BabyWhispererForums.com
ACTIVITY => Activity Time & Toddler Activity => Topic started by: mmom on February 13, 2010, 19:28:01 pm
-
I am feeling like a bad/lazy mom in general. There are some days where my LO and I don't leave the house at all and I have to admit, that I don't do creative things on those days either. I am lucky that my LO will play independently for ages, as long as he can check in with me from time to time. I was just reading through the activities for toddlers sticky to get some ideas and I am wondering what other moms of 18 month olds do all day. Are you spending a lot of time on the floor interacting? I am wondering if I am hindering development in any way by not providing more learning activities for my LO to do with me while he is home. We go to toddler classes 2 days per week and a toddler group at least 1x per week. But on the days were are home and stuck in the house, I am thinking I need to do more for him. Yesterday I was wasn't feeling well and pretty much laid around while he entertained himself. :-[
-
I do very very little in the way of structured activities with Enfys, and never have. I do work 4 long days a week and I have lots to catch up with when we are home. Like you, I am lucky that she will play by herself for a long time. She likes to help do stuff around the house, like cooking, and I like to think she is learning by living.
-
If it worries you, maybe you could set up a time during the day where you and your LO do something together, whether it's a craft project or play-doh or reading together or dancing to music in the living room or whatever. I also find that just including my kids in whatever I'm doing helps us connect; Josie never did take to folding laundry, but she'll do it grudgingly if we're talking girl-talk or listening to fun music in the background while we fold. Natalie is a champion napkin-folder, tho, and will even *gasp* wash dishes now! Both girls can sweep crumbs with a brush into a dustpan, clean the bathroom (mostly - I still do some steps), and even help in the kitchen now after the time they've spent standing on stepstools when I say, "Hey, guys, check this out!" :)
But structured? Nope, not even at 4-1/2 and 8, except for the homeschooling we do with Josie, and even that is a pretty loose structure. :)
-
Hi Kara, following along as I am pretty much the same here too. :-\ T is SO good at entertaining himself, I think I've gotten rather lazy about finding new things for him to do. Am interested in what others say as well.
-
I'm going to jump in as well. I always feel like I *should* be doing something structured but it doesn't seem to happen very much if at all. Now that DD2 has arrived we're not going to be structured for a LONG time! LOL. I like what Sarah said about learning by living. It's a good way to think about it without bringing on the mommy guilt.
-
Kara I have wondered this same thing many times! I like that "learning by living" as well - a good way to think about it!
We do very little on Mondays and Tuesdays. And Fridays. And most afternoons. :-[ But before the snow we really did have a much better "outings" schedule and I hope that we are able to get back into it in the spring, that the winter hasn't made me lazy.
The reality here is that in the mornings I sit on the floor and let DS dictate what we are playing. Which is everything from Little People to play kitchen to colouring, to DVDs (which means getting all of the DVDs out, him choosing one, pushing the buttons on the DVD player and then changing his mind. So we can play DVDs for an hour without actually watching any of them ::) ), to playdoh, and so on. When he does get into something I leave him but he lasts 5-10 minutes before dragging me back.
In the afternoons we tidy up and do some house work and get dinner ready - he'll play in the kitchen sink full of water or stand at the counter and throw veggies or dump a bag of rice on the floor (ie/ help mommy) but that's really it - there isn't much time from the end of his nap at 230 until we eat dinner at 430 so it's pretty frazzled.
I make sure we go into town one morning a week, we go to the pet store, have a run around the mall, maybe sit in the bakery and have a snack, and chase the pigeons around the town square. We used to do this like 3-4 days a week but with the weather, no.
We only have one playgroup during the week :(
So at home, no....we are very unstructured and I don't plan much out. I would like to, I think I should, as we are both getting bored, but don't know where to start, kwim?
-
It actually makes me feel better to know that others aren't 'doing' things all day long. I don't know why I feel as if I have to. I just feel that if he was at a day care, he would be around other kids and learning more. Plus, nowadays day cares are like mini schools with how structured they are.
I do like the learning from living. Although, my LO likes destroying more than helping...lol. If a laundry basket is out, he takes all of the clothes out and throws them on the floor. He also likes to throw papers everywhere, so if I am going through bills and stuff, forget it. Mashi, like you, we used to get out every day when it was nice out. Right now it is so cold and windy, that I have no interest in being outside at all. I fee like once my LO can run around outside, it will be so much better.
I notice that play dough is suggested a lot. Is that something a lot of you do with LO's this age? I feel bad because I haven't even given my LO crayons to play with yet.
-
I JUST gave DS some playdough today for the first time! I've had some that was part of a birthday loot bag from last year, but haven't wanted to let him have it for awhile. It does say 2+, but I thought I'd try it. He was pretty good with it, kept him happy for awhile but really all he did was walk around squishing it in his hands. ::)
I think I have a fear of messy things, and so haven't busted out any type of artsy stuff yet, but am thinking I really should. We haven't tried crayons yet either, but just the other day I thought I should get him some and some paper to colour on. I'd love to get him an easel one day soon.
-
Martina, my SIL has this kid sized table and chairs and she puts a large sheet of white paper over the table. My nephew LOVES drawing all over it. He walks around the house all day with crayons in his hands. I would have never have thought to give a toddler this age crayons had I not seen this.
-
I do have a kid table that FIL made DS for Christmas which is supposed to be for art and craft stuff!! I should pick some up. A few weeks ago when we were at a playgroup DS spent half the time walking around with the cup of crayons. Not colouring with them, he just liked holding them. lol ::)
-
Oooh, around this same age I remembered that one favorite Montessori activities is pouring water from one thing into another. They often start out messy, but usually will refine what they're doing and get surprisingly precise once they get into it.
We set up a small cabinet with a waterproof piece of plastic, a small dry cloth for wiping spills (sometimes several cloths ::)), a medium-sized cup of water, and a bunch of plastic cups you could see through (so yo could see how high the water was) and showed Nat a couple of things with pouring back and forth. This occupied her for a good half-hour or more while I cooked dinner, lasted a couple weeks till she was "finished" with that activity!
As far as Play-Doh and crayons, basically anything that they can make DO something, or anything they can get sensory input from, is GOOD. With Play-Doh they can feel it (and see it), with crayons they make a movement with it and the result is something they can see. Same principle behind noisemaking toys: they shake it or hit it or blow it and sound comes out! :) Oooh, a cookie sheet with shaving cream is primo fun! (This can be done at a sink or in a bathtub too.)And in the summer for two years running, Nat's favorite activity was pouring finger paint onto a big plastic mat we had on the patio and rolling naked in it. ::)
Here's a picture of Natalie "tending bar" with her plastic cups:
-
Deb, that is so cute!!
Martina - That is what my LO does with crayons too! But I bet if I exposed him to them more often, he might actually do something like color with them right?
-
I'm rubbish at structured activities (although I definitely wouldn't label them as actually structured ATM) but do have bursts of inspiration every couple of weeks!!
We have, in the last week or so,
- played with flour and water - sounds daft but it was GREAT fun!! Started with just flour on his highchair tray and then once he (ok we) had played, drawn shapes, and smeared it over everything - I added water bit by bit so that it went from dry - to a dough like consistency and then a wet paste. The great thing was that even though it was all over the kitchen floor - as soon as it was dry I just swept it up!
- made gingerbread - he did all the putting in the bowl and mixing up until the egg as I wouldn't want him to eat raw egg! There was definitely more on the floor than in the bowl by the end but the end product that was left was pretty tasty.
- Used felt tips for the first time - I had an old exercise book and let him go wild. TBH he spent a good 15 minutes looking at all the different colours of the pens and putting them in and taking them out of the box.
The week before...we did nothing...at all!!!
Other than that, he has a favourite nursery rhyme DVD that he watches pretty much every day, and like pps have said DS is fabulous at entertaining himself!!!!
-
Re the crayons and playdoh...
I first gave DS a pen and coloured pencil to play with at about 14ish months...taped paper to his highchair try and showed him how to scribble, and then taped it to the fridge and he was SOOO proud of it! I got my dad to send toddler (ie/ fat) Crayola crayons and a colouring book for Christmas, (I can only find pastels here really, crayons are for older kids not toddlers it seems?) and now we get them out every day. Basically we sit on the floor and he flips through his colouring book, scribbles for a second and turns the page. The crayons are all broken stumps now but once he got over it, he seems happier that there are 16 instead of just 8 ::)
For playdoh, we actually have modelling clay instead. I picked it up one day on a whim, and now that he likes it I will get real plahydoh. He just likes to push it and squeeze it, cut it with his plastic knife and make me make things for him. We made homemade playdoh one day but he wanted nothing to do with it once it was done. No clue why!!
And funny about the table - we have just been browsing online picking one out! We've talked of it for a while but have only managed to shuffle some space around for where we can put it. Little wooden table and two chairs - I like it because he can colour, eat a snack, play with his toys etc. But we also found a mini sofa and plush arm chair set, and he loves the one at the library so I want that, too!!
We do a lot of water play in the kitchen sink....
But I would like to have my days more structured...more organised. More of an "its monday, we're going to play with playdoh and make rice shakers" and "tuesday, lets colour and play matching cards..." and that kind of thing. But I sort of think that 18 months is a bit young for that, as he drops one thing and runs to something else as soon as it catches his eye. So it doesn't really matter what I plan...he dictates!
-
When kids are old enough, consider playing with dry rice. Mine do a lot of "pouring" with dry rice. Give them any sort of container you can think of to play with - ice cream scooper, dry measurer, measuring spoons.
-
I guess it is easier because Enfys is older now. Of course we do coloring and crafts and play doh but not every day. And I do feel guilty that I don't purposely sit down and teach her things but she asks so many questions I think she's learning it for herself!! She loves helping me cook, putting thins in the bowl, stirring, breaking eggs (!), taking clothes out of the wash, and she has a pet rabbit that she helps me feed and on my days off we go to the farm as well and she feeds calves with me. So she may not know all her letters yet but she knows a lot about other stuff.
-
Deb,
I love the rolling naked in finger paint idea. I can already picture DS having a blast covered in paint this summer. Thanks for the idea!
-
When I'm working I don't mind us having a few lazy days per week but when I am off work/nursery, ie before I went back, I used to try and do at least one outing and/or activity each day just so that I wouldn't go crazy with boredom.
-
Deb,
I love the rolling naked in finger paint idea. I can already picture DS having a blast covered in paint this summer. Thanks for the idea!
It's a nice cooling activity. Keep a hose handy tho, for him AND for you!
-
That looks like fun!
-
It actually makes me feel better to know that others aren't 'doing' things all day long. I don't know why I feel as if I have to. I just feel that if he was at a day care, he would be around other kids and learning more. Plus, nowadays day cares are like mini schools with how structured they are.
I think I have had the same worry at times, but it is so bizarre really when most of us would have been brought up learning from just 'being' with our Mums at home, doing little things like playing with pegs, saucepans, watering the garden, sweeping up, 'helping' cook dinner etc etc, so why do we suddenly doubt that this is a good thing?!
I think one thing I think I'm going to start doing is just to make a list of all the activities I would like to do with DS and pop it on my fridge (even silly little things like 'sort out some socks together!), so that it can remind me when I need some inspiration....I suppose like a meal planner! As often I find that when I'm tired I can't think what to do, or I haven't got everything I need to do it (I need to buy some colouring pads etc).
xx
-
That is such a good idea to make list Claire! I'm going to have to try that because I'm always thinking of things I'd love to do with DS and DD1 and then when we actually have a minute to do something I can't remember what I wanted to try. ::)
-
Hey Kara and ladies,
You might want to consider finding a RIE group in your area. Here's their website www.rie.org
It is a parenting philosophy that was founded by Magda Gerber and I find it amazing! It's got a lot of stuff related to BW but what I found intriguing is children's play time from Day 1. The idea is you create a safe environment with regular household objects (ideally objects that don't have electronic sounds coming from it like most toys these days have), so depending on age, things like pots, pans, whisks, spoons, plastic baskets, balls, etc that the child could explore and have uninterrupted play time. When I go to my RIE playgroup here, the facilitator has a room secured with all the objects in the centre and parents just sitting on the perimeter of the area so that the children can go explore and play without parents interrupting them. It is then up to the child to go to it's parent for cuddles etc when THEY want it. I think it's fabulous and me lo has grown so secure and confident in himself since we started.
Check them out!
Viviana
-
Hey Kara, I'm very much like you! No structured activities particularly here and I often feel like I "should" be doing more. We do try and get out of the house at least once a day even if just to the shop.
-
Kara,
I was wanting to know what your LO plays with to keep him entertained all day. AMAZING!!! I have to have whatever you have! Joking aside, I would really like to know what entertains your LO all day. thanks
-
Viviana, thanks for the info.
As for what my LO does? He entertains himself a lot with his various toys. We have play groups and classes a few times per week and we run errands a few times per week. Also, since the weather has been so great, now my LO runs around for hours outside just exploring and again, entertaining himself. When he is inside playing, I will sit with him every so often and play with him. But he is very independent for the most part.
-
I came across this thread a few days ago and feel very similar to all PPs. I'm also a 'learning by living' person, but don't always feel I have the creativity and know how to actively engage my toddler (give me sixth-graders all day and I'm good to go, but a toddler is a whole different spectrum :)). Plus, I believe we have the rest of our lives to live in a structured world. By the time some of these kids get to sixth grade, they're already burned out!!
So, just like others, now that the weather is nicer, there is so much outdoor exploring to do. But, I know eventually we'll get rainy days and another looooong winter. I've been recommended a book that I plan on buying to help me plan and do activities. So, I thought I'd put it on here in case it helps anyone else out. Obviously I can't personally recommend it, but you might want to check it out on Amazon and see if it's something you'd like.
The Toddlers Busy Book: 365 Creative Games and Activities to Keep Your 1 1/2- to 3-Year-Old Busy by Trish Kuffner
Another idea that I've read on a blog is to have certain days of the week relate to certain learning activities, i.e. Monday is Letter Day, Tuesday is Color Day, Wednesday is Shape Day, Thursday is Number Day, Friday is Free/Fun Day. Then, you can do different activities based on the day. I'm pretty sure my 19 month daughter wouldn't get into this quite yet, but I might give it a try this fall when she's two.
HTH
-
Hi
Wanted to reassure you all... My friend teaches parenting courses and the advice they give is that each child should have a minimum of 15minutes "focussed" (doing somthing that the child wants to do and they have your undivided attention for) time a day. That is "apparently" enough to form a loving bonding relationship! I have to say it did make me feel better. My friend was also shocked that this is *enough* time to do that and that's what they teach but it helped me to feel that it's ok to do the housework while DS is entertaining himself - iyswim? ;)
-
Hey guys,
Have been really interested reading all your posts. I particularly liked Claire's post because it really is how I feel. My mum used to do "pantry school" with me when the other kids were at school, but mostly we learnt by being around mum and dad...we grew up on a farm, so there was always something to do, something to explore and my mum (bless her) was wonderful at including us in what she was doing. It's one thing I still admire with her, she manages to include my DS in what she is doing, where as often I get frazzled instead!!!
Definately get some crayons and colouring books for your kids, DS loves putting the crayons in his truck or back in the bucket....He has just started getting interested in little wooden puzzles and things like that (he is 2 now), loves playing in sinks of water, loves being outside with Daddy :) He is fab at entertaining himself, which I think is something that should be encouraged not felt guilty about ;) I want to give painting another go too, last time I tried he just kept putting it in his mouth which wasn't really the idea!! LOL.
As for structure though, no we don't have structured days, we do what we need to do...things are about to get crazy with a new baby too so I may make a list of nice "easy" things we can do together...but basically I would say there will be plenty of time for structure and activities when your LOs learn the "I'm bored, I can't think of ANYTHING to do" phase, for now they just learn and absorb so much from what you are doing, enjoy it!!!!
xxLizzie
-
I go with the flow on days at home. I get bursts of inspiration too, like craft.
But usually find it's a combination of things they like to find themselves. Anything with water will keep them entertained for ages, painting the deck with water, or having a big tub of water (coloured with food colouring) and all sorts of kitchen things. Just need to ignore the mess, keep towels down, and change them out of their clothes at the end!
You can throw soft balls or roll toy cars down a hallway together. Helping to cook small meals is great. Also DD loves to clean things with wipes, so I just give her some and she goes nuts!
Open ended toys are the best, lego, box of cars, tub of animals.
Have to say with most activities they are learning, how to interact with their bodies, how to manipulate things, even when they are only playing with the toilet roll holder! ::)