BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => Night Wakings => Topic started by: Kimberly® on May 02, 2006, 13:21:40 pm
-
After reading posts, and hearing from people, I think its important for mom with babies who don't sleep through the night to have a support group. To many moms are told "well my baby sleeps right though the night" and I feel its important that those who don't know they aren't alone.
Do you often wake dreary eyed?
Do you feel like your in a semi conscious state most days?
Do you find your self up more then once a night (for LO 4+ months)?
do you often want to strangle mom's who brag their LO sleeps all night?
Do you feel alone or like no one understands?
This is the place for you. Find support and maybe even an answer. Know you are not alone.
-
Karita - what a wonderful thread!! We are struggling with night wakings still and Molly just turned 1. :o
I wonder sometimes if I will be sleep deprived for the rest of my life?? I still suffer from PPD (obviously the night wakings do not help this) and every night hope for just one straight sleep through!!
Thanks for understanding. :-*
-
Thanks for the thread. Answers to your questions: yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and double yes!!! Who are those moms with babies that sleep soundly for 12 hours?
It's nice to know my baby is not "abnormal."
Anyone else SICK of people telling them:
!) Well, he needs more cereal
2) Let him cry it out
3) It's b/c you let him sleep in a bouncy chair when he was newborn
4) It's because he slept in your room
5) He must be able to smell you near him and wants milk
6) You should drink a lot of wine before you Bf him
7) He must be too hot
8) He must be too cold
9) He has allergies to your dogs
10) You swaddled him and now he can't control his limbs
11) Just put him on his tummy and say a prayer
12) He needs more fresh air
And countless others!!!!!!
-
i can definitely relate to this my lo is just 6 months and has never sleep through the nite yet i have had some 6 hr stretches but i think it was just to sike me out in hopes that i might be sleeping through the nite soon ha ha mom. I guess i am lucky that he doesn't want to stay up though he just needs to eat then right back to sleep. I feel like an old lady i go to bed maybye 9pm at the latest just so i don't feel so deprived and i have 2 girls one 19 the other 14 they both sleep through by time they were 3 months whats with it is it just boys.
-
I don't think its just boys. Though grumpy, touchy and spirited seem to have the most trouble sleeping though the night.
My LO was one of those rare 7-7 sleepers. She has recently reverted to waking once a night again. A lot of them do that. They'll start to sleep though and then teething, illness, or other factors change everything and they wake again.
I am currently working OK retraining her not to sleep. She's been ill and thats what changed it. So even babies who do sleep though early don't always stay sleeping though.
Remember that next time someone brags about their LO sleeping.
Sometimes you need to just vent.
-
thanks for starting this.
my dd is almost 8 months and only ONE night I had a stretch from 8-4 and I thought I had died. I'm sure I didn't sleep well wondering if she had died. Then the next night it was over. I often wonder what it would feel like to sleep 7 or 8 hours in a row again.
I have tried everything, literally everything. My dd is so in love with life and action that she just doesn't sleep very well. In the beginning, during the day, she would take 5 or 6 30 minute naps :o :o :o Everyone told me to do different things and finally she just did it. She's still not a fabulous napper, but instead of getting 5 or 6 30 minute naps, we sometimes gets one.
as far as night sleep, well up every 4 hours is my LO. I've tried feeding more, holding more, nursing more, feeding more during the day, and sorry to admit it, but CIO. CIO didn't work because my child doesn't actually cry. She fusses for 20 minutes and falls asleep. Only to wake 2 hours later!
She knows how to fall asleep and I've given her all the tools. I think I just have to wait until the day comes where she actually decides to sleep. This is so incredibly frustrating when there are mom's around me that have children that sleep. You would think I'm doing something wrong. I'm sure feeding is something wrong, but even when I cut that out, she wakes up!!!
ARGHHH....I'm with all you ladies and I'm so glad that this is here....I thought that I had the only 8 month old that never sleeps. :'(
-
I was talking to a friend of mine, who is does sleep training help, one of the few ones down under who doesn't use a form of controlled crying & she mentioned that it is actually "developmentally" hard for many babies to sleep through as a regular occurance until age 3yo... many will sleep good blocks until say 4/5am, but about 50% of babies still wake between 6 & 12 months & as Karita said, those that formerly slept through stop, because of illness, teething, developmental etc.
Sleep deprivation IS used as torture & those of us who have had long periods of broken nights... ds#1 pretty much only started sleeping through regularly when I was preg with ds#2 & started waking again when ds#2 slept through (due to illness) & then ds#2 started waking again (also due to illness) so between the 2 of them I have been up pretty much most nights in the last 3 years...
The best thing I can say to deal with it is... accept it is normal & go to be earlier yourself, it does get better
-
My lack of sleep is affecting my marriage.
I'm so exhausted in so many ways.
-
this is such a grat thread thnax Karita! We needed it!
Shimmer...I know what u mean...I have turned into a sleep deprived monster!
Anyone out there who's babies werent sleep thru and now are?? Give us some HOPE!!! ;D
-
my lo had soo many night wakings when she was 7months and younger!! i'm talking 5-10 a night! i was a wreck as many of you are descibing/feeling. it was a long road eliminating things - early cereal, constipation, too much sleep, revamping routines, early wake ups, overtiredness...etc...etc...but she did start sleeping through at about 8 months or so. now, with teeth always coming, developmentally, all that great stuff - she does still wake here and there but nothing like what i experienced in the early days...i think most of the time - it's more than one thing and lo just has a hard time 'digesting' all the new info about life and living it kwim?
btw - great idea for a thread karita!!!
-
thank u! there is hope??? will sit tight :-\
-
We are approaching the 8 month mark, maybe there are great things in store. thanks for the encouragment :)
-
So.. to all those with babies where the sleep situation got better... did it just happen one night? Like, one night LO just went all the way through? Or was it gradual like it went from several wakes to one to none?
Also, anyone else terrified of having another baby at this point? :-\ I don't know if I can hack another 6 months like the past 6 any time soon and especially with a toddlerin tow! ;)
-
For us we had 10 weeks of horrible colic, no sleep for anyone in this house. I got to a point where I didn't want anything to do with the baby, my husband or my life. This was the lowest of my low days. When PPD had a hold on me to the point where I thought I was going completely nuts.
I spent many of those first weeks in tears with my DD. I reached a braking point one night when I just couldn't figure out what was wrong with my DD, she wouldn't go to sleep, she wouldn't eat, rocking, walking, bouncing, you name it it didn't help. I kept trying to get her to eat, thinking if I at least got the bottle in her mouth she would stop, she kept refusing it and I through the bottle across the room and screamed. I still get really emotional when I think that I did that, that I wanted to throw her. My DH took her from me and I left the house in tears. When I came home DP was at the door waiting for me. The baby had fallen asleep while I was out and he took me into his arms and we went to bed where I fell asleep crying in his arms.
We woke up at 7am the next morning and realised that neither of us had gotten up for her. She'd fallen asleep at about 9pm, we paniced and ran to her nursery and there she was cooing and talking to her mobile. The next week she was fussy, but not like she had been and she was going 8 hour stretches at night. A week later I discovered the 7pm bedtime and she started sleeping 12 hour stretches. She woke the odd time at night to eat, when she woke I knew it was for food so I fed her and we slept. But that was once a week maybe. Recently (in the last 2-3 weeks) she started waking at night again, but she's pretty easy to settle now and sleeps till 8am.
I think telling my story is important, because even those of us helping you know what its like, and I think its important that people know we've been there, we have the experience, and we really do want to help.
Never feel alone, never be afread to ask for help. I don't want anyone to feel what I felt.
-
Thanks for this thread!
My ds slept through for 12 hrs with a df at 10 weeks. This lasted about 3-4 weeks, when teething, tummy troubles and developmental issues crept in. Now he will have some very bad nights and on others will sleep through or at least put himself back to sleep when he wakes. It almost always seems to be related to gas, reflux, poops, teeth or the desire to crawl and stand up in his sleep. It think it can be frustrating to try to "fix" this when in reality some of them just need to grow older. I remember with ds#1 I finally realized that I can get so worked up about what I am doing wrong ro what I "should" or "should not" be doing to help him sleep. The reality is that for the most part his sleep got better because he got older. I am sure some easy babies can naturally sleep through but for some, they need some extra help until their kinks get worked out. The hardest part (aside from the debilitating sleep deprivation) is the feeling like a bad mother when you don't do or can't do things that people suggest. It is really hard to be second guessing yourself all the time. We are programmed to want to help and soothe our babies and to do what it takes to make them feel better. It is hard to switch that off and not do the one thing we know will work in the name of teaching self-soothing skills (my personal struggle ::) ;)).
Anyway, I am glad to see there is a place for parents of night wakers to go for support!
-
from the point of first starting to get things sorted out - getting on even keel with the reflux situation and mommy not feeling bad b/c lo was in pain anymore...did so much accidental parenting b/c of this. it took about 2 months and although with each thing i tried it got a little bit better there were still issues to be resolved. after i finally got everything taken care of - weaning the ngiht feedings, not rushing in when baby wimpered, discomfort (gas) out of the way, she would wake once or twice a night...once in awhile we would have some setbacks and i would think 'oh no - pls god not again! but it was just normal regression that would last a day or two...after i got sick of the one or two wakings - that were at that point a blessing - i started sleep training and also had regression with that but eventually it did all come together literally in a night for us - the deal breaker that i didn't realize was contributing was the df - it was at about 8 months - i was like 'i have tried everything let's try this! and it worked - sometimes you just don't realize and it's right under your nose!
oh and i forgot to add that my lo also had/has an intolerance to baby cereal...i tried again last week and had the same gassy/constipated results. that was the second thing we had to conquer and figure out on our road to sleepdom..the first was mommy's intake of caffeine - that was a BIG source of tummy aches and gas discomforts.
-
Mi answer to all taht questions is YES!!!
my LO was waking, just 2 times, but I had to travel last week, and now he is worse than before.....2 weeksago, he put himself to sleep, just useing his paci, now that I´m back, he awakes at 2:45 a.m. ,cries and fusses, wants to eat :o, (he stopped that since 2 months) and sleeps again at 4:00 a.m......he cries and calls "mama, mama, maaaaaaaaa" and we are on the edge!!
-
Just wanted to chime in to say that I, too, am afraid of having another baby, but usually only when the going is really bad (6 nws each night, 45 min naps all day long, inexplicable, constant fussiness).
Since naps and nights have sorted themselves out a bit (only for a few nights so far, but I'm hoping!), it doesn't seem as scary. Also, my poor ds was already 4 mos when I found it, but my next baby will be BW from the start. Maybe that will make the start a little smoother. And maybe I won't have to have another csec!
For those of you who have a BW baby who has to go to daycare or a childminder, I know that must be hard because they can't always stick to the routine. Just keep it up at home and do the best you can, ladies!
-
Thanks ladies for sharing your stories- I like reading them!
I just have to say that I am out of ideas. I believe I have to accept that we have a problem without a solution . My nature is to "fix" problems but this one is a toughie. My baby wakes up 3 times a night and that's the way it is. He might grow out of it and he might not. He's not the first baby who can't sleep the night and he's not the last. I feel like I have tried everything! I'm not sure I want to go to the next step which would be more on the medical side of things. I believe in my heart that there's nothing physically wrong with my baby- he just can't learn to sleep well and it's not for a lack of trying. My son is happy and healthy and thriving and that's what matters. I don't feel guilty for not being able to make him sleep but I feel sad about it. Plus, he'll have his dose in 30 years when he has a DS that doesn't sleep. Just like my mother had with me.
Yaya and I were looking into Cranial Osteopathy for babies(massage for babies heads that were possibly wrenched the wrong way in delivery which can cause sleep probs and food probs) (http://www.billferguson.co.uk/babies.htm) and chuckling a bit about the part that says "Possible After Effects: Sometimes the baby will sleep for a long period, especially after the first treatment." YES! YES! YES!
-
I believe the food problems can be a big thing. When their systems are irritated or not feeling well, they just cannot turn off and stay asleep. It affects them even at a chemical level. I am convinced my ds actually has the potential to be a very good sleeper, but his tummy gives him so much trouble. I have tried everything to figure out what is irritating him (constipation, reflux, gas etc.) and very now and then it will be better, ds will sleep better and I think we are over it, but then it strikes again! I am curious about the cranial osteopathy though...
-
Sleeping and eating both effect each other. Both are different for different baby types too.
Angle and textbook babies usually sleep through sooner then grumpy, touchy, and especially spirited. Know your child's "type" can make a huge difference in both your expectations and methods for your child.
Take heart all who have/had colicy babies. Research has shown that if your first child is colicy, the next one is not and all subsequent children who follow.
Colic is enough to drive even the sainest person nuts. I don't know about you guys, but I'm relieved from this news :)
-
If my poor sweet dd's colic wasn't enough to possibly turn her into an only child, I don't know what is! ::)
-
I'm one of those spoiled moms that HAD a baby that slept through the night, but now wakes up very early in the morning. As I look back, this all started around the time we dropped the catnap and the dream feed. I followed the BW book to the tee, and have a seemingly textbook baby. I know I have made mistakes while trying to get LO back to sleep, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do ! 8) I just keep hoping and praying that this too shall pass! I pray for all mothers with babies that need a good night's sleep! Good luck mommies! This thread is so encouraging! Thank you!
-
OK- I feel like I am going to lose my mind.... my 5m old will not sleep- not at all. I am lucky to get 6-8 hours a day out of him. He falls alseep in my arms after a feeding and as soon as his little head hits the crib he is wide awake and screaming. I have tried putting him down once I see his signs of being tired set in but it doesn't work. I do not know what to do- he has started getting worse- he won't sleep in the day or night. I can not see myself having another child at all at this point I am running on empty. I have made sure that I feed him enough so his belly is good and full for bedtime- which by the way is anywhere between 9:30 and midnight because he won't go sooner. I have tried the PU/PD , the standing in the room and talking method, the crying it out method ( which I swear to god is a killer for both him and I) and I just out of ideas. It's nice to know I am not alone but does anyone know what to do??
-
sleepless - so sorry for you, hugs. These are a few suggestions that I would try.
Is he cranky all day? He's probably not sleeping because he's overtired. vicious cycle.
My LO did this too and someone gave me some advice that seemed to help. hope it can help you. At this point he just needs sleep. He needs to catch up in order for you to establish some type of consistency. If he sleeps for an extended period on you, let him. I tried this for a while just to get her to sleep and over the course of time it started to work. After that I tackled one nap. If I could get her to nap one time in her crib or without me than that would be a success. After that happened, I then moved onto the next. You get the idea. I was so overwhelmed in the beginning that I didn't even know where to start.
another thing that has worked for us is creating the most calm environment possible. I have a high strung one so I needed to find a quiet room, soft music, dim lights...etc. I would spend about 15 minutes laying on the bed, floor, sitting in the chair, just playing. that seemed to ease the transition into sleeping pretty well.
I don't know if any of this is helpful. I'm sure alot of it is what you have heard before. I truly hope something works for you. ???
-
sleepless; I have to agree your LO has hit a state of cronic overtiredness. What kind of a routine have you tried? do you have one in place for feeding or do you feed on demand?
-
What a wonderful thread!
I love reading everyone elses stories.... I am not alone!!!
My lo is 9 months old and wakes up a lot at nght and it only seems to be getting worse!! I use to be able to get her back to sleep with a little pat on the back or a breastfeed, but those days are gone! Now she screams when I leave the room...
sigh :-\
I am sooooo tired and don't know how much more I can take! She probably has some seperation anxiety because she is at that age and it seems like she has been teething for 6 months with no teeth! I wish there was some way to get her to sleep through the night!!
My husband asked what i wanted for Mothers day and the only thing I want is 8 hours of undisturbed sleep!!
Sleepless in Toronto!!
-
Hi there,
My LO is 6 months and I have had one night where she slept for 6 hours before waking. I just went through 2 nights where she woke up every 2 hours. I'm now spending the week at home enforcing a stricter routine then the one we were on. I take heart in the fact that I'm involved in a Mother's Group and I'm the only one who Breastfed solely up to 6 months but am also the only one who has a baby who doesn't sleep through. I know the feeding isn't related to sleeping through but you have to look at the positives when you are up with a crying baby at 3am.
-
Good news!!
My DS has 2 nigths in a row, with only 1 wake up!! and his giving up his paci too.....How????? I think he was expressing his frustration about my travel by waking up, it was his way of being sure that I´m there with him....My DH and i, were with him totally devoted to play, feed, bath and sing with Rodri this last weekend, and seeing us with him 24 hours helped a lot!!!! he is very, very happy, kissing and hugging and he started to call his daddy`s name....and the best thing is that he is sleeping long naps, sleeping by his own at 7:00 p.m., and awakening just one time at 3:00 a.m.....tonight I will wake him at 2:00 a.m.....the wake to sleep technique.....
He is also, starting to use one diaper cloth to soothe himself....but the main thing is I was very consistent with his bedtime, his DF and the PU-PD routine.......one week of hard work that worths! ;D Hope it keeps that way, and don´t have any horrible regression, like he use to....... :-\
-
CosiQ: I'm so happy to hear things are looking up for you and that all your hard work is paying off :) keep us posted
-
CosiQ - did you do PU/PD at night? Does your LO stand up yet in the crib? I think we have to do this, but PU/PD doesn't really work for us and she wrenches her back and pulls herself up the moment I put her down. Yet, I think I need to be consistenct with some soothing technique as BF isn't really helping the situation...any suggestions would be great. thanks!
-
My lo stands in the crib and cries, when i go in and try and put her down she hangs on for dear life to the side of the crib!
Tonight I have decided to start PD and be consistent! I have to do something and not give in!
Tracey says "it is always darkest before dawn" so I have to keep that in mind at 3 am when I know I will want to resort to "accidental parenting"!!
Just one question so I am sure befire I start, when they cry and stand up you put them down and you continue to do this until they run out of steam and lay down right? Do I stay until she falls asleep or only until she stops crying?
Thanks!
Wish me luck, I will keep everyone posted!!
-
I got a good laugh picturing your LO hanging on to the side of her crib for dear life...my DS does the same. In her book, Tracy talks about scooping them up behind the knees and putting them down so that they are not facing you! Repeat until LO is down for the count...at least I do , or else it is back in to start all over again! Good luck!
Dawn
-
I did the PD for an hour last night and I would hold my hand on her belly and her head. Not forcefully, but just so she knew I was there. One she was okay, I would leave. 15 minutes later she was up. But it took less and less time as the night went on. She woke at 1:30 and i fed her, but I think tonight DH is going to take that shift. After I fed her at 1:30, she woke at 5 ready to play. I tried to feed her then but she just wasn't interested. Makes me think she can go all night. We'll see. I can't wait to hear all your reports.
-
One thing Tracy suggests in her books, is that once you think they are alseep..stay for 20 minutes more...that way they can get into a deedp sleep and not wake up when thet jerk or move.
-
?: so, will pat/sh ever result in not waking up at all? Or will I be Pat/sh-ing for years to come? I just don't see how my going in there and helping her back to sleep will ever break the waking habit....? Unfortunately, we tried CIO a month ago, and I really can't take that road again.
-
PU/PD, Pat/Shhh, and W2S are all excelent tools to teach your LO how to sleep on their own while not braking the bond you have formed with them. While they are time consuming they do work, they take a lot of patience and persistence but the results are worth it.
Try to remember that some babies don't sleep through the night untill 2-3 years, and the average is actually 6-8 months. Its hard and it makes life a blur at times but it does pass, but the more you can do to help your LO's the better they'll be in the long run.
-
often what I question, is whether or not she needs to eat at night. I feel guilt at times if I don't feed her, but I know that there are alot of babies that go all night without eating. Does anyone have this guilt? I feel like if I can eliminate the night feedings, she will sleep. She knows how to fall asleep on her own, she does it all the time. She doesn't even want me to hold her anymore before a nap. :'( She arches her back and lays down and falls asleep. This is what makes me think that nursing is what's making it worse. I don't know???
-
I think thats a common guilt :) I too felt it at times. Just know your doing the right thing :) Your LO is fine without a feed at night. She's happy healthy and your a great mommy to her. :) What more could she ask for?
Its entirly possibly the nursing is making it worse. I say this not because I don't think you should nurse. I envy you that you can, but at night I don't think you need to. What she gets during the day is enough, and if its not and you stop feeding at night she wont starve, she'll take more in during the day to make up for it.
-
thanks for the encouragment, I needed that. I know you are right. :)
-
I still nurse at night too and that is one of the things I am definitely trying to stop. When I was at the doctor's on Monday for her 9 month check up he told me that at this age metaoblicly they do not need to eat at night, its a true habit. I also felt guilty that she would go hungry but all the experts say they should be okay at this age.
I was planning on starting our "sleep training" last night but caved because I was so tired and resorted to nursing her back to sleep...
Tonight is the night! I have to start somehwere and I just want to make sure I have enough fuel to get me through without caving!
I wish there was a magic sleep wand I could use ;)
-
I still nurse at night too and that is one of the things I am definitely trying to stop. When I was at the doctor's on Monday for her 9 month check up he told me that at this age metaoblicly they do not need to eat at night, its a true habit. I also felt guilty that she would go hungry but all the experts say they should be okay at this age.
I was planning on starting our "sleep training" last night but caved because I was so tired and resorted to nursing her back to sleep...
Tonight is the night! I have to start somehwere and I just want to make sure I have enough fuel to get me through without caving!
I wish there was a magic sleep wand I could use ;)
Good for you for wanting to make this change. Do you have anyone who can come in for a few night? of maybe your DP could help?
when your bfing it can be particularly hard to brake that habbit because your LO can smell your milk. If you have backup, or even someone to take over for just a few nights it may help you.
Whatever happends be stong and don't give up. :)
-
Sienna - just wanted to encourage you that we started two nights ago with not feeding. The first night she was up at 10 and then up at 3 and 5. I fed her at the 3 and 5. So last night I had DH handle the 2 a.m. wake up and he was able to put her back to sleep and she slept until 5:30 when I gave her a half feed. So she went from 7 a.m. to 5:30 a.m. without eating :o She has never done this. So we will just continue and once she can sleep solid until 5 without wake ups, then we will work on eliminating that one. Once you make the decision, you have to stick with it and this is the hardest part. But I totally agree with karita, you need to have someone else do it when you are most tired. I would have caved last night. Good luck, can't wait to hear how it's going
-
Siennna- have you try using water as your accomplice? That's how we stopped. I would feed him less and less from the breast and top up with water in a bottle. The first night i would do only one breast and the offer water. the next night, one breast minus one minute and then offer the water, the next night one breast minus 3 mins and then offer water etc. Just an idea for you.
-
My lo has such a night waking problem... and I remember reading/hearing somewhere that putting them to bed almost ridiculously early could help begin to fix the problem. But, if I put her down early, she'll take it as a nap, and I'll have to pat/sh for hours! LOL. Is that ok? I mean, would that work? But then it seems almost ridiculous to expect her to have 14 hours of night rest (although, she wouldn't really get that, what with all the night wakings). Is this a temporary solution to the problem....? And when would I put her down since her last nap ends at 6:15/6:30-ish? Would I put her down at 7, or would I pat/sh the last nap all the way until 8?
-
As stated to you before, earlier is better. LO's need to go down earlier. The later you keep them up the crankier and worse they will be with wakings. If your LO is getting grumpy by 7 put her down for bed by 6:45. TRY IT. It does work, she wont mistake it for a nap. You can't expect her to go 14 hours at once no, but you can start your day at 7am and it will she may wake once to start, eventually she'll sleep through. balence out. Obviously putting her down at 8 isn't working so put her to bed at 7 BEFORE she's overtired, and you'll be suprised by the results.
-
totally agree with karita here..i have soo many ppl in my family telling me to keep dd up til 10 or 11pm so that she will sleep better...ha - they see how well she does now - so why am i gonna throw it all off with some absurd suggestion like that??! these are the same ppl that i remember saying 'he/she wakes up all night long..why won't he/she sleep past 4am...' etc - all through my teenage yrs. anyway, point is that lo's need to go to sleep earlier as once they are overtired it just gets sooo much harder for everyone...
-
Thanks for all the advice & encouragement!
I am going to try giving her water when she wakes up, thats a really good idea because I don't want to completely change things on her at night or it will take me twice the time to get her back to sleep!!
kat1jk- when your lo wakes up in the night and you don't feed her, what method are you using? Does she stand in her crib and you have to keep putting her down?
Last night when she woke, i fed her but took her off the breast much sooner then usual (trying to lessen the feeds) but I think tonight i will add a little water like you suggested and hopefully she will be less interested in getting up.
-
Shimmer- I think the main point the mods are making is... if it isn't working then change it! Your bedtime is not working so try an earlier one. With that being said, we had terrible nightwakings and now they have gotten a little better (still have one or two- had six or seven). I just kept trying different things and the one for us was less daytime sleep (as I belive Karita suggested to us?) Also, knowing the difference between a "cry" and a "fussy-settling-cry" helped a lot. Once I kept in mind "DS is OK. DS is OK. DS is fine. It only sounds like he's unhappy but he needs this skill and I'm not letting him learn it by going in every second."
Be consistent with your choice for a few days and if you see no improvement try the next thing! Don't give up!
-
How do you limit daytime sleep & still stay on a decent schedule?
She used to take 5 30 min. naps but was always cranky. Now she averages 3 naps, 2 that I extend to 1 1/2 -2 hours (they are not consolidated naps, so it's more like 2 45 min. naps right next to eac other). Could this cause night wakings...? I thought that sleep begets sleep...???
-
What do you mean by not consolidated naps?
Yes sleep begets sleep, but if your LO is up late enough at night to be overtired then its all going to fall apart.
If your LO needs AEASY instead of EASY then do that. We do and have since she was bout 5.5 months old.
-
Sienna's mum..we are using PU/PD sort of. I tried the reducing minutes of BF and that didn't seem to work, so I made the decision this week that she no longer needs to eat in the middle of the night. I was worried about milk supply, but she has adjusted her calories accordingly and is now nursing longer during this day..this is good! So I have learned over the past couple of days that half the battle of dealing with night wakings is what you tell yourself. If you are tired, you have to get the mental capacity up to say, this will only be fore a short time and I will eventually sleep at night if I work on this now. I go into her room, pick her up and cuddle. I knew she wasn't hungry when I did this because she would settle down and nuzzle into me. If she was hungry she would go insane at the smell. Once she was calm I put her back down. Sometimes she would pop up, but I would lay her back down and continue to do this until she calmed. Then when she woke at 2, DH would take her and use his special way of getting her down. Similar, but his own version.
We started this 3 nights ago and last night she totally skipped the 11 o'clock wake up and slept from 7-2 a.m. :o I couldn't believe it and it made it feel like things were working. So we will continue to work on it until it finally falls into place.
good luck
-
It's funny everynight I play this little game with my husband, it's called maybe tonight will be the night she sleeps through...I lose everynight.LOL. I thought that there must be something wrong with my parenting skills because everyone including the nurse at my health clinic says my dd who is 5months should be sleeping through the night. After reading all these post it's nice to see I'm not alone.
The last week has been a major turning point as she only wakes once to eat and then right back to sleep. So I know one night will be the night she sleeps through, maybe tonight...
KH
-
Hi there Tatumsmom:
Just popped in a moment to let you know that Hunter didn't really start sleeping through until just recently ... after he turned a year to be honest. I tried supplimental feeding at night with formula, cereal at doctor's suggestion and NOTHING! Don't feel bad, your dd will sleep eventually.
HTH
-
Tatumsmom Deffinitly not alone :) Some babies sleep through the night early, some not untill later. I'm sorry you felt like you were a bad parent, but take heart, you are not :)
-
TatumsMum- LOL- We play that game too! I don't know where all the hope comes from when I continuously get shot down every morning. I just think I am very very stubborn and I'm not going to let "it" win! I wake up and think "bring on the night again- this time it will be different because I'm going to ___fill in the blank___" I just keep going back for more.
When I was a kid and Super Mario Bros came out I stayed up all night for three days to finish it and you bet that I did! I haven't changed much only now I'm battling "sleep" instead of Bowser.
-
Tatum's Mum...Sounds like lots of us are playing the same game! ;D Every day we thank God for the fact that he....ONLY got up once during the night, or slept 10 minutes longer this morning....My nother keeps reminding me that in about 15 years I won't be able to get my DS to wake up! :o I can't wait to play that game! Keep the faith!
Dawn
-
I am also playing that game... Everynight i say to my DH say a little prayer for me that she won't wake up!
...and every night- WAAAAH!!
sigh :-\
Kat1jk - You are right when you say " If you are tired, you have to get the mental capacity up to say, this will only be fore a short time and I will eventually sleep at night if I work on this now."
Its true,You really have to get your head in the right space before you can attempt doing anything!
I realized I am losing sleep anyway so why not try to tackle the issues at the same time..
Does anyone ever wonder why nobody mentions sleep issues when you are pregnant! They teach you how to bath a baby, change the diaper etc.. but nobody says anything about sleep!! THey should have a baby class that address the REAL issues! ::)
-
do you guys have mantra's or something that help you through the rough days?
Mine was;
"She has to sleep eventually, she has to sleep eventually.."
Sometimes it was all that was keeping me sane.
-
Hi,
I just seen this thread,
I just posted, yet again, another post about ds sleeping.
I just don't understand.
I am so tired of trying new things and I am sure ds is tired of that as well.
I was just reading about someone saying how they were tired of people saying things like:
-maybe hes going to bed to early
-maybe not eating enough
- your letting him have to much sleep in the day>fine you deal with him when he is cranky cause I won't let him have his nap
-let him cry it out, your spoiling him>spoiling him??how do you spoil him at this age? Ovisiouly he needs something or he wouldn't be crying, its his only way to comunicate with me.
Needed a quick vent session there.
Feel a bit better.
-
colenliam - I understand. It's so incredibly frustrating. At least here, we've all heard it and are sympathetic to your stage with baby.
I need a mantra. Last night she was up from 2:30 - 4:20 :( Fortunately I went to bed at 9 p.m. which gave me 5 1/2 hours of sleep. I thought I was a new woman. Never thought I could be refreshed at 2:30 in the morning. But hey, it gave me the stamina to go the distance. Another feedless night until 6 a.m. But when she woke this time, she was awake. That has never happened to me. Now I know how mom's feel with babies who play in the middle of the night. I think she actually got sleep like me too. I felt her pain.
A friend told me that when you are ready to deal with the night wakings and put forth the best effort, that's when you will have the strength. You just come to a place where you say, this is IT! A breaking point if you will. Mine was this week. Once you have one night under your belt, it gives you that small glimmer of hope that this might just be a solvable problem.
good luck tired mommies.
-
I agree about "them" keeping us in the dark about how hard it is for babies to sleep. I've seen the sitcoms where the mom is stressed because she has to let the baby cry it out; I've seen the commercials where the baby has just fallen asleep when something wakes him and the mom is freaked, but it's all supposed to be funny, and I had no idea what I was in for. Why did I read all those books about pregnancy when I really needed to be studying up on teaching babies how to fall asleep on their own!?
I just try to tell myself that I am making an investment. If I don't want to be up all night for the next 2 yrs, I've got to stick with it.
My advice: are you all doing a df? Once I added a df, I knew my lo could make it through 8 hrs without a feed. So I stopped feeding and used pupd. Then I used w2s to eliminate habitual wakings. It worked! He may wake once or twice and cry out, but he falls back to sleep quickly and on his own. You can do it! Congratulations on all the success so far!
-
Dreamfeeds work really well for a lot of LO's, but after about 6 months or so if you havn't had one I'm not sure how much help introducing it at that point would be. My LO actually had one from 3 weeks-5.5 month, when I had to drop it as it actually started waking her in the middle of the night for a diaper change as she'd be soaked. For most the recomended time to stop would be about 7-8 months.
-
Okay, newbie here!
I have a 7 1/2 month old that is still waking up at nite. She is a bit on the small side (only 20th percentile in weight, 80th in height), but her doctor isn't concerned. She still wakes at least once a nite for a bottle. We have been giving her a bottle simply because it's easier than MAKING her sleep. But, she is very inconsistent. One nite she will sleep only a couple of hours at a time and be up 3-4 times, and others she sleeps from 8:30 or 9 until 8:00 the next morning. It's never the same.
I know the bottle is just a habit by now, but I don't know what to do! My hubby really does NOT want to let her cry it out, but I am so tired and so stressed (and I have PPD), that I really can't take it anymore. I figure just letting her cry will be hard for a few days, but then over with.
I guess I just don't know what to do. I've read every book and talked to every person I know. Everyone says I have spoiled her, hold her WAY too much and should just let her cry. But it seems kind of mean. Dol I just skip the feed and let her cry? She sleeps okay during naps, usually 1-2 hours twice a day. Bed time is 9:00. Maybe put her to bed earlier?
I would pay ANY amount of money to have someone come get her through this so we can sleep! I'm SOOOOOOO stressed! And, I don't know if I am holding her too much during the day either. She is SOOOOOOO fussy (had colic, then teething, etc.) and is just NEVER happy. I put her in the bouncy or in the exersaucer and five minutes later she's whining. The only thing that helps is if I hold her, but everyone says I hold her TOO MUCH. Should I just let her fuss? When do I give in? When do I get tough? WHEN DOES THIS GET EASIER?????
I just feel bad because I really HATE the experience of being a mom so far.
Thanks for listening... and thanks for the place to get and give support!
-
Fisrt I understand your frustration and your pain. I too have PPD and it can reak havick on everything.
Please listen to your DH, don't let your LO CIO. We don't advocate it here. Tracy's perpose was to teach us to listen to our babies so we know what they need. CIO violates the trust and the bond that you have formed with your LO. You are not spoiling her, you can't spoil a baby.
That said there's a difference between fussing and crying. If yout LO is only fussing then yes you can leave her for a few minutes. But as soon as she cries go to her.
There are other ways to teach your LO to sleep independently. I would highly recomend an earlier bedtime of 7pm, don't leave her CIO try PU/PD or pat/shh to settle her.
Don't give up it does get better. I hated being a mom for a while too. But with the help and support of the people here and in my life I made it through, I still fight PPD at times but its a lot better. Part of what your dealing with is exhostion. Take a step back and do something for you and only you. You'll be suprised how much better that can make you feel. You can't take care of your LO if you don't take care of you.
-
Thanks Karita! I have read Tracy's book (Secrets of the Baby Whisperer) and I did like her methods. I am also not fond of just letting her cry... it makes me feel like she is being scarred emotionally! But, I also don't want to do her a disservice by not giving her the right tools. I do NOT want to still be doing this (up all night) when she is two years old!
Anyway, here is a sort of rundown of info:
How old is your child? 7 1/2 months
What’s his/her daily routine? 3 hours EASY routine
What’s nap routine? 2 naps a day (usually around 10 or 11am and 3 or 4pm)
How long are naps? An hour to 2 hours (sometimes only 30 mins)
What's bedtime routine? Time? Give her a bottle around 8:30 pm, play for half and hour and to bed at 9. She goes to bed VERY easily - has no problem falling asleep, but wakes 1-2 times a nite.
Do you bottle or breastfed?? Bottle feed
How much? or how long? 6 oz. every 3 hours
If breastfed.. one side or both?? Has always been bottle fed.
How many wakes per night? At least 2
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up? She usually just sort of fusses, but if I don't go in, she goes into full blown screaming. I've tried comforting and patting (after giving binkie), but she just keeps crying; cannot be consoled. Only goes back to sleep if you feed her.
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry? Fussing at first, then crying. Don't remember what a mantra cry is!
What have you tried to settle?? I do the "shhhh-pat", but she doesn't stop crying, keeps whining. Sometimes I pick her up and try to rock her back to sleep. Sometimes this works, but only for maybe 30 mins, then she's up again and wants to eat.
What do you do for A time and how long is it? She jumps in her jumperoo, or in her exersaucer, or we play on the floor. I also run errands with her, take a walk, or do an activity with a local mom's group.
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones? Teething, not sitting up alone yet. She was VERY VERY VERY colicky and has always been a difficult, challenging baby. She gets bored very quickly and loves being around people. Sometimes I think she's just bored with me!
Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months). She eats solid foods twice a day (late morning and late afternoon/early evening). About 1/2 a jar fruits or veggies, etc. (Gerber food). No finger food yet.
Do they have a prop? If so what is it? Yes, a binkie. She likes to chew on it mostly. Not really needed during the day, but she has to have it at night.
Do they have a lovie? A lovie??? Like a blanket or something they have to sleep with? No, just a binkie.
Hope this helps! She's up around 6-7am (sometimes she goes back to sleep after being fed and will sleep until 8-8:30). We play after she eats for about an hour and a half and then I put her down for a nap (hopefully at least an hour). Then up and eat (if it's been 3 hours), then try to run errands or play, whatever. Then eat again after 3 hours, nap around 3-4 pm. Play until daddy comes home, then eat, play and always a bottle at 8:30, bed at 9. Our nighttime routine is just to take her in and change her diaper, put her in her sleep sack, turn on soft music, turn off the lights, and rock her for just a minute or two. I ALWAYS put her to bed sleepy, but not asleep.
I like the post on diluting her nighttime bottle with some water, putting more and more water in it over a week or so. Do you think that will help? And what do you think about picking her up during the day. My mom says I pick her up too much and she's always whiny because of that. Should I just let her fuss? Today I've been trying to just sit near her, but not pick her up, and keep her busy. It works okay, but she fusses the entire time she's playing. She's ALWAYS fussy!!! ARRGH!
Thanks so much! Sorry I have so many questions and things to say! I was SOOOOOOOOO sad to hear Tracy had died (I had NO idea). I was hoping to call her up and tell her I'd do ANYTHING to have her come to our home. At least I know she is still "here" through her great books, etc. And with people like you that keep her spirit alive!
-
ktkat: That's a very thorough post!
1. General advice: The first thing I would suggest is getting her on a 4 hr EASY. I think Tracy rec's starting a 4 hr at around 4 mos, so she should be able to last that long. Shoot for 8 ozs each feed. Next, I think you should try putting her to bed between 7-8p. Then, as much as I hate to get up in the morning, if I get my 6 mo lo up at the same time every day, his night sleep is more consistent.
2. She might actually be hungry at night because she is only on a 3 hr EASY, so she doesn't have to go long between meals during the day. However, if you put her on a 4 hr EASY (make the shift over the course of a few days or a week), that will help.
3. Wake to sleep (w2s) is the easiest wake to eliminate nws. For three nights, set your alarm for an hour before her first usual wake. Go in quietly, stroke her cheek until she stirs slightly. Leave. She may still wake the first night or two. If so, use pupd. I too thought my lo couldn't settle at a nw without a bottle, but the first night I committed to no feeds (besides the df since he was only 4.5 mos at the time), he settled within 40 mins using pupd. At the second wake that night, it took 20 mins. It got easier after that, plus I used w2s and now, if he wakes, he goes back to sleep alone after a little mantraing.
4. Watering down the bottle might work for nws. I don't have experience with that. It might be an easier transition if you are not comfortable with pupd.
5. Pupd and w2s can also be used to extend naps. Check Tracy's sleep rec's for a 7.5 mo old lo.
A lovey would be a nice addition at this stage so she has something to help her self-soothe at night. I would choose a stuffed animal that you like. Bring it to cuddle before each nap and at bedtime. Leave it with her to sleep. She will get attached if you keep bringing to her.
I'm sorry she's fussy ALL the time! I don't know much about that either, although I have heard it is possible to spoil a child over 6 mos. My lo is not a very independent player. I still can walk away, for a few minutes, though. Depends on how tired he is. Good luck!
-
Thanks for the ideas! I am going to try a 4 hour EASY schedule along with watering down the night feeding mix. Shhh/pat has worked pretty well, but I'm not sure about PU/PD. She doesn't stand in the crib yet, so does that mean I pick her up from the bed and soothe her, then put her down?
I just don't want to resort to letting her cry! It sounds like that works, but it seems just too mean to me (and my hubby)! I don't want her to think I am not always there for her.
What about picking her up during the day? Whenever she fusses should I just let her fuss and not pick her up, but go over and entertain her? I don't want to have to hold her all the time! She is just about to sit up on her own, but can't quite do it yet. Will this bit of development help her be independent?
Thanks so much!
-
Good luck with the routine :)
Yes PU/PD you would pick her up, comfort her and put her back down.
For the fussyness, depends if its just a fuss ir a cry thing. I'd say check her bum, make sure she's eaten, and if those are fine give he a minute to settle or introduce a new toy. If it turns into a cry then pick her up right away. Distracton is a great tool to help LO's to stop fussing :) they'll forget what upset them when they have something new to focus on.
-
HELP........
The night wakings are getting bad again. Last week things started to improve to just one waking a night between 4-5 am. I wold feed her and she would go right back to sleep. The last few nights she is waking every 2-3 hours and is really hard to settle, last night it took an hour and a half to get her back to sleep and then she was up again in 45mins. I tried feeding, rocking, pu/pd, changed her diaper and still unsettled. Sometimes I know it is hunger. I can't seem to get her to eat more then 4 oz at a feeding . She is 5 months and I have her on three hour easy, I tried her on four hour easy but still would only take 4oz at a time I switched back to three hours in hopes of getting more in her through out the day. She weighs about 15 pounds and seems happy and has wet diapers. It's just everything I read says she should eat 2.5 oz per pound every 24 hours. That is not even close to what she eats she is feed at 7,10,1,4,7 and df at 10:30. total of 24 oz during the day. No wonder she is up at night she probably is hungry. I've tried everything to get her to eat more during the day ??? Should I take her to the doctor ? All I know is if I don't get sleep soon I think I might sell her!! LOL ;D.
KH
-
Actually sounds like it might be teething or a growth spurt, or both. She's at the right age for it.
I suggest you try a 3.5 hour EASY and then move to the 4 hour. She may be more ready now then she was when you last tried.
-
ktkat: Pupd works even if she isn't standing yet. The key is to wait until she is really crying, pick her up, hold her in a cradle position, and put her down as soon as she a) stops crying, or b) struggles against you, thrusts her head back, tries to hit you, or burrows into you, EVEN IF she is still crying. If she is still crying or starts crying as you put her down, put her down all the way, remove your hands, and pick her up again. Repeat until she falls asleep from exhaustion. Pupd does not prevent the crying, but you are there the whole time trying to comfort.
During the day, I think trying to distract her or change activities is a good idea. Do whatever you can to keep from picking her up, most of the time. I would also try soliciting advice on that from BW moms with toddlers since they've likely been through it. Is there a birth club for your lo that you could join? Those are great too.
tatumsmom: I had similar problems with my lo. She is probably distracted during day feeds. Does she eat better at night when it is dark and quiet? Try a dark, quiet room for day feeds. Also, try to give it a little time. She probably has a small stomach and cannot take more than 4 oz at first, but once it stretches a little, she will be able to take more. My 6 mo old lo is on a 4 hr EASY, and he hardly ever takes the 8 oz Tracy suggests, but he is huge for his age. Do you df? I would if you can, because then you are adding a feed at the right time for her routine without feeding at night and reinforcing a nw. That should make you feel better about how much she is taking in.
-
I wanted to check something out here. You guys have all had issues with sleeping and maybe others as well.
Out of curiosity, how many of you have done the "know your baby quiz?"
is your LO
Spirited, touchy, grumpy, textbook, or Angel??
-
karita - I have textbook/angel. I wanted to thank you for giving me the extra push to trust that eloise was okay with not eating at night. We have been working on night wakings for two weeks now and she is down to no feeds and only one wake up at 2 a.m. :) She's only awake for about 10 minutes. This is down from an hour. But it feels good to come farther than ever before.
ktkat - we let eloise cry around 6 months. She screamed for 20 minutes and fell asleep. Then woke up an hour and a half later. Everyone always told me that once they cry they will sleep through until morning. So not true. So then we decided to work our version of PU/PD. She started falling asleep quicker and it takes alot less crying and alot less time. We only go to her when she is a full on cry. Usually it's because she has fallen down from standing up.
tatusmum - eloise was 15 lbs at 6 months (40th weight over 100th for height) Once I stopped feeding her at night, she adjusted her day calories accordingly. It took a couple days but she is eating way more now. Eloise would also eat better at night because it was quiet. She was very distracted during the day. She also doesn't take in the alloted amount, it's defintely less.
hope that helps.
-
Kat1jk; I'm so glade to see things are getting better for you :) Also glade I could help. Keep us posted ok.
After putting my last post up I figured I should say what my DD is too :P
When we did the test at 2 month old she was a Spirited/angel. More Spirited then Angel.
We redid the test at 7 months and now my DD is Angel/Spirited. I think the change is because of all the work I put into helping her sleep. That was where most of her spiritedness really showed. Most days she's Angel now, but her spiritedness still shows up, and when it does, it hits hard ;)
-
Wow it's nice to know I'm not alone. My lo was getting up 2-3 times a night until 4 3 1/2 weeks ago. He was going 6 1/2 hr stretchs and then one night he started waking at 10:30. I thought he was going thru a growth spurt so I fed him. It happened again the next night and the next. So, I tried to settle him w/o feeding. He went right back to sleep. Since then he has started waking 11, 12, 2, 3, 4, 5 , 5:30-5:45, 6, 6;45 for the day. I am going out of my mind and have started to slip with some accidental parenting. Things are complicated b/c he has reflux that I think is not entirely under control, constipation from the rice cereal and he is a terrible napper. So, it is a vicious cycle that feeds itself. I am really at a loss as to what to do but I don't know how much longer I can function. Help!
-
me again .....
I'm really confused about something and feel very dumb asking this but here goes. When my dd wakes at night how do I tell if it's hunger?? ??? She has a really good day routine but like I mentioned in my last post is not a good eater. Last night she woke at 1,3,4,5:30am and then was up at 7 for the start of our day. I was able to settle her at 1 and 4 without feeding but she wouldn't go down at 3 and 5:30 without eating. She is five months and we are moving towards 3.5 hour easy as suggested. Do I just not feed her at night no matter what?? I did do this one night when we first started on easy but it was awful and I was up all night with her. I'm very confused I know she can go longer without eating but because she does not eat much during the day I worry that she is hungry at night and I would hate to make her suffer. :(. thanks for listening
KH
-
tatumsmom - I would start with a goal for the night. For me, I picked that I would feed her at 10/11 (when she first got up) and then if I knew she could go 3.5 hours during the day, I figured she could go 4 at night. So then the next one would be 3 a.m. Then I would work on getting her until morning without feeding. If I managed to get to two feedings than it gave me a small boost of confidence. I did also read that up until 9 months, some babies need the extra night feedings and it's okay. This was from a book that advocated CIO. I don't advocate that, but it' just an example. Can DH help with the wakings in between? If not, decided what you are going to do during this time to get her back to sleep.
The way I can always tell if eloise is hungry is if when I hold her against me to settle her she starts to root around. If she falls back asleep, she just needed me there and I don't feed her. Do you BF? If not, I don't know what the hunger signs are for bottle fed babes.
take alot of naps during the days when you intend to work on the night. this way you know that YOU are getting sleep somewhere. good luck
-
Hi Christy P,
I know just what you are going through. I have made a couple of attempts at getting my 10 month-old to fall asleep on his own and get through the night without me. He too has reflux which acts up at night and I have been battling constipation for ages. I only seem to be able to control it by giving him mostly fruits and veg, no meat and tiny bits of grains. It really does complicate the sleep though. I am at my wits end as well as dh can't settle lo (he just gets really upset - a little sep anxiety as well I think) so it is just me all night long. I know we will have to get tough on him and let him cry and learn to settle himself (I could never do CIO). I have tried to sleep train him twice but lost my nerve partly because he was crying so hard, but also because there are many times that I know he is up because he is uncomfortable, and that would cause problems with inconsistency - I would have to pick him up when his tummy was bothering him. I know that right now he is waking sometimes because of discomfort, sometimes from habit, but it is so hard to know what is what. Right now I am focussing on trying to get his tummy issues under control and am having him tested for food sensitivities. I think it is only once we have that under control that I can get Aiden's sleep sorted out. I wonder if anyone with lo's with digestive issues have some tips?
-
aidenmc- i hear you. My dh wants to let him cry but until I know if he is waking up b/c he is in pain I really can't do that. Almost deperate enough to try though. He cries pretty hard when I do pu/pd but we have had some success with using it to teach him to fall asleep. Have you seen the reflux message boards? There is alot of information in there and great support too. It's really hard. Good luck!
-
Sometimes it feels so good to know you're not alone. My dd will be a year old next week and since birth only a handful of times she slept through the night. I would say she has slept through the one at least one time per month since 6 months old.
The last few nights she's been waking up screaming. Whenever we try to put her to bed she wakes up screaming again. We've done everything we can think of.
--I've made sure she's eaten enough before bedtime
--I put her down to bed around 7:30-8pm.
--I put her down to bed awake. Although I have to stay in the room until she falls asleep.
--When she wakes in the middle of the night I do the above and try not to pick her up. Usually it ends up me or DH doing so but once she falls asleep and is put back in the crib she wakes up crying again.
--When things were bad DH would put her in the bed until she fell asleep (while he was awake).
Nothing seems to work. Now picking her up and holding her until she falls asleep doesn't work anymore. Also putting her in the bed doesn't work either. She doesn't settle down and is constantly moving or twitching.
I don't know if it's separation anxiety or teething and I don't think it's illness.
-
I have a happy to report...we've gone three nights without any night wakings ;D I know everyone says to put LOs to sleep earlier, but after months of playing with that...just on a hunch...we tried 8:00...and he slept all the way through until 6. OK, so I did do something BAD , but it is working...when he wakes up at 6, you can tell he is still tired, so rather than fight with him, and screw up the whole day, I have been crawling in his crib with him, or taking him to bed with me! I know what you are saying..I can hear it now...but it works! He is right back to sleep until 7 or so! I'll work on that next week after we've had a few good nights of sleep! Good luck to all! I am sending sleep vibes to all of your LOs! ;)
-
HI,
Things arn't getting any better for us, although, yet another cold has hit us. How lo gets a cold in this heat is beyond me?? Its been 40 degrees here the past couple days :P
Ds is Spiritied by the way.
-
I have a happy to report...we've gone three nights without any night wakings ;D I know everyone says to put LOs to sleep earlier, but after months of playing with that...just on a hunch...we tried 8:00...and he slept all the way through until 6. OK, so I did do something BAD , but it is working...when he wakes up at 6, you can tell he is still tired, so rather than fight with him, and screw up the whole day, I have been crawling in his crib with him, or taking him to bed with me! I know what you are saying..I can hear it now...but it works! He is right back to sleep until 7 or so! I'll work on that next week after we've had a few good nights of sleep! Good luck to all! I am sending sleep vibes to all of your LOs! ;)
:) if it works then its not BAD. Its only bad if it doesn't work.
I'm glade you found your LO's magic bedtime.
-
So I decided last night would be my first night with PD for my 9 month old who wakes up ALOT at night....
When she woke up at her usual 10pm i fed her (just in case) and then she woke up again at 11:30pm and I did PD for an hour and a half!! but she finally went to sleep...
We did this a few times last night and I am exhausted!!
I can not believe the determination my lo has!! She is so tired and yet she will constantly get back up! I put her down and she stands right back up- its actauly unbelievable to watch!
What gave me the strength to finally start (and be determined to be consistent this time) is that nothing seems to work to settle her anymore! not picking her up, not feeding, nothing. Which made me realize I have to do something so she can settle herself, i can't rescue her anymore...
Sigh... ::)
I hope tonight is a little better - this is hard work!!
I hope it pays off if I am consistent :-\
nice to have a place to go to talk about this...
-
What is it about 9 month olds?? As I read through the posts, so many of them are having sleep issues ??? Shouldn't they be crawling into bed, and sleeping well ALL night now that they are so active during the day, solids are well established and routines are in place. Don't they know that's just how it is supposed to work :P
-
Just wanted to post that I have moved ds bedtime to 8pm, in doing that I had topush all his naps up a bit, but last night was NIGHT #3 of sleeping from 8pm till 6-6:30am. Thank God. ;D
Hopefullly I didn't just jinx myself :-\
-
Okay, I have two questions... I know this should go in the thread about "How I got my 9 month old to sleep", but it won't let me post there!
Anyway, this is regarding the feeding schedule of reducing the formula to water ratio slowly over about 10 days. I just wondered if you feed them the watered-down formula EVERY time they wake in the night, or just the first time, or what?
Also, I tried this and it worked after only a couple of nights, but then she started waking in the night again. Do I have to start ALL over with the watered-down formula, or start back where I was, or what?
Thanks!!
-
ktkat - I don't have too much advice, but I think you should just feed them the watered down formula at the normal feeding times. If they wake outside of that help them to get back to sleep. I wouldn't start all over but a modified version of where you were at. This is probably not helping, but I can't think of much else.
Just wanted to report that Eloise had her first night of 7:30 - 5 a.m. She has NEVER, EVER done this. Of course, I went to sleep late so i didn't benefit ::) But I did try something new that might help the rest of you. AFter nursing before bed, I decided to top her off with a bottle, just 2 or so oz. to make sure that she was good and full. This made me feel less guilty about not feeding the middle of the night. So I've been doing this for about 2 weeks now and it may be helping. Who knows, we'll see how tonight goes. Anyway, I feel like it's been a really long fight, but I figure if she's been waking up for 8 months than it's going to take a while to undo.
Good luck everyone, I know the nighttime battle is so hard. Once you get over that hump of one day and you get one success under your belt, it makes the next day easier. It also makes the days that you go backwards a little less painful to deal with. I really hope your LO's sleep soon. Sleep deprivation is horrible...it's made me extremely absent minded. I'm forgetting everything all the time and I can't concentrate on anyone's conversations....
-
I will keep this in mind in another couple of months if my LO still isn't sleeping through the night.
-
my ds is 4 months old, was sleeping a good 7 hour stretch at 9 weeks going to bed at about 10pm when he changed bedtime to 7.3o at 12 weeks all hell broke out and is up and down 2 to 3 times a night i know this coincided with a growth spurt. i am at a total loss as to what to try have gone back to work and he is in nursery, not coping their well seems to cry all the time yet when at home during the day is an angel.
i have stopped offering him milk after 11pm if he wakes only water if necessary using shush/pat at the moment as pu/pd wasn't helping after 8 nights.
i am overly desperate to get a baby that sleeps through as a baby and not a toddler as my 2 girls were both nearly 3 b4 they slept through the night.
ds is on 4 hourly feeds during the day and weighs almost 19lb already have put of weaning due to reflux.
any ideas would be great.
we should keep smiling :D as they obviously love us and thats why they want us in the night?
-
macsmum - it makes sense that he moved to 7:30 bedtime, that's when most babies want to fall asleep. Alot of babies still need to feed in the middle of the night up until 6 months. I'm wondering if you feed at 11 and then get at least to 4 a.m. or so and make that a consistent schedule for a while. Can DH take 11 feed? Will he take a bottle? I know this worked for us for a while. We just cut out all night feeds and she is finally sleeping....however, she's 8 1/2 months :o I had never had a stretch longer than 5 hours. Not much help, but at least if he's up, you could make it somewhat predictable. Other ladies may have better suggestions. sorry.
-
macsmum; I'd have to agree. When your LO wakes at about 3-4am feed him. AS stated many LO's need that feed up till 6 month. Give it a try with the feeding and I think you'll find your nights will get easier.
Also have you tried a dreamfeed? maybe try one 10:30-11pm. It may help.
-
the trouble is he went down last night at 7.30pm woke at 9.30 dh fed him he took full bottle but woke again at 12.30 up till 1.40am didn't try and feed him as i knew he couldn't be hungry did get him back down again but then he was up at 6am so today his routine was out due to being tired he still didn't eat till 7am so waking at 6am wasn't cos of hunger ::)
not really sure, i dint care if he wakes every night for the next 6 months at say 3am because that will be due to hunger but i dint want to end up feeding him out of habit like i did with the others.
i would love one tat sleeps all night though! but time will only tell
-
Put him down at 7 tonight. Sounds like he woke due to overtiredness. Try 7pm and see if it makes a difference
-
Just wanted to add, that I had struggled with my lo with sleeping though the night until last week(10months). I thought maybe he was over tired, so I was putting him to bed early all the time. All I did was keep his morning nap at the same time, anout 2 hours after he wakes, and pushed his afternoon nap up a bit, so he has about 4 hours wake time and put him in bed at 8pm sharp and volia, he is on his 7th night of sleeping though the night and is so much more happier. I also did bath time about an hour before bed instead of right before as he was getting excited in the tub, but still wanted it as part of our wind down time. Nt saying that it will work, but that is just what finally worked for us. It could either be over tiredness or not tired enough to sleep straight though.
Keep trying it'll come. I never thought it would.
HUGS
-
macsmum - I totally understand not wanting to create a habit. I would say that keep feeding twice a night or so and then once you hit about 8 or 9 months you will know for sure they don't need it and can work on pushing them through. Do you bottlefeed or BF? You may have already said, but what I have found helpful is to BF and then top off with 1 or 2 oz. or EBM or formula to make sure she's full. That might help with the 9:30 wake.
also, I know 4 months is young and cereal doesn't have as much calories as BM or formula, but you could maybe give the food a try if you feel comfortable. I don't know. I didn't start until 6 months and it helped such a small amount. Other's have found success though ???
good luck
-
Don't give cereal to your LO unless your doctor OK's it. It wont make your LO sleep longer, in fact it usually makes more problems then it solves. 4 months is to young for cereal at least try to wait untill 5.5 months if you can. Cereal can cause a lot of digestive problems when given to early and the gas is often very painfull and wakes them more often.
-
NO I DINT WANT TO START WITH SOLIDS YET I KNOW HE IS A BIG BOY BUT HE ISN'T READY FOR THAT YET, AND I DINT BELIEVE IT WILL HELP, LAST NIGHT WAS SLIGHTLY BETTER WAKING AT 12.30AM HAD 6OZ BOTTLE THEN HE WOKE AGAIN AT 5.20 BUT MANAGED TO GET HIM BACK TO SLEEP WITHIN A FEW MINUTES, I JUST TUCKED HIM BACK IN AND WENT BACK TO BED I DIDN'T HEAR A PEEP, BUT THEN I HAD TO WAKE HIM AT 7AM, SO I WILL TRY AND GET HIM DOWN FOR 7PM TONIGHT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS
-
Hey there,
Great idea! My six month old is still not sleeping through the night and I am not sure what to do. I am exhausted! It gives me hope that my now 2 year old was also not sleeping through the night when she was this age but is now a great sleeper. My husband and I cannot say "Night Night" in front of her unless it is actually bedtime or she'll have a tantrum. Hopefully, that gives others hope as well! She sleeps 12 hours a night and naps for 2 in the day.
Kendra
-
Hi all,
My dd is still waking twice at night to eat. She will be 6 months on June 12 and I can't wait to start solids. I know solids are not the answer to night waking but I hope it helps a little. I think she maxes out on the amount of liquid she can hold (which is not very much).
She was doing better for awhile but now back to the drawing board. When she was about three months she would go about 7 at night, but the bigger she got the more that time went down. She still eats the same amount at each feed which is only about 4 oz thats one reason I think solids might help. Any ideas, suggestions or stories of your own experiences would be great. We have tried rice cereal but not enough to make a difference, more to try out how she does with a spoon. She seems to enjoy!!
KH
-
silly question really r u botle feeding and if so what flow teat?
just thinking she may need a faster teat to help her get more down, how much does she weigh
-
Hi macsmum,
I am in the process of weaning from breast to formula. She weighs around 15 pounds and I'm using the medium flow nipple from Gerber,it's suppose to be similar to the Avant nipples. I've tried the fast flow but I seem to get more on her then in her mouth.lol !
KH ;D
-
sorry not much help am i? good luck ;)
-
solids never helped with ds and the sleeping for us but maybe.
Ds also only ate few ozs at a time and usually didn't make his daily requirements unless fed though the night. It will come. At 9.5 months is when he started eating alot better, now takes 3 8oz bottles per day.
-
a great topic to talk about...it is good to know that for some of us, the sleep pre-bub will never be again..to try the suggestions but then NOT blame yourself, your genes, you LO if they cannot sleep 'through'. I feel a failure at times for not letting her cry and learn to self-soothe; however, having a sick baby puts everything into perspective and you just want to be there for them as they struggle to breath and sleep..i will be watching this forum avidly!
-
Boy, am I glad I found this thread! DS will be 6 mo June 10 (6 mo IS the magic age, right!? Where they figure everything out....right!? ;D HA!)
He is bf, and still eats 2X a night (maybe habit?) and wakes a total of 4-7 or 8 times a night, plus that darn early 4 or 5 wake up thing, where he never actually resettles and I get him up at 6:30 (if we can hold off that long....sometimes 6:15 or 6:20 if he's really fitting)
Thanks for starting this! I'm interested in reading more!
-
OK I NEED HELP,
MY DS IS WAKING AT ROUGHLY 3.30AM EACH MORNING AND IS TAKING ABOUT 5OZ OF MILK(BOTTLE) BUT WHEN WAKING AT 7AM NOT HUNGRY INFACT HE ISN'T TAKING ANY MILK TILL NEARLY 9.30AM HE IS GOING 6 HOURS WHICH IS WHAT I WANT HIM TO DO DURING THE NIGHT ???
SO IT SEEMS TO ME I SHOULD STOP FEEDING AT NIGHT AND JUST STICK WITH A 10PM DF, ANY ADVICE :o
I HAVE POSTED YESTERDAY ON ANOTHER THREAD BUT NO TAKERS.
-
YAWN....First night on PU/PD. Wish me luck. He is 7mths old and last night I decided enough was enough. He woke up every hour...normally it's every two and I normally cave in and give him a booby. I have created a monster....but a very very cute one. PU/PD went well today. First nap consisted of 1hr of piercing screams punctuated by silence when I picked him up. I felt like he was a bit of a yo yo as the minute I picked him up he went silent and then started wailing on the way down. Perseverance paid off...I am in it for the long haul though....7months of no sleep...anything would be better. Mind you I will probably miss the nighttime cuddles and closeness. There's plenty of time for that during the day I guess. The next thing I need to do is get rid of the dummy!!!
I wonder if he will sleep through tonight...hahahaha fat chance!!
-
Hey, Sarah. :) What do you do each time Nathan wakes? That's so many wakes, poor thing (you and him)!
Macsmum: I would do wake to sleep at 230a to try to eliminate the 330 wake. Then maybe you won't have to worry about whether to feed or not. It worked well for my lo. In fact, he has slept through each night since! Just go in quietly at 230, stroke his cheek until he moves slightly (BUT DOES NOT WAKE FULLY), and get the heck out of there! Do it for at least three nights. I know it's hard to want to set your alarm and get up when there is a chance that he won't get up (or will still get up), but it will pay off, I promise.
-
Hi Macmum
I have no advice just wanted you to know that I think the wake to sleep thing sounds good. I have tried everything but that, so if your game I'm game!! ;D Good luck I'll be thinking of you as I tiptoe in to my dd room.
Hi kcamelia..
Just a couple of question what happens if she still wakes up at her normal time or worse wakes up when I'm in there.eeck that thought scares me. lol Another problem is she wakes anywhere between 2:00 and 2:30 and then at 4:00 and then again at 6:00. She is DF at 10:30. I know I've created a night waking monster as I usually feed her everytime :-\. She will be 6 months on June 12.
KH
-
Well, Tracey says erratic wakings are due to hunger, but if you feed at, say, 3a, and she does not eat well at her 7a feed, then you should probably not be feeding at night. Hugo was waking 2-330a and 5-530a. That may seem erratic, but I was just sure he wasn't hungry--he eats so much during the day: 30-40 oz. So, I tried w2s. The first night, it eliminated the 3a wake, but he still woke at 520. I did pupd until he went to sleep (20 mins).
The next night I did w2s, and he woke a few minutes after I left the room! He cried out but went right back to sleep by himself. The next night he was already stirring when I went in there, but I poked him just to be sure. No wakes! The 4th night, he was stirring, so I didn't touch him, and he didn't wake. That was it! If she wakes while you're in there, you'll have to pat/shh or pupd, if you're up for it. It's unlikely that she will, though, because the reason it works is that she is in a deep stage of sleep an hour before she usually wakes, and she just needs to be roused to a lighter stage to change her cycle.
Good luck, all!
-
My best friends little boy was the same way - I have to agree with the other suggestions about letting both of you get some sleep no matter what position before you try to tackle this - she let him sleep on her so they could both sleep and then in the day she would try for a nap to put him in the crib - sometimes it worked sometimes it didn't but she kept trying (maybe once a day). She also played with him in the crib in the daytime so he wasn't afraid to be in it. Eventually he did sleep in the crib - she would put him in just before he would be totally asleep (droopy eyes or REM sleep) and for the nights she had the Dad work with him - eventually they got it.
Good luck!
-
This is just a thank you for Aidenmc. To paraphrase: 'sometimes they just grow out of it'. Really, we can beat ourselves up and feel like bad mothers, but all these experienced moms who brag that their kids always slept with no problems and had 3 hour naps every day, twice a day - ok, I'm exagerating - but they just FORGOT the reality that their babies kept them up all night, didn't eat, smeared poop on the walls, and fell out of the back seat of the car.
Maybe there needs to be a public service message about the damage done when someone asks a haggard new mom if her baby is sleeping through yet, and the unsolicited and insulting advice they follow with.
-
Hi everyone ...
I have been reading through all the above posts and i ended up crying with laughter. Yay, now i know i'm not the only zombie walking around. Thank goodness i work morning only otherwise i'd fall asleep at my desk. I know it's not funny at 2 or 3 or 4am in the morning when you've already been up twice and know you're going to be up at least another once ... but in hindsight, it is hilarious. Are these lo's manipulators in training? Hmmmm ... seems they are. My lo will wake up 3 times during the night just to make sure i'm still there then quietly (or loudly) goes back to sleep, leaving me bleary eyed and reaching for the kettle for that magic fix - COFFEE ! :-\
I must say that i found a few interesting hints on this thread. My lo has started waking at 3am after sleeping through from 3 - 6 months, so i'm going to try the "cheek stroking" at 2.30 to see if this works ... do i see a full nights sleep on the horizon ... ;D
So, to all the zombies out there ... i sympathise and empathise ... they do say though, that it gets better ... Dare we believe them ? :D
Sharon :)
-
It has to get better or we wouldn't go back for more children, right? ;D Although, strangely, while I suffered greatly with lo#1 nightwaking as a baby (and vowed I wouldn't go through that again!), I still can't recall the nights being like they are now. I guess it's kind of like child birth, it is torture while it is happening but then a few weeks (okay, maybe months) it is hard to conjure up the exact feeling you had at the time. NAture's trick I think. Anyway, my lo wole at 8:10 pm last night (and I just felt awful knowing that this would probably be the first of many, and I had thought tonight would be better than last night when he was up for 2 hours straight). I ended up staying up later than normal (to actually have some time with DH for once) and went to bed at 10:30 fearing the worst. Anyway, he had mercy on me and slept until 3:30, then from 4:15 to almost 6am (he generally wakes at 5 ish). Yippee! I know, many would say, "you consider that a good night?", but our standards do change (i.e. I am often relieved when he wakes at 5:30 am, because he has often woken at 5, sometiems does at 4 ??? and once was up from 3:40 am :o. So, yes I am thankful when it is just two night wakings!
Another thing I experienced was when lo#2 was born I really started feeling sadness for the lo#1 I used to have (he was turning 5 and had grown tall and skinny, and I had trouble remembering him as a baby). I realized how quickly it goes by and I do try much harder to cherish the sight of lo#2 asleep in my arms.
Of course I am sure I will be back here soon enough, in sleepless agony over what to do about my terror of a baby who keeps waking every 2 hours :P.
-
My daughter is 8.5 months old. She is on formula milk during the day, but at night she is waking for breast feeds. I still have a little milk, so I give it to her during the night. But now the problem has become that she wakes 3 - 6 times during the night, and will NOT go back to sleep until I give her the breast. I have tried replacing it with the bottle, so that maybe I could eventually get her to give up the night feeds. but she just screams even more if I give her the bottle.! I am really wanting to get her off the breast now, but I don't know what else to do. She doesn't take a dummy, so I can't even try that! I am getting desperate, please help!
-
Don't know if I can offer any hope, Anthead. My lo wakes often too and never takes a bottle in the night (and these days is refusing it during the day as well). I wrote a post a few days ago trying to appreciate all the time I get to hold and feed my lo. Ha! As I predicted I am back here cursing because last night he was up 4 times and the night before he was up 2 times but once for 1.5 hours. Oh, and of course he then wakes at 5am for the day! When I hear him start at 8:30, only 1.5 hours atfer I firts put him down I am filled with dread because I know this will be the first of many night wakings. It is so hard because once the kids are in bed I REALLY want to unwind (these days just head to bed) and things just get started then. Ia m in pain from the constant holding, feeding and attempts at burping - serious knots in my neck shoulder and arm). UUggh! Luckily (or not) we will be finding out some info about Aiden's digestive problems in a week or so and then (as my DH will be home for 3 weeks) it will be BW bootcamp. I am terrified!
Anyway, sorry I couldn't be more positive today. I am just tired of doing this after almost 11 months!
-
My daughter is 8.5 months old. She is on formula milk during the day, but at night she is waking for breast feeds. I still have a little milk, so I give it to her during the night. But now the problem has become that she wakes 3 - 6 times during the night, and will NOT go back to sleep until I give her the breast. I have tried replacing it with the bottle, so that maybe I could eventually get her to give up the night feeds. but she just screams even more if I give her the bottle.! I am really wanting to get her off the breast now, but I don't know what else to do. She doesn't take a dummy, so I can't even try that! I am getting desperate, please help!
;D ; Don't get discouraged - she might be reacting this way only because she needs the breastmilk or maybe is teething and wants additional comfort - I know Sam needed his night feeds but now as I wean him (10 months) he is just requiring less and less time at the breast - the breast feeding clinic told me to cut out the night feeds by dropping one at a time for a week ( as I did in the day) or just by cutting down on the time on the breast...so you might try one or the other and see what works best. Good luck :)
-
I just recently was listening to a discussion on CBC about night waking and it was nice to hear a variety of solutions but also a resounding - follow your own instincts...I think we sometimes rely to much on "EXPERTS" and forget to listen to ourselves>>> :D We know our babies best and too often feel get caught up in feeling judged by society for not having a "perfect" ;) baby who sleeps throuh the night...so, I continue to wake up, rock or feed my lo because I think that is what he needs for now...but later I may try something different...HA! HA! ;D
-
I just heard the same thing this morning! This is why it is going to be so hard when we start PU/PD in a little while. I cannot stand the though of him crying inconsolably and us not being able to cuddle him and comfort him. That is our job! I decided that I would do all I could to avoid even hearing him cry (my DH plans to do the bulk of the work - he thinks it would be better for him b/c of the breastfeeding association) by leaving the house, using ear plugs etc., but I am not sure that will be enough to comfort me! Someone out there must know of an even gentler way to do this that works!
-
hi everyone,
i have enjoyed reading through all these posts.......my ds is almost 9.5months and only slept through the night from 5-6months. Was colicky and never slept at all in his first three months of life.......Then i found BW and it helped tremendously . He has a pretty good routine and i have posted several times about how to "fix" "solve" and just "get him to sleep"!!!!!! I have tried everything including the early bedtime etc., I am going to try W2S tonight for the first time as he tends to wake at 10:30isj like clockwork - I do not rock walk jiggle or use any prop to get my son to sleep - but he still wakes.....last night we had to go in 9 between 10:30 and 5am - then he was up at 5am to start the day........my husband and I are losing our minds!!! We are so sick of listening to it'll get better as we have been hearing this since 10days of age!! We have pretty much no fam here for any relief or help. Also, I have a husband that works shift work which makes things difficult as well. I know that it may just be him - but its just so unbearable - it makes the days hard - he is fussy as he isnt well rested - he has more teeth coming and is a terrible teether......... I always make it through but am struggling with the guilt we have all posted about - I just don't even want to see him anymore as the nights progress - husb and i fight more because we are both always exhausted - we fight about having more children as hubby is dead set against it..........i am scared too as I'm not sure I want to do this again.......I always feel guilty when people ask am I enjoying my mat leave - i am not!!! nowhere near as much as I thought I would......in some ways I want to go back to work just so I can get away from him for a bit!!
Also - Logan wears a helmet currently for his head shape as he had a neck prob and now has a bad flat spot....only another month for it i think (no its not the helmet - we tried!!)
Anyhow, thanks for your posts it helps me get through my days - what is with boys too !!!!! Man they seem to mostly be boys!!!
well gotta run and feed the king!!
thanks again - i will be around here more i think :'(
sending sleep vibes to you all!!
sarah ;D
-
Hi There,
I just wanted to add our experience.
Sophie slept well from birth, or at least as you would expect for her age, and started sleeping though the night (from the dream feed) at 4m old. Then at 5 months it all went a bit pear shaped and the last 6 months have seen me in varying states of mild sleeplessness to chronic zombie, not having had more than a few hours sleep in a few days kind of mad look about me.
To cut a long story short at 10.5 months she just about settled into sleeping through the night. Most evenings she wakes a couple of times but generally sleeps from 10-6. Although in the last couple of days she has started waking at 5 which is just a touch too early. But I'll take it over being up for hours at a time overnight.
I have watched her like a hawk to get her to naps when she is tired, do whatever I needed to do to keep sleeping if she has woken from a nap, had a long bedtime routine and kept a sleep diary to see that we are making progress even if it feels like we are not. At the moment I cuddle her to sleep which I am happy with because I know she will go straight off. I'm sure that one day she will learn to sleep on her own. It just feels that persistance is starting to pay off. As she is getting older and a bit more familiar with the world it just seems like she is more comfortable with being on her own in her room and doesn't need us unless there is something wrong.
Dh and I have had some arguments over her routine which I am so reluctant to vary/break as I know it will result in a couple of bad nights. He reckons there is no way we can say that with any certainty and would rather go out for the day and live with the consequences. I have had some criticism from friends for not letting her CIO but my instinct was just totally against this. It has also had an effect on how much time dh and I go out either together or with friends because we haven't felt comfortable leaving her with a babysitter.
Hopefully we are out of the woods and we have out nights back. But if I have learned anything about Sophie and her sleep over the last few months it is to realise that nothing stays the same for any length of time and to cherish each night of relatively good sleep because it maybe a while before another one comes along.
For those who are interested - as I couldn't cope with the crying involved with pupd I found Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution really useful.
Here's wishing everyone a good night
Claire
-
My sorrows to the ladies still struggling with sleep. My dd is 8 months, almost 9 and is just now sleeping from 7-5 (feed at 5) and then up at 7. I will say that it took two things for me. One, I was done. This sleep was going to get fixed, or at least I was going to get 6 hours in a row. (FYI - she has NEVER slept 6 hours but once when she was 8 weeks - I'll call that a growth spurt night ::)) I had help here to know that she no longer needed to eat in the middle of the night. She was just used to eating in the middle of the night. I would be used to it too if I ate at 10 and 3 for 8 months straight.
After making that decision I had to learn what the mantra cry really sounded like. I am not for CIO. Doesn't work for us. But remember that it is okay to let them fuss and cry, just make sure you have a distinguishing ear. If it's the scream get in here, then get in there. But the mantra cry can be loud too. My dd has a mantra cry most times. When she needs me I know. But I was mistaking the mantra for need me. So one night I let her mantra cry for 20 minutes. It was unbelievable long, but she was never screaming, just crying. She was laying there playing with her paci and fussing. This was VERY hard. I find that fussing is so annoying and even more frustrating that the BIG cry. All I can think in my head is "just go to sleep". So after working on that for 2 weeks, she started going 7-2 and then moved up every hour or so for a couple days.
You all are right though, all babes are different and sleep different. It's so incredibly frustrating.
-
kat1jk - your post made me realize something... I may be going to my lo when i don;t really need to. She does not really cry at night she fusses (no screaming or the I need you cry) more of a where are you, are you coming cry?
Anyway i constantly go in, because like you, I can not stand that fussing! It drives me more crazy then crying... and I definitely can't sleep when i hear her doing it, so like clock work I go in as soon as she starts....
BUT, after reading your post I think I need to really distinguish beteen the 2 cries and not run at the first peep.
We wil see what happens tonight!
sooo sleepy. ::)
-
good luck - I know it is so hard and the crying is annoying. take a couple nights to evauate and then work from there. She'll get the hang of it soon.
-
I posted a while ago saying that my dd was waking up 2-3 times a night for various reasons. Well, for the thrid night in a row, she has slept through with only a tiny bit of fussing during the night - why - because we switched the TV off !!!!!! ::) This is what was interfering with her sleep - she is very sensitive to noise and light, and so, even though the TV was on softly, she still heard it and the flickering screen obviously upset her - we started switching it off at night and voila - we have a sleeping lo. ;D
I'm still having trouble with her naps though, in that she only naps for 30/40 minutes at a time - however, i made the same mistake as Siennas Mom - going to my baby when i didn't need to because she was "fussing". Yesterday my dd was napping and after about 45 minutes, she started fussing a bit - i left her, and after about a minute or two of fussing (not crying), she went back to sleep and ended up sleeping for 2 hours ! This is the longest nap she has ever taken - she was awake for about 2 1/2 hours after that and then was ready for bed - she slept right through.
I can honestly say that after 3 nights of almost perfect sleep - i feel like a new person - it's amazing what sleep deprivation can do to a person... :o
-
Hi ladies,
It's been awhile since I've written because things have gotten a lot better at our house. A mere month ago DS was waking 8 times a night and now.... nothing. Goes 7:00 to 6:00 (knock on wood!). I don't know if it's because he got older and "grew out of it" or if it's b/c of the things I tried.
IMHO, the biggest change that happened to help him sleep through was weaning him. I weaned him from the breast and intro'd solids at 5.5 months. Not suggesting that for everyone but it was better for us after that. The first night that he slept through was the night I packed him with food- I mean i shovelled it in until he turned his head away. I was amazed at how much he ate- one full 7 oz bottle and 2 jars of veggies with cereal! I would always limit it before b/c "hey, that's too much! he's going to puke!" And I spread it out through the bedtime routine- so I start at 5:00 and end at 7:00. Yes, it's a pain but a small price to pay after 6 months of NO sleep.
Also, you guys, ignore the fussiness (but not the crying and screaming). Going to him after every little sound is not helping him or you. He's just talking himslef to sleep.
Another thing I did was limit his daytime sleep- short 30-45 nap in am and long 1.5 hour nap in pm and catnap at 4:00. I think that helped too.
One other thing changed... he can roll over both ways now. So he doesn't get stuck on his tummy.
Good luck to all sleep deprived moms!I hope DS doesn't revert and I have to come back!
-
Funny about the weaning....That was when the nighttime sleep was finally good for my ds#1 (of course he was 15 months at the time). I think sometimes that sleep problems are the price we pay for breastfeeding.
-
Hello! I'm new to this site but not to Hogg's techniques. I've read all her books and have talked to other moms who have. But, still, I'm having issues.
My sweet little Taylor (girl) is a week shy of six months. She's been on EASY since about 2 1/2 months. I am a single mother living with my parents. I am also a full-time student and have a full-time nanny during the day - but have still managed a rather rigid routine. Elisabeth, her Spanish-speaking nanny, is very loving and compassionate and adheres to the routine, however, I don't think she ever leaves Taylor's room until she is fast asleep. I think this is the problem. But it's more complicated.
I've observed that Taylor falls asleep with minimal struggle for her first two naps (1 1/2 to 2 hours each); the ones Elisabeth puts her down for. But when it's my turn, around 3:30 or 4:00, the poor girl is very tired but it is very hard to get her to sleep. I have explained many times the importance of creating a safe environment for Taylor to fall asleep all by herself, but when I'm home, at my desk, listening to the monitor, I hear Elisabeth "shh shhing" for a good ten minutes. Is that excessive? And then I've noticed she goes into her room before she wakes - I guess to check to see if she's still sleeping?
So here it is: I am friggin exhausted. I have long, hard days and come home to a struggling daughter. I have almost no help from my parents in the evening and am completely alone at night. At 6:30 Taylor breastfeeds (solids around 5:00), has a bath, a massage, and then I swaddle her and give her a paccy.
BUT SHE NEVER FALLS ASLEEP!!!!
I shh-pat, doesn't work. Sometimes I give her baby tylenol because I think she's teething. Baby Orajel. Lately a bottle of water that she frantically sucks then spits out and cries. When I practically lay on her and rub her head she'll calm, but as soon as I let go she freaks out. Or sometimes I stand beside her crib and go "shh shh" and she's cool but I go to leave the room (she hears my ankles creaking I guess) she flips out! So I've been resorting to sleeping in the crib with her. Am I crazy? I'm just so exhausted, but I don't want to take her to my bed, I don't want to nurse, so sometimes I'll sleep five hours in the crib.
And sometimes that doesn't even work.
She used to have a DF at eleven, now she has 2!! (around 9:00 then again at 10:30). I feel like I'm a BW failure.
I have some questions for you seasoned experts:
Is she too old to be swaddled? When (and HOW) to transition to no swaddling?
What about the pacifier? She is very dependant - often it falls out and all I do is stick it back in to calm her.
And what about Elisabeth? Separation anxiety (Taylor misses mommy?)
What do I do when she wakes, knowing she's had PLENTY to eat all day?
Thank you! Sorry I wrote a novel!
-
Sienna's mom & kat1jk: I have been bf DS around 10 and 2 every night, and most other times, I try to let him fuss it out, then if he really cries, I go in. Well, last night at 2, I decided to see if he'd stretch it a bit longer (since I fed at 10:40), and he fussed off and on for 1.5 hrs, but never cried out. I was awake the whole time, listening, ready to jump up and feed(actually got out of bed 2X and started walking down the hall), but never had to! (I am exhausted from being up for 2 hrs, anticipating, wondering, etc) but when I finally drifted off around 4 I woke at 6 AM and he was still sound asleep! I was amazed! He didn't need that feed, I have probably been just rushing to him too quickly! Well, that was one night, we'll see how tonight goes.
-
Good for you!
Its hard... listening to that fussing! I do the same thing, I automatically jump up at the first fuss, but I have been really making an effort not to run at the first cry. More then once she has suprised me with falling back to sleep! :o
Last night when she woke for the first time I didn't feed her I just kept putting her down everytime she stood and then rubbed her back- and she fell asleep!!
THat was HUGE for us because usually I pop my boob in her mouth...
I have vowed to squash these night wakings...it is too much getting up so often.
It sounds like you are having success. keep up the good work!!
;)
-
czupan -
so I would say that there are many things going on. Some might be better answered under the props board, but I will try to offer as much as I can.
first, you are not a failure..just a mom trying to do whatever it takes.
I would do away with the swaddle slowly...I have friends who have just eliminated it at 9 months. it was a very gradual process.
Seems she is used the nanny putting her down and she hasn't quite figured out your style yet. I would find something that is similar but that she knows is yours. How long do you stay with her after she falls asleep? She may still be in light sleep when you leave. that may be why she's freaking out.
sorry, I just can't think of any more ideas, I would really check the prop board and see what they say about paci and swaddle and nanny. good luck
-
This is such a good idea!!! I sometimes feel I just cant cope anymore, and Ive only been married a year and my tiredness is affecting everything. I just feel miserable all time x
-
It is such as relief to read this I began to think I was on my own with night wakenings. My 8 mth old began sleeping through from 7 to 5 from 4mths but with teething and illness he began to wake earlier and earlier and now this morning woke at 1am and took two hours to go back down then he woke again at 4.40am then with help from me stayed down till 5.30am. I am lost for ideas on what to do. I have changed his sleep times, put him to bed earlier/later, shorten naps, lengthen naps(when possible), decreased the amount of naps. He is teething at present but he isn't waking upset he is happy and wants to play! if anyone can help or even a little reassurance would help.
:'(
Cherie
-
Hi cherie!!
Dont worry, you are definately not alone!! I think I would have gone crazy if I hadnt joined this site last week, everyone has been so encouraging and helpful and most importantly seem to really understand which always helps I think. Personally Im not sure what to suggest as im completely lost with my 15 month old, but I am sure you are doing a great job and that with posting your problem, someone will be able to give advice!!!
Good luck
Tanya x
-
I hear you Cherie! You are definitely not alone!
I thought the dreadful night wakings were behind us when we finally got ds's reflux and tummy issues under control and began the dreaded sleep training. He was down to one nw - a quick feed and back to sleep (yes, probably not necessary at almost 1 year, but way better than before!). But we are not back to at least 2 wakings (sometimes ready to play and taking over an hour to get back down) and ever earlier mornings wakings (4:40 this am). Nothing I do will get him back to sleep at these times! Also, since we stared sleep training he dropped to 1 nap which is not enough and which generally starts too early because of his early mornings and rarely gets over 2 hours, normally 1.25. So he is put to bed early (5 or 5:30 often) and even this isn't helping these days. He is teething too but I don't think that is the only problem. I posted on this forum for help but may find some tips or at least comiseration here!
I have no idea how to get him to sleep more (beyond nursing and rocking him to sleep for his pm nap, which is what we worked so hard on eliminating). I guess props can be useful sometimes! ;D
-
Hi Becky,
Yeh, been there done that!!! Alia had been sick a few months back and the only way she would settle was if I cuddled her. Unfortunately then because I did it when she was sick she constantly wants it and although has slept the last couple of nights (Hooray!!) she does want this constant cuddling and when your exhausted Its so much easier to just give in!!
Im sure nearly everyone has been there as I dont really believe these text book babies exist!!!
Good luck
Tanya x
-
oh my gosh 5 times a nite these developmental stages are going to kill me how do u ladies do it. my son in the beginning woke every 4 hrs to eat and right back to sleep i thought this was great then he got older and started new things and it went to 3hrs so i had to fix this and get it back to 4 and now he is standing in the crib and up 4 times a nite 5 if u include the 6am feed and back to bed
so something like this
6am bf not full only one side and back to sleep
7:30 wake and bf one and a half side (always wakes up happy)
8:30 solids rice cereal and fruit
around 9 to 9:30 wants to go back to sleep and normally sleeps 1 to 1.5 hrs. (happy to go down)
11:30 bf
12 or 12:30 depending on him and what we are doing at the time. solids about 4oz veggies and 2oz fruit
1pm nap once again is happy to go down and with no problems at all (takes paci to calm then now he is pulling it out himself and going to sleep i just stay with him for a bit with my hand on his back. he may nap for 1 to 1.5 hrs and wakes happy and is ok to stay in crib for a while by him self and will cry out when he wants out.
4pm snack time
5:30 we go pick up dad
6pm dinner then bath and dad time
6;30 pm bf but he wont always take both sides, sometimes he falls asleep and others times he just doesn't want to he just wants paci and to go into his bed
7pm bed if i get him in there on time no prob but the later past the time the harder to get down sometime i have to pin him down or he just keeps rolling and standing. i do talk him thru it now and it seems to be going a little better.
then all heck breaks loose maybye 9 or 10 up again standing and screaming then i settle him and he is up around 11 or 12 and wants to eat this time.
1:30 or 3 is up again and i have to resettle sometimes he will just take paci and is right out and others i have to pin again but its not so long this time.
6 am i bf
so why is he so good during the day to go to sleep and fight it at nite, i have tried to extend his nap time during the day but all the sleeps got out of wack i had a very tired baby so i just went back to watching his cues and put him to sleep when he was giving tired signs.
when am i going to be able to sleep thru the nite, in order to change things i have to make him unhappy during the day which leads to him being unhappy all day and nite and that makes me even more nuts. so i figure i must be doing something really wrong and made a complete mess somewhere down the line.
-
ashntonsmummy - so your son is about 8 months? so I know when my dd when through this when she learned to stand up and it lasted about a week. practice during the day hhelping him learn how to get down in the crib. I would go cold turkey on not feeding at 11. I continued to feed at 11 and she would wake at 9 or 10. Once I spent about 3 days working at eliminating that, she went the length of 7-3 and then I worked on eliminating the 3. It took about 2 weeks total until she started sleeping straight through until 5. good luck, let us know how it goes.
-
Great thread!
I'm at a breaking point this early am not because my baby is waking too many times a night. Because we had a good thing going and it seems to be slowly falling apart. I'm beating myself up hourly because I keep thinking I'm doing something wrong.
I like the BW but with my personality I'm starting to wonder if it would've been better if I had never read it. I would just be going with the flow and trying to figure out everything from my baby. I keep trying to fit her into the book's schedule. One day things seem on track. Another day it's just a little off. And then other days she isn't doing anything just the way I expect. I'm trying to be consisent. I'm trying to set good habits. But I'm not sure I can do it.
I'm so glad to have this website. I feel so alone much of the time. Thank you everyone for sharing your tips and stories.
-
I know! This site is just fantastic!! Everyone is sooo helpful, especially when your are at your wits end!!!
Hope your feeling bit better now!! :)
-
Thanks Tanya and Becky! As hard as it can get it makes it easier knowing that I am not the only one. So many people keep telling me that he will sleep through as he gets older but waiting is the hard part! Last night alone he woke again at 2.30 am and I finally got him back down at 4.00am for him to wake again a 5.30 to begin the day! he has between 2 to three naps a day usually one nap it 1.5 hrs and the other on or two are 45mins. I find he has to have three because he wakes so early before going to bed at night other wise I would have to put him down at 5 or 5.30 is this too many sleeps for his age as he has just turned 8 months but was 5 and a half weeks early. Oh well one day at a time. With another tooth on the way more sleepless nights to come! I hope some good has changed for you too. ;)
Cherie (Nicolas's Mum) ;D
-
well not so great right now ds is awake now and its 11:30pm ok im back and i have to admit i may have cheated i gave him gripe water an it is now 11:45 and he is in his bed asleep for now. I still bf him at the 11 wake but no other times till 6am then he just feeds and is back to sleep. I dont have the patience or support at home to stick it through with the pd so i am doing what works best for us at the moment and that seems to let him try to settle himself and if he cannot then i will hold him for a min with paci and no eye contact all the time telling him its bed time, he gets sleepy eyed then i tell him i am going to put him in his bed and most times he will go to sleep and the odd time he needs a min more then will go down.
i hope its not much longer these wake ups without bf he is making me nuts i even thought about letting him cry i tryed for a min but i couldnt do it he doesnt understand so it just makes me feel even worse. i wish there was someone who could come and help me for the wkend someone who has done this and can help me or make sure i am doing it right i am tired and getting really run down.
;
-
Hi ashtonsmummy,
I hope your feeling abit better now - i do understand how you feel. I had tried to do the controlled crying thing as the health visitor suggested but then i felt worse and couldnt let her cry and then felt I was a bad mum for even considering it!!
I hope things get better - im just taking one day at a time!!
Thinking about you.
Big hugs
Tanya x
-
Cherie
I dont know if i'll be any good with advice for Nicola but i know that Alia at 15months is only starting the transition to 2-1 nap so im sure that 3 naps isnt too much for her if she is taking them. Alia was never a great napper and would tend to nap like Nicola at 45mins at a time.
Try not to worry and just take it as it comes - thats all i think any of us can do!!
Good luck xx
-
thanks Tanya it makes a world a difference knowing someone's there.
-
hi cherie..and everyone else - sorry i have been absent from this thread but think everyone is doing a wonderful job :)
cherie - i would say that at 8 months your lo really only needs two naps. if lo is getting too much daytime sleep (even if there is an early waking..) that you will have a continued cycle of early wakings, as lo will keep 'catching up' on the missed night sleep with this extra nap. try to leave lo up for a reg amt of A time in the morning - even if lo seems tired - try to get the the reg A time maybe a bit less and continue your day from there. maybe your routine needs a bit of tweaking. my apologies if you have already done this but if you post your routine i could take a closer look for you...i have just read this page :-[ my lo is also early not quite as early (three wks) and as i am sure you have found out - with some things you have to use the adjusted age and other's things happen at a 'normal' time...i do think by this point your lo should be able to go to two naps a day and that it would improve the night wakings..imo that is.
-
Hi everyone,
I am really struggling these days with lo. Last night he woke 5 times and was up at 5:45 for the day. Ever since "falling asleep independently" (i.e. in his crib - we are still with him) lo has been so overtired. I am so sick of everyone (DH, mother) telling me to keep him up later (because he waskes at 5:30 on a good night and I end up trying to get him to bed by 5:30 pm to catch up because he is only napping 1.5 hours a day). Most of the advice I have received has been to try to aim for one midday nap (as it is almost impossible to get him to have a pm nap) but it is not enough. I really don't know what to do next. The other night was so bad (even with an early bedtime he woke twice for 1.5 hours) that he ended up sleeping in until 7:00, which threw his whole routine. He ended up with a 1:15 nap that lasted almost 2 hours and we put him to bed later (asleep by 7:20). Big mistake in my opinion as that produced a horrible night last night. I am dreading tonight. He is not settling for bed, didn't eat a proper supper and I know I will be up all hours. Plus DH is gone before dawn tomorrow so I won't even be able to sleep in at all. I also have a 5-year-old and find it hard with no sleep and no moments to myself. I keep trying to remind myself that this will get better but it is really hard to see how at this point. DS is 1 today! I wish he would just settle down. The only way I think I can get more sleep into him is to go back to BF him to sleep (which we spent so much time trying to unlearn).
Sorry for the rant!
-
aidenmc im so sorry to hear your having such a bad time of things, sending you lots of hugs and love. sorry i have no advice for you as i am going through pretty much the same thing as you except i still bf my lo to sleep in the middle of the night cause i havent got the energy to do what you do. Best of luck to you hope things get better soon
-
Becky,
Hang in there honey!!! Thinking about you. Sending you big hugs
Tanya xx
-
Thanks gals!
Well I am putting it all down to teething. Finally saw his 4th on the bottom poke through today (I really don't know what I will do for the molars ::)). Last night he woke after 45 minutes then after 1.5 hours. He was not happy going down either and I had to nurse and go through the whole routine twice. Turns out he was starving (and probably was the night before). He hardly ate any supper and by bedtime was so hungry that the BF just wasn't enough. Then when he woke I had nothing more to give him. Finally gave him a bottle (he refused at first then took about 5 oz) after he kept coming off the (empty) breast whimpering. He went back to sleep and slept from 10 until 4, nursed then slept until 5.:30. DH also decided to stay home so it turned out much better than it could have. I am going to try to find those Highland's teething tablets as I have heard good things. I need any help I can get for the next 12 teeth! He went to bed tonight with a full belly, TYlenol, Motrin and teething gel. He was pretty overtired though so I hope it goes okay.
Thanks for your words of support. It is so nice to be able to come on here and vent when all seems to look so bad through sleep-deprived eyes!.
-
Let me know if you have any joy with the highlands teething tabs!!! Im desperate to try anything!!!
Sending you big hugs and sleeping vibes
Tanya xx
-
The teething gel works great also. This board seems great. It is nice to know I am not alone. Most times I feel like I am. Other mothers I talk with seem to shy away from talking about night wakings like they are embarrassed that they have not achieved success either. Then on the other spectrum there are moms who have had their babies sleeping through the night at 9 weeks. My son is 7.5 months and wakes sometimes every two hours. I have tried the gentle removal for some time because we are stuck in the nurse to sleep problem but to no avail. I am so tired we fall asleep together. PU PD is just so tiring. OH well it is nice to know I am not alone.
-
Believe me you are definately not alone!!!
Im up today from 4.30am!!! My little angel just doesnt seem to want to sleep anymore!!!
I guess im just going to have to get used to it!!!
good luck
Tanya x
-
Hate to say it but it is nice to know I am not alone. My lo was up "late" this morning: 5:30am. Before that I had a few nights of 4-4:45 am. Tonight he has been up twice already and it is only 9:25pm. He is still waking 2-3 times per night, up early in the morning and taking only one nap in the morning, so we have an early bedtime too. I can't get out of the cycle. I never managed to get the Hyland's tablets, but the tooth is already through and he has stopped biting me (although I am covered in little round bruises), so I guess I don't have the teething excuse anymore. I am still dosing him with some medicine before bed just in case, but as that doesn't seem to help I should probably stop. Aiden is a year old and I really see no end to this. Plus I feel we are going backward in terms of his habits. When he wakes he only wants the boob and we are helping him more and more in the process of falling asleep.
Smiletoday: I too was Bf to sleep until June when we spent 3 weeks "training" Aiden. Basically DH took over and did a lot of pd. I would still nurse before sleep just in another room. THen I would hand him over to DH. Now though he sometimes is virtually asleep when I am done BF him (depending on the timing) ro he spends a lot more time on my or DH's shoulder at the cribside. I don't know if the answer is to just wean him and get tough with the nightwakings or what. The thing is I am taking the boys to England mid-August and I think it may be handy to be still Bf during the trip. Who knows.
GOod luck tonight everyone!
-
Becky,
I think I would have gone crazy if it hadnt been for this web site!!!
I cant really give any advice on BF as I had an operation years ago and so cant. But im a great believer in go with what works for you and Aiden!!!
Good luck x
Tanya and Alia x
-
I hear you Tanya! This site is like a little lifeline!
Becky
-
So guess What
My lo did a 6 hour last night from midnight to 6 am. I woke up and was like what happened and ran to his room and he was fine ;D he was just about to wake up cause he was hungry. ;D ;D
So i am hoping tonight will be the same. I am sure what I did different( only was the gentle removal which maybe has finally paid off.
Now what do I do with the habit wakings. How do I approach those? Good luck to everyone. Have faith.
-
Hi all,
I am newbie to this area. However, as I was reading all your posts I realised that I can do with some support. I hope those of you reading this can shed some lights...
My baby is now almost 11 months and he is having sleep problem and I am having sleep deprivation and I feel like I am going mental soon... I feel all down..
My bub has been sleeping with us for a while now, till two weeks ago we decided that that is it .. so we try him on his cot, he was all good .. no cot phobia etc.. was able to sleep after some help of settling ie shhh/pat.. Things went well for a couple of days, and now is all downhill.. to a point where I can't see the tunnel of light.. I feel lost.. What went worse is that I suspect my bubby has separation anxiety, few days ago, he started waking up every other hour just to stand on the cot to "Oii" me in the middle of night, I would then tuck him in and he would be off to sleep. Another thing is I realise he is having more difficulty falling asleep then before, he wont close his eyes to doze off no matter how tired I can see in him.. he would shut eyes blink blink and open again.. then the same but he would quietly lay on his cot in that comfort situation for up to an hour but just not asleep.. and there I am trying my best to shh/pat him to sleep .. last night, he woke every hourly.. and i would do then tuck him in and he would doze off again this went on till 6am he started crying bad, I then tucked him in and shh/pat and he slept till 830am.. Nowadays, even napping seems difficult for us.. seems like he is reluctant to close his eyes.. As I said I suspect that he may have separation anxiety but yet seem not, he is ok playing on his cot after awake till i come fetch him..??!! I am all puzzle out..
Also, my lol not only having sleep problem, he has eating problem ie, he wont eat he would clam his mouth tighter than a clam?!!! sometimes meal time can go up to an hour, with patiences he would eat that is when he feels like opening his mouth he would take couple of mouth full then clam up again and repeat.. tt's why up to an hour.. i dont know if this is consider as force feeding but that is the only way i can ensure he has full tummy.. sometimes he would clam up after one mouth full how could i then excuse him from his meals knowing that definitely one mouth full wont fill him up.
I dread his feeding and sleeping... I hope all this end soon.. I am trying very hard to sustain my energy and tellling myself that I will have to make it through if not we will be back to square one ie sleeping with us.. My hubby cant help much cos my Lo just wont let my hubby put him to sleep..
Thanks for letting me vent out.. I am still trying to find my lights.. and crossing my fingers, my Lo will sleep better tonight..
-
HUGS to you!
I am sorry to hear things are going so badly for you. I wonder if you might want to go to your doctor. Could be the eating and sleeping are related and that it is more than separation anxiety. Have you introduced any of those potentially allergenic new foods lately - I am thinking milk. I have heard it can cause problems sleeping. Another thought is that he could be overtired. Have you thought about an earlier bedtime for a while? Could your lo be teething? MAybe you could try some pain medication before bed.
Maybe you could post your whole routine here and perhaps on one of the other threads to see if anything can be done there. My lo went from 2 to 1 nap per day just before 12 months and it has been a very rocky road.
Hang in there. I definitely know what it is like to be sleep deprived. If your dh can't help put the baby to bed maybe he can take the load off you in other ways. Mine gets up early with the kids so that I can have an extra hour or two of sleep. I really count on that time!
Becky
-
Hi mums,
Oh how relieved I am to know there are so many of you out there going through what I'm going through. My lo is 9 months and has never slept through the night. She will, on average sleep 11 hours but it's broken up. Sometimes it's just to give her dummy, as she can't find it, or sometimes it's reassurance. Then there's the colic, the teething, the wind/constipation.
My DH works away from home for 6 weeks at a time and it's tough. He's great support when he's at home, although he's not so good at getting up through the night - he seldom hears her. We, too, have been arguing loads (which we don't normally do). It's due to me and my sleep deprivation. I'll get 4 hours, then she's awake and then it's broken again. It's totally soul destroying. I doubt myself all the time and cry at least twice a week about it, trying to be a good Mum, wife and keep on top of everything else like the housework, garden, seeing friends and having time to myself (what's that?!)
I related to so much of what you're going through. Some days are better than others, but some are just so desperate and because she's going through the separation/anxiety thing just now, it's even worse because I can't leave her to play on her own, she needs to see me always.
I know that if I was getting enough sleep, I'd be a much calmer person, not irritable and I wouldn't resent my lo for not having a longer nap so that I could catch up on things myself.
She's asleep now, so here's hoping it's a better night......it just has to get better. And, yes, to someone who asked the question about would it make anyone think about not having any more children - it has crossed my mind because I don't think I could go through all of this again but then I don't want my DD to be on her own either...decisions, decisions.
LOL to all of you sleepless Mums
Julie
xx
-
Hello
Just wanted to say to Julie and others who are thinking they might limit family size due to concerns about going through the sleep deprivation again- I have been thinking...! My DS is nearly 6m, never slept longer than 5 hours in the night (and even that's a treat), is an atrocious napper (2x45mins today despite numerous attempts). I have also heard about all the perfect babies at my weekly groups who sleep like angels, but I believe in Karma. I would much prefer to have a terrible sleeper the first time, when I have the time to deal with him without thinking about an older child. Next time I fully expect an angel baby, and all of the mums who had it easy this time around will experience what I have gone through this time! Also was thinking about the fact that this period is such a short time in my life, and I look at my siblings and think about the fun we had growing up and what wonderful people they are, and I know that DS isn't going to be my last baby despite the exhaustion and stress. Hope this helps others see a little bit of sunshine!
rosie ;D
-
I would much prefer to have a terrible sleeper the first time, when I have the time to deal with him without thinking about an older child. Next time I fully expect an angel baby, and all of the mums who had it easy this time around will experience what I have gone through this time!
Ditto to that! Plus, I also believe that they are getting their difficulties out now, so our poor sleepers will be perfect teenagers, never giving us gray hairs! ;D ;D
-
Thank you so much for letting me know that there are more people out there in the same situatiopn as me - always hear from the smug mums who tell me their child sleeps from 8 til 8 - i'd be happy if my LO would sleep for more than 2 hours in the night. Sure it will get better soon, well before he's three anyway :D
-
Hi,
This thread was a fab idea :) My DS is 7 1/2 months old and we have never gone for more than two or three weeks of settled sleep before something changes again and we get night wakings, early morning wakings, or difficulties getting him to go to bed. I can really sympathise with everyone here who has talked about how sleep deprivation has affected them emotionally and physically - and had a real affect on their relationships :( At times I have almost felt drunk with tiredness - sometimes I daren't even drive in the morning incase I crash from feeling giddy! My DH and I have definitely felt the effects on our relationship, and at times it has felt like our marriage has been hanging on by a thread...
Anyway, I'm off to post my latest problem on the main forum...
I look forward to swapping stories and hints!
Mama
-
It is also affecting my marriage.November we will only be married for a year,but it feels like much longer.I am so grumpy these days and when i get into bed i just want to sleep....
Starting to feel bad,but don't have the energy to change it!!!
-
I hear you on that! I am in bed about 1 hr after DS every night (that's an 8 pm bedtime for Mommy!) I know DH doesn't get it, since I'm "in bed" 8pm-6:30 AM, but he forgets about all the times I am up, and how 1-2 hr stretches of sleep are not exactly "quality" sleep! Amazing how sleep can become such a priority when you're not getting any!
-
Hi everyone! I just want to say how relieved I am to find this site and this board. Sometimes as a mom you feel so alone and it is so nice to see all of you connecting. It gives me the strength to soldier on!! I am on my third baby and he is not a good sleeper! Was in the beginning....5-6 hours!! Not now... if I get 3-4 I am so lucky. Anyway I just wanted to say thanks for sharing your stories. I think it is important for other parents to know they are not alone!
Susan
-
I love this thread!! So nice to know you aren't alone!!
I hate the way I am now, I feel so frustrted with myself.
Feel very low and just like a failure.
-
would like advice myself as i have a 10 month old son, that depends on the breast to fall a sleep then needs it through the night every time he wakes (2 to 4 times a night). Tip any help please
-
I am really glade that this post has been able to help so many people. I hope that people here can continue to come her and support and help each other. Its importent to know you are not alone.
-
Hello,
Just found this website but have been reading the book for ages.
I have a 6 1/2 month old. she was the perfect sleeper until she reached about 5 months, now every night she wakes up at least twice. she doesn't want anything, i go into her room cuddle her up and she goes back off, then about an hour later the same!!
-
Is she crying? if not try not going in and see if she is able to go back to sleep.
-
First of all she not crying but I tried leaving her and she starts getting upset. Its not a hungry or in pain cry.
-
The thing is if you go in to early it doesn't give her a chance to learn to settle. Its ok to wait and see if they can settle. There's a big difference in CIO and letting them fuss a bit, by all mean go in if she can't settle, but give her a few minutes to try. :)
-
Thats what i keep telling partner, but he runs in half asleep. Have left it for a while but will try a little longer tonight.
thanx
-
Let us know how it goes ok :)
-
HI there.
My DS in 5.5months.He has 2 teeth that just came out and ever since he is waking all the time.
He normally goes to bed at about 7 7.30 and wakes up at 11 then i give him a bottle while he is lying down.He drinks about 2 sips and falls asleep again.That goes on trough the night.
When he wakes up he starts moaning and when i go in his room he is wide awake,i give him a bottle and he goes back to sleep.
What does a dream feed mean?Are you suppose to pick him up and make sure he drinks a full bottle,must you wake him for a dreamfeed or first wait till he wakes?
Sorry,been reading about dreamfeed but not sure what it means... ???
-
Actually what you have is a prop problem, your LO is depending on the bottle to go to sleep. Time ti nip that in the butt. Never feed your child laying down, it can cause tooth decay, be a chocking hazard, and it can cause ear infections.
When he moans do you go right to him? Try waiting untill its a real cry, then do pat/shh or PU/PD rather then giving him a bottle. The PU/PD forum can really help you there.
Dreamfeed is a feed you give in their sleep. Its done between 10:30-11pm and you don't wake your LO. You pick them up gently and feed them, while they sleep. The don't always drink a full bottle, just feed what they will take.
HTH
-
Hi mums,
I would like to congratulate you for the great job you are doing here!!. i always read your posts but up to now never leave any post. It was enough for me reading this web site and Tracy's books but now I am desperate and find no explanation or solutions for the nights waking of my baby.
My baby is almost 8 months old. Since 2 months he has been in structured routine and sleeping through the night, no night wakings!!! With 5 months he started to wake up maybe once or twice at night but falling back to sleep immediately without any props. He never slept with my breast, not in our arms, always in his crib.
Since 5 days ago he is waking several times in the night !! He returns to sleep but I have to sit besides his crib and tell him everything is OK. Usually when he wake up he turns on his bailly and then he stays in this position till I put him on his back (I don't know why he doesn't turn himself because he knows how to do it). This morning I was so tired that my husband went to our baby's bedroom and he wanted to play with dad!!! Then I was 1 1/2 h to put him back to sleep.
I only find the explanation of teething but I don't see his gums inflamed altough I can see the first teeth behind the gums. And so much pain he doesn't have since he only scream when he wake up but then he is OK when I am there with him.
I am not used to night wakings, neither my husband and we get worried about what happenned with Agustin, why he can not rest like before. Is it because he has so much activity moving around the house??
OK , Here I will answer your questions and give my baby routine.
How old is your child? 7 months and 3 weeks
What’s his/her daily routine?
E: 7 am: wake up and bottle 230 ml
A: 7:30 am play
S: 9:30 nap 1 1/2 h or 2 h
E: 11:30 veggies with or without meat
A: 12pm play
S: 13:30 pm nap 1 1/2h or 2 h (depend on the first one)
E: 15:00 pm bottle 230 ml and some fruits
A: play
S: 17:30 pm catnap (but the last week he is not doing it anymore)
E: 18:30 cereals
A: bath, some soft music...
S: 19:30 pm or 20:00 pm
What’s nap routine?
How long are naps? Naps are OK, we overcome the 45 min naps 2 months GOP. But we he was napping so badly, he was sleeping better during the night
What's bedtime routine? Time? I told you in the routine
Do you bottle or breastfed?? Bottle
How much? or how long? 500 ml /day
If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed) I stopped breast feeding at 6 months
How many wakes per night? now 4 or 5 or 6 times
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up? He screams and some times he stays up a few minutes and sometimes till 30 min or like last night almost 2 h
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry? When it is a mantra cry I wait a few seconds and he coninues sleeping but when he is really fussing or crying if don't go it is worse and then takes him longer to come back to sleep. If I leave and he is not yet in dreamland he cries again.
What have you tried to settle?? Just shhhhh and put my hand on his chest. I never used pu/pd because he never really needed it. If he cries I sing very softly and he calms and tries to sleep.
What do you do for A time and how long is it? he plays on his own for about 1 hour and then I play with him or whe go to supermarket or to the squre to see another kids.
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones? I told before, I don't know if he is teething or not. he is salivating a lot but since 2 months ago and no teeth yet.
Do they have a prop? If so what is it? Well, his "prop" can be the pacifier. But I don't see it rellay like a prop because he need it only to calm and put him to sleep, then he spit it out and he used to sleep the all night without need it again since he was 1 month old. He only use it for sleep not longer than 15 min.
Well, sorry if this is long but I really need your comments and help. And I apologised because my english is not perfect but my mother tongue is spanish.
Thanks very much in advance.
Vero
-
This is the first time I've really inspected this thread...and I'm so glad that I did! I've got a group of friends in my town, all of us (about 8) have between 1-2 children the oldest in the group turned 2 in March. So, it's baby central. We all have read Tracy's books. And with the exception of my DS, all of these children sleep through the night, and have been for ages.
I've spent so much time and energy trying to get my child to sleep all night long (he used to at 5 and 6 mos old...he's now almost 10 mos.) constantly searching for new ways to tweak his routine, etc. Mostly on this site, but also elsewhere.
I too hit a low point this summer where my lack of sleep (DS was waking every 45 mins to 1.5 hours for about 3 weeks straight) was affecting my marraige, and I was feeling anger towards my child that was scary to me. We tried everything, CIO was the last straw, and nothing made it better.
I can honestly say that the only thing that helped me was finding a book that taught me how to work with the situation...not worry about the lessons I was teaching my child and how they'll affect sleep down the road, but just help me to get everyone sleeping for longer stretches so that I could actually function...and then deal with that stuff later. Book is The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. I'd highly recommend it to moms that feel like they're at their breaking points. It really, really helped me and my family. And gave us hope and patience that things will change over time. It even helped me to see the good in the sweet moments I got to spend with my little guy, singing him back to sleep in a quiet house while he played with my hair!
My son went from waking up 6-8 times a night, sometimes for 30 to 40 minutes at a time, to once. In 30 days. There have been setbacks, but it's so much better now. And now that we're all much more well rested, we can focus on things like getting rid of props! It's just way too hard to do that when you're working on 3 hours of sleep!
Good luck to everyone...
-
i am having similar prob, are there any tips out of th book you can give us now???
-
MDH Mommy-totally agree-great book! I love the BW ways, but I got so tied up in it I was on the verge of a breakdown trying to tweak this and that and get a good nap or a good night and No Cry Sleep Solution taught me to relax. I sleep better at night, because I'm not constantly worrying about him waking and what I'm going to do and how long PU/PD will take, and so on.
Again, I love BW, but this was a nice reprive for me as well. Told me it's OK that we have sleep problems and I'm not a bad mommy just because Daniel won't sleep through.
Thanks for bringing that book up MDH! I think it's a great additional resource.
-
Gemmah,
The best tip would really be to go out and get the book...not to be contrary - but you really need to read it from start to finish, it's a whole process and philosiphy - and like BW, taking little bits here and there might backfire for you. Plus, it will SO help to change your whole frame of mind if you read her introduction chapters. So calming. And it's written specifically FOR moms at their breaking point, it's quick to get through. I finished the book in 2 sessions after DS was "down for the night" (I use that phrase loosley....) ;)
I too love the BW and I agree with so many of the things in the book. And frankly, her daytime advice has been fantastic, but the night time stuff's just not working for my family! It's all so individual, and when it comes to something as important to your health and well being as sleep - you've got to find the thing that works for you!!
Good luck to you...let us know how it goes.
-
Hi, I just read a few of the posts, and I am so sorry you are having a hard time. We've struggled with night wakings too. I just wanted to ask, is it normal that if a baby doesn't get good naps during the day, that he WILL have night wakings. We do soo much better with good naps. But if he doesn't get good ones, I can expect night wakings. Anyone experience the same thing?
-
Yeah, that is extremely common. Sleep begets sleep. Good naps = good nights, and the other way around too. The problem is it's a hard cycle to break when you get stuck in the bad naps/bad nights situation.
Hang in there. We tried so much on our end, but so far, time and age have been the biggest helps. And not getting to caught up and overwhelmed in "fixing" it was important for me. I got so stressed about nws that I never got any sleep even when lo was sleeping!
Hang in there! you've got a little cutie, by the way!
Sarah
-
Thanks for the encouragement. And the advice! We'll keep working on it!
We think he's pretty cute! ;) Thanks!!
-
Hi there & hugs to you all.
My Lo had started sleeping through night again since we got rid of dummy but is now waking most nights as he has rolled onto his tummy and can't get back over - funny b/c he can roll from front to back during day but not at night!! Have tried swaddle, sleepsack and tucking blankets in securely, with rolled up towel or blanket between cot bars & mattress but nothing seems to help, he's a very determined Houdini. Luckily he settles himself back down to sleep once i turn him over but can't wait for this phase to end. Was getting used to actually getting some sleep again.
MDH - like to sound of the book you have recommended - i think it's always nice when you can start to relax over things such as this instead of constantly battling against bas sleep - find that it makes me stressed when I worry too much, which in turn makes DH & LO stressed - vicious circle. Will have to look into it if things get worse again.
-
That's when our LO started waking too. It was developmental, I think. And he hit another rough spot when he learned to crawl. Right now I think we're experiencing the beginnings of his learning to walk, so I'm expecting another rough spot.
Had a GREAT night last night though. Only one wake up for a feed, and DH handled the "developmental" wake ups (where DS is sleeping, but is sitting up in his crib....) so Mommy got a great nights rest. Ahhh. First time in about 2 weeks.
Don't you love that?
-
This may not work for you at all, but have you seen the sleep positioners? I have a friend who had the same problem, and she used it to keep her from flipping over.
-
Yeah, haven't used ours since DS was a newborn though. Right now, we prop him up on a pillow and he kind of nestles in. I might try a positioner though...that's a good idea! Will let you know how it goes.
Just got done putting him down for night. Cross your fingers for lots of zzzzzzzzzz's!
-
Yeah, haven't used ours since DS was a newborn though. Right now, we prop him up on a pillow and he kind of nestles in. I might try a positioner though...that's a good idea! Will let you know how it goes.
Just got done putting him down for night. Cross your fingers for lots of zzzzzzzzzz's!
I wouldn't use a sleep positioner for a mobile baby as I know of one rather sad story of a baby getting stuck... honestly it is better to let them get used to self settling when they move ( they have to a some time) than interfer
-
Hi Brooke, have you got a link for the sleep positioner thingy??? would appreciate a look at it. Think a lot of the rolling has to do with the fact that my little Houdini wants to start to crawl (already!!). canrotate and shuffle backwards & forwards, now started using knees as leverage to move himself on floor - think he may be practising at night - aaaah. Wish he'd stop though!! :)
Emma
-
Emma,
Did you see what Kate wrote? Something I didn't know. I still use one. Yikes! I hope it's ok. We started b/c he was freaked out in open spaces, kept using it b/c it is inclined, and he has reflux. Now I think it's a prop. :) He does wiggle right off of it at night, though, so hopefully it's ok. I have an extra - wish I could just bring it over and you could borrow! ;) Little bit of a trek, huh? Anyway, here is a link to Babies R Us. Do you have those where you live?
http://www.toysrus.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=sleep%20positioner&origkw=sleep%20positioner&f=Taxonomy/TRUS/2255957
I just went to http://www.babiesrus.com and search for sleep positioner.
Take care!
Brooke
-
Oh, I did want to mention something I've noticed about night wakings. I know I have read it over and over, but it is so true. Collin woke on Tuesday and Wednesday night at 2, 3, 4, 5... but last night just woke to eat (i don't do DF), and that was it. I worked really hard to get him good naps and put him to bed early. I've figured out a good amount of sleep for him (not too little, not too much), and if I need to, I just put him down early to make sure he gets that amount for the day. We had a stretch of 7 days where he did not have night wakings, and it was when naps got better (I had to extend A time for him to take longer naps) and I made sure to get him enough but not too much sleep.
I know this is common knowledge, but I need reminders! I just say this hoping it will help someone. ;)
-
Hi,
a question for MDH Mommy (and anyone else who has read this book),
Is the book you are talking about useful for babies aged one and over, or woud i be better looking at the one for toddlers and pre-schoolers, bit of an inbetween time. My ds is 1 year and 2 weeks.
Thanks
Jo
-
Hi there,
There's a chapter about toddlers, but there's also a No-Cry for Toddlers version. One year, 2 weeks might be worth getting both...
Good luck!
-
Thought I should join you guys; I am really ready to hang myself...... My little one has always been a fantastic sleeper. Great napper, sleeping through since eight weeks etc.... NO longer! About three weeks ago she got an ear infection with a lot of night wakings and that took about 10 days to sort out. Well we are still waking every night even though nothing is wrong. She stand in her crib and cries until I lay her down, give her her blankie and walk out, she usually settles straight away or on the second 'Put Down'. Does not sound but she always used to be able to settle herself and now that I am pregnant is takes me about an hour to fall asleep after her wake up so I am shattered. I just want to know if she will ever settle herself again......
Her naps are still fantastic she settles herself really well and sleeps for 2-2:30H. Her bedtime is the same etc.... SO I really do not think it is a routine problem, I do not see any teeth....
-
I'm sorry, I don't have nw advice, but as for falling asleep faster after one yourself, you might check out the hypnobirthing board in the preg forum. The relaxation techniques help me fall asleep faster in general.
-
My LO will be 4 months old this weekend and he is waking between three and six times each night. I am exhausted. He was moved to his crib (from sleeping on mom) over one month ago. His schedule is as follows:
7am wake & breastfeed
7:15 activity time & wind down
8:15 nap -this was usually 45 minutes but now normally 1.5 hours
9:45 wake & breastfeed
10 activity time & wind down
11 nap -this was usually 45 minutes but now normally 1-1.5 hours
This is where things get a little off track.
12:30 wake & breastfeed
12:45 activity time (longer than his morning A times as he doesn't get tired & wind down)
3:30 nap - this is usually 1.5 hours
5 wake & breastfeed
5:15 activity time
6:15 - go upstairs, bath at 6:30, relax with mom and dad. Attempt a top up (usually refused) sing in chair and pat-shh to bed (with his paci) at 7pm.
If he refuses the top up he'll wake at 8:15 to feed but goes right back to sleep. On a good night he'll wake again at 11 for a dreamfeed, 2:30 - wanting to feed or just fussy, 5:30 same as last waking, and then every 45 minutes until 7am. Last night he woke 6 times.
I have tried cluster feeding but he isn't willing to eat very frequently - even every 3 hours he refuses some days. I thought about extending his eating to 3.5 hours but he can't last more than 1hr 15 mins awake in the morning and doesn't sleep any longer than 1.5 hours.
Does anyone see something that I'm doing wrong? I know his afternoon cycle he is up for a very long time but I normally play it by ear. If he shows me tired signs then I slip in his nap and if he doesn't then the nap is taken later. We tired forcing the nap but then he only stays down maybe 45 mins and he won't cat nap at night which means he's exhausted by 6pm and beyond calming.
He is a high-strung little man but we've made a lot of progress with his so far and I would love some advice so hopefully I can get him to sleep better.
-
My LO did the early morning waking too. You would have to check this, but if I'm right, is he getting 4.5 hours of sleep during the day? I'm thinking the last nap of the day might need to be a little bit shorter. Sometimes early waking can be caused by a change in that nap. However, it can also be caused by overtiredness ::)
In the morning hours when I hated to get up, I would go in and hold her during the times when she would wake. after a while she learned to sleep longer during that period of time. But we had an early wake of 5:30 or so until 11 months. she would feed and back to sleep until 7.
My only advice would be to commit to DF and then two other feeds say 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. (?) Do PU/PD for the rest. But someone may have better advice for you, sorry not much help...but it does get better
-
My daughter is now 12 months, she had never been a great sleeper. I can count on one hand the amount of times she has slept from 11pm to 5am. She is still nursed in am and at night before bed. She falls asleep on her own but wakes up crying at 10:30 pm then every two hours after that. I have tried wake to sleep, but she still wakes up at her regular time....I do move her from her back to her side then she drifts back to sleep. Is that accidental parenting? I don't nurse in the middle of the night but she does wake up at 5:30 and nursed then. What should I do. The book recommends to sleep on air mattress beside her bed. I don't have one and even if I did, what should I do differently when she does wake up. I'm at a loss....my Doctor told me if I don't fix this now she will continue for another two years. She also told me to do the Dr. Ferber strategy. I must admit I do go in to her room a few seconds after she starts. Sometimes I wait by the door but If I don't go in and pat her or move her on her side she will cry loudly. All my friends babies have slept throughout the night. I avoid talking about this with others as they all say I need to let her cry it out. Can someone help us please!
-
Weazy,
I'm sure the mods will chime in here with some thoughts - but I've got a boy who is 11 mos now and our story is v. similar. If your little girl is falling asleep on her own, it might be separation anxiety that she's wrestling with. For us, the air mattress - helped HUGELY for that. If you don't have one, and can't get one, make yourself a fluffy spot to sleep and sleep in there as long as it takes for her to sleep 5 nights in a row. Our doctor had us do this (re: separation anxiety) and things are SO much better.
DONT do Ferber. If it is sep. anxiety that she's struggling with - you'll make matters far worse - trust me, I found this out the hard way...
HTH.
you might also want to visit with the PU/PD forum tho - they might have some thoughts to get you sorted out in no time.
Kate
-
Hi Weazy.
I would recommed wi/wo, go to that forum for some advice how to do it. It worked for my 14 month old, he slept til 5.30.
BUT would not sleep past this. Did wi/wo for 2 whole weeks at 5-5.30 ish. Did no good what so ever. then tried wake to sleep...no difference.
Then i tried putting him to bed 1/2 hour later (7 not 6.30), worked like a treat. He has been waking 6.30 - 7 am for over 4 weeks now, and does not even wake when dh gets up at 5.30-6.
I think if you try something once and it does not work, don't be afraid to try it again in a month or so cos they change so quickly.
Hope this is of some help.
Jo
-
I feel kind of guilty posting in this forum, because for the most part, my lo has been a dream. I recently bought The Baby Whisperer and it has helped me sooooo much with naps and sleeping through the night, fedding...everything. My lo is just over 6 months old, and I would say he sleeps through the night. He wakes at 5 or 6am, going down for bed at about 7pm with a dream feed at 9:30 or 10:00pm. My question is, he now wakes at about 9:30 for a bottle. I have the feeling he is just overtired (he refuses the cat nap, so is usually quite tired when I put him to bed). How do I avoid him waking for a feed at 9:30? I'm worried that I have started accidental parenting. I tried not to give the dream feed one night but then he woke at 12:00 wanting to be fed.
Absolutely love this forum, this thread, and the baby whisperer in general!
Gotta go, my dh interrupted me 4 times while I was trying to post this...men!!
-
Yes to all!!!
My DD is almost 5mo and used to sleep quite well... one or two wakings to nurse. Now, she has started waking every 2 hours to nurse, and she usually has a full feeding, then repeats the process. She usually needs to be rocked to go back down or at least held. Not always, but usually. Her routine is about 30 minutes and she goes down btween 7:45 and 8pm. Not the best napper, but she sleeps a good amount during the day. I don't think she is overtired. I wish I knew what I could do to help her make it a bit longer... I would be thrilled w/ two nw's, but right now it is:
down at 7:45
up at 11:45 (or earlier)
up at 2
up at 4
up at 6:30 for the day
I am beginning to feel like a bad parent and that I am doing something wrong, but I absolutely refuse to let her cry. I am just starting the BW book, but does anyone have any quick tips to help us in the next few nights? She sleeps in a bassinet next to our bed or in bed with us. No solids yet... but do you Mommies think that would help? Should I start the DF?
ANY advice is appreciated!
Thanks in advance for the support.
-
Hello all,
Seeking advice- New to BW/EASY and loving it! So trying to convince dad and grandma. Dad's almost there, grandma, well ..... Have LO#1 who is 2 3/4 and regressed when LO #2 came home( gee what a surprise). Try to darn harn to keep up with EASY.. LO #1 is in day care so I can really work at EASY during the weekdays, weekends are harder.
Recapped all below as to where me and my LO #2 are at.
THANKS so very much for BW support! So far BW has been better than those therapy appts every Thursday night!
Although, it is nice to get out and have a hot cup of coffee.- HA ;D
Wendy
1-Having trouble with nightwakings after last night feed.(approx 6-7pm)
(I will start ( try ) to implement those dream feeds at approx 10-11, however, LO usually wakes anyway and wants to eat 3 oz of formula or so.. sleeps till 2:30am or so.)
2-Having trouble with the recommended 5pm -6pm swing of cluster feeds, LO only wants to have 1 oz here 2 oz there. Before you know it he gets the rest of the bottle before he goes to sleep for the night and it results in ES? Is that so bad?
3-Having trouble with night waking after that 2:30-3am feed(takes 2-3 oz)
LO wakes at 5 and 6am, wants E/S. Should this be his wake time? I try to aim for 7 am wakey time..( please LO?)
Q & A as recommended before posting:
How old is your child?
10 weeks yesterday
What’s his/her daily routine?
(aim for)
E- 7 am or so
A- 7-8 awake - begin wind down approx 8 or 8:15
S- 9 -9:15 or so- 10 am
(All pretty much the same all day. 2.5 to 3 hour windows
Naps are pretty much limited to 1 hour or so - have tried to sooth with wake to sleep or sooth back to sleep- does not always work. Wind up with lots of A time till next feed and becomes overtired.
Try to extend the 2nd rnoon nap the best I can, but this time is the hardest)
A -Up from 5pm-6:30- Very strange time- Fussy, does not want to eat or sleep.
Rest of the night:
E- At approx 6:30 or 7 and down till 10:30 or 11. (full 4 oz)
S- till approx 2:30- 3
E - at 2:30 or 3 ( sometimes 3 or 2 oz)
S- sleep till 5- fusses- try to sooth - wake to sleep- never lucky
E- Attachment parenting ;-(- !oz or so)
S- sleeps till 6:15 or so- wants to get up?
S-sooth and more till 7am again.
A- 7am or 7:15 or so
E- See above
What’s nap routine?
Wind down approx at 1 hour to 1:15 min into Awake time. Quiet upstairs in his room, hugs, cuddles, swaddle
How long are naps? ;
1 hour tops unlesss I drive around in the car or stroller- I know this is bad!
What's bedtime routine?
If night for bath than I try to get it in after the last feed. Sometime the E and bath are reversed.
Time?
Try to keep it between 6-7 pm
Bottle feed-
Try to get 4 0z at each feed. Feed is approx 15 to 20 minutes with burping 25- 30 minutes. LO has horrible loud burps and does not do well with guzzling.
How many wakes per night?
1 at 2:30 or 3 and early at 5 or 6 ( again he will wake at 11 pm too - of course though with the dream feed he never wakes up truly. Even with the dreamfeed he is up at 2:30 or 3am)
What’s your LO like when waking at night?
Whimpers,cries, gets louder. Try to hold him off with a paci, but only get half hour of so.
How long is he/she up?
For just the feed time -
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying?
Sometimes it is the swaddle that is undone and we do re swaddle- sooth, may or may not go back to sleep
Usually he wants to eat.We do use the paci again. Wake to sleep does not seem to work ( and my back cannot seem to bend into the crib for 20 minutes)
What have you tried to settle??
Sometimes wake to sleep - More successful with Pu pd and rock 20 full minutes- Still trying to learn the pu pd method and other remedies.
What do you do for A time and how long is it?
A time is spent in am quiet at home. Singing softly, play object- small soft black/white red objects. little swing time and tummy time. Really try to keep calm and not run out to mall for xmas stuff.
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones?
Not yet.
Have you introduced cereal?
No
Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months)
Do they have a prop?
Yes, paci
Do they have a lovie?- not yet
-
Now I have a new problem with my lo! He has stopped waking for the DF, but his new trick is to roll over onto his belly (he has lately started sleeping on his side) and then he gets stuck! You can tell when that is the reason he is awake because of the scream he lets loose! I have to laugh because it is kind of funny, but at the same time, I think he would sleep through the night if it weren't for that. He is also teething right now, and once he wakes up, his little mouth is bugging him, so I get that sorted out. I've been giving him loads of tummy time, and he used to roll over better from his tummy to his back, but it's like he has forgotten how! Any ideas?
-
I would recommed wi/wo, go to that forum for some advice how to do it. It worked for my 14 month old, he slept til 5.30.
Can you post the link to the WI/WO forum? I've been looking for it but can't find! :) Thanks!!
-
I am so glad that this support group is here...My dd is 13 months now and she still gets up every 2-3 hours and will only go to sleep if i am nursing her...tonight is going to be the first night of trying the pu/pd method again...I am a little nervous because i have always given up but this time i have to stick it through because i am slowly going crazy and feeling resentful...I feel so guilty for my resentfullness :'(
I started to cry when i seen this forum because there is people who i can talk to when i am feeling bad..thank you so much for this support group and wish me luck :)
-
Thank you for putting this support section together. I am so frustrated it is not even funny. Just knowing that this is here may help a little.
Right now my DS is 16 months and he has started within the last few months to be up anywhere between 4-6 times during the night. He hasn't always been this way.
I am sleep deprived. Very cranky and very frustrated. Almost in tears.
Suzie
-
I thought i had made a breaktrough with my lo last week...but then she got sick...I had been doing pu/pd for the 1st day and then after that all I had to do was sit in the room where she could see me then she would sleep for 5-6 hours and wake up and go back to sleep until 6 or 7:30... but after the 4th night she started to get up at 3 and stayed up for 2-3 hours just laying in her crib wide awake...so frustrating!!!! I stopped nursing at night(was nursing non-stop every 1 1/2 -2 hrs before started to try and remedy the problem) she surprisingly had been ok with that. Then she got sick on the 12th night and still is sick so that went all out the window..is that normal? When they are sick should you keep up with the routine or just go with the flow and start from square one when they get better? This may seem confusing but I am putting before and after pu/pd because I am going to have to start from square one when she gets better and I want to know how to improve what I was doing before she got sick 3 days ago.
How old is your child?
My child is 13 months old
What’s his/her daily routine?
We are getting on a strict routine but right now it looks like this
In between 6-7:30 wakes up
between 8-9:00 breakfast
between 10-11:00 nap
between 12-1:00 lunch
between 2-2:30 nap
between 3-3:30 snack
between 6-6:30 supper
7:30 bedtime routine( bath, read 2 books and cuddle)
falls asleep anytime between 8-9:00
Wakes up periodically at night
What’s nap routine?
Our nap routine is that we go into her bedroom sit in rocking chair, I sing 2 songs always I'm a little teapot and itsy bitsy spider and then I cuddle and put in crib (now that i am sleep training before she was nursed to sleep)
How long are naps?
Her naps are anywhere from 45 minutes to and hour in the morning, in the afternoons usually 1-2 hours
What's bedtime routine? Time?
At around 7:30 we have a bath, then read 2 books (last one always the same), have a little cuddle then put in crib.
Do you bottle or breastfed??
I Breastfeed
How much? or how long?
Around every 4-6 hours and about 10 minutes 5 on each side.
If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed)
both
How many wakes per night?
Before we did the pu/pd it was an average of 4-5 times around every 2 hours...after pu/pd and before she got sick it was around 2-3 but would stay up between 3 and 6
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up?
When she wakes up she crys for me and then when i nursed her back to sleep I would lay with her and fall asleep as well so don't know...when i did pu/pd the 1st wakings would be about 10 minutes and then the 3rd would be for the 2 hours of just laying in her crib while I sat in the chair in the room.
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry?
She is just fussing and crying
What have you tried to settle??
Basically before pu/pd would lay down with her and nurse her after pu/pd would just pick her up and give a kiss then lay down tell her to go night night and then stay there until she fell asleep.
What do you do for A time and how long is it?
When i got her to fall asleep without nursing the first 2 wakes i would just need to stand near her bed for 10 minutes and then she would go back to sleep..the last waking I had to sit in the chair for 3 hours until she fell asleep.
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones?
She did get in her top teeth around 2 weeks before starting pu/pd
Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months)
Do they have a prop? If so what is it?
I believe that before pu/pd it was nursing and rocking in chair...after i believe the prop may be me
Do they have a lovie?
No lovie
Thank you so much for listening and sorry for making it so confusing i just want to do this right and am myself really confused..thanks again and hopefully will hear from someone soon.
>:( 8) 8) 8) :)
-
good for you with your breakthroughs. I think this process might be a two step forward, one back. If you have been doing something for 13 months, allow for a while for the old routine to be undone. And sickness can throw everything out the window. Do what you can during that time and then try to get back on track afterward.
That said. Here's a few things I would try and they are just suggestions. One, I think her age may be a little old for PU/PD. I would try walk in/walk out. I think there is a thread under toddler sleeping. Instead of picking her up, just laying her back down in her crib and helping her relax and then leaving. If she gets worked up, walk back in a start over. I would also introduce a lovie in her bed. My daughter (15 months) just started using a blankie. She doesn't lay it over her, but it's in her crib. We also have lots of paci's (6 to be exact). Does yours take a paci?
Naps looks good which is positive.
If she is laying in her bed awake from 3 on, can you leave the room? If she is not fussing, let her lay in there to learn how to fall asleep without you. I only go in if my dd is full on crying.
okay, so I don't know if I've been any help, but I'm hoping that all works out well ;)
-
Thank you so much...your ideas are great...my little one doesn't have a paci but i will introduce a lovie for her. When she does wake up at 3 i can't leave the room but i think the wi/wo method would help with that..thank you again for your suggestions...its so nice to be able to talk to people who have the same issues and who can give advice :)
-
no problem. I would check to on the birth club boards for babies your LO's age. It's very helpful to have moms in the same stage. Good luck 8)
-
Hi everyone. I can't believe i am here. I have been just about everywhere - early wakings, short naps.....but there is nothing I can do to fix my lo's sleep right now, as our problems are due to illness/teething. We have only slept through about 5 nights in over 6 weeks, and those have been odd occasions, no pattern or sense to them. I do not have to feed at night wakings, mostly they are pain related I believe. Prior to the last 6 weeks it was probably week on week off for sleeping throuhg, again due to illness. She has not slept through consisitently since about 4.5 months old (which incidently is when she started daycare, adn started getting sick all the time).
We have had so many ear infections, throat infections, conjunctivitis, colds, coughs, and teething that my poor baby has no chance of sleeping through and I cannot resent her for waking up, but boy oh boy am I tired. The last two night I have only had to get up once per night, but each wakeup was about 2 hrs sigh.
I know there is nothing anyone can do right now (she has cut 2 teeth in the last week, and a fourth will be any day now) I just felt like knowing I am not the only one. Last night she could not fall asleep after she woke up because she was coughing and coughing but it was a dry cough, and she has not even been a pleasure during the day, so I am beginning to think we may need to return to the Dr again.....I am trying to hold off as I don't want anymore antibiotics for her if it can be avoided!!!
So, hello everyone. And heres to a good night sleep one day.
-
Hi Rina - can't believe you're here as well - seems like ages ago since i first strayed onto this thread. Poor Zara again - and poor you and DH. Have no advice as our night wakings have been related to paci, teething and illness so have had to ride most of it out. am sending some hugs down the line to you though - lord knows you deserve them
{{{{{{{{HUGS TO RINA, ZARA AND JACK XXX :-* :-* :-*}}}}}}}
-
Hi Rina,
Well, first of all my heart goes out to you. I send you big (((( hugs ))))))...You must be completely exhausted. :( I know what that is like unfortunately.
At the risk of sounding like an idiot, Did you try Camilia?. It is a homeopathic product (all natural). I am sure you can find it at your pharmacy (drug store). It relaxes my DD enough so she can nap or at least sleep for a couple of hours at night. I only give my DD Tylenol if she is in alot of pain.
Apparently, It is not uncommon for children to develop illnesses (especially ear infections) at day cares. My nephew developed so many ear infections that the Ped. told my brother and SIL that he needs to put in these special tubes. These tubes were put in and I believe they dissolved on there own. You should look into that. It made a big difference.
Good Luck and I hope your LO is feeling better soon !!!!!!!!!
Dree ;)
-
Thanks for the hugs everyone. I do use herbal products to help us. And then use panadol if we need to as well. I do get some sleep, usually a good 4 hr stretch every night, then it is hit and miss. Almost all of her night wakings are after midnight, so I keep going to bed earlier and earlier and earlier.....I think she wakes when whatever relief product we have given her starts to wear off ::)
Last night after I put her to bed she coughed and coughed and coughed and it was a dry cough so I put a wet towel over the end of the cot. While i was doing this, she lifted her head up, looked straight at me. I stood still. She looked back down at the mattress (tummy sleeper) and before i could even take a sigh of relief, she threw up. Not spit up or reflux. Vomit. Had to change sheets and clean her face up (picked her up before any got on her clothes ;)). Thought for sure after that we were in for a very rough night, but would you believe she almost slept through. Attended to her at 4am and 5am (i was up by 5 anyway) and she is still asleep at 5:50. As I said, I just cannot predict it!
She is having a 3 week break from daycare after this week, so I am hoping this will improve a lot for all of us during that time!!!
Re the ear infections we are trying to ride this out. In a few months, she will have been through all the seasons, and therefore all the bugs that are in each season, and I think this will mean fewer illnesses. Also, she is teething so bad, and dr says this can contribute (typo in my prev post, 3 teeth in last week, not 2, 4th any day now, so she will have 6 teeth before 9mo). So after this lot of teeth maybe we will get a bit of a break.
Hope all babies get into the Christmas Spirit and give their mummies and daddies some sleep for Xmas LOL.
-
Hi Rina,
So sorry you're having a tough time. I'm right there with you. LO getting his one year molars, and since 12.1.06 has not slept through....has double ear infection, we're on our second course of antibiotics, conjuncitivitis, and two sep. nasty colds...this current one comes with a horrible cough that makes me shiver ever time I hear it. Poor kid.
Anyway, hang in there, that 3 week break from daycare will definately do your DD some good. Hopefully you can keep her germ free and she'll be able to re-set her little clock.
Meantime, I find that sleeping on an air mattress in the room while DS is sick does help keep the length of the NWs to a minimum.
Hang in there. I'll be thinking of you at 2am! ;)
-
Hi all. My daughter goes to bed at 7:15 to 7:30 on the dot every night, she then gets a dream feed at around 10 or so when I go to bed. She has been waking up at 1:30 am every night. I have tried the pick up put down but she will scream and scream til I feed her. This never worked with her as a baby, I had to do the shhh pat method. She then drinks a 4 to 6 ounce bottle (but not quickly like she is starving) and immediatley goes back to sleep until about 6 am. She has been on this schedule for several weeks now.
I have tried reducing the amount of formula I give her (at the 1 am feeding), but she just wakes up earlier. Any suggestions? The major thing that has changed is she is now a back sleeper after 6 months of only wanting to sleep on her tummy. She now puts her self to sleep within 10 minutes or so each night...so I can't complain!
Am I asking too much that she sleep longer?
Amy
(mom to Elisa...almost 6 months)
-
Hello everyone
How have I not found this thread before? My DD is 9 1/2 mo and We have been having night wakings since teething started in August . :o :o LOL I hadn't realised it had been so long. I keep thinking of it as a temporary thing but we have probably been waking longer than we slept through ::)
We too have really struggled with teething and various illnesses. Her milk intake was up to 10 oz overnight and up to 6 wakings. We are now back down to 6 oz and up to 4 wakings per night. I am not even counting evening wake ups of which we have at least 2.
I know a huge part of our problems is habit. My DD has just gotton used to a bottle when she wakes, but I cant try PU/PD until her routine is fixed and have no idea what else to try ???
Oh dear I hadnt realised how much of a mess we were in. We are trying to work on our daytime routine as I was advised on the PU/PD board. I am trying to extend A times but she is very easily overtired. However she has been napping like a dream recently but nights are still awful.
I am glad you are all here for support , {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} to you all who are also waking in the night.
I am sure I will be back soon
x x x x
ps - hi to rina and emma - LOL we have to be careful not to turn this into march/april 06 babies #3!! ;) ;)
-
Amy, since your lo is waking at the same time each night, I think it is habit, and I think you should try w2s. Are you familiar with what that involves?
Maisy, we meet again. Zara has slept through the last two nights but last night I was up sick, and she is waaaay off routine today due to illness also. only 1.5 hr A time this morning before 1st nap and now she has been napping for an hour already. Do you really think her day routine is so off that pu/pd is not an option? And is she all better from her illnesses?
We get the odd sleep through here and there that gives me hope that when we are all well and not teething etc we will sleep great, but there always seems to be a reason.....
-
No, I am new to Baby Whisperer and this site. can you tell me what W2s are? :) Thanks!
-
Hi all... how are you? I've been here before, but lately, I've been posting in the EARLY WAKING SUPPORT, and I'm thinking I must be in the wrong place. It MUST be considered a night waking if they wake before 5? I haven't heard of anyone there having early wakings at 3 and 4ish. Hope you don't mind if I join. :) Need some support!!
-
Hey Brooke - you are slowly following me all over the boards!!!
-
Rina,
We have been lurking waaay too long!!! :P
How are you?
-
My DD is going to be 6 months on 12/30 and about 4 weeks ago started waking up 1-2 times a night. Could we be teething and how long will this last , she's been sleeping through since 7 weeks old and we've been doing the same bedtimw routine since then.
-
Hi there! Is she crying or playing when she wakes? Is she getting enough food? Growth spurt? Do you see signs of teething? Mine cries when he wakes teething. I give him Motrin, and he sleeps well. Has she started some new developmental things? Sometimes that causes them to wake. Does her routine need to be adjusted? Maybe she is getting too much daytime sleep. It could be any of those things, and something I may not have thought of. Consider yourself blessed that this is the first sleep trouble she's had. ;)
-
I thought it might be teething or it might be that she started rolling from her belly to back. She just seems to not be able to calm herself sometimes and it shouldn't be hunger but then again sometimes it's hard to get her to finish a bottle sometimes halfway through she wants to stop. I can control it better on the weekends but at the sitter I'm not always sure what she is drinking. Some nights she can calm herself other nights I have to go in rub her back and give her the bink and she will fall asleep. Hope fully we can get back on track soon.
-
she cries when she wakes as well.
-
Yeah, I'd check out a few things to see if I can figure out what is causing it and then go from there. Hope that helps a little.
-
I am on child number 3---and we just can't get lo to sleep through the night. :'( My other two were sleeping my 3 months and 2 weeks-------my 3 lo is now 4months and he goes every four hours ahhhhhhhhh I do want sleep!!! Thanks for letting me know that this is normal--I was begining to wonder
sleepless in Louisiana usa
-
Hi! this is my first time here so I'm not really sure what to do! Delaney is 4 1/2 months old and gets up every 1 1/2-2 hrs every night she is an awful sleeper (no naps during the day goes to bed after 11:00 every night) I just got the book and have no idea where to begin. Any suggestions?
-
Hi there arice...
Goodness, hugs to both of you... Delaney is definitely over tired. You can't get her to nap during the day at all? She should be taking 3 naps and going to bed no later than 8. I know easier said than done.
How do you get her to sleep?
Here are some guidelines for sleeping - after she wakes in the morning, put her down for a nap after 2 hours or less. Watch sleepy cues and put her down at first sign. I think getting her sleeping is the most important thing here. If she takes a good nap - 1.5 hours or more, put her down again after 2 hours or less. If the nap is shorter, she'll need to go down earlier. She probably shouldn't be awake longer than 2 hours at a time at this age. MAYBE longer, but that isn't the norm.
Is she eating every 4 hours and not sooner? That is important too. It affects sleep.
I don't know if I helped. Let me know if there are other questions you have. You can start a thread in one of the sleep boards. Then more people can help!!
-
She does take a few catnaps during the day but only falls asleep after eating or in the car. If i put her in her crib to nap she screams before she is touching the mattress! I think there may some separation anxiety too because she hates to be alone.
-
Will she go to sleep if you rock her? I might try that at first, just to get her sleeping, then move to Baby Whisperer tecniques. If she wakes up, rock her again. ?? What do you think? You could even rock her and hold her or sleep next to her in a VERY dark room. I'm just saying at FIRST until she gets some sleep in her.
This will get better.
-
Thanks for the encouragement! I need it! She will fall asleep with me on my bed and sleep for about 3 hours before waking up but she will only fall asleep if I bf. She doesn't like to be rocked. I think I'll try to get her well rested this week and try to start EASY when she is not so overtired. We were up every 2 hours last night. The only good thing is she is a really pleasant baby so when she is awake most of the time she is smiling and it's the best smile in the world!
Thanks again any advice is so appreciated!
Amy
-
To all;
I am very frustrated right now. I am at a loss at times as to how to approach LO's wakings.
As for routine, he is on a up at ??? (right now it's 4:30 but the past little bit it's been 7:00). He has a sleep between 12:30-2:30 (usually). He gets a bottle in the morning, at sleep and at night.
I don't know what other background I have besides he does have a pacifier (possibly a Prop).
I believe he's a Grumpy baby type. I am ready to pull my hair out as I need more sleep. He's up at least 1x - 6x at night (more often at least 2x).
I need some serious encouragement as I am having difficulty with this and with his screeching behaviours during the day (we'll deal with that separately though).
Thanks in advance,
Suzie
-
kirstencolesmama - what is bed time? You probably need to bring this earlier, it is quite common to need earlier bedtime to help adjust properly to having just one nap. That will help early wakings, and night wakings, if they are overtired. It will probably take a couple of weeks to fully help though, so persevere and be consistant.
My DD had a one nap day today, so I put her to bed at 5:30 to help her out (normally 6:30). She is trying for one nap a bit early, but I can't force her.
-
Hi Kirsenscolesmama14 (now thats a long one. phew ::)),
((((((((((((((((((((((( HUGS )))))))))))))))))))))))). I think your LO might be teething. Is his cheeks red? Is he drooling alot? chewing on hands or anything else? He might be getting his Molars. I hear that those can be painful. If it is his teeth give him Camilia (homeopathic product)..It is all natural. Or give him something a bit stronger. Tylenol will knock him out. ;D
Good Luck
Dree ;)
-
My son is 3 mths old and breastfed, weighing 16 lbs. He was recently a catnapper until a week ago when we started the EASY. Now he's doing wonderfully during the day; on a 3 hr schedule and now only takes 5-10 minutes for him to fall asleep for naps. He sleeps 1 1/2 hrs and I end up waking him up from most naps to eat.
Here's the problem. I wake him for a dream feed around 10:30 at night. He nurses from both sides and goes right back to sleep. However he's up again at 1:30 which usually he can be soothed easily. Then he's up at 3 or 3:30 crying and takes anywhere from 30-45 minutes to get him back to sleep only to be up at 4, 5, 6....
I have quit nursing him a night b/c I just didn't feel he was hungry ... not feeding from both breasts and falling asleep before he even finished one side. I've tried formula at night for the dream feed and that doesn't help.
I'm at a loss. He's never slept through the night but I'm at my wit's end. We shush and pat and swaddle... we do a bit of PU/PD
During the day he eats approximately 5 oz of breastmilk (when I pump) each time so I feel like he's getting enough during the day. I think he's just waking out of habit. I tried the waking him or stirring him on hour before he usually wakes at night but that didn't help after a few nights and I was only up every single hour those nights and I just can't continue that. I wouldn't mind feeding him around 2 or 3 but not if he's up all night. Any suggestions from moms our there? I am working 2 days a week and can't function like this anymore. I have an older son and I'm so crabby and exhausted I feel horrible for him. My oldest was an angel baby and slept through the night by 2 mths so this is quite difficult for me to handle. Any help would be appreciated
-
kirstencole'smama-
how's it going? any better? :) sure hope so.
meldoyle-
i have noooo idea if this is the trick, but my DS woke MORE if i gave him the DF. it seemed to disrupt his sleep or something. i fed him at 7pm and let him wake for his feedings. he's usually just wake for 1 b/w 7 and 7 at that age. so how many times do you end up feeding him at night? DF and then just one more? 2 feedings at night is the MOST he should need right now. PU/PD is not appropriate for a 3 month old, so I wouldn't continue with that. Does he take a paci? what happens with shh/pat? just continued crying? that is HARD. i am so sorry. at that age, my LO had lots of trouble sleeping too, sometimes waking every 45 min. it WILL get better.
-
Texas mom,
thanks for the support. Another friend of mine told me to stop the dream feed. Now however, he wakes up for the dreamfeed like clockwork. We do shush/pat usually on his back. We do a modified version just with our hand on his belly and slowly rock him a bit back and forth in his crib. He didn't like being on his side. I've tried to wait for him to settle himself but he never does, his crying just escalates and ends up waking everyone (our 7 year old son as well). He does take a paci but when he's upset it only makes it worse. I feed him around 3 am just b/c that seemed to stop the continuous waking (which was 3 am, 4, 5, and 6) Now he eats at 3 am and usually sleeps until 5 can be settled again until 6 or 6:30. Maybe I'll try not doing the dF. I know he shouldn't need to eat but I'm not sure what else to do. And he takes so much milk that I have to change the diaper at night or else he wakes up soaking wet so this doesn't help either.
-
I am begining to think about not doing the df. I feed my lo at 4 6 and 8. and then usually at 10:30ish and he tends to wake at 2:30 then again about 7
I wish like crazy I could get rid of that 2:30 feeding.
He is 4 1/2 months right now-----when he was younger I would not do the DF and he would wake up b/w 11 and 1 to eat then 4 and 7
Do you think I could drop the DF at this age. We are leaving in 3 days for vacation-----I ordered the miracle blanket--Praying like crazy that I will get it before we leave.
What does anyone think about his age and dropping the DF????????
-
meldoyle,
As far as the diaper goes, I used to have the same problem, and I tried the next size diaper at night, and it did the trick. I also used/use Pampers Swaddlers/Cruisers. Don't know if it makes a difference, but some people have told me it does.
If he needs to eat twice a night, that's ok. So that is good that he stopped waking every hour. How did you stop that? By feeding him at 3? That happened with my LO. I kept trying to paci him, and he'd go back to sleep, but then he'd wake every hour. When I finally figured out that he was hungry and fed him at the first waking, he stopped the waking!! I could have kicked myself b/c we experienced the wakings for weeks! Does he eat at 5? Have you heard of gradually weaning a feed?
cajunpowermom,
you don't HAVE to do a DF. like i said, it can make a lo wake more. i just let mine wake to eat. it worked for ours.
:)
Brooke
-
So the night before last Zara woke 3 times and self settled, and at the 4th waking was really crying (it was 4am, we get up at 5am) so we brought her to bed, but she couldn't settle to sleep, so I gave her bonjella and fed her a bottle (which she gulped down in like 3 seconds) and then put her in her cot, and she slept just another 45mins.
Last night, she woke crying at 9:30 and took quite a while to settle in my arms, and I gave her panadol, but then every time I tried to lay her down she cried, to I brought her to bed for the night.
I know she is teething (drooling, chewing everything, fingers constantly in mouth) and I think they are molars or eye teeth as her gums are red on top not bottom and she has all her top incisors. (But I am not allowed to have a good look of course ;) :-\). But I also know she is starting to suffer SA, and now I am at work, away from her, for 4 days in a row, it used to be two work, two home, 1 work, two home.
Is there any way to differentiate between a teething cry and a sa cry - to me her cries sound like "mummy come and help me" but she would feel that way with either situation wouldn't she? There are real tears with this crying.
-
POOR baby!!!! Goodness.
Rina, I honestly don't know. Maybe a little of both? :-\
-
Oh well, more cuddles more mama then ;). I love having her sleep with me, but DH doesn't. So I kind of don't mind when she has these nights, but just feel for her from her point of view iykwim.
I think I might be turning into the BW AP Queen LOL. But I am always aware that I am AP LOL.
-
Oh me too, completely. I have rocked Collin for every nap the past 3 days. He has been overtired, and I just want him to go to sleep. That is the quickest way to sleep. We've had 4 am wakings for 3 days, and today 4:45. :(
I hope Zara feels better soon. :-*
-
Well, last night just one wakeup, and resettled pretty easy. Then woke again at 5am, but DH rolled her over gave her a bit of a pat and left again. It is now 5:40 - if she is sleeping, she is dozing on and off, cause I hear noises every now and then, but none of those noises are her talking so I won't go and get her yet. :D
-
texas mom
Ok things are better. I dropped the dream feed and he's waking around 11:30 to feed then around 2:30 to feed. I'm Ok with that for now. He wakes around 5 but usually can be settled until 6:30. Hopefully this is a pattern although I think he's teething... lots of drool, red cheeks, hands in mouth all the time. I ended up giving him some Ibuprofen last night because he was just crying uncontrollably no matter what. That seemed to have helped. Thanks for your help and support
-
Rina, That's not too bad, huh?
Today was 3 for us! ::) Back to sleep at 4:45 till 5:45. More later...
meldoyle,
Glad things are better! I bet he will drop one of those feedings. You can also gradually decrease it and increase day intake. I think it's in BWSAYP. :) Happy to help you with that, though.
-
hallo
I've been reading this wonderfull forum for a month now and we (me and my DH) are preparing for PU/PD with our 3,5 months old son.I don't know where to put this post bc we had to change everything.
He fights a lot when we put him into his crib for a night sleep.He had never fall asleep before 8pm and have never slept longer than 5 hours at time.I think he is textbook/spirited one.
-We have a lot of accidental parenting (falls asleep at breasts-especially during the night, we give him finger to suck when he's crying hard, now he is sleeping in a hammoc above our bed...).
-I breastfeed-both sides each feed. Feedings 10-15min
-He usually wakes up twice during the night
-during his A time he is playing on the mat or with me or DH
-he shows tired sighns usually after 1hr after getting up and then i go with him to the bedroom, put him in the blanket and sing a song and put him into hammoc, he is usually falling asleep independly sucking his fingers with some MC sometimes
-he naps for 1,5 and 45 min
-we haven't started solids
-and he doesn't have a lovie
-I was trying to get him on 3hr EASY, but I have difficulties bc of his bedtime(time when he falls asleep and wakes is each day different :(
His day yestarday was:
E 2am - 10min (falls asleep sucking his finger)
S 2.40-6.00
E 6.00-7.00 (falls asleep at breasts in our bed:(
wakes up at 8.10, change the diaper and put back to hammock
sleeps until 10.00
E 10.00 - 15min
A 10.15-10.30 (tired sighns and at 10.35 in hammock again)
S 11-12.30
A diaper change, playing on the mat
E 1.30 -10min
no tired signs but i put him to hammock at 2am
S 2.10-3.40
A watching me making dinner:)
E 4.30 - 10min - some fussing at breasts
in hammoc at 4.40 - falls asleep suking my finger with shasshing
S 5-5.30
A playing with dad, bath at 6.30
E 7.00
bed 7.40 and he started crying, we gave him finger to suck, i lay my hand on him, shasshing...
when we turn on the light and he saw us he started to smile.Finally at 9.20 we put him into our bed, he was smilling, talkin a lot...then at 9.50 we put him into hammock and he suck his finger and went off...
slept untill 1 am, then feeding - 10min - in hammock with eyes closed
then woke up at 4am - i gave him my finger to suck and he went off
then woke up at 6.30 and E -15min
S 7.40-8.30
E 8.50 - 15min
and now he is sleeping from 9.50...
oh, it's so long post...I hope you have some advice for us
thank you
mila
-
Mila,
One suggestion for you is to put a thread in the Night Wakings Board. Yes, this is in the board, but I mean start a new thread. More people will look at it there.
I found these two things on this website that might be of help to you:
Here is a general guideline of what you can expect regarding awake time for your lo: (remember some babies get a little more, some a little less. It's just a rough guideline)
Awake time for babies
Newborn 50-60 mins
1 month 60 mins-hour and 15
2 months 1 hour and 15 - 20 mins
3 months 1 hour and 20 - 30 mins
4 months 1 hour and 45 - 2 hours
5 months 2 hours - 2.25 hours
Late 5 months/early 6 months 2.25-2.5 hours
6.5 - 7 months 2.75-3 hours. Some are getting more.
***Remember these are guidelines, NOT rules, so if you feel that your baby is not yet ready for these A times, please do not force them, as this will cause further problems***
3 months old:
Night: 10 hours;
Day: 5 hours - 3 naps, 2 naps of 1.75 hours and 1 of 1.5 hours;
Total: 15 hours
6 months old:
Night: 12 hours;
Day: 2.25 hours - 2 naps, 1 of 1 hour and 1 of 1.25 hours;
Total: 14.5 hours
I definitely think you should put him to bed earlier. It looks like he is getting overtired, and then unable to fall asleep because of it. Also, if I'm counting right, he's getting too much day sleep and awake more at night.
Check me:
From 7am till bedtime:
7-8:10
8:20-10
11-12:30
2:10-3:40
5-5:30
That looks like about 6 hours day sleep. I'm estimating. ?
What I'd do is try to get him to sleep less during the day, and more at night. Maybe you could stretch his A time from 1 hour to 1 hour 15 or 20 min (just be careful not to push too much or he will get overtired). Do low key things. Let him sleep 1.5 hour at a time during the day and wake him up. Make sure he is in well lit places when he is awake during the day, preferably natural light.
I want to write you more, but I have to get ready for work. There are sample EASY schedules on the website. I'll see if I can find them for you. Let me know what you think.
Hope this helps a little at least.
Brooke :)
-
Thank you very much for your reply :)
Thanks for the guidelines.I'll try to extend his activity time. Your advice about the natural light is also very helpfull.
Yestarday I thought that my son has his 'day hours' from 9.00 or 10.00 o'clock bc when I'm trying to have A time before he is always very sleepy, so I decided to make his 'day' from 9am-9pm and then move gradually to 7.What do you think? You're right that we should try to put him to bed earlier but when we've tried to make his bedtime at 7.00 he always screems...yes, and he is getting overtired but at the end he is always asleep at 9.
Sometimes I think he is ready for 4hr EASY with E, but not with the A time.
I've seen the EASY schedules on the website.
The PU/PD moderator said that he is too young for PU/PD and that at this age, nightwakings are common and feedings at night are expected.
-
Hi there! I'm glad you got some advice that helped! :) I do think that you should gradually move his day, just by waking him maybe 15 min earlier and putting him to bed 15 min earlier every 3 days. Even 8:00 is ok, don't you think? That might not be too hard to get to.
In BWSAYP it shows a gradual move towards a 4 hour easy. I think I started when Collin was almost 4 months.
Collin did wake a lot at night at that age too. It was hard. It gets better, though! :)
-
hi this thread is brilliant! i had my first baby and he is 7 months old n does not sleep thru the night. i have tired everything as well and nothing works - surprise surprise!!
the annoying thing is that he does not want a feed he just wants to be held!! i get so tired and am always angry n that in return annoys me more.... just hope it gets better. any help would be welcome.
-
we are going crazy. our 12-week-old DD used to wake up once a night. but for the last couple of nights, she has been waking from 2-5 times a night. it is 6 AM and after going down at 7:45 PM, she woke at 9, 12, 1, 3, and 5. I started doing dreamfeeds a couple weeks ago, but maybe they are doing more harm than good? we also thought when it happened a couple nights ago, it was becuase she was overtired, but I'm not sure if that could explain tonite.
my baby is also a habitual 45-minute-napper during the day. a typical day for us at home looks something like this:
W: 7:30 AM (between 1 and 7:30 W)
E: a total of 3-4 oz (some EBM some Formula)
S: 8:50 - 10:55 (almost 2 hour nap, which I woke her from)
E: a total of about 4 oz (some EBM some Formula)
S: 12:25 - 1:10 (45 minute nap after trying w2s at 1:02)
E: a total of 3-4 oz (some EBM some Formula)
S: 2:30 - 3:10 (40 minute nap after trying w2s at 3:05)
E: about 3 oz (some EBM some Formula)
S: 4:30 - 5:15 (45 minute nap)
E and A (bathtime, read story)
S: 6:45 PM (bedtime usually ends up around 7-7:30, depending on how her day pans out)
we have been struggling with 45-minute naps for a while, and for the last couple weeks we have been extending her awake time from one hour to between 1.25 hours and 1.5 hours. and we have been trying to gently wake her into light sleep (w2s) around the 35-40 minute mark.
my husband and I can't be getting only 4-4.5 hours of broken up sleep anymore. he has to work and I can't get naps in when she is taking such short naps during the day.
I'm not sure that she eats enough, but she won't really eat anymore during the day (I try). but at night, when she wakes up so often, she doesn't usually eat much.
we are going crazy trying to figure out what it could be. I'm tempted to try cutting out sugar from my diet, to see if that has any effect (for some strange reason), because I have a major sweet tooth.
--tara
-
Tara-sounds soooo familiar. We struggled a LOT around that time. Could it be a GS? I know DS started walking much more at night around that time b/c of growth spurt. The 45 min nap are either: overtired or not tired enough. I see you tried extending A time. If that's not working, how about cutting back a bit? With so many nws, she's not getting good restful night sleep, so maybe she can't handle as much during the day?
I wish I could remember what our A times were at that age. I see w2s isn't working for you, but how long have you been trying? We had to do it for several weeks to figure out just exactly when and how much rousing, etc. Do you know exactly when she falls asleep, or are you judging based on when you put her down? I used to hide in the room where he couldn't see me and observe till he was asleep, then start my clock. I had to mess around with times but finally ended up with 34 min. That still works for us today and we've had to use it several more times. Each lo's sleep cycle is a little different, so mess around with that time a little. When that failed, I usually did pat/shh with DS until he fell back asleep. Really had to just stay with him till he kicked the habit of 45 min naps.
I know what you mean about can't nap when he naps b/c they are so short! That's the worst. I remember feeling totally helpless and exhausted. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, though that probably doesn't make you feel all that much better. {HUGS} I know it's tough!
-
thank you, Sarah, for your post! I actually gave up on w2s after about a week. it didn't seem even CLOSE to working, so I decided to just more-or-less give up on EASY all together. *sigh* it's getting too frustrating, feeling like everyone else can get their baby on a 3 hour EASY with no problem, but I can't do that with mine.
anyway, she wakes content and happy from her naps. and for two of the last three days, she has taken two long naps instead of just one! so maybe progress is being made. for the last three nights, she also only woke up 1-2 times. two of these times, she was awake for 2.5-3.5 hours (!) in the evening before bedtime, which we obviously didn't mean to do (and one time was with grandparent's babysitting).
so maybe things are improving. at least I can hope so. thank you for your support, Sarah.
--tara
-
Tara-
Although I might get kicked out of here for saying this ;) sometimes you just have to ditch easy for a while. It made me insane trying to tweak, adjust, p/s, w2s, A time, etc etc etc and I was going mad because nothing worked, he was still taking short naps and having nws. Made me feel like a failure b/c I had done everything the book said to do, but still no success. I took a serious bw break too, b/c I was so frustrated. I kept him on the general EASY, so things fell in that order but did not follow a set time, and I didn't re-develop any AP (nursing to sleep, etc). I had to live a little, b/c I was never getting out and was paranoid about sleep, I'd lie in bed worrying about when he'd wake next, rather than sleeping. Anyway, all I'm trying to say (in a really long-winded way) is that sometimes you need a break....when we did that and DS would have a short nap day, we'd go out---anywhere---just to pass the time for him and get me out of the house and stop thinking about it. Don't be too hard on yourself, b/c I'm still convinced there are just some babies pre-programmed to be poor sleepers!
I'm sure she picks up on your anxiety about it all...so lightening up on the routine may just do you both some good..... Hang in there! {HUGS}
-
Tara, I completely agree with PP. Sometimes everyone just needs a break.
When my DS (who is now 15 months and STILL does not sleep through the night...) was about 8 mos old, he woke every 45 minutes in the night for TWO MONTHS. I almost lost my mind, and my marraige was suffering!
I found a new book: Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution, which is 98% what Tracy would call AP, but it gave me the "permission" I needed to do whatever I had to to get some rest. Once I was more rested, things settled with DS, and I was able to try EASY again.
There are many on this board who would say don't give up - but I'll be the first to say do whatever FEELS right for you and your family!!! ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) to you all!
-
My lo started sleeping long 6-8 hr stretches around 3 mo, and about a week ago she got a nasty cold. Ever since then, she has been waking every 1 1/2 to 2 hours at night. Has anyone had experience with this at all? I am hoping she will go back to normal after she gets well, or do you think I will have to work at getting her sleeping longer stretches? I hope this makes sense!
-
We're going through the same thing - well similar with our 15 month old. He had been doing realy well, sleeping long stretches, and even sleeping all the way through 3 times a week or so, but now he has a cold. Sunday he was up from 1-4am. Monday and Tuesday he was up 6-8 times, and last night he was up every hour from bed time till 6:30. It's really hard when you get used to better sleep, and then it all goes to pot!
She should go back to sleeping nicely again once she's feeling better, so long as you don't become a prop for her in the meantime. And if you do - you know you can always help her with independent sleep after she is back to her old self again! :)
-
MDHmommy and Sarah....thank you so much! you've made me feel better about taking a break. I of course wish we could be on EASY just like the book says, but that's not working right now. I dont' feel as guilty, now, reading your comments. so thanks. I'll just hang in there best I can for now! *hugs*
--tara
-
Have you tried swaddling again? My son just turned 4 months and we started swaddling him (again after stopping early on) at about 2 months and found this extended his naps to the hour and a half or two hour length. Just a thought. Good luck!
-
I know we tried swaddling again, and ours is about 4 mo as well, but we must have a very active lo, cuz she is always completely uncovered and sometimes moved all across her crib and shoved herself into the corner!
-
oh ladies, i too am joining the up and down all night club...and no matter what i have done or try to do, he just cannot get the idea that a full night sleep is lovely for him!! ::) and us :'( :'( anyhow, around the time i had fin, many other friends/neighbours were pregnant at the same time and guess what?.... they all sleep thru, some for 14 hour nights it totally winds me up and i too feel like a failure!!...it's like a recipie isn't it? if it says turn around 3 times, burp twice and stand on your head, we would do it, all for a slice of all-night-pie!! ;D ;D...i'm think i'm delirious tonight, last night was a bad 'un. *sigh*...i live in hope like the rest of you :-*
-
I think I can join this club although my DD is not that bad.... She started sleeping 10 hr stretches when she was 2 months old... When i started back to work she started waking up 2-3 times a night again... Its very frustrating when you are used to getting tons of sleep and then it changes.. Around that time she also started the 45 min naps and refuses to go back to sleep, w2s doesn't work and patting just makes her mad... Lately she has done better.. She goes to bed at 730, wakes briefly at 330( patting/shhing) puts her back down in mins and then up again at 530 to eat, then back to sleep for another 2-3 hrs... She just got her 4 mon shots and has been waking up 5-6 times a night.. did any one else have this problem? do they grow out of the 45 min naps?
-
Some say after 6 mo they sort out 45 min naps on their own, but it wasn't our case. We still deal with it when DS is either not tired enough, or too tired. I'd post yoru routine on teh EASY board and see if anyone can help you refine it a bit, make sure she's getting the right amt of A time, etc. Can make all teh difference on the naps, and maybe the nws too.
I woudl expect 1 maybe 2 nights to be affected by the shots, but no more.
-
i have tried anywhere fr 1 hr 45 min to 2 hrs A time and nothing changed with naps... last night she was in bed at 730 woke up at 0100, fed her and back to sleep... woke up a 5 and put herself back to sleep and then up at 6 to eat.. back to sleep and up at 730 for day... any suggestions.... and she also wakes up 45 min after i put her down for the night also... how to i get her to stop doing that.. She goes to bed drowsy but awake and I can pat her to sleep... how come she is not better and putting herself back to sleep after the 45 min waking and during the night?
-
Hi there,
I just wanted to drop back in and say hello. I haven't even read any of the recent posts yet, but it's been a while since I was here. Goodness, I cannot believe that we can't zap these night wakings. Our new trend is to wake sometime after 2:30 and not go back to sleep for an hour and a half. It's awful. He has wakings earlier too, but goes to sleep quickly then. I am pretty sure this is all due to being overtired. That has been our issue since as long as I can remember with him.
Oh well, I just wanted to say hello.
:-*
Brooke
-
DD had a pretty good night last night.. I put her to bed earlier 700 instead of 730 because she kept falling asleep at her nighttime bottle and I had to struggle to keep her awake to finish it... but she went down easily... She only woke up at 300 and I fed her and she went back to sleep with no problem and didn't wake up until 730 this morning... I consider that good saying that she is 4 months old... i do have a question.. I put my DD to bed drowsy but awake and pat her but she always wakes up 45 min later (like it is a nap) I can pat her back to sleep and then she might wake up 1-2 more times until she is down for the night.. How can I stop these wakings.. She always sleeps in her crib and always awake when down for the night but she never soothes herself back to sleep at this time... What can I do?
-
hey stheo! I'm waiting for my 3-month-old to grow out of her 45-minute naps as well! on bad nights, like last night, we have had her waking 45-60 minutes after us putting her down. I think it is worse when we don't do her normal night routine (like if we have compnay, etc). do you have a bedtime routine for your little darling?
-
we do have a routine ..... read a book, bath, pj's, bottle and cuddle... she still wakes up 45 min after we put her down no matter what..... dont know how to get her out of it..
-
I put my DD to sleep drowsy but awake and pat her back and she drifts off to sleep... At the 45 min mark she wakes up and if she doesn't put herself back to sleep ( which she never does) I go and pat/shh her... I used to only have to do that once.... here the past 2 weeks I have to go in and pat/shh her 3-4 times.... She goes to sleep... I leave... 5 min later she wakes up... I pat/shhh she goes to sleep and so on... What is going on and how do i stop it... She is 4 months old... We have a routine and in bed by 7-730... She takes only 45 min naps in the day ( which we are working on) but she has done that for 1mon and it usually doesn't affect her nighttime sleep.. On a good night she wakes up anywhere fr 4-5 .... eats and back down until 730 -8.. Any advice?
-
ok i am desperate...... i extended dd naps today by 1hr 15 by rocking and putting down in crib drowsy.... after last nap A time about 3 hr before bed.... put to bed at 700 ....she was falling asleep at bottle, put in crib and roused her slightly to let her know she was in crib..... 45 min later shes awake... not resettling so i go in and pat/shh... she falls asleep then wakes up again 10 mins later.... i go in pat/shhh.... this goes on for 1hr 45 min.... i still dont know if she is down for the night yet and it is 915.... was she overtired? i had her in a sleep sac and took that off thinking maybe she was hot! how do I get her to stop waking up so much after I put her down? I know she can soothe herself back to sleep bc she did it this morning, but she never does when going to down at first of the night..... very frustrated... any help greatly appreciated.
-
Glad to see I'm not alone. I know that at 15 weeks my LO is still quite young, but I am exhausted! He is waking between 2 and 6 times a night. He puts himself to sleep easily at 6.30pm (can't stretch him much longer than that at the moment) and sleeps until 2ish with a dream feed of 7oz at 11. He then wakes every hour until 7. He doesn't often cry, just fusses or yells, getting louder and louder until I go in. I've tried ignoring it but he'll keep going for ages (20 minutes at 4o'clock this morning). I now can't get back to sleep very easily in between so I've been awake sine 2am (it's now 5am). My newest theory was that his room's too cold so I put a small heater in there last night. I am still swaddling him because he seemed to wake more unswaddled but he was getting his arms out and his hands were freezing. So tonight, despite a heater keeping the room warm and a new swaddling technique which means he is completely trapped, he has woken at 2:00, 3:00, 4:00 and 4:30. I will put the pacifier in and he goes straight back to sleep. Strangely, he does not need to use the pacifier to go to sleep at 6.30 and doesn't actually seem to like it that much. He hasn't fed at night for 2 weeks. I realised that I was feeding him when he cried out but he was throwing up most of it and fussing a lot. He also started cutting 2oz off every feed during the day rather than dropping one whole feed so one night I just put his pacifier in at 2am and he went straight back to sleep and slept another 5 hours. Since then he's upped the day feeds back to 7oz and only fed at 5am once however he's waking more (I think ... I can't really remember past 2 weeks ago now)! Anybody got any ideas? Do I need to go back to giving him a couple of oz when he first wakes to see if that helps? Do I just need to buck up and deal with it? There he goes again (5.20) so must go ... Help!
-
Last night, I must have been really tired cuz I think it took me a while to wake to her yells. They weren't quite cries by the time I got up, and weren't constant. I stumbled into the kitchen and fixed a bottle, and by the time I got to her crib, she was back asleep! Hooray! I tried to let her do it again later on in the morning, but it didni't work. Maybe she is on the way to being a better self soother!
-
Help me! My daughter is almost 9 months old and since she started teething at about four months I haven't slept. She wakes most nights every 1.5 to 2 hours. I have tried everything. I pick her up she falls asleep, put her down she wakes up. This goes on anywhere from 10 minutes to 1 hour. My husband sleeps because he works and she won't calm with him in the night.
-
My LO is almost 6 months and still not sleeping through the night. At 3 months, he slept through the night for almost 2 weeks and stopped. I am trying everything that I possibly can and always open to suggestions. My LO does not get the dreamfeed, but thinking of starting it. My concern is to start something that I should be stopping in next month.
-
I've been lurking for awhile now and thank you for all your suggestions. One of which I read said she stopped naps during the day. I think tomorrow I will try to eliminate her early evening (4-5:30) nap and see if that helps. I have been cluster/dream feeding her at 8, 10 and then one last before I go to bed at 12:30, but she always wakes at 3am. I tried to give her a paci last night to see if she would take that...she instantly woke up and was very upset with me. I tried for 20 minutes to have her take the paci, but wound up giving in and feeding her. She then slept until 6am...If I could just eliminate the 3am, I'd have close to 6 hours sleep...I'd be so very happy!! Haven't had that since my 2nd trimester with her!! BTW, Rachel is now 3 months old...and has been basically on EASY (minus the night time feedings) for about 2 weeks now.
-
:'( Hi there, I am at the end of my tether. My son is almost one and I have not had a full nights sleep since he was born. I am a single mum living with my 16 year old daughter in a two bedroom apartment so share my room with my son. I hear every single noise he makes through the night. I get up at least 5 or 6 times to rescue him from the crawling position with his head at the end of the cot going no where! He is extremely spirited and I feel exhausted. When my daughter is away I sleep in her room but am so tuned into his sounds that it doesn't make any difference. I feel so sleep deprived, catching up with an hour through the day here and there doesn't help. I don't look forward to going to bed at night as there are only scraps of sleep. Even through the day he is not a long sleeper. Help someone Please.(http://)
-
appearances,
hugs to you!!!!!!!! have you tried starting a new thread in night wakings? you would get more help there. not many people get on this thread.
thunderheart,
i had lots of trouble with ds having night wakings. we made it through with lots of advice from moms on this website.
could both of you post your routine of your lo? or start a new thread and i'll check there? let me know (here) if you do that. :)
not giving LOs naps during the day makes the problem worse. really! a 3 month old needs to sleep an hour or so after being awake max 1.5 hours.
-
appearances and thunderheart,
I don't know if you have looked, but you could join the birth club for the month your lo's were born. My club (Nov 2006) has been great cuz it seems as if all our lo's go through very similar things right about the same time, so we all discuss our problems and share stuff that might have worked for us for various things. just a thought
Good luck!
-
Thanks for this - it helps to know others go through it too. Will post new thread. My sister phoned last night and is coming to visit with her husband for a week. She is shunning me from the house, bringing her portable cot and taking over. WOW am so looking forward to it. Being a single mum is great but boy it takes it's toll with a spirited babe.
-
appearances,
will look for your post! awesome that your sister is coming. that will be such a nice break. so sweet of her.
-
Hi Texasmom,
thanks for you replies. I just posted under HELP single mum etc
It should be under new posts.
Thanks again
rachel :-\
-
Rachel,
I couldn't find it. What board did you post in? Night Wakings, General Sleep?
-
whoops, I am new to this, so I reposted it in the right area. (deleted the old) I put it under night wakings.
No wonder you couldn't find it! sorry.
Rachel
-
i can't believe i'm with u guys now :(
i was one of those moms who were ing most of you off by saying their babies sleep through the night. and my dd did almost from birth. up to last week or two, when she started waking up once, then twice, then more and more, and voila, today she woke about 5 or 6 times :'(. she has fallen asleep right after i gave her her soother, but awoke again and again throughout the night. she doesn't cry when she wakes, just fusses and kind of moans, but if i take that as a mantra cry and don't rush in, she will wake up for real. she also became difficult to fall asleep. usually i either hold her to sleep or put her to bed awake but drowsy. when i hold her to sleep, she will fuss a little, when i transfer her to her crib, but without opening her eyes and will keep sleeping. now she almost always wakes up and i need to hold her again or she will cry.
can our problems be milestone related? she doesn't seem teehing, although she does suck on her fingers a lot lately. maybe it's a paci dependency? but then again, it always has been here - she always needed her paci if she woke up at night. the thing is, she didn't wake nearly as much before!
gosh. it's only been a couple of rough days and i already feel a wreck. will i get used to sleep deprivation? i do too doubt my readiness for another child.
-
Your lo is only about a week older than mine, and the last week or so has been pure hell for sleep. Her naps have always been terrible, but lately she is waking up 3 or 4 times a night again. Sometimes goes back down with paci, sometimes she wants to eat. I am really starting to regret the paci, cuz when I try and get her down and she is almost asleep and take the binky, she starts to act like its a drug. I think it has made it so she can't just go back down w/o it in the night. I hope it is developmental, and from my birth club, it sounds like many are doing the same thing, so it sounds like it. What I have noticed though, is whatever changes happen, good or bad, they only seem to last a few days, so this should probably get better soon.
I actually told dh last night that I am way more nervous for our next one than I was for this one...
Good luck!
-
good luck you too!
do you do the BW routine during the day? because i don't yet and i thought that might be part of the problem.
are you planning on weaning her from binky?
-
Hi to both of you. Night wakings are HARD! Hugs to you.
If things don't improve or you want to get some advice now, you could start a thread in night wakings. OR you can post here. Fewer people read this thread. DS had night wakings... sometimes every hour! URG! In our case, there was a reason, and I had to figure it out, but I got lots of great advice.
Whether you post here or in night wakings, posting your routine or a few typical days would help.
Let me know if you decide to start a new thread in Night Wakings.
:-*
-
i just started really reading the forums this week as I am reaching breaking point with my dd and it has been such a relief to relate to so many people. my mother's group are no help, they are all keeping up appearances. I was one of those mum's who bragged about our dd sleeping through from 6 wks and i really didn't get how it was so hard to manage babies - i thought i had it all together and got complacent.
now my daughter is:
sleeping in our bed, addicted to the paci, taking a night feed, and not wanting to go to bed until 11pm.
I am glad that this has happened now that she is still young (6 months) but it's really hard to not have sleep - my husband slept on the floor last night, which was really hard. i don't have any patience, i feel as though my dd is rejecting me in my attempts to sooth her and that's tough.
it's a constant balancing of feeling guilty about possibly not trying hard enough (i'm so tired that i can't manage taking her to her cot when she's asleep or standing with her to put her to sleep) and then feeling frustrated that things aren't like they used to be.
-
Hi there,
I'm sorry things are going so badly. Do you have the book by Tracy, The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems? It was a miracle book for me. The book has great tools to help your little one to sleep.
To start with, could you post what a typical day looks like for you guys?
For example:
Wake 7:00
Bottle 7:00
Solids 8:30
Nap 9:30-11
Asleep for the night 11:00
etc...
I'm happy to help if you'd like some...
In the meantime, hang in there. It really will get better.
:-*
Brooke
-
My lack of sleep is affecting my marriage.
I'm so exhausted in so many ways.
I am so glad I am not alone......I feel like I have no energy for anything else in life.
Thank you for posting a thread on this..I felt like I as a mother am doing something wrong. My son won't sleep....he is up now every hour or so after a two hour stretch and I am not sure if he is teething (still not tooth in sight), ill, anxiety, etc. I heard at six months babies start to get separation anxiety.....I don't know what it is, I just hope and pray it isn't like this forever.
-
Lorelei, we are on a very shaky 3 hr. I can't seem to get her too sleep longer than 45 min, so it turns into 3 hr. HECK NO, I don't dare try to wean binky yet. I am too much of a wuss I think!
Erica, you aren't doing anything wrong, I agree that this site is such a great find, it has been my lifesaver for me.
Babyshamble, and really everyone, I have recently decided to relax quite a bit on trying to change and create a 4 hr easy just yet. I have become much more relaxed and enjoy her much more now, so that is our plan as of yet.
The one thing that has stayed constant since my lo was born is that NOTHING stays constant. One day she sleeps 13 hrs straight, the next she is up every 3 hours, etc. If I can just come to terms that I cannot control every aspect of my life anymore, I think it will be ok. Sorry to sound preachy, but I about lost my mind last week trying too hard and feeling guilty, frustrated, angry... and I just can't keep going on that way anymore!
BTW, we are up every 4 hours the last few nights, but she usually goes right back down, so can't complain too much.
Good luck all, and here's too all of us getting some much needed (and deserved) zzz's!
Anissa
-
well, things are getting a little bit better for us - E is still only sleeping at 11 and then waking at 5am but she is settling almost immediately - thank goodness! Although, we started giving her a formula dream feed. i think that maybe she was just really hungry because she wolfed the whole bottle down!
I have read BW back to front so many times. i love that book! But, I am finding this forum so helpful because there are so many people to relate to. We are on a 4 hour EASY and she naps really well, 1.5 hr and 2 hrs in the day.
[img width= height= alt=Lilypie 1st Birthday Pic" width="100" height="80" border="0]http://lilypie.com/pic/070417/v06b.jpg[/img][img width= height= alt=Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker" border="0" width="400" height="80]http://b1.lilypie.com/RZZtp10.png[/img]
-
Hi, I'm so glad I found this thread. I thought I was alone with my lo night wakings. There is nothing more fustrating then having all your friends tell you how their babies have been sleeping through the night from a couple months on. My lo is 4 months now and I consider it a good night when he makes it 3 to 4 hours at a time. The last couple of weeks he's been up every hour on the hour until I get so fustrated and exhausted that by about 4am I bring him to bed with me and breastfeed him there so I can get to sleep. I know this isn't helping matters and I think it probably makes it worse, but I am just so tired it's the only way I can get a couple hours of uninterupted sleep.
We are working on a slightly flexible 4 hour EASY(if I can get him to sleep in a little I will, so the times vary). We are also dealing with the 45min nap monster right now, but I can usually extend the naps to 1 1/2 hour with pat/shhh(usually). I try to have him in bed between 7:30 and 8, and he used to sleep about 4 hours but these last couple of weeks he's been up by about 9:30 or 10 and then hourly after that. I really hope this is some sort of phase as I really miss the 4 hour stretches of sleep(never thought I'd say that).
Anyways, glad to know I'm not alone.
-
Hi Branson's Mom - i guess we just have to remember that there is always another baby and mum that is having a harder time then us and then think of our situation as temporary. everytime i look on the boards i get a wake up call that my problem has only been for a month and not to feel so sorry for myself - that said, today is a particularly grumpy day. I think that hardest part is that I have NO idea of what Eden wants! She suddenly just doesn't want to sleep, is sooo happy in the day and then at night it's a struggle. I am now looking into having a stay at a 'sleep house' in my area so that someone else can witness this - sometimes i feel as though it's all in my head. =) Stay strong, you are such a brilliant mum for sticking it through and providing Bronson with cuddles and milk after staying up and struggling until 4am!
-
Hi Its great to read of others suffering lack of sleep too. I have told myself that I will sleep when Eve is 5! She is only 5 months now!!!!! :o Anyway...how long do you think it is reasonable to shh/pat for at each night waking????
-
Nikita wakes about every two hours. >:( He is three months. Thank you for this thread I was beginning to think that I was doing something wrong. Well I will hang in there then. ;)
-
Hi Juz, well from my experience I was sush/patting again and again and as soon as she fell asleep and I stopped she would be up again. I stopped doing the sush/pat as I read in BW that at about 6 months it can be too stimulating, and surprise surprise she has responded really well to me just having my hand on her head, or her cheek. I usually try to mimic what it's like when she is lying next to me in bed (is this bad?) as she really likes to snuggle and I think feels lonely in her big cot!
That said, this has only worked for about 3 nights so who knows. The hard thing is the guessing game - I can't believe I spend almost two months struggling to make Eden sleep at 7pm when she was becoming worked up with what I was doing. And i'm so glad that now i know not to respond to her every sound - i was jumping at the first peep, what a mistake that was.
I still look back on the first five months and wish for that quiet and easily sleepy baby - but i think that Eden's problem is that she is hungry, I can't think of any other explanation. she sleeps so perfectly in the day and then at about 3am she takes a full feed.
It's hard work, this mothering stuff!
-
I am so incredibly thankful that I found this message board! I have a 5 year old son who had his days and nights mixed up for the first month or so when he was a newborn (like most of them do). He worked that out BUT did not sleep through the night until he was 11 months old. Now, I have a 6 week old daughter who is SO different from my son. I cannot get her on any predictable or consistent sleeping (and napping) schedule no matter what I do!! >:( I have been writing down when she nurses, how long, when she sleeps, when she wakes up, etc. to see if there is a pattern. She is all over the place. Some days she wants to eat every 3 hours, some days its every 2 and then 3 and then back to 2. Some days she takes wonderful 3 hour naps (and I can actually take a shower, put makeup on and feel human) and other days (like today!) she won't sleep for longer than 1 hour at a time. Some nights she nurses and I put here in her crib and she sleeps soundly for 3-4 hours. Other nights she nurses and will not go back to sleep again for an hour or so and ONLY if i lay on the couch and hold her! >:( I feel so guilty because I feel like I am not enjoying her as much as I should and I don't feel like I have bonded with her like I should have. Sleep deprivation is the most difficult thing! My poor husband tries to understand, but unless he can wlak in my shoes for a couple of nights he really has no idea (and he can't walk in my shoes because he can't breastfeed her!)
Thank you everyone for all of the honesty in your messages. It is so awful feeling like you are so alone in these experiences and feelings.
-
I think this board may be a good place for me to hang out too if you don't mind. I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter, Zoë, who slept right through from 14 weeks and it was fantastic - I never thought that my new son Sam, 21 weeks tomorrow wouldn't do that too - how wrong I was!!! Like Zoë, he is breast fed and I've done everything pretty much the same but he is very different!!! I put him down at 7-7.30 after a feed (awake) and he is learning to settle himself and go to sleep but sometimes I have to go up to him and put my hand on him. Anyhow, the first stretch is the longest (he slept for 6 hours yesterday which was fantastic but normally it can be 4-5 hours if I'm lucky), but then he can easily go only 90 mins for the rest of the night. It's so hard because I don't want to disturb Zoë or my husband but it's always muggins who gets up to try and sort him out. My next plan is to get some earplugs for the others and do PUPD if he's awake before 3 hours as he's such a greedy little snacker who thinks he can have his own way all the time!!!! I suffer from PND and have to say the sleep deprivation is so hard right now, but I manage to keep soldiering on.
It definitely is hard work, this mothering stuff!!
Ali
-
i heard that sleep deprivation is actually used as a form of torture so i definitely understand how sleepless nights can fracture emotional and family wellbeing. i can't believe how two babies can be so different within the same family (i'm a bit scared to have a second =) ). I noticed that when Eden has her sleepless 1.5months i felt like a different person and it brought back the depression that i experienced last year. I guess because when you are depressed you feel tired, lonely, and hopeless and that's exactly how i feel when I don't know how to handle Eden, when I'm up at night with her, and when I know that it's only going to be a couple of hours sleep. The problem that we are having now is that we literally can't go out when it's her night bedtime. she falls asleep fine when we are out but bringing her back into the house wakes her right up and then it's all over until her 'dream feed'. I cannot believe how everyone is coping with two kids and sleepless night - i am in awe, and i really hope that you guys are getting some appreciation. lately i have been giving Eden to my mum on a Friday which has made me feel a lot better. But at the bottom of my heart there's still a twinge of 'why can't she just.....' or 'what am i doing wrong...' which should be 'i'm so proud that i have taught her to sleep in the day' or 'i'm so happy that we have a happy baby in the day'.
-
I guess I better jump on this board too! Ds is 10mo a few days & has only slept through about 5 times. We have had improvement in the last couple months from 4-5 times down to 1 or 2. I hate being tired all the time. I feel used up when dh gets home from work every day. Our problem lately is a habit waking at about the same time each night. I'm going to try wake 2 sleep & hope for the best! So nice to know I'm not the only one.....my good friend here w/a sleep all night dd just keeps asking when I'm going to let him cio-we just can't bear the thought of that!
-
I belong in this post sooooo badly....My ds is 6 months old and he has only slept through a handful of times. He has reflux but is on meds and is a happy spitter. He still wakes at 3, 4 or 5:00 and now he is in the habit of getting food, so I am sure this will continue for a while. I have tried CIO but he likes to just keep it up or talk until the sun comes up. Maybe I am putting him to bed too late (8-8:30) and I read at the beginning of these posts someone said something about discovering the 7:00 bedtime. Should I try this? My dd is 3 and she is still an AWESOME sleeper. Although she does wake on occassion from my ds and everything echoes with the hardwood floors! Any advice??? :'(
-
Ohhh...we have the hardwood floor problem too. Just put them in right before ds was born & now I think, what's wrong with wall to wall carpet ;D
I would give the earlier bedtime a go, I'm a big fan! Not that he sleeps through or anything, but it helps him from getting too overtired, which I find causes all sorts of sleep issues! The other night he was down by 6:30 & only woke once.
-
Hoping we're moving off the night time wakings quite so much as this last few days have started to switch from breast feeding to formula feeding as his weight gain wasn't great. He does seem settled and, although waking up still a bit, is much better than every 90 minutes. I know this can all go horribly wrong again, but at least I'm starting to feel a bit more human!
-
Hi all:
Thanks so much for these postings! I too have a DS who does not sleep through the night. He has just turned 5 months old and the amount of wakings seem to be getting more, not less. He has had a few nights were he has slept 4 hours or more, but lately it's been between 2 hours and about 3.5 hours. Then, once it hits either 4 or 5 am, the wakings become more frequent.
I started some sleep training last Monday (wake-to-sleep, pu/pd) but no big changes yet. I do see slight changes in his napping though (he was typically a 30 minute napper, but his naps do seem to be lengthening a little). Lately I have been blaming the paci and wondering if we should wean him from the paci (he only has it when falling asleep in his crib for naps and bed). But I do know that many children use pacis and don't have an issue with sleep. So pacis aren't necessarily the problem - but perhaps for my DS, it doesn't help. I don't know, I have been trying to find a solution for some time. I am actually taking him to be assessed by a chiropractor this week - he does seem to have gas issues sometimes so perhaps this causes him to wake up too? I don't know - I'll try almost anything at this point!
And I too have friends who have LO's that sleep through the night! I'm glad for them, but then wonder what I am doing wrong (like many of you have said).
Again, thanks for these posting - I continue to welcome the success stories - it'll help me know that there is some hope for me and my DS after all!
-
Hi ladies, just wanted to add hugs and support to those who are still up while the sun sleeps. :-* If you have specific questions be sure to post in the main board.
Myia
-
Almost scared to write this, but I think I can move from here now. Sam is on formula and almost all the time now, after his 10.45 DF, he sleeps through to just past 6. He may wake up a few times and chunter away but nothing that I need to respond to.
So there is hope for all of us. OK, naps are still pants, but at least the night time is much more bearable.
Hang in there!!!
Ali
-
Congratulations Ali! Cheers!
-
Wow, It's nice to hear that I'm not alone. My daughter used to sleep about 5-6 hrs feed then about 5 more. Now at 7 and a half months she will sleep for about 3-4 hrs. then is awake every 30-60 mins if I'm lucky. She's not hungry because it seems as soon as I touch her she is back to sleep. By 2 am I'm so tired I usually end up brining her to bed with me because I have to get up for work. Help any ideas?
-
I'm new to the boards and came on looking for help with exactly the same scenario that is mentioned by aepegp! My son is 6 months old and has never slept through the night. Although he always sleeps from 7:30ish to about midnight (sometimes with a dreamfeed around 10pm sometimes he rejects it). Then its every 20, maybe 40 minutes and he's up. He, too, will go back to sleep if I go in and rub his back briefly. This goes on all night and then he is up at 6am for the day and takes 2 2hour naps on schedule. If the problem is not a prop and he is able to put himself back to sleep (for naps and early evenings) why not between midnight and 6am? Help!
-
I need some help!! My dd keeps waking every 2-3 hours at night. Then it takes an hour to get her back to sleep. What can I do? I usually feed her but if she's not hungry I do the sshh/pat and walking with her and it will take a very long time. She barely sleeps 7 hours at night and not straight. She won't sleep past 6am unless I hold her, which I do cause she's super tired still. We get her in bed between 8-8:30pm, on a good day when she's cooperative. Last night she went down at 8:30, woke at 12, took till 1 to fall asleep, woke at 3, took till 4:15 to fall asleep, woke at 6 and that's when I held her till 7:30 so she could sleep more. I don't know what to do!
-
Nice thread. I share everyone's frustration and exhaustion! My son is 10 months and has never slept through the night. He has never slept longer than 4 hours...ever! He had colic for 4 months where he did nothing but scream all day. He was calm and sleeping at night with 3-4 wakeups. At the time I thought this was good because it could only get better from there, right? It just got worse.
My son is very spirited. Even after colic and when we established a consistent routine he would fight sleep. He'd start screaming and fussing as soon as we entered his bedroom. He never slept longer than 30-45 minutes until he was 6 months and it wasn't until 8 months that I could actually put him down in his crib without waking 15 minutes later. I did shh/pat and pupd as he got older, but in my sleep-deprived state I could never maintain it. And there was no one around to assist my husband and me. I get horrible migraines from lack of sleep, so it was just easier to resort to holding him to get us both back to sleep the fastest.
My son now sleeps about 3-4 hours and then wakes 1-2 hours after that. I still have him in a crib next to my bed. Any steps I take with getting him to sleep better will have to be slow and gradual. Soon I plan to not nurse him back to sleep anymore, but I'll continue to hold and comfort him. Once he's night weaned I'll figure out how to get him to sleep alone and in his own room. Small steps seem to work better for us than jumping right into pu/pd.
There was one night I got 3.5 hours of sleep and I couldn't fall back asleep after he woke up. It's as if my body is telling me that's enough sleep. So I lay awake for several hours. I have no idea what a good night's sleep is anymore. I know this will pass eventually, but it's so difficult right now.
Thanks for letting me vent! Good luck to all. -JJ
-
JJ, lack of sleep is a terrible thing. If there is anything you think we can help with in NW post and we will take a look. You are right, it won't last forever, all too soon you will be forcing him out of bed to mow the lawn. ;)
-
MomofClaire - thanks for the message. We've been living away from home for about 2 months and will get back home in 2 weeks. I plan to make some changes then. We're not exactly on EASY, so I had sort of refrained from posting much. I can BF and then put him at my side where he'll fall asleep so I know he's capable of sleeping without nursing down. I just have so much to contend with: early wakings, night wakings, overtiredness, being swaddled still. It's overwhelming. He revs pretty high too...has never fallen asleep in a carseat, stroller, swing, sling, etc. He's just hard to put to sleep...period!! Anyway, you'll probably hear from me again soon. I need all the support I can get! Thanks!
-
I don't know if this will be much help, because I know how all babies are different. when my DD was, oh, 4 or 5 months old, we knew she could sleep through the night just fine, even though she would still wake up once or twice sometimes. so my husband convinced me to let her put herself back to sleep. so we basically let her cry, sometimes peeking in on her to make sure she was okay, and after two nights of this, she learned to put herself back to sleep and has slept through the night ever since (she is 9-months-old now). it worked great for us, but I know it may not be right for everyone.
I know it's hard, so good luck to you all!
-
:(
We've been having a nightmare with molar teething and it seems to have changed our ds's sleep habits (even though the molars have been in for a week now)
Our ds was a fabulous sleeping (2 minutes patting at 9pm, wake up around 6) from 2 1/2 - 4 1/2 months. Then we moved to India, he got his first cold, he started getting teeth, started sitting, scooting & crawling - all in one month. It took about 3 months for him to sleep through the night again. He got pretty good and was doing really well (predictable 1-1.5 hour naps morning & afternoon, 7:30 bedtime and 6 or 6:30 wake-up). Unfortunately, now his sleep cycle is two short (an hour if I'm lucky) naps (after which he's happy and raring to go, so it's not that he needs more sleep then), 7:30 bedtime still works ok, but he wakes up a half a dozen times a night, and often can't be put back down after 4:30 or 5am! It was so nice to be able to sleep in until 6 -- any ideas how I can coax him to sleep later (or if he needs to?) He'll be 15 months old tomorrow..
Thanks a tonne!
Jenn
-
I need advice: my almost 9 month son... finally is doing incredible naps (2 hrs and an hour) but wakes all the time at night. Since two weeks ago, I´m not Bf him every time he wakes. Just at 2 am.... always the same time. I thought that if he realizes there´s no breast at night he wouldn´t wake up but it´s not helping.....
I´m not doing de PU/PD, I never started with that.
Thanks for yor coments.
Orli.
-
I HAVE DS, ISAIAH, WHO WILL TURN 6 MONTHS IN A WEEK. WE JUST STARTED ON EASY THIS WEEK, SO FAR WE'VE ONLY BEEN DOING IT DURING THE DAY, HOPING THAT A GOOD DAYTIME ROUTINE WOULD FIX HIS NIGHT WAKINGS (ANYWHERE FROM 1-2 TIMES A NIGHT TO UP EVERY 2 HRS). HE'S DOING WELL WITH NAPS, AND WE'RE WORKING CLOSE TO A 4 HOUR ROUTINE IN DAYTIME. ALSO, WE CO-SLEEP AND WOULD LIKE TO CONTINUE IF POSSIBLE. HE USES HIS CRIB FOR NAPS. PLEASE HELP WITH NIGHT WAKING. DS ALSO SEEMS TO BE DEVELOPING A BIT OF SEPARATION ANXIETY.
How old is your child? ALMOST 6 MONTHS
What’s his/her daily routine? 6 AM-WAKE AND BF, THEN PLAY IN EXERSAUCER
7-7:30 EAT CEREAL
8:30-9 NAP (1 HR)
10:00 BF, THEN PLAY OR RUN ERRANDS
12:00 LUNCH SOLIDS, THEN PLAY
12:30-1 NAP (1 1/2 - 2HRS)
3:00 BF, THEN PLAY/TAKE A WALK
5:00-5:30 SOLIDS, THEN PLAY
6:00-30-45 MIN CATNAP
7:30- BATH
8:00- BF, THEN WE DO PU/PD FOR BED.
Do you bottle or breastfed?? BF
How much? or how long? APPROX 10 MIN
If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed) ONE SIDE
How many wakes per night? VARIES 1-2 UP TO 4-5
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up? CRIES UNTIL FEED, THEN FEEDS 5 MIN, THEN CAN GO BACK TO SLEEP FAIRLY EASY (WE CO-SLEEP AND WOULD LIKE TO CONTINUE IF POSSIBLE)
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry? CRYING, THENM SCREAMING
What have you tried to settle?? GIVING PACI, PATTING, SHUSHING, BOTTLE OF WATER. NOTHING WORKS BUT BF
What do you do for A time and how long is it? PLAY, WALK, RUN ERRANDS, PRACTICE SITTING/CRAWLING. HE STAYS UP USUALLY 2-3 HRS.
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones? HAS SEEMED TO BE TEETHING FOR A WHILE, BUT NO TEETH YET. AM GIVING HOMEOPATHIC TEETHING REMEDY, TYLENOL, OR ORAGEL BRFORE BED.
Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months) YES 1 TIME A DAY APPROX 2 OZ.
Do they have a prop? If so what is it? PACI, WILL TAKE SOMETIMES
Do they have a lovie? NO
-
Hugs to you. I'd love to give advice but in the same boat (our lo is almost 13 mos.) she's never slept through the night and is usually up 4-6x per night. I feel for you - but you've picked a great group of people to help you figure out what to do - they're the best! ;) Wendee
-
Just wanted to say that this tread was extremely helpful and I feel much better knowing that I'm not alone! I laughed so hard reading everyone's comments that it brought me to tears!
-
Sami - when you think about it, you only have a few options, cry, go crazy, or laugh. ;) I definitely think laughing is probably the only thing that'll keep you sane - although at times I have cried my eyes out and I'm sure I'm probably crazy, too, I just don't know it! (Sleep deprivation will do that to ya - lol) Wendee
-
hi there. I'm in desperate need of some venting and support.
I'm Dana, mom to Hayden who will be 4 months next week and has been doing night wakings sporadically about every two hours for about two to three weeks now. He was doing very good before that, only waking once to feed.
He's always been a horrible (45 min if I'm lucky) napper and I've started to work on that more agressively hoping that that will help this problem.
I'm just so exhausted and discouraged lately, just need to introduce myself for when I vent tomorrow morning....... :D
Thanks!
Dana
-
Dana, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know how awful it is to be perpetually exhausted - not fun! I know that some of the others' that can help you better than me will ask you to post his schedule so they can try & pinpoint the problem. (((((Big Hugs))))) to you! Hope you get a little sleep. Wendee
-
HELP!!!
I have a six month old son who has got both reflux and a milk intolerance which means that feeding can be a bit stressful to say the least. Our main problem is that he will not sleep past 1am.
Naps are between 30- 60 mins approx 3 times daily
He is bathed every night and is in bed before 7.30 this routine has been in place since he was born.
While he is bottle fed due to his intolerance and reflux he is mainly on solids and therefore bottles are only 3 oz every 4 hours, though he feeds well on solids 4 times daily, with his formula mixed in to ensure that is intake is sufficient.
He is waking practically every hour from 1 am onwards. He is very grumy and becomes very agitated quickly and can be up for anything up to an hour and a halfat a time.
We have tried PU/PD, sush pat, giving water at night
Has been on solid foods since 13 weeks however our health visitor suggested introducing a supper of Readybrek at 10pm due to the lack of milk our lo was getting during the day.
He does have a dummy but this is attached to his PJs and he can easily find it at night.
Both me and my husband are lost, we know that he is not hungry as any bottle that has been offered to him only half an ounce is taken. He is warm and winded before he is put down but still wakes every night. We are past ourselves and dont know what to do.
-
((((((Big Hugs)))))). You came to the right place for answers, lots of people to help, I however am not sure on this one so will leave it up to someone with more knowledge & experience. I can sympathize though. :P be patient, someone will be here with wonderful advice pretty quickly. :) Wendee
-
Elaine - hugs to you! Sounds like quite a situation!
I can think of two places you should visit on this site for help - first - there is a thread that specifically addresses allergies - there are MANY lovely babywhisperers there who can help you with that issue. My thought is that you'll want to work out that he's not in any pain before you work on his routine and his sleep.
Then, after that - the E.A.S.Y. threads can help you to tweak your routine and get that little guy taking some decent naps and sleeping better at night.
Hang in there - you've come to a fantastic resource!!
-
Eliane - here is the allergy board: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=62.0 start there for tips on your LO.
-
Thank you, Kate - I knew someone would be of great help to Elaine! ;D Wendee
-
I do not know if you are swaddling but I found a blanket that works. My son is very large and the regular blankets ( the Miracle Blanket and everything else) was not working because he would squirm and kick himself out when he did wake at 2:00 and he could not put himself back to bed. I bought the Snug and Tug blanket.... www.sungandtug.com. And he slept through the night the first night and has been. I highly recommend it. They have two sizes (0-3 months and 3-6 months) and he can kick and move his legs and then out himself back to sleep. You can take arms out easily if he wants to suckle and he still cannot get out. He loves it. I highly recommend it.
-
Help!! We need sleep!! My DS has been waking up at night every hour for about 3 weeks now. I already posted in another tread in the NW forum, but so far there has been no improvement yet, if there is, it's very minor and only lasts for 1 day or 2 max. I know I have to be patient and I am normally quite patient, but being sleep deprived is definitely sucking all my patience supply. I need help. I need to vent!! I want to stop feeling resentment..I don't want to feel that way to my baby. I love him and I want to love him unconditionally, but I keep thinking about how much I'd love him more if he'd sleep through the night or better nap (he has the 30-45 min nap monster, too). I'm trying very hard to appreciate and focus more on his positive point (healthy, developing normally, cute, etc), but it is not easy. I've wondered quite a few times, how much of negative effect is it to put rum in his bottle, or feed him benadryl. :-[ Don't worry, I won't do that...very tempted though.. :-\ And I really wish Tracey is still alive, I would hire her in a heartbeat!! Is there anyone out there who has Tracey's talent and willing to help out? :) Sorry, if this all sounds very depressing....I just need to vent.
-
Hello fellow sleep deprived parents!!!
My twin boys are over 8 months old and have never slept through the night. They have been on EASY from Day 1 and although it worked a dream on my daughter (she slept through consistently from 5 months), they are a different story altogether. I suspect I made it worse by rushing in too soon in the early days, for fear that they'd wake each other up. I still have that fear and rightly so!! On the days we have left them to grumble a bit to see if they self-settle, they wake each other up and then the grumble quickly becomes two babies with full-blown foghorn cries that then wakes up Ella too. :'(
I've tried everything that I know of and have read, re-read and re-re-read Tracy's book. PU/PD just doesn't work with two babies in the same room and we have absolutely no way of separating them at night. We did the dreamfeed for 6 months and then wondered if that disturbed them so stopped for 2 months. No change. So we've put it back again now. I've done strict scheduling of feeds (I'm still breastfeeding) with no luck and I've done feed-on-demand to get as much milk into them during the daytime, with no luck. I've tried lengthening their daytime naps and shortening their daytime sleep. No effect.
They fall asleep on their own and naptime and bedtime. They use dummies/soothers but usually spit them out before their drop off. The only thing that will reliably settle them at night-time is boob. Sometimes I try to settle them without feeding, and I am sometimes successful. But invariably I then get called downstairs ten minutes later so I figure I might as well feed them when I'm first called!
I've been at my wit's end!!
But now I am resigned to having to get up for them up to 6 times a night between them. I end up feeding them back to sleep, which I know in itself sets up bad habits. But with three babies in the house, it's the best I can do!!
I'm not looking for answers anymore but it's great to find a support thread!! I'm just hoping that the day when they are developmentally ready to sleep through is just around the corner!
Hugs and sleep vibes to all!!
Vicky
x
-
Hugs Vicky. :-*
-
I am having serious problems with my eleven month old. I keep reading these messages but I can't seem to help him and myself. He wakes up so often!! is used to fall asleep while being breastfeed, and now is teething, took antibiotic for an ear infection and things are worse than ever. Please help, I can not even write longer as he woke up.
-
My guess is to check and see if the antibiotic possibly didn't work. Teething also can make them way cranky and wake constantly, I know as my 15 mo. old just went through this and I posted about it and got that advice. Teeth came through and the last week has been so much better. (((HUGS))) Wendee
-
I've sat here crying while i was reading your posts because now i don't feel quite so alone. i know that prob sound dramatic but i am so tired!! i blame myself for the bad habits i got him into for nap time but I'm going to try and rectify that from Monday. he's a 30 min napper unless he's up in my arms at which time he'll sleep for hours!
night time is a different story............ we are up and down to him every 30Min's to hour between 7 and 11. then every 2 hrs (sometimes more)from 11 to 4 and then he's awake and wants us in his room from 4-6. thens he's awake and ready for the day at 7. i feel like all i do everyday is try to get him to sleep. :'(
moan moan moan, just a bit overwhelmed today i guess. great to know that ye are out there
thanks
Fran
p.s my lo is 5 months
-
Oh, Fran, I hope you can get some sleep. Everything looks a little bit better when you're not exhausted. ((hugs)) Wendee
-
Fran,
Hang in there. Being sleep deprived is so hard. If you need specific help or ideas don't forget to post in NW and feel free to come here to vent or moan whenever you need to.
Myia
-
Fran....
I am right there with you!!! I just posted in easy/spirited 2 nites ago w/ a very simaler message. I go back 2 work in one week, and am freaking out about nite time sleeping. I swear Fri nite gave him DF at 1130, we were up starting at 1 about every 1/2 hour. He will fall back asleep, then i will, then wahh.... i know you all get the pix. I love my baby... but i love my sleep too!!! seriously... 5 hours at a stretch.... all i am asking 4 right now!!!!!!
Trish
-
Thanks guys, I've posted on night wakings board so am hoping to make some progress. Will keep you posted and thanks again x
-
I am so glad I've found this forum. I've already found some great ideas that I plan to attempt to see if we can solve our night waking problems. We've been going through an OK phase recently, with DD waking only once or twice a night, so I'm feeling not too bad. Our bad nights are terrible though, and as I suffer from insomnia myself it makes it even harder. It always seems to happen that just as I'm drifting off to sleep after lying awake for hours on end, she'll wake up and then I'll be awake for hours again. ::) It's very frustrating!! But I just wanted to say thanks for all the wonderful advice and tips and I look forward to spending a bit of time here.
-
do you often want to strangle mom's who brag their LO sleeps all night?
Oh yes I do!!!!
-
LOL - me 2!
-
i m new here and have only jus tgot the book!!so im trying avidly to read but too tired to tak eit all in..anybody poin tme in right direction before i tear my hair out..my ds [third baby so should know what im doing!!] is 4 months and feeds every two hours night and day..hes got suspected milk allergy/intolerance and were waiting to see hospital in jan for tests.. he hardly leeps during day..30 -45 min naps maybe twice a day and is incredibly active ..almost hyper in his behaviour!! he feeds but gets frustrated and cries while feeding ..breastfed mostly ..arches his back and cries then tries again and keeps repeating this throughout feed ..he s better on bottle but will do it less but has terrible wind problems and we had until recently terrible colic but drs are now agreeing with me thats its probably not colic and something else henc e the hospital appt.. he has eczema .. at night he feeds and although i do try to leave him to settle himself he gets frantic is absolutely ravenous..he will down a 6-7 oz bottle in 5 mins flat and the other day when he actually fell asleep for 3 1/2 hrs..amazing he woke and actually drank 9 oz of milk so hes obviously hungry..hes also a big baby as he was nearly 11 lb at birth and 60 cm long so straight into 3-6 month clothes..doyou think its jus thunger thats waking him or what ..im desperate as ive got twoothers to care for and im losing my patience with everybody..not me at lll normally..sleep deprivation is torture pure and simple!! sorry to hijack your thread but havent yet worked out how to start own thread yet...
-
You came to the right place - lots of wise helpful people here who will be able to point you in the right direction. I am sending ((((((((hugs))))))))) as I still have issues with my lo who is up 4-8x a night so don't feel in a position to give advice but trust me someone will be along quickly to help!!!! :-*
-
I thought I was the only one! It seems like every other women I meet has a baby who sleeps through the night and always has. My little guy is 5 months old. He is a chronic short napper and wakes up so many times at night, I have lost count. To make matters really awful, he wakes up for the day anywhere between 2 and 5 am! I am so sleep deprived, I don't know what to do some days. :'(
Dee
-
Oh Dee. Poor you! Try to remember that it won't last forever and one day you WILL get a full night's sleep again. My boys were TERRIBLE and then one day just before they were 10 months old, they suddenly started sleeping through. Not for any particular reason I can think of! They were just ready to sleep.
Sleep vibes to everybody.
Vicky
-
Any thoughts on why my nearly 2 y/o is waking every night?? She is getting new teeth throgh, but the waking been going on for months!!!
She does get trapped wind and that is sometimes why, isn't she too old for that??
DP and I are going crazy. We have moved away from my parents, so can't even get a night off!!
Gemma
P/s She whinging down the monitor now! :-[
-
Our son Harrison hasn't really slept properly thru the night since he was born in march 2006, we have tried everything that we can think of!!!! He rarely sleeps during the day and is only sleeping for a few hours at night before he wakes up again and then it takes hours for him to go back to sleep again.
Have any of you mums got any ideas that you think could help us we would be very gratefull
-
Hello neahnjas , I dont really have an answer for you, but I wanted to tell you that my son is exactly the same....I know it s no confort but still....I m still new at the forum but I m sure you will find suggestions :)
-
I am so reassured that there are so many other mums going through this. I am going back to work this month and have an 8 month old who finds life far too exciting to sleep and wakes 2-3 times in a night. My only reassurance is when I go back to work Ben goes to nursery so his day should be a lot more structured only time will tell. I'm going to be so tired :( however can it be worse then when he was first born I remind myself!
-
I've been posting on the short nap board, but looking for help for poor night sleep. lo is 13 wks but she was born 3 1/2 wks early. The first 8-9 wks we had no routine; fed her every 2 hrs day/night, and around 4 weeks she started with the evening/night cries, some lasted for hours. We tried everything; got better after the holidays. I started to sense a bit of a pattern in her day, although she wouldn't nap for more than 45 min. I thought that was normal but she was getting very cranky as the day wore on and so where previously I had been holding her/letting her nap with us downstairs until 11-12 pm where she finally went down (and she would sleep until 4:30 -5), I started to put her to bed earlier.
I found the short napping board and realized she was waking herself. I started the 3 hr easy, and after she woke I would lull her back to sleep. I succeeded with w2s and she's had good naps for the last few days. But now her nights are worse! We put her down between 7-8 (sometimes try 6:30 if she napped poorly) and she will wake several times until I give her a df at around 11. She has been waking 3-4 + times a night. Some of those times I give her a paci and do shh/pat, if that doesn't work I'll try to feed. Some wakes are due to bad gas/poop. Last night she woke every other hour and I had a very hard time putting her down so barely got sleep in between. I thought with her better naps she is supposed to sleep better at night, but this is not the case. Today I was weepy and unable to deal, had to have my dh come home and I got some sleep.
This was my routine yesterday (and similar the days previous)
E 6:30
S 7
E 9:30
A - keeping A low key to prevent OS
S - 10:30 - 12:15 (w2s)
E 12:30
A (putting her down after about an hr - seems to get tired by then)
S 1:30- 3:15 (w2s)
E 3:30
S 4:15 - 5pm - cry/diaper change
S 5:45 - fragile - until 6:15
E 6:30 - poor feed, fussy
S 7:30 - up at 8:15, didn't go down until 10
11 - E
1:30 - wouldn't settle, fed her (and she seemed hungry, not comfort), more settling after
4:30 - 30 min settle
6:30
What am I doing wrong? Or does it get worse before it gets better? I need some help, I am losing my mind!
-
Arrrrgh I have to join you ladies on this thread!! I cannot do this on my own anymore (dp is of no use whatsoever) and I need your support..
I was dealing with a short napper but that is pretty much sorted now (Lucy I'm glad that you're naps are getting better, I can't believe that I now have to join this group and have found you here too)
I successful weaned Jack from his paci and had 3 nights in a row when he slept through the night.. I thought I had it licked but nooooooooooo! He was just lulling me into a false sense of security! So I know that he can do it, I just don't know where I'm going wrong... I don't feed him at all through the night as I know that he is definitely getting enough through the day, so it must just be from habit grrrrrrr!
For a while he was waking at 3 and at 5, so I was trying w2s 30 mins beforehand and had limited success, but often he wakes and has become unswaddled and is lying the wrong way around in his cot, maybe it's time to bite the bullet with the swaddle, who knows?
do you often want to strangle mom's who brag their LO sleeps all night?
Oh yes I do!!!!
LOL!!! Ohhhh yes me too!! Especially when Dp offers up advice from all and sundry at his work.. put him to bed later, he shouldn't go for naps in his cot, let him cry it out, blah blah blah... I would love for them to come and try to solve it for me so that I could get to watch them fall on their faces with their stupid advice!! Who, bitchy me? from lack of sleep, now there's a surprise!!!
-
roflmao!!!!! ;D I'm right there with you. The nerve to even suggest we're "bitchy". LOL
(((hugs))) & hope you get some sleep soon.
-
Hi all,
My son is 5mo and we have NEVER had a longer stretch of sleep at night than say 4-5 hours. Most nights we get 1-2 hr sleeps (??) in between nightwakings. He wakes mainly because he is uncomfortable and needs repositioning or is hitting his head on the side of the cot. Instead of rolling the other way he hollers for us to come and move him. Most of the time he goes back to sleep within 10 mins but we don't because we are wide awake then.
I am completely out of ideas. Here is our routine in case you are brave enough to tackle this challenge. I am virtually ready to try the cry it out method. If we try and ignore him during the night he simply escalates in volume. If you have any ideas they would be greatly appreciated.
E: 7am bottle
A:8am: solids
S: 8:30/9 (sleeps for 1-1.5hrs)
A: play
E: 11 am bottle
A: 12 noon solids
S: 1pm (only sleeps for 45 mins here)
A: play
E: 3pm bottle
A: play
S:4pm (1hr)
A:play, bath etc
E: 7pm
S: 7:30 bed
Wish us luck....we are fading fast due to lack of sleep.
Ruth
-
Ruth, don't try the "cry it out" method as I am pretty sure it's not good for the lo's. (I know it's discouraged anyway). I know how frustrating it is with no sleep - at least you're only 5 months in; we've been at it for 18 mos. :o ::) :P (we have other issues though). There is hope, hang on and one of the other ladies will be helping you out shortly - I'm sure of it (and it's great that you posted the schedule as they'd have asked ;) ) Til you hear back I'm sending you ((((((big hugs)))))) . And hope you all get some sleep!!
-
Oh I am sooo glad I am not the only one :D. I have been posting mostly on the short napper's support thread, but I trickled over to this the other day and was so encouraged! My LO gets up 3-4 times a night, always has, and it feels like always will. A question for, well, anyone. Has anyone tried the method of reducing the number of minutes per NW feed till (supposedly) they STTN? Elliot is a fast eater (10 min max) at any time of day or night. This past week I tried cutting his NW feeds in half (5 min). I have met mixed success. He is taking to it alright, in that he goes back down after 5 min, but he added a feed. We went from a solid 3 times per night to 4. Just wondering if anyone else has had any luck with this method. Thanks so much!
Jessica
-
I follow the Easy system and my 7 month old still doesn't sleep, I am up almost every 2 hours every night, he just screams and is inconsolable. he doesn't even want to be held. He has 2 one hour nap during the day, sometimes a bit longer. He looks so tired and so do I. He goes to bed around 730 or 800, I so don't know what to do anymore. At 3 months he slept 12 hour nights then about 5 months it all went away.
I have no idea what to do to get us back to sleeping more, I am taking him to the doctor and going to see what he says.
Please any advice, I am so sick and tired of getting out of my bed, 8-10 times a night and having a screaming baby. HELP
-
I just want to say how thrilled I am to see this thread. I am new to the BW community here and it makes me feel better to know that I am not alone. My LO will be 8mos on friday and it feels like the nw will never end. I have tried absolutely everything I feel, and nothing seems to work. Everyone has ther "reasons" as to why because it cant possibly be normal that my son just doesnt sleep. It is nice to read the success stories written by mommies who do understand because they have been there. I hope that it gets better one day but until then I just continue to get up like so many.My spirited baby by is so busy all the time. from birth till about 3 1/2 mos he only woke twice per night but now its like he will sleep from 9pm until about12 am then he is up at least 4 times until 7 am when we get up. thanks for listening.....it does help
-
My son is exactly the same, he use to sleep but now I get about 3 hours after he goes to bed and then we are up about 3-4 times ahhhhh...
It's so hard to know what to do, I know that someday it will be better but when is the question
Nice to know that I am not the only Mom up in the night so tonight when I am out of my bed for the third time I will think of all the others tossing the blankets to the side and dragging our tired bodies to console a crying baby..... can't wait and if anyone has a new ideas of what to try or what has worked for them PLEASE message me and fill me in..
Happy sleeping............and waking...................
-
Hiya! Just a couple of things from a very experienced non-sleeper here!!!!
Firstly, cutting the NW breastfeeds didn't help in the case of my twin boys. They just woke up more regularly to make up for it. They genuinely needed a night feed until about a year old and even now have their first bottle any time from 4am (but then go back to sleep after - thankfully!) although usually about 6am then sleep for another hour or so.
Secondly, I would really advise an earlier bedtime. Try it for a week and see if it makes a difference. I often find that when I'm able to get mine into bed early, they sleep better. Problem is, DH doesn't get home till 6:50 and I can't always manage getting 3 of them into bed on my own! Depends on the day.
Chronic sleep deprivation is horrific. I did find, however, that once I just surrendered to it and 'gave in' and stopped trying to fix it, that it didn't feel so bad! Some babes just wake up in the night. I have absolutely no idea why mine still do so I've just had to accept that it's how it is for now.
Good luck!
Vicky
x
-
I thought I would try the earlier bedtimes and last night I tried getting him down early and he finally went to sleep at 8:30. The only problem was that 11:45 he started a long night of every 45 min-1hr wakings. I just dont get it. I am so tired I actually burried my face in the pillow and cried last night. I feel like such a bad mother because I cant get my LO to sleep. Everyone is critisizing me that I must be "doing" something wrong. I need help. I wondered If I could post our routine here and see if any suggestions or if I need to use a different thread please let me know......
Desperate at this point....... :'(
-
Please post it. No harm in giving it a go!!
xx
-
thanks,
I posted it under a new thread under night wakings and have had some positive suggestions. Please take a look and tell me what you think. I am on day two and things are a little better so there is hope on the horizon. The title is my 8 month old is waking more than ever...
My heart goes out to all of us who will be up several times tonight!!!
-
Jonathans mom, I feel your pain but....I could kiss you right now. I thought I was the only one. I try to keep on the EASY but I find it difficult because by LO is a short napper, she was doing ok with going to bed at 8ish then would wake sometimes at 2:00am or sometimes not until 4:30ish if I was really really lucky, then up for the day anywhere from 6:30 to 8:00 am. The last three nights however it's been very irratic but I think I may know the culprit. Last night for example she woke at 1:30 then back to sleep until 4:30 (I think, I got up so many freekin times and I'm so tired I forget to be honest) then up again at 5:30 then again at 6:30. It was at 6:30 that I started to bawl and told DH that I can't take anymore I just can't do it and he finally went in. She then slept from 6:30 till 8:00. I feel like a failure, it's my first and I don't know if that has something to do with it. I'm going to post on the EASY forum for a routine for a short napper. I see people posting a routine that goes EAS AS EAS AS and I'm not sure what that's about but maybe what I need. I find it hard to write it all down because we're so irratic in sleep but I have to be persistant. If it makes you feel any better the last couple of days I've caved and brought her into bed with me so I can get sleep to function thru the day. In defense of my hubby he works shift work, and I breastfeed. I've been feeding her everytime she wakes because I'm not sure if she's hungry or just needs consoling. I know I'm my own worst enemy. Wishing you and myself luck!!!
-
My 6 month old started sleeping poorly around 4 months. Before then, he slept about 5-6 hours at one time, woke to breastfeed, slept for another 2 hours, woke to breastfeed, and again another 2 hours until morning. I could handle this, although at the time I hoped it would get better with age. Now he wakes anywhere from 6-8 times a night. I started to use a no cry book but am feeling a little overwhelmed by it. Considering using the Baby Whisperer techniques. Son is a cat napper unless he sleeps with me which sometimes extend them out. He also must breastfeed to sleep. These are my 2 biggest concerns right now. I currently stay home but will return to work outside the home in a couple of months and am scared to death of the affect poor sleep will have on my ability to function as an employee, wife, & mother!!
-
Just some thoughts... my first baby was a fantastic sleeper. Slept through from 4 months. I did everything the same with my twins although I was even more careful to follow Baby Whisperer routine given that there were two of them. It's luck of the draw, I think. They were ok-ish until about 4 months (up till then they would wake once, sometimes twice for a breastfeed then go back to sleep).
In hindsight, I wish I'd done things a bit differently. Firstly, I should have kept them on a 3-hour EASY routine to get more food into them during the day. Secondly, I should have been much LESS WORRIED about 'accidental parenting' and setting up bad habits. What I wish I would have done more of was whatever I had to do to get more sleep IYKWIM! I wish I'd brought them into our bed, breastfed them to sleep, and not fought it as much as I did. I've since learnt that any bad habits can be unlearned... once everybody is refreshed and getting enough sleep.
That probably goes completely against what we're all thinking here, but I think that if I'd thought less and just go on with what worked, our sleep problems probably wouldn't have lasted as long. Hope that helps for what it's worth.
Sleep vibes to all.
Vicky
x
-
Hello. My name is Mandy and I have a 1 year old daughter. She just won't sleep through the night at all. Everyone gives advise, e.g. decrease the milk she gets, try to give just water but nothing works... She has her own mind and if she wants milk no one can stop her to cry. She will cry or hold her breath, very scary. She wakes up every 2-4 hours. I need to get up at 6AM for work and I am so so tired every day. Please help me.
-
8mth boy is formula fed and wakes even after 11pm feed once or so in the night about 2ish
with dummy then goes back to sleep
what shall i do.....i thought once on solids would sleeo through
11pm feed is approx 6oz
-
Hi Mandee and Kavitat - welcome to the boards!
I just wanted to let you know that you may want to try and post a specific thread on this board if you're still having problems with NW'ings. It doesn't look like many people visit this particular thread much, so you're likely to get a lot more responses when you post on the main Night Wakings board - just click the "new topic" tab and share your concerns. It will help if you give a general outline of your routine, what your day looks like, bedtimes, etc. Usually, you will receive a response within a day or two.
Hope things have improved for you - but {{{hugs}}} if they haven't :-* I'm also having some (well, a lot!) of issues with NW'ings with both my kids right now, so you're not alone!
Maggie
-
Reading these stories is alternately giving me hope and making me want to scream....hope from the moms with babies like mine; 5-8 NW every night and if I'm lucky, 2 45-minute naps a day, with chronic crabbiness from overtiredness in between. I'm reading stories from moms who say their babies wake 3 times a night and going "I would KILL for that!". I think DS is a touchy baby, because for about 1/2 an hour after his obscenely short naps, he's quite delightful. I think the grumpiness is sleep deprivation -- and I totally understand where he's coming from! But most nights he'll wake every 1.5-2 hours, and it can take up to 45 minutes just to get him back to sleep, whether I feed or not! So I'm getting my sleep in 45-1.5 hour increments....most nights he won't go to sleep until 10ish even though I start the nighttime routine around 8, and he usually wakes up around 5:30 or 6. Even if I put him back down at that point, he's up every 15-20 minutes after that. For naps, he usually goes down for the first one so easily, but wakes up (crabby!) after only 45 minutes, and after that its luck if he gets another nap. I use the swing, but he's becoming immune to that, and he recently stopped sleeping in the car, so going anywhere is torture; he screams and screams because he can't see me, and I have to pull over to calm him down every 15-20 minutes. My DH is so patient and kind, but I feel that it's not fair to him; I'm not even remotely the same person he married becuase I cry all the time, the house is a disaster, I feel like I can't keep it together anymore. Thank goodness I'm not working anymore! It's scary when you get so tired you can't think; one time I accidentally yelled at DS. I know it's not his fault, and if he knew how to go to sleep I'm sure he would, he's so tired. But it scared me that I would even raise my voice at him. We cry together a lot. He's only 3 months old so hopefully things will straighten out eventually. I'm afraid that this will go on for another 6 or 9 months, and some mornings I honestly can't even get out of bed without falling asleep on my feet. I don't believe in CIO and I'm terrified that I might do it out of frustration or sheer exhaustion.
Sorry for all the complaining. This seemed like a good place to vent. I know for a fact that I want at least one more baby, but I don't see how I can possibly handle it if my darling doesn't start sleeping.....
-
I am so glad I read this thread and am feeling like you too. All I have done today is cry, :'( which only makes me feel worse about the situation. My lo will only nap for about hour - 45 mins and thats after fussing to get off to sleep. He'll then wake be happy for about half an hr before getting angry again and we start the whole nap thing over. Have tried to get him to have a longer nap but so far no success and its getting to the point where I just dread it. I feel useless as the more he cries, the hotter he gets then i dont know whether he is crying cos hes hot, tired etc. My mum thinks putting him on solids would solve the problem(which I am not doing) and my friends all tell me there lo's slept through from 10 weeks and have naps quite happily in their cot. I think I make it worse by trying to do things for the better and then change his "routine" and I get even more frustrated when it doesnt work. Every so often he will fall asleep for a nap by himself, and on the rare occasions go into proper sleep but for the main its me helping him with the aid of a dummy only for him to wake up 30 mins afterwards. Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels like this, just disappointed there is no easy quick fix solution- :)things seem so much more difficult when you're tired!! x
-
Hoorah for all of you! I am not alone, surrounded by sanctimonious do-gooders with stories of how much their babies sleep! I am through the worst and now get woken obscenely early rather than through the night but my poor sis is in the midst of the dark times with her 16 month old and is at her wits end. I shall refer her to here to gain comfort! Hope those bleary eyes clear soon for you all.
-
Oh my goodness I thought I was the only one who had the guilt for loosing it on more than one occasion - thank you ladies for being so honest.
I think that when our babies finally leave home we should all have a bottle of champagne to celebrate our sheer pride at being so capable for coping with all this!!!
Well done us - big hugs all round xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
-
((Hugs)) to you.
Oh my goodness I thought I was the only one who had the guilt for loosing it on more than one occasion - thank you ladies for being so honest.
Definately not alone :-*
-
Tamar,
Somehow I missed your post back in June. I hope you were able to get help with the NW. I hope things are better.
-
this is a great thread!!! I have given my 8 month a routine of food/bath/gentle play/bed since he was 2 months. He will happily sleep at 7pm, but needs a feed around 11pm, 2am, 4am and then is awake by 6. Eveyone says to give him more food/let him CIO/etc and nothing works. I think we just need to get through this as best as we can...
-
Hi Monica,
An 8 month old doesn't need to eat more than once at night, if at all. But there is a gentler way to wean the night feedings than letting him CIO. Is he breast or bottle fed? I ask b/c that will determine how you go about weaning the night feeds. For bottle, you decrease the amount of formula by 1 ounce, do that for 3 days, and decrease by 1 ounce again. You keep the same amount of water and at the end, all you are giving is water. I actually have a thread in bottle feeding if you want to read it. It has some good information. If you are breast feeding, I would start a thread there so that you can get some help with it.
Hope that helps!
Brooke
-
Hi,
Just read the advice about less formula but same water amount - surely that is against what the cans say? I thought that it would make the baby ill? Surely you mix it as normal but allow them to drink less and then swap over to water bottle in same feed so that the ratio starts to swing towards water?
Confused...
-
Hi every one I am Esther and I need Help!!!
I have a 2 month old baby, he slept up to 12 hours for 3 nights, but the other nights he woke up between 3 and 4 am, but at this time he doesn`t eat very well, he is breastfed so he eats from one side and then he falls back to sleep I offer the ther side but he only eats for a couple of minutes and falls back to sleep, my pediatrician told me to cry it out, I tried for 1 night but he doesn`t fall asleep, I gave him a pacifier but it didn`t help his last fed is at 7.30 pm, what should I do?
I also tried waking him for a dream fed at 11pm , but it didn`t work he ate too little and then woke up again at 3am.
-
louloulee - I'm by no means an expert, but with regards to diluting down formula I'm pretty sure its fine. My understanding is that the main problem with it is that it wont satisfy your baby's hunger because you're essentially giving them less food. In cases where the baby isnt really hungry and just takes the feed more for comfort (usually at night), then diluting it may be one way of weaning them off that feed.
I do think that putting too much formula in a mix can cause problems though - mainly constipation is what they say. I guess they have to put careful instructions on tins etc to make sure its made up correctly for a typical feed. But watering it down shouldnt cause any physical problems, apart from leaving a baby hungry. I guess some people may be tempted to water it down to save costs etc, and that would lead to a problem b/c your baby would be continually hungry.
If I'm completely off base or anyone knows something contrary, please let me know.
-
Hi All! I'm new to BW and have already found LOTS of helpful advice, but was thrilled to find this post for tired moms! I could use some advice with my 4.5 mo old. Essentially he's on a 4 hour EASY starting at 7-7:30am. He's taking breastmilk from a bottle and will not take more than 5 or so ounces at a time. We feed him right before bed at 7-730pm then DF @ 10:30 (11 if my husband is home ;) . Here's the issue: he wakes up like clockwork at 3am to eat. It's not that I mind that so much, it is what it is, but.......he wakes up at 5-5:30! Not crying, chatting, slightly irritated that his paci fell out (another issue). We had been going in and putting the paci back in, but it hasn't been helping lately. So last night I let him chat away for an hour, then at 6am I went in and gave him his paci and he slept for 50 more minutes. Up we were at 7, but he's sooooo tired an hour later I had to put him to bed. One, I'm worried he's not getting enought night sleep and two, I'm not getting enough hours in a row!! I don't expect him to sleep all night but the multiple early wakings are what's getting to him and us! What can we do?? I'd appreciate any help!!
-
Bensmuma - sorry you are having a rough time. Those on this thread will be able to offer you tons of moral support. You might also want to post a thread on the main NW board if you have a specific question you'd like members to look at - you will probably get more responses that way xx
-
Thanks Bryony! I'll post elsewhere. But now I'm wondering if I should be in NW or Early Risers??? Ben eats at 2:30-3 but has been consisttently waking at 5am everyday, sleeping maybe another hour if we're luck by 7-8am. Then sleeps 2 or so hours again by 9-930. Where should I post??? Thansk!
-
I'd go with General Sleep if the EW is the main problem!
xx
-
Esther, are you still there? I've been out of town, but I'd like to help if I can.
Louloulee, it's not recommended to dilute the formula when making it for a regular feeding b/c the baby will not get enough nutrients. The goal in diluting a night feed is to eliminate that feeding. It's done gradually, so that the child will make up the ounces during the day. Does that make sense? :)
-
Hiya,
Yes totally get it now - even started it myself last night as his little 1-2oz twice a night wakenings are getting silly now...!
xxxxx
-
:)
-
Hi,
Question: if my LO is getting 24oz of milk during the day incl supper feed 7pm then shouldn't he be sleeping to his dreamfeed at least or does he need more for his size - he is about 15lbs... He keeps waking at anything between 8.30 to 9.15 - usually 8.30 wanting 1-2 ozs...despite taking 6ozs at 7pm...I always try the dummy first but he won't have it - he wants a drink...
I have started to give him watered down feeds for his 1.30 and 3.30 wake ups - should I do the same for this one prior to the DF? My concern is that he needs the milk as opposed to a habit...
-
Hiya
If he is taking a proper feed at 7pm then he won't need another between 830 and 915pm. It sounds to me like he is waking for some other reason.
This thread is mainly for support so you often won't get many responses to specific questions here. Maybe pop a post on the main board so we can offer you some help :) :-*
-
Moonlight Mommy here- I am new to Easy and will be starting on monday for the four hour eating stretch for my 4 month old. Am I right to assume that my baby who wakes to eat every 1-2 hours now is supposed to not eat at all during the night but just to do PU/PD and the pat/shh????? I'm concerned about how to do that. Please give me specific advice!!!
-
Hey there,
Well, not all 4 month olds are ready to sleep through the night. Some might say otherwise. I'd definitely say that every 1-2 hours is not necessary. Is yours bottle or breast fed? How often during the day do you feed? Do you first try to settle your baby at night when he/she wakes or do you automatically feed?
Tracy has a book called The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. It has GREAT information and specific directions for shh/pat and pu/pd. Do you have it? I can find the links for you from this site with the instructions in a few minutes. I just need to go put mine to bed! :)
This thread is mostly for support. If you post your own thread, you'll get a lot of great advice. Not sure how many people check this one. I'd just like for you to get more input. :)
I'll be back, though.
Brooke
-
Anyone who would like to help out gogreenmommy, check out her thread here:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=132503.0
-
Thanks! :)
-
:)
-
Hello ladies. I'm looking for some advice to this horrible night waking party we are having at my house....my son is 5 months old. He seems to possible have developed a habit which I would like to get your opinion on. He typically is ready for bed around 8 pm. I try and get him down awake, but sometimes falls asleep in my arms. He is on the spirited side in personality. He has been waking up almost like clockwork a hour after I put him down...pick him up and put him down ( he may fuss a little)....down for another hour, then wakes again. He started this a couple of weeks ago. I will say that after many conversations with friends/family I did try the CC in which it seemed to have immediate affects after one 5 min. crying session one night. He seemed to do well (only 1-2 wakings), but it has been HE-- ever since. Wakes up through the night....WHY is the number one question. Doesn't always seem interested in eating. I'm so exhausted that I usually end up putting him in bed with me which I hate to say, but in the middle of the night I can hardly think.
I would say he is now on a 4 hours EASY; however, probably not as structured as some. I work full-time and really don't get to analyze his day much other than the weekend. He does have at least one good nap a day at the sitter and maybe a couple of cat naps, but on the weekends with me he doesn't really take naps other than maybe 1/2 -hour at a time.
What is my missing linK? Sometimes I think I become so obsessed with thinking about it that it makes me nuts!
I do try to feed and put him down when I see him giving me the "I'm tired" signs....could he be OT and I'm waiting too long? OR does this all sound like habits?
thanks to all the supportive mommies out there....hopefully one day I can pay it forward!
-
Amy - this thread is more about support - if you want specific advice on your routine etc then I would create a new thread
xx
-
Sorry....I haven't really had time to use this site much so I wasn't sure how to do that. I'll have to take a few minutes to figure that out.
-
If you go the NW page, there is a tab near the bottom which says "new thread" - you can then start your own thread
xx
-
I love this thread because I now know what it's like to have a frequent night waker...
My son was on EASY at week 3 and slept through the night at 8 weeks (df at 11:00, slept through 7:00). You bet that I bragged to anyone who would listen that my baby was sleeping through the night at 2 months...
yeah yeah yeah...
I now have a 4 month old daughter. She is such a happy and pleasant baby. She goes down easily for naps and even for bedtime...but...she wakes up crying at least once, but usually 2 or 3 times a night! It kills me because she was sleeping throught the night at 7 weeks (had to beat her big bro), but then at 12 weeks it all changed...
Now, I am very humbled :P
-
LOL I know what you mean!!
DD1 was a real touchy baby but STTN from 12 weeks. DD2 is an angel baby and I was sure she would STTN from early on too. We eventually had to whisper away those night feeds at 8 months :o :p
-
Hey ther I'm a mom and im on my first gift Sophia. She slept thru the night... well not really only because i slept in bed with her... bad me... i wish i could go bak and fix it. but its so hard. my mans gotta work in the morning and if he cant sleep then he gets cranky then im cranky and then shes even crankier.. so bad excuse i know but i did it i tried to jus do it for a while in the beginning but then when i tried getting her in her crib she got really upset aNd like and seperation anxiety right now she is 9months and are bed seems to get smaller and smaller as she gets bigger and bigger. Im still breastfeeding and she wakes up wanting on my boob i donno i jus donno wat to do i bet alot of you can relate but we live in a one bedrooom and thers not much prior knowledge so i don't know wat to do.
-
My little angel is 5 mths 3 weeks and he wakes every 4 hours, feeds and goes right back to sleep. But I really need more than 4 hours at a time. Can anyone offer any suggestions. I have tried giving him his paci when he wakes but that just puts him to sleep for an hour then he is up and pushes my hand away when I try again.
-
Hi ladies,
You might want to start a thread in Night Wakings. You will get a lot more support there, as not as many people see this thread.
Mom4life,
Some LO's still need that feeding. If he goes back to sleep and then wakes an hour later, that is probably what's happening. He's probably hungry. Is he breast fed? If so, breast fed babies cannot go as long as bottle fed babies. When mine was breast fed, at night she'd only be able to go 4-6 hrs b/w feedings. Usually 4. At 7 months we went to bottle, and she dropped 1 night feed, so we were down to 1. At 8 months, I weaned the night feed gradually.
ShalNSophia,
Does she have a crib? Is it in your room?
:)
Brooke
-
Hiya
If anyone has any suggestions or advice for Sanrega you can post here on her thread :)
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=135418.0
x
-
Glad I am not the only one who has some anger toward my child because he won't sleep. I know it isn't his fault but it is hard not to get mad. I do all the night feedings and burping and rocking ect, so DH can sleep since he is working. And then by the am I am in tears and find myself fighting them back during the day. Lack of sleep really takes a toll. How do you cope with life?
-
Oh yeah and I have sworn off ever having another child, I can't take this again!
-
Aww big ((((Hugs)))) to you.
It really is tough when you are up at night, especially with another LO to be caring for.
Have you posted on the main forum for some specific support x
-
I have posted to the forum for Easy suggestions, thanks. It is nice to know I am not the only mother missing sleep and fighting back tears though. No one who I talk to in person acts like they can relate, and if they can they don't share their stories! My mom had three children and nursed them all, but apparently we were all perfect or she has amnesia because she never tells me anything on how she can relate to the tears and wishes of sleep. My DH stayed downstairs with the baby last night and let me sleep. How WONDERFUL however, I woke up at 2am and every hour after that???? Anxiety I guess. Didn't tell him that, I didn't want him to think he wasted his time.
-
I had one 6 hours stretch, baby is 10 months.
-
I hear you shashasharon!! I find myself cheering every time my 'almost 11 month old' sleeps through till 4:30 am. As soon as I cheer, though, he does it to me again!! Last night, he was up at 10;30, 1:30, and then partying at 4:30!! Apparently, he fell asleep from 5:30-6:30 but I had passed him over to DH at that point! I think he has a bit of flu/teething, so am biding my time before starting another thread in NW!!
-
Hi...my dd is 6 weeks...he doesn't sleep well...at night he only sleep periods of one hour, then he wake up and I have to load him because if i don't load him he doesn't sleep again. Can somebody help me¡¡¡¡¡
-
help! my 7 month old spirited baby nurses all night!! up every hour or less!
i'm new to this forum. i just read the baby whisperer and i can't wait to start e.a.s.y. my husband and i are starting this sunday when he can help. not sure how i will last till then with 'no' sleep. but i know i can't do it myself.
our baby has ever so gradually turned from a good sleeper to a horrible one. we have been co-sleeping but it obviously doesn't work for us. she wakes every 30 minutes to an hour, all night, to nurse, sometimes she is awake for a few hours around 2:30. in anticipation of starting e.a.s.y. i have tried to get her into the schedule, with success in the daytime, but at night i don't know what to do. when i start e.a.s.y. she will be going from 10 feeds a night to zero. is that ok?
i am so anxious about how this is going to work. i imagine screaming and crying all night. with me doing a fair share of the crying! does anyone have any advice or a similar situation?
-
thank you for sharing your stories because every moms group & new mother I talk to has the same story "My child has slept through the night since one month"...I think I am going to start lying too :)
-
If ur baby sleeps for 5 hours its medically considered sleeping thru.
chin up ladies. is hard but itll all b ok int end.
-
What a great thread! I have what I believe to be an angel/textbook baby and I don't take this for granted. So when he stopped sleeping through the night I figured well, this just has to be my fault.
I feel a bit guilty as we started him on some pureed food at five months mainly because we thought it would help and now I'm thinking I could have waited as we may never know why he's started to wake up. I find it so much easier knowing this isn't unusual.
-
My daughter will be one year next week and has never slept through the night. She wakes every 3 hours.. I am a zombie. She is on all solid foods, nurses 2-3x a day, formula bottles too. She wakes up screaming and I've tried shush/pat/pu/pd/cio.. i don't know what else to do.
-
Hi jenlarsen, welcome to bw! Why don't you start your own thread and put info in it like your daily routiene including all naps and the ladies on here will give you some very sound advice. HTH and (((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))) It ain't easy
-
i sick of hearing people say there babies slept through and a new mum not had any experience of children or babies used to make me feel insecure like it was my fault she was waking up stupid i know. we have just this past couple of wks had her waking up once a night now. but before was every 3 to 4 hours and she would nap just once a day. i was a walking zombie mess
-
So glad I found this site! I have a touchy baby who was sleeping a good 5-6 hr stretch at nights but now is waking every 2-4 hrs. I've tried upping his feeds during the day but he simply won't take more than 6oz milk in a feed, I've tried dreamfeeding him but it just seems to give him lots of gas since he never burps when he's fast asleep - then he wakes up with bellyache anyway. So should I try and feed an extra feed during the day and put it down to a growth spurt (he's 15 wks) and they usually only last 2-3 days but this has been going on for 5-6 days now and I'm shattered. He seems to be hungry when he's waking during the night but won't take a full feed - I've tried offering water but that doesn't go down well at night, although he's happy to drink it during the day?
He's on a 3hr EASY at the moment and generally sticks to it quite well during the day - just don't understand what's going on at night anymore. Any ideas/suggestions ??
-
HOLY COW this just made me feel so much better to read these. I was starting to think I am the only one who has a baby who has a 5 month old who never sleeps. I have 3 really close friends who have children w/in a month of mine and they ALL sleep at least 6 hours a night.. WHAT!! I want to cry!!
I have tried pu/pd (for 3 weeks!!!) , and recently cio, feeding more, started the EASY, really focusing on not letting LO get OT. My LIFE is about his sleep and it seems worse now than it was when I just let him sleep in his bouncy during the day and in our bed at night (even though he was waking up every two hours.. this is worse!). We never go anywhere anymore b/c I am scared he will get OT and sleep even worse.. which is what happened tonight. We went to a family dinner and didn't get home until after 8:00, he was so OT that now he is waking up every 30 min to ever hour. It is 2:55am and I am too mad to sleep. I think I will never sleep again. This is my third child (and LAST!) and it has never been this bad and we have never tried this hard for a baby to sleep.
I asked my DH if we can bring him back in our bed but he shot me down.. we have tried for almost a month now to get this baby to sleep at least 4 hours! I would be happy if he would just go 3 or 4 hours consistently. But he said "NO WAY, we have tried this hard. We can't give up now! It will be better in a month or so." But I think I am losing my mind! and I don't know if I can go a month or so. I know I have PPD and started taking anti-depressant a week ago. I hope it helps, but w/ no sleep I am not sure it will help THAT much. I have two other children (an 8 year old and a 4 year old) who are suffering from my beastliness. I just can't wait for this stage to be over, I know that "this too will pass", I just hope I am strong enough to endure. Right now this is very questionable, but what else can I do. I am a mom, and this is part of the job. I have this overwhelming feeling to run away and change my name, but come on. I would miss my kids after 2 hours..OK, I could probably go a few days. But after that I would want them and all this would just be here waiting. So I will buck up suck it up and go on.. but I can complain about it every second RIGHT!!
-
:D
Thnk you so much! Tonight as I'm shushing, patting and praying that he'll sleep and holding my breath in bed hoping that wasn't him I just heard, I'll think of all you other Mommies out there and know I am not alone!
We can do it!
-
I have a query that I would love somebody to answer. My 6 week old wakes before his 3 hourly night feed is due, and I calm him back to sleep, which he is getting better at. Then, he wakes for his 3 hourly night feed which he gets. But do I wake him for his 3 hourly feed at night or just let him sleep through if he wants to?
-
Can anyone help??? My little girl is already nearly 4 Years old and has only slept through the night a handful of times. She goes down really really well and has a great bedtime routine. But - then she wakes up at least once every night. About 35% of the time there is a reason - she gets night terrors and has growing pains. But the other 65% of the time there seems to be no reason! I'm a single, working mum so am unable to try out methods which include another person taking control.
I've tried putting her back to bed. She does go back to sleep, but then wakes again. Sometimes as often as 4/5 times a night. Then she's up and at 'em by 6am each morning! I don't know how she does it......
I have tried lots of different things - but would love to hear any advice or tips that you can give me!
Many thanks xx
-
Please help-I wrote when my son was four months-he has never been a good sleeper-but at least then he would cry thoughout the night, but put himself back to sleep sometimes. Now the last three weeks, he has been screamed multiple times-he did get two bottom teeth, so I thoughtthat might have something to do with it, but motrin isn't helping. I try to wait five minutes or so before we go in and so shush pat and give his pacifier-but then he is back up maybe an hour later sometimes less sometimes more. What am I doing wrong-I am feeling like a complete failure-he just won't sleep-sometimes his naps are 45 minutes, sometimes 1 1/2 hours making a schedule very hard to keep. He is up super early 4:30/5- I am so lost-any advice I would be more than grateful.
-
been trying to put him on EASY as he is also not a good napper. Usually only sleeps for 30 minutes in the am and than after an hour of fussing takes a 1 1/2 nap in the afternoon. We put him to bed at 8pm and he sleeps for about 3 hours and than the rest of the night he continually wakes up. I try not to rush in right away and I wait till I know its a real cry. The first couple times I go into his room put his pacifer back in and place my hand on his belly and he usually falls right back to sleep. This continues until about 3am at which time I feed him and than he continues to wake up every hour until 7 am. I am so exhausted by the morning and he is wide awake. I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I don't understand why he can't stay asleep. ??? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
-
Well, I don't know if this thread makes me feel better or worse!!!!!!!!!!! Because this means he could continue doing this for MONTHS??? MORE MONTHS???? Don't know if I will survive.... Seriously!
-
EASY has worked for me till she was 4 months. She used to wake once in the night now its every two hours. I have started supplementing with formula as i think she was hungry but no change. Though her sluggish weight gain has gotten better. I have tried everything too. I am thinking about weaning her off her dummy as she needs it to fall back to sleep but not always to get to sleep. Also i have just bought a book from the fabulous website called the http://www.thesleepstore.co.nz
Totally recommend it for information, resources (books, DVDs swaddles etc) and clothes etc to help your baby sleep. I have just purchased the book 'Save our Sleep'. Hopefully it works. Good luck to all mothers out there. You are all doing a great job and the very best you can do. Its hard i know but keep at it.
-
HI there, I am going to jump in on this thread! I wasn't able to read all of the posts but from the few I have read, this is the place for me. My lo is 6 1/2 mo and still does not STTN.
At 3 mo I implemented the df that never worked. It acually made things worse. He used to sleep from 7 pm to 2 am and now, he wakes at 11.00 pm and again at 2 pm, then it will be every 2-3 h after that. He is also a early riser, waking for the day at 5 am. Have tried different solutions but nothing seems to work.
At the moment I am so tired, I don't even have the energy to discuss our situation in detail...just needed to vent a little.
-
I get the feeling DFs don't work for everyone. I started DF at 3 mo too, and my DD started waking frequently at night. I was also rearranging her routine during the day, so I didn't know if it was the DF or the routine. I kept up with the DFs for almost two months, hoping she would eventually sleep all night. After finding this site, I'm seeing so many mothers who have problems with the DF, I'm sure that's the source. I've dropped DF in the past week or so, and things are improving slowly. She's gotten used to waking frequently now. She wants to wake at 5:30 (and sometimes poops! What do you do about that? If you change the diaper, that's too stimulating to put her back to bed, but she can't sleep with a dirty diaper.) but I do PU/PD until 6:30, a time when I find getting up is reasonable. Hope someone out there has the answer to this and can find a way to let us know.
-
Hi Everyone!!
This thread brought me to tears! I am exhausted on so many levels!! Exhausted from trying different ways to get him to sleep, exhausted from hearing other peoples advice, exhausted in my marriage and friends, exhausted from hearing how wonderful other peoples babies are. I am exhausted and find my self angry because he won't sleep. I just break down crying because I am so tired.
I have a touchy baby with acid reflex who did nothing but cry for months on end. Finally the daytime crying has ended but now he doesn't sleep at night. I have relatives with babies about the same age as mine and I am so exhausted with having the only baby being the one screaming because of pain or because he won't sleep. I can't bare to hear one more person tell me how great their child is and how easy things are for them.
I have tried everything nothing works and all I need is sleep. When will this end?
-
My DD is 6 months old now. She was on EASY from about 3 weeks old and it worked great for us until about 8 weeks ago.
Gradually over time she has started to wake up frequently during the night. I've tried EVERYTHING!! Extra food during the day (she was on solids earlier as adviced by doctor due to her having reflux) Good night milk, baby massage, regular bedtime routine etc etc.
She goes to bed at around around 7pm and sleeps fine, she has her dream feed at 11pm (I'm weaning her off those next month) and then she wakes at random times from then on....
It seems from watching her and doing the pick up put down that she relaxes, falls asleep - her breathing changes and then all of a sudden she startles herself and gets anxious or unrested and then she starts fidgeting, talking to herself, the fake cry (sounds like a cough) and then we hold back and don't intervene until it's a real cry like the baby whisperer book says and so the cycle starts over again. Two nights ago she held her own personal record of being awake from 1 a.m until 5 a.m............... I felt like a zombie.
I just don't know what to do.......
-
AngelHands: hang in there! I know it's really tough. I had a screamer (never did cry, only scream...and mostly at night) and it is hard not to feel lovely and happy about your baby. I had a hard time enjoying him during the day b/c I was so upset over the nights. This is a good place to be, b/c instead of hearing about all the perfect babies, you can for once hear the hard stories and know you are not alone, and it will end, things will get better, but I know that doesn't help you right now. {HUGS!}
Katey: If I were you I'd think about speeding up the process of dropping df. Just a thought, but she sleeps fine till you disrupt her sleep cycle with the df. ??? or maybe try doing the df earlier, or at a different time. I know some lo's do have that trouble, and 6 mo is around the age their sleep cycles start to look like an adults instead of a newborn, so that could be the trigger for the change. ??? HTH.
-
Thank you, i'll try that x
-
As this thread has reached 30 pages I am going to lock it and start a new one.