BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Night Wakings => Topic started by: Lola's Mum on July 24, 2010, 21:19:25 pm
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Hi, just wondering if anyone might be able to help me work out the NWs I'm getting with DD. Not sure if this would be better on EASY thread or if this is the best place for it. Maybe a moderator could tell me. I'm so tired and really don't know if I can exist in this zombie state for much longer. It's worse than when having a newborn.
For the last week or so, she's been waking in the night at least once but often several times. One night she woke 9 times. She was poorly last week so that night could have been that she was ill. But she's better now and the NWs are still with us. Last night she woke at 11pm, 1.10 am, 3.30 and 6.20. Ouch. Part of the problem is I'm between homes and since the start of June, I've been moving around (a couple of weeks at my mum's, a week on holiday, 10 days house sitting, 2 weeks at my inlaws and now it's been 2 weeks at my mum's). During this time DD dud STTN but usually it takes a good few nights to settle and get back to STTN. But at my mum's she's never STTN. An additional problem is she's only had her own room during the 10 nights house sitting. There she STTN for a week. It was wonderful. At the moment, I'm at my mum's and she's in a travel cot 1 foot from my bed, so don't know if this is contributing.
I was wondering if the NWs are coming from a need to extend A times but she seems really tired when I put her down for morning nap, so not sure if it's this. She's also started pulling herself up to standing and don't know if it could be one of those developmental issues. She is sometimes on all fours when I look at her at a NW.
So, the important bits. I sometimes feed her during NW. I have to try and minimise noise as I can't wake my mum, who has a stressful job. It's not that she's said this but I feel terrible when Lola is shouting loudly. Sometimes I boob feed her and sometimes I give a bottle. She never takes much so I know she doesn't need feeding. At about 6 months I weaned the night feed. I think I feed her partly because I worry she might be hungry as I'm BLW and I'm not sure if she gets as much food as she would if she was on purrees.
Yesterday looked something like this:
Wake up and BF: 7.30
A: to 10.30
S: 10.30 to 12.30
E: 12.30
solids : 1.30
A: 12.30 to 3.30
S: 3.30 to 4.30
E: 4.30
solids: 5.30
A: 4.30 to 7.30
BT: 7.30
DF: 11.00 (she woke up then and I assumed it was hungry but she only took 1.5 oz)
NWs at 1.10, 3.30 and 6.20.
I've thought about W2S but I'm not sure when to do it. She had a phase of waking at around 2am and quite a few times she's woken at 6.20 but this one isn't the main problem. I was picking her up for a DF before and she was still waking at 2am, so I decided to just leave her to wake up on her own as it meant I could go to bed early. But lately she's been waking naturally at about 11pm. I've tried to give a bottle but she doesn't take much and then wakes in the night.
Today I extended her second A time to 3 hour 10 mins. I left her sleep a bit longer and she also fell asleep when BF on waking. She's a very lively baby and is crawling non-stop and today started standing up around furniture (and did it in the bath too!), so I don't know if she needs more daytime sleep. I like to do a 2 hour morning nap as it kind of banks a good nap and then if I go out in the afternoon, I know she's had the majority of her sleep already, as she doesn't sleep well on the move. I wonder if she needs a longer nap in the afternoon and whether her NWs are OT, even though she doesn't appear tired. Or does she need more A time. Oh, Im so confused!!!
Does anything stand out that I could tweak or is it just that DD is aware I'm sleeping 1 foot away and this disrupts her sleep? Any help gratefully received...
Sophie
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You said you sometimes feed at NWs, what happens at the other times? Are you able to settle her without feeding?
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Hi Anna
Well, I can sometimes pat her back and it will work but the other night when I did it, she woke again about an hour or so later. And last night, when I got to her and started patting, she got even louder. It was like once she'd seen/felt me she was going to make a louder attempt to get what she wanted. When she shouts out she does kind of roll over and put her head down like she's wanting to get to sleep. I do usually leave her initially to try and get off but it's when the noise escalates that I step in. When she shouts/cries, it's not like an all out cry but gets progressively more agitated. As my mum is in the next room I feel very uncomfortable about leaving her cry/shout for a bit. Last night I decided not to pick her up to do a DF but leave her wake on her own. She then woke at around 1am, around 3.30am and 5.30 am. Each time I gave in and fed her (stupid, I know) as she got so loud. I used to be able to rock her and if she was tired she'd put her head on my chest and relax. She wouldn't do this last night and just kept yelling, so I thought it was hunger. However, the first 2 times that I fed her, she was asleep in minutes. She really is using me to get back to sleep but she never used to do this. Also, she goes down for naps on her own and goes down at BT without help. With her it's all about not being OT and getting naps and BT at the right time. But I can't work out why she's waking and/or needing help getting to sleep during the night. I guess because it's become a habit perhaps. I just wish we were still living in our own place and this probably wouldn't have happened.
Any ideas? I really don't know if at any point she is hungry but she can't be at each wake up. It's hard to know when to feed. Tonight I'm thinking about trying to do a DF again (although she never gets through it without waking, so don't know if it disrupts her sleep). If she took some milk at, say, 11pm, at least I'd be confident enough to feel she didn't need to be fed.
I also made a mistake in my EASY. She has a BF before BT too.
Thanks.
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Personally I don't think she's hungry but that feeding back to sleep has become or is becoming a prop for night time sleep. Personally I would want to drop all night feeds at around this age, which will probably mean a few rough nights with PUPD, but then it will be over and done with. How about getting your mum some earplugs? I know it's hard. I don't honestly think you're going to be able to reduce the night wakings without some crying involved! The alternative is to wait until you're in your own place and deal with it then.
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Managed to get her to take over 4oz DF last night, so I was confident that I definitely would not have a hungry baby during the night. She woke at 3am and I left her to cry. It got pretty desperate but I persisted. PU/PD doesn't work with her as it just winds her up and overstimulates her. She settled herself and after a short second outburst went back to sleep. I turned the white noise up a bit and she then only stirred at about 5am but no other NW. She then slept until 8.25. I should have set the alarm!!
Fingers crossed she is well on the way to re-learning the rules of the night....that mummy isn't going to be picking her up.
Thanks for your help.
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:( I font know if you know this but the babywhisperer method advises never to leave a baby to cry. Even if you don't do PUPD, just sitting where she can see you can be a reassurance.
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l say cry but it's not actually a cry as such. It's more loud shouting/whinging and a forceful demand for attention. I would never do CIO or CC. She's very spirited and lets it be known when she wants something. Knowing lm 20cm away, and seeing/feeling me has been part of the problem, as she gets more agitated knowing lm there and wants me to pick her up and feed her to sleep even more.
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Oh OK, cool. Well I think you are on your way to solving this then!
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Hi,
Just wondered how you are getting on? have the NW's stopped? I am in a very simalar situation here, although DD (8 months old, 1 week old) seems to have suddenly decided to wake up through the night for me to replug her dummy. I am summoning up the courage to wean her off it... I am in quite a state of shock over it as she has sttn since she was 6 weeks old!! My body was used to having uninterrupted sleep so now i am like a zombie!! Not entirely sure what exactly is waking her up. She is also pulling herself up in the cot and crawling like mad, I do understand its a big developmental milestone for them which I have no problem with....if it doesn't last long that is..... ;)
Mac