BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Night Wakings => Topic started by: Pixie1 on April 21, 2011, 09:42:31 am
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I really need some advice. I know I've probably got into some AP nightmares, and don't know how to extricate myself.
DS2 is coming up on 12 months old. He is generally of a sunny disposition, very active (fast crawler, cruising, v. close to walking), very chatty and very interested in everything. He's a good eater - has always breastfed well, and is still on three feeds a day (more on this later) though he is starting to lose interest. He started to sleep through at a very early stage (about 7 weeks old), though since then lots of things have thrown him off - teething (he has 8 teeth already and chews on everything - he is medicated in the evenings with teething granules, teething gel, a bit of painkiller med and he also wears amber), colds, developmental milestones etc. He is a very light sleeper - DS1 (age 5) sleeps like a log, but DS2 is very easily woken. Our house is relatively open plan, so both children have an electric fan in their rooms, both for ventilation and for "white noise" to prevent DS2 from being woken by us moving around downstairs (and DS1 from being woken by DS2 crying at night).
DS2 currently has a nanny during the daytime while I work and DS1 is at school, but he will be starting at nursery in July.
He has one long nap a day - from about 10am to 12/12.30/1 depending on how long he chooses to sleep. He no longer has an afternoon nap (unless we are out in the car in which case he will grab a power nap of 10-20 minutes) - I have always followed his natural sleep rhythms, but to be honest, it's been nigh on impossible recently to let him have a proper nap in the afternoons because of DS1 - I have to collect him from school, take him to after school activities etc, so DS2 has had to fit in (poor little soul!) Both boys go to bed at 7pm, after a shared bath which they love, and then DS2 has a small amount of formula in a bottle followed by a top-up from me. Most of the time he falls asleep on the breast and I transfer him to his cot. Sometimes I have to hold him in my arms after feeding till his eyelids go droopy, at which point I can pop him in his cot.
The problem is that he wakes at night. Normally only once, but he will be TOTALLY wide awake and wanting to play, climbing around in his cot (all toys removed so as not to encourage him to play). It can take up to 2.5 hours to get him to settle back down to sleep. He's laughing, chatting etc - as long as someone is there with him, of course. If no-one goes to him he will scream the place down (our neighbours must hate us). It's almost like he's processing things that he's seen during the day, and his brain just won't slow down. Even if we cuddle him his arms and legs are constantly on the move. He just won't stay still long enough to let himself fall asleep again. If you restrain his arms his hands keep moving. If you hold his hands his fingers keep scratching at his sleeping bag... it just doesn't stop. He CAN sleep through - he did on Sunday night, and again Monday night, 7-6 - ideal! most of the time he just doesn't.
In order to settle him I have tried feeding him (which he doesn't need and doesn't really want, but sometimes it's just enough to get him sleepy again), cuddling him, PU/PD (a bit half heartedly, I admit), putting a hand on his chest in his cot to reassure him, gently restraining his arms to stop him from flailing about. In desperation - because I have to work, and I have to get DS1 to school etc, run a house, and in order to stop him from waking DS1 and DH who also has to work long hours and is often away on business - I have recently been taking him into our bed so that I can at least lie down next to him while he calms down enough to go to sleep. I have never tried CIO, I don't believe in it, but I'm not a "rush in at the least little whimper" person - if he wakes and cries I leave him to see if he'll settle himself, and only if he really cranks it up do I go in to settle him.
For example: yesterday he woke at 6am, fed and ate breakfast as normal, went up for his nap at 10am, woke at 12.30, fed and had lunch as normal, played, went out for a trip to the garden centre in the car (almost fell asleep on the way home but the garden centre is only 10 minutes away from the house so not really enough time for a power nap), ate dinner as usual, bath, bottle/boob as normal, fell asleep on me and transferred to cot. He was then awake and crying fit to bust at 2.15am, I went up to him and held him to reassure him, and to try to get him to settle down, but to no avail. I also put him back in his cot when he was calm and sat next to him with a hand on his chest - but he just thinks it's funny and keeps trying to roll over and laughing and scratching at my hand. After an hour of trying all this, I gave up and took him downstairs to my bed. Eventually he fell asleep again at a quarter to 4. (Then DS1 turned up in my bed at 6.30, waking his brother... but oh well)
It's an odd situation - he doesn't seem overtired except at bedtime which would be normal after a long day of playing and considering he is normally awake for 6-7 hours straight in the afternoon. He has grumpy times like any other 11 month old (normally when he's hungry or bored or wants a cuddle) - but is generally a happy soul. He was entertaining all the elderly people in the garden centre yesterday, he's a joy - except for this one thing. It's just the sheer length of time it takes to get him to settle down again that is SO wearing when I have to work as well.
Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm lost for ideas.
Thanks
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I am thinking he is OT. If you need to do 1 nap, can you push it to a reasonable time? If not, then you will need a cat nap of some sort. If you have the school run, can you do a short cat nap in the morning and then a longer nap in the afternoon? You would still be able to pick up the other child this way right? A lot of moms are in the 2-1 at this point. http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=145285.0
Does your LO have independent sleep at all? You do have some AP going on. What are you willing to tackle? I would think at this point you are doing a little bit of PD and then WI/WO. So laying him down, then leaving the room and coming back when he cries. http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0
What do you think?
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Thank you for your advice. I remembered that DS1 went from 2 to 1 at about 14 months, and I had to push his morning nap later to eradicate the early waking problem, and came to the conclusion this afternoon that if I pushed DS2s nap a bit later he wouldn't be so overtired at bedtime (maybe!) and thus might sleep a bit better at night. I think I'll give that a try. the problem is going to be when he goes to nursery - he won't get 2 hours sleep there, it's going to be evil.... anyway, I can only work with what I have now.
Thanks again
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One thing at a time....see what you can get with a shorter A until bed. If that doesn't work, i would try 2 naps. Good luck. :)