BabyWhispererForums.com
EAT => Breast Feeding => Topic started by: Sam-n-Max's Mommy on October 22, 2012, 21:15:54 pm
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Hi ladies,
I am pregnant with DS #2, and have started thinking about feeding. I BF'ed DS #1 for about 2 months, but had a really hard time (plus a really traumatic birth, which made the difficulties I was having even harder to deal with). (DS wasn't gaining weight, cried all the time, we were both miserable). In any case, I would like to give DS #2 breast milk exclusively, but I think I'm going to need the flexibility of a bottle, so I think I am going to end up pumping. (Reason that I need the flexibility, is that DS #1 is in a lot of therapy (speech, occupational, and physical for apraxia) and will also be starting preschool, so my schedule is going to be sort of nuts sometimes. Has anyone done this where they breast feed, but mostly or entirely with expressed milk? I feel like you're not really supposed to do both in the beginning since you need to wait until breast feeding is established to introduce the bottle to avoid nipple confusion, so for us the better choice may be to just express right off the bat.
What do you think? Can anyone offer any guidance?
Thanks!
Nicole
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No more time now as I'm on the way to bed, but this article about exclusive pumping gives lots of information and tips on how to do it and what the commitment is - http://kellymom.com/bf/pumpingmoms/pumping/exclusive-pumping/
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Thanks, Amanda, I'm going to check it out!!
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I changed your title so some of our pumping moms will know to look. :)
No pressure to change your plans but ds was EBF and we were hardly ever home due to my two older girls and I just bought a nice nursing cover and fed him wherever we were - it was easier that way for us.
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I have not read the link amanda gave but from my own experience and things I read around the time I stopped breast feeding and pumping I would say the commitment aspect is not to be underestimated.
I have so little experience but what I do have might help.
I was convinced I must not cause nipple confusion with introducing a bottle and breast early, I had no plan to use a bottle at all but needs must, I had to give DS a bottle of formula to get out of the hospital as my breast feeding was going so badly but I felt I would do better at home with volunteer lactation consultant help which I had previously set up. Anyway, I was later told that most LOs can switch between bottle and breast pretty well if introduced early where as find the bottle much harder if exclusively breast feed for the first couple of months.
I started hand expressing then moved on to a double electric pump (whilst also trying to breast feed which was never successful despite all the help and support I had). I was amazingly successful in pumping considering I wasn't taking anything to increase my supply and even got up to pumping full feeds in one go so that all of DS's milk was from me and the formula totally phased out. BUT my heart was breaking...I watched DP do every single bottle feed whilst I sat at the other end of the sofa pumping, not holding my baby boy, just hooked up to a machine and feeling so far away from natural feeding. I don't regret a moment of it, I was pleased I was able to produce every drop that I produced. But I also don't regret my decision to stop and switch to formula. it was SO hard to do that and I cried an ocean at the time. DS was 4.5 wks, he was more aware, looking around and I felt he needed to be held and loved and interacted with more than he needed breast milk. The pumping took up SO much time, it is no where near as efficient as actually breast feeding. DP and I both had to get up for every night feed, me to pump and him to do the bottle feeding (of milk previously pumped) which meant we were both exhausted the entire time and no let up in sight either.
Hats off to all those mums who do manage to express long term. It is seriously hard and I didn't even have to tackle expressing every 3-4 hrs out and about.
If I had a second child I expect I would find breast feeding just as impossible as I did the first time, I just don't think I was made for bfing, but I'd still want my baby to have the goodness of the colostrum and breast milk. I think I would probably plan to express for the first few weeks again and not feel so incredibly bad about using formula, I'd prob use some of the dietary supplements that increase supply too.
I wish you luck whatever your decision is in the end x
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I pumped exclusively for the first three months, though not on purpose :-\ Within the first couple of days I had developed horrendously cracked, bleeding, painful nipples and breastfeeding was excruciating... I was very committed to breastfeeding and my OB suggested pumping for a few days to continue giving Dylan breastmilk but to give my nipples time to heal. With the intention of doing it only for a few days, I started pumping and bottle feeding for all feeds, my nipples healed, and then when I went to put Dylan back to breast he completely refused. Long story short, I pumped and bottle fed for three months before I could coax him back to breastfeeding!
I have to echo creations in that the time commitment for exclusive pumping is HUGE. To put it into perspective, you have all the time commitment involved in bottle feeding (storing, washing, preparing, heating, etc. bottles) PLUS the time commitment for breastfeeding/pumping. My DH was very supportive of my decision to give Dylan breastmilk exclusively, and he was up at every night time feeding with me. I fed Dylan a prepared bottle while my DH washed anything that needed to be washed, set up my pump, etc. for me. Then I put Dylan down, DH helped him settle while I started to pump. I'd pump for about 30m or so, then I'd go to bed. Then we'd hopefully get 1.5-2h sleep before we had to do it again. During the day, when I was alone, it was even more difficult as I had to do everything myself AND sometimes have a crying baby at my hip. It's definitely possible to do (I'm proof!) but it's challenging and you will need your partner's support!
Given your original post, I would actually suggest breastfeeding and pumping for occasional feeds as needed. Especially with your schedule as crazy as you described, it is honestly a lot easier to breastfeed your new babe than to worry about when you can pump, maintaining supply, how to heat/store bottles, etc. etc. etc. Pumping occasionally after feeds to build a bit of a stash and then using it as needed to supplement may be a better solution for you. But that is just MHO after reading your post :)
If you have any other questions or concerns let me know! I've BTDT so happy to help :)
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Due to various issues, I exclusively pumped for about 1 month or so - when DS was between 2 and 3 months. Before that I was breastfeeding but supplementing with either EBM or formula.
I have to say I agree with creations - I found it extremely difficult. In between caring for DS, and DD (which was in daycare all day, but I still had to drop her off, pick her up, prepare dinner, etc), all my rest time was spent pumping and I found that to be exhausting. I was lucky enough that I got reasonable quantities (although I was on domperidone to help my supply), but after a long birth and a very difficult baby, I felt like I did not have one minute of downtime. I desperately needed to rest and it was exhausting. Same as creations - the decision to switch to formula was really difficult, but it was made easier for me because DS was reacting to my breastmilk but was ok on elemental formula. If I had to do it again, I'd do it the same way because it was important for me to do it as long as I could, but if I had a choice, I'd definitely BF instead of pumping. Just so much easier and quicker. I agree with Erin, with my DD, I could just take her everywhere and nurse her under a cover. Also you could be surprised maybe your LO would be the kind of baby that does great just alternating between breast and bottle so that you have flexibility while not having all the extra work of pumping :)
It is such a personal decision, I think you should definitely do what feels right for you and your family. But, as creations said, do not under-estimate the commitment pumping is. When the short naps arrived, I barely had time to get settled to pump, pump, wash the stuff, and then he was up. Every.single.nap. That was the hard part I guess. Hopefully your LO naps longer! ;)
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Both of my kids did both bottle and breast from pretty much birth onward. DD was given a bottle in the hospital by accident, DS was given one on purpose. Both I brought home and proceeded to exclusively breast feed for 3 months before introducing formula (there is more to the story but thats it in a nut shell). With DD, I couldn't pump at all - just too wound up? Not sure. With DS, the milk flowed, it was great! Only his latch was poor and he had a sensitive tummy already so he seemed less gasy with the bottle. I honestly don't know how I did it, I just did. I remember sitting in front of the computer just like I am now only with the pump attached ;) If I were try and sit down and tell you the schedule, I probably couldn't do it.
It worked for about 2 months or so. I found the night time exceptionally difficult and went back to breast at night out of ease - plus DS was more tired, less gasy, it seemed anyway.
I think if I were to give advice I'd say start with breast, pump the most in the morning/afternoon hours between feeds (not to say you can't try before bed), try to use breast for cluster feeding to keep supply up. And, don't be hard on yourself. They key is going to be to keep your supply up - I think it is harder to do when pumping and thats your biggest risk factor - make that your goal and don't worry about the incidentals inbetween.
Good luck!
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Both my boys had a slight tongue tie...too slight to clip, but too major to handle my over active let down and to nurse without pain...and reflux issues. I made the decision to EP with both, as long as I could bear. With ds1, i Ep'd for 9 months and made it to a year with ds2. I had an oversupply of milk for both, so pumping came easily for me, and I was able to drop pumps quickly without affecting my suppy too much. That being said, pumping is hard work and a HUGE commitment. Going out is hard, travelling is beyond hard, and you need people to rely on. I never felt a disconnect with my son's from not bfdig..after I got over the initial dissapointment, i found other ways to bond with them..for me.bottle feeding was intimate...especially if you are writhing in pain with bfding...lol!!! I think it is commendable that you want to provide the best nutrition for your little one, and if this is something younwant to pursue, I have lots of tips and support for you. One resource I found really helpful was ivillage exclusively pumping message boards...if you can't find it through google, let me know andnI can link you to it.
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Hey are u wanting to pump bc baby won't be with you? Or are you just nervous about it?
BFing is generally so much easier the 2nd time around. It took one week to get back in the swing of things after a 5 year break! I gave both my kids a bottle within the first month. Neither had issues with bottles now & then.
One of my BFF had issues with bf the first time and pumped exclusively.she had no problems BFing her 2nd!
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I had lots of breastfeeding troubles with DD...things were going well, then everything went downhill at about the 6week mark. I ended up with a really bad case of mastitis because I was overproducing and DD couldn't clear it all...long story short I ended up pumping for about a month and bottle feeding the pumped milk to DD.
I could not do it again with a newborn AND DD running around. It just takes too much time. I have decided to try breastfeeding again, with the hopes that now that I know more (and have more support) I will be able to make it work better than the first time around. I am planning on pumping once a day to get milk for a bottle feed so DH or someone else can do a feeding when I need to be away from baby.
That said, my friend does exclusively pump, and it works for her! But she has a really good pump and did start out by trying to breastfeed but it didn't work out in the traditional way. But she doesn't have a toddler to run around after ;)
I'm hoping it goes better for me this time around, and I think it will because I'm not putting as much pressure on myself, and I understand now that everyone has their own opinions on breastfeeding which may not be what my opinions are, lol.
I think exclusive pumping may be doable IF you start by breastfeeding during the newborn stage, maybe do one pump a day to give baby a bottle feed, then if you find you need more flexibility add more pumping in so you are doing a combination of both. So you are giving bottle feeds when you need to and are breastfeeding when you are able. Maybe that way you can find a happy medium and you still have time to run around after your toddler :)
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Thank you, everyone, for such thoughtful responses. I think I totally was underestimating what it takes to exclusively pump, and maybe a combo of bf'ing and pumping will work out better for me, and if I have to supplement with formula, I will. I don't have a problem with that -- DS was supplemented with formula while I was bf'ing and then exclusively on formula when I stopped. What I am most concerned about is DS#2 getting the benefits of the breast milk to help give him some immunities since DS#1 will be bringing (I'm sure) lots of bugs once he starts preschool (he hasn't been in daycare so I am told that when he starts preschool he will constantly be sick).
With DS1's therapy schedule, DS2 will sometimes be with me, but sometimes not. I guess when he is I can bf there with a nice wrap and when he's not, I can leave my mom with a bottle of ebm. It really sounds like exclusively pumping, while doable, will be a bigger time commitment that I'm not sure will work for our family (DH works long hours and I doubt will be much help in this area, especially since his beauty sleep is so important to him ::) ). A mix sounds like it will be the best bet for us, but I am nervous about trying to bf (traditionally) again. Not only am I worried that being out and about so much could make it difficult (which you've all said it's easier than pumping so that is good), but it just didn't work for me and DS1 and it was really stressful. There were a number of things that could have sabotaged it from the beginning -- ie. DS was rushed to NICU after c-section and I couldn't bf him until about 18 hours later, I don't think we ever *really* got the latch right, he had reflux, and I found out when he was 2 that he has intolerances to gluten, casein, and egg -- so any of those things could have been causing him to cry and cry the way he did (for about 2 months), gain weight slowly, and never be satisfied. It was a really stressful time and I am scared of a repeat and how it might be to deal with that on top of DS1's crazy schedule.
I guess the real answer is that I can try it. I can try bf'ing and pumping occasionally and see what happens. Maybe this will be a totally different baby! Nothing says I can't change things up if I need to I guess. Thanks for helping me work through this, I feel better already lol.
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So glad what everyone's said has been helpful. You really never know what the next little person it going to be like. If you're thinking there could be issues, you are totally doing the right thing by being prepared. Perhaps finding a local BF support group that you could visit before #2 is born so you can get to know where it is and how to get there and some of the people that go along so you have a good support network built up before LO arrives too might help, also?
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I don't know your location but if possible try to set up a lactation consultant or bf support volunteer and meet them for a good chat before your LO arrives. I did this and despite my awful experience of bfing the support service was excellent.
A lovely lady contacted me first by phone then came to my house to meet me. We had a long chat about bfing, my hopes, fears etc she demonstrated latch and hand expressing for me too and gave lots of info. I felt very comfortable with her. She told me to contact her as soon as LO was born (they also called me shortly after my due date to see how I was getting on but DS hadn't made an appearance yet). This is one of the reasons I wanted out of the hospital so I could get home and get the help I had prepared. In the hospital I'm afraid my nipples were severely traumatized by a MW trying to (incorrectly) hand express colostrum for my LO. I left the hospital late in the evening and had to stop at an all night supermarket for bottles, formula and sterilising equipment to see us through the night.
The next morning I rang the bf support lady and told her I was home and struggling (understatement) and she arrived within a few hours to help me.
Lots of contact, visits, phone calls, they even brought me a double electric pump (a good heavy duty one) to borrow (all sterile disposable tubes and bottles) so that I didn't have the expense or delay of trying to get out to a shop to buy one.
It really was a great service. If you have something like this available to you I would highly recommend making full use of their service. I'm sure once someone is established with bfing or pumping the external support groups are wonderful to meet up with people, get advice etc etc but for me, day 1, no way could I have got out the house to one of those groups and I was in so much pain in my nipples I could hardly dress. I cried every time I put DS to my breast and there is no way I was going to try that in a group setting. Having someone come to my house was totally the right thing for me.
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((hugs)) each pregnancy/labor/delivery and baby are different so think positive! tbh, i dont' really pump that much this time around. it just seems to work out.
with DS, it took longer to get his latch right. for DD it was right from the get-go. you have more of a clue what you are supposed to do this time so you are ahead of the game.
i highly recommend taking another breastfeeding class, esp if you did not hte first time. i took it again and it was totally worth the review. plus, the LC teaching was also the one helping in teh hospital.
request to have the LC help you with the first feeding. i did this with DS - very helpful. they also should call you to follow up.
fortunately, my hospital/clinic is really close so I can pop over there or call if there is an issue. i hope yours is the same.
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I set up one time a day when I pumped and froze what I got. After about a month my freezer was full and ready for any time I'm away from LO. Very useful to have.
I would recommend you invest in a bottle that doesn't just let the milk flow without LO sucking. Medela Calma or - if I'm not mistaken - Dr Browns. We had some issues with going between breast and bottle and changing to the Calma helped a lot.
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I've liked the first years breast flow bottles
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Thanks again, everyone. I will definitely look into support groups and the lactation consultant. I did take a class before DS was born, but another one couldn't hurt since that was 3 years ago!
We used Dr. Browns with DS -- he had issues with reflux, gas, etc etc that I never really knew if the bottle was contributing to the problem or not. I think it was not, but it couldn't hurt to try a few different kinds when I do pump.
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It has to be the breastflow bottle though, not the regular Dr Browns
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Oh! I didn't know that -- thanks!!!
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my beef with dr brown's was all the crazy parts....DS didn't have reflux though. GOOD LUCK!! take a class!!!