BabyWhispererForums.com
SLEEP => General Sleep Issues => Topic started by: j9mchn on March 08, 2010, 07:04:23 am
-
I just thought I'd share a technique that I've been using for almost a week which is working miracles! This is from a New Zealand lady called Sharlene Poole- I hope I'm not out of place sharing this on this site. Over the last few weeks I've posted a couple of questions whereby I felt like I was patt/shhing constantly and another where I didn't know how to move from this into independent sleep. It must have been working as a few weeks ago my now 8 week old went down by himself for a couple of days - but then he reverted and I was out of my head with dissapointment. Anyway I tried this technique and from the first time it worked - I couldn't believe it, but its kept on working so it wasn't a fluke.
Here it is:
Wind down your little one with the 4-S's then put them in the crib. Give them a kiss and leave the room. If they fuss/cry wait until it is a consistent cry (ie not a mantra/settling themselves in cry) go into the room with a confident Shhhhhhhh while in there crib put one hand on their shoulder and one on there bum. Instead of patting on the back you sort of push on their bum (apparently this can also help get some excess wind up also) and Shh in time with the bum push - so Sh-sh-sh-sh. Once they start to settle (for my little one within a minute!), slow down the pat and move to a more consistent shhh. Quickly lower the volume of the shhhh and stop patting. Slowly move your hands off them and walk out of the room! So basically you're just settling - you're not sticking around until they're totally asleep.
For me anyway, I usually only need to enter the room 1-2 times and if I need more there is generally another problem eg wind. Wind has been a big problem for us - so don't discount it. Lucky he usually settles within minutes - a darn site better than the 20-40 minutes I was spending in the room before.
I hope this helps some people - would love to hear any feedback :)
-
Hi there
I just wanted to say that I went to Sharlene Poole for advice about our then 5 week olds naps and she provided us with this settling technique as well. We have had great success with it. My now 8 week old DS goes down for his naps well and if he does wake after 45 minutes I use this technique to settle him. Nine times out of 10 he will go back to sleep for at least another 45 minutes if not longer after 1 or 2 attemps at settling. It has been my life saver!
-
thanks for sharing that ladies, i had seen about Sharlene Poole on 60 mins and thought her techniques were quite similar to Tracy's, Im glad that you have found something that works for your LO, we also did a varied form of shh/pat that we altered to adapt our little one, so as long as its in keeping with not leaving them to cry and is teaching them to self soothe then its all good :)
-
My lo is just turned 9 weeks - you've met Sharelene? Lucky thing!
Oh I would never advocate letting them cry - even if the research regarding CIO is controvercial I think whats a few months of my life compared to there entire life! But even with my second LO I found it hard to decipher the mantra cry - but waiting for a "consistent" cry seems to be a way for me to decipher the difference :)
I've been an avid Tracey Hogg reader from the begginning with my now 2 1/2 year old and agree that Sharlene's methods are pretty similar - in fact when I first saw her I thought she must have got her info from Tracey :) But this settling method definitely an alternative that works for my lo anyway.
-
Wind down your little one with the 4-S's then put them in the crib. Give them a kiss and leave the room. If they fuss/cry wait until it is a consistent cry (ie not a mantra/settling themselves in cry) go into the room with a confident Shhhhhhhh while in there crib put one hand on their shoulder and one on there bum. Instead of patting on the back you sort of push on their bum (apparently this can also help get some excess wind up also) and Shh in time with the bum push - so Sh-sh-sh-sh. Once they start to settle (for my little one within a minute!), slow down the pat and move to a more consistent shhh. Quickly lower the volume of the shhhh and stop patting. Slowly move your hands off them and walk out of the room! So basically you're just settling - you're not sticking around until they're totally asleep.
This may be a stupid question but what position is your LO in when you do this? Lying on his/her side? Back? Tummy? It seems to make the most sense with the baby on his/her tummy but I know no one really does that anymore.
Anyone know of a video that we can see outside NZ? Anyone care to put one on YouTube??
-
My little one lies on his tummy but it is demonstrated on NZ video on their sides. Don't think it would work on their back.
Perhaps I should get my husband to video me settling and put it on YouTube!
-
Lo sleeps on her back so when we shush pat her we put one hand on her shoulder/chest and patted on the side of her thigh up near her bum...seemed to work a treat.
-
Hello, my 13 week old was doing quite well with the shh-pat initially. He's been a terror at sleep time since he was born but at 8 or 9 weeks (I only started BW at 6 weeks and even then it's a very, very flexible schedule), we had a breakthrough and he was able to settle himself to sleep with a bit of mantra crying for most naps and for his bedtime too. But a couple of weeks ago, everything regressed (might be because I started introducing dummy to extend his nap and he got a bit hooked). So I decided to go back to step 1 of shh-patting until he fell asleep.. I had to use a bit of pu/pd as well. He's now able to settle himself most times now except for the evening (still not sure what the problem is with that). Anyhooow, he couldn't quite settle this morning so I gave Sharleen's technique a try and he settled within the minute!! I was amazed!! Most times once he gets worked up, it can take up to an hour to finally settle him. Will definitely be trying this in the evening as that's his most unsettled time and will see if this works..
I actually live in Auckland and have contemplated renting Sharleen's DVD to see her settling technique. I might just do that now just to get a better idea of what she does here. Thanks for posting this.. fingers crossed that it does work well tonight...
-
Just posting my spot in case someone finds a video of this. Would love to see it in action.
-
Thanks for posting your success. I was astounded when I used it the first time too - even though its only a slight variation on the other patt/shh! Good luck with tonight.
I did actually video me doing it yesterday but it was too dark. Will try and get one done with curtains open today!
-
Would love to see the video too. Can't picture the bum pushing.
-
Bump!
does anyone have videos or pictures showing Poole's sleep settling technique?
-
I too would love to see a video.
-
How do you bat the LO's bottom when they are laying on their back in thier crib?
-
Is it possible to get a better description of the 'bum pat/push'? Is it a push/pat combination?
-
have you tried on Youtube? I think theres a video there
-
Hi everyone,
I found this YouTube link on Sharlene Poole. She showed how she does the bum shush-pat on a baby who is sleeping on his tummy. I suppose we could modify the technique for side sleeping. I doubt it'll work for back sleeping though. I'm going to try it on my ds's naps tomorrow. I'm not quite comfortable putting him on the side during the night.
http://bubsyboo.com/tag/sharlene-poole/
-
Has anyone tried this with their normal shh/pat technique for back sleepers?
-
marking my spot-have to come back
-
Hi found the link with the video of bum push ;D
http://bubsyboo.com/tag/sharlene-poole/
Hope it works. Will try it tonight ;-)
-
Prana: are you going to try Poole's method on back sleeping? If so let us know how you do it. Good luck. Let us know if the method works.
-
I wonder if it works as well on the back. Curious to see how you get on. Watched the video - looks so easy! I wish...We used to pat ds2's bum, but really it was his diaper in the crotch area. Of course, for us it became a prop to the point where he would ask, saying "pat bum mommy". ::)
-
well i tried it and it worked!!! unbelievable!! I watched the whole clip and she is right that wind is a problem with settling - will try this technique for a while and see how I go! she shows the technique around the 5 min mark I think maybe 4.30mins
-
Can't wait to try this out! Wonderful!
-
Amy, did you try it on back sleepers or tummy sleepers?
-
side sleeper! - Leath - worked on second nap too!!! whoo hoo - twice this morning in her cot....I am on a roll....thank you original poster!
-
j9mchn - quick question - so I go in do it - do I wait for her to fall asleep or just settle? then if I need to go back to I wait for the constant cry again?
-
Definitely going to try this!! Thanks for posting!
-
I'd be interested in finding out a bit more about Sharlene Poole's methods. Does anyone know if there's a book or a decent website, or do you just have to buy her DVD?
I saw that someone said she recommended this method for extending naps. I wonder how that works? I have the feeling that it would take forever with DD, as she rarely cries when she wakes up after 45 mins. Would you have to leave her until she either went back to sleep or started crying seriously? That may take a very long time, and doesn't really sound quite fair on her. Any thoughts?
-
Hello everyone
I was one of the original posters on this thread - I can't believe it was 7 months ago! I tried Sharlene's method because shush/pat was just getting my lo more worked up. He was really, really windy (and later diagnosed with reflux) and I found that the bottom 'pushing' worked really well to release the gas and he definitely preferred it to patting on the back. We were using it primarily to re-settle him when he woke early from his naps as he was quite good at getting to sleep, just not staying asleep. It really is a modified version of shush pat, but we found, especially when he was very little, right from the first time we used it seemed to work in helping to get him off to sleep. At the time we were so relieved that we had found something that would get him back to sleep without having to stay in the room for hours on end (this was a huge issue for us as we had a toddler who was trying to adjust to having a new baby around as well).
Anyway, I would use the method until he was calm and nice and relaxed but not asleep so that he would still learn to go to sleep himself. If he then didn't settle once I left the room, I would leave him for awhile and then go in and do it again. Usually, it would only take 2 attempts to get him back to sleep, but if on the 3rd (or sometimes the 4th if I thought he was so close to getting there) he was still not settling, I would stay in the room using the method until he was asleep. Like shush/pat it is all about consistency with its use. BTW we used a wedge for his side sleeping.
There were occasions it didn't work (but more often than not it did work) and it did become a prop for us BUT that was because I was rushing in to him too soon and not giving him the opportunity to settle himself (he rarely cried on waking and would just grump and groan for AGES and AGES, so I ended up going in as soon as I heard him rather than just leaving him and letting him do his thing for awhile first, so he began relying on me to get him back to sleep) - so we stopped rushing in and went back to the original plan and along with tweaking A times (which was also very important for us) eventually he did get the idea and his naps lengthened.
Sharlene's website is www.littlemiracles.co.nz, not sure there is too much more on it than the video already posted on here with regard to the method of settling.
Hope this helps a little - I certainly know what it is like to desperately try and get your lo their much needed sleep!
-
i wish i had known this a year ago!! hehe thanks for sharing :)
-
Hi
For those who have successfully used Poole's method on side sleepers, do you push the bum towards the baby's back or towards his side?
I propped my LO on his side (at around 45 degrees), but the "bum-push" seems a little awkward. Would really appreciate some description for those who had done the "bum-push".
-
I have had a little success this morning with ds on his back (can't easily put him on his side as he is swaddled in a miracle blanket). I find that if I put my hand on his left hip and kind of push in towards his body he seems to respond okay. Really it is a kind of jiggle. I wonder how much the movement is what soothes them. Anyway, I have managed to get ds fall asleep in his crib for the last 3 sleeps doing it this way (I'm sure it mostly has to do with timing and darkness, etc., but I will go with this). Granted i am pushing a bit long (even while he is quiet and drifting off), but I figure if it eases the transition to falling asleep in the crib I will go with it and gradually reduce it over time.
This is our first string of successes so I think it might be the jiggling aspect that works? On their side I would imagine you would push towards his head, otherwise he might get tippy iykwim? However, I figure if you find something that works with you go for it!
-
I tried it on my back sleeper too today, with a very rough approximation of the movement, and it was very successful. I just put a hand on her chest and sort of patted/pushed her thigh/crotch area with a rhythmic "shshsh". That seemed to be enough to calm her down. I slowed it down when she was calmer then escaped as soon as poss. For two naps I had to go in several times, and at bedtime not at all. I hope it lasts! This is a definite improvement on shh/pat for ages, which was actually starting to annoy her... She seems to go to sleep better without me, at least today!!!
-
Netmouse - that sounds like just the way I am doing it. I am too scared to leave the room or even his side yet though. I am still keeping a hand on him until he is pretty much asleep. :P. But I just got him down in his crib for the third nap today this way and without any crying either! Up until last night I was patting and some rocking in my arms usually until he was asleep.
Am hoping I can gradually move to the point when I can escape.
-
I just starting trying this the past 2 days. I've got a baby who rolls from side to side though while she settles herself. She also gets up on her knees and hands to rock and is generally all over the place while I'm trying to push her bum! LOL I find I have to get her more settled in my arms so that she's not so active once I lay her down.
-
there is another way to do pat/sh that we did, as Caleb was a refluxer and didnt like being patted on his back we patted the mattress instead, so exactly the same as doing it on the back, firm and rythmic but just did it on the mattress near his head. we found this worked just as well and because he was sleeping on his back we didnt have to move him. perhaps you could try that as well?
-
Aidenmc and Netmouse: how long were your kids' naps using this method? Were you able to extend naps past the first sleep cycle? I was able to get LO to sleep using the bum-push (or a variation of it on my side sleeper), but was not very successful at extending LO's naps. Will try again later.
Thanks OP!
-
pixelbox - both the first two naps were 1.5 hours each. I went up for the first to httj but didn't really need to. The second nap I didn't go up. This is a definite improvement over the usual 45 minute to 1 hour naps we normally get. I can sometimes extend using httj, but only every couple of days or so. I also sometimes extend by nursing and/or holding and rocking and patting. Have not tried to extend using this method or real s/p.
So, I thought I was doing so well. Third nap was a little harder to get him down but no actual crying. However he woke after I left his room and i tried for 1hr 20 to get him back to sleep and no go. So, he basically had 20 minutes sleep from 1:40 to bedtime and he was pretty hard to settle at bedtime (I couldn't get close to the crib with him awake as i had enough trouble getting his feed into him). Guess tomorrow is another day.
-
OK, this is working brilliantly for us! Thank you for sharing.
-
Leath did you use this for nap extension as well? did you wait for Wylie to cry constantly or did you go in before this happened?
-
Amy- yes, I used this for nap extensions as well and yes I waited for a constant cry. Really working for us. Especially when he's on his tummy.
-
Oh wow this post has bumped up again!! So glad to hear people are having some great success like I have.
My lo is now 9 months and I can still use the technique. I recently had to do some settling "retraining" after he was sick where I was feeding him all the time to ensure he was gettign the fluids he needed. Inevitably this became a habit when he was well. Two naps doing this technique and we're back on track again!
Sorry to those people I did do a video all that time ago - but could never get it uploaded to youtube - I have even tried again just recently and no joy!
-
I think I am going in too late - resulting in OT!
When you say a constant cry do you mean - wa wa wa wa with no break?
My little one does cry but stops for a few seconds and then starts again??
-
I just do it on the "Does she need me?" instinct and it seems to work so far. She doesn't cry as constantly as when i'm sitting by her doing ssh/pat.
-
Hi all,
I know this was an old thread, but I just HAD to write in it and say thankyou thankyou thankyou!! Also this might help other mum's out there whose baby's fight the shush-pat.
I just have not been able to wean my 4 month old off rocking in arms to sleep - she fights sleep every step of the way, especially during the day (Yes, she's spirited ;)).
So in my usual internet searching for an answer I came across this thread and thought I would give this technique a try as I didn't have anything to lose.
So I thought - I'll try it until my back gives out (where I usually have ended up with other techniques)
Well! My little one has gone from fully awake to fast asleep in her cot in 12 MINUTES FLAT! For her MORNING DAYTIME nap!
I have NEVER before settled her in her cot! To say I'm stunned would be an understatement.
It took me a minute to figure out the push-pat rhythm, but once I got it she quieted right down and drifted off.
Anyway, just wanted to say thankyou again to the original poster - you never know how the advice you share will keep on giving (especially to this desperate mum!)
:)
-
No time to read this right now but always good to learn new techniques! Will be back. :)
-
https://youtu.be/AjN8tOofX0w
A video demonstration by Sharlene herself.