BabyWhispererForums.com
EAT => Breast Feeding => Topic started by: RachelC on February 22, 2007, 00:36:16 am
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Thought I would share this all with you... it's in my area :(
Dear Fellow Breastfeeding Advocates,
I would like to share the experience that I had at the
Berkshire Mall in Wyomissing PA today. My husband and I took our
2-year-old daughter and 6 month-old son out for a day of shopping and
errands. While at the mall, my son became hungry. I found a bench
near an indoor tree and parked my stroller directly in front of me.
As discretely as possible I began nursing my son. After about 10
minutes or so I was interrupted by a security guard, who asked me if I
could put a blanket over my son and cover up better. I informed him
that I did not have a blanket nor would I like him to get me one and
also that I had no breast exposed anyway. He began to speak again, at
which point my husband informed him that we were not interested in
this conversation and that we were discretely trying to feed our son
in a public place. His retort that this was private property and that
there were rules and he could ask us to leave and ban us from the
mall. My husband reminded him that this was private property that is
open to the public and that people have rights in public areas. He
threatened to call the police to have us removed and my husband told
him that that is what he should do if he felt that to be necessary.
At that point he walked away.
Moments later we were confronted by another security guard. I
immediately told her that I had no intention on listening to what she
had to say. My husband told her that she had to back away from my son
and I and speak with him further down the hall. While I continued to
feed my son, my husband dealt with this person. She asked why they
couldn't provide me with a blanket or buy me a new one. My husband
explained to her that we weren't going to use a dirty blanket or use a
new one that hadn't been laundered. At this point the first security
guard came back to get involved. He asked why I couldn't move the
breastfeeding into a more private location like the bathroom. My
husband asked him if he liked to eat on a toilet seat in a public
bathroom. The security guard replied that I didn't have to sit on a
toilet. My husband asked where should she sit, on the floor. The
security guard replied that I could stand in the bathroom. My husband
laughed and said "obviously you've never breastfed." Then the
security guard suggested I go out to my car to breastfeed. IT WAS 30o
OUTSIDE!!!!!! My husband said that although one person complained
about seeing me breastfeed, it didn't seem as if anyone else had
noticed . But now due to this argument everyone in the area was
staring. During this interaction I was enraged by the suggestion of
going into a bathroom to breastfeed, that I took it upon myself to
draw more attention by yelling "I REFUSE TO FEED MY BABY IN A
BATHROOM" over and over. The security guards brought up the police
again in an attempt to scare us into compliance. My husband informed
them again that they would have to call the police if they wanted us
to leave before my son was finished his meal. The security guard gave
up and stated that if he got one more complaint he was definitely
calling the cops. My husband said that that is what they were going
to have to do. My s on then continued and finished his meal. After
we returned our purchases and explained to the store associate why we
were never going to return to this store or this mall again we went
home.
Upon reviewing the Mall's rules and regulations on their web site we
noted that there was no official written rule prohibiting
breastfeeding in the mall.
Thank you for taking the time to read our story and we would love to
be contacted by you to see if there is any action, we as concerned
parents would like to take regarding this incident.
Sincerely,
Leigh Bellini
Taken from http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=619642
Here is a place for people to leave feedback about breastfeeding in public from a local news station:
http://www.nbc10.com/more/index.html?dl_trayclick
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That is pretty darn sad :(
I am so glad the parents held their own though.
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Yeah, and I have to say I am quite impressed with Dad ;D
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I am pretty sure my DH would be the same. Thankfully, the issue never came up!
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Very impressed with them for holding their own, i know my dh would be like that too. He is pretty pro BF now - lol!!
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I wish they would have called the cops who could have informed the stupid security guards that it was the woman's legal right to breastfeed her son. ::)
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That is just terrible...I would definitely never go back to that Mall....
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That is just terrible...I would definitely never go back to that Mall....
I would, and I'd bring my breastfeeding buddies with me!
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How terrible!!! Good on DH for standing his ground. Would have loved the police to come as I'm sure that the mall would not have a leg to stand on.
I have a male friend that I can't BF in front of (he's actually my DH BIL and our neighbour!) as he is not comfortable with it. Some people can't seem to differentiate between the sexual aspect and the feeding aspect of breasts.... very sad.
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I think the DH sounds like a star. I also think some security guards have either too much time on their homes or bizarre priorities. Sadly rules vary enormously e.g. state to state and country to country. It's not always a legal right for a mother to feed in public. In the UK right now it is in Scotland but mothers have no protection against idiots in England and Wales.
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It INFURIATES ME!! >:( I would want to go back with as many breastfeeding women as I could find and just feed our kids all day long!!!!! >:( >:( >:(
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They are planning a nurse-in this weekend... I wish I wasn't so busy :-\
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I really cannot believe that this kind of thing actually happens. It's so ridiculous. I was never one to breastfeed in public myself and always expressed, but I would have no problem with anyone doing it in front of me if they felt comfortable with it. It's the kind of thing that no-one would really notice when you're just sitting quietly, getting on with it. So why should it offend anyone? I could understand it if a mum was sitting topless doing it, or was breastfeeding an older child, rather than an infant, but feeding a baby when he needs it should be allowed anywhere. It's just common sense.
I agree that the security guard just had too much time on his hands and got a bit too full of his own importance. Good for the couple for standing their ground.
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The mall that I go to has an area with 3 comfy couches and a curtain that is usually open that is specifically billed as a nursing area. In addition, while they do have those very uncomfortable benches, they also have areas with armchairs, that is usually populated by elderly gentlemen napping while their wives are shopping.
Sigh. Un-freaking-real.
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Sadly rules vary enormously e.g. state to state and country to country. It's not always a legal right for a mother to feed in public.
Well, apparently here in Pennsylvania, there are no laws protecting us... yet
http://www.ncsl.org/programs/health/breast50.htm
http://www.nbc10.com/health/11076859/detail.html
I can't wait to hear what the "investigation" reveals. *sigh*
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That is very sad >:( >:(
I am so glad they are having a nurse in. Hope that security guard is there to get his butt kicked.
Niki
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Good for them. Way to stand up for yourself. I'm really impressed at the dad.
I personally don't like to bf in public, but I think it's important that mothers have the choice to do it if they want to. If people aren't mature enough to handle it, then they are free to leave right? Or turn away! my gosh how hard could that be?? Some people just like to make trouble ::)
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Good for them for standing thre ground!! I would've probably been arrested for assault lol!! I wonder what the cops would've said and done keep us posted. When I was breastfeeding I always went to the dressing room. I needed the privacy and my DS was always looking around at everything.
Lisa
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I did my first nurse-in-public at an Arby's this past weekend! I was nervous but it was no big deal. It really helped me to know that if anyone did come up to me, I knew the Washington state law with regard to breastfeeding in public.
It's so sad that there are people out there like this. To me it's not really about our right to feed, it's about our babies' right to eat. They are people too and they shouldn't have to take their meals in dirty bathrooms! MALL restrooms = yuck!!!
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Wow, good for them for standing their ground! I have been so blessed that I've never had to defend my right to breastfeed my child in public... in California (at least where I live) it's not frowned upon at all. But I've also nursed a 21-month-old on an international flight with no one making even a peep about it... they probably preferred my public toddler nursing to listening to her scream because she was so overtired and out of sorts that she couldn't get to sleep without that favored prop!
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In Australia women can breastfeed in public knowing they are protected by the law. Doesn't mean that some people don't complain, but they don't have a legal leg to stand on. Our shopping centers (equivalent to a mall) all have what we call Parent's rooms. They are usually really lovely. They have little cubicles with comfy lounge chairs and a curtain or they have a more open area with lounge chairs. They then have a change area with mats and bins for your used nappies and a toilet (like a disabled toilet) so you can bring your pram in. It's also great because it enables fathers to also bring their smaller children to the toilet, so they don't have to go into the mens toilet. It's hard when fathers are out with their small children.
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Oh, and Nordstrom's are a mom's best friend if you are in a mall and can't find someplace to nurse...they have huge lovely "women's lounges" with couches, soft lighting, very relaxing place to sit and nurse. It helps me on trips to the mall when there is a Nordie's there if I need it.
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I feel sorry for her little boy, I believe he was only 6mo - poor little lad, my little lo is 5mo and that would have certainly distressed her :(
I have fed in public although I'm not completely comfortable with it. I've used department store cafes, park bench, charity shop changing rooms, but i do often find it hard to find somewhere discrete. Although I don't really like the little locker feeding rooms - I need space & relaxation... but at least they are better than nothing.. ;)
Fortunately most people i know and have met have embraced breastfeeding and have certainly encouraged me to carry on!!!
The security guard should be locked up - he is as my mum puts it 'in the wrong job!' bathrooms (or toilets here in the UK) are often too grotty to even change a nappy let alone feed in..
Poor little lo... :(
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Good for you guys. I haven't ran into that issue yet but I would have done the same. I agree with Binxiboo.
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Baby Talk created a "Breastfeeding License". I downloaded a copy of it and put it in my diaper bag:
http://www.parenting.com/parenting/whitepage/magazine_pullouts/pdfs/btcard.pdf
I haven't had to use it, yet. But, you never know.
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Baby Talk created a "Breastfeeding License". I downloaded a copy of it and put it in my diaper bag:
http://www.parenting.com/parenting/whitepage/magazine_pullouts/pdfs/btcard.pdf
I haven't had to use it, yet. But, you never know.
Thanks for posting that! What a great idea.
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Hmmm that wouldn't work in the U.K then ???
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Probably wouldn't be too difficult to do something similar with UK laws...