BabyWhispererForums.com
EAT => Breast Feeding => Topic started by: ZacsMumme on April 03, 2012, 07:35:06 am
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I'm not sure if this is the right place :-\ feel free to move!
So Z is almost 18 months. I never thought I would still be Bf him! It is only 1 feed before bed and he is showing o signs of wanting to wean. He is touchy spirited, but very very sensitive to change so I'm not keen on just stopping IYKWIM
Suddenly I'm getting comments after asked if I'm still BF ie
'oh as long as you aren't doing it when he's 5'
'really? Why?'
Or a patronizing 'good on you' followed by 'I couldn't imagine still BF my LO' like its now weird
Why does it go from 'you must BF' to 'OMG gross' in like 6 months ::)
If you are or have Bf past 15-16 mths What do you say when asked about it. ESP to older people (less in touch with the benefits etc) or bottle feeding mums (I'm not saying all!!) who think its gross :(
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I get this a lot!! This post may seem a bit ironic given my other post at the minute! :P
Lots of people keep hinting that I should be weaning that BT feed but for LOs of a comparative age to C who have a bottle before bed, nobody suggests that BT bottle should be weaned or given in a cup.
WRT what I say: both C and I are still enjoying it. For me as a working mum, it is lovely that I get to have that bedtime snuggle and feed her after being apart from her for 4 days per week. C is very routiney so she expects the boob first thing on a morning and at BT so I know for us she might not ever fully self-wean so it may be that I need to gently push for that and that will involve small tweaks to her routine (like this morning!)
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It is noone elses business, crikey 18 months is still a baby FFS, sorry but that is so annoying ::)
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I am getting this now at 12m!!!!
I actually tell them I plan on doing it till she starts work....
And will probably meet her in town on her nights out for a quick top up!!
Laugh laugh subject closed!! :)
Hang in there Sara, and hugs xx
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Yeah, starting to get this at 11.5months too :( DS does still have 4 feeds a day though, so I leave work and go up to feed him at day care on the two days I work... I just work through lunch instead but still reckon I'd spend more time away from my desk if I was a smoker.
Fact is, he STTN 12hrs+ if he has his feeds, if I drop one, he wakes for a feed in the MOTN so I figure he needs it.
Not sure how to respond but listening in :)
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The WHO reccommends BF till 2 years!! And honestly- if it's a bed time feed- in the privacy of your own home- then who cares!!! I can't believe people are getting grief at 11 and 12 months!! Becj- you and your EXTREME breastfeeding!!!
I think in the past that BFing was weaned a lot earlier- mum weaned us at 9 monts and that was pretty much the norm.. onto COWS MILK! Crazy!
I'm planning on doing exactly the same as you Sara- keeping the BT feed till 2 years.. I'll practice my 'face' and responses now!
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I just stopped bfing L 2 weeks ago, shortly after she turned 18 months. From 11-18 months I was just bfing once/day when she woke. However, if it did come up in conversation (which it didn't much - I think most ppl would never have imagined I wld have still been bfing then) I did feel slightly embarrassed admitting that I was.. and was wary of how they might react.
There are so many things in parenting where you will get annoying comments from others (sleep training, discipline, eating habits...) I think this is just another one of those areas where ppl have strong views and/or the potential to say something annoying/offensive (perhaps without meaning to), esp perhaps some mums who FF their babies who may be a little defensive/guilty about not having bf (I am thinking of one of my friends in particular here..)
I wonder what a 'good' response/comment would be anyway, without sounding patronising!
Basically, I guess what I'm trying (not very concisely!) to say is stick to doing what you want to do and think is best for Z and try not to let other ppls comments get to you. I think it is inevitable with being a parent that ppl will saying things that annoy/offend us sometimes.
Claire - I love your response. LOL Sarcasm is usually the best way to close these kinds of 'conversations' isn't it!
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{{{hugs}}}
I just tended not to talk about it. I'm still feeding R and she is nearly 18 months and I mentioned it to a mummy at school the other day as we were discussing MPI and she actually said 'good for you, you do what suits you all best' and that is the first positive response I had gotten!
If people push I tend to say the WHO recommend BFing until 2YO so am keeping in line with that!!
It is only 1 feed before bed and he is showing o signs of wanting to wean. He is touchy spirited, but very very sensitive to change so I'm not keen on just stopping IYKWIM
Maeve never would have self weaned either. i weaned our final feeds at 19 months as I was pregnant with Rosa and my boobs and nipples were so sensitive and I also wanted to have my boobs to myself for a bit before starting all over again. I also didn't want to tandem nurse and wanted her weaned a good while before the baby came so she didn't associate no BFing with the baby. She actually weaned fairly easily and settled for snuggling with her hand down my top (which we then weaned a while after!!)
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Hmm, I felt this too. In fact I stopped talking about it once DS got to 1 year old. People stop asking too, interestingly.
However, thinking the older generation would be a bit stiff upper lip about it, I was expecting DH's grandma to be surprised, and she said 'well done, it's the best thing ever'.
I tend to remind people it's recommended until a child is 2, AND natural weaning can be as long as 4 years old. And then I stick my tongue out at them!
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I fed till around 15 months when we were both ready to stop. DS was probably ready a good few months before me! I know exactly what you mean about people's comments. It really does feel as if bottle feeding is still seen as more normal than breast feeding once you get past the newborn phase. So sad. I was the only one in my coffee group who fed past 6 months. People seemed quite incredulous about it as if it was a major feat when to me it was utterly normal and easy. Like Shiv I never really talked about it too much to people as it was just our night feed so kind of personal.
When people did comment I just used to say how much I loved our final snuggle for the day together. Funny though, just met up with my coffee group tonight and they were all asking how long I was planning on BF this time. DD is only 7 months old and it's not something I have even thought about really, I just will until we are ready to stop. Such a funny mindset to have.
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Lots of people keep hinting that I should be weaning that BT feed but for LOs of a comparative age to C who have a bottle before bed, nobody suggests that BT bottle should be weaned or given in a cup.
I too found irony in that fact, with some people I knew still giving a bottle at 3yo, it is about perspective.
For me I just didn't talk about it. There is a boy who does sport with DS2 whose younger brother is about 3 (youngest of 5 children) & the Mum quite happily popped out her breast & gave him a feed at the sports field the other week- while carrying on a conversation with me & I'd only ever met her DH before that... IMHO the people who comment are rude & I kind of said as much to someone I knew.
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People seemed quite incredulous about it as if it was a major feat
I tell you what- the major feat at this point would be stopping! I think DS would go crazy if i shut the milk bar! Boob man in the making ;P
So rude!!
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Stan was BFed til he was 2 but to be honest I don't recall that it ever came up as a topic of conversation. As you say, his BFs were first thing in the morning and last thing at night, so who would even know? If anyone did question it they would be met with a quick response that WHO recommends BF until 2, isn't it a shame that more people don't know that and aren't I lucky that he will still let me BF him!
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Dylan was over 2.5 before we finally dropped the bedtime feed 'permanently' (between 2-2.5 it was off and on, I was doing don't offer, don't refuse weaning). Because it was the bedtime feed I really just didn't talk about it tbh (though it's a shame that that's the way it is), and those that are close to me were supportive.
(((hugs)))
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I wasn't as "extreme" ;) but whenever it was mentioned (and to be fair I never had a negative comment) I'd say "yes I guess I'll go and poke my boob thru the fence at school when she's on her lunch break" ;D
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I wasn't as "extreme" ;) but whenever it was mentioned (and to be fair I never had a negative comment) I'd say "yes I guess I'll go and poke my boob thru the fence at school when she's on her lunch break" ;D
Lol Charli. My MIL says that to me all the time! Not in a horrible way at all. We joke all the time about what a boob addict C is! ;D
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I would so be dealing with this if it weren't for E's intolerances.
She still has a cuddle every night where she rubs my chest and snuggles her cheek right against my upper bb. I've had to trade all of my t-shirts in for v neck shirts because she was stretching all the necks of my shirts and ruining them. She now happily unzips my sweater so she can have her bb time and cuddle and I have no intention of breaking that habit for a while. And this started exactly the day I weaned her. One night her nails were too long and scratching and I tried to fend her off and she lifted my shirt and her pj shirt so our bellies could touch and had herself a little giggle because of how clever it was.
Now I don't tell many people she does that because I will passionately defend it. Dh loves that she does it just with me because it's something special and it helps me as I was so sad to quit bfing .
I think if I were in this boat, my response would be "yk, I'm surprised I was able to continue this long and I'm thankful because the WHO now recommends to age two." But I did have people suggest giving up at six months so I know what I would have been in for ::)
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DS is 2 and I still BF him - 2 times a day! Only before nap and BT (not to sleep just to relax) and occasionally during a NWing if he is sick/teething.
I am very open about it and have zero shame. If someone does make a negative comment I always say that Health Canada/WHO recommend BFing until 2yrs and beyond. That shuts them up.
I think that most people are actually impressed that we've managed to go so long. It is all DS's doing - I was fine to stop BFing DD when she weaned herself at 16 months. But DS is going strong. I am now starting to feel like I'm ready to wean him so we have been discussing that BFing is really for babies who don't eat with a fork and drink from a cup and that he is a big boy eating really healthy food and drinking milk from a cup. It's starting to sink in for him I think...
Just hold your head high and know that you are doing SUCH a great thing for your LO!! And following top health agencies' advice!!
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I don't know if I just come across as scary or what ;) (I'm not at all!) but I haven't had any negative comments. No one really asks, but if they do, I'm just honest and say we're still BF and will stop when DD is ready.
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Lots of people keep hinting that I should be weaning that BT feed but for LOs of a comparative age to C who have a bottle before bed, nobody suggests that BT bottle should be weaned or given in a cup.
^^THIS!!!! My friends almost 3yr old has a BT botle and its less of an issue than me BF Z at BT at 18 mths old!
I actually tell them I plan on doing it till she starts work....
And will probably meet her in town on her nights out for a quick top up!!
LOL!
The WHO reccommends BF till 2 years!! And honestly- if it's a bed time feed- in the privacy of your own home- then who cares!!!
I know, and apparently they are looking at changing this to 3 yrs. The problem is just because WHO recommend it doesnt mean it is acceptable to some people. It is actually mainly my MIL family that are asking then looking grossed out. One made a comment she found it gross that she was at a clients and her LO climbed up for a feed at 2 yrs. The thing is
a) I dont do it in public with Z anymore. Hes not interested anyway then!
b) really, disgusting? - No wonder we have so many freaking problems in this world. ::)
Lol Charli!
I guess I never bring it up, but everyone says 'are you still BF Z' - that is the question - which starts the comments. :-\ Ive tried yes (Thats it) but get questions. Ive tried Yes - defend myself in here ie WHO recommendations and it is a bit better, usually get an eye roll though or funny look .
DOnt get me wrong. A ton of people are supportive of it. But its those that arent that stick, and they are starting to get to DH :( He is saying when are you going to wean ...
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(((hugs))) I think it is up to you how long you want to feed him, and you should try to just shrug off the negative comments (I know, easier said than done). I fed dd1 until she was 14 months when I was pg with dd2 and then dd2 till 18 months when I fell pg again - I never really had a time frame in mind with either of them, but just kept going until it seemed like the right moment to stop.
I don't really remember getting any particularly negative comments, although I also remember that it didn't really come up. I'm pretty sure that I will be feeding ds for a while to come, not least because he can't have cows milk which limits the options for weaning, and I will probably go with the line that the WHO recommends feeding up to 2 years if I do get comments.
Having said that, my mother is already asking when I am going to wean him, not because she has a problem with extended nursing, but because it is awkward cooking for me without dairy. She thinks that I should get him onto "proper" milk as soon as possible so that I can eat whatever I like, thus completely missing the point of "dairy-free"!
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(((hugs))) Sara - that's such a shame that you're getting those kind of responses :( And just a shame overall that the benefits of extended bf aren't so widely known yet... I think this is beginning to change in the UK, I hadn't even realised that people went on beyond a year until attending a breastfeeding workshop towards the end of pregnancy, which was the first I'd heard of the benefits. Since having DS, I've met a couple of mums who've continued until there LOs were 4ish, including tandem bf, so I feel lucky to know them as it certainly helps bf-ing for 18mo to not seem long! I look to these mums as great examples for challenging the preconceptions that people have, and although it's not great getting negative comments, maybe you can take some comfort from knowing that you're helping to change people's mindsets on this issue, even if they won't admit it right now? I'm also 'still' bf-ing my 18mo DS but only 1st thing and at BT, so no longer in public (well,I have done recently at the Dr's surgery when DS was v ill with upset stomach and hadn't eaten or slept - I will still bf during the day in those kinds of situations where he probably needs it). But as I said, it doesn't feel strange to me, and the only negative comments I've had have been from my mum (who weaned us all at 9mo), to which I just respond matter-of-factly with the WHO recommendations and say that I don't see the point in stopping just yet. I mean, for all those who don't see the reason for continuing, can they actually give a good reason for stopping?? Surely that's the real question!
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for all those who don't see the reason for continuing, can they actually give a good reason for stopping??
^^^ This. I would be very tempted to simply ask why they are so concerned that you stop BFing Z... it's between the two of you and no one else.
Funny that you posted this as I am struggling with the opposite and my DH (a smart boy at times) gave me this bit of advice when I mentioned that I felt it was time to get rid of DD's last two bottles soon (will be 18 months in about 6 weeks)...
"If you were breastfeeding, you wouldn't think anything of it would you? It's simply because it is a bottle... really no different than a boob."
He has a good point. Keep on BFing hun and don't worry about anyone else.
I like the idea of mentioning that you might BF him until he starts working :)
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I can't believe people get grief for this! Ds self weened at 11 months but I wanted him to have the health benefits of breast milk so pumped for another 1 1/2 months. You ARE lucky to still be doing it. Don't let others taint that!
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I always get commente on this because I am on elimination diet but am not allergic myself, so it always comes up as part of that conversation. E.g. At work, 'why can't you have the cake/ pie, etc? but you used to.... Oh, you are still nursing.... Ah?!'
I say the WHO 2 year thing and that the formula tastes so foul I have not got the heart to make M drink it. I say if he could have cow milk he may have self weaned earlier. Plus with all the allergies and asthma it is good to have a way to instantly comfort him. Usually people roll their eyes but they have no kids so who cares. Those in my acquaintance either also stil BF same age kids or accept it or may be a bit defensive of their choices, in any case it does not seem to have the sting in it.
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Or some people did say that I BF M because he is a boy hinting at some wierdness. I just ignore it. Elza self weaned at 13 months M is taking longer. At least it is a good supply of calcium. Otherwise we'll need supplements. A lady at the nursery was supporrtive and said her 3 y.o. still seems to be comforted jutpst holding on to her boobs before bed (similar to what Shiv said earlier).
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"yk, I'm surprised I was able to continue this long and I'm thankful because the WHO now recommends to age two."
THis is nice- as there's oftern a feeling that by saying 'i'm doing it till 2, or the who recommends' etc that if they didn't that they are in some way not doing the best thing for their child- you know, through your actions you are unintentionally indicating that they are wrong...
I hadn't even realised that people went on beyond a year
I wasn't aware either- but even a cursory read of any info tells you otherwise!
Or some people did say that I BF M because he is a boy hinting at some wierdness.
::) Isn't this a sad reflection on our society!
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I agree Katy, a very sad reflection of our society.
People seem to forget what boobs are really for! Yes, I suppose they have another role too but breast feeding really is the whole point of having them!
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And while you are breastfeeding that's the only role they do have!! (around here at least!! between the unsexy nursing bras, and the likelihood that i'd start leaking at any provocation it's been feeding babies exclusively!!)
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Both mine self-weaned before 18 months, but if anyone had asked me for no real reason at that age, I would probably have said, "Why do you ask?" without actually answering the question. If pressed, I could say that I'm tired of hearing from people that I should/shouldn't be BFing and I'd rather not talk about it, thanks, unless it was a friend I knew would be supportive. It's really nobody's business, when you get right down to it.
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Quote from: trimbler on Today at 01:05:53
for all those who don't see the reason for continuing, can they actually give a good reason for stopping??
^^^ This. I would be very tempted to simply ask why they are so concerned that you stop BFing Z... it's between the two of you and no one else.
Good point ladies...but its hard to say that to DH aunties - and I'm trying not to be mean but they are from a small town in the whops and are all relatively uneducated and out of touch really (opps)
Or some people did say that I BF M because he is a boy hinting at some wierdness.
wow, that is mean and odd!
unless it was a friend I knew would be supportive. It's really nobody's business, when you get right down to it.
You are totally right Deb. Isn't this funny though - people THINK it IS their business. >:( >:( >:(
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I guess people make judgements of all kinds for all sorts of reasons. Like some think that extended nursing is: mum's desire to cling on to babyhood of her LO, or some desire to be needed, not helping the child to adjust to independence, a form of chosen martirdom and so on. DH used to ask me a lot about weaning. He seems to feel better these 2 weeks because: 1) I was working some late nights and he put the kids to bed and gave M a formula sucessfully, so his mind is at rest that in my absence he can cope; 2) he tried M's porridge by accident and nearly gagged from its taste. (He never tried my breastmilk but he is certain it would taste better to M than that formula).
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Oh I'm stoked to see this post! I've been wondering why I'm getting sideways looks when I mention I still feed my LO (who is only just 12 months!)
Er...even if I WANTED to stop (and I'm impartial either way....he's not ready yet which is fine with me) it's not only up to me - there's no WAY he'd give up that BT feed (or the NW feeds haha) at the moment!!
My MIL suggested I switch to juice and I might have to go away for a week to "get him off me". I just don't get it!! He's not some leech! He's still a baby!! I've recently taken him off dairy as an experiement and the amount of people who said I'd have to give him soy....I just thought I'd up the BFs from 1 or 2 to 3!
And as for a weight loss plan is there any better!?
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Given this thread was started by a Kiwi... you may already have seen/heard this - an interesting read... think it might take things a bit too far the other way.
http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/see-controversial-photo-dad-bottle-feeding-baby-does-155510760.html?fb_action_ids=10150793192254155&fb_action_types=news.reads&fb_source=other_multiline&code=AQD91Azz5crzb9tj42S1zdcVutU6F1Ug5SQac2p_ouzbGi3O0o0WlVjjUmb7ZvZ7UYseQHeAJB8z2HvRoUQ5UzVmhfuysOZ3J-dgOxg4oXO5l8S_YeYgsn4wc0sa9aB7_a8NA87bc_u0-REHetaHKmhIaZFNhXZcH8zcTCyFP8CngoQ6Q5efE6CTBeSVRAoTuPw#_=_
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yup this was a huge deal here. Plunket and LLL went nuts. It was ridiculous and then all over the news both ways ::)
Dont get me wrong, I am not pro BF anti Bottle, I just believe in personal choice. BF is meant to be one of the most natural things in nature and as you see in the article - supported fiercely by groups. However, it is so frustrating when you are made to feel like what you are doing is un-natural, or the result of a complex of your own rather than what is best for the child. - rant over :P
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I would just try and keep the facts straight for people. Unfortunately a lot of those types of comments come from ignorance. The fact that the WHO suggests Bf'ing for a MINIMUM of 2 years speaks volumes. Also, it helps me to know that the world wide average for weaning is actually 4 years old. (not maximum, but average... so think of how many nurslings are bf'ing longer then 4) I loved this article "Extended Breastfeeding Myths": http://www.mommypotamus.com/extended-breastfeeding-myth-1/ Lots of great info to share. Educating others I find helps to break the stigma of it all.
However, it is so frustrating when you are made to feel like what you are doing is un-natural, or the result of a complex of your own rather than what is best for the child. - rant over
THIS^^^ I get... Heck, I'm nursing my now 24 month old AND my 11 month old. It's so hard for people to understand when they have been conditioned to think otherwise. Really, what you are doing is the MOST natural thing you can do for your child.
:-* Congrats on bf'ing so long, btw!! You're doing an amazing thing! xo
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Hmmm....offer up a taste test of BM vs formula and see which one they'd prefer?
(((hugs))), sorry you have to deal with this! Just be confident you're doing a good thing! :)
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I thought of this thread all day esp when I cuddled with E before bed. Typical bedtime cuddle with her face smushed against me and hand on my bb. I love it and so does she. I can't begin to explain how rewarding and enriching it is to see those little eyes roll back in her head as she does that and she did the exact same thing when she had her bt bf not so long ago. If there's anything that parenting has taught me yet, it's that my gut is usually right. And my gut says she needs those cuddles and I well imagine she would still be bfing with no signs of stopping if it weren't for circumstances out of our control. I think we both miss it and in that sense I think we both need that contact. Is the contact between mother and child while bfing past a year not worth exploring? And after trying all forms of formula including HAF, I know what I would rather have.
I guess what I'm saying is that maybe if these people who judge were better educated and more supported themselves they would in turn support the extended bf choice more. I will say though that my next child if I have one would be bf'd to at least two years if possible.
And to those who would suggest that it makes them clingy, I would hazard a guess that those people don't get temperament anyhow. The child I bf'd the longest is the least clingy of the works of them :)
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aww thanks ladies.
Typical bedtime cuddle with her face smushed against me and hand on my bb. I love it and so does she. I can't begin to explain how rewarding and enriching it is to see those little eyes roll back in her head as she does that and she did the exact same thing when she had her bt bf not so long ago. If there's anything that parenting has taught me yet, it's that my gut is usually right.
^^ So true lol smushy face and hand on BB so cute! :P Im pretty sure its Z's fav part of the day and we were planning on moving his BT feed, but I just dont want to. He STTN and he knows he gets a story after and then BT and It just felt wrong to be moving it because I felt I should KWIM? - I know slightly off topic, but its the same thing I guess. What feels right for you and your LO vs what you sometimes feel is 'best' - which comes from absolutely nowhere or nothing that has any weight whatsoever!
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The child I bf'd the longest is the least clingy of the works of them Smiley
Totally agree, Vicki. I've BF DD longer now than I BF DS and I also "wear" her as well. So many people think that that develops clinginess, but if we're at a group (even in a strange place) she's more than happy to wander off on her own and leave me to whatever! We had to leave her briefly in a creche for DS's school parent consultation evening and she was as happy as Larry when we go back, even though she'd never seen the person caring for her before.
If BF for any length of time is building that sense of attachment and security, I'm not sure I see anything wrong with it.
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Yeah- i wear hamish a lot more than some of my friends do their babies- and he is happy to explore all over the shop when we're out...
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Hugs!! This is starting to get me, too, and it drives me nuts! I think it doesn't help that I still have to pump at work so people think that a) that's hard (which it is, of course) and b) it means I'm a little less productive than everyone else and I wonder if that bugs some people. So they're always saying "wow, you're still nursing?? how long will do you do it?" etc etc. I try not to get too annoyed but sometimes it's hard. It's none of your business how I feed my child, I want to say!!
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I still can't get over the fact that all these reactions are about babies under the age of 2!! And some under the age of 1!!!!! I could see that if it was a 4 year old running up for a feed at the shopping centre that people might question- that's not really seen much.. but UNDER 2!!!!!!!!!! AT HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::) Insane- INSANE!!
I've just decided to become even more rabid in by plan to extended breast feed! I also think it's crazy that BFing past 1 is considered 'extended'..
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Well, DH said today that its time to wean... "that was the plan, wasn't it, feed til he's one?". It was the plan while I was pregnant. Now I just don't want to force him to stop BFing when he still wants it.
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I've just decided to become even more rabid in by plan to extended breast feed! I also think it's crazy that BFing past 1 is considered 'extended'..
I completely agree. I've actually read quite a few people who believe the same. A few pro-bf'ing groups I follow refer to weaning before the age of 2 as "premature" or "preterm" weaning. Many don't like the term "extended" breastfeeding either, they usually use the term "full term breastfeeding" (full term being anywhere between the ages of 2-7 years when the child naturally weans) I prefer the use of "full term breastfeeding" as well.
((hugs)) becj86... what does your DH say about your feelings on the subject? Have you been able to talk to him about it?
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It's too bad that people respond the way that they do, especially given that it, in no way, affects them! ::) They don't have to see it, hear about it...nothing! And yet they have comments. Yeesh!
How you feed your child is just one of the many, MANY decisions you will be making in which others may have something to think/say about it. I have found that it's best to steer clear of conversations/comments relating to personal things that I do that are not within society's norms. Even if I know good and well that a great many people do whatever it is-if MOST don't-I don't discuss it unless I know the person (and even then, not always). A few examples...homeschooling, not letting the kids watch most PG movies, cloth diapering, etc.
I censor myself a great deal so as to preserve my own peace. ;)
((hugs)) You're doing an awesome thing! :-*
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Not yet spoken about it really, he's at work and this was said just as we were driving into the ferry terminal this morning. I have to work out how to address it, seems we need to have a chat...
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Hugs becj86. Maybe starting with discussing how he feels about it and why first.
My dh was encouraging me weaning at just over a year when we did. Had I been able to continue I think I would have tried to ease some of the fears he would have and definitely use humour as that's the type of relationship we have. Like "you don't have to worry hun, I won't get caught trying to stick my bb through the fence at school, I'll be far more discreet at that age" From his point of view it's not common in public view so we really don't know how many people do bf beyond the time we did. I think real numbers and statistics as well as a list of benefits would help.
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Well, we do work on the same tiny island and for the same company and people know I go up to the day care to feed Logan during the day, so maybe dropping the day feeds and keeping the AM and BT ones would help the visibility of it.
I will have to find out what he thinks about BFing past age one. He has acknowledged that it will be hard to wean since DS loves his milk so much though...
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I still can't get over the fact that all these reactions are about babies under the age of 2!! And some under the age of 1!!!!! I could see that if it was a 4 year old running up for a feed at the shopping centre that people might question- that's not really seen much.. but UNDER 2!!!!!!!!!! AT HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Insane- INSANE!!
I know :(
"that was the plan, wasn't it, feed til he's one?". It was the plan while I was pregnant. Now I just don't want to force him to stop BFing when he still wants it.
This is such a biggie too. DH is fine with it but also is kind of like 'well he doesnt really need it' and kind of blames it for unsettled periods at BT which are never to do with feeding - last time it was an ear infection! I promised myself 6 months, and never dreamed I would still be doing it. But quite frankly it makes me feel close to my son, and its special so why stop!
HUGS Bec - I think Vicki has a good point about asking him first, then any issues may be able to be addressed without having to have a debate IYKWIM :-\ I also think there is a persona attached to BF past the age of 2-3 that it is icky, and that is really sad, but for a lot of men, probably a concern that we/them may become a target for people if BF does go beyond that point. (And for my DH apparently past 18 months - though I think this is all to do with his family as he is clearly not pushing it :P )
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I think family is an issue for DH too. He was BF'd the longest (4 months I think MIL said) out of all his brothers (all were combination fed almost from birth or FF - the youngest was premmie and fed every 2hr and MIL pumped til he was 3months then went to FF). FIL doesn't say anything to me but hints at formula started when DS was 6 days old and were coming thick and fast when we visited them, particularly after DS was 6 months old.
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"At what age does it become weird?" was DH's main concern...
So, we're going to do don't offer, don't refuse during the day (offering one feed while at day care instead of two) and still do the wakeup and bedtime feeds... I do want to feed him through winter especially since we live in a place where people bring their foreign germs on holiday with them.
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How old is your LO again Becj? And your winter isn't that cold is it? So he'd still be benefiting from the fluid..
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As for pumping at work, I find it annoying that no one ticks off anyone who has to go get coffe or cigarettes or go online shopping, etc. There are many minutes that can be wasted that way. I did find it hard to pump at work so had to stop as the location was in another building.
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He'll be one 16 April, Katy!! Can't believe he's made it to a year...
Anyhow, our winter isn't particularly cold (tops of about 20 at the coldest), but the Melbourne and Sydney people who come to Hammo/Airlie for holidays bring all their lurgies and we get sick :(
Totally agree on the smoking/coffee, etc. Kate - I'd be gone less for BFing twice a day than anyone who smoked regularly, esp. if they had a coffee after the cigarette(s).
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Strangely, with DD DH was very insistent on me stopping and i think it was because she was low weight and we had the wrong charts back then. But also I was going through a lot of effort/tiredness trying to pump, E refusing feeds or being too impatient, refusing formula and then she just loved cow milk. With DS because of the allergies and because it is second time round he is less bothered. However the unsettled times, the clinginess, the special smiles I get do get to DH. Plus the ED means different foods, maybe missing on something, etc. Having spent more time last week putting LOs to bed, etc, I think made things bett for us as DH could see that M can still take formula and be settled. But, yes I guess there is the potential for standing out, being considered wierd, etc. Last week DH saw an article on on-deamnd babies having higher IQ. That must have helped as well. Subtle unintential media compaign....
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but the Melbourne and Sydney people who come to Hammo/Airlie for holidays bring all their lurgies and we get sick
Us sick southerners!! ;D I can imagine though!
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Katy - haha! Yeah, you know how you get sick when you are on holidays?
Anyhow, after all that discussion about weaning L, now he's teething and so miserable and we had the worst night in a long time :( Oh, and his saliva's all acidic and burning me and his latch has gone out the window. This too shall pass.
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Becj86, id your l/o on probiotics? It can really help ease the acidity in his saliva. You can mix some in his food, in a little expressed BM, or even put some of the powder on your nipples and he will get it when he nurses. xo
I think the "don't offer, don't refuse" is a great way to go about things.
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No he's not on probiotics, I wasn't keen on the ones I could find here... They didn't go well for me when I had them so not sure whether to try the kids one on him :-/
I might stop offering him so many acidic foods though, he loves tomato and citrus fruits of any kind and while he's not eating much (other than frozen peas, strawberries and corn) I have been giving him guaranteed swallowing foods :P
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Bec, we put Z on probiotics at 12 mths and I wasa bit skeptical but they have really made a difference to his digestive issues and I truly think they have helped him have a healthy gut while being on reflux meds for so long.
The one see is on are for wee ones...if our interested I can PM you what we have, it's a powder you can out in their milk, or food.
That said, if he generally has a healthy gut then best not to mess with it ;) x
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He's never had any tummy issues apart from gas from foremilk overload when he was tiny. I thought about it when he was on antibiotics but he didn't even really get diarrhoea - I think his poo was more liquidy from only drinking milk because he wouldn't take in solids.
We've had another terrible night and I'm not sure if the NW's are teething or hunger or just wanting mummy :( I'm going to feed him 4 times today as I would have done a few days ago and see if that helps since he's not usually this bad when teething...
He's never had to ask for milk before so I'm now thinking what we perceived as him asking for milk was just him getting excited or I don't know him as well as I thought and he's asking but I'm not understanding - so hard when I'm upright more now as he's running around and I can't sit on the ground and chase him. The only time he asked for milk was when he was tired for a while there he'd nuzzle my chest but it was more of a tired sign than needing milk IYKWIM.
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Z always burrows or pulls at my top when he is hungry/thirsty and will usually settle for water pretty quick. Or when he bored ;)
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He's almost never close enough to my chest to burrow/nuzzle now ;) constantly on the move :P
I should have added that nuzzling behaviour was back when he was crawling and he was happier if I'd lie on the floor while he played near me. Perish the thought that I might do something like clean the kitchen or that I might actually play with him ::) ::)
Just realised I've totally taken over your thread, Sara. Sorry!