BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Naps => Topic started by: falcon6 on November 16, 2014, 21:51:21 pm
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Hi all
My ds is almost 5 months old. He has never settled himself for a nap in his cot. We started using a pacifier just for naps at around 3 months but I found I would have to re-plug it a few times before he got to sleep, his naps were very short.. and I kind of hate them so we dropped it a week or so ago. He will settle in the car seat or buggy with some mantra crying but not his cot. Twice I have tried ssh-pat for almost an hour and he showed no signs of settling so I rocked him (In fairness, he is very easy to settle in my arms and it only takes 2-3 minutes). When I try to pat him he just grabs at my hands and it seems to rile him up. I haven't tried him on his side as not sure how that works?? He is a touchy baby, very alert and strong and has a hard time switching off. Any noise will wake him.
I'm just looking for advice really on how to get him to settle as I think it's key..?? How long do I stick with ssh-pat if he continues to cry in distress?
We recently stretched our wake times to 2 hours and dropped to 3 naps but I think he is now very over-tired. Naps are all 20-30 minutes and nap extensions aren't really an option as I have a toddler too. I also find his wake time doesn't really shorten even if nap is short (ie can't get him to nap again until 2 hours). He goes down into his cot awake initially at night and settles but there can be a lot of night wakings if he is over-tired from rubbish naps.
Thanks for your support
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Hi all
My situation is pretty similar to a recent post by aMei. DS is 20 weeks and has dropped to 3 naps. He has never been a great sleeper and we are working on things (have posted another questions on naps board).
His EASY is hard to put down but he feeds 3 hourly and can handle 2 hour wake times. He'll wake at 7.30 if I take him in with me but it's not proper sleep for either of us so I want to stop it.
Two questions re EASY with an OT baby if I may:
1: What do I do on the days he wake at 5/5.30? I can only re-settle at that time by taking him into bed and nursing him. He will stay in cot happy enough but is showing definite tired signs by 7am - do I give 1st nap then??
2: If nap 3 is roughly 5-5.30 then bedtime would be 7/7.30ish but he is exhausted at this stage. To shoot for an early bedtime, do I forget about this last wake time and just put him up say, after 1 hour wake time? If he goes up at 6pm and wakes at 5am is that not a reasonable sleep. I don't want him awake before 6/6.30 ideally..
Thanks so much for your help!!
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I have merged your two posts because they are both related to sleep and you can have all support in one place :).
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It might be that the 20-30min naps are actually OT and he is ready for a bit more of A time. At his age the minimum A time (average of course) is 2h (you can look here: Average A times- BOOKMARK ME! ) so it could be that a longer A time is what he needs and will result in longer naps.
To increase A times you do it gradually and slowly, increasing by 10min and sticking with it for 4 days. You need to stick with it for 4 days so he doesn't get OT and has enough time to get used his new A time.
I know that it seems to you that he is OT so why increase A times, but IMO he is OT because he doesn't get enough day sleep, not because he gets too much A time, yk?
The Shush-pat is a very good way to settle at this age, but it does take time to work and it's important to remember that you can adjust it to work for your baby and you. For example, my DS didn't like the patting (he was touchy and it was too stimulating for him) so I just put a hand on his shoulder and did the Shush. I also did the shush to the room so to speak and not to his ear, he was also on his back always and not on his side.
I believe that the EW would sort itself when the A times are better and the naps are better, as it's all connected.
WRT BT and EBT I would say it's worth a try to do an EBT even if the nap is a bit later in the day and he doesn't get a full A time before it. My DS could always go down at BT even if it was a short A time after last nap.
HTH :)
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Thanks for your reply and sorry about the double posts! We are all over the place really and A times are far from precise. It often takes such a long time to settle him for naps that it's much longer than 2 hours. I get what you're saying though. We are just in a bad cycle at the moment and the EWs are throwing the whole day off kilter.
Any tips on how to deal with a day that starts at 5am? Is 1st nap 7/7.10am?
Thanks!
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And also if you could give me a time frame on how long to stick with ssh-pay. Is there a point when I should just give up and rock him - like maybe after an hour?
I really do appreciate your support!
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Tracey suggested to do Shush-pat for 40min if I remember right and then go out of the room for a break of 5-10min and then start again.
Does the day really start at 5AM or you can AP and get him to sleep till 7? I would try and do anything to not let him WU at this time. Like I said, it should get better once the A times are more age appropriate and naps are better.
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Rocking doesn't work but I can definitely bring him into bed and nurse him - thought that was bad news but now you say it, I don't know how else we'd get back on track!
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You just gonna do it till his A times and naps are better.
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Hi Ima shel Alon
I thought Id update you with yesterdays EASY - Im pretty pleased, the fact I can write down an EASY at all!.. but it didn't result in a better night :(
Wake 7am
E 7.30
S 9-11.15
E woke him at 11.15!
S 1.30-2.10
E 2.15
S 4.20-5.00
E 5.15
6.30 Bedtime routine
7.00 Into cot, mooched for about 10 mins then started crying - didn't settle until 7.45
11pm wake and feed (his big sister may have woken as had a rare night waking herself at 10.30)
2am wake and feed
4.40am wake and feed
6am woke crying (still tired I assumed, dh tried rocking but didn't work so just got up for day at 6.30)
* Of note, all these naps were APOP! First 2 in carseat and 2nd in sling. For now I am just happy that the paci is gone but he was settling by himself IN CRIB with it so I need to deal with self-settling for naps in crib sooner than later...
* I also think he is just getting hungry at this stage and although had planned to hold off til 6 months, I'm not sure he'll make it!
Thought we had a near perfect day so disappointed the night didn't go well but I guess it wasn't atrocious either! What do you think - do I just keep doing what I'm doing with A times??
Thank you, thank you, thank you ;)
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He's asleep 2 hours and counting again (in his pram after a walk). I wonder is he making up for lost sleep? Should i cap this? I'm reluctant as his naps are so short I feel he has making up to do!
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I think you got it right, he started napping so good in the morning because he is catching up on night sleep, so it's like his night just continues really with a bit of A time in between.
I wouldn't cap it, but I would defo work on increasing this first A time gradually as it's pretty short.
He is approaching the 3-2 transition and for that his A times would anyway need to be longer than they are right now. You still don't have to stretch the rest of the A times, but the 1st one does need some tweaking.
I remember that DS started with loads of NWs at this age and that I read somewhere that Tracey said that if there are suddenly NW at this age then it's hunger related and it's like a sign to start solids. DS was formula fed so I wasn't too worried to start it at 5m and it did work really well for us.
WRT settling in the crib, if you think you need to tackle this now, then do. Him falling asleep in the pram or swing will just get more and more difficult to get rid of. Right, there is no paci anymore, but there is Shush-pat that you can use to settle him.
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Thanks for your reply - I didn't see it over the weekend so apologies for slow response. Things have really changed since I first posted - I guess they are always changing! Its a bit hard to know what to say or what to ask you.. but do want to say thank you for your support.. The kindness of strangers!
His nights are pretty awful at the moment with a lot of waking where I am really struggling to settle him. Daytime naps are still APOP but a good length and often find I am waking him.
He's not quite 5 months yet so I thought A times of 2/2.25/2.25/2 were pretty good?
I am going to ask for help with my toddler from this Thursday and start trying sshh-pat for a few days straight. I know the pat won't work as any time I touch him, he just starts grabbing at me and getting worked up and he also lies on his back. So I may try rubbing his head where or just patting the mattress.
Anyway, we'll get there!
Thanks
Thanks
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I also didn't pat because it just stimulated him, but I put a hand on his shoulder. The great thing about Shush-pat is that you can adjust it to work for you and your son.
I thought that his is already 5m and then he would need a bit more A time, but in your case his A times sound all right. The NW sound more and more like hunger or perhaps he is in pain? Teething?
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5 months old today. Just an update for you really :)
He's been sick the past few days and I also suspect hunger may be an issue now. He has been taking crazy long naps - went down at 1.30 yesterday and I woke him at 5.15pm!! The same boy who never slept more than 45 mins until about 2 weeks ago!
Last night was asleep by 7.45 (later than usual due to epic nap). Woke at 10.30 - genuinely hungry I think as had missed a feed. Then again at 2.45. Babbling initially so left him almost 30 mins. Went in to feed him but he didn't settle and eventually hubbie rocked him to sleep by about 4am. Then slept til 7.30 and woke up happy. Not bad compared to most nights!
I am going to try to cap naps today at 90/90/45 and see if that makes a difference. Also introducing a bottle of formula at bedtime and solids in maybe 2 weeks time..
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Sounds like a good plan!