BabyWhispererForums.com
EAT => Breast Feeding => Topic started by: SILLYFACE on October 08, 2012, 22:56:14 pm
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Just thought I'd share some 'expert' advice I was 'lucky' enough to receive today!
My DD is quite a small baby at 13.5 months she is only 18.13 but she is healthy and thriving. So I took her to be weighed today, mainly because I desperately want to get her into a forward facing car seat.
"How many milk feeds is she having?" said the expert. "Three a day" I replied. " How much?...she needs about a pint a day." " I have no idea - i breastfeed." Expert: "Really? Ok well if you are still happy?" Me: "I've cut out the afternoon feed due to nursery. She seems pretty happy with morning and evening feeds.' Expert: "well when she starts to ask for it...it's time to give up!"
Well since she has been pulling on my shirt for the last 3 months is that 'asking for it'? So I've been forcing her since she has developed the comprehension to associate mummy with snuggles and milky cuddles? I know some 10 month babies who can sign for milk or even use their own words/sounds.
Am I totally over reacting or is this advice just based on a personal opinion. I've had many awful encounters with health visitors but this has got to be the worst!
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Expert: "well when she starts to ask for it...it's time to give up!"
Totally ridiculous.
I would view "asking for it" as more of a milestone! It's amazing when they learn to communicate their needs. If it's working for both of you, go with it. WHO recs are to feed until 2 anyway.
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I agree that that is a completely arbitrary sign to stop. Your child being able to communicate her needs doesn't indicate that she is done with breastmilk at all..no idea where she would come up with that. You should definitely continue as long as you feel comfortable.
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Omg! That is ridiculous advice. Hugs.
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Omg! That is ridiculous advice. Hugs.
^^ this!
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Omg! That is ridiculous advice. Hugs.
YES!!!
I nursed well beyond 2yo and of course he asked for it! As long as you and your lo are both happy there is absolutely no reason to stop. :)
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They seem to come up with some silly stuff! Mine said 'when he can unbutton your shirt it's time to stop!' Maybe my DS was just slow to learn or it was his lack of interest in dressing/undressing himself but I'm pretty sure he was like 3.5 years when he started unbuttoning buttons! He stopped nursing at 26 months. Nurse how ever long you both want to :-*
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By that argument, I should've stopped at about 6 or 7 months. DS would crawl up and grab at my shirt then latch onto my shirt if I didn't get a boob out.
Nurse how ever long you both want to
^^ This!
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By that argument, I should've stopped at about 6 or 7 months. DS would crawl up and grab at my shirt then latch onto my shirt if I didn't get a boob out.
Ha! Yes, DD tried to latch onto anything that was bare skin ::) She pulls up my shirt now and signs for milk. I think that advice is archaic; don't worry about it!
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She pulls up my shirt now and signs for milk.
LOL! just wait til she can evaluate the best way to get to your boobs depending on your outfit and can actually get them out of an underwire bra and latch :o ;)
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Just nonsense. Hugs x
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I was just talking to one of my friends today who has an 11 month old and warning her that the MINUTE they turn one- if you are still breast feeding you are clearly a CRAZY HIPPY CRAZY LADY!! ::)
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FWIW, my doc just asks each time I visit with Logan if I'm still feeding and just notes it in her file. She usually makes a positive comment and moves on :) Maybe they just expect crazy hippy ladies where I live ;)
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Maybe they just expect crazy hippy ladies where I live
a) queensland b) far north... pretty much a given :P
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a) queensland b) far north... pretty much a given
Riiiggghhtt... I am not very hippy at all :P Though the other two ladies I know who have fed/are feeding past 12 months are quite alternative.
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What a load of nonsense. I think DD was around 4/5 months when she first signed 'milk'. Not sure your "expert" would be suggesting stopping feeding a 4mo!!
When you say expert, are they supposed to be a BF expert or some other sort of HCP?
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It is shocking but doesnt surprise me actually ...I politely refuse to get into any conversation with a HV here (or the nursery nurses who give out advice at weigh-in clinic)
Sounds as though you really don't need that kind of 'advice' anyway!
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Hello ladies!
Thank you so much for all your encouragement! I'm glad it's not just me!
When my DD was slow to gain weight during the first few months of her little life, I completely lost faith in the health visitors. They told me 'my baby was starving' - I asked them how they could justify that comment when she was sleeping 5 hours straight at night. The reply: 'because she is exhausted'. They told me to suppliment - I'm ashamed to say, I did it. I then took two further months building back my supply. Fortunately I worked with an infant feeding breastfeeding councillor who gave me huge confidence. I've never trusted anything they've said since. According to the bf councillor they have out-of-date training based heavily on weight gain rather than seeing the overall child. I am truely baffled why these people are in a position to offer advice about something they know so little about.
I can't believe we are still going strong.- even on 1-2 feeds a day. I've had an amazing journey and I am quite sad but humbled that we are beginning the end of bf. I honestly wouldn't change a thing and am already looking forward to bf another.
It is wonderful that this site exists especially for the early days and extended nursing. Its kinda nice to feel part of a community. Thanks everyone! Oh and when my daughter asks for milk in her many different ways I will write it in her baby book as an important milestone! Xxxx
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So glad you've found good help and support, whether that's IRL or online. Well done on getting this far :)
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both my kids were able to say "am, am" for milk from around 8-9 mths. Only for milk. It was their first word. Kind of what PL kids say for "yum, yum" and my DH would say it to them since they were born and would latch on, then I'd start saying it to them, and then it kind of stuck and Ozzie taught it to Emma...
what a load of codswallop xxx
Very jealous of those of you who got longer (or are getting longer) than the 18ish months I got both times. Mine gave up all too soon - bit me, blew raspberries and it was all over in the blink of an eye....ach! Maybe again, someday....
S x
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Hugs. All very common unfortunately. I usually ask why they are giving advice that contradicts the WHO guidelines to feed to 2 and beyond. And that 2yo is the minimum not a max either. They usually get quite quiet quite quickly after that.
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I remember when I asked for info about weaning onto solids they told me that babies are weaned too late at 6 months and that the WHO guidelines were designed fir babies in deprived countries as milk is superior because it is sterile. I ignored and weaned slowly at 6 months anyway. If only we had more jack newman's in this world! I actually followed a mum out of the clinic once after she was given some poor advice about supplimenting. Be interesting to know if the problem lies with the UK or if ot is wide spread? Luckily there are lots of support networks out there but you need to know where to look. X
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Be interesting to know if the problem lies with the UK or if ot is wide spread?
Happens here too :(
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Definitely happens in the US, I've found most people think you have to be a super crunchy sort to go past 6 months...
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In Ireland, sadly, you have to be super crunchy to even begin breastfeeding.
Worst initiation rates in the world (and I am talking about simply ONCE putting baby to the breast after birth). Its around the 35-40% rate, depending on the hospital! Aus, NZ, Eastern Europe like here in PL are in the 90s%, UK, USA, Canada in mid 70%s so its quite depressing to be from Ireland in this respect....you can imagine the looks I got feeding 12-18mth olds on the plane on the way back (not that I usually fed my 12-18mth olds during the day as they fed am and pm and I was working ft from 4 and 7mths but a bit of APOP on the plane with the booby always worked a treat to get a nap started....wish I still had that ammunition up my sleeve. These days, all I got is the leappad ;-)
S x
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Both of my LOs were born in France and with DS I got the advice to supplement when he was 3 days old bc he wasn't gaining weight. I chose to go against the Drs advice and DS ended up being just fine once we got his latch sorted out.
I must say that while I got some surprised looks when I told the Drs I was still feeding after 1 year but no one ever actively discouraged me and most were very positive about it. I think its a shame that your HVs are so opinionated in their stance against BF but good for you for sticking to your guns.
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It is truly astonishing that they can't hear how ridiculous the statement "once they are old enough to ask for it you should stop giving it" actually is - can you imagine saying that about anything else?
Good for you on ignoring them and going with your instinct. I was so fortunate that when ds slid down the percentiles (from 98th to 15th), the hv I said looked at him and said "he's happy, he's developing properly, he's clearly thriving, carry on the way you are". In fairness, I wouldn't have given up or supplemented whatever he had said, but it was so good to get that kind of validation. I'm sure that had ds been my first and I had been faced with the "typical" hv I would almost certainly have given up or supplemented.
I am just about the only one of my friends who has fed for as long as I have, so I think they are all convinced that I am a closet hippy! However, I was at a party for one of dd2's friends where ds was the second youngest younger sibling (if that makes sense!) and all of the mums were still feeding.
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Oh yeah- no medical professionals have suggested i stop..
I think the thing is that people sort of suggest that once you feed past 12 months you are probably going to be still feeding at 8! There are many steps in between!
I think this whole baby thing has brought up my closet hippy ::) Between the extended breastfeeding, baby wearing (NOONE still wears their babies at 16 months at ALL), cloth nappies and baby led weaning- i may as well just go and join a commune!!
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It is truly astonishing that they can't hear how ridiculous the statement "once they are old enough to ask for it you should stop giving it" actually is - can you imagine saying that about anything else?
I was thinking about this ^^^ when James was asking me to read books to him this morning. "whoops you asked, no more books for you!" ;)
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(NOONE still wears their babies at 16 months at ALL),
I'm clearly a crazy hippy, then ;)
Still BF and BW at almost 22m ;D 8)
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You guy's must have small babies!I do wear B on occasion but he is heavy so only when I really don't want a buggy.
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I love it! We are all crazy hippies! The second our babies turn 1 it must strike! Or is it when they start 'asking' for a bf?;-)
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KM, depends on the carry. I wore Allie on my back in the Ergo past her 2nd birthday and she was always HUGE (99th% for height, all the time).
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Hamish also not small- i put him in a ring sling and the ergo. He is however fairly happy to be in the carrier as long as i;m moving at least a bit- he HATES me stopping and talking! I can imagine if you had a toddler was anti the carrier then it would be much harder..
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Yes, James is quite anti-carrier so he doesn't go in there. Allie always loved it though so it was easier.
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It can be dangerous i'd say if there was too much battling..
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True I have been known to carry 2yo K on my back while pushing B in buggy and it was ok.
B asked for a bath today and I thought "phew, glad I can stop with that now if he is asking!"
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Lynds - I don't use a buggy, so DD gets worn when we go out, so the weight increments aren't so noticeable. Although DD does get mistaken for about 4m younger than she is at times
LOL on the asking for a bath :D
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B asked for a bath today and I thought "phew, glad I can stop with that now if he is asking!"
LOL!! Well i'm planning on stopping all foods and drink as hamish asks for that all the time!
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K asks for that too. Must be where I am going wrong! Does it follow if dh asks for something too?
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Lol! And when it comes to toilet training?
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Does it follow if dh asks for something too?
if only ;)
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K asked me to go to work today. Whoa!
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LOL!
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:)