otherwise - it's rainy and cold here - maybe the weather LOL?
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It really could be sep anx as it doesn't sound hunger related. I have several friends of a more AP leaning who notice their toddlers going in phases as to how often they ask for milk, and it's usually emotionally based - one said it seemed that the more their LO was turning out to the big world, she'd need to then have a phase of reassurance and refinding her safe place, ie mummy and milk.
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thanks katie (sorry to pm you and the other mods...just not sure what to do for her). she has had bad SA for a few days. we went out Sat afternoon without her, and I did some chores yesterday for a couple of hours. I don't leave her with other people much, except dh, so it could be that added in..... it's just so sad when she put her hands over her face and cried...... I dont' want to go backwards and feed her, as I think it would get worse, and don't want her pulling at me all the time......
thanks again... :-*
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sorry, I'm battling with Norah and her 20 minute power naps as I write...
how to handle it without feeding her? I can only really say the obvious things - distraction, wearing a dress or some other thing so that she can't help herself so easily, hugs, stories and other reassuring one on one activities so she can get all the cuddles and reassurance she needs without actually having milk.
What is your gut reaction as to what's up?
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Well SA makes sense, but it's never manifested itself like this before. The other theory (LOL) is that because I"m limiting her morning bf, she wants it more. does that make sense. maybe limiting the morning is not the way to go...but if not, she would seriously be there an hour....
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That makes sense, but kind of a manifestation of the same thing - there's no way that she needs to be there for an hour for nutrition, but closeness. If it's at a point where you're no longer happy with the situation, or doing it her way do you think it may be time to stop all together?
Another thought on alternatives to feeding, I know somebody who's LO loves a cuddle with her hands on her mummy's breasts, though isn't feeding anymore. It seems to work for them...
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oh Aly....big hugs to you! I'm wondering too if it's not SA - you're such a comfort to her, and the boobs are sort of comfort personified. I would think if it was a supply issue that she'd be protesting while on the breast, not just when it's taken away. Katie's suggestions look good to me, I'm not really sure I have any new ideas.....I'll take a peak at some bfing lit that I have and see if I can come up with anything......
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Hi, just wanted to send some hugs. I've never fed for that long so i really don't have any advice, sorry. But it looks to me like its just a comfort thing too and what Katie has suggested sounds like it might be worth a try.
Does she ask for milk?
Kate x
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Sweety - I've just seen this, and as you know I can't offer you any advice - just wanted to send you some big ((((HUGS)))).
Leo is having major SA right now, so if you think it might be that and need to chat - you know where I am! :-*
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Hi, just wanted to send some hugs. I've never fed for that long so i really don't have any advice, sorry. But it looks to me like its just a comfort thing too and what Katie has suggested sounds like it might be worth a try.
Does she ask for milk?
Kate x
only in the morning kate normally. though all today...
thanks Sharon and Michelle....xx
Katie, i'm thinkikng maybe it's time, but if' it's SA stopping now may not be the best time - maybe after this spell.
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would you be happy to go with what SHE wants then or is that too much of a step backwards?
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Big hugs Aly - That does sound a wee bit like Marina right before we weaned. When we started the weaning process she got VERY clingy. I was fortunate to have a business trip where she had the milk from a bottle and then when I came back, we continued the bottles and she was able to make that transition.
What we did start doing right before the trip and reinforced it after was to start the morning with cuddles. She would still grab at my chest, I would offer her a bottle and she would still grab. After the trip, she didn't seem so insistent. She would grab a bit, but then settle in for the milk, and we would just cuddle more. We also cuddle a lot right before bed. Basically the two times that we would BF. We probably cuddle 15-20 min both in the am & pm. About the time that we would BF. We also would do it randomly through the day before too. When we cuddle she is in a pretty close position to BF'ing, but that she is slightly seated upright rather than right on the breast. But she is pretty darn close to that breast. It was intentional at first, but now is habit.
Of course, Marina was much younger through all of that than Lily is now. Hope that helps!
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Aly, I don't know if this helps or not, but this morning when I was giving Abby her sippy cup of milk, she pulled up my shirt and just wanted to stroke my breast while she drank from her cup. So if there's a way to figure out how to offer the comfort factor without the hour long nursing session (I cannot imagine what that must do for soreness!), that might be the key.....don't know if she'd take a sippy with the breast accessible or if that's just too much....
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Katie, I feel if I go with what she wants, then we would be going backwards. Maybe that's just in my mind and she would be fine. I don't know...will have to think on that one. I guess that's the conflict,hey?
Michelle and Alissa, thanks for sharing your experience. It certainly gives me some ideas, and will be trying them out.
this morning she wanted more after 20mins, and distracting did help, with dh. will see how the day goes. She is really clingy even with him this morning when he left, so it really looks like the SA angle.
will keep you all posted. thanks for the advice.
xx
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Aly...everyone is soo bang on with the SA...but I have a slightly different angle.
Are you feeling guilty? Even a little bit?
She may be picking up on a little guilt, and really pushing it because she can sense your apprehension. I know you were trying to limit her morning BF when this happened, maybe you are giving her mixed signals. Our LO's are sooooo perceptive to our emotions. Really tied to BFing.
You know when Graesha has a bit of a spill (falls) and I gasp, she always cries. If I just watch and ask if she's okay, she will go on about her business. Maybe the same goes for AM BF session for you guys kwim? Just a thought.
Hugs, hugs, hugs my love. I know this is rough on you.
Lyndsy
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Thanks Lyndsy. I do feel bad as when I tell her that there is no milk til morning (when she was asking in the afternooon) she put her head in her hands and cried! was very sad. They are very smart these little people.
Today was ok - there was no asking for milk, other than in the morning after she was finished, but as I said in previous post, she was distracted ok. I've been sick all day so we had a day at home doing nothing (cold and wet too) and really spent every minute with her. she did fuss when I left the room, but I guess we have to ride the SA out.
As much as I feel sad about finishing bf, this at least has me preparing in my mind for it - if that makes sense. I don't want to be overly emotional and taken by surprise (yeh, who am I kidding) so I need to prepare myself. After this bout of SA I think I will wean the morning feed (the last....) but will need dh I think - he's great, but so not a morning person, esp now it's winter. At least I'm getting my head (and heart) around it.
As I'm sick she has gone out to dinner with daddy (my nieces' bday dinner) so I am at home resting - cant' remember the last time I was at home at night by myself!!! (she will be fine with daddy, as if he's home, he is the flavour of the month!)
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Aly, a {{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you and get better soon. Enjoy your peaceful evening! Weaning that last feed was so hard, I was in tears but we soon found other ways and times for our cuddles. Infact Lisi still comes into bed and cuddles for a few minutes when we wake in the morning, I love it.
She's fascinated by Norah drinking, but when I offer her some she looks at me with mild disgust and tells me that milk's for babies. *sigh* how times have changed!
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well said Lyndz - Abby picks up on my guilt issues too.....
that Lilly is a smart girl Aly and she adores her mommy and her mommy's milk. I know dh helped with weaning the night feed, so I'm guessing you're right that you'll need him in the am too.
get some rest and feel better - with the SA and you being sick, now is not the time to stress over weaning!