BabyWhispererForums.com
EAT => Breast Feeding => Topic started by: grace annes mommy on November 30, 2015, 19:38:54 pm
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J had a rough start (heart surgery and feeding issues afterwards) so we are only now getting to the point where she is ready to try breast feeding. She is 10 weeks. I'm working with a lactation consultant and am motivated, but progress is slow and it's hard work.
Anyone btdt and want to share your story with me?
Or just want to hold my hand and root us on?
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So glad she's doing so well! Happy to hold your hand and cheer you on xx
Not sure I can be of much help, though :( Does she root for a feed?
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Here to support. What seems to be the problem? Rooting? Sucking?
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Here to hold your hand
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Thanks, ladies! I need the moral support!
Mostly, she just cries at my breast. :-\ Before surgery, I only had 2 chances to try to get her to latch and they were both unsuccessful. She was intubated for the surgery which created an oral aversion plus vocal cord parysis which affected/affects her swallow. 6 weeks ago, she was getting most of her feeds from a NG (feeding) tube and now she's taking it all by bottle, so we've come a long way. We've gotten her over her aversion and she happily takes a paci or bottle. And her vocal cords have done a lot of healing, but still are not 100%. However, she's moved away from the preemie nipples now, so she is coping with regular flow much better. We are using Avent Natural bottles and I am compressing her cheeks to help her learn the suck needed at the breast. And I'm using a nipple shield since she's used to the silicone. We've had random successes. A handful of times, she's latched on and nursed for a couple sucks to a few minutes. Last Friday was our biggest success - she took half her feed by breast and even dozed while she nursed. Since then, she pretty much hasn't latched on... :( I think mostly she struggles with the flow. It's either too much or too slow. I also struggle to find good opportunities to get her to latch - she's either too hungry or not hungry or too tired, etc.
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Cheering you on, you have come such a long way!!
Can you do a lot (like an awful lot) of skin to skin with her? Just hang out and let her decide on whether she wants to try or not?
Also, we're trying biological nurturing and finding it really relaxing compared to the more traditional holds. Might be worth a try?
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cheering you on here too :) you guys are doing amazingly well
no btdt advice but this would be my suggestion too:
Can you do a lot (like an awful lot) of skin to skin with her? Just hang out and let her decide on whether she wants to try or not?
if she's struggling with fast flow at times, you could perhaps try some of the suggestions here:
Oversupply and Overactive (Forceful) Let-Down
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Since then, she pretty much hasn't latched on...
What do you mean by that? She couldn't stay on?
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No btdt but here for the moral support!
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Since then, she pretty much hasn't latched on...
What do you mean by that? She couldn't stay on?
She cries every time she's near my breast... I did lots of skin to skin and offering the breast at our last feeding just a bit ago, but she just gets really mad. Just wants her bottle. I wonder if I should take a couple days off and start fresh? She's obviously averse to the breast right now for some reason...
I just looked up biological nurturing. Very interesting.
And thanks for the forceful letdown link. Will have a look.
Some of the challenge with skin to skin is she's not very comfy on her tummy. There might still be some soreness on her chest but also she just doesn't love tummy time. So I find it challenging to get us both relaxed and comfortable. She also doesn't love being cradled in my arms.
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She cries every time she's near my breast... I did lots of skin to skin and offering the breast at our last feeding just a bit ago, but she just gets really mad.
If she did latch successfully the other day, it sounds like there is something else. Have you tried letting her find the nipple? Perhaps lay her on your chest and let her find it when you are laying down? Or try both lying on the bed and you on your side?
Just my 2 cents, I am no expert at it. Lots of vibes xx
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yes, I've tried just letting her hang out near my breast hoping she might just nuzzle into my nipple and latch, but she either shows no interest or gets annoyed. It gets frustrating bc she does latch on when offered every once in a while so I know she can but I can't figure out why she won't do it again. There's something she doesn't like and usually even if she latches, she'll pull off after a few minutes and cry. That's why the other day was so successful bc she was calm and even dozed off. But since then, no go. I don't get it.
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Have you just recently changed soap, skin care products, scent or eaten something she doesn't like?
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Have you tried to offer when she is very sleepy? It may help to get her used to it, while she is relaxed?
My son refused the breast for about a week after having his tongue tie clipped. Not exactly the same situation as you, but I was able to get him back on the breast by offering when he was calm, like just after a bottle feed, or when he was dozing off. It took many days, and I think the key is not to be stressed about it as she will feel your stress.
I also second skin to skin and biological nurturing. Even if she doesn't like to be on her tummy, I would try to cradle her even if you're sitting on a chair, it's still skin to skin and it may help her feel more relaxed and then you can try to move her and see if she will latch?
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Also it may be helpful to pace the bottle so that she she gets a flow similar to BF when you bottle feed?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UH4T70OSzGs&app=desktop
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You have great advice already so I'll just join in the hand holding. And kudos to your for persevering in such difficult circumstances.
What is the LC advising?
Is a supplemental nursing system an option?
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You ladies are the best! Thank you so much for the support and ideas. It's taken a lot for me to keep pumping the last 10 weeks. It's worth it and it's what's best for J, but it's a lot of work! Thanks for cheering me on!
ENMS - I'm happy to hear your LO is nursing again! I remember your thread a bit ago about pumping. I've been reluctant to offer the breast when J's drowsy bc I don't want to work her up. But that makes sense that it's a good time to offer it. I'll work up the courage tomorrow night when she's drifting on the bottle and see how it goes. And thank you for that video. A couple weeks ago, when we were still on preemie nipples and concerned about her vocal cords (and aspirating), that is similar to how we were feeding her. But since we've been since things have improved and we've been less concerned, she's really just been guzzling away. She's a fussy feeder in general, though. She guzzles too fast, then cries and pulls off and needs a good hard burping, then starts guzzling again. She also has reflux. I will definitely try tomorrow what's suggested in the video and try to pace her a bit.
Have you just recently changed soap, skin care products, scent or eaten something she doesn't like?
Not that I can think of, but I'll try to pay attention to that. The thing is, there haven't been any periods where she's consistently nursed. It's like the stars align and for whatever reason she'll entertain the breast at one feeding, then the next feeding she just screams at it. Every few days, she seems to forget how much she hates it and will try when offered. Then the next go around, she remembers she doesn't want it after all!
Ali - The LC has suggested skin to skin after feedings or when possible and using the nipple shield. Offering breast about half way thru a bottle feed or at other points but not to the point that she's getting overly upset. She also had us switch to the natural bottles and use the cheek compression to improve her latch. She's been pleased that she's switched well to the new bottles and has nursed briefly a couple times. She's mostly just reminding me that J has been through a lot and that she's made a lot of changes in the way she feeds already, so to have patience. Which I do completely agree! She does feel optimistic that she will get there. We haven't discussed a supplemental nursing system. I know what it is, but don't know too much about it. I'm due to call the LC to check in in the next day or so, so we'll see if I should just keep plodding along or if we should try something else.
So no successful nursing today. Lots of crying at the breast. But I got in the bath with her this evening which she loved and she did root at and mouth my breast without latching but without crying so that's a positive to end on.
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Have you looked into a supplemental nursing system? Its a lot of a PITA apparently but might help with J's frustration.
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So no successful nursing today. Lots of crying at the breast. But I got in the bath with her this evening which she loved and she did root at and mouth my breast without latching but without crying so that's a positive to end on.
It sounds like she knows when she wants what she wants. I would just keep offering but follow her lead and if she prefers the bottle that feed, so be it. That was perhaps her way to communicate with you what she feels like. more hugs xx
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Great progress in the bath!! Maybe just try that every day, for now? Slow, baby steps - you've come such a long way already xxx
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Well, have been feeling very discouraged and decided to take the weekend off. I did briefly offer her my breast with the nipple shield yesterday, but she just cried. Then this morning, she was sitting on my lap while I pumped. As I was nearing the end of my pumping, she was fussing a bit so I ended. I offered her my naked milky breast and she latched right on! Even stopped to be burped and latched back. After her nap, I knew she'd be very hungry since I'm not sure how much she really got nursing so decided to offer again instead of the bottle, but she just cried and cried. I was fairly determined since she had just done it a few hours before! My milk let down as she was crying and she did suck briefly but it seemed the flow was a bit much? I tried everything to get her back on - with the shield, without, different positions including lying down, I tried pumping for a bit then putting her back on. Finally, gave her the bottle as she was too upset and hungry and took the rest of the day off. Ah well. I'm playing phone tag with the LC at the moment so curious what she has to say.
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Well, lovely that you know she can latch. Have you tried hand expressing and leaving the milk on you and then having her on your chest, simulate what you did when she latched? Maybe she's picking up on the tension? If she'll latch more easily when you're relaxed, it might help to just have no pressure on it. She probably doesn't equate breast = food, yk?
Hope LC is helpful xx
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no advice but just ((hugs)) and cheering you on for persevering. You are doing an amazing job. Lovely that she latched on again :) DYT she might prefer it without the shield?
It must be very frustrating but it sounds like you're being so patient with her.
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Talked to the LC and she basically just said keep doing as we're doing and don't force it. Stay relaxed and she'll get there when she's ready. Seems like such an uphill battle, it's hard to stay motivated some days.
becj86 - yes, I do think she picks up on my tension. I try to be nonchalant but sometimes I feel like 'come on! I know you can do this!'
cath - can't tell if she prefers the shield or not. I'll continue to offer both, I suppose.
There have been times where she's obviously not coping with the flow so it makes me think her vocal cords are still not 100%. In that case, she really won't be ready until she's fully healed, yk? I have an appt. with speech therapy next week, so maybe they'll have some insight there.
Thanks for the support! It helps!
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If BabyTwo is anything to go by, the flow can be a bit overwhelming for them at this age.
It's so hard to stay relaxed, isn't it? Just think - when you come out the other side you'll have a baby who takes breast and bottle. Awesome!!
Keep going, you can do this!
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Mine was still struggling with the flow at 15 months wi the my overactive letdown, so lying back and keeping it calm can help. L actually latched really well when i was lying in the bath with him on my chest.
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thinking of you and just wondering how things are going? x
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Thank you so much for checking in! I'm actually feeling really discouraged. :-\ She is just not interested in my breasts and for the past week or more I pretty much haven't offered. I've started working again (part time, from home so not that big a deal), and DD1 is off for Winter Break. Things are busy and it's hard enough to just pump and get everyone fed or napped. I'm really not keeping up with the skin to skin or trying to get her to latch. I wish it were easier...
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I would be exactly the same. You're doing a great job just pumping, remember that xxx
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(((Hugs)))
Yes, you are doing an incredible job pumping, and if it isn't meant to be it isn't meant to be. You can only do so much xxx
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Is she not even interested if you lift her in her sleep and offer the breast? Or at NWs?
Well done on keeping up the pumping.
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Ali - I haven't tried that, actually. It did cross my mind last night in the middle of the night waiting for a bottle to warm but I didn't want her to get more upset and wake up more. Maybe next time we have a low key day, I'll try offering mid-nap? Do you think that might work? I'm a real chicken about messing with night sleep.
I offered this morning after pumping and she did do a bit of sucking. I did the same later in the day and she had no interest. It's kind of like if I don't offer for a couple days, she forgets she doesn't like it. But if I offer too often, she's over it. I may just offer every couple days with no expectation when the mood strikes us. Maybe I'll get lucky one of these days and she'll really take to it.
Thank you for the encouragement on pumping! It is a commitment and I'm proud of myself for doing it.
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You should be really proud. Especially considering everything else you have been through.