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SLEEP => Sleeping For Toddlers => Topic started by: ~*Nicole*~ on October 17, 2010, 16:58:23 pm
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I've moved DD to a bed Fri. night. It is not going well, but she has climbed out of a pack n' play 2x on Wed. for her nap and 2x on Fri. for her nap and so I was tired of worrying about her cracking her head open! I read reviews for the crib tents and was worried that it wouldn't be much safer as others had complained about them being flimsy, the zippers breaking, etc. and they were expensive!
ANYWAY...she is not doing well. At night she needs me to stay with her. Fri. night it took 1.5 hours til she calmed and fell asleep and last night about 40 mins. Today we're attempting her first nap in there (yesterday was a car nap after a zoo trip) and it's been going on about 45 minutes or so and I've been up and down many times. I don't want to keep sleeping in there b/c I don't want to drag on the inevitable breaking of that prop.
I stayed with her originally b/c she had to move rooms and she was scared. The nursery is too small for her bigger bed and so she had to move to a new room (which isn't painted or totally ready for her yet :( as DH needs to work on it and he works two jobs and has no time!). I did buy her bright pink sheets and bring over as many things as I could from her old room: humidifier, rocking chair, blankets, music, etc. to make it as familiar as I could. We are going to the store today to pick curtains together and maybe a special lovey item that might make her feel better.
SO.....any other tips for helping her get settled into this new arrangement? She is nervous, a bit feisty, climbs out of the bed OFTEN and can stay awake for ages fighting sleep.
Oh, I tried a toddler bed first, but she's such a wiggly sleeper she fell out b/c it's so small. So now she's in a twin trundle bed with a rail and pillows under the bottom sheet making an edge she can't roll over. The trundle comes out from under a taller twin bed that serves as a "rail" along the entire other side and the head is against a wall. She seemed to sleep better in that and not fall out last night!
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Just hopping on if thats ok.We are almost at this point now and i know its going to be a battle to keep her in her room and although its been suggested to me im not a big fan of a baby gate at the door to keep her in.
hoping you get some response so we can all benefit from it!! Dont you just love these stubborn girlies.im worried making the transition to a BGB is going to be the end of nap time!!!
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Hi NAmom,
Why did you move her to a BGB? How old is she?
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She is 25.5 months old and she climbed out of a pack n' play twice at the house I babysit at everyday and her crib twice at home. I'm too worried about her hurting herself so I just decided it's time to move her for my own peace of mind.
I recognize that I'm having the same sleep resistance problem in either location but I'd rather work on it in the bed so she is less likely to hurt herself. Of course the resistance is ten-fold with the new bed as she is def. nervous.
It took 2 hours to get her to nap yesterday!!!!!!!!!! I did a LOT of going in and out. And last night I had to sleep in the room with her. I tried leaving her fall asleep alone, but she would get out of bed, call for me and at one point stripped down naked (she sleeps in a diaper although PT during the day as she is wet at naps and night)! I had to go back up and dress her and then get her into bed and me in the other bed and keep telling her to lay down sternly until she did and fell asleep.
I don't want to be trapped in there. Plus, staying during her nap doesn't seem to help at all!
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Have you considered a crib tent?
http://www.amazon.com/Tots-Mind-Cozy-Crib-White/dp/B00014PLAY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1287403363&sr=8-1
Or a toddler knob on her door so she cannot open the door? Considering how long it usually takes your LO to fall asleep under normal circumstances you could put a toddler knob on the door then put her to bed. My friend went through this with her LO. She would tell him good night and close the door. She said he got out and cried at the door for 15 min then fell asleep on the floor. She wasn't a BW. She said he eventually got the picture and stayed in bed.
You could also try a BGB party. Invite some family and friends over and make it a big deal that she is sleeping in a BGB. If you haven't already, let her pick out her bedding. I found when I transitioned my then 2.5 yr old I had her cousins come over for a BGB party and they helped make a big deal of it.
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We don't have many close family/friends with young LOs so the party idea is kinda out the window.
I read reviews on the crib tents and a lot of people said they were flimsy and the zippers broke and their kids figured out how to open them, etc. etc. They were expensive for the negative reviews and I was swayed to just move her.
I have a gate up at her door so she can't leave.
She did pick out a Dora blanket for her new bed.
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When we did the party for my DD1 her cousins were 10 and 14 yrs old so LO aren't a necessity. Just a couple of people will do the trick. All she has to do is show off her new BGB.
I think your shopping trip will be good for her too. Maybe reconsider the party once her room is complete.
Re: sleeping on the floor.
I remember seeing this on GMA
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/video/bedtime-kids-sleep-own-bed-9996318
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Thanks for that link!
That's kinda the approach I'm having to take I guess. I'm staying with her at night for now but then I'm going to stop and see if she can do it herself.
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Would you consider taking her to the mall and getting a brand new stuffed animal for her to sleep with at night? Maybe build a bear?
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Hi Nicole, sorry that the transitions turning out to be difficult. It looks like it's a combination of sleep issues, new bed and new room. Have you tried putting her in a sleeping bag, which would make it relatively harder to get out. It's by no means impossible but it is a deterrent. Can you just stand by her door and talk or sing to her? Kind of like gradual withdrawal?
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I used to use the sleeping bag/sack thing in her crib so she couldn't climb. I'm afraid to use it in the bed b/c if she does try to get out it might hinder her and she'd more likely slip and hurt herself than get out gracefully. If you are meaning a real sleeping bag thing...I don't think she'll stay in it. I think she'll just kick at it and get out. She seems to HATE having blankets on her these days.
I'm planning on trying a GW or WI/WO type plan today/tonight. I'm not sure which will work better for her. She used to not sleep with me there, but IS falling asleep at night with me there now. So GW may be better for this transition.
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Just a thought, I had another friend that literally sat outside her DS door for a few nights. Everytime DS would open the door she would quietly escort him back to bed. After a few nights he got the picture.
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For nap today, I left her room and sat at the top of the stairs with my back to her door after each time putting her back into her bed. She would get out, I'd go back in, put her in bed, walk out and sit at the top of the stairs. No eye contact and no talking. She cried and kept getting out, but started staying in the bed for longer periods each time. I had to leave, unfortunately, to get a flu shot and left DH to take over for me. He continued and she did finally stay in bed and go to sleep. Of course it was late and then he had to wake her from that nap so she wouldn't sleep so late in the day. I will be trying the same method tonight. I hope it goes well. This will be the first night I am not planning to stay with her. I told her already and she said "Okay, mommy." with no issue, but of course it will be different when bedtime rolls around!
I feel like this way I am not leaving her to cry alone, but I am not engaging her and I am showing her I mean business. I hope it doesn't take hours!
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Good luck! I think that is the best approach.
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yes that sounds like a good approach. Another thing I've been doing with DS is saying I'm just going to the toilet, or I'm putting the washing machine one, going to make some tea, somehow that seems to distract from the fact that i'm leaving him.
I hope bedtime went well!
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How did it go last night?
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I had to put her back ONE time and then she stayed put and fell asleep by herself. It still took her a long time to settle (a lot of that having to do with her routine being all over the place I am sure) BUT I didn't have to help her or stay in there so I was pleased.
I did have to go in and lay with her overnight b/c she woke and couldn't get herself back to sleep (although I heard her trying!). She was coughing and just having trouble. She hadn't been coughing or sick or anything prior to this so now I hope a cold isn't coming on to throw a kink in the works.
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Awesome news! Sorry to hear she has a bit of a cough but at least she is getting the idea about staying in bed.
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Okay, now any ideas on what I should do if she stays in her room without me and ends up playing the entire duration of nap time and doesn't nap????? I don't have a video monitor so I can't tell if she gets out of the bed very easily unless I stay right there. She has books and soft play things like stuffed animals but no "active" or "loud" toys up there. She literally just spent an hour quietly playing! She also peed in her diaper and decided to take it off but pulled her pants back up by herself b/c her diaper was "scusting" she said.
I always thought if she was quiet and not crying I should leave her be, but if she doesn't nap then what do I do? She is only 2 I KNOW she still needs a nap. This is the second day in a row of no nap!
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I used to tell DD1 when she was little that her body wants to go to sleep. It needs to rest so it can have more energy to play later. She would say that she wasn't tired but I'd counter with that her body is saying "Go to sleep. I need to rest." I gave her the basics of her body and said her heart and brain want to sleep but they can't without her. I know that probably sounds pretty dumb but it worked.
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I've tried that. :(
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I've also told her she isn't leaving her room until she took a nap. That worked too.
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I could try that, but then she might be in her room until dinner or bedtime! We shall see!
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do you think if you just let her do her own thing for a couple of days, the novelty would eventually wear off and she'd nap? Obviously each time you would stress that it was nap time etc, so not encouraging her to play, but in a sense ignoring for a few days? Then if she is cranky in the evenings you could say something like we need to take naps so that we can be happy in the afternoon.
I can't help thinking that eventually the novelty would wear off, and although it's not ideal that she doesn't nap a few days, at least it's in the dark and calm play. Though I guess if this were to go on for a long time you'd need to take some kind of stronger action, such as making her get back into bed when you catch her playing. or taking they toys in her bed away.
good luck! :)
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That's kind of what we're doing. Saturday she napped finally at 3:30 and was hard to wake at 4:30 so slept til 4:45! Then didn't go to bed til 10!!!!!!!!! Yesterday we had a Christening and luncheon over cousin's house and that lasted until forever, so was up again til 9:40 and only napped about 30 mins ont he car ride there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Again, yesterday, no nap. :( She had woken up for the day at about 7:15 or 7:30 (I can't remember now!) and so I put her up at 1:15 (She's a 6 hour to nap girl) and I finally went in and got her at 2:45 b/c she just played the whole time! When I went in, she had stripped down naked, peed on her bed and broke her magic wand and had water and glitter all over the bed as well!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had her in bed at about 6:45/6:50 and she was def. out within minutes (would have been earlier but I had to fit in dinner and a bath---she NEEDED a bath, was smelly!) But then she was up from 1:00am to about 3:30am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Clearly this not napping is catching up with us!
IDEAS???
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oh wow! that's quite a mess she made! sorry it's being such a struggle. :(
Could you threaten her with something? As in whatever she enjoys doing in the afternoon, dvd, certain toy, something... she doesn't get it unless she naps.?
Or basically WI/WO until she gets the message and settles down?
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Well, I wasn't sure if I should do WI/WO b/c she's not crying for me??? She's not that attached to any particular item/activity so I'm not sure that threatening her will help.
I did cut off the feet to a pair of pajamas and I am going to try to put them on backward at nap today to see if I can keep her dressed at least. I can't find my sleep sacks!!!!!!
Did just realize that she has a low grade fever so wondering if that is at least part of last night's issue. Maybe she'll be SO tired she'll pass out for her nap today. *Crossing fingers*
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So of course, today I put her up early b/c of being a bit sick....and she was out instantaneously at 12:30! I know it's b/c of being up so long overnight last night and being sick, but does that mean I just have to find the right A time before nap on a normal day when she's well rested and feeling well??? And could it possibly be longer than 6 hours?!!
OR will she fight no matter what if she's not ill/exhausted?
I mean, she's literally in the same position that I left her in...tucked in and everything! She never stays in the blanket!
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hope she feels better soon.
You could try putting her down a bit later on a regular day, but don't push too much or she'll go hyper.
I guess the WI/WO I mean is just making her get back into bed and constantly repeating that it's nap time not play time. Do you prepare her before nap time with a lot of 'it's nap time soon, which means we don't play, we have to rest and sleep.....'?
You could try offering a treat if she naps? Hardly ideal I know but just till she gets the hang of things maybe.
Does a good telling off work? Once DS got out of his bed and followed me out the room, I was on the brink of laughing but did a big act of being cross and said he should never get out again bla bla, and he hasn't-whether it's because of that I can't say of course, but it might be worth a try.
All the best!
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Being "angry" and using a stern voice, etc. don't seem to phase her much. I guess I could try to do a WI/WO by putting her back into the bed each time she gets out, but it's hard b/c she wants me to stay in her room and I think that would sort of reward her by making it so I had to stay nearby. I don't have a video monitor so if she's not loud it's hard to tell if she's out of bed or not. She has always talked to herself and "read" books or played quietly until she's gone to sleep so I can't tell if she's doing so IN her bed or OUT of it when I am not right there!
I tried a sticker reward for staying in her bed when we first moved, but it did nothing. It HAD been working for her to go to bed easily in her crib when she was giving me a hard time but only for about a week. I wonder if a really special snack reward after nap would work. Not sure what to make it as she already gets a fruit snack each time she goes potty! LOL Don't want to fill her with junk too much! Today would be a good day to implement it though...since she fell RIGHT to sleep. I could do LOTS of praise and give the reward and hope she remembers for tomorrow!
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yes bring on the praise today, make a really big deal of her good nap, that's a good idea. And maybe even a little treat- a special milkshake or juice or something? Just so that you can remind her tomorrow of what she got today.
Could you leave her door ajar so you can peak to see if she's in bed or out? If you do do WI/WO you'll need to keep a firm sort of attitude so that it's in no way a reward for you to be back in the room. Just get her in bed again, tell her to stay in bed and leave I think.
Sorry, don't have much experience advice, just brainstorming what I'd do if I were in your shoes.
xx
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I was leaving the door ajar until she fell asleep, occasionally she was closing it so as to not be seen! LOL
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;D you'd never think she was only 2! What's she going to be like as a teenager eh? :)
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I like the idea of rewarding her with something if she does a good job. I wouldn't reward with food every day. Create a basket with "coupons" with pictures of a ice cream cone, her favorite fruit, or snack on it and fill it with goodies from a party supply store or dollar store. Let her pick from the basket if she naps.
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Ooooh I like that idea. Well today she was proud of herself for taking a nap. I'm going to see if first just the whole verbal praise and being proud is enough for tomorrow. If not then I'll make the coupon basket!