BabyWhispererForums.com
EAT => Breast Feeding => Topic started by: Mackjack on May 24, 2014, 19:52:07 pm
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Hi there,
So, DS is just over 18 wks and has dropped to a 4hr EASY just over a week ago (with a little encouragement from me) and lo and behold, 3 days later (whisper it) he slept through the night for the first time - great - and has done each night since (so far!!!). So he's having 4 feeds a day now and no DF (this is exactly what DD did too). But, he's getting really fussy on the breast and I'm terrified that he might now not be getting enough.
Basically, he starts off feeding well and then I feel the let down and can see he's taking good deep sucks but a few minutes later he starts biting down, pulling and rubbing his face right into my breast. His legs are kicking and he seems really frustrated. I keep swapping breasts at this point and he'll latch on but keeps doing the same thing. Also, he's started to get very easily distracted when BFing which doesn't help.
Yesterday morning I felt like his first feed of the day wasn't very good as because he's only just STTN for a few days, I still feel very engorged in the mornings and after his first feed, I still felt quite full and engorged - I would've expected that to be relieved by his first feed. He seemed upset and hungry 3.5 hrs after that feed so I fed him again. Then in the evening, I gave him his final feed with the usual fussiness and tried to feed him again just before I put him in his cot as I felt his feeds that day had been very fussy. He wouldn't' take it. I put him to bed and he really started to cry - when I went into him he just smiled at me. This really confused and panicked me as he's never done anything like this before. So I got him up and tried feeding him again and this time he took a big feed and went to bed fine with no fuss.
Tonight he cried and protested when put to bed for a few minutes and I was about to go and get him but he fell asleep before I got there so I'm thinking this was probably because he was massively OT today as his naps were awful ( a whole other post!) Also, on another note, when his naps are bad, the last feed of the day is sometimes only 3.5hrs after the previous as I just cannot keep him up any longer - do you think that matters?
So could the fact that he's gone to 4hrs and then dropped his NF mean that my supply is less? Or is he just at that fussy stage and getting impatient when my letdown slows?
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Sigh. Just woke at 22.00 screaming. Thought it might be OT but he wouldnt settle so I fed him. Am I going to have to go back to 5 feeds? Why did the 4 feeds get hin to start sleeping through and now just a few days later its not working? Is this just a badly timed GS?How would I fit in 5 feeds when his A time is 2hrs- I really struggled before we moved to 4hrs (even though his naps are often rubbish!)? And would he get enough from 5 closer together feeds rather than 4 more spread out bigger feeds?Aaaargh, this is doing my head in!! So many questions and guess work! It's times like this I feel like giving up the BFing!
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He woke again at 4.15. OH tried settling. Didnt work. I have him half a feed. Didnt work. Have him full feed and he finally settled. Have just woken him for the day at 7.10 and am feeding. I dont know what the hell to do today. Youre probably thinking "just follow his cues" but he never gives any hunger or tired cues so I am constantly guessing and therefore getting awful naps (since 7 wks) and now a messed up feeding routine....this baby is breaking me
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Sounds to me that he is so hungry that he is guzzling the milk then making himself all windy, so stopping the feed earlier than he should. Your breasts are likely pretty full with the routine change.
Did you jump to 4hrly feedings? You might need to transition slowly ie 3hrs 15 for a few days etc. it creates a mini cluster before bed but most BF babies don't mind ;).
It's a while since a BF but lots of hugs. I think BFing is very hard on us ladies.
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I did jump, yes. But because he started sleeping through a few days later, I thought I'd done the right thing...obvs not? I'm not sure that it's wind - he seems more frustrated than windy?
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...thank you for your response by the way. And the hugs. I reeeeally need the hugs at the moment.
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(((Hugs))) the sttn could have just been a coincidence too...hard to say with these babies! If it was down to a growth spurt perhaps he needed the sleep due to that? None of mine were able to do a 4 hr routine really while we were mainly bf.
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Could be...but now I feel lost.when on earth do I feed a baby who doesn't show hunger cues??
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To make matters more confusing, I kept him up 2hrs15 this morning as I'm experimenting with A time as he always has 30/45min naps. He's slept through the 30/45min mark which is great but now its nearly 4hrs since his feed - so I dont know whether to wake him?
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I woke him when it got to 4hrs. Hes having a better feed although still pulled a bit on the first breast. Not sure what to do for the rest of the day in terms of gaps between feeds....
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Maybe the good rest is key to getting good feeds (easier said than done I know!!) Hmm maybe try for 3.5 hr spacing?
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Could be, Masyn. Today, I lengthened his A time to 2hr.15 and it *seems* to have made a big difference to his naps. I had to wake him from his first nap at the 4 hour mark and feed him. His second nap he woke just before the 4 hour mark and seemed upset and sleepy - and then was sleeping on the breast. And I've just put him down for his evening cat nap after almost 2.15 too. This is a breakthrough for us as normally he fights his naps and wakes at either 30/45 mins but each nap today he has fallen asleep within minutes and there's been no midpoint wakeup. So because of the naps today, I've been feeding at 4 hours again. I figured I'd give it one more day and see how tonight goes. If he wakes again for feeds then I know I'm onto a wrong'un. Could the night wakings last night be because his naps were sooo awful yesterday (45 mins, 30mins and 15mins) he used up a lot more energy and so was just hungrier??
If tonight is awful and I have to think about feeding more frequently again, how will I work a 3.5hr EASY when his A time is 2hr15? Will he just have to have really short naps?? I'm torn between being happy that I could possibly improve his naps and terrified of starving him!!
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If better naps mean he is calmer at the breast and take a full feed, then you might find he can do the 4 hr EASY, with a quick cluster before bed.
Basically if the E and S don't add up you will end up having to do one feed out of sync likely before a nap to make it all work. It is a bit of a pain, but usually disappears once they are on solids later.
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Yup what Liz said! Our feeds were quite wonky for awhile as the A times and feed times did not jive, did a lot of EAEAS to fit it in.
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Ok, thanks ladies. Fed him at 6.30 tonight (3.5hrs after last feed as he'd just woken from his cat nap and seemed whingey which I took for hunger) - not a bad feed - and started another feed at 7.30...still going, hes taking looooads!
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He fed for nearly an hour. To be honest I took him off in the end as he was falling asleep and my boobs were getting sore! Oh well, see what happens tonight and re-evaluate in the morning, I suppose. Thank you for all your help so far. :)
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MackJack... You can also consider DF. We finally tried it and all night wakenings stopped (I didn't know they are from hunger!) and he sleeps soundly ill 6:30-7:00am!
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Hi Martii. Thats brilliant! Can you remind me how old your LO is please? What time do you do it? After last night's mammoth feed,,DS woke at 4am for a feed. I know many mums would be quite pleased with that but I felt gutted. I'm really starting to struggle with coping with 2 children and I'm beginning to feel quite depressed. Every time I look at DD (who is nearly 4) I feel guilty about all the time I'm not spending with her and all the times she is pushed aside or has to wait for my attention while I tend to DS. I really thought things would start getting better by this point but I'm finding it harder.
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Hugs :-* :-*.
I do think it is very important not to spend too much effort trying to 'fix the baby'. They are tricky creatures, who don't respond well to our best efforts because things change so quickly when they are tiny. And those other siblings add in as well don't they??
I think there has to be more survival mode with number 2.
That really was a great night yk?! For a BF baby that was just great ;D.
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I know Liz - I just dont cope well with the unpredictability of it all. And the fact he slept through most nights last week just feels like a massive tease. I try to go with the flow and get on with life but it always backfires. If I think to myself for example, right, stuff it, we will just go out all day and never mind if he has rubbish naps in his pram well, then, he's just miserable and difficult to manage and will have awful sleep that night. I really feel I can't win.
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The same with me MJ:).
So regarding feeding, DS is 14wo and is on 3-4h EASY. Feeds roughly at 7, 10:45, 14:30, 17:30 and 19:15 (top up before bed). Generally after naps and before BT. All of them are right now both sided. Than at 11pm DH does a DF (we introduced it 10days ago...?). Currently we use EBM as DF is done with bottle but we are using storage as I cannot pump enough milk during day for a full DF portion. So we probably will start formula supplementation soon but I am already fine with it (until now EBF).
Before introducing DF he was waking 22-23 (never done that before!), around 1-2am (for comfort...?), around 4-5 for feed (one sided) and from 5:30-6:00 his sleep was very light... And we also coped with couple STTN before but after 2 weeks of that it has stopped:(. So I introduced DF.
Now he sleeps soundly till 6-7am. When he wakes at 6 I am resettling (not always easy, but wakeup at 6 is better than wakeup at 4...). I also started no-paci training 2 days ago as I guess his morning "cannot-back-to-sleep-mummy" can be connected with paci addiction. Will see how it works.
Btw I also was so reluctant to introducing DF as I hoped that DS will manage 12h without feed at 3mo as other kids which I know! Stupid:). And I am aware that DF is an obligation especially if you BF or want to express milk for it but it worth a try and some effort as waking MOTN is much worse...
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thanks for sharing Martii. Sounds like you have been busy! Oh yes 6am is definitely better than MOTN! Looks like a good routine. I do both side feeding too (well actually 3 or 4 sides -whatever I can get into him!) Can I ask - do you feed at those times because thats when he wakes from his naps? If so, if he has a short nap, when would you feed then?
DF is looking to be a good option only I would have to BF as I absolutely hate expressing and it takes me forever to just get one or two ounces.
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I do understand, we do like to feel in control. Neither of mine were even close to STTN at this age, so I guess I just don't even think about it. Heck my 4 year old was up for an hour at 3am last night because she had a bad dream about insects, my 5.5 year old EW'd at 5am. I think even now we only get a full nights sleep 50% of the time ::) ::).
I ended up with a funny routine with DD ie it wasn't EASY, but it was pretty close to what a lot of 'schedules' are based on ie short am, long lunchtime nap, long A to bedtime. At about 5 months I got her onto a 2 nap a day thing, and the daft baby woke all night long!! If I needed to be out with DS I went in the am or pm so we could be home for the lunchtime naps for both of them. I don't mean flexibility in terms of going anywhere and doing whatever, I just mean a loose pattern that caters for the whole family as best as possible iyswim? The vast majority of babies develop a much more predictable pattern at about 5-6 mths, and it only improves after that as naps get consolidated and solid meals get added it.
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I started 3,5h EASY mainly because he wasn't hungry at 3h mark, secondly because he has increased his A time (when you have 1:45-2:00 A his naps even when good, had to be capped after 1:00 for feed and he was not hungry....?). I went cold turkey but he was ready especially for feeding. First day he woke after 50min from his 2nd nap - I was terrified... 1:30 till next feed! But we just managed to do it without any crying. He was not hungry.
Then morning feeds went into 3:45 break and it was also his decision, he just slept longer on his nap. Right now, when he wakes earlier from his nap, I just keep feeding hours strict so not to confuse him and he is fine with it. Only in the afternoon we have shorter breaks and I am fine with it, he is still taking full feeds and I guess he is tanking for night. Frankly speaking I am not even eager to go to 4h EASY and lose one feed, as I guess the more he takes during day, the less he will wake at night:). Btw at DF he can drink from 4 to even 7oz so I know that he needs this feed & needs more milk for night.
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I know. I guess your 1st child sets your expectations. With DD I didn't know what the hell I was doing but somehow managed to get a child who slept through very early on and never woke for a feed again. Add she still sleeps brilliantly now. So I guess thats why I'm finding DS so hard. Cant handle the "one step forward, 2 steps back". Plus now DD is older I think i'd got used to life being normal and having some freedom again and now I'm in babyland again which to me feels like prison. Sorry to be so negative. I really want to enjoy this time in my life and I know I should but I just can't. I'm very grateful to have 2 happy, healthy kids and feel so guilty as I know so many people would love to have what I've got
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Ok so you stick to 3.45Easy if naps go wrong except in afternoon. Seems a good tactic. I gave 5 feeds yday - 7, 11, 3, 6.30, 7.30. Just can't work out if I would be better off doing 4 feeds and making that last feed before bed 4hrs after the last or sticking with 2 cluster feeds at bed - not sure which would make him take more milk. It was when he was on 4 feeds that hee started sleeping through (until of course he didnt!)
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We tried a four hour routine a wee while back, because he was fussy on the breast and his A-time was really long. Result was reverse cycling. He fed every two hours at night for quite a while and it took some time to fix that again. A breastfed baby is certainly not getting enough on 4 feeds a day, and it will have a bad effect on your supply. If A-time is getting so long, you can try topping up before a nap, as suggested EAEAS.
The fussiness was more due to being too nosy than not being hungry ::) An EBF baby who is not yet on solids shouldn't be fed less than 8 times a day, says Kellymom and LLL. And every LC you will meet ;)
Tracy's breastfeeding advice is a little outdated now, but she would have adjusted it, had she still been alive :)
http://www.babycenter.com/404_whats-the-best-breastfeeding-schedule-for-a-baby_8940.bc
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Yep, Steffi also offers a good solution. Just check what your DS likes/prefers most.
Mine for example is refusing breast after A (1,5h-2h after last feed) and before naps as he is not hungry. On the other hand 4 feeds a day is really low number and I know children can cope with this routine but not all of them.
Btw Steffi, are you serious with recommendation of 8 feeds per day for a baby older than 3-4months? That's really a lot! I heard that 5-6 at that age is more common.
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If I fed him before naps, I think I would worry that he would become a snacker. Maybe I will keep doing the 4 hr Easy but give 5 feeds with the last 2 feeds close together. I'm really tempted by the DF too...but scared in case a)he wakes or b) it messes up his night sleep...but I guess his night sleep isn't perfect anyway so what's there to lose??
Yes, I agree, 8 feeds sounds a huge amount for this age Steffi?!
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And do you have problem with settling him? Sometimes during DF my son opens his eyes, but at this age and being and independent sleeper, he is so relaxed with feeding that he just goes back to sleep very quickly, even during the feed:).
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DD3 fed 5-6 times a day from 4 weeks on and did fine - she never made a true 4 hr EASY as at that point her A times were so long she needed a top up to get a good nap, otherwise if she had had a more age appropriate EASY I am sure she would have been good on 4-5 bfs. I think the important thing is not the exact number of feeds but baby's needs. If they are feeding on demand and producing enough wet diapers and are content and satisfies then they are taking what they need!
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Some of them do fine, many do not with feeding schedules. Here is a little link by the LLL
http://www.llli.org/nb/lvaprmay98p21nb.html
Scotty fed every four hours from birth and only went to a three hour schedule at 12 weeks or so. An average feed is between 30 and 100ml, between 6 weeks and 6 months, so there is no way that MOST babies can cope with only feeding 4 or 5 times a day. Joey did, and then reverse cycled. Any sort of scheduled feeding in the first six months (if you disregard cues) can lead to FTT, slow weight gain or low supply.
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Ive no choice other than to do a schedule really because as I say DS, shows no hungry cues during the day. So yes, as Masyn says, I think if theyre gaining weight, satisfied and content then sometimes thats your only guide - as well as how enthusiastically (or not!) they feed. I would never enforce 4 feeds only on DS- I'm just trying to work out what he wants.
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Martii - no when he wakes at night for a feed he goes back to sleep fine. So does that mean I shouldnt worry too much if he wakes during a DF?
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Most BF babies of this age go straight back to sleep. Gone are the days when they poop and need a nappy change after (that stage is horrid!!!). I've never DF, but it sounds like it is worth a try, hey?
I think my 2 had 8 feeds in 24 hrs when they were young - all the way up to 7 mths or so really. I always had issues with reverse cycling due to distractible fussy daytime feeds >:(.
I always fed DD before naps (and not after S, so the complete opposite of EAS really, but always took her off and winded her etc before she was fast asleep). She never developed prop issues. I'm sure some babies would, but DD didn't, so again it can work great for some LOs.
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Steffi do you think perhaps you are confusing the advice from LLL for a newborn? EASY should be a flexible routine that includes listening to your baby not ignoring cues and holding out on a hungry baby. I don't think either of the mums on this thread are doing that at all.
Nowhere in that link does it say a 4mo needs to feed 8 times a day. In fact on the LLL website it specifically says
"Every baby is different! Due to individual differences, healthy full-term babies may breastfeed as often as every hour or as infrequently as every four hours and thrive, according to LLLI Breastfeeding Answer Book (BAB) Third Revised Edition, page 26. Daily breastfeeding patterns will vary from baby to baby and from day to day."
http://www.llli.org/faq/frequency.html
And Tracy worked with many BF babies and has case studies on them in at least one of the books. While I agree that not all babies are able to do 4hrly feeds many including both of mine did and do and get *plenty* of milk. My kids were in fact growing so well on 5 breastfeeds a day (4 in the day and a DF/NF) between 4.5-6mo that I was constantly asked by the HVs to stop supplementing although I wasn't. If I missed a feed I could often pump 4-5oz (120-150ml) and not feel as empty as after my babies fed so I know they took more. Some women have great supply and storage capacity and their babies get significantly more than the figures you seem to think are upper limits
Mackjack, I hear you on the difficulties of having an easy first baby. My DS1 was high sleep needs and still doing 2x 2hr naps and a CN with a 12hr night (with a NF) at 6mo and it was so hard for me to accept that DS2 was low sleep needs and I had to cap his 2 naps to 1.5hrs just to get an 11hr night.
Have you spoken with you HV or GP about your feelings of depression? I do think it may be a case of accepting that your DS is a different baby to your DD and has different needs and will develop at a different rate. Perhaps if you could lower your expectations you wouldn't feed so disheartened by what as Liz said was a really good night. We have a fab PPD board moderated by the lovely Liz if you think that may be an issue for you.
Post Partum Depression
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Hi Ali. Thanks so much for your kind words - there are so many lovely people on this forum.i haven't spoken to anyone about how I feel yet. To be honest, it's only been over the last week or so. I just find I'm up and down all the time depending on what sort of day I'm having with DS - I can feel awful in the morning and ok by the afternoon. I think its because this whole time I've been telling myself to hang in there and that things will get better as he gets older. I certainly thought life would be more stable by 4 months so when he started sleeping through for a few nights and then stopped, I felt so disheartened. I know my expectations are high and I need to go with the flow but I just cant. For example, if his first nap of the day is not good, thats it, I know I'm in for a bad day as I can never seem to get his naps right if the first one goes badly and then I find myself with a miserable OT baby. So by about 9/10am my day can already be ruined.
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Hugs MJ!!! I understand you so well. I have no other babies to compare LOL but I guess I also had high expectations or maybe rather hopes... I thought I will be the lucky one to have a baby who naps well, quickly STTN, settles well, play by himself etc:))) now when I think of it, it's even quite funny:).
But it will get better and it is better with every day even if there are some ups & downs. Go to PPD board as Ali suggests if you need some more support or maybe use Birth Clubs if you would like to chat about everyday problems with other mums.
Regarding settling at night, try a DF and see how DS reacts. I think it may help him go through the night and help you to get some longer stretch of sleep. If he will be waking and difficult to resettle you will stop DF. I would try:). I am usually quite afraid of changes in routine so not to ruin what good I have, but who doesn't risk, will not win:)))!
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((((Hugs)))) MJ, mine were so different as well - dd1 did fine with only a df (5 total feeds) from so early on, I think ds was doing 6/7 feeds a day until 10 months! The heart of bwing is to read cues and follow them. I'd guess that the reason your LO doesn't show hungry cues is because your ds is used to having his needs met because of your EASY. The df worked well for 2 out of my 3 so I would give it a try. Ali's advice is in line with what I've generally read as well...
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So, yesterday evening I was umming and ahhing for ages about whether to give him just the 4 feeds or try to cluster two together again at the end of the day so he would have five. Reason I was dithering is that his 2nd nap and catnap were rubbish so to get a decent gap between feed 3 and 4 and squeeze in a cluster feed would've meant a really long A time before bed i.e he fed at 15.00 and woke from his catnap at 17.15. I could've fed him at 1800 (so 3 hrs since the last feed but I wasn't sure that was a long enough gap to get a good feed) and then perhaps an hour later at 19.00. So in the end I decided to do the full on 4 hour EASY and feed him at 19.00. He was fine, just getting tired.
So he fed yesterday at 7.20am, 11.15am, 15.00 and 19.00. His 1900 feed went on for quite a long time (he was nodding off a bit on the job) so he didn't get to bed til 20.00. He roused at about 23.00 and went back to sleep, then roused again at 2.45am so I turned on his mobile (it has a remote control so I don't have to go in his room) and he went back to sleep quickly again. Then I could hear he was awake from about 4am/4.30am - not making any noise, just shuffling about. Eventually he started crying at 5.40am and I could tell he wanted a feed so I fed him as little as I could (not even one full boob) and he went back to sleep til I woke him at 7am. Needless to say, I got hardly any sleep last night.
I don't know what these NWs are about - I'd always associated long NWs like the 4am one with UT but he only had one good nap yesterday (1hr 40 in the morning - the other two were only 30 mins and 45mins) so he couldn't have been UT. So I'm thinking I might give the DF a try tonight as I don't really want him waking at 5.40am for a feed. Do you always do it the same time every night (i.e. 23.00) or do you do it the same amount of time after the last feed (3-4hours)??
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In my case these kind of NF even easy to resettle we're because of hunger as they stopped after adding a DF.
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That's encouraging, Martii - right, I'm going to do it!Do you do it the same time every night or does it depend on timing of last feed?
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Last feed is always 19:15 in our case and DF 10:45-11:00.
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I'd try to stick to the same time ideally just before you want to go to bed yourself. Tracy suggested 10pm-11pm. Any later tends to disturb night sleep. You might have to play around with the time to see what suits your lo best. Good luck. Let us know how it goes.
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I decided for 10:45 not 11 as sometimes LO can be so sleepy that it takes a while until he start to suck.
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Did the DF last night. No problems latching on etc- seemed to sleep pretty soundly after that. But he woke at 4am. I really didnt think he could be hungry but he want settling and I just wasnt confident enough that he wasn't hungry to try pupd etc. so I fed him as little as I could then went back to bed. But he started whinging again. Doesnt help that hes just started to gethis first cold. So I went back in abd held him for a while. He calmed a little so I put him down and sshed him for a bit. Then he started smiling at me so I though blow this, turned on his mobile and left the room. He went back to sleep but was shattered this morning when he woke. I think his A time before bed was too long last night - his last feed took ages so he ended up being awake for over 2hrs before bed. this has happened a lot recently abd I think could be contributing to the NWs but I wish I was confident enough not to feed as I really dont think he needs it a lot of the time.
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I would try resettling without feed for one night and see what will happen. He will not starve if you do not feed him once:) and frankly speaking I think it will be hard to resettle if he is really hungry. Or he will wake soon afterwards.
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Thanks Martii. Thats good advice -youre right, hes hardly going to starve! I will try resettling tonight.
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Maybe just try for 10 mins or so and if he is getting upset or rooting etc. then you will know he is probably hungry.
Btw if he isn't crying it is fine to just leave him to put himself back to sleep. Don't feel you have to rush in.
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Btw if he isn't crying it is fine to just leave him to put himself back to sleep. Don't feel you have to rush in.
Babies wake ALL THE TIME, some sleep studies say that they wake every 13 minutes. I have been surprised a few times that DS could just put himself back down without any feeds or help :-*
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Oh yes he often wakes and puts himself back to sleep, he it's an independent sleeper. Its just sometimes,he doesn't settle and thats when I feed him but I'm.not convinced he needs it. I can often just give him the smallest feed and he will go back to sleep for a good few hours/ til morning.
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How long should I try the DF for? Day 2 yesterday - did it at 10.45 and he slept til about 3ish (i think) . Seemed to be awake for ages then started crying about 4/4.30am. He was wide awake - I fed him expecting him to get dopey after a few sucks but he was wide awake so I gave a full feed and he was still awake. Put him down and he went back to sleep til about 5 and then was awake for a while again (not sure how long as I fell asleep til 7 and he was awake when I got up). I know I said I would try to resettle but hes got his first cold so didn't want to try it for the first time when hes ill.
Just thinking that hes gone to 4am or longer before without a DF so how long should I wait before expecting to see a difference?
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I had to wait two whole weeks before seeing an improvement when I implemented a df at an older age around 6mo. It did work though.
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How is it going MJ??
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Not brilliant, I'm afraid. I hope you don't all think I've thrown your advice back in your faces but I have to admit, I abandoned the DF. On the 3rd night, DS's cold had really kicked in and he was sleeping pretty badly so I didn't want to disturb him with a DF. Then I realised that I felt relieved I didn't have to do it. I think the creeping around in his room was just making me feel (even more) anxious. Plus, I go to bed really early these days as I'm not getting much sleep so I was having to set my alarm to wake me for the DF which was causing me more broken sleep and making me feel awful...tbc later, sorry got to dash for a minute!
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DF doesn't work for everyone.
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...thanks, Ali. Who knows, it might have worked for me but I just can't do it.
So in the meantime, there are so many things going on, I dont know where to even begin trying to sort them out. DS's naps have improved and I can often get good long ones with no wake ups at 30/45mins but only if I judge it correctly - we do have days with 30/45min naps all day especially if we dare to go out anywhere.
Nights are the worst though. He seems to wake so much and I cannot figure out why - in the course of a night he can wake and resettle, wake and need his mobile on to resettle, wake for a feed (usually only once), have long NWs, EWs - and I cannot link any of this to his daysleep. Sometimes his daysleep is good, sometimes bad but his nights are usually fitful.
Last nigt was awful - woke at 10 really, really screaming, settled him in about 25mins with some Calpil (assumed it was teeth?), then he woke at 12.45 for afeed (v early for him, I might have misjudged that one), then he roused at 3 & settled again with his mobile, then more screaming at 5, took more meds and 45mins to settle only for him pto skeep just another 45 mins.
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...my life feels like an endurance test. I don't know where to start with these issues as there are so many variables, I don't know what is causing what! As a result, I've kind of given in -im still following EASY (3.5hrs, with the 4th and 5th feeds just an hr apart at the end of the day as thats the only way I can make it work -although I'm not even sure this is the bestEASY for him) - I just feel like I've got to plod on, resigning myself to tricky days and exhausting nights,and hope things magically change because I'm out of ideas and feel like I've lost all intuition and instinct I might have had.
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Can your DH takeover for a night every now and again? Maybe on his day off if him working the next day is an issue.
I found the unpredictability very difficult because I am somewhat of a control freak. I think that is still the aspect of parenting that I find hardest, not being able to control the kids like I can myself and knowing I shouldn't even try ::)
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Hi Ali. Yes thats exactly how I feel - it's the lack of control. It's such a strange feeling for me as I am so not like that in any other aspect of my life. DH does help when he can. Last night DS didn't wake for a feed...but he didn't sleep soundly. I had to settle him at 11pm (which just took a few seconds), then he woke at 1.45 and settled when I turned his mobile on, then he was awake and grumpy at 5.45am. DH tried settling him but had to get him up at 6.30 in the end. But tonight, like every night nowadays,,i've got no idea what to expect.
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Hi ladies - managed to settle him quite quickly with PUPD instead of feeding at 2.30am - great. Still had long NWs and EW - not great. Have done a post on the Night Wakings board....
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Here is the link if anyone wants to jump over Re: 5month old UT NWs...but he surely can't be UT??!?!?
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thanks Ali:)
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Off to check it out!
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Thanks for sticking with me! :)