BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Naps => Topic started by: arabesque on November 25, 2014, 01:49:15 am
-
Hi lovely ladies...
My gorgeous girl is 11 weeks today. She's never been a great Napper- struggles to get to sleep (lots of mantra crying! Lots!) and now wakes every 40 mins- whether in car, pram or cot.
I can't extend her in cot- seems that movement is only thing that helps. But my back is bad and I can't carry her in the sling for hours each day, which I was resorting to because shh pat doesn't work. She just screams and screams with shh pat and it breaks my heart (and back).
Is there anything you'd suggest? She has reflux which is under control with meds. She is smiley when the time is right and I really think she just dislikes naps (although shows tired signs). She would happily nap for 45 mins 4xa day but then would fall asleep feeding I'm sure. And her a time is already long!
Here's our easy:
E 7am
A
S 8:25-10 (I live in hope. She wakes by 9:15 and then into sling :/
E 10am
A
S 11:30-1, see above
E 1pm
A
S 2:25 in car for school pickup
E 4pm
A
S catnap in sling 5:15/30
Bath
E 6:30
Bed
DF 10:15ish
Nf anywhere between 2:30 and 4am
Please note that wgen S starts, that's me putting her in, not usually her going to sleep.
Please offer your suggestions...I'd love to find a way to get longer naps and not in the sling :)
-
Hi there. Do you think she is used to movement as a prop putting her to sleep? In that case, it would take a while for her to get used to going to bed without it.
When it comes to naps, you have to really look at the entire picture including the A time before that. Could she be over stimulated? What kind of wind down are you doing? She might need some quiet time before being put down. Do you use the 4 S wind down? If she is struggling to get to sleep, it could even be under tiredness and she might need more activity in her A time.
I will just share what worked for us and maybe that will help. First of all we darkened the nursery completely. Then we did a PRE wind down to the windown (haha) which consisted of just walking around for a bit, then the 4 S - held till drowsy and put down. My DD also went through a phase of HATING the shush. We just stopped doing it and hummed instead.
Since you know it will take a while for her to go to sleep, you could start with your routine a bit earlier so that she is asleep in time. It would take a while for her to get over the motion prop
Here are just a lot of links for you to go through :) Hope you find them helpful
How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)
Why is it important that my baby gets more than a 45 minute nap?
short naps - remember to consider overstimulation!
What are A times and how do they fit into the EASY routine?
Sleep and the reflux baby.
What does a good wind down consist of (Includes 4S ritual)
x
-
Thanks! I'll take a look at the links. She does go to sleep in the cot, at least one nap a day, but wakes at the 45 and my only way of successfully extending has been in the sling. She's a very alert baby, and is say she's touchy like my first son.
Currently she's in car at school pickup, and second someone her, so this is second terrible nap of the day (last nap was when I wrote this post, after unsuccessful shh pat! ;)
-
Thx for links. I tried to do a good wind down and as soon as we sat down she started crying. She cries whenever it's nap time and I end up putting her in crying because I can't calm her down.
Today in desperation I gave paci at 8:25 am. She slept until 9am, and it was out, so I replaced but she's wide awake and I think she won't go back to sleep. I really don't know what to do.
-
Hi hon, (((hugs))) short nappers are the pits! All of mine were short nappers at that age and the baby still is! :P If she's happy doing the 4 short naps at this point, you may just have to go with it until she is developmentally ready to lengthen them.
With my DS1, I did as you're doing with the sling only I used a swing. He woke between 35-45min every nap and I put him in the swing to finish off. This worked until about 4mo and then I just let him sleep short naps, but put him in the swing for one long (up to 2.5hr) nap per day. He was an independent sleeper at all other times. At 5mo old, I used w2s on him and did it consistently for a couple weeks. He then started sleeping the long middle nap on his own (the other two were often still short).
My DS2 sounds much like your DD. I could never get him to resettle, even when I had the time to try. He just wouldn't do it. So, I gave up and let him short nap and tried to AP one long one per day as well, but it wasn't always a given. He started to do longer ones when I properly sleep trained him around 6mo, but then we fell back into some bad habits and even though he's now an IS, he short naps. :-\
I guess my point is sometimes you just can't force it no matter how hard you try and sometimes it's not worth putting yourself through the frustration and madness. IIWY, I'd use the sling as often as you feel comfortable or just try for at least one long nap per day to get her through, even if it's APd.
The one thing I notice is that you mention shh/pat seems to make her more upset. Have you tried a variation like rubbing her back or thigh or stroking her temple? I've also seen moms on here who put one arm across babe from one hip to the opposite shoulder and then pat or tap the shoulder. Some babies just don't like shh/pat, so it's good to try other things.
HTH!
-
Thank you. I've been beside myself today. Two 30 min naps which is obvs OT, extended first in sling after trying shh pat for 30 mins. Extended second after letting her mantra cry after first sleep cycle for too long...feeling dreadful. Then she fell asleep feeding. just going to put her in again now. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. It's so hard :(
-
More (((hugs))). Have you tired being in there before she wakes to do a hold through the jolts or shh/pat before she fully comes to? Or maybe reinsert the paci to get her sucking again as a kind of wake-to-sleep?
-
Oh, same thing here with the sitting. DD will scream her head off if I sit. So I stand for that part. Lol. Here too we went through a phase of DD crying at nap time. With her, she understands things pretty fast and so she caught on to the 4s and would yell as soon as I closed the curtains or even went into her room when it was dark or even started singing Twinkle twinkle. I think the world is just so exciting for them and they just don't want to sleep yk? Of course all this lunacy is reserved only for me. DH can swaddle her in a pitch black room, pop her into the crib and walk out and madam baby will sleep for ages. Meh! So I just keep changing the way I do things to keep her guessing. Right now I am keeping her room completely bright when I go in to swaddle her. Then singing twinkle twinkle (again in bright room) and then I say okay it is nap time and put her down in her crib. Then I draw the curtains and put on her music box. Sometimes she naps off, sometimes I need to go sit on a chair next to the crib and hum some more.
Before this, we were going in to the nursery, and sitting in the dim light and singing 'I know an old lady' or reading a book and then when she started spacing out, continuing with swaddling and putting down. But I found that a bit too much -- sleep time shouldn't have to be such a song & dance routine. It is really quite exhausting
Hugs from me too!
-
My dd sounds just like yours.
We made it through the day and I was so happy to get her to bed...and now she's woken after one sleep cycle. Sitting here in tears because she was excellent at night, it was my only success, and now that seems to be ruined too!
-
Oh hun, don't worry. OT affects everything! While you are working extending A times, night sleep can get affected due to too much OT build up. But it only happens for a few days. Try for an early bedtime and very low key activities before bed. No tears - you will get through this! *tight hug*
-
Thanks :) yesterday was a particularly hard day. Today I tried harder to go with the flow and let her be awake even if it wasn't "according to routine"! Here was my day...better sleep overall though not in the blocks I dream of ;)
E 7am
A
S 8:22-9am, couldn't resettle. Tried w2s, tried to hold through jolts, tried to pat back to sleep, tried maya wrap, tried car!
So A time!
E 10am
A
S 11:10-12:10 in pram
A
E 1pm
S 1:55-2:35 in car/pram seat
A
S resettle in car round 3pm-3:50
A
E 4pm
A
S 5:30-5:50 in sling
Bath
E 6:30
Bed 7:10
One top up feed at 7:20
Waiting now for DF :)
-
Were the pram/ car seat & sling naps because she would not settle in her crib or due to other reasons like picking up your other kids? A little out there idea -- if you post your daily routine, maybe we could work out a routine to complement it as a standard EASY might not be the best fit with two other kids and the responsibilities that go along with it. What do you think?
-
Thanks :)
Yes we were heading out for 10am, so the first trip I left a little early to try to get her bavk to sleep. Second trip I also left early as she was tired and I didn't want to put her into cot and have to wake her shortly after.
My day looks like...
School run at 8am some days, other days husband drops ds1
Tues and fri I leave with ds2 for preschool at 8:30
Every weekday afternoon I leave at 2:30 for school pickup, home about 3:40
Two afternoons a week we have after school activities
Sunday and Thursday morning we leave for church at 9:15, home around 11:30/12
Not much opp for home sleeping :( and often ds2 wants another outing in the week.
Thanks for taking the time to help me, it's very much appreciated!
-
Maybe you could pick one nap in the day which could consistently be in the crib. That way she will get used to napping here too. You would have to be a bit consistent with this one though as you are teaching her to sleep in there.
For the rest, I don't think you have an option but to do what you are doing. But maybe you could have some key phrases or a song that she could associate with sleep time. And with the pram, you could even do your nap time routine and put her in there.
With only one LO, I'm not the best person to be advising you on this :) Does she go to bed okay?
-
I agree^^^. There was lots of winging it with #3 for me until about 5/6mo when naps were more predictable. When you have school runs and activities there's not much else you can do. I did try for one crib nap per day and did it when DS2 napped. It wasn't always pretty, but I didn't really have another option.
-
Hi again :) we had a few decent nap days where I could get her down for over an hour, and yesterday and today we are bavk to short naps- this morning was only 30 mins...but I do believe that was under tired not overtired! She's already on 1.5hr A time at only 12 weeks...surely she can't need more than that?! She's in the maya wrap now after I spent 20 mins shh pat when she woke at 30 min mark...was so proud of myself for getting her back to sleep but then she woke 5 mins later! I know it's bad to say but I find myself wishing away these days so we can get to decent nap length when she's older :/
-
She's already on 1.5hr A time at only 12 weeks...surely she can't need more than that?!
She could, if she's a high A baby... 1.5hr is on the high side but not outrageous... average A for a 3mo old is 1h20-30min. Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!
I know it's bad to say but I find myself wishing away these days so we can get to decent nap length when she's older :/
Not bad... normal when you have other LOs. I'm now at the point of wanting to get to one nap as soon as we can because it just makes life easier! (((Hugs)))
-
As we drop naps, I keep thinking that now things will fall into place and the naps will magically lengthen as everyone says it happened for them. High hopes so far! But nothing for it but to keep trying, right? One nap ftw! We are already on 3.15 A here so hopefully in a few months!
It is already amazing how you ladies take care of your multiple kids. Give yourself a break arabesque. Things will fall into place in time. You are already moving in the right direction
-
Thanks guys. Going to start moving towards 3.5 hr easy...school
Holidays start next week for 6 weeks so here's hoping I can manage to entertain my bigger boys while keeping some sort of EASY happening!
-
Holidays start next week for 6 weeks so here's hoping I can manage to entertain my bigger boys while keeping some sort of EASY happening!
Hopefully they play well together?! ;)
-
Yes they're pretty good :) unless chess is involved...mr7 gets frustrated at mr4 who likes to make up his own rules!
-
Ha! :D
-
Juts seeing this now - sorry I missed it earlier.
This sounds remarkably familiar to me..... have you seen this?How Tracy Helped Josie and her Family Get Past 45-Min. Naps!
-
Thank you! Yes she sounds just the same!