BabyWhispererForums.com

ACTIVITY => E.A.S.Y. Forum => Topic started by: *Liz* on July 21, 2010, 06:34:31 am

Title: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Liz* on July 21, 2010, 06:34:31 am
We have decided to restart this thread to return it to its intention - which is to provide somewhere for Mums following EASY and BWer techniques with more challenging touchy babies to discuss issues relating to this and find solutions and support amongst Mums with similar difficulties.


Please have a read of this before continuing.

How to use this Support thread
(most of this 'entry' is borrowed from the "Birth Club Rules of the Road" and modified - Thx to the Site Admin Team for composing it)

Many of our members have found it beneficial to talk with other parents who have Touchy Babies.  The support thread is intended to be a place to discuss with, help and support fellow parents who are dealing with similar milestones, trials and tribulations.  It is wonderful to have that company and a shoulder to lean on.  In order to keep the thread open and inviting to all parents, the thread will continually be locked after 30 pages and restarted.

We do request that the topic is kept to issues surrounding raising touchy babies. Please use the appropriate birth clubs for more general chatter.

The role of the moderators is to review the support thread to ensure content is appropriate for the site, provide support to members, and help guide members to the main EASY board or other forum boards for additional help when issues arise that would benefit from their own thread & "airtime".  Examples might be sleeping or settling problems with their babies.  On the EASY main board and in other forums members often receive larger ranges of answers and support and other members benefit from hearing about others' problems and how they were solved, without having to wade through lots of pages of daily "chit-chat".

A gentle reminder may be posted by a moderator to encourage you to post on the main EASY board or another forum board if they feel your question could be better answered by the larger community.  We urge you to follow through and post elsewhere, as you will see more support and advice from more experienced members.  Please feel free to post a link in this thread so that others can chime in with support as well.  If you choose to leave your post here, it will likely be split from the thread and moved to the appropriate forum by a moderator.

We also hope that you share your experiences throughout the community.  Even if you are a new parent, you can offer support and hugs to another.  We all started out as the new parent on the boards without the experience.  We all learn from each other and your advice and support is valuable to us all.  Please do not feel like you do not know enough information to post or that your input is not valuable - we are all parents who want the best for our babies, and we all have something unique to add to the boards.

Thanks folks.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: anielasmommy on July 21, 2010, 11:37:19 am
ok thanks Liz
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: anielasmommy on July 21, 2010, 12:29:44 pm
ok mamas i need help/input here my thread. http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=175233.msg1975498#msg1975498
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: JPJ on September 02, 2010, 01:58:57 am
I have a 6 month old daughter (my third child) who is "touchy" - reflux, allergic to cow based formula.
After putting her on EASY three weeks ago, she is now taking a 2 hour morning nap, and is taking a shorter nap in the afternoon, settling at 7:30 for the night, very easily in her crib.  I am feeding her at 11:00 (dream feed) but she is still waking at 1:00 and 4:00.  She started solids at 4 months per my Pediatrician, and is having cereal in the morning with fruit, two veggies at lunch and cereal in the evening.  I primarily breast feed, as I  have taking dairy out of my diet.  When I do supplement, I use Nutramigen - generally a 6 oz bottle once a day.  She nurnses at 7 am, 11 am, 3 pm, 7pm and then at 11:00 pm.  (But I am also feeding her when she wakes in the night, as I have 2 other children who are back at school, and a very busy husband.  I can not leave her to cry/ pu/pd in the middle of the night.)
Any suggestions?  Would anyone recommend giving the formula feed at the 11 pm, to see if it would tied her over?  Help- I am tired!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Kiwi_one on September 07, 2010, 08:55:09 am
Hi there :) Welcome to BW.

This thread is really for discussion of issues around babies being touchy (e.g. advice on winddown routines, blacking out bedrooms, the most effective white-noise), rather than for going over your EASY, so I'd really recommend posting on one of the main boards so you can get more advice on it. You could try the EASY board or one of the feeding boards.

In the meantime, I would hazard a guess that the night-wakings are habitual, since they're at the same time each night; hunger wakings tend to be random. By 6 months, pretty much all babies (even refluxers, if medicated and drinking well) should be able to go 8 hours without a feed, particularly if they're having solids three times a day! If it's a habitual waking and she's not hungry, giving formula at the dreamfeed would most likely not stop her waking. I think you'll have to bite the bullet and sort out the night-wakings head-on. Wake-to-sleep is a technique that might work, as it can stop them waking up at their regular time; there's a thread on it here http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64168.0. Otherwise (or if W2S doesn't solve the problem), you could try cutting down the length of time you feed for at night feeds bit-by-bit, to wean her off the calories at night, working towards dropping the night feeds altogether within a week or two. Seeing as it's taken so little time to get her into a routine, she should handle the change well and hopefully it won't involve any crying and waking others up :) Here are a couple more threads on weaning off night-feeds: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=87815.0 and http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=46907.0.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: 1elyk on September 10, 2010, 13:25:12 pm
Hi there sorry I am really new to this site was recommended by a freiend that I might get some help.

Short story I have a 16 months old daughter who pretty much crys extremly loudly the whole time she is awake, she naps great and now sleeps great (which was a long process in itself) but whenever she is awake she cries, she is very serious, grumpy she frowns a lot, she hardly smiles  and she is moany, she tells me no, no, no all the time and I am struggling with my unhappy baby cos its making me unhappy.

Its not just something thats happened shes always been like this, she had reflux, but now thats gone she is still unhappy.

Any advise where to post this would help thanks x
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tigerlilly905 on October 11, 2010, 20:50:49 pm
Hey Touchy Mamas

I need your help/advice/hugs... do you mind taking a peak at my post.. any advice is appreciated!!

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=179768.msg2041001#msg2041001

Cheers!  Rebecca
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Nitha on November 19, 2010, 15:39:50 pm
Does anyone have a touchy baby/spirited toddler combo?  If so any advice would be much appreciated over here!  I'm just exhausted!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Jiinx on November 19, 2010, 18:10:08 pm
hi there Nitha!

Oh my. Touchy AND spirited? You've got your hands full, I'm sure.

Is your lo a toddler? Maybe you'll find more luck here:
* http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=174841.0

It's a bit more busy than it is here....
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on January 23, 2011, 18:54:06 pm
Hi everyone!
It's my first time in Touchy Baby Support!  Looks like I should stop by more often :)  I have a thread going in the Activity forum, any touchy baby related advice I can get would be great
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=185612.0
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: madirose on February 28, 2011, 22:30:51 pm
Hi All,

I'm new here - and looking for some help :)  My little girl is 7 months old this week, and she's a textbook spirited baby with a definite touchy streak.

The problem we're having is clinginess with me. It started @ 4months, and now she cries if granparents approach her, and my hubby even gets tears if she can't see me in the evenings. She cries through her bedtime routine and is inconsoloable with him if he soothes her at night. She gets progressively clingy and cranky throughout the day. We're on a typical 4 hr easy and she just dropped the CN (although more sleep doesn't help anyways...)

Just looking for ideas to help her be more comfortable with other people, and for hubby to be able to do the bedtime routine without her melting down. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tigerlilly905 on February 28, 2011, 23:41:25 pm
Hi Madirose :)  Yup, that's DS to a "T"... since about 6-8 wks he's had trouble adjusting to most people. TBH it seemed like he had SA from that point on. We have to take everything new VERY slow and consistant, and even still, he has quite a bit of SA.

What I can say is that it does get better. Like your DD, I was THE ONLY one who could do bedtime/sleep ect. (and even now if he's teething or really upset I'm the only one who can still do those special times) But what we did to help get him used to DH doing winddowns for sleep was to start with naps (he's more receptive to change at that time...)  Would it be possible for your DH to help starting with naps (if he's home at that time some days?)  and then maybe progressing to bedtime?  As you said, most touchies get more sensitive as the day goes on, so maybe the morning nap would be the best place to start?

As far as helping her be more comfortable with other people, she NEEDS to feel secure, so making them go "cold turkey" can only make it worse.  I'd suggest morning visits (again when they're usually "less" touchy) and maybe ask people to come to you (to an environment she's used to) as opposed to you having to go to an unfamiliar place to her AND having her be with "strangers", kwim?  Also, ask guests to give her time and space.  All babies need some time to acclimate themselves (but touchies take LOTS of time)  People have to have respect for babies, and I know it's hard b/c many won't understand. They might say things like you're "making" her be clingy, when in actual fact, you're just respecting who she is as a person.  So even if you do have guests come to the house, ask them not to grab/touch/get in her personal space right away.

We started bringing DS to a reading group at the library at 10 months (at a time that didn't interfere with his EASY/naps)  and it took him a good 3 weeks to actually enjoy it, but it did get there. Time and patience is key for sure.

It will get better, I promise.  But like I said, DS is 11 months and it's still a huge challange. He's a wonderfully happy boy, but needs his security, routine, comfort ect.  Just remember your DD doesn't have a voice right now, and needs you to advocate and be that voice for her. If she's uncomfortable, scared, ect. she needs you to tell people that so she has her time to adjust. 

Hope that helps a little. ((hugs))
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: madirose on March 01, 2011, 14:30:51 pm
Thanks for the reply and encouragement, Tigerlilly.

You're right on with a lot of that stuff for her, too. Lately we've asked Grandma to not be so "enthusiastic" right when she arrives, but rather to give LO some time to warm up. I do encourage her to go to other ppl, but never 'force' her when she's clearly overwhelmed. I do work a couple of hours per week and have to leave her, so Grandma just puts her in the stroller and takes her for walks the whole 2 hours I'm gone, which is the only way to really keep her content. Her Dad is able to put her down for naps (on the weekends), which is an exciting step. I think that the problem with bedtime is just that its "meltdown" time.

LO is a funny combination, because she is also really spirited. She loves checking out new places, and even watching new people. She actually prefers complete strangers to her grandparents, because strangers usually keep their distance and never try to pick her up! She's a happy little camper when she's tucked in her stroller checking out the world around her, or attached securely to me (carrier, sling or just holding on really tight!)

I kept hoping that more naps would help, but as her EASY has solidified her naps have increased from 20min to a good hour or hour and 15 min most times, and she does wake happy and rested. She has just dropped the CN for about 10days now, but it hasn't affected her mood either way.

I'm thinking that introducing a stuffed animal may be a good idea - any experience with this? I'm hoping it will be a comfort object when she does start to get some distance from me. She sleeps with a soother, but I'd rather not use it during the day. Right now we offer it starting at dinner time if she's having a rough day since that last hour before bedtime can be hard for her.

Guess I'll just keep going with what we've been doing, and hope she outgrows this quickly...
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on March 01, 2011, 17:39:05 pm
Hi madirose!

From what I've read separation anxiety is definitely normal between 6-9 months, and I feel like my touchy LO has had it from day one, lol!  My husband cannot calm DD at night at all either (honestly, it took 2-3 months before they even were able to get a good father daughter bond).  So, we've just kinda split all of our duties, I do most of the feedings and comforting and bedtimes, and DH does the playtime when he is home.  We started having DH give her her bath at night, but she's teething and started getting upset during her bath, so I started doing the bath again...we worked in a bit of daddy time between bath and bottle for DH to sit and read with her, or just chat since he is now missing out on bath time.

I think you should definitely prepare yourself for the possibility that she may not outgrow this.  At least that's what we are trying to do :)  DH now understands DD a lot better, so we've taken on the team approach with relatives.  He will lay down the law at any of his family functions, and I do the same with my family.  Luckily I was a very touchy baby, so I have support from my own mom.  However, our LO is the first really touchy baby in my husband's family, so it's been a little more difficult for him.  His mom is taking DD's stranger anxiety very personally, almost like she thinks its intentional, that we created it, or that our baby intentionally does it to make grandma upset (weird, I know).  DD is also very observant, and loves to look at everything, but as soon as people get too close she gets upset, so we have a bunch of things that we've started doing to make things easier for our LO.  We started taking her to a quiet room as soon as we get to a gathering with a lot of people, we take her out of her car seat in the quiet room, and then slowly start bringing her out to the action.  Other people can hold her, once she gets used to the noise, movement, etc.  BUT, we always have them hold her with her back against their chest, not over the shoulder or cradled, that way she can see us and all the things that are going on that she really wants to see.  We also gave DD a blankie.  We just used one of her cotton receiving blankets (we have two of the same pattern, so we always have a backup in case one needs to be washed, lol).  I think introducing a lovey will help your little one.  We pull her out of the action if she starts to get fussy, and we go do something that she likes to do at home (we've started bringing her jolly jumper around to every house we visit, lol).  Once DD gets older we fully intend to bring some toys and books to strange houses and set up a safe place for her to escape to where she won't be bothered if she gets overwhelmed (not sure how this will go over with the in laws, hopefully they will just learn to accept her personality and not try to turn her into something she is not).  Hopefully you can figure out some things that will help your LO, remember that you are her best advocate, and things may get better once you can start educating people on her signals, and what she likes (I find it amazing that all these women who have had babies will completely ignore my LO's actions and signals and just do what they want to do with her, so I've just started telling them what everything means!  I am also not opposed to telling family members that my baby is not a doll, toy or dog, and that she is actually a person, lol)

Keep up the good work!

P.S.  I think people forget that at this point everyone but mom, dad and siblings are strangers...which means that even grandparents are strangers when babies are young.  It just takes time, and lots and lots of time for some babies to get used to even grandma and grandpa.  Personally, I'd rather have a child that is weary of strangers, even if that means grandma gets a little offended at first :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tigerlilly905 on March 01, 2011, 19:46:08 pm
Brooke, you make some awesome points as well :) It's true, I think some touchies will change/ grow into their own a little, but you're right, I believe most will be like this their whole lives.  It's just our job to help them along the way ;)

Also, agreed re: touchies seeming to have SA since birth.. I really think that's a touchy trait.  DS was the same. They're just so sensitive to energies/ people ect. 

Madirose, I think introducing a lovey is a great idea.  We started around 9 mos I think... by putting his bear in his crib with him for naps/bedtime and saying "here's your bear, he will stay with you while you sleep", and also we include him when we read stories before sleep and cuddles.  It took him a while to take to it, but he loves him now.  :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: madirose on March 02, 2011, 14:12:56 pm
More good encouragement, thanks ladies.

I really have my hands full with her since she is an energetic spirited baby, but with the clinginess of being touchy. I actually really enjoy her spirit, but I'm finding the touchiness harder to manage. I just want her to feel and be comforted by her dad's love, and for me to be able to leave the house without her crying the WHOLE time...

Grandma does take it a little personally, but she's getting to be more understanding once we've explained LOs personality and given her some pointers on how she likes to be approached (holding her facing out, giving her some distance, etc). What works best actually is putting her in the stroller and going for walks! LO can completely forget who is pushing her, so she's happy :) Unfortunately today its cold, windy and snowy, so hopefully they manage okay while I'm out for my meeting. It's hard enough leaving the little cutie pie, without feeling like her world is ending. I really think its reasonable for me to work 4 hours a week...just can't convince her :p
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on March 22, 2011, 12:27:53 pm
Hi all - I'm joining this thread as I too have a touchy LO!

madirose - my DS sounds similar to your LO in that he really struggles with other people, esp his grandparents.  I have asked them to look after him & he gets so so upset & distressed if they pick him up, to the point where he refused his feeds.  Last week my mum looked after him at our house & he started crying the moment she arrived.  I feel so awful as his grandparents are all itching to give him a cuddle, play with him etc but he just gets so upset.  It's heartbreaking leaving him knowing he will cry the whole time & I just end up sobbing too, so I hardly ever do it.  Not sure if this just exacerbates the problem though??

Fortunately he is fine with his daddy though so at least I can share the load a little.  What you are going through must be REALLY REALLY hard.

We have found the same as you that the best thing for DS is putting him in the pushchair - he doesnt mind being pushed by nannie or grandma at all.  I think that's really funny.  Maybe he just doesnt like them getting in his personal space.

I must say I do find that he copes better if people come to our house rather than us going to them, and I've started to tell our family not to speak to him when they arrive, just come in, sit down & talk with us.  That way it gives him a little time to adjust to them being there & he seems much more comfortable this way.  At the minute holding him is pretty much off the menu - its just a step too far & it freaks him out, even if they hold him facing us (although we've had a breakthrough with his grandpa who's held him for 20mins at the last 2 visits!!).

I'm hoping this will all change in time as I'd love for him to be able to enjoy going out for the day or overnight to his grandparents.

Having said that I think I was a touchy baby & I still feel uncomfortable in new/unfamiliar surroundings or with unfamiliar people.  Maybe it is something that never leaves you but you just learn how to cope with it better.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Kta400 on March 24, 2011, 16:17:24 pm
I have a touchy LO and we have been having a hard time getting him use to the car and going for walks in the stroller! I thought those were suppose to be calming! :) He cries once he gets in the car and we are moving and he cries when we are out on walks. I am trying to get him use to both but would love any advise!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on March 24, 2011, 16:41:55 pm
How old is he?  If he's still a little guy I can only imagine how overwhelming it all is, despite the calming effect of the motion.  When she was just a little gal, I would cover L's car seat or stroller with a blanket, helped to block out the overwhelming visual stuff, always helped her sleep too, lol.  Maybe try going out just holding your LO or going out with a carrier/baby wrap, minus the stroller.  I know my LO is always more able to deal with new or overwhelming things if we are holding her instead of being by herself in the stroller or car seat.  HTH!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Kta400 on March 24, 2011, 18:04:22 pm
Hi MommaBrooke.
Thanks for you reply. He is 15 weeks but born 4 weeks early. I have taken him out in just the front pack to get the mail and that went well. I will try doing a few more of those ... we live in MN so the weather has been so cold. He hasn't had much exposure to outside but now that the weather is getting a little better I want to get him out if it is above 45 degress.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on March 25, 2011, 21:19:06 pm
OK ladies.  I really need a little advice here on dealing with my touchy DS, if anyone's able to offer some.

DS is crying/whinging A LOT at the moment & its really wearing me down.  My mum thinks he's just a demanding baby who wants my attention ALL the time & is whinging/crying when he doesn't get it, and she also thinks he's a very intelligent baby who needs lots of stimulation & who is getting fed up of being home with the same old toys/scenery so much.

She could well be right about the stimulation thing.  As I'm doing milk feed 1hr before solids & his sleep is all over the place ATM I feel like I can hardly get out the house to do any activities as it always falls at the 'wrong' time i.e. when he needs a feed or a sleep.  So he could well be fed up of being home.  He's always happy to go for a walk.  Do you find with your touchies that its easier to drop the routine & go with the flow a bit more & get out to more activities, even if they do fall at sleep times?  Or is that a big no-no???


Also I'm really struggling to know how to respond to his cries when I step away from him.  It starts even if I only step a foot away.  I realise he's prime age for SA ATM but anything I try just doesnt seem to be helping.  He only stops if I pick him up but I try not to do this too much as I don't want him to come to expect it.  I place him where he can see me & reassure him I will be back.  I've tried peek-a-boo & to make a game of it etc but he still cries.  I don't hover over him all the time & I try & encourage independent play its just like he cant even cope with 5 minutes alone.  He's always been this way since birth, I just don't know how to make him feel more secure.  Any ideas? 

He also has huge stranger anxiety issues.  He screams & screams & screams if anyone other than me or DH hold him.  Its a real utter distress scream.  How do I try & address this?  I'm trying to ensure he sees grandparents regularly & that they don't get in his face too much when they see him, to allow him to adjust to them being there, but no joy so far.  I've also tried cold turkey leaving him with them & that was just soooooo upsetting for him & me.  He wouldn't even take his feed from them.  How will I ever get him to a position where I can leave him with someone else??????
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on March 25, 2011, 22:36:39 pm

  Do you find with your touchies that its easier to drop the routine & go with the flow a bit more & get out to more activities, even if they do fall at sleep times?  Or is that a big no-no???

My LO responded very well to a schedule...I never thought she would, but it really worked out well for us.  I could set my watch by her now, so it really has helped us be able to get out and do things.  If left to her own devices, she would sleep in as much as possible, hardly nap, then stay up late...Which leaves little time for me and makes her one cranky baby, so I started waking her up in the morning, and her naps started to fall into place at pretty much the same time every day.  I think because of her personality she likes the structure, she always knows what's going to happen, so there are no surprises (aside from which route we take on our daily walk, lol)

Is it possible that your LO is teething?  L just cut her two bottom teeth and her max independent play time is only about 5 min ATM.  I understand how frustrating it is when they seem to need you so bad, but if he's teething then at least you have an explanation.

I find my LO gets bored easily, but because she's such a sensitive little girl, she also gets overwhelmed easily.  Just be careful with providing too much stimulation.  My MIL said the same thing as your mum..."She's a baby, she needs stimulation".  Then I explained that my baby is so attentive to everything that even the smallest things are stimulating enough for her.  Hopefully you can find a good balance to keep your little guy happy :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: nednoodle on April 01, 2011, 19:11:08 pm
Hi
So wish I had found this "touchy" area months ago!  My DD is 7 months now and big time touchy.  I read the other posts and am so relieved to hear a familiar story, am sure people think I just exaggerate when I tell them about her.  I had to carry her all day long for her first 7 weeks, she screamed anytime I put her down.  She hated her pram and the car and other people!!  She has improved greatly, doesn't mind her pushchair, still not keen on the car and ok with people she knows.  She has shown signs recently of SA, following me around the room with her eyes!  

Two things I want to ask about.  She still wakens at night and the only way I can get her to settle is to feed her.  I've tried AP her but it takes an hour and a half till she wears herself out.  She is well established on solids now so I can't think she needs the feed (although she does take a fair amount, not just snack).  I wondered if anyone has tried PU/PD on their touchy?  It worked a treat on my textbook DS, but I'm not so sure it would work on her.  She gets in a real state when she's upset, screams, doesn't want comforted and sobs for ages once settled.  I'm nervous about even trying it!  She's also still swaddled!  Have just let one arm out this week.

Other thing is she starts nursery next month, again I'm nervous.  Have started her 2 months before I go back to work as I think it's going to be a slow process.  Worried that the staff will wonder what's hit them.  It's like she eyes people up when she meets them, everyone tries to coax a smile out, but no luck usually.  It's funny because when she is around familiar people she is full of life and screeches at her brother to play with her!

Any advice welcome!  Or just chats!
Thanks, Nikki
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on April 04, 2011, 14:33:46 pm
Hi Nikki!
We used PU/PD right from the start with our LO.  It worked well, but I have never used it for night wakings.  Because she can put herself to sleep, if she wakes at night and can't put herself back to sleep, there is a good reason for it so I don't feel comfortable using PU/PD at night.  She usually has two reasons for waking at night, teething or growth spurt.  I will feed her even if it's teething pain, because eating will usually calm her down.  I can tell if it's teething because she will wake up with a very sharp, high pitched cry, and hungry is more of a low cry for her.  I would probably try to wean the night feed gradually, and get her to eat more during the day, instead of using PU/PD for her night wakings...but that's just me.  You have to decide what you are comfortable with :)

It's like she eyes people up when she meets them, everyone tries to coax a smile out, but no luck usually.  It's funny because when she is around familiar people she is full of life and screeches at her brother to play with her!

It's so funny when people try to get my LO to smile!  She definitely interacts and smiles on her own terms.  I'm sure once your LO gets used to the people at her nursery she will be fine.  It just may take a little more time.  And if you are nervous, she will definitely pick up on that and the transition will be even rougher on her because she will think "If mom is anxious then I need to be anxious too".  It's amazing how our Touchy babies pick up on every emotion we are feeling, DH and I always have to remind each other to relax so that our LO doesn't pick up on the anxiety and freak out :)
HTH and Goodluck!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: nednoodle on April 04, 2011, 20:40:59 pm
Thanks Brooke

We had the night from hell last night, I only got 3 and a half hours sleep.  Def think it's teething, none through, but will be very surprised if they are not here in the next week.  And my normal fail safe feed to sleep didn't work as she refused!  Didn't want anything near her mouth.  It's funny how she experiences everything much worse than my textbook DS did! Fingers crossed for a better night tonight.  She also seems to have the cold permanently, DS brings all the bugs home from nursery.  So I suppose until she is "well" I can't do much about it.
 
I am also still breastfeeding her, not really through choice.  Would have liked to have stopped by now but she vomits every time she takes formula.  She has reflux (no medication though) and seems ok with cows milk in solids.  Health visitors advised wait till on solids and try again which I did but same again.  So they say must be actual formula or too heavy and breast feed till a year old then straight onto cows milk.  Not really what I wanted to hear.  So I never know how much milk she takes in a day and hard to cut down at night.  Am going to wait a while till teething etc settles, I kind of think she only wakes for reasons too.

Thanks for advice, sorry for rambling, lack of sleep does that!

Nikki
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on April 05, 2011, 13:12:39 pm
Nikki,
Sorry to hear about your bad night.  I think touchy babies are bothered much more by the pain of teething than some of the other types of babies.  In a way I'm glad I have the touchy baby as my first, because now I feel like I can handle any type of baby, and if I get a laid back second baby then it'll just be a bonus!  What type of formula have you tried?  There's lots of info on the reflux board if you need some advice on the whole breastfeeding/formula issue.  Lyanna has reflux as well, but we were able to control it with a thickened formula.  She spit up a lot on two other types of formula that we tried, but she did really well once we tried the thickened formula.  I'm a strong believer that you have to do what's best for baby, but you also have to do what's good for you as well, and if you aren't happy about breastfeeding then you shouldn't feel guilty about trying to find a formula that works for your LO.  Hoping you get some better nights and some good sleep!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: nednoodle on April 05, 2011, 14:19:10 pm
HI Brooke
We tried Aptamil formula off the shelf.  We also tried other off the shelf varieties when she first did it, but same result.  It's not really like her reflux, she has a full feed spectacular vomit!!  She doesn't do it with breastmilk, which I know is easier digested.
I am of different opinion to you, I know if I had had Zoe first, I wouldn't have had another!!  It's been really hard work for all of us (but obviously worth it).  Our family is complete now and looking forward to our kids becoming good friends and getting up to mischief!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jakobsmom on April 11, 2011, 15:25:13 pm
I have the same issues.  My son is a spirited/touchy baby with reflux and a milk protein allergy...so the first few months getting all of this figured out was quite difficult.  He is currently on a 3-3 1/2 hour EASY with naps still being an issue...he is four months and should be able to do 4 hours but with his reflux the shorter time frame seems to work better for him.  He is very difficult to keep occupied at times, and gets over tired very easily.  I have to admit that I am know just learning the difference between his tired and hungry cries.  With the reflux and allergy he cried a lot for the first few months and seemed like he was always in pain, but now with meds and hypo allergenic formula he doesn't seem as uncomfortable....hence why I am only now figuring out his needs :(  He needs to be approached slowly by new people, and I always have a hard time with my mother in law.  She comes over and immediately grabs him, and after a couple minutes he is full blown screaming.  He always settles when you carry him around like an airplane so she is always convinced that it is his stomach. (I think he settles because he can see us and what is going on around him)  I repeatedly tell her he is fine and go to settle him and she wont give him back to me!  Last night I had to listen to how he was tightening his legs? so had to be in pain.  She refuses to understand that he is acting strange, she always says he is too young for that.  Erg, it is so frustrating!  I have always had a hard time taking my DS out shopping and to public places, but am slowly starting to expose him by scheduling a couple of outings during the week when he is not so tired.  It can be so difficult having touchy babies, they aren't very 'portable' and friends and family have a hard time understanding this.

However, it does help to know that we aren't alone:)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on April 20, 2011, 02:29:09 am
Jakobsmom your DS sounds a lot like mine the naps being an issue, trouble occupying and tiny window of tiredness before OT sets in. I ams ometimes really scared to take DS out where there are large groups and too much noise...it seems to overwhelm him and people dont understand and just say 'he needs to get used to it' ick!

Its great to know I'm not the only one with a LO like this. DS also has silent reflux, which im sure makes him touchier! I am hoping with time he will improve. He is 6 months now and I think slowly he is getting less touchy, though he seems to need constant reassurance from me at the moment!

DO any of your touchy LOs go from a quiet grizzle or call to all out wail really quickly (esp when in bed)? - Any tips or ideas on dealing with this? - I am guilty of trying to beat the wail just because then he is so much harder to settle!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on April 20, 2011, 09:54:26 am
Hi, Just dropping in to introduce and find some support for my very touchy DD.  She is 4.5mos with silent reflux and suspected food intols.  I think this makes things even more tricky and her a bit more touchy  ::) . I hvae a very spirited 2yr old running around which has proved to be quite an explosive combination!
Anyway, on the subject of sleep, we have an awful time getting her to relax and fall asleep especially at BT. Once she is asleep, she is brilliant and settles herself if wakes most times but getting her to sleep is the issue. For a long time, I always thought pain from reflux causig crying but am startig to think it is missig her sleep window ever so slightly and OS/OT as day wears on.  Just curious how others with touchy babies find bedtime... does your LO struggle to relax ad calm down. Ive had to hold her tightly against my shoulder to get her to sleep after an hour of crying in my ear :P
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on April 20, 2011, 11:20:10 am
Jakobsmom & ZacsMumme - I too have issues with naps - I have to be so careful to watch him like a hawk or if I miss the window all hell breaks loose.  We are in OT territory at the moment, he is screaming, arching, rolling whenever I try & set him down for a nap.  He is also difficult to keep occupied & needs a lot of attention.  He is also overwhelmed by new situations & doesn't like other people (cries when anyone else holds him) so its very difficult to get a break or have grandparents etc look after him.

DS is 8 months old today & touchy with reflux/possible MPI.  We are trialling dairy free atm to see if it makes any difference.  Its taken so long to get to this because I listened to other people saying he's just a demanding & whingey baby & thought it was my parenting skills that were inadequate.

Jen - until the last week we have actually rarely had troubles with BT - he's always been so so tired for bed he's gone down like a dream.  Do you have a consistent winddown routine? We do wash/bath, read a book, bottle, bed drowsy but awake & then we switch on his musical lightshow - it plays lullabies & nature sounds & has a projector & a moving lightshow, and we find that this really helps DS to know what is coming.  We run it for 15 mins and he's usually asleep by the end of it.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jakobsmom on April 20, 2011, 11:40:40 am
Thankfully with my DS bedtime is usually not the issue....mind you he doesn't always settle right away but usually within 15-20 minutes he does.  Naps are a different issue, I cannot for the life of me get him to sleep longer than 45 minutes when in his crib.  I live on a horse farm and tend to do chores in the afternoon....so he takes a lovely 2.5-3 hour nap in the stroller in the barn.  I don't know if it is the fresh air or what because once he is asleep he is stationary, and if I complete my chores before he wakes up I can bring him into the house (still in stroller) and he will continue to sleep.  So frustrating, but at this point in time I am just happy that he is getting a decent nap.  He still wakes up during the night, he gets fed at around 1030-11 (he wakes himself) then on a good night sleeps until 330-400.  Then back asleep hopefully until 7.  We had a problem with getting DS to sleep until he was around 3 months, until we had him on the correct medication (omeprazole) and he was switched to a hypoallergenic formula due to suspected MPI.  He is such a lovely boy happy as a clam at home (until he gets overtired) but his tolerance for the 'public' world is very slim.  If I take him out shopping etc. it has to be after a nap and I can usually only hit one store...two is just too much.  I always dread having to take him out though, he hates his car seat and cries bloody murder when he is in it...it can take 15-20 minutes for him to settle and I know that it is not his reflux bothering him because there are several occasions where he immediately falls asleep and even after a big crying episode will sleep for up to 1.5 hours in the seat.  Before his meds were adjusted he NEVER fell asleep in the car seat.  I really think that it is a case of bordem and the fact that he can't see anyone.  I took him over to my parent's house on the weekend so that I could go and run some errands and my brother was over.  He hadn't seen him in a while and I felt absolutely horrible because my DS just SCREAMED at him, even though we took things nice and slow.  He then proceeded to do the same thing to my dad.  He is ok with my mom though because he sees her quite regularly.  Sometimes when Jakob wakes up it seems like he just decides to SCREAM until you get there, but over the past few weeks I have heard him wake up and chat away to himself for 10-15  minutes.  This is great, I had to tell my husband to just leave him because we are so used to having to respond quickly as all out screaming would generally occur within 5-10 minutes.  I think that putting my DS on EASY (we only started this at about 15 weeks) and having a set 730 bedtime has really helped all of us out a lot, but the naps remain a struggle.  Any tips would be greatly appreciated.  I get so jealous when I talk to other moms, especially a friend of mine whose DS has been sleeping through the night since 3 months (mind you he has a much later bedtime) and naps a solid 3-3.5 hours every afternoon!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jakobsmom on April 20, 2011, 12:39:50 pm
Jen - our babies are very close in age - my DS was born December 11th.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on April 20, 2011, 14:12:32 pm
Hang in there ladies!  My LO is getting much better with going out in public now that she's getting older so I PROMISE it will get easier.  DH and I started taking her out once a day on weekends to a store or other new place (usually to visit our parents or siblings) when she was about 5 months old.  We started with weekends so that DH could be there to help out if she got sick of her stroller and needed to be carried :)  The naps will get better too, I found that 45 min naps meant she needed longer A time, and because she had reflux I had to introduce a second feed in her A time since she couldn't get enough food in her to make it through the nap without waking up hungry.  As soon as we started solids it helped her a lot as well, both with the reflux and with sleeping.  Once your LOs are ready for solids I'm sure the naps will start to improve!  Bedtime can be an issue for us as well, my only advice is to keep an eye on cues, and keep any bedtime rituals short.  I know once L is sleepy, she is ready for bed, and gets angry if things take too long (although that may be the spirited side of her coming through...)  She's 7 months old now and we still only do bath and bottle before bed, which usually only takes about 20 min, then I rock with her until she starts to get squirmy, only because she's go-go-go all day, and that's really the only time I get to cuddle with her (I feel so selfish sometimes, lol).

Jen - I can sympathize, I have the touchy/spirited combo all rolled up into one child.  Part of me can't even fathom having another child because I know it is very likely that the next one will be just as spirited and touchy.  It does make things interesting doesn't it?

Good luck ladies!  We're all in the same boat so feel free to vent/complain/chat :)

P.S.  I gave Lyanna some bread this morning as finger food and she started crying because she didn't like the texture...solids are so wonderful, but bring so many challenges as well, lol.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jakobsmom on April 20, 2011, 16:00:15 pm
MommaBrooke - I am sooo struggling with this nap issue and desperately need advice.  I was trying to get DS onto a 4 hour EASY hoping that this would help him eat more efficiantly.

this is our current day
0400-0430 E (my DH does this bottle and I am going to get him to start to decrease the volume to see if it will increase his am feed) - 140 mL
0700- Awake with activity (wont take a bottle immediately)
0800 E (usually 140-150 mL)
A
Around 0900 is when we attempt S - can usually get him to sleep within 10 minutes but only sleeps for max 45 minutes try to sh/pat to sleep and it only makes it worse
1000 A
1130 -  E 140-160 mL can not seem to make it 4 hours during the morning he turns into an absolute crab do to his minimal nap
1200- out to barn so I can do chores
1215 - S sometimes until 245 or 3
3-330 E 150-160 mL
A
5-530 - E cluster feed 120 mL
515-545 S 45 minutes - 60 minutes
A 700 wind down songs, bath lotion etc.
E 730 100-120mL
S 800
E 1100 (wakes himself up - dream feed just didn't work for us) - 120-140 mL

he really isn't the greatest eater but he is a healthy size and weight so I try and go with the flow with this.  We have only been able to get him to eat 150-160 mL over the past week.  All together he eats roughly 900 mL (30-31 ounces) in 24 hrs

I am just getting so tired of the fights for an am nap as I am sure he is too.  Unfortunately his afternoon nap is generally in the stroller due to my farm chores :(  I know this isn't ideal but it is the only way that I can accomplish what I need to outside during the day.

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on April 21, 2011, 00:49:21 am
MommaBrooke I have just learnt exactly what you were saying about naps, when Zac is ready for bed he dives in, and if I fuss around too much he is over it. We are finding this hard though now as I am trying to extend his A time...and the poor wee thing has just had his first Ear Infection. I am starting to wonder if we need to shorten his BT routine we have had since he was 6 weeks old. (Its abut 1/2 hour - bath, change, feed, twinkle twinkle song then bed) This is because though he can self settle in bed he is starting to get over it and seems like he wants bed when I am feeding him..which sometimes means harder time settling once he is in it!

ClareBear - Its interesting how you have that little musical slideshow, we have a musical night light that fades in and out which he loves now (Though technically he is too old for it at 6 months) maybe these things help chill them out!

Our DS HATED the stroller for a while, we are trying to get him back used to it, not such an issue with the car...it's so frustrating but we are just doing 'mini' walks in the weekend to try to get him comfortable in there.

What makes DS so strange, and it may be the same with your touchy ones too maybe is that he likes to 'see' people and things and be included, but then at the same time it can all be too much all of a sudden ie a loud laugh or if he decides he's had enough. He really likes people from a distance ie 'hello cutie' and a smile. But hates random close ups ie grab his foot and 'hello you' right in his face

We are quite lucky in that he is a good night sleeper most of the time, its just those night when we hear him make a few noises and you think ill give him a minute to settle....within that minute if he isn't back asleep he is exploding with anger, then happy as larry when you get there. <sigh> aren't babies weird and wonderful.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on April 21, 2011, 07:56:03 am
What makes DS so strange, and it may be the same with your touchy ones too maybe is that he likes to 'see' people and things and be included, but then at the same time it can all be too much all of a sudden ie a loud laugh or if he decides he's had enough. He really likes people from a distance ie 'hello cutie' and a smile. But hates random close ups ie grab his foot and 'hello you' right in his face
We have exactly this issue too.  He cannot bear being held by anyone except me or DH & will cry the most heartbroken cry you have ever heard, but if we take him back, he will want to look at the person who just held him.  Its like he's curious from a distance, but they aren't allowed to get too close.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Jiinx on April 21, 2011, 16:19:22 pm
jacobsmom do you have a thread for your situation? You may get more eyes on a thread than here :) :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on April 21, 2011, 16:35:02 pm
jakobsmom - I'm not very good with schedules, lol...but I remember Lyanna wasn't able to do 2h A time until maybe 5 months.  I suspect your little guy may be overtired for his first nap if he is awake for 2 hours (especially after waking up at 4am for a feed).  You may also want to move bedtime back, I know at that age L needed a 12hr night, and I suspect your little guy may as well since he is waking up twice to eat during his sleeping time.  I would definitely post on the EASY forum and see what some more experienced people have to say, and check out the birth clubs too (the parents in the 4-6month birth club will be able to tell you what A time their LO is managing for that age group) :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jakobsmom on April 21, 2011, 23:31:54 pm
Thanks for the info!  I was actually laying in bed last night calculating how long my LO is actually sleeping and thinking that he needs an earlier bedtime.  Also have decreased him to 3.5 hour EASY and for the first time he took a 1 hr 45 minute nap in the am.  Still some other issues to iron out though. 

Really appreciate the input :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Jamichelle on April 30, 2011, 12:52:37 pm
Hi all i am new to this site and could really do with some HELP, i have a 14 week old little girl who crys an aweful lot, she is very draining and i am finding it so hard. I have older children and have never had this problem before.She wants constant attention while awake and only takes short day naps,she doesnt sleep through the night yet :( what am i doing wrong please help, michelle x
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on April 30, 2011, 19:44:58 pm
Hi Jamichelle

I totally understand where you are coming from, I have been in the same boat with a baby who cries a lot and it IS hard.  But you have come to the right place for support!!!  This website is excellent & there are lots of helpful mamas on here to help you get back on track.

If you are new to BW, have you already done the BW know your baby quiz to determine whether your LO is a 'touchy' baby?  Here's the link:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52283.0

With you saying your LO is crying a lot, could there be any pain/discomfort issues e.g. wind/colic/reflux??  Is she feeding well?

My LO also went through a stage of taking short naps in the day at a similar age to your LO.  When they are between 3-6months they often have difficulty transitioning from one sleep cycle to the next (sleep cycles are typically 45mins) and will often wake up & need help to get back to sleep until they learn to put themselves back to sleep.  The sleep boards FAQ's section will take you through techniques you can use to help them with this (sssh/pat, PU/PD, W2S, HTTJ) 

If naps are typically 30mins and there is lots of fussing/crying/screaming when trying to get your LO down and also when she wakes up, it could be your LO is overtired & may need to be put down for naps earlier.  If she's waking happy from the short nap, she may be undertired & need to be awake longer before her next nap. 

Have you visited the EASY board?  It may be that she just needs a little tweak in her routine.  I would suggest posting your routine on there in EAS format and you should get some great advice - the mods on there are really helpful.  If you do the quiz & your DD is a touchy LO, do come back for a chat/rant/moan soon!!!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Jamichelle on May 01, 2011, 08:42:20 am
hiya i have just done the know your baby test and is says i have a touchy baby with a bit of grumpy chucked in for good measure, has anyone got any good tips to help me out PLEASE x
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 01, 2011, 19:35:25 pm
Hi Jamichelle,

((Hugs)) it is hard work aye  :-* For me my touchy DS is at his happiest when he is not tired. I spent months working on his sleep and once he was napping better he was generally happier and 'less' touchy all the time. In saying that we have had ear infections and teething so I am back to square one with him <sigh>

Personally I had to go in and help DS through all his naps for a while till he learnt to sleep longer. At the same time I had to find his right A time.

Not sure if your LO is touchy with other people, but we find outings like the supermarket are good as DS can look out at others but the attention is not on him. As soon as there are too many people all over him he melts down. We make sure for anything new that it is introduced slowly, it may take a few times for touchy babies to accept change.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 02, 2011, 02:45:09 am
So over easter we had DH family all up (his brother and his wife and 4 kids) who DS had never met, plus his parents brothers and sisters. They all barricaded into our house to meet him even though I had suggested to MIL that a more subdued approach may work better....You can guess what happened...We had the BIGGEST meltdown I have ever seen!!!!!! :o

It was like the world was coming to an end and DS could see the eye of the storm! He was terrified. Of course everyone looks as me like I did something to make him react that way, and when MIL couldn't settle him I snatched him away and had to 're-introduce' him to everyone slowly (after a comfort feed in the bedroom which I don't like to do often)

The best bit is MIL decided he was upset because he was hungry not because he was overwhelmed, I wouldn't know...I'm just his mum grr >:(

Anyway, just thought I would share my touchy story of the month....anyone else have anything similar recently?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jakobsmom on May 02, 2011, 12:33:36 pm
Gotta love in laws!  We too had a hard time on Easter - but it was with my family so at least they listen to me!  My MIL is always convinced that his stomach is bothering him when he acts strange with her - sigh.  I just end up taking him back an settling him myself - I really don't care about offending her anymore.  I just told her to take it slow and don't just snatch him up.  One day I was playing with him on the couch and she came in and took him, and it was sooo funny.  He kept looking from me to her then just started screaming!  I always have to tell my FIL to talk quietly to him - as soon as he sees DS he starts almost yelling his name at him like he can't hear.  Super annoying and it always upsets my LO.

We too take DS out to the grocery store etc. to 'expose' him, and when people try to approach him I just politely move away.
I'm sure strangers think I'm nuts - but you do what is best for the LOs.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 02, 2011, 14:28:39 pm
We had a great Easter dinner with my mom and dad.  Lyanna is really starting to love them!  My mom comes over once a week, and Lyanna has really warmed up to her now that she sees her more frequently.  It helps that my mom just hangs back and waits for Lyanna to engage with her...Lyanna will even reach out to her to be held :) 

Had some issues with in-laws though...My MIL said to us that the second baby is ALWAYS more laid back because you make mistakes with the first one and change everything with the second.  Somehow in a roundabout way implying that we have created a baby that doesn't like her grandma, lol, so ridiculous.  My MIL also seems to have taken the approach of "I don't care if you get upset, I'm going to hold you/talk to you/get in your face anyway". It seems my MIL is pretty stubborn and believes that my baby needs to change to suit what she wants...We haven't told her yet that Lyanna is much more stubborn than she is :)  She also keeps asking when Lyanna is going to sleep over at her house...I told DH that a lot of things need to change before I let that happen!  Especially since MIL told us she would just put DH in his crib when he was crying as a baby and let him CIO.  Can't even imagine my little girl getting put through that, because when she cries, you know something is bothering her, so letting her CIO just seems so cruel. 

I laugh about it all now, but I was pretty furious at the time, and had a bit of a cry when we got home.  Anyway, we're lucky we have my parents that we could vent to about the whole thing, and they are so supportive of how we raise our child.  I even heard from my hairdresser (who also happens to be my moms hairdresser) that my mom tells her what a great mom I am!  So nice to hear after having to put up with all the veiled criticisms from my MIL.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jakobsmom on May 02, 2011, 14:45:04 pm
I am convinced that my MIL doesn't think before she speaks.  We had a lot of issues with DS in the beginning with reflux and an unknown MPI.  When we started switching formulas etc. I remember her telling me that he seemed fine on the other formula.  I was furious!  She had only spend max a couple hours with DS and never alone - and has been in Florida for I would say a third of the time since he was born.  I remember thinking how the heck would you know?  She was also very fortunate that whenever she came over she caught him at a good time - ie no screaming.  And the first time she saw how bad it could be she was beside herself because "he has never acted like this for me" - ERG.  I had to laugh though she went back to Florida just before Easter and said 'I didn't get you chocolate, because you don't need it.'  I have been struggling to lose the last 14 pounds from pregnancy - and of course get the tummy flatter and abdo muscles back where they should be.

I have learnt (the hard way after many tears) to just let it slide off my shoulder - sometimes I am better at this than others but I too am fortunate that my parents are great and super supportive.

I also wont let her take my LO overnight, I get a pit in my stomach even when she watches him for a couple of hours.  It is crazy and I am trying to trust her more with him but it is sooo hard.

She is a nice woman, and I am really starting to believe that she just doesn't have a clue :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 02, 2011, 18:52:29 pm
Oh my gosh we are the same! Both my IL and own parents live close and my mu sees Zac every day almost, he loves her and my Dad and has stayed there overnight when we have had to be elsewhere (ie wedding) My MIL said exactly what yours did MommaBrooke, but Zac is our first - I still know its a load of *** though as my mums second (my brother) was touchy as.

My MIL also just grabs him up and then insists on settling him when he bawls at her. MILs can be tough enough even with a 'non' touchy baby hehe. She has him a few hours a week (at our place) and I also always feel ill before and after! (same as your Jakobsmum - she is lovely, but just doesn't get it)

Glad your easter went well MommaBrooke :)


Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Jiinx on May 03, 2011, 01:10:09 am
hey ladies,
 In case you wanted to vent about in laws...

* http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=179826.255
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jakobsmom on May 03, 2011, 11:15:15 am
Thanks for the link!  Was reading some of the posts and I can so relate to some situations - and am very thankful that my MIL really isn't that bad compared to what others are going through!

On the 'touchy' note - DS had four night wakes last night, so unlike him.  I wasn't feeling great last night so my husband fed him at 1030, which I normally do and I did his early morning bottle instead.  I am wondering if this change in routine through him off.  He is teething, but settled pretty quickly with his night wakes - so I am a bit miffed about what happened.  Also had an early wake - another issue.

I know that 'touchy' babies are very sensitive to routine - oh and my husband put him to bed, which again I normally do.  Last Friday I went out with my mom and DH put DS to bed (after much screaming/crying) and we had a horrible night.  Wondering if we should switch things up a couple times a week to try and get him to accept the small changes, or keep with regular pattern.....
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 03, 2011, 13:30:13 pm
jakobsmom - teething + touchy baby = lots of sleep disruption/sad baby/clingy baby/nws/ews, etc, etc.  We are going through it right now with Lyanna's second round of teething, and with the first two teeth her sleep (especially night sleep) was very bad.  I would hear her wake up all the time.  With all the sleep disruption I found it hard to stick with a routine, but I try to keep her as close as possible to her regular nap times without making her OT.  If your little guy is waking at night, even if he settles quickly you may need to adjust his A times during the day to keep him well rested.  In my experience it's better to keep my touchy baby well rested than to try to keep her on her schedule :)  I will even take her out for a little nap in her stroller if she wakes early from a nap because of teething.  Good luck with the teeth, I know it's a very frustrating time when you have a touchy teething baby.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jakobsmom on May 03, 2011, 15:47:24 pm
Thanks mommaBrooke - He only did a 40 minute nap initially this am so I cut his second A time back to 40 minutes and then got another 45 minute nap (he woke in time for his bottle)  Does this mean that I can now go back to his regular A time?  I will continue to try and follow his cues though, as I am sure that today he will be a bit more tired than normal.  I am going to try and do his second nap in the stroller for sure, he generally always sleeps well in here and I just want him to have a decent nap:)  Lots of AP going on here to try and get through this.  Teething is definately frustrating  - and we are still waiting for the first ones to make their appearance.  His gums are notably much harder and there are really white areas top and bottom middle gums.  And he is VERY whiny today - poor guy.  Really considering giving some tylenol before his afternoon nap.....

Whenever I try to put him down so that I can do something he cries as soon as he can't see me - lots of crocodile tears already today.  Something definatley is not right in his little world - sigh
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 03, 2011, 15:54:23 pm
Little Lyanna gets very clingy during teething, if she wasn't eating or in her stroller yesterday I was carrying her around.  Not easy on the back, lol.  I have a Moby wrap that I used last time she was teething to carry her around with me and I'm thinking I may have to use it again :)  I find that Lyanna is able to sit and play on her own while I fold laundry, etc. as long as she has something she can chew on.  I bought some teething rings by Nuk, there's three in the package and they are all different levels of squishiness.  They were easier than most teethers to hold at 4months, and she still really likes them now.  I got them at the drug store, they might be worth a try for you :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 03, 2011, 18:54:35 pm
Jakobsmum we have been going through the same thing...I thought maybe I had the only baby in the world that found teething so awful (most of my friends say their LOs just get a bit bothered) DS doesn't get bothered, he gets really upset and clingy and doesn't want to sleep, but does then only sleep for 35 mins then is a mess :( It has thrown our routine out the window and flared up his reflux.

We have been APing through it too, I am so worried he will forget how to self settle. THe only good thing is that his nights seem to have come right and he is self settling at bedtime so not all bad. I have been giving meds before naps to get him through them...As for hanging out on his own during A time..not a chance. Though he is happy if I am in the room and he is distracted.

TBH he seems happiest when we go out! Maybe it is the change of scene and fresh air.

I am also really interested to see MommaBrookes advice re the naps...as our first one has been 40mins (yesterday) - we ended up with 4 X 40 min naps before bed eeek. I just watched his signs and the clock too....  :-\
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jakobsmom on May 04, 2011, 20:19:23 pm
Teething is horrible - and so hard because we have yet to see a tooth!  He seems to have a few bad days then a couple good again, so it must come and go.  Today first nap was 45 minutes and for the second I put him in the stroller and out we went - got a 2.5 hour nap from that :)  Today seems to be better he's not as clingy and playing more independantly without getting upset.  It is so weird how it seems like the teeth move a bit then stop - his gums are quite red with white regions and I can see teeth (I think) when I blanch his gums. 

Good luck with everything, right now I am more sticking to our E times and just trying to go with the flow with the naps.  Fighting him to extend naps is so not worth it right now.  It just makes him even more unhappy and scream.  Yesterday he did 3 X 45 minute naps and 1 1.5 hour.  He had an early BT too which resulted in an EW, but he was so exhausted last evening.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Love, laughter, & PJs on May 05, 2011, 18:30:57 pm
Hi ladies...Just popping on to mark a spot.  I looked at the Know Your Baby Quiz today and for all the questions I can answer so far for my little Grace's short life she's definitely touchy!  Won't let me put her down, gets easily OS, hates being undressed, and if I miss her sleep window it takes aaaages to get her down.  Fun times!  DS was an angel/textbook baby so this is all new to me.  ::)  Looking forward to getting advice here as time goes by! ;)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 05, 2011, 18:59:39 pm
Well we had the weirdest day yesterday! DS slept 2 X 2.5 hour naps. I was terrified of waking him from them as he NEVER naps that well, but of course last night he wasn't tired for bed and didn't need as much sleep overnight so we were up at 5am. I also thought I would try just leaving him for a few minutes once the calling started to see if he had grown out of the all out wailing after a few minutes and just chill out. FAIL....he had a meltdown :(

Today will be fun.....I was hoping he was having a bit of a growth spurt and would sleep well las night on top of those naps. I was wrong!

Kmk512 welcome :)

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jakobsmom on May 05, 2011, 19:59:59 pm
That's too funny, yesterday we had two short and 1 long nap with DS...pretty good for him.  However, it too did not make the night any better.  He woke at 1130, 0300 and decided to try and start the day at 0500.  He had a pretty unsettled sleep from 5 until 645....I refuse to start the day that early :)

DS rarely resettles himself without assistance once he is awake - however, with his 11 pm bottle he goes back in his crib awake and I hear him talking etc. and usually within 15 minutes is asleep.  He is a bit of a mystery man, I know he can settle himself to sleep, but have no idea why he can't do this at other times.

Oh well, they keep us on our toes!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 05, 2011, 20:43:04 pm
Sounds exactly like what DS was doing a few weeks back. We had no wakings last night, and usually only getting 1 replug around 11.30 but we are also having EW of anywhere between 5-5.45am. DS is WIDE awake and happy as. I can not for the life of me get him back to sleep (I even tried APing him for an hour and it didnt work!) I figure if hes getting 10.5hrs overnight with 1 replug (5mins) I can handle that for now hehe.

I think I might try the W2S on him, I just have to get my bum out of bed at 4am to do it! I am sure he will wake right up though and it will all be over at 4am, he is so sneaky and alert like that.

I wonder if they just cant settle when they are ever so slightly uncomfortable or OT/UT you name it....sensitive souls :P
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on May 06, 2011, 09:53:22 am
Hi ladies

Does anyone else have issues with their touchy LO being scared of the hoover or the hairdryer or shower? 

My 8month DS totally freaked out this morning when I hoovered - I swear he's getting worse.  He literally shook with fear & screamed & screamed.  Its getting to the point that I'm trying to do this sort of thing while he naps but that's not going to help him overcome his fears is it??!  Any tips on how to overcome this????
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jakobsmom on May 06, 2011, 10:56:31 am
I put DS in a sling while I did my chores - but he is younger and probably lighter then your LO.  Fortunately the vacuum doesn't scare him (he actually quite likes its), but other loud noises definately do.  The other day I sneezed, and he was sooo upset his face went bright red and he just started crying.  This also happens when the dogs bark, or there is anyother loud noise.  I think the best thing might be to just keep exposing him and reassuring your LO during the process.  This has helped our LO with loud noises...we are still struggling with loud people though.  I swear some people talk to babies like they can't hear!  Exposing him has also helped with small outings like going to the grocery store etc.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on May 06, 2011, 12:11:42 pm
I'm a bit mystified by it all really.  He used to be ok with the hoover but in the last month or so he's finding it really scary.  And when I take a shower (which he used to have no problem with) he cries as soon as I switch the water on.  Its bizarre!!!  Unless its all made worse by being OT (we are chronically OT at the moment I am sure of it)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 06, 2011, 19:22:12 pm
Our LO is a tad nervous around the hoover/vacuum cleaner. He is usually okay if we have him in the front pack when vacuuming though. He seemed to develop that fear too...around 5 months. He also HATEs sneezes and any loud clanging noise will sometimes set him off into a state.

You are totally right about OT though Clairebear....when DS is OT he is so much more fragile especially around loud voices!

FOr us there is just a LOT of reassurance all the time. When DS got a little afraid of the vacuum I got DH to vacuum while I held DS and reassured him - peeking into the rooms that DH was vacuuming into etc...He now will sit in the front pack on DH while he vacuums :) (most the time)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on May 06, 2011, 19:49:21 pm
thanks ladies.  I do have a baby carrier & he still fits in it (just!) so I may have to try using the hoover with him in it!  If that fails I'll try your tip ZacsMumme and let him watch the hoover safely in my arms for reassurance.

Don't these touchies have funny little ways?! 

I see a few of you are finding it difficult on outings to supermarkets or shopping malls - and are trying to expose your LO's to these sorts of places really slowly.   Its strange as going to the shops has never been a cause of upset for DS - when he's in his stroller he's quite happy to look around & see what's going on - but my DS is a 'look but don't touch' kinda guy.  If a stranger were to talk to him & get too close, he'd get really upset.  Bless his soul!!! I do find though that there's so much going on in shops it can be overstimulating for him & he WILL NOT go to sleep even if he is exhausted.  Its very restricting as it means we have to fit all outings/errands around his naps but its what's best for him.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 06, 2011, 20:09:23 pm
DH turned sneezing into a joke...he sneezed once and scared her, so he started fake sneezing and laughing after to make it funny for her.  She loves it now, she thinks sneezing is the most hilarious thing ever :)  Not sure if you can turn vacuuming into a joke...
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Love, laughter, & PJs on May 08, 2011, 02:10:51 am
Hi ladies...

Having a tough day with my touchy girl over here.  :(  Haven't been able to put her down all day long except for 1 stint where she was asleep and I managed to lay her down for 15 min before she woke up again.  For a lot of the day she wouldn't even stand for the sling!  Just my arms while I was bouncing her on my exercise ball.  Long day!

Any tips that worked for your LOs when they were tiny to calm them?  DH tried to take her to give me a break and she cried like he was torturing her for 20 min straight, even when he swaddled her, bounced her, gave her the paci, etc.  :'(
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 08, 2011, 03:52:12 am
((HUGS)) Sounds like you are having a hard day, poor bubs and poor mum  :(
Is your LO only 2 weeks old? We didn't have any issues with DS being touchy till a bit later on so unfortunately I can't be of much help :(

Sounds like she may be in pain if she isn't able to sleep, could this be a possibility? Is she feeding well...if she wakes after 20mins sleep I think that is usually pain related ie wind,reflux or something else?

Some things we did try that worked for DS when he was going through tough days and not settling was turning on the faucet on high pressure and rocking him etc with that running close by, turning music on and rocking to the rhythm, when rocking gently tapping DS bottom to the rhythm of a heartbeat and shhing, Going outside where at least you have fresh air (sometimes good for your sanity) If you have a creaky rocking chair that used to work for us too....

Hope things are better tomorrow  :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 08, 2011, 11:59:15 am
((hugs)) Kate!  Any sort of white noise worked for us (we have a dehumidifier in the basement and went down there when we couldn't settle her), but not all the time.  Other things that worked were rhythmic noises (my mom calmed her down by clicking her tongue in her ear at a steady pace, weird I know) and lots of movement.  We used the swing a lot to calm her and I walked around with her a lot...I feel like I did a million laps of our house while she was a newborn.  And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she wasn't used to DH until much later...they had a pretty tough time forming a bond until she was 2-3 months because she just took that long to get used to him.  Hopefully things get better soon!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on May 08, 2011, 20:41:37 pm
Hi Kate

(((hugs))) I hope she's settled down for you a bit by now.  I remember days like those all too well - our DS has been touchy from birth too.

I do agree with ZacsMumme - if you are unable to put her down at all, do you think she could be in any pain?  I spent many months being told by family my LO was just a whingey/demanding baby & to just accept it, and have only very recently discovered he has a milk intolerance (he also has reflux).  Yes he is touchy, but some of his irritability could well have been caused by that.

As for tips for calming her down......our DS had a really strong urge to suck & we couldn't have survived the first few months without a dummy!  We never swaddled DS at night but found swaddling REALLY helped to calm & settle him when he was crying, right up until he was around 3 months old, especially if he was OS or OT.  As a newborn, swaddle plus dummy plus a cuddle would work wonders for sending him off to dreamland & then we's pop him in the cot (we waited at least 20mins for him to be in a deep sleep before putting down).  We also found that holding him on our shoulder & dancing/rocking to gentle music was a good way to calm him down, as was patting his bum.  We took him for lots of walks in the pram - and the fresh air did wonders for me too.  I still do this now if DS is having a whingey day. 

If your LO is having trouble settling for your DH, maybe he could try some skin to skin contact with her over the next few days at a time when she is more settled?  Or if she's FF does he give her any feeds?  If not maybe he could try? Might help increase the bond? 

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.xx
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Love, laughter, & PJs on May 09, 2011, 00:44:24 am
Thanks so much everyone!  So good to hear from those who have BTDT. 

We've been doing lots of swaddle/paci/white noise but I'll keep that up for sure.  She has let me wear her in the sling most of the day today so at least I've been able to get some things done which feels better! 

And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she wasn't used to DH until much later...they had a pretty tough time forming a bond until she was 2-3 months because she just took that long to get used to him.

Skin to skin is a really good idea.  We'll try that.  She's BF and we haven't introduced bottles yet so he hasn't been able to do any feeds.  I'll probably do that around 4 weeks and you're right, it may help.  I do have to go out tomorrow for 2h and I can't take her with me so that should be interesting for poor DH.  Hoping it will go well.  I wish I could take her but it's for work and I just can't work out how to do it, especially if she's going to be fussy.  We shall see!  ::)

Thanks again, ladies...

Ugh.  That is tough to hear.  DH is actually a SAHD and will be on his own full time when I go back to work at the end of June so I need to work on this one for sure if I can.  It's just so hard to hear her scream and so easy to just take her back and settle her myself (well, sometimes easy! ::)).


If your LO is having trouble settling for your DH, maybe he could try some skin to skin contact with her over the next few days at a time when she is more settled?  Or if she's FF does he give her any feeds?  If not maybe he could try? Might help increase the bond?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 09, 2011, 02:46:19 am
Ohh I just thought of one thing we always did pretty much straight off the bat which helped DS bond with DH. DH always took a bath as part of BT routine with DS. It was great for both of them, and in the early days I would help out...now DS looks forward to bath time with dad.

It also means they get the skin to skin with the warm water. Not sure if your LO likes water, but could be one way to help them bond :) It will happen, it just takes time xx :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 09, 2011, 12:26:04 pm
If he's a SAHD I'm sure it won't take as long as it did for my DH.  As long as everyone is patient and understanding of your new babes personality then it probably will take just a little bit longer than normal :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on May 09, 2011, 13:48:40 pm
Hi there,
Did any of you moms of touchy LO's found it difficult to travel abroad with your LO's?
I mean, for sure traveling on an airplane, being in a different country is hard for most babies, but the touchy ones!
The flight was kind of ok, only two hours and he didn't sleep the whole day, which happens sometimes. I was always able to put him back on track, but not this time!!! No way this boy will nap.
It's like the energy of a new country totally confused him, I don't know what it is...
Any suggestions for while we are here, in a foreign country, and also for the way back???
What a nightmare!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on May 09, 2011, 13:50:58 pm
sorry I've not dared venture abroad with my touchy DS yet!!!!  We're going to wait another year or so before we do I think.  Maybe just try & do things as much as possible the way you would at home eg winddown etc & that will help things feel more familiar perhaps?

xx
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 09, 2011, 18:42:47 pm
same here sorry, longest trip we have dared take was a 3 hour drive! Planning a plane trip for next year when DS is over 18 months hehe
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on May 09, 2011, 19:58:42 pm
You are all smarter than me :(
Didn't have a choice though.
We also need to drive on Sunday 4 hours (8 in total) to see the grand-grandmother who is dying and will never see the LO again... how am I suppose to fight that?
Family is so difficult...
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 09, 2011, 20:55:39 pm
You may find your LO sleeps most of the journey :) TBH though I was never a fan of the pacifier it has been brilliant for our DS for both his reflux and need to suck to soothe. We only usually use it for sleep now...but the other exception is the car...nothing worse than a crying baby in a confined space where you are limited to what you can do!!

You could try sitting in the back seat with your LO if that helps? We always put music on in the back too and we have a mirror that attaches to the seat headrest which our DS loves, he can see himself and we can see him through the rear view mirror.

hehe I wouldn't say smart...just haven't needed to travel really and knew that doing it for pleasure would end in no pleasure just stress!

You have to go - Sometimes we have to do these things, you would feel terrible if you didn't and your g-grandmother didn't get to see your bub, just feels so stressful at the time sometimes doesnt it!  :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on May 09, 2011, 21:01:56 pm
Thanks for the ideas about the car journey, and the kind words!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: rachem615 on May 14, 2011, 05:03:02 am
I have a 3 week old that I'm trying to start understanding - he definitely seems to fall under the "Touchy baby" category. I notice that if I can get him down for a nap before he gets to be crying, he can fall asleep with only a few pat/sh's. BUT, if I miss the window, he is inconsolable and will only nap sporadically and jerks awake often, crying, and spends the entire nap time crying until it's time to eat again. Any advice for how to calm him down if I miss the window?

I'm also worried that having a touchy baby means I am chained to my house since I have to be so careful with his "window" - any advice there?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on May 14, 2011, 06:25:38 am
Any advice for how to calm him down if I miss the window?
Swaddle, dummy & cuddle!!!!!!!  This is how I survived the first couple of months!!!!  Didn't swaddle at night as not recommended in UK but if he needed calming it worked like a charm.  DS has a really strong urge to suck & the dummy was invaluable.  We did have a stage at around 4-5 months where the dummy became a prop & we had to keep replugging during the night but at 7-8months he totally lost interest in it & we are now dummy free.

I'm also worried that having a touchy baby means I am chained to my house since I have to be so careful with his "window" - any advice there?
It can feel a bit like that sometimes but you really have to make time for yourself.  I do try & do errands/outings during A time wherever possible, but if you do have a day out, the best thing I find is to stay home the next day to make sure your LO catches up on any missed sleep.  I also always found a walk in the pram means my LO can get his nap & I get some fresh air - and this really helped make me feel better if I was having a tough day.

HTH.x
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on May 14, 2011, 21:06:27 pm
totally agree with Claire. Dummy, dummy, dummy. I sometimes feel like it helps him ''ignore'' the world, like the dummy stops the stimulation from coming in.
When you take him in the pram, make sure you put up this cover (don't know what the exact word for it), so he is not lying and starring at the ceiling or sky or whatever. They feel protected in the pram when this thingi is above them.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 15, 2011, 00:14:30 am
Totally agree too...Dummy saved us once DS would take it.
Regarding outings, start small and just after naps...maybe go with someone else you and your LO know (I used to go out with my mum.) Eventually they improve! Our DS now loves going out - just not all the attention on him or in his face...then he melts down.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tigerlilly905 on May 19, 2011, 16:10:19 pm
About the outtings, the sling saved my life when Ds1 was little.  Everyone in the grocery store would always come up and try and "oogle" him if he was in the car seat or a stroller which would obviously end in a meltdown! So I started baby wearing whenever we went anywhere (having him face inwards).  It kept most people away and not so "in his face", and if there were ppl who wanted to see him I would just politely say "oh, he's trying to sleep" ;) (even though it was clearly "A" time) He was so content that way, and I think it made him feel so much more secure.

And missing the window, yup, swaddle is key, as is the paci.  Also, do u completely darken the room and/or use white noise? That's essential I think for a touchy baby.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Kta400 on May 20, 2011, 12:55:31 pm
Does anyone else feel like their touchy LO is often frantic unsettled. I feel like my DS has about 30-45 minutes of A time that is somewhat calm (on a good day) and then he just becomes antsy with frantic movements. Anyone else see this? He just can't melt into anyones arms and relax...ever! Well, he does when we nurse but that is it. I feel so bad for him!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on May 20, 2011, 16:05:51 pm
Oh yeah, tell me about it.
I always dreamed about a baby I could hold and will hug me back, would just put his head on my shoulder, ya know?
No way! He fights often when I hold him, it's rare that he is happy to be held and settle on us.
((Hugs)), I know how hard it is.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 20, 2011, 16:17:32 pm
I thought it was my LOs spiritedness that made her fight cuddling, lol.  She definitely hates cuddles, kisses, anything of the sort.  She has started initiating cuddles though, she'll reach out for hugs or bury her head into us as a way of cuddling up to us.  DH tries to give her a hug and a kiss before he leaves for work and she just pushes him away...much easier to deal with and laugh at now that we know she will cuddle, but it just has to be on her terms :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Kta400 on May 20, 2011, 17:35:55 pm
Sigh.... I just wish he would feel more settled. I feel like we can only do an activity for 5-10 minutes tops before his arms and legs start to flail!

New question... has anyone tried weaning their touchy LO from the swaddle? My DS is 5 1/2 months (but born 4 weeks early so really 4 1/2) and we have swaddled him from the beginning. He just can't settle down to sleep without it! I am currently working on naps with one arm out. Sometimes I can get him to nap for his usual 30-40 minute nap like this but other time he gets so upset that I need to swaddle both arms in. I have read a lot about people putting their LO on side and then tucking in a sheet real tight. I can't imagine getting my guy to settle in the bed, then tuck a sheet in, and then keep him there! :) Any tips??
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tigerlilly905 on May 21, 2011, 01:07:14 am
New question... has anyone tried weaning their touchy LO from the swaddle? My DS is 5 1/2 months (but born 4 weeks early so really 4 1/2) and we have swaddled him from the beginning. He just can't settle down to sleep without it! I am currently working on naps with one arm out. Sometimes I can get him to nap for his usual 30-40 minute nap like this but other time he gets so upset that I need to swaddle both arms in. I have read a lot about people putting their LO on side and then tucking in a sheet real tight. I can't imagine getting my guy to settle in the bed, then tuck a sheet in, and then keep him there!  Any tips??

With Ds1 we did just what you're saying, put one arm out (the left, since he sucks he left thumb), and he slept on his side.  Then gradually we put both arms out until only his bottom half was swaddled.  Then we moved to using a sleep sack blanket (which he still uses, in a toddler size of course! ;)  Putting on his blanket is SUCH a part of his winddown routine, even when he was as young as 5-6 mths he knew it was sleep time when it was blanket time. 

Ultimately, Ds1 is a tummy sleeper, but I let him side sleep until he rolled over well on his own, at which point there was no stopping him ;)  Depending on how comfortable you are with tummy sleeping, perhaps you could try putting him on his tummy once the swaddle is weaned?  I find Ds1 feels more secure in that position. 

I've never tried tucking a sheet in though... so I'm not sure what to suggest on that one ???
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Kta400 on May 22, 2011, 13:42:00 pm
Thanks Tigerlilly! How did you place him on his side? Did you use some kind of wedge? Any particular one you recommend? I think he would really like sleeping on his side because he settles well when I put him on his side and pat his back.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tigerlilly905 on May 22, 2011, 17:04:44 pm
Thanks Tigerlilly! How did you place him on his side? Did you use some kind of wedge? Any particular one you recommend? I think he would really like sleeping on his side because he settles well when I put him on his side and pat his back.

Glad to help :)  Yes, we used a sleep positioner (and are using one now for ds2 actually) Ours is a "first years air flow" sleep positioner and it works quite well.  You can also roll up a couple of receiving blankets and place your l/o on his side between them.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: charmie on May 23, 2011, 02:15:58 am
Hi!  I just did the quiz for my 8 wk old ds Ryan.  He's mostly touchy with a touch of textbook and spirited too according to the test.  But I'm starting to doubt my answers as he's quite portable and he's fine with being held by others.  He's also got silent reflux.  I cannot get him to nap well.  And although bedtime is not bad he does sleep very fitfully after midnight.  Getting his sleep window right...no  joy.  Shus/pat keeps him awake.  I try not to stress and I tell myself things will get better.  But when I see no improvement no matter what I try I start to despair! 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 23, 2011, 02:31:06 am
(HUGS) Charmie. My DS Zac is a very touchy bub...but his touchy-ness (is that a word?) emerged a bit later...around about 3-4 months in particular when he became a lot more alert. Our biggest problem with Zac being touchy was that when he didnt get his sleep he got OT very very quickly....This was made worse when his reflux was bad as of course the pain would keep him up, he would miss his window and then sleep like rubbish :(

Not sure if this may help, and this is mega AP but we used to rock and pat Zac on the butt to the rythem of a heartbeat with his face buried in my boob or armpit...this helped block the stimulation out and gave him a rythmic movement to lul him to settle/sleep. Reflux is so hard hun, and being touchy too makes it a bit harder too. BUT :) They do seem to grow out of it...at least my DS is a lot better now he has hit 7 months. Just don't put your face in his or he will melt down :P

Question for you other mummas with touchies who are a tad older than Zac (7months) Do any of you have to contend with meltdowns when your LO is doing something they love (in our case having a bath) and then you remove it (take him out)? DS has just started to lose it when we do this...obviously the bath is now his favorite place...but he cant live in it!!!!! And I really don't want meltdowns near BT :( At the moment we are using distraction but I figure this may be a thing that gets worse as he gets older????

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on May 23, 2011, 07:49:57 am
(((Hugs))) Charmie, these touchy ones are hard work :)
Did you try to block stimulation when you put him for his naps?
I found that the pat drove my LO nuts, so I tried to do only shh and very quietly, and it worked. I guess the normal shh pierced his ears, poor soul.
What also saved us is the paci, I wouldn't have survived without it. Are you using one?
HTH
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on May 23, 2011, 11:47:08 am
Hi Charmie - welcome to the thread.  I second what ZacsMummy said - my DS was touchy from birth but was fine being held by other people until he hit 3-4 months, when suddenly it was like he had this realisation that those other people holding him were 'strangers'.  We used swaddle & dummy to settle our LO when he got OT - this would really help to calm him.  But things do get better I promise!!  He's 9 months now, no longer uses dummy (lost interest so didn't have to wean), self settles for all sleeps & provided I catch his sleep window, he will give decent naps & STTN (although he's an early waker but that's another story!)

ZacsMummy - DS is now 9months & over the last month or so I am seeing the beginnings of 'tantrums' if I take things away from him.  He is belly crawling all over the place now & going for anything that isn't his to play with e.g. magazines, remote controls, mobile phones, wires etc etc.  If I take something away that he has managed to get hold of & say no, he will cry.  I also find the best thing to do is use distraction & try & get him interested in something else.  I guess the more mobile they get, the more this is going to keep happening!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: charmie on May 23, 2011, 12:39:11 pm
Ds is 8 weeks.  Can anyone guide me as to what kind of A times a touchy bub of this age would need approximately?  And what do they look like when they are tired?  Do they need to be swaddled and ready before they show tired signs?  I cannot read this lo!  And I feel guilty and frustrated for his poor sleep.  Am I expecting too much out of him?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 23, 2011, 14:36:30 pm
Charmie - Things started getting better for us right around 8 weeks...I was also clueless about A times for DD, I think she was low sleep needs and I was trying to put her down too soon.  Then I discovered that everything made her yawn...she yawns when bored, she yawns when hungry, and she yawns when sleepy :)  I used to do a "change of scene" at her first yawn to make sure it wasn't just boredom, and if she was still fussy or kept yawning then start her naptime routine (which I have always had to keep very very short).  Hang in there, things will get better soon!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: charmie on May 23, 2011, 15:11:56 pm
What would the nap time routine consist of?  Here I just do swaddle, dummy, sit, cot. I have tried A times from 45 mins to 1hr 15.  I doubt he needs more A time right now with so little sleep.  Today I'm trying to do bottle, nappy, swaddle etc.  Without any play time at all.  He still fights me when we sit down.  Shush pat keeps him in a light sleep forever.  I am really at a loss.  He can't possibly continue like this.  It's way too little sleep.  I can't get him to have a decent nap neither in the swing!!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on May 23, 2011, 16:10:27 pm
I think if you put him straight after a feed to bed then he is UT, I had this problem a lot, one day he was UT, one day OT, he confused me so much. But you will get there, you will learn to see when he is ready, he is still so little and you two are getting to know each other. But yeah, I know how hard it is.
I don't know if it's the case with all touchy ones, but as someone mentioned here the time putting him down for a nap is extremely short, almost non existing. What you are telling happened to me, he fought me when I tried to sit with him so I started to put him down straight away. Try to separate between the shh and pat, some babies prefer only one of them.
 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: charmie on May 23, 2011, 17:06:18 pm
Did putting him down without sitting work?  It did not work for me.  I think by that time he was ot, wanted to suck on his paci ferociously and being very fidgety he drops it and then gets upset. 

I ended up taking him out and giving him more a time.  After 15 mins he yawned, I swaddled him, he started fighting me.  Finally I put him in the swing and waited.  It took him about 20 mins of trying to keep his eyes open!  I didn't even strap him in so as not to wake him!! 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Love, laughter, & PJs on May 23, 2011, 18:11:57 pm
Charmie, I don't have too much helpful advice to add, unfortunately, but to say that I completely hear you.  Grace is a champion of waking up right when I'm sure she's asleep.  ::)  I also understand about being frustrated and feeling bad for them all at the same time. It's so hard!!

Do you have a baby carrier?  That's the only way I can get Grace decent sleep and try to catch up on the OT.  Tracy said 1 nap a day in the crib at 8 weeks is great so if you can get the other sleep in the carrier maybe that will help?

Hugs, I'm struggling too so know you're not alone.  :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 23, 2011, 18:18:53 pm
I totally second/third? the short wind down, sitting with DS makes him agitated, his wind down for a while was literally 3 minutes and then he was out to it! I also agree with Brooke in that DS yawns all the time.....

In saying this, we didn't really get Zacs sleep sorted till later than 8 weeks so you are WAY ahead of us...just remember that his reflux will be affecting his sleep too, so even if he is tired, by the time you deal to the pain he may be OT poor darling!:(

Totally agree with everyone else re the dummy...it saved us here too, and helped immensely with his reflux.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 23, 2011, 19:49:08 pm
We did carrier naps all the time if I couldn't get a crib nap...I would do anything I could and then things started sorting themselves out.  It seems like it takes forever when you are in the moment, but looking back it wasn't that long at all...DH came home one day to find my sitting in the closet with her because she was crazy OT and her room wasn't dark enough :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 23, 2011, 20:50:17 pm
hahahaha Brooke, I did that once too (closet) so glad to hear I am not the only one :P

DS is now 9months & over the last month or so I am seeing the beginnings of 'tantrums' if I take things away from him.
This, is exactly what I am seeing! Will keep using distraction for now...at some point they have to learn no though don't they, when I say it ie no Zac that is not a toy DS just looks at me like I'm a crazy lady, and if I use to stern a tone he gets upset.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on May 23, 2011, 21:23:02 pm
when I say it ie no Zac that is not a toy DS just looks at me like I'm a crazy lady, and if I use to stern a tone he gets upset.

So far I've opted for a gentle but firm approach (even though in my head I might want to shout NO!  ;)) e.g.:  'no Oliver, you can't eat the wires because they are dangerous' or 'no Oliver, you mustn't eat Daddy's magazine because he might like to read it later'.  Spot a common theme there?..... he eats everything!!!!

I know he doesn't understand what I'm saying yet but I figure if I explain why I'm saying no, as he gets older he will eventually come to understand, and if at that point he still repeats the behaviour then I can be more firm with him.  But atm he is just little & exploring the world & his newfound mobility - he doesn't understand why he can't have some things or why some things are dangerous.  :P
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 23, 2011, 21:27:51 pm
yes we are the same re the eating... and I want to make sure that as he gets older he does learn no, but totally realize he is too young now to really understand. I have been trying to change my tone too, so it is slightly deeper and firmer and explain why.

Well put :) I need to tell myself this more often I think!
know he doesn't understand what I'm saying yet but I figure if I explain why I'm saying no, as he gets older he will eventually come to understand, and if at that point he still repeats the behaviour then I can be more firm with him.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: charmie on May 25, 2011, 17:24:53 pm
DS (2 months old) won't sleep in the stroller at the supermarket.  His eyes stay wide open!  Is that a part of being touchy?  I'll cover the stroller to remove stimulation next time.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 25, 2011, 18:20:58 pm
We always had to cover the stroller if we wanted DD to get a nap in it.  She was just so observant, she wanted to look at everything!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tigerlilly905 on May 25, 2011, 19:22:56 pm
DS (2 months old) won't sleep in the stroller at the supermarket.  His eyes stay wide open!  Is that a part of being touchy?  I'll cover the stroller to remove stimulation next time.

YUP!! Happend to Ds1 ALL The time.  Do you have a baby carrier/sling? I used to always baby wear at the grocery store.  Works wonders :)  

Also, someone asked about older Touchies and tandrums a few pages back I believe.  They still do get meltdowns as they get into toddler years I'm afraid.  I've found that distraction is still the best form of dealing with them right now.  Have you read the book "Positive Discipline - the first three years"?  You can find it under companion methods here on the forum.  A lot of the info in it is common sense, but it does help for sure.  

So I'm starting to see some Touchy-ness in Ds2 as well.  I always thought a Spirited/Touchy combo was rare as it almost seems like an oxymoron to me... but it's interesting to see how his personality is developing.  He ALWAYS wants to be held (and LOVES babywearing)... Is very particular... only wants to be with Mommy really. Ds1 was the same way.  

ETA:  Here's the link with companion methods http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=110898.0   Here's the link to that book I mentioned http://www.amazon.ca/Positive-Discipline-Toddler-Laying-Foundation-Confident/dp/0307341593/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1306351518&sr=8-1
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 25, 2011, 19:34:11 pm
Totally! Make that stroller dim :P You may also find that around 3 months your DS starts not liking the stroller. Our DS started to really dislike it around 3 months...I think his touchiness and reflux combined made him frustrated and uncomfortable in it. (probably not but just a warning in case!!) If he does I have lots of tips to get  him used to it again   ;D

DS (2 months old) won't sleep in the stroller at the supermarket.  His eyes stay wide open!  Is that a part of being touchy?  I'll cover the stroller to remove stimulation next time.

YUP!! Happend to Ds1 ALL The time.  Do you have a baby carrier/sling? I used to always baby wear at the grocery store.  Works wonders :) 

Also, someone asked about older Touchies and tandrums a few pages back I believe.  They still do get meltdowns as they get into toddler years I'm afraid.  I've found that distraction is still the best form of dealing with them right now.  Have you read the book "Positive Discipline - the first three years"?  You can find it under companion methods here on the forum.  A lot of the info in it is common sense, but it does help for sure. 

So I'm starting to see some Touchy-ness in Ds2 as well.  I always thought a Spirited/Touchy combo was rare as it almost seems like an oxymoron to me... but it's interesting to see how his personality is developing.  He ALWAYS wants to be held (and LOVES babywearing)... Is very particular... only wants to be with Mommy really. Ds1 was the same way. 

ETA:  Here's the link with companion methods http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=110898.0   Here's the link to that book I mentioned http://www.amazon.ca/Positive-Discipline-Toddler-Laying-Foundation-Confident/dp/0307341593/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1306351518&sr=8-1
Thanks tigerlilly - I was asking :) I will see if I can fish out that book in the library. We have Growing Great Boys and Raising boys - these are fantastic, but not so much about discipline as a main focus.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tigerlilly905 on May 25, 2011, 19:53:40 pm
N/P :) Yes, I've read Raising Boys as well.. excellent read! :D
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 25, 2011, 19:58:36 pm

So I'm starting to see some Touchy-ness in Ds2 as well.  I always thought a Spirited/Touchy combo was rare as it almost seems like an oxymoron to me... but it's interesting to see how his personality is developing.

It exists!  And it's quite the challenge! 

P.S. I love your new family pic Rebecca :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tigerlilly905 on May 25, 2011, 20:14:11 pm
Quote from: tigerlilly905 on Today at 03:22:56 PMSo I'm starting to see some Touchy-ness in Ds2 as well.  I always thought a Spirited/Touchy combo was rare as it almost seems like an oxymoron to me... but it's interesting to see how his personality is developing.It exists!  And it's quite the challenge!  P.S. I love your new family pic Rebecca

Thank you! :) We got a bunch from our nb photoshoot not too long ago. 

I hear you on it being challenging! I thought one touchy boy and one spirited boy was going to be hard ::) LOL...  But having Ds1 as touchy at least I know somewhat how to tackle those issues with Ds2.. it's the spirited side that's throwing me off right now!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 25, 2011, 20:14:56 pm
Sorry ladies..didnt mean to quote tigerlillys entire thread..I seem to have issues selecting part of a thread to quote  ::) - Meant to just include the bit about the book :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 25, 2011, 22:44:16 pm
So, my DS has started to behave more and more spirited as he has grown - and dare I say it - as his reflux and OT subsided. He is definitely still touchy, but seems to be spirited during his A time esp at home, and going down for naps.  I re read through the baby type quiz and he is definately more spritied than I thought...or maybe its just emerging as the touchiness starts to subside?

Anyone else in this strange little boat with me??
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tigerlilly905 on May 25, 2011, 23:04:00 pm
Anyone else in this strange little boat with me??

 I don't know if it's the same thing, but I have found as Ds1's confidence has grown, he has become much more outgoing/energetic/"spirited" in places he is comfortable in.  Like you say, at home he's like a different person... but when he's around new people/places I still see his touchy side big time until he gets comfortable.  I think it's a natural progression as they get older and as they become more confident in the world.  By "nurturing their nature" you can teach a touchy baby to come out of their shell and embrace the world, kwim? 

For example, we started taking Ds1 to a library reading group for babies/toddlers when he was around 10 months old (and the group FINALLY didn't interfere with nap times! ::)  ) We read books, sing songs ect.  At first he was SO shy.  Would only sit on my lap and watch... would *maybe* crack a smile when he saw a picture of an animal, but could quickly meltdown if the song we were singing was too loud or made a noise that scared him.  He usually cried at least once every time we went for the first month.  But we kept going.. week after week. And every week I saw very small improvements.  Now, he's like a COMPLETELY different person there.  He interacts with the other children... he's up, dancing, "singing", socializing with everyone, being silly and very involved.  Even the woman who runs the program comments on how much he's developed since starting there.  I've been able to see this fun, outgoing side in him for a long time - when he's at home, with people he's comfortable with.  But like I said, it's taken a long time to get there.  Like Tracy says, temperament is not a life sentence.  And I do believe it can evolve with confidence and proper guidence from loving parents.

Personally I think you're on the right track with Zac.  Also, as they get older, you will find some nap resistance, as they are becoming more interactive and involved in what they are doing.  Even though they are getting tired, they want to keep playing and they don't want the fun to stop.  I think this is why routine/rituals are so important... and sticking with a wind down of sorts even as they get older.

Even now with Ds1 (who's 14 months) we still do a little wind down for nap.  We put on the white noise machine (still..), put on his sleep sack blanket, sing a song ect.  I find with this we encounter less resistance for naps/bed time...

Hope that helps!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Kta400 on May 26, 2011, 00:48:28 am
ZacsMumme,
My DS has gotten so much better at riding in the car and in the stroller but he still gets fussy after 10 minutes or so in the stroller. I currently cover the stroller with a light blanket and try to get him to take his paci. I saw that you had a lot of tricks to help with this.... could you share?
Thanks!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on May 26, 2011, 16:21:57 pm
Funny enough, I have experienced the touchy - spirited the other way around :)
When my LO was born he was such a clear spirited baby, there was no doubt about that. It was only when he grew a bit older, around two months that he showed signs of touchiness. Perhaps I didn't notice them before :P
He never minded people, noises, smells as he was tiny, and now he also doesn't mind people but it all has to be really slow. they can't be at his face, can't wiggle things in front of him, he then has a melt down.
So yeah, this combination definitely exists.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tigerlilly905 on May 27, 2011, 15:15:57 pm
Funny enough, I have experienced the touchy - spirited the other way around When my LO was born he was such a clear spirited baby, there was no doubt about that. It was only when he grew a bit older, around two months that he showed signs of touchiness. Perhaps I didn't notice them before

Funny you should say this.  I found myself retaking the know your baby quiz  and I'm finding Arthur to now be more Touchy/Spirited... ???  But you know what, Ds1 was the same.  At first he was COMPLETELY textbook.. and it wasn't until about 8 weeks that his touchy side REALLY came through until he was majority Touchy with a bit of textbook.  So who knows... but either way, I'm pretty much certain now Arthur has a lot more touchy in him then I first thought!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 27, 2011, 23:40:28 pm
thanks tigerlilly :) I make sure we always do consistent wind down, though for naps DS is usually ready or not and when he is ready he is out in 5 mins, but still wants to party for the first few...when he is not he resists like mad.
Funny re noise machine. We have white noise and I am sure we will have it for a long time too :P

 
and it wasn't until about 8 weeks that his touchy side REALLY came through
- This was the same with us, the touchiness emerged after about 6-7 weeks.

Kta400 here are my tips (actually some other lovely lady from BW helped me out with this when my DS was hating the stroller around 4 months. I cant  find the old thread though.
SO...first I stopped trying to get him to go in it when he was tired, but when he was wide awake and happy.
I made the buggy seat really upright as far as it could go so he was sitting and could see out.
I put the bar on and attached a few toys, nothing OS i.e. a teether and a small pull vibrating toy. I also put his restraint on loosely so he could lean forward and not feel trapped.

I made sure that my walks were VERY short to start with, and I went with someone else ie DH or my mum so I could always peek around to reassure DS if he got whingy. I also think it helped if I was talking to someone else as we moved and I dont put the covers on at the moment as he likes to see out and not feel 'covered up'

I also took the buggy in to the house and put him in it not moving in the lounge like a seat with a toy so he got used to 'being' in the buggy. Another thing you could try is put him in it when you hang out the washing for example.

I tried to get him out of the buggy before he packed it in if possible and took the front pack as an alt if we were out and he was 'over it'

Basically I was trying to remove the negative association with it and get him used to being in it.

In the last 2 months he has come SO FAR! He will 'hang out' in his buggy for up to 40 mins. Though he doesn't like being stuck in it when it is not moving. Hopefully some of these tips help...really i think part of it is he is growing up a little. :)

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Kta400 on May 28, 2011, 01:03:22 am
Thanks ZacsMumme! I will try some of those suggestions. We are doing a couple of them but bet some of your other suggestions will help! My LO has come a long way  but still has a hard time with walks over 20 minutes.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jay2yay on May 29, 2011, 03:04:10 am
Hello ladies...thought I'd jump in as my spirited DS's touchy side seems to be flaring up since about 3 months. :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tigerlilly905 on May 29, 2011, 19:10:44 pm
Welcome Justine :D

My LO has come a long way  but still has a hard time with walks over 20 minutes.

Ds1 was the same - 20 mins max in the stroller.  I ended up doing most walks using the baby carrier.  It wasn't until he was closer to 6-7 months that he managed longer in the stroller.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 29, 2011, 19:14:14 pm
It wasn't until he was closer to 6-7 months that he managed longer in the stroller.
Exactly the same with us :) Zac is now 7.5 months and only in the last few weeks really he has started to chill out...I was never worried before as we have a front pack, but he is getting heavy at 9kg!!

Hang in there and just keep trying gently, dont force the stroller though or he may resist more. We still sometimes have 20mins only in the buggy...depends on the mood.

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 30, 2011, 14:09:54 pm
Another stroller tip...If we walk to a store I take Lyanna out as soon as we are there, so she isn't just sitting in the stroller.  She definitely likes to see what I am doing and interact with any sales people on the same level, instead of looking up at everything.  It means I have a tougher time shopping sometimes, but she's happier because she can be part of what I'm doing, and we don't have any melt downs if I'm holding her and a stranger starts talking to her :)  At the mall, I usually have DH with me so when we stop in a store whoever isn't shopping at that store takes her out to look around.  On walks I will take her out if she fusses and hold her, she likes to help push the stroller, lol.

Lyanna has finally cut her next tooth, but it's the lateral upper incisor, not the central ones...So it looks like we are in for a long teething spell since she really should be getting her central incisors around this time...I really wish touchy babies were better teethers!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on May 30, 2011, 14:27:37 pm
Yay for the tooth! One less to go...
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: charmie on May 30, 2011, 19:51:53 pm
Does your lo like wearing a hat?  It's really hot here and there's no way I can go for a short walk with him in the sling without a hat on.  He's not very keen on it though.  He seems to hate anything that touches his head really. Even dressing/ undressing him is a nightmare!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on May 30, 2011, 19:54:24 pm
Charmie, do you live in my house?

I know, mine is the same, but one can one do? He got used to the hat eventually, still dislikes getting dressed...
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on May 30, 2011, 20:00:11 pm
The only hat we've had luck with is one with a string that snaps under the chin...eventually she just got tired of trying to take it off :)  I try to use it only when we are in direct sun so she doesn't have to wear it too often.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jay2yay on May 31, 2011, 00:37:09 am
Isaac is okay with a hat (we still put one on him every nap time to cover his eyes) but he's just recently started to hate getting dressed. Cries every time. especially with those nighties that have elastic at the bottom...I'm about to just give up on those.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 31, 2011, 06:07:44 am
Oh my...we used to have hell getting anything over Zacs head too - esp tops with the dome up bottoms. I can say he has outgrown it though so there is hope ladies :D
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Khalam's Mama on June 02, 2011, 20:17:15 pm
I think I may have a touchy 6wo so will be reading along for some tips. Will come back and read back soon.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on June 03, 2011, 19:33:50 pm
Welcome to the touchy world Khalam's mama!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on June 03, 2011, 19:37:38 pm
Welcome!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Khalam's Mama on June 05, 2011, 11:42:55 am
Ds takes aids to settled to sleep esp at bt when he can take hrs. He does at least one nap independently and we dont ap so i know he can do it. It is worse when he is ot but  am wondering how much is his touchy side that he sleeps then wakes a short which later. Any tips to help him would b appreciated.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on June 05, 2011, 19:12:57 pm
(HUGS) we found  these things helped us with sleep (though in saying that around 6 weeks DS got reflux and we were AP city for a while with not a lot of sleep)
White noise or music
Swaddling
Dummy
patting - but on the bottom not the back (and shhing sometimes) If he doesn't like that you can try pressure on him in the cot
rocking chair
If you are finding him hard to calm down we always found (when its not ick outside) that taking him out in the fresh air all wrapped up helped calm him down...not sure why! I also found we had to hold a DS relatively firmly and on his side against my chest - almost with his face in my armpit/boob with the dummy when he got really worked up to get him to feel safe and relax.

He is still so little you are doing a great job!!! :) hope this helps a bit, i'm sure the other ladies have some good tips!

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Khalam's Mama on June 06, 2011, 08:53:11 am
Thanks. I tried the music last night and it really helped. Even when he woke up i started the music on his monitor from downstairs and he went back to sleep without me even going up. He does like a dummy. I am reluctant for swaddling but the times i did he seemed desperate to break out. He does like the patting and hand on chest too. I remember k used to like going out in the fresh air and would instantly calm. Weird. B keeps waking up giving a shrill cry then going back to sleep. Is this touchy?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on June 06, 2011, 10:13:48 am
I remember k used to like going out in the fresh air and would instantly calm.

My LO does the same.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on June 06, 2011, 19:21:20 pm
Weird. B keeps waking up giving a shrill cry then going back to sleep. Is this touchy?
For us this type of behavior was DS acid reflux and sometimes he would wake with pain, other times he would let out the cry in his sleep. Do you think your DS may have reflux?
Glad to hear some of the tips are working for you!!! Once you find what your LO likes things will get more manageable. x
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on June 06, 2011, 19:52:06 pm
Khalam's Mama - Swaddling didn't work for us until around the 2 month mark...she just didn't like it until then, lol.  Any rhythmic sounds worked well too, and any sort of motion.  I still slow dance with her when she gets really upset before naptime or bedtime, and she just settles into my shoulder and chills (as long as she's ready to go to sleep), it's oh so cute when she does it :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Khalam's Mama on June 06, 2011, 21:14:51 pm
I hope b doesn't have reflux but i have been keeping an eye on him because he has started spitting up loads to the extent i have to change his and or my clothes and he does sometimes seem in pain after feeds. It is only the last week though. No other signs though.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on June 06, 2011, 21:46:35 pm
mmmm he is at the right age to develop it....just keep an eye out for the signs incase, DS got reflux at 6 weeks (classic acid reflux) and it just started with crying during/after feeds and crying out during sleep and spitting up a little, but it smelt acidy. (HUGS)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Khalam's Mama on June 06, 2011, 21:55:19 pm
Hmm it doesnt smell acidic but i have perused the reflux boards and posted so we Will see. Music didnt work much to settle for the night so i think i spoke too soon.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jay2yay on June 06, 2011, 23:56:14 pm
Is it touchies that have a hard time with being unswaddled? Has anyone been successful with weaning their LO off the swaddle? How long did the process take?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on June 07, 2011, 00:25:06 am
It was easy for us, Lyanna just started busting out of the swaddle...somewhere around 3-4 months.  We had been swaddling with one arm out because she started sucking her thumb so I think that made it easier for her to break out of it :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jay2yay on June 07, 2011, 00:47:44 am
Isaac gets out of his swaddle every night and needs re-swaddled 1-2 times a night. Naps are fine so far. We started one arm out of the swaddle today but he hasn't yet found his thumb so there was a lot of crying I think because his hand frustrated him. I guess I need to just stick with it or I need to wait on it and I'm not sure which one to do.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: charmie on June 07, 2011, 00:48:30 am
I weaned dd1 from the swaddle when she had started to break out if it too.  I think she must have been 3 or 4 months.  I did it cold turkey and put her in a sleeping bag instead.  I didn't need to do this but I read that with babies that still have little control on their arms, they put them in a sleeping bag but keep their arms tucked inside the bag for a while.

Sorry I'm not contributing much.  I am reading along, but by the time I catch up with all the posts I forget everything!!  I'm still so foggy:/

I also have a question for US mums.  DS has cradle cap.  Is there a special shampoo or ointment I xan buy?  TIA
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Love, laughter, & PJs on June 07, 2011, 01:00:15 am
Jay - Have you tried the Miracle Blanket?  We did that with another swaddle wrapped around it and that kept DS (who was big and strong) in for a looong time.  We didn't completely wean the swaddle until 9m!  He just really needed so we rolled with it.

KM - That sounds suspicious for reflux to me, too.  Definitely keep an eye out.  It's good you'll be on top of it if it is.  But I hope it isn't.  Fingers crossed.

Charmie - You can do a dandruff shampoo, the medicated kind (the name is escaping my OT brain atm!) once a week.  But you can also just try olive oil!  Works well from what I hear.  Rub it on and you can gently comb their hair and a lot of the flakiness will come out and the skin will be really moisturized.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jay2yay on June 07, 2011, 01:23:27 am
The MB is what I've been using for months. I just bought the Woombie but after trying that out I feel like I should just wean the swaddle b/c he can get his hands up to his mouth in the Woombie and it just frustrates him. Tonight, I put him in his woombie and then put the MB around it loosely (he's in a diaper). I guess I could do that but I'd just have to get him down to his diaper every nap time  ::)  Or, I could try the blanket around the MB. I'm starting to feel like he needs the swaddle still as well.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on June 07, 2011, 01:54:34 am
Our DS hated being swaddled until later. Weird aye! He always used a GoGobag (sleep sack) at night, but I am swaddling him for naps now...hoping to wean that soon.

Charmie - Re Cradle Cap we used natural unfragranced massage oil, but olive oil or almond oil would do the same thing :) And apparently lots of hair brushing (even if like our DS there isn't much to brush...it distributes the natural oil build up)

KM - I also hope its not reflux, but do keep an eye out x
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Kta400 on June 07, 2011, 18:18:14 pm
Jay2yay - I feel your pain for weaning the swaddle. I have been doing some naps without the swaddle and if I can get him to settle... he only sleeps for 30 minutes. I haven't done it all the time yet because I am so fearful of him getting OT because that is a mess! I was going to try to go without the swaddle last night but chickened out. I tried one arm out instead and he took forever to settle. I finally gave up and tucked that arm in. I really want to get him out of it but wondering if he just still needs it.

Thanks for the stroller tips everyone! I took Jude for a walk yesterday without the car seat and that seemed to help a little. He has learned how to arch his back when I am trying to strap him in but once we got moving he was ok.

Any tips on weekend trips? We are going to a friends cabin 3 hours away - our first trip with Jude. I am so nervous about the drive, the change in routine, sleeping! Anyone been there?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jay2yay on June 07, 2011, 19:56:31 pm
Kta- I'm just not sure DS is ready to be out of the swaddle yet. I've been putting him in his woombie with a blanket wrapped around it. It's been working nicely since it's still secure, but not super tight and he can still move his arms if he wants but it's still a little difficult for him to reach his mouth. I'm just going to do this for awhile.

Also intrigued to hear any tips about traveling for Kta!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: charmie on June 08, 2011, 00:30:10 am
Sorry for posting the question on cradle cap here!  I thought I was on the birth club.  I told you I was foggy!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on June 08, 2011, 09:28:16 am
Yeah, travelling. I've done that.
I don't know how to be less straight forward, but do you have to go? :P
It might all go well with no prob, but it might not be easy.
My LO sleeps in the car, and the long drive was quite ok (we drove 10h in one day). Saying that, there was not much EAS on that day, I fed him in the car even if it wasn't quite time yet, because I knew it will help him sleep. A shield on the window also helps (the one that sticks if you know which one I mean), but it was a bit sunny where we drove. Oh yeah, and we stopped every couple of hours, got some fresh air, changed him, walked a bit around with him.
But a flight - don't go there. I won't do it again till he is 18 at least.

Regarding the swaddle, I think if it's working for you don't stop. Touchy babies need a bit longer than other babies to be weaned from it. You will know when it's time.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jay2yay on June 08, 2011, 15:30:42 pm
18?!?!?!?! lol!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Kta400 on June 08, 2011, 16:59:35 pm
I think we are actually not going to go. Just found out we would be sharing a cabin with another family with 2 kids. That sounds like a nightmare since my guy needs dark, quiet, and white noise to sleep! Oh well... maybe next year! :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on June 08, 2011, 18:30:10 pm
18?!?!?!?! lol!
:D
I think we are actually not going to go. Just found out we would be sharing a cabin with another family with 2 kids. That sounds like a nightmare since my guy needs dark, quiet, and white noise to sleep! Oh well... maybe next year! :)
Maybe when he is 18 :D :D :D
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: charmie on June 08, 2011, 18:32:33 pm
Hmmm not very encouraging!!  We have to take a transatlantic flight next month.  8hrs minimum.  I wonder how that will turn out.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on June 10, 2011, 02:40:02 am
Does anyone else's touchy babe get really really frustrated when they cant do something?
My DS is getting so frustrated and whingy when he cant get something or move into the position he wants..it is driving me insane. He doesn't just keep trying he totally packs it in from frustration in like 2 minutes. I can see we are never going to crawl...its all just to hard for him and he gets upset! I try to be right there with him and encourage him etc, but then he just wants cuddles. Tips???????? I think we have a bit of SA starting too...I leave the room and count to 5 and he starts to bawl. :(
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on June 10, 2011, 08:07:29 am
Does anyone else's touchy babe get really really frustrated when they cant do something?
YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!

It is also very frustrating for me!  When he was trying to crawl he would get on his tummy, wave arms & legs all over & then get really angry!  He's belly crawling, but still not crawling properly yet (almost 10mo now!) & I think that is frustrating him too.  He wants to get going, just hasn't figured out how yet.  I try & encourage too but he can also get upset.  Now he's belly crawling he shuffles over to my legs & grabs me when he's upset so I pick him up & give him a cuddle.  Not sure if that's the right response or what else I should do really!

As for SA - we've had it terribly for so so long.  He's getting a little better now, but its always worse if he's tired.  He will start up before I've even left the room.  It is hard, but still go & do whatever it is you are doing.  Tell him you are going & maybe try talking to him from the other room so he can hear you're still there.  Then he will learn when you say you are going that you will come back.  Or play peek a boo around the doorway - that works a treat for us - do it a few times & he gets bored & starts playing with a toy then you can nip off no problem!!!  Its a developmental stage where they have to learn that objects exist even if they can't see them - you will soon notice (if not already) that if a toy disappears out of sight he will try & look for it etc.  That's when you know he's starting to grasp the concept.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: charmie on June 10, 2011, 10:50:36 am
Claire have you tried to put your hands behind his feet?  When pushing against your hands he'll move forward.  It should give him a better idea of what should be happening.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on June 10, 2011, 16:08:22 pm
So much frustration over here!  And she's never going to crawl, but somehow she manages to get close-ish to where she wants to be by shuffling sort of...all I know is, I turn my back for a second and she's in a different spot!  I understand how you could be going insane, we are going through the same stuff but with walking...that's a whole new treat :)  If I'm not there to help her stand and walk to where she wants to go she gets super frustrated and has a meltdown...
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: jay2yay on June 10, 2011, 17:33:57 pm
Oh the joys to look forward to....I'm already seeing it during tummy time - he hates it. Has anybody ever been given advice to what you are supposed to do when they get frustrated?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on June 10, 2011, 19:11:12 pm
When he was trying to crawl he would get on his tummy, wave arms & legs all over & then get really angry!  He's belly crawling, but still not crawling properly yet
This is EXACTLY what DS does.
Now he's belly crawling he shuffles over to my legs & grabs me when he's upset so I pick him up & give him a cuddle.
LOL - DO we have the same baby :P

Charmie, we have been trying that, though at the moment being a bit clingy if I get too close sometimes he just rolls over and wants cuddles.

Brooke - I am certain he will walk before he crawls...just want to be standing all the time, and trying to pull up. Then there is the added frustration there too that he cant move when standing and still needs help.

you will soon notice (if not already) that if a toy disappears out of sight he will try & look for it etc.  That's when you know he's starting to grasp the concept.
Yup he already looks for things, TBH I think he is a bit of a whinger when he doesnt get what he wants...we take a toy away, he packs it in. I walk away, he packs it in. I am trying to keep talking and do what I have to do (im only gone like 2 mins) and then come back and give him cuddles.
Has anybody ever been given advice to what you are supposed to do when they get frustrated?
No :( At the moment I try to help (but not too much) then get him to try again ro if he starts to loose it I am giving him cuddles and we are doing something else...probably the wrong thing to do!!!!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: charmie on June 10, 2011, 19:22:21 pm
Justine, I put him on the boppy (breast feeding pillow).  And in front of the tv.  I know it's not ideal but I've tried the mirror and books too.  The tv is the only thing that will keep him there for a few minutes.  I think the benefits of tummy time outweigh the negatives of a few minutes of tv.  There's a good thread on tummy time on the activity board.

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on June 12, 2011, 22:03:13 pm
Oh the joys to look forward to....I'm already seeing it during tummy time - he hates it. Has anybody ever been given advice to what you are supposed to do when they get frustrated?
Agh, tell me about it.
We are still struggling with tummy time, but it's much better (but only in the last few weeks, so it's coming your way).
What I did is insisting on tummy time. Every A time I would put him on his tummy, even if it was for 20sec till he started complaining (and by complaining I mean shouting for me to rescue him for this torture). Slowly slowly it became better and now he can tolerate a minute or two. Now I also put his favorite stuffed animal in front of him.

Sara - I remember you posted a while ago about Zac's ears (do I remember right?). How is he doing?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on June 12, 2011, 22:27:39 pm
Slowly slowly it became better and now he can tolerate a minute or two. Now I also put his favorite stuffed animal in front of him.
This worked for us too :) Now if I get Zac on a good day he will roll around and move on his tum for up to an hour! (Though he is not interested in crawling grrr)

I did...not sure if you are refering to his ear infection (which he is well and truely over thank goodness - that was hell!) or him ripping them off!!! - The pulling at them etc which caused tears has healed. But I did have to get antibiotics for him and cream. It seems he had a bacterial infection :( The stuff that the plunket lady told me to use made it 10 times worse grrrr. All good now though! :)

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on June 12, 2011, 22:38:01 pm


I did...not sure if you are refering to his ear infection (which he is well and truely over thank goodness - that was hell!) or him ripping them off!!! - The pulling at them etc which caused tears has healed. But I did have to get antibiotics for him and cream. It seems he had a bacterial infection :( The stuff that the plunket lady told me to use made it 10 times worse grrrr. All good now though! :)



Yeah, the ripping off, poor bub. Glad to hear it's better.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on June 12, 2011, 23:27:49 pm
Lyanna always hated tummy time as well...I used the breastfeeding pillow trick.  I would also lay on the bed and have her do tummy time on my tummy.  She loved watching mommy make funny faces and hear all the funny noises I could make :)  If she wasn't into it, I didn't force it...she had other things she was good at, and we just worked on those strengths instead of forcing the poor babe into something she was obviously uncomfortable with.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on June 30, 2011, 21:16:14 pm
Hey Ladies...do your touchies find teething really really really painful? Even when the teeth are just moving down ie not cutting? I feel like Zac is always in pain from teething even when they are not cutting but just moving around ie white and little pearl on the gums.

And...how do you all find the SA? At the moment we are getting it really bad. Well actually pretty much the day Zac turned 8 months it began!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Khalam's Mama on June 30, 2011, 21:21:13 pm
My touchy is too young to answer those questions for you Sara, sorry.

I am finding B is scoring much lower in the touchy dept now his reflux is controlled. Do any of you lo have reflux and do you find this anyone?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on June 30, 2011, 21:25:06 pm
I am finding B is scoring much lower in the touchy dept now his reflux is controlled. Do any of you lo have reflux and do you find this anyone?
Yes Khalams Mama  :D - DS has reflux and since about 7 months he has developed a spirited streak! :) His spirited streak is really more when it comes to A times, he is very determined and gets easily frustrated. He is also a bit o a spirited feeder and around people he feels 'safe' with. he is still very touchy with sleep, pain and settling. HE is also very touchy to large groups, noise and when he is OT or OS.  :-\ ::)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on June 30, 2011, 22:13:07 pm
Reflux here as well.  But we got in under control around 3 months with a thickened formula.  I find L's touchy reactions are much more manageable now that she has more control of her motion.  She will push someone away if she doesn't want to be held, and will back away from people when they get too close to her.  Things have really gotten better for her as she got older :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on July 01, 2011, 08:19:51 am
Same here.  Reflux and dairy intolerance.  Now controlled he is way way happier.  And now he is becoming more independent & can move around himself things have improved no end.

He still gets VERY upset if other people hold him or if he can't see his mummy though.  Had utter meltdown at playgroup yesterday b/c I left him to play & went to get a cup of tea.  He could see me still, but I wasn't right infront of him so it wasn't enough.  The main thing is that he will go to his grandparents (IL's) without crying....so I can have a break!  Just gotta work on him going to my mums now!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on July 01, 2011, 18:33:42 pm
Sara, yeah, teething is really really hard. What are you giving him?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on July 01, 2011, 19:50:26 pm
Well....he hates anything too cold in his mouth ::) SO I have been giving him homemade rusks and cruskits to munch on along with his teethers. He also likes cool water. And, I hate to admit it but I have been giving him pain relief before his naps and before BT the last few days or he just screams and screams and gets exhausted. The only thing he is settling with when he is bad is the boob as the dummies seem to hurt him.

Last night we had the worst! He screamed for an hour and nothing would calm him. I am too scared to look in his mouth this morning to see if that top tooth has cut in case it hasn't and there is more to come! Any other ideas for things I can do to ease his discomfort...it seems like he is ALWAYS teething... :(
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on July 01, 2011, 21:38:36 pm
Have you tried teething gel? And there are also the teething granules, they seem to at least ease it (the pain is still there iykwim), I also heard some moms here recommend the amber necklace.
With my LO I also tried many different things and unfortunately found that the only thing that helps is the pain relief stuff.
I didn't want to give it to him at all, but he suffered. Sometimes this "chemical" stuff is just the only way to go to stop them from suffering. If you think about it, it is an unbelievable pain, and it's so slow too! If the pain killers seem to help and you are getting some sleep, I'd say go for it.
Poor little Zac :(
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on July 01, 2011, 22:05:25 pm
Oh yes and bonjela (teething gel) :) We use that a bit and it does seem to help. The powder doesn't seem to have much effect.
We have an amber necklace...Thanks for reminding me as I haven't put it on him for a while. (Actually I forgot about it!)

Yeah...my mum is a nurse and both her and the DR have told me over and over that the pain med dosages are designed to be safe for use even if you have to use them consecutively for a period of time. It beats a baby in pain. I do agree but I still feel guilty, esp after him already being on meds for reflux.

Thanks for the tips and reminders Ima shel Alon :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on July 18, 2011, 23:41:24 pm
So DS is 9 months old and people keep asking me about his 1st birthday. I am really excited about it...but also terrified. All tehse people in his house making lots of noise. I am really worried he is going to get A) OS like you would not believe and B) Upset and overwhelmed with it all and cry the entire time!

Anyone with babies over 1 year BTDT and have tips on how I can have a birthday party for Z without it being a terrifying experience for him!!!!! I cant stop worrying about it :(
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Cecildix on July 19, 2011, 05:29:21 am
Hi, I am in need of some desperate help!!! I am new to this site (haven't had the chance to post pics) and a first time mother with a touchy/textbook 10 week baby girl and feel like I am a prisoner in my own home.  She seems to be so sensitive to everything and I can't seem to get her out of the house without her getting overtired or overstimulated. At this point its just not worth having to see her scream and cry in the afternoons because she can't seem to settle down and sleep. When I do get out I am nervous the entire time because I know what is coming when we get home. I just end up feeling like a horrible mother. She has meltdowns and sometimes there is no calming her down. If she misses a nap or I don't catch her when she yawns then its really hard getting her down and now once I do get her down she only sleeps for like 45 minutes. She sleeps good at night, but during the day she doesn't sleep very well and wakes up very easily. I feel like there is no "y" in my schedule. I have been on the EASY schedule for about a week now and things have gotten somewhat better, but I think it still needs to be tweaked. She can't seem to stay up for longer than an hour E and A and then its back down because she is yawing and ends up getting cranky. Then at 4:30 or 5:00 every evening when she is suppose to go down she won't and I end up spending an hour to get her down only to fail and then dinner is ruined. I haven't eaten a meal in weeks without screaming and having to eat so fast my stomach ends up hurting.  Also I am feeding her every two hours and it just seems like she snacks instead of eating and I am afraid my milk is going to dry up. Should we be going 3 hours? and if so how do I tweak my schedule??? Also, how I manage to not get her overstimulated or overtired by then end of the day? I have cut out basically everything to a point where I feel like she is not getting any interaction. I am so confused and can't seem to figure her out or read her.

FYI She usually eats well and loves her baths...I know that is not typical of a touchy baby. Any ideas how we can get out of the house for a couple hours without getting too tired. She is constantly looking around and is always jerking and moving. I don't know that she can ever really just relax. I know I am not mentioning everything, but please help this first time mommy out. I get that she may be a sensitive little girl and I am okay with that I just want to be a better mother to her. I think that she may be a little insecure because the world is such a big place.  



Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on July 19, 2011, 12:37:20 pm
Sara - I haven't BTDT, but would Zac be ok with a small gathering of family? Maybe you could do a small party for him with the family in the morning and a small party with friends in the afternoon? Or do it in a park or so that when things get too much you can take him for a stroll? Or maybe he'll have a mommy and daddy day, just the three of you :D ?

Cecildix, Lots of hugs. We all know how hard it can be. The first thing that pops to my mind is that many mothers found the sling or any other sort of carrier a life savor and that was the only way for them to go out of the house. We were lucky that DS felt protected enough in his pram when it had the cover on. Is that something you can do?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on July 19, 2011, 15:51:10 pm
Sara - We are doing a small-ish party with just our immediate family the weekend before her birthday.  Then on her actual birthday it will just be the three of us :)  I was also worried about her handling all 50+ people that we would have had to invite...and luckily hosting a big party is just not going to work out for us with the size of our house, etc.  I know my MIL will not like that we are not inviting great-grandparents and great aunts and great uncles and second and third cousins, but I don't care.  I told DH if she wants all those people invited then she can host a birthday party for L and feed everyone!

Cecildix - We've all been there!  It really did suck for us the first few months as well :(  It will not be like this forever though, so hang in there :)  With L I try to look at everything from her point of view.  At that age she would get over stimulated and overtired because she just wanted to observe every little thing...wanting to see and investigate and figure out everything around them is so overwhelming for such a little baby.  We always put a time limit on outings, so we could get her back home and in bed when she needed it (she would nap in her stroller if it was covered, but that phase ended when she decided she would rather see everything than sleep).  It made for short, quick trips but it helped keep her sleeping well.  Around 4 months her schedule allowed us to bring her out more often, and we took her out every weekend somewhere to get her used to new people and places, but only one outing each day (so she wasn't getting overstimulated).  We went through the rushed eating as well, but DH and I just ended up changing our eating schedule so that we were eating at 7pm after she went to bed.  That way we could eat together and not be rushed.  I don't remember too much of what I did with her play wise at 10 weeks, but I think it was basically letting her watch me do chores (or carry her in the sling while I did chores) and a little bit of time on her playmat with her dangly toys.  I don't have much advice for breastfeeding, I only breastfed for 3months...but I remember L having plenty of growth spurts between 0-3months where she was eating every 1.5hrs though.  Maybe check out the breastfeeding boards if you are concerned about your LO snacking, you may be able to get her to 2.5hrs between feedings at 10weeks, but I don't know that you will get longer until she is a bit older.  I know it's tough, but if you start looking at things the way she sees them you will start to understand her a bit better.  I promise it will get easier to figure out what she needs, and you will be able to leave the house again :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Khalam's Mama on July 19, 2011, 19:55:57 pm
We have a snooze shade to minimise os on outing. The rain and wind cover helped to reduce noise too. I wouldn't have a party for your lo if you know he wont enjoy it. The park is a good idea. We did this for k's 1st and it is less in your face and you can escape if he needs it.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on July 20, 2011, 07:12:21 am
Good ideas. It is hard because my parents and my IL are all excited about it and all my friends are going on and on...but I just know deep down he will prob get really OS and upset at all the noise. The park does sound like a good idea...and I think no matter what I may split it so friends maybe for an hour at a good time for him and family on the next day. Thanks ladies :D
LOL Brooke. There is no way we are having ALL the relies!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Khalam's Mama on July 20, 2011, 21:15:43 pm
Don't be pushed into a party at the expense of your lo. I hate it when you get pressure from family. It is good if they start to understand him now else he will forever be getting pushed into things that are too overwhelming for  him.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on July 20, 2011, 21:41:27 pm
I talked about it with DH last night and I think we have a good plan which will not put anyone out...but will not upset Zac.

We will do a family afternoon BBQ on Sunday. Just our parents, my grandma and my brother and his partner. Zac loves them all, knows them all, and I think will be fine with them all there at OUR house. (Not their houses ::) ) We have a big deck and grass and opened planned livng so plenty of room for Z not to feel trapped too.

The next weekend I will organise a small party with a few of his friends for about an hour and a half. Any longer and I think he will get over it. DH has a plan that after that time if Z starts to get over it he will just leave with him to his room and hang out while I deal with any guests that 'hang around' haha. I am going to do it in the morning and after his nap so that we have the afternoon to 'chill out'

I am feeling heaps better about it now thanks lovely ladies! :-*
I just remember a friends sons 1 birthday and it was INSANE! people and noise galore, the freaking TV on loud in the background, sugar sugar sugar! OS central for a normal baby let alone a touchy one. She wondered why her DS was wired all evening ::) It is totally what I don't want, but feel people expect sometimes  >:(
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Khalam's Mama on July 20, 2011, 21:46:35 pm
Sounds realistic. :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on July 21, 2011, 10:23:14 am
Sara, that sounds like a really good plan. Save us some cake!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on July 21, 2011, 19:09:04 pm
LOL that is the next thing...which cool cake to make hehe

How are al your LO's sleep going? We seemed to have hit a rough patch at night. NW are starting again and because Z is so much more alert and sitting/standing in his cot it is hard to settle with shh/pat. He just goes bezerk if we try PD ::)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on July 22, 2011, 14:38:08 pm
LOL that is the next thing...which cool cake to make hehe
Thats exactly my current dilemma!!!  DS's birthday in just under a month.  We are doing a small tea party & inviting a couple of friends & immediate family only.  I want to make him his 1st birthday cake & I want it to be really special!!!  So gotta get looking for ideas.

Oliver is sleeping OK through the night, just still waking up early (as I'm sure you've seen on the 2-1).  Siigh.  6 months of this now & no end in sight.  6am would feel like a real luxury lie in to me LOL!!! 

As for sitting/standing in cot he is doing this when we put him in bed for his naps & BT, but we just turn off the lights & walk out.  He usually just lays down & settled by himself.   
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Kta400 on July 23, 2011, 00:34:14 am
We are dealing with EWings as well. I hope it doesn't last too long! :)

For those of you making first birthday cakes and have issues with dairy/soy intolerances, there is a great blog with birthday cake recipes that you should check out. The strawberry cupcakes look delicious!
http://www.mspimama.com/search/label/Desserts
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on July 23, 2011, 03:11:05 am
Oliver is sleeping OK through the night, just still waking up early (as I'm sure you've seen on the 2-1).  Siigh.  6 months of this now & no end in sight.  6am would feel like a real luxury lie in to me LOL!!!
HUGS We have been having NW a lot at the moment and sometimes I feel we are doing it all wrong...no matter what I do we get them, all random times too :(

As for sitting/standing in cot he is doing this when we put him in bed for his naps & BT, but we just turn off the lights & walk out.  He usually just lays down & settled by himself.
I have been getting this for a few days which is so cool, but then I get a bad day and he sits and cries and cries for me.

Kta thanks for the link! :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on July 23, 2011, 18:40:32 pm
NW here as well.

Sara love the new pic of little Zac, he is so cute!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on July 23, 2011, 18:56:44 pm
Thanks, Not sure where the Ginger hair came from, but I suspect my brother, he has a tinge lol :P
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: bilodeau on August 14, 2011, 02:41:12 am
Ladies, i think my # 2 ( 3 weeks old) is touchy. ( first one was spirited). Before i go further here, anyone can guide me on where i can find that " test" to help you figure out what type your baby is? I did it with # 1 but cant find it now..
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on August 14, 2011, 04:28:06 am
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52283.0 :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: shirat on September 07, 2011, 19:17:34 pm
my baby is a touchy/spirited. she is 6 months old and still takes an hour every night to fall asleep and is up from 3-5 am every night. I tried feeding her then and that seemed to work, but now i removed the feed and she wont go back to sleep- she is wide awake from 3-5 am every night! im losing my mind! plus, her naps are terrible also. I am lucky if i can get an hour. Usually always wakes after 30-40 minutes and takes me about 20 minutes to get her back to sleep only to wake again 10 minutes later. at that point i give up. im tired, exausted and i have tried every possible solution- i even hired to sleep coaches and nothing worked!!! any one have ideas with how to deal with a baby like this???
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on September 07, 2011, 19:41:15 pm
(HUGS) shirat. Have you tried posting on the EASY or sleep boards for advice? I would suggest posting your EASY on teh EASY board first as it could be a routine issue. Long NW at this time can be due to UT or OT. At this age there is also a huge GS and developmental changes going on, which can affect touchy babies quite strongly sometimes. :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: MommaBrooke on September 07, 2011, 20:09:50 pm
Shirat - My LO is touchy and spirited as well...Spirited LOs generally are on the high end of A times (and lower sleep needs).  Trying to remember back to L at 6 months...She was on 2 naps and I think her schedule looked something like this:

7am Wakeup
9:30-11:30 Nap 1
2:30-4 Nap 2
7pm Bedtime

I think the trick with the touchy/spirited combo is trying to figure out the right A times (L liked increasing A times through the day) otherwise you get a big fight and UT nap.  Is she happy when she wakes up at 3am? If so, you probably do need to increase her A times during the day.  I find OT usually results in angry nws but it's fairly easy to get them back to sleep...UT nws are usually long and content :)  Good luck!  May be worth it to post your EASY on the EASY board like Sara suggested, and maybe post a link to it in the spirited support thread asking for the lovely ladies over there to take a peek as well (because when you're dealing with a spirited LO it's a whole different set of rules ;) ).
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: shirat on September 08, 2011, 16:43:55 pm
its not gs related, since she has been like this forever! her routine is nap every 2 hours now. I started offering the paci again (after trying to wean her off it, which  didn't seem to make things any better) by naps and she's asleep within minutes in my arms. if i am a couple minutes off she is impossible- she looks like she is falling asleep but the minutes i put her down she is wide awake! She seems to be having trouble settling down on her own- she constantly is flapping her arms, kicking her feet, looking around, i have to hold down her arms, legs and cover her eyes every nap and bedtime. Basically She gets so distracted and she cannot calm donw. i joke that i have a baby with ADD! she just won't stay still and calm down. No matter if she had 3 naps, 2 naps , short naps or long naps, its the same thing every night- an hour to fall asleep and nw's and up by 6am for the day
Im offering her solids now, its a disaster as well- she just wont look straight at me- only over her shoulder....
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Sara~ on September 08, 2011, 17:04:57 pm
Hi shirat :)  I agree with Sara (ZacsMumme): feel free to post on the EASY board or the General Sleep board to get some specific advice for your LO.  My little guy was a spirited sleeper at that age, too, and his room was like a CAVE, I kid you not.  If she's not used to going to sleep on her own in her crib (and not in your arms) that will take some time to help her learn.

And don't feel too pressured about the solids right now; she's still so little and they're more for fun and exploration at this point than a bulk of her nutrition.  That said, I think posting on the EASY board is your best bet to make sure her routine is a good fit for her.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: shirat on September 08, 2011, 17:19:23 pm
thanks, i am trying to figure out where and how to post everything....
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Sara~ on September 08, 2011, 17:42:42 pm
Here's the EASY board:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=41.0

All of the boards look like this/work the same way.  All you have to do to create your own thread is hit the "New Topic" button/link/tab on the top right of the board, just under the FAQ Section. :)  It's the 3rd tab from the left.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on September 10, 2011, 13:58:07 pm
Hi Shirat, I want to second (and third and fourth :P) the advice to post on the EASY board. The ladies here are great and they all have been there, so I am sure you'll get good advice.
Don't despair, things will get better and sometimes a really small tweak in your EASY can change a whole night.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: shirat on September 11, 2011, 05:44:36 am
thanks everyone i posted on the easy board so we will see what happens. She was up at 5:15 friday night and would not go back to sleep until 7:30 :(
HOw do you deal with a short napper, bad night sleeper and extending activity time? even if i wanted to extend her awake time i can't since she barely makes her 2 hr mark because she is so tired from only half hr am nap and bad nights...
Also any advice of feeding solids to a touchy baby??? its a disaster! shes not interested- i have to feed her sideways because she looks over her shoulder or anywhere else but at me! she only has about 10-15 minutes before she starts bugging out...
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Khalam's Mama on September 11, 2011, 09:35:28 am
Have you thought about blw? She sounds like she isn't that interested as my Ds1 wasn't for 4 wk then he started eating lots.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: shirat on September 12, 2011, 07:17:36 am
sorry, whats blw?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Sara~ on September 12, 2011, 18:20:14 pm
BLW=baby lead weaning.  Here's an FAQ thread that talks about it: http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=92560.0.  Plus, you can find loads of info on the web.

The key with starting a new routine or adjusting a routine is that sometimes it's a gradual process.  Sometimes, it's true, there's a quick fix; but mostly it's more a steady change.  She'll get there.  Don't worry :)  Then she'll be doing something else that will leave you wondering :)  There is a LOT of growth, development and change during the first year.  It seems like that's the only thing that stays the same: change.  Hang in there!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on September 22, 2011, 21:01:25 pm
Hi ladies, just joining in as I *think* Colby (DS2) is touchy. Cadan (DS1) was textbook/angel so this is all new to me.
Colby is only 6wks so we're still finding our feet. We swaddle at night and he has a NF at 3-4am after a BT of 8pm-ish,then he's up around 7am either for another feed then another hour or two of sleep or he's up for the day then. I'm not swaddling for naps because I feel it will mean he's swaddled for most of the day. His day sleep is inconisistent. This afternoon he slept from 2-6pm when I woke him up but sometimes I can bearly get half hour from him unless I hold him.   
He goes down to sleep independently at BT (although with a soother he spits out after a while) but often spends up to an hour or more just staring until he drops off. He rarely goes down independently for naps but then we do lots of naps on in the pram or wrap because I am out lots with Cadan at playgroups etc. I do need to work on inde naps but at the moment if we are home he mainly falls asleep feeding or being held and then I put him in the cot. He wakes about half the time when set down though. My one failsafe to get him asleep is to feed him lying on my bed and then leave him where he is when he falls off the boob.
Colby cries a lot during his A time. He is sensitive about who holds him (much to my mum's dismay) and jumps lots at noises, which can be a pain when you have a 21mo running around the place banging a xylophone!
He's very windy and sicks up a lot so I'm using Infacol and I've been trying a dairy-free diet for the last 3 weeks.
On a positive note he smiled at my mum today which made her day.  :)
I look forward to getting to know you other mamas of touchy babies and sharing tips.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on September 23, 2011, 00:17:44 am
Welcome Ali :-* Z was very touchy when he was little, but I think a lot of it was OT and discomfort for us which made it worse.
I am not sure how he is 'crying' during his A time, but one thing that always helped settle Z during A time cries was to walk outside int he fresh air around the house (if it isn't too cold.) I have no idea why! Fresh air maybe and sound of birds rather than indoor noise? Plus it helped me to relax I think which he sensed. Rocking to music always helped too,esp if there was a lot of other stuff going on, it helped him to tune it out.  

I think (only from my experience) that touchies are really in tune with your emotions. When I felt tense or stressed he always had a worse day and wouldn't settle as well.

If he is in his own room white noise may help too...esp if he has a strong moro reflex.

On the touchy front here. I think my little monkey is now about 50/50 spirited...esp when it comes to not getting what he wants ::)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on September 23, 2011, 01:35:25 am
Thanks Sara. Colby sleeps in a Moses basket in our room but We do use a waves white noise track when i put him down to sleep and he seems to like it. His crying during A time is mostly just grizzly probably from OT or not liking his position or who's holding him. Sometimes it is that no one is holding him. sometimes it's more grunting from the wind. I'll keep the trip round the house in mind. Ta.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on September 23, 2011, 06:53:38 am
Sometimes it is that no one is holding him.
awww believe it or not I miss that now! During his A times Z only wants lots of relaxed cuddles when he is sick or teething. Otherwise its clingy wriggly cuddles ::)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on September 23, 2011, 17:03:03 pm
I do believe it and I love cuddling him and smelling his little head. It's just sometimes I need to cook or sort Cadan out etc. I always pick him up or bounce him in the bouncer etc. if he cries BTW. Don't want it to sound like I'm leaving him to cry for his A time. Cadan isn't into cuddles either now. I only really get them when I BF him morning and at BT or very occasionally if he sits with me to watch a TV show.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on September 23, 2011, 18:02:10 pm
I so agree with Sara.
For us the touchiness was also related to OT, and now when sleep is more settled it gets much easier.
A was never touchy to light or noise, but when he was so little he didn't like people much and as Sara said he was (and still is) very sensitive to how I was in myself.
Being out has helped a lot and sometimes is was the only thing that would calm him down.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Lissie on September 27, 2011, 20:54:14 pm
...can babies be Touchy in one or two areas but not all? Sian is a text book baby in most ways I think - took to weaning very well - loves new flavours, happy to go to strangers if she's prepared by me, and she thrives on knowing whats coming next. Shes actually quite relaxed if her routines are in place...it was fairly easy to put her on the E & A parts of EASY - once her feeding body clock was set it took a week to shift her from hourly snacking to 4 hourly.

BUT when it comes to sleep she is a different child - very easily disturbed, a bang or click will make her scream, as will being touched. She hates too much light in her room, needs white noise. Her OT crying is something else - it sounds like someone is torturing the poor girl!...the most horrible high pitched squeeling - far worse than her pain cry! Its like someone has stolen my calm little smiler and planted a totally different child in the cot. :( She so rarley cries properly - but it haapens all the time when she naps in the day - always a battle to calm and settle her down, then a battle to keep her asleep x
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on September 27, 2011, 22:36:17 pm
...can babies be Touchy in one or two areas but not all?
Yup. Z is a touchy as sleeper and with new people/things. He is my very cautious wee man. But in other areas he is very determined and spirited. I think with touchies too the routine in place really helps them to be 'less' touchy. Z thrives on consistancy, so much so that with it he is a lot less touchy.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on September 27, 2011, 23:20:33 pm
Yes it definitely says in the book that touchies thrive on consistency and knowing what to expect.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Lissie on September 28, 2011, 09:25:51 am
Is that awful OT crying typically of a Touchy baby? Ive never heard another baby do it...so upsetting to hear.

Sleep much better for 1st nap with HTTJ - went down at 9.15, its 10.24 and and she's still alseep!! YAY...hopefully have a happier baby today as I cant really make her A time much more low key without her doing absolutley nothing lol!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on October 15, 2011, 08:14:25 am
lissie sorry for the delay. Colby also cries lots when OT and it's really heart breaking. Luckily he stops as soon as i put him in his woombie with his soother and white noise. Sometimes he spits the soother out and cries but normally stops again if i pat or hold my hand on him and replug.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on October 15, 2011, 08:26:26 am
I agree, when zac was smaller once he was ot he would get so wound up and very upset heartbreaking crying...no whimpers here ::) but on the upside now he is a lovely sensitive toddler and other than this and cautiousness he has outgrwn a lot of the touchiness.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on October 15, 2011, 09:34:48 am
Sara, just saw that Zac was one day old yesterday!!! Happy birthday to him, you all must have been so excited. I remember you were asking for advice how to celebrate it (with him being touchy) and am wondering how did it all go.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: shirat on October 23, 2011, 08:09:01 am
still having no luck- any other advice????? she wakes after 30 minutes and wont go back to sleep, her bedtime takes over an hour and wakes a couple time during the night and then up for the day by 6/6:30! i tried increasing her activity time for 2 hours to 2:30 but still no difference! i am losing my mind! i am averaging 3 hours of sleep a night for 7 months! please someone help....
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on October 23, 2011, 08:14:40 am
Thanks ima shal alon, we had a lovely birthday for Zac. We actually split it into 2. An afternoon early family BBQ from 3-7pm then then next sat a kiddie party from 2-5 both went so well, and both days zac was well rested for them. He was a lot less touchy than I thought he would be, and re the kiddie party I only invited friends and kids he knew not just that I knew IYKWIM.

Shirat, hugs. Have you posted on the main boards? Maybe try EASY or naps, you will get so many more eyes there :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: stevesmum on November 21, 2011, 04:37:23 am
Sorry to bother you ladies, but besides doing the quiz (which DH and I found rather applicable answers in every category  - a little bit of everything ABC!) would you say there are some DEFINITE 'I've got a touchy baby' characteristics??? Bub's 3mo+ and I'm curious after reading some of the posts here.
Thanks.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on November 21, 2011, 08:04:04 am
Yup my DS as a baby was a touchy sleeper, he had a small sleep window, gets OT easily and melts down. There is no whining, 0-100 all in one go so he will either settle, or scream! This did change as he grew older :D

He was also sensitive to noise, loud ones would frighten him, startle him or confuse him when young. Lots of stimulation, people or busy new places would make him guarded, or cry. He would be scared and cautious until he was eased into the situation. New people are the same.

Ummm that's all I can think of now! HTH
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: stevesmum on November 21, 2011, 08:40:14 am
Thank you! I'm now that much clearer. We're not Touchy much at all - if any. good thing they're closer to angel/textbook - they've got a screwball for a mumma!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: marakino on January 06, 2012, 22:56:12 pm
Hello ladies,

I need a bit of advice. My LO is 8.5 month old mainly touchy baby, who gets startled by, scared of and upset by every noise very easily. He has been like this since the beginning. Both his dad and I are very conscious of his touchy-ness and socialise him slowly, giving him the time to ease into the situation at hand at his own pace.

However, every time I go to a mothers' meeting with other babies, or baby swimming, which he really enjoys, as soon as another baby makes any sort of noise, both happy or sad, squealing with joy or anger, crying or simply babbling, my LO starts crying. He is also extremely noise sensitive with adults. Sneezing, coughing, creaking floor boards, anything really, sets him off. Outside noises as well - motorcycles, trucks, birds, car horns etc. get him going.

It affects his sleep too, as it startles him out of his naps, or even at night time, a windy night will have him waking frequently.

He seems ok with his own noises though, as long as he's the only one doing the squeeling :)

Seriously though, I don't know what to do, as even just going to a small cafe with one other baby or to a friendly mum's house can prove challenging, and other mums are starting to shy back from letting their babies interact with my LO at all for fear of 'scaring' him and setting him off.

Does anyone have any ideas for how I can desensitise him or at least make it less scary for him? Are there perhaps any exercises or games I can play with him, which could help?

Thanks for your advice.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on January 07, 2012, 18:23:47 pm
(((Hugs))) hun, they can be tough sometimes, ah?
If it's any comfort many mommies if touchies say that with time their LOs grow out of some touchy features, including mine.
Regarding the sleep I recommend white noise. You'd think because it's noise he's going to react to it, but I don't know of any baby who didn't like white noise. You can start with it quite low and every other day up the volume. The white noise swallows all sounds so he will only hear the white noise and hopefully won't wake up.
I don't have much advice about the socializing bit, I am afraid. The only thing is that I remember a mother here telling how her LO was so scared of sneezing and they (mom and dad) just burst out laughing when someone sneezed and made a game out of it. After a while she started smiling as well :) Maybe that would help.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on January 08, 2012, 07:34:42 am
Lol Z was terrified of sneezing, he laughs now and tries to copy. They do get better over time. TBH I just tried to minimize large playmates ie do small ones with just 1-2 people and I never put Z down unless I felt he was ready. I still need to let him decide when he is ready in new places. If I push him towards things or people he retreats and rejects.

I notice your LO has a paci.iknow they aren't the greatest in public, but if you feel the sucking helps calm then don't be afraid to offer its while he is still little if he gets upset out, or needs that comfort to stay okay.

Do you play games with noises? I found board books with sounds are great, having music or the radio on at home, encourage him to make noise and when he does make it back and smile.

I try to do all firsts ie first trip to beach, park etc all when I am relaxed and have lots of time, and just me and DH so that there is no extra stress.

Sleep - white noise and blackout blinds saved our sleep...  Hang in there,they do get less touchy.  :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on January 08, 2012, 12:32:08 pm
I know Tracy was a fan of comfort items like a blankie. Does your de have one of those? It easy for him to hang on to one of those while still being able to get involved and speak (when he can) in group settings without having to cling to you.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: clairebear79 on January 08, 2012, 13:45:22 pm
Agree with all the other ladies suggestions.  We never used white noise but blackout blinds & a comfort blankie or teddy have been really helpful.  My DS was just like you describe when he was younger, very sensitive to everything & would cry very easily.  I promise you it definitely does get better with time, so hang in there!!!  We've just been to a soft play party today & I was amazed as usually he would cling to me for ages before he feels confident enough to go off & play, but he just toddled right off today! 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: marakino on January 11, 2012, 15:00:59 pm
Thanks ladies for all the suggestions. We used to use white noise before we got onto EASY but then stopped 'cause my LO responded so well (if we stayed within his minuscule window). I might give it a try again though.

As to loud/musical games/toys when he's awake. We've actually given away quite a few, because they would freak him out so much. I've still got some percussion toys lying around though in the hope that he'll get over it at some point and give banging a go :)

Most of the time I don't mind his touchiness. It just makes me sad to see other kids enjoy interacting so much, while he's so scared of everything and every noise. Hopefully, he'll grow out of it or at least get better at dealing with it. Otherwise, I'd worry how he'll cope once we send him to daycare. 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: marakino on January 11, 2012, 15:14:04 pm
Oh I forgot, he does have a blankie, but he doesn't seem that partial to it. He's had it since he was about 4 months old and we've been putting him down with it since then, but on the few occasions that it's been in the wash or in another room, he hasn't seemed too bothered with it missing.

He also doesn't seem to have a preference for any of his toys yet. As far as I've read, it might still be a bit early for him to have developed an attachment though, so I'm keeping an eye out for any preference changes on this front.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: petram on January 18, 2012, 10:08:07 am
Hi ladies
My lo is 7.5 months he is mostly angel but when it comes to sleep hes definately touchy, ive always known this because when he was very tiny he would only settle when swaddled from head to foot, he didn't transition to the cot well until I put 3 pillows around him (1 either side and 1 at the top) covered with a fleece balnket that he lies on to make it cosy, he STTN unless hes cold (you wouldn't believe how many layers he wears at night just now!!)

Any way, I only have a five minute sleep window and if i miss it we have a screaming melt down for ages, yesterday we went to musical monkies which he loves, i was 10 mins later than normal putting him down and he screamed for 1hr 10mins, when he finally went to sleep he kept waking up crying and would take 10mins to 30mins to resettle again, when he is like this I APOP. I don't mind the APOP as he gets such alot out of the things we do but its upsetting to see him sooo upset  :'(

Its not always possible to get back on time, over christmas i had to take my other one to drs and of course the time was wrong and we had a melt down all the way home and beyond!

He loves people, especially other babies and he isn't bothered by new things so i know its just the sleep thing, what do you do when your lo is having a meltdown?
Nothing seems to work i just have to be there while he does it  :(
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on January 18, 2012, 18:00:30 pm
Nothing else helped for us either, just to be there, in total darkness and I usually fed to sleep because it was always the one thing that really calmed him down.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: JsMom on January 19, 2012, 02:15:55 am
Hello,

I have an almost 4 month old touchy baby and am at a cross road with my family. I thought I would come here to vent and welcome any thoughts…

My lo J is a happy baby but very touchy, so if he becomes uncomfortable he has a meltdown. He does not like a lot of people all at once they overwhelm him, he is much better one on one. He doesn’t enjoy the car so when we do go somewhere he is overtired / stimulated form crying the whole ride to where we are going. If we do run out it has to be in the morning or early afternoon after 4 is not an option he will cry the whole time. He won’t nap well anywhere but home.  I try my hardest to respect the way he is so I try to avoid situations that make him uncomfortable. I’ve tried to explain his personality to my family but they just mock me and think I am overprotective.

It’s so frustrating because I feel like they completely disrespect my boundaries. My parents come over and they are so up in J’s face and obnoxious with him it stresses me out. J loves them but they come a 6:30 and do this expecting him to be up and ready to play all night. When they leave he is so over stimulated, it takes me more than an hour close to 2 to get him to sleep. When they do come during the day they don’t understand that he has to nap. My sisters want me to run around with them everywhere and just have him tag along. When I say no they always have some comment about me having to get him used to going places and get him used to being around lots of people. I don’t agree… I do take him places and he is around people but why put my lo in uncomfortable situations for him. When ever I try to explain to them J just has a sensitive personality and he likes things more low key and has to be on a schedule they all laugh at me to my face.

This has me so frustrated! Worst of all it is driving a wedge b/t me and my family. I am tired of all the advice and remarks I avoid them. It’s hard with my parents b/c they will just show up, which is worse.

Since you girls have first hand experiences with touchy babies what do you think? Am I too overprotected and being too much of a first time mom as the fam would say? Thank you very much just venting feels better. Sorry this is so long!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: JsMom on January 19, 2012, 02:40:12 am
Sorry just 1 more comment...I am also sick of them telling me I need to do the double door treatment as in CIO and that I should have stop breast feeding him by now...
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Khalam's Mama on January 19, 2012, 22:39:12 pm
The recommendations by the WHO are to BF to 2yo so why *should* you have stopped by now? I would just say that to them. plenty of BF babies are not touchy so they can't blame that.
Have you told your family how you are finding this very off putting/upsetting? Can you try to highlight some of the things you can do that help him? Maybe if they see him more settled/receptive to them when they take their time or he is well rested for example they will realise you know him best.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on January 20, 2012, 19:10:40 pm
Hugs. It is really tough dealing with family members when they don't understand. I think you may need to do what KM has suggested and sit down and talk to your family...maybe they don't realize how much it is affecting you. you know your LO best, and touches re hard enough without feeling this way :-*

I do remember with Z a lot of people didn't understand but as he got older they got better...silly really because as he got older he outgrew the touchy side of him and now he is spirited as!

Re CIO I didn't even relate it to his personality as it made no diffence to me, but I just repeated the something to everyone 'I don't believe in CIO, there is a lot of current research to support my reasons which I am happy to go over with you.' my other comment was 'I am his mother, and I believe it is my job to be there for him the best way I can, that doesn't involve leaving him to cry when he needs me or is scared, cold or too tired to do iron his own, there are other ways to sleep train without abandoning them'

HTH oh and as KM says, as far as BF goes, a lot of older people IME are a bit old fashioned with feeding. I was bottle fed as was ALL my friends. BF offers so much to your LO in the first 2 years of life, if you want to keep Bf then don't let them put you off :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: roimata9 on June 22, 2012, 09:07:44 am
Help! I have  a completely overtired getting over an illness spirited baby who is refusing to sleep. WHat do I do????? All my usual fall back APOP options aren't working - drive in car, rocking or feeding to sleep. He's so worked up he just won't calm down. Any advice and SOON would be really appreciated! He woke at 1am last night with a fever and has only slept 2 hours since then. It's now 9pm. We are getting desperate!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on June 23, 2012, 15:18:38 pm
(((Hugs))).
I would suggest you start a new topic on the EASY board or the Going back on track board so you can get as many eyes as possible on your specific issue. It sounds like there is a lot going on now and I just want you to get the proper support.
Just as a side note, if he is not well there is not much that you can do but keep him as comfortable as you can. Once it passes it could be that things will go back to the way they were.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Jessleigh on July 06, 2012, 03:09:24 am
JsMom - i can totally relate. While my family isn't quite that extreme, i do have a hard time explaining to people my 6 month old DD's sensativity. I really didn't realize how touchy she is until yesterday. (i always thought she was more spirited). But we went to the beach, and there were loads of people there for the 4th of July and i put her down on the towel (after slowly introducing her to her surroundings) and she freaked. I had to hold her the whole time. So much for relaxing in the sun. Then we had a party to go to that night. We almost never go out at night because of bedtime but i thought because we did it so rarely, we should, and that we'd get DD home just 30mins past bedtime. O MAN! She was so scared at the party (of like 8 people). I had to hold her the whole time. I hate having to explain to people to please not get up in her face. I also hate telling people they can't hold her. I feel like i'm being too overprotective. I've tried easing her into letting people hold her and sometimes she lets them as long as we take it reaaaally slow and i'm right there the whole time. But then it only lasts a few minutes before she gets her scared face and her arms go out and her bottom lip starts quivering.

Anyway, yesterday and last night set us up for a crazy OT day. only 4 30min naps, 2 of which i had to AP because she would NOT settle. Then took 45mins of crying to finally get to sleep tonight (with multiple times of drifting off and then freaking herself out with jolting awake). She even freaks herself out sometimes if her thumb sucking makes a noise as she's drifting to sleep (so sad!) :(. 

I feel like DH and I can never go to social events anymore! I don't mind missing out for DD's sake, but the occassional get together would be nice to attend with DD and not have to pay for it for the rest of the week. We usually just end up having people over at our place after DD is asleep. It's just hard having to say no to so many things when other friends of mine just cart their baby along and they do fine.

Anyway, just wanted to share that you're not alone with feeling like you have to be really sensitive with sleep times and outings. My DH sometimes thinks I'm coddling her too much too..but then I'm the one who  has to deal with the aftermath of her missing a sleep window or being out too late in the evening so I just have to be OK with the fact that DD is just needs things to be a certain way right now.

It's good to know that it does get better! Now that I'm seeing her touchy side come out so much more I'm getting worried about all our upcoming travels! O well...I'll just have to roll with the punches...
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on July 06, 2012, 14:34:05 pm
Yes, it does get better!
How old is your DD now? Could it be worse now because of SA?
Would you consider taking a babysitter so you and DH can go out? I know it's hard...
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Jessleigh on July 06, 2012, 16:22:49 pm
She just turn 6months last week. I've been afraid to try a babysitter but now that she's STTNing (thank you PUPD!) i think we'd be pretty safe if we went out after she was down at 7pm (and pray she doesn't wake to find mommy gone!) almost never wakes though (maybe once when she was OT).

We've been doing breakfast dates instead (with her). But it would be nice to get out alone. I think I'm ready to give it a try. She's had stranger anxiety since about 3months old. I have to introduce new people really slowly, unless she's in her carrier at the grocery store, etc... then she's fine and will give people big smiles.

My DH and i went on a date a month ago when my mom was in town because she was the only one i was comfortable with at the time. DD still had her paci at that point so i thought she'd be OK but she screamed with my mom for over an hour. :( That was before she was going to sleep independently though so i think that was really hard on her.

When did you notice it getting better with your LO? I'm feel like i'm starting to notice it getting worse right now (with getting scared of noises).
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on July 08, 2012, 10:36:00 am
I think it was around 10-11 months.
Alon, for example, liked people and was smiling and all, but he had to see them a few times and know that they are harmless before he'd open up to them. I just tried to except it, even though it was hard when you see other babies who would go to anyone and are so attached.
Fighting the touchiness will not work, this will just be not listening to one's baby and his needs, so I think your DD is very lucky to have a mommy like you who is so sensitive to her needs.
Teething can also be difficult to touchies. I mean. it's hard on most babies, but they take it quite bad. Maybe that's why you feel it's worse now, maybe something is moving under her gums.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on July 09, 2012, 01:12:01 am
I think it was around 10-11 months.
yeah same here :-\ though DS was always ok with my mum, so I was lucky I had 1 person I could offload him too ;)
The thing is, Z is a lot less touchy now than he was, but when teething, sick or tired he goes right back to being very touchy and needing me or DH and his comforts. I guess im trying to say it gets better, but you may still find this is a problem on and off for a while :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Jessleigh on July 09, 2012, 16:20:19 pm
Teething can also be difficult to touchies. I mean. it's hard on most babies, but they take it quite bad. Maybe that's why you feel it's worse now, maybe something is moving under her gums.

Possibly...i can't feeling anything yet but she's 6.5 months and still no teeth! So maybe there's something going on.

Plus we're trying to extend A times right now. Hard with the spirited/touchy mix! I'm trying to do it slowly (just 10mins extra) but yesterday we ended up with four 30min naps and a very grumpy bub. :(
Seeing how today goes. I'm on the naps board for help with that.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on July 09, 2012, 16:56:50 pm
My DS was so sensitive with sleep (still is when I come to think of it) that I only increased 5min at a time.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: TracyP21 on September 11, 2012, 22:41:39 pm
Hi, I have a touchy with a dash of spirited 7.5 month old DS - just wondering about your WD rountine - short / long?  Do your touchies have a short sleep window?  Do they need room darkened, white noise etc?  My wee chap sleeps all night but gives me all sorts of grief during the day at home in his cot for naps.  Naps fine in the carseat or pram.  Can't seem to ss during the night - end up holding him till he's asleep.  At night he does down awake and puts himself to sleep after a chat.  Sleeps 6.30/7.00pm till 6.20am in the morning without a peep out of him - I know I am very lucky.  Really want to help him during the day though - bedtime is sometimes 6.00 because he's so tired after only 2 x naps of 40 mins a day.  I have already got the nap ladies looking at this but just wanting to hear from some touchy baby mum's for any insight.  He also wakes at the 40 min mark and will not resettle with my help - its like a bit of the tiredness has been taken out of him but then he tires easily and gets progressively OT as the day goes on.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on September 12, 2012, 16:05:48 pm
We simply had no WD :D DS wouldn't have any of it, he just wanted to go into his room, close the curtains and get in the cot! We only had white noise later on when we moved to a noise part of the town, but till then (8m) we lived in a very quiet area so it was ok. The room was pitch black, not a crack of light, lol.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: henrysmomma on October 07, 2012, 15:18:53 pm
Forgive me if this is not in the right spot but I just found this thread and have been reading everyone's posts and what a relief to know that everyone else is dealing with most of the same stuff; hence, the meaning for this thread.  Thank you!

Where can I get a more in-depth definition of a touchy baby?  I have scoured the book and just found the one or two paragraphs. Is there a general guide on how to deal with certain idiosyncrocies? (sp-sorry)

I feel that I have a touchy baby overall with a few spirited personality traits. 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on October 07, 2012, 17:22:25 pm
Hi there,
All I can find is this: The Five Types - Everyday Moments
If you read a bit back on the thread here then you can get more information about touchies, really. Swaddle, white noise and understanding that when they are very little they need more "protection" from the enviorment than other babies is pretty much the key. Most mommies to touchies find that when they get older the touchiness get much easier and it's almost like it disappears.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on October 07, 2012, 19:08:02 pm
It's true. I actually think I need to do the toddler quiz and see if Colby is still coming out as a touchy. He is a happier chappy these days.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: nednoodle on October 08, 2012, 20:05:16 pm
26 MONTH OLD DD TOUCHY/SPIRITED - ? SEPARATION ANXIETY

Hi all, am really hoping some of you with older touchy kids can help me out here.  Baby Whisperer Forum was a life saver when DD was a baby, kept me sane knowing I was not alone!  However as she got older, I found I had less need to visit the forums.  My daughter is first and foremost a touchy child but once comfortable with her surroundings and company, fits more into the spirited type.  However over the past few weeks she has changed and I want advice as to whether you guys think it is some form of separation anxiety.

DD has started making a slight fuss when dropping her off at nursery where she has been going since she was 9 months.  She loves it there and begged to go recently when she was ill so I know once I go she still enjoys it.  She has become ultra-clingy even at home which is so unlike her as like I said, she acts more like a spirited child when content.  If I leave the room for a couple of minutes she shouts "Mummy where are you?" and if I don't reply or she can't find me straight away, she gets distressed and starts to panic.  She is also asking to be held all the time "Up,up".

Worse than all of these is the problems with sleep.  We have always had problems since she was born but she has been great for ages now.  We have to sit in her room till she falls asleep (this is amazing compared to what she was like!), usually about 20 mins.  She sleeps through the night UNLESS she has anything whatsoever bothering her (eg. cold, teething etc..) then she always wakens.  When she used to just lie until she fell asleep, she is now bobbing up and down checking we are still there.  Tonight it took over an hour for her to fall asleep and she must have got up and down about 20 times.  Also she is wakening every night and just to get some sleep, we end up with her in the bed where she is still a bit restless and clings to me.

The reason I have put this on this thread and not night wakening is I need the understanding of parents with touchy kids.  If I leave her to cry etc I will only distress her more as if this is separation anxiety then I need to be there for her.  It may sound unbelievable but whenever she has been ill or teething in the past and we have taken her into our bed, as soon as she has improved she sleeps through the night again.  She never caused a fuss about going into her own bed.

I guess after thinking I had her "sussed" I am taking bad with this and not sure how long it is likely to last.  Any help will be most appreciated.  Thanks!

Nikki
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on October 08, 2012, 20:35:26 pm
I think what she is doing is a normal developmental stage. I know many people have BT resistance and wanting parents to stay between 2-2.5yo. I think a lot of it is developmental. They realise you can go and never cone back. They can refuse to sleep and you can't make them. They are gaining independence but they still want to test you that you still love them if they do "naughty" things. We had it at 27-28mo. It coincided with my older DS (who is textbook) climbing out the cot and moving to a bed. It also was a sign that he needed less day sleep to be more tired at BT.
Has your DD been on her current routine for a while and perhaps needs a tweak? My DS was on a 2hr nap for about a year and then suddenly needed it to be capped drastically
Potty training can also bring on sleep disturbances but may only be temporary. Not sure if you have begun PTing yet but thought I would mention it.
Is she in a bed or still a cot?
Has she moved rooms at the daycare or has there been a change in the staff or friends that could be upsetting her?
Just some ideas of things to consider.
Personally we went with gradual withdrawal to get out the room. So DH started sitting next to the bed, then just inside the door, outside the door, at the other end of the hallway and then could just come downstairs. It took about 2 months because we did it in 2wk stints at each stage but involved no crying at all and now DS1 is a fab independent sleeper just like he was before the trouble began. We kept to the position even for NWs and EWs and I think that really helped.
Oh another thought is that when DS2 was born that also upset DS1 to see the baby sleeping in our room and he commented on how no one wanted to sleep with him. You don't mention having another baby though.
HTH.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Canadian_Mom on October 08, 2012, 20:56:30 pm
Hi Nikki,
We go through what you are describing off/on with our now three year old.  Sometimes it is obvious what the cause is (OT, UT, changes in our lives etc), and sometimes I have no clue!!  If I don't know the cause we stick to our routine as much as possible, but I give him as much extra attention/cuddling that I can.  As well, as his language skills started to increase I started to explain things as much as I could.  For example, when you leave the room tell her where you are going and that you will be back as well trying saying something like remember last time that I went to the kitchen to get something mommy came right back.  We always come out the other side of these "stages" sometimes they last long (with his 2 year molars it felt long...) and sometimes it is short, maybe only a few days!!
HTH!!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: henrysmomma on October 09, 2012, 00:44:01 am
I am not trying to butt in but I do have a question; what does bedtime look like for your touchies?  Ours requires at least two pu/pd before falling asleep and it generally takes an hour to two to actually get him down for the night.  I would love to hear how your bt routines go!  I am sure we are becoming a prop but we do what we have to to get him down.  He has only gone done twice on his own/right away without any pu/pd.  He almost always wakes after the first 45 and requires his prop aka paci to get back to sleep.  We still swaddle using three yards of fabric and the little Houdini always wriggles his way out, regardless of which swaddle technique we use. Thank you!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on October 09, 2012, 17:28:55 pm
henrysmomma, I think the best for you would be to start a new thread on the EASY board, it sounds to me more of a routine thing than *just* his touchiness.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: henrysmomma on October 22, 2012, 19:40:16 pm
Thanks so much!  I do have one question, however.  As we are approaching the holidays, we are getting a little concerned at having lots of company including my in-laws that live 14 hours away and haven't seen Henry since July.  They get 'up in his grill' and overdo it just to cram as many smiles as they can in the three days that they are here and it has ended in disaster each time that they have been here.  Now that we know that the colic is overwith and we are finally discovering Henry's touchy personality (with tons of smiles)-how do we go about explaining this to my in-laws who are definitely not going to understand.  They have an over-inflated idea of what faith is and any problems in our life is because we don't have enough faith, etc, etc.  (this is a whole 'nother topic that we could chew over for days)...I just don't know how to ease him into them being here and explaining to them why I cannot just toss him into their arms....

Not to criticize but we cannot possibly do anything right and him being a 'momma's boy' will most definitely be misconstrewed as a lack of discipline etc...I can hear it already....any suggestions??  We really do want Henry to get to know his grandparents and I hate to be the one to break their bubble that we will not be dropping him off for our week long Mexico anniversary trip next year.  Not gunna happen. I appreciate it.  Thank you!

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on October 22, 2012, 20:32:31 pm
Hugs HM. My IL are like this. OS central! FWIW now Z is older they are fine (phew)
I've learnt with my IL who 'mean well' but didn't get Z that I have to just offer information so they learn without me 'telling them'
For example I would say 'Z is very sensitive and needs his sleep, without it he gets tired and doesn't cope well so there is no use trying to skip is nap for a day out as no one has fun' or 'its just who he is, when he's upset he tells us! But when he's happy, he is delightful' or re OS 'Z seems to get overwhelmed easily, so if I feel he is getting OS please don't be offended if I remove him for a wee break'
WRT cuddles my MI
L would tick her face almost in my boob when I was feeding to get a look in  >:( eventually I just left the room to feed ;) later on when we realise Z didn't like new company's arms I just put it out there, come in have a seat, I would love you to have a wee cuddle soon but Z is sensitive so let's just catch up for a bit first and then see how he goes' maybe sit next to MIL? Or if you really want him away, pop him in a wrap on you ;)

Ugh, IL are tough, just try to be relaxed even if you feel frustrated as your LO will sense it. Will DH/D
 Maybe talk to his folks before they visit?

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on October 23, 2012, 09:06:12 am
IL are tough
and tougher when you have a touchy ;)
My IL are the same and it was also very difficult to say something them because they raised their kids so different and sometimes I think they think they are like the perfect parents or something. And we also lived far away so whenever they came or we visited it was for a few days and all they wanted is to play and look at him while all he wanted was to sleep (and couldn't).
There were two things that helped me.
Till this day whenever someone comes for a visit, after a minute or two I tell them "it takes Alon time to be ok around people". And that's it. I found that keeps me calm with whatever behavior is coming because I warned them.
The other thing is that I had to work on myself a lot to just make peace with how he is when others are there. I say to myself that he will be OT, OS, he will have a meltdown and yes, it's THEIR fault, but I am going to be ok with it because I know him, I know how to calm him down and after a few days it will go back to be just the way *I* want it to be.
It doesn't I always manage.
You can always excuse yourself and take him for a feeding or a very long nappy change, just to have a few minutes that you can refocus yourself.
I also found it helpful not to be around so much. Of course I still needed to be around but when they went with DH for a walk I didn't join because I knew I will just get upset and I got some Y time for myself. If I didn't see how they stimulated him it was easier for me when they came back, because I rested and because I didn't know how bad it was :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: mimi80 on November 14, 2012, 23:36:43 pm
Hi! I'm a long-time follower, first-time poster. Thanks to a dear friend who introduced me to this forum, DS has been on an EASY routine since he was 3 weeks old! DS is 8.5 months old and touchy. From about 3 months to 8 months, he was STTN with a very consistent EASY routine during the day. As soon as we hit the 8 month mark, his sleep went completely wonky. I'm not sure if I should credit this change to the "8 month sleep regression" I've read about, or the fact that my father-in-law came to stay with us for a bit (he lives in Vietnam) and created a major change in his routine. I'm absolutely attributing developmental leaps, teething, and SA. In order to help deal with this, DH and I decided to allow DS to sleep with us, as a temporary fix to the problem. It also ensured that everyone got some sleep! It's been 2 weeks, and this has to stop. Neither one of us ever intended on letting DS sleep with us at night, but we were desperate. He always starts off in his crib, and then when he wakes up crying for no apparent reason, we bring him into the bed with us.  :-\

So I guess I have 2 issues here: breaking the habit of co-sleeping, and getting DS back on track. Here's an example of his current EASY routine:

A time of 3 hours
Two naps of 1.5 hours
Total daytime sleep: 3 hours
Total nighttime sleep: 9 hours

5am bottle/then back to sleep
8am wake up
9am bottle
11am nap
12:30 wake up
1pm bottle
2:30 solids
3:30 nap
5:00 wake up/bottle
7:30 solids
9:30 bath
9:45 bedtime bottle

I'm aware that this is a very late bedtime. DH and I struggle with this. DH feels that if DS went to bed at 7pm, he would hardly ever see him. We want to do what is best for him, just not sure if an earlier bedtime is the only thing he needs. I'm worried that he's not getting enough sleep at night. He used to sleep 10-11 hours straight until he turned 8 months. What gives?

Thank you so much, in advance. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on November 15, 2012, 08:41:38 am
Hello, mimi. Could you please copy and paste your post to a new topic on the EASY board so we can help you with your routine?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tori1083 on January 06, 2013, 06:28:55 am
I need support.  We are NOT SLEEPING  :-[ Our baby often has difficult going to bed at night and wake very often- at the end of several sleep cycles per night.

The terminology and what it entails to parent a "touchy" baby is completely new to me.  All I know is this: At 6 months old, my 2nd child still MUST be swaddled with her arms in and have white noise BLARING to sleep (when she actually does sleep). Even though we have been trying since she was born to establish some kind of schedule (even an approximation would have been nice), we have failed utterly.  She is completely different from my first, who, without our knowledge of BW, easily fell into a routine/schedule.  Our first was predictable and "angel" -like and we followed an EASY routine from the very beginning.  She was and still is a terrific and predictable sleeper.  With our second daughter, much of the time, I have no idea how what she needs or wants. 

For the past 11 days, we have been working diligently to begin a BW schedule/routine for our 6 month old.  I am trying to follow Tracy's prescription for beginning with an older baby to the Tee.  I feel like we have a really good understanding of shh/pat and pu/pd, a calming before-bed routine, and we are working hard to establish a bedtime and two long naps during the day (at the same times each day).  Naps were ok yesterday, 1.5 hrs, 1 hr, then catnap from 6:45-7:30 (it was dark and we were in the car) (we usually get closer to 1.5-2hr naps, they were slightly short that day).  She ate at 7:40 and 9pm and then never went to sleep until after 1am.  We were sort of losing our minds by that point, getting up and walking to the other side of the house every 20 minutes, so we broke down and put her in bed with us-- because, our sleep deprived minds were thinking that if she is going to be up every 30 minutes (at least), then at least it would be easier to deal with her.  Even after putting her in in bed with us, she still had great difficulty settling down.  We gave her tylenol, wondering if it is teeth, and after 20 min, she fell asleep.  She still woke 2 more times in the night and needed settling.

I totally see that putting her in bed with us may not be a great answer, but we were so tired after many nights in a row of being up and awake so much.  Also, I just have this feeling something isn't right because I don't understand how a baby could 1) be awake that much, and 2) constantly wake up out of a sleep.  She has a history of reflux and I have taken her to a specialist and a chiro (twice).  I am having a really hard time figuring out what is going on: Like, is it reflux, upset tummy, teeth, or just wanting to be held.  Are touchy babies just like this? I honestly don't know.

Today- naps were great: two at almost 2 hrs each (no catnap).  But, it has taken me over 3 hrs to get her settled.  I have fed her twice and given her gripe water (not sure if it will work or not) in that time.  Her final position (after trying both sides and tummy) is on her back after I just patted and rubbed her tummy to sleep.  I fully expect her to wake up in a short time from now- likely at the end of a 30-45 min sleep cycle.

We have another chiropracter apt. and well-check visit this coming week and I will ask questions.  However, as before, I am not very hopeful that our doctors will have answers or good suggestions for us.


Also, I consume a moderate amt of soy (I am a vegetarian)- so I wonder if that is having any effect.  I have already done a dairy elimination (for 2+ weeks) and that has not helped.  She doesn't seem like she is having tummy pain - but we are just guessing at this point.  And, I do often drink a cup of 1/2 caff coffee in the evening (b/c of not sleeping and keeping up with two kids all day).  I haven't noticed a direct correlation to any issues (and she naps fine after I consume it in the morning), but I wonder if that is a problem at night for her?

I feel sad that I do not know my baby better than this.  I feel like, if we could only figure out the problem, we could take steps to fix it.

Then again, my husband keeps asking- maybe its nothing and she has just been overly-coddled and needs to cry?  I don't want to go there, b/c she doesn't really settle herself and would just end up screaming in hysterics.  Plus, I wouldn't want to leave her alone until I am 100% sure she is not in any pain.


I would appreciate ANYTHING from this community of very knowledgeable and support individuals.  Is this on-par for 'touchy' babies?  Have you been through something similiar (constant night waking)?  What have you done?  Are they harder to get into a routine?  Have you ever put them in bed with you out of sheer desperation?  Have you ever let them cry and for how long? 

Feel free to private message me if you can offer any support, commiseration, suggestions, etc.

Any thoughts?
Thanks again!!!
-Tori
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: brownc623 on January 06, 2013, 18:33:48 pm
(((hugs)) Raising a refluxer is hard work. I know just what you mean when you said:
Quote (selected)
I feel sad that I do not know my baby better than this.  I feel like, if we could only figure out the problem, we could take steps to fix it.
I could've written that very sentence myself a month ago. I too have a touchy refluxer. I don't know if all refluxers are touchy, or if maybe we've just discovered that they were refluxers because they're touchy?

Good thinking with the elimination diets. I tried that with my LO, and found that it wasn't what I was eating that was disturbing him. It felt like a whole lot of work to determine that, but once it was over it was a relief and its nice to know that I'm not the cause of my DS's discomfort. I encourage you to continue to look for any possible reactions, even if you find nothing it will be a weight off your mind to know that its not your diet.

Other than Chiro and elim diets have you looked into medication for your LO? Medication made a world of difference for us, our LO would cry every night for 5 or 6 hours.. we were misdiagnosed colic, but I pushed the issue and w/in 2 wks of starting prilosec we had a totally different baby. He's so much happier.

Another thing to try if you haven't already is a cot wedge. They're usually 10-20 US dollars and if its reflux that's waking your LO that may make an immediate difference.

Quote (selected)
We were sort of losing our minds by that point, getting up and walking to the other side of the house every 20 minutes, so we broke down and put her in bed with us-- because, our sleep deprived minds were thinking that if she is going to be up every 30 minutes (at least), then at least it would be easier to deal with her.  Even after putting her in in bed with us, she still had great difficulty settling down.  We gave her tylenol, wondering if it is teeth, and after 20 min, she fell asleep.  She still woke 2 more times in the night and needed settling.

I hear you sister. We co-slept with DS many times on bad nights. Its so hard to manage at 1am when they're crying and you don't know why. Every question runs through your head... is he hungry? Am I going to make him reflux more if I feed him and he's not hungry? Is he teething? Should I give him Tylenol or am I just medicating a baby that's just hungry? Tylenol will soothe reflux pain, though its not something you would want to give routinely, so it could've been teeth, or reflux, its hard to say.

Quote (selected)
she doesn't really settle herself and would just end up screaming in hysterics
Now that you've been following the BW schedule for 11 days is your LO an independent sleeper? What is your naptime routine? Evening routine? Can you post your EASY?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tori1083 on January 06, 2013, 23:32:20 pm
Brownc623- Thank you so much for responding. I am happy to hear that your son is getting better rest.

Other than Chiro and elim diets have you looked into medication for your LO? Medication made a world of difference for us, our LO would cry every night for 5 or 6 hours.. we were misdiagnosed colic, but I pushed the issue and w/in 2 wks of starting prilosec we had a totally different baby. He's so much happier.

Another thing to try if you haven't already is a cot wedge. They're usually 10-20 US dollars and if its reflux that's waking your LO that may make an immediate difference.

Regarding these things: We tried medicine (Prilosec) when she was about 7-12 weeks.  It helped only a little and the specialist we went to recommended we discontinue since it wasn't helping enough to justify its use.  Rather than medicine, we have used other environmental supports to help her, plus I think she has matured out of most of it.  She does not have noticeable issues with it now. She spits up on average 1 time per day (she use to vomit large amounts and spit up constantly).  We do, however, have her crib at about an 8 inch incline and she often sleeps on her side wedged between two huge blanket rolls (they do not sell those wedges in the USA anymore). 

She also HAS to have her arms restrained (I have sewn up the arm holes of a sleep sack) but can poke a fist up to her face, which she seems to like.  Very loud white noise is also an absolute must.  She used to use a paci to calm and go to sleep, but we would have to put it back into her mouth up to 5 times per night when it fell out.  This signaled, to me, prop dependence and we took it away when we started with BW techniques (shh/pat and pu/pd).

Now, she still wakes up regularly throughout the night, but instead of getting a paci, we shh/pat her or pu/pd.  So, it still seems like she is prop dependent.

But, I also wonder if she is sleep deprived.

Her naps tend toward good 1.5-2 hours (we try to keep it at just 2 per day).  But, she falls asleep late and wakes through the night.

We have a short before-sleep ritual: turn white noise on, put into sleep sack (arms in), rock her while singing a short song.  It seems adequate and she often goes down easily for naps.  Naps are actually pretty good.  She sometimes wakes up after 1.25hours and usually goes back to sleep with a short session of shh/pat.

So, here are my questions, is it: Reflux or tummy, prop (us) dependence, or overtired?  It seems like each of these would have different approaches.

Here is how our day usually looks:
E 7am
A 7:30- 10ish (inc. 1 tbsp veggie)
S 10-12pm

E 12pm
A 12:30-3pm (1 tbsp veggie)
S 3pm-5pm

E 5pm
A
E 7pm
A
E 9pm
S 9:30pm (try to get her to sleep, sometimes she does, sometimes not it takes a few hours of pu/pd and/or shh/pat)

Then, often wakes at 11, 1, 3, 5 ( or sometimes more).  Her middle of the night wakings are often one quick pu/pd and then hand on her back for a few minutes- easy!  Getting her down is often the hardest- it either takes a long time or she is awake, asleep, awake, asleep, etc.  She often will wake at the end of a 30,45,60min cycle.  Rarely, she resettles herself.  Often, she mantra cries and then it escalates to full on crying.

But, why the waking?

Thank you so much for your time (and anyone else who has any ideas, advice, or encouragement)!




Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: brownc623 on January 07, 2013, 00:53:22 am
Quote (selected)
Getting her down is often the hardest- it either takes a long time or she is awake, asleep, awake, asleep, etc.

It sounds like she may be overtired. Right now you have her on a 14.5 hour day and also she has 4 hours of A time just before bed. Most babies do best on a 12-13 hour day with a bedtime between 7 and 8pm. Being overtired will make her wake up in the early part of the night. Is there a specific reason that she stays up till 9:30?

The later night wakings *could* be hunger? Refluxers tend to have a greater dependence on night feeds. Here's a FAQ on if/when to stop night feedings: When can I stop feeding at night?

If the later wakings aren't hunger, here's a FAQ to help troubleshoot: 10 reasons (other than hunger) a baby can wake at night

My suggestion would be to pull in BT to 8:00pm, consider adding a dreamfeed at 10 or 11pm. (Since she's a refluxer you might consider thickening it with oatmeal if you're giving it to her in a bottle or giving her oatmeal before her BT feeding. It does have to be oatmeal though, rice cereal won't thicken breastmilk as the amylase in the milk will break down the carbohydrates in the rice) how a simple thickener has improved LO's silent reflux by 80%

If that cuts out her early night wakings and she wakes later in the night (like maybe that 3am wake up) I might try feeding her. If she takes a full feed and stays asleep the rest of the night then you know she was hungry. If not, and if the wake ups are at exactly the same time each night then the wakeups may be habitual How to address habitual wakings (w2s and other methods)

Keep in touch!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tori1083 on January 07, 2013, 05:41:27 am
Hello, Brownc623- thank you again for your thoughtful response.

It sounds like she may be overtired. Right now you have her on a 14.5 hour day and also she has 4 hours of A time just before bed. Most babies do best on a 12-13 hour day with a bedtime between 7 and 8pm. Being overtired will make her wake up in the early part of the night. Is there a specific reason that she stays up till 9:30?

She had a hard time settling tonight as well (woke for an hour about an hour after going to sleep).  I think you are right- overtired.  I think we are basically where we are with the late bedtime b/c of accidental parenting- foolishly looking at her cues for needing sleep (has not seemed tired at night) and also thinking that the later we keep her up, the better she will sleep (unbelieveably, she used to stay up until 10-11pm or later).  I actually feel quite dumb- especially since this is my 2nd (my first slept 12 hours at night starting at 3-4 months).  When we began the BW strategies 11 days ago, we tried the 7pm-7am bedtime/wake up for several days.  However, she had great difficulty getting to sleep after the 7pm feeding.  She often wouldn't settle until after 10pm, so, we thought we would go back to a later time and try to help her get the hang of that time first before gradually moving to an earlier time.

Do you think we should go ahead and start with an earlier time?  Should we do it gradually or go straight for 8pm?  What if she is not showing signs of being tired?  If we move to an earlier bedtime, how long might we expect for her to have difficulty going to sleep and staying asleep early on?

My suggestion would be to pull in BT to 8:00pm, consider adding a dreamfeed at 10 or 11pm. (Since she's a refluxer you might consider thickening it with oatmeal if you're giving it to her in a bottle or giving her oatmeal before her BT feeding. It does have to be oatmeal though, rice cereal won't thicken breastmilk as the amylase in the milk will break down the carbohydrates in the rice) how a simple thickener has improved LO's silent reflux by 80%

I forgot to mention, that since starting BW, I have done a dreamfeed every night.  Often, I do it when she wakes around 11 or 11:30.  Rarely, she has been asleep and it still works out well.

Drs. had recommended rice in bottle of breastmilk before bed.  We will try giving her a small meal of oatmeal before her last feeding or in a bottle.  Wow! Thank you for telling me to try oatmeal.

If that cuts out her early night wakings and she wakes later in the night (like maybe that 3am wake up) I might try feeding her. If she takes a full feed and stays asleep the rest of the night then you know she was hungry. If not, and if the wake ups are at exactly the same time each night then the wakeups may be habitual How to address habitual wakings (w2s and other methods)

She is usually very easy to settle at the 3am wake up (often takes just one pu/pd or some shh/patting- 5 minutes to get her back to sleep).  Would she be more difficult to settle if it were hunger?  I just don't want to start dependence on an additional night feeding if it is not necessary.  She is a very healthy weight with lots of extra chub :)

Thank you so so much!!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: brownc623 on January 07, 2013, 06:54:57 am
Quote (selected)
foolishly looking at her cues for needing sleep (has not seemed tired at night) and also thinking that the later we keep her up, the better she will sleep
Not foolish at all. Truly you would think that parenting would be more intuitive iykwim! I was putting my LO down after 1 hour of A till almost 4 months old thinking he was tired. Thank God I found this forum and the books to help me realize that I was misinterpreting my LO's signals. Sometimes these lil guys are just more difficult to interpret than you would expect. I think Tracy had it right looking at it from the baby's perspective, they're a little person with their own mind, but sometimes they're not the best communicators!

Do you by chance have her EASY recorded from when you were trying the 7 to 7 routine?

Quote (selected)
Should we do it gradually or go straight for 8pm?
Its really your call, whatever you think would work best for your LO. Since it sounds like nights are already difficult you might try it immediately and see how it goes. If you're looking for a gentler approach I would look carefully for her tired signals starting at about 7:30ish until 9:15. IF you notice two or more tired signals within a half hour I'd try to get her down then. Tracy's books indicate that you should get them down to bed before the third yawn. Otherwise if she's acclimated to the 9:30 BT I would try for 9:15, wait for 3 days at 9:15 then move it back again 15 min. Review S.L.O.W. and watch her to see how she's reacting, but take it with a grain of salt since it takes time for their bodies to acclimate to a new schedule. Once you've arrived at an ideal EASY it will be anywhere from 3 to 14 days to see her go down without a fuss. Even though you're questioning yourself you should definitely trust your instincts, no one knows your LO better than you do. It WILL happen! With my DS I thought for sure I'd never truly be able to lay him down and walk out of the room, but I did and you will too.

Quote (selected)
She is usually very easy to settle at the 3am wake up (often takes just one pu/pd or some shh/patting- 5 minutes to get her back to sleep).  Would she be more difficult to settle if it were hunger?
Yes, I think you're right; it would probably be more difficult since your LO is touchy. Don't introduce the feed unless necessary. Just keep the idea on the back burner once the early NW are gone if the later NW become more difficult.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tori1083 on January 07, 2013, 17:14:23 pm
Do you by chance have her EASY recorded from when you were trying the 7 to 7 routine?

Hi- Yes, I  have my schedule when we were trying to follow a closer 7-7 schedule.  Here were 3 days in a row (the naps have improved greatly since these few days, they are easily 1.5 hours now on average, likely because awake time was too short- we have fixed the daytime now).:

Sunday:
E: 7, woken to eat
A: 7:30-8:30, 8:30 solids (sweet potato- 1/3 tbsp)
S: 9:10-11:05 nap (9:15-9:30 shh/pat and pu/pd)

E: 11:05
A: 11:30-1:30
S: 1:30-2:25 (tried and failed to resettle) gotten out of bed at 2:50

E: 3
A: 3:30-5
S: 5-5:45 catnap

A: 5:45-7:25
E: 7:25
S: 7:55 - Bedtime

E: 11pm (she woke up to eat, we usually dreamfeed around this time)
S: 11:30-2:30
2:30am pu/pd once, took 15 min to fall asleep
3:30am pu/pd once, took 15 min to fall asleep
6am- could not resettle, tried for 30 min. then gotten up to eat


Monday
E: 6:45am
A: 7:15-8:15, 8:15 (1/3 tbsp sweet potato)
S: 8:40- 10:30 nap

E: 10:30 (woke up on own)
A: 10:30-12,  12pm (1/3 tbsp sweet potato)
A: 12:30-1 (bath)
E: 1 (breastmilk snack), awake
S: 1:25-2:25 (could not get to resettle)

E: 3pm
A: 3:30- 5
S: 5-6pm (catnap)

E: 6pm
A: 6:40-7:30
E: 7:30
S: 7:45 BEDTIME

8:30-11:20pm: Awake, could not resettle, fed 4oz breast milk at 10pm.  Given Tylenol for suspected teeth pain at 11
11:20: fell asleep (pain relief?)
4am: awake, 2 pu/pd (15 min total)
6am: awake, could not be resettled
7am: fed

Tuesday 1/1/2013
E: 7am
A: 7:20-8:00, 8:00 (1/3 tbsp sweet potato)
S: 9:00-11 (fussed at 10:20, back to sleep after shh/pat)

E: 11am
A: 11:30-1:30, 1:30 (1tbsp sw potato)
E: 2:15 (2 oz breastmilk)
S: 2:30pm- 4pm (couldnt resettle)

E:4:20
A:4:40-6
E: 6(other side)
E: 7:30
S: 8 (needs shh/pat and soothing to fall asleep)-- never really sleeps, fusses on an off until 10pm, at which pt we try a dose of tylenol (teeth??)

E: 10pm - tried to feed, not very hungry at all.  Ate maybe an ounce? 
10-11 still awake
S: 11-1:30
1:30-2 awake, needs help to resettle
3:30-4 awake, help to resettle
5:30-6 awake, help to resettle
E: 7:30 (we woke her up)

GOOD NEWS!
Last night, she was asleep at 9:30 and then needed help to resettle from 10:20-11:10.  I did a dream feed at 12:30am (I wanted to make sure she was fully asleep b/c I think she sleep easier afterward if she can just remain asleep).  After that, she slept peacefully until 5:15 (needed shh/pat and 2 pu/pd- 20 min total), fell asleep, fussed a  little at 6ish but went to sleep on her own and then we woke her up at 7am.  This was a good night!! She effectively slept from 11:10-5:15 and only needed our help one time.  PROGRESS!

We will try feeding her at 8:30 or 9:45 tonight (unless we see tired cues before that) and try to get her to sleep by 9:00 or 9:15.

I feel like we may be making progress and I think you were right about overtired.

Thank you so much again for your feedback and suggestions!!!! 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: brownc623 on January 07, 2013, 17:32:23 pm
Quote (selected)
Last night, she was asleep at 9:30 and then needed help to resettle from 10:20-11:10.  I did a dream feed at 12:30am (I wanted to make sure she was fully asleep b/c I think she sleep easier afterward if she can just remain asleep).  After that, she slept peacefully until 5:15 (needed shh/pat and 2 pu/pd- 20 min total), fell asleep, fussed a  little at 6ish but went to sleep on her own and then we woke her up at 7am.  This was a good night!! She effectively slept from 11:10-5:15 and only needed our help one time.  PROGRESS!

Awesome!! So glad to hear, especially that she self settled at 6. I think you're definitely on the right track.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tori1083 on January 08, 2013, 16:03:02 pm
Very rough night last night.
It seems like anytime we have a "good" night, it never happens two nights in a row. 

After having, what I would consider, ' A perfect day', she was up SO much throughout the night.  I thought having good naps, a good daytime schedule, and getting to bed a touch earlier would help her have a good overnight.

Note, that she slept pretty well the previous night (up for 50 min between 10-11pm, up briefly at 5:15, then resettle herself at 6am), woken up at 7 to eat and begin day.

This was her day yesterday:
E 7am
A
S 10-11:40am

E: 12
A
S 3:15-5:10

E: 5:15
A
E: 7:15
A
E 8:40
S 9:10pm

E 11pm (She woke up and I fed her b/c I would have done the dream feed soon anyway)

Then, overnight, she was up at 12am, 1am, 2am, 3am, and 5am.  She would take about 20 minutes to settle and then sleep about 30 minutes before waking up very upset.  I fed her at 5am b/c I thought she would have to be hungry at that point and thought it would increase our chances of a few hours of sleep.  She ate about 1/2 a normal feeding and then did sleep until 7:30am- when she woke up screaming.

It's so hard- this constant waking without understanding why.  My husband handles most of the 1am-5am wakings b/c I don't want to agitate her further with the smell of breast milk.  He works and is very patient, but he is so ready to just let her cry herself back to sleep and learn to cry and deal with the night on her own.  I am really conflicted about this.  I keep telling him that it will get better, but I don't know if it will.  ????

So frustrated.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: brownc623 on January 08, 2013, 17:39:16 pm
Hard nights really stink. Its so easy to let them shake you. Remember that its always darkest before the dawn.

Changing habits takes time, and you will have to make changes in steps. It will take more time—usually each step takes three days—and require a fair amount of patience on your part to “fade out” these night wakings. You have to be consistent, though. If you give up too soon, or if you are inconsistent, trying one strategy one day and another the next, you’ll end up encouraging the very behaviour you’re trying to change.

Remember, she's still overtired. She still had a 14 hour day with 4 hours of A just before BT. Once you've gotten to where BT is back to a more age appropriate A time you will start to see results. Depending on your LO maybe immediately, but you will certainly see an improvement within a couple weeks.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on January 09, 2013, 10:15:03 am
Please continue to support Tori with routine issues here: Sleeps so little, up so much at night. Starting with 6mo after Reflux and AP
This support thread is for specific questions and advice about touchy babies.
:)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tinushy on January 29, 2013, 09:16:14 am
Hi,
I have a 10 week old daughter who is a textbook baby but VERY touchy when it comes down to sleeping.
We have no problems during the night - she sometimes gets up at 3AM to feed (after a 23:30 dreamfeed) sometimes she'll sleep till 6:00.
When I put her down for a nap she screams. I try to notice her cues (yawns etc) but if I happen to miss the yawning part  we go straight to uncontrolled crying.
I tried winddown - it worked for ONE day and then she refused to do that also! When I try to sit down with her in her room (dark) she wriggles and cries. I just end up holding her till she falls asleep which is something I really don't want to do.
I tried swaddling, shushing all of which worked one time and then I can't make it work again.
Any ideas?
Thanks!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on January 29, 2013, 09:44:32 am
I found that I had to stick to things for a while before they started working. Like with the swaddle and white noise which both were life savors for us, took a while before he got used to them.
WD has never worked for us either and was always very short. I still did some things so he learns it sleepy times, but never had the long WD other babies are doing.

It could be that there is a tweaking that needs to be done with her A. Perhaps she is OT or UT and that's why she is hard to settle for naps. If you think it's that, a routine issue, then you can start a thread on one of the relevant boards :).
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on January 30, 2013, 02:26:32 am
Hugs. I agree with this
I found that I had to stick to things for a while before they started working. Like with the swaddle and white noise which both were life savors for us, took a while before he got used to them.
WD has never worked for us either and was always very short. I still did some things so he learns it sleepy times, but never had the long WD other babies are doing.
For Z I would take him for a walk around the house or garden rather than sitting in the dark, that just made him angry ;) the walk was a nice WD and he would get drowsy as I did it. Then into room, twinkle twinkle and into bed with ssh/pat etc x
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: tinushy on January 30, 2013, 05:48:49 am
Yeah, sitting in the dark makes my LO very angry - like I said it worked for a day - and I put her in her crib when she was awake and she fell asleep on her own - I was over the moon. But then the next day she screamed when I tried to sit down with her and that's how it's been ever since. So - it's kind of difficult to stick to something that only makes her more agitated when the whole point is to wind down. What exactly is white noise? Do you mean like turn on a vaccume cleaner or something?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on January 30, 2013, 07:01:36 am
You can get tracks that play wave noises or hairdryer noises etc. I downloaded a free one onto my iPod and so it plays continuously rather than the short periods of time you would be able to do the vacuum cleaner for. Just search for free white noise track or similar :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: candersen on April 15, 2013, 23:08:28 pm
Hoping to find some support here for a touchy 4 mo old that was self settling on 3hr easy. Now A time has increased (watching her signs) to about an hour 30mins then start wind down...she starts screaming at the wind down point. At bedtime wind down is exactly the same and past two nights no trouble, but she has been awake for 2.5 hours prior as naps in the afternoon are a struggle as of late.

Have tried shorter wind down, longer wind down....as soon as we swaddle all hell breaks loose for 25 mins of screaming. Shh pat wont calm her and pupd frustrates her more.

my little girl is in tears every time for a nap. Please help!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on April 16, 2013, 07:51:04 am
I think you have a thread going about your routine, right?

I found that I needed to give DS more time to get used to things when he was so young and touchy. The swaddle took time for him to get used to, same was with pat/shh. I do think that PU/PD this early on is a no go for touchy babies.
And for us the no WD is what worked best. Whenever I tried WD, even just 5min of it, he wouldn't have it.

Hang in there, the touchiness does get better when they get older and ST as well. Even with non touchy babies it's so difficult to ST at 4m.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: candersen on April 16, 2013, 08:51:56 am
Yeh I have a thread on routine but I just wanted advice from some mums of touchy ones. She screams as if I'm murdering her and I am finding it so hard because I give her so much love and I am putting in SO much effort for her, when she gets in a state like that nothing calms her.

Imogen has loved the swaddle from day 1, its not that it's the wind down I think. Today somewhat better with  no WD in dark room just carrying round the house for 20 mins then put down. What I don't understand was she used to love WD, when I DIDNT do it she got upset, and now the other way around? 2nd nap she self settled for and 3rd but can't get past 40 mins on the 3rd nap. I will post on the easy board for that one though.

As I said, looking  mainly for support here, to know it will get better and we will  be able to leave the house one day without her cracking it. I feel as if there is something WRONG with her, like shes not normal or has some behaviour issue. Please tell me I am over reacting here.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on April 16, 2013, 09:13:22 am
Hugs Z was soooo touchy, and he is a sensitive toddler, but the touchiness does ease. I found 6 months was the age where shh/pat, teaching sleep and getting naps and nights a bit better kind of just started to work.

We had screaming at anyone random looking at Z funny let alone touching him. Going out was terrible. I used to feel I had the paci stuffed in his mouth so much because it hour it he was a mess. So I get it. But, she is normal. I learnt to just say 'Zac is sensitive and touchy to new things and lots of people.' When they went to get into his face.

Find 1 thing she likes. Z liked the swing at the park. We went every day. It gave him and me joy. I would buy a coffee for me. If you can find something it will help you both.

Honestly....Re sleep i wonder if you need to ditch the swaddle :-\
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: candersen on April 16, 2013, 09:42:17 am
Hey, re the swaddle, tried weaning with one arm out so she can suck her thumb (mum took paci off her at 12 weeks when she had her for 2 days and I am not keen to re introduce as she kept waking when it fell out) but she can't settle that way, she can't settle anyway at the moment. At first she would go down happy and either whinge for a bit or talk herself to sleep. I feel as though the crying will be damaging to her because I just can not calm her it's like she sees red and just screams herself to sleep even in my arms :( at first I thought cot phobia but I don't know. There was so much crying in the beginning with shh pat and pupd taking 40 mins. Then she went great, and now bad again.

This evening she was so OT from being awake since 4.30 (3rd nap only 40 mins past 3 days) that by 6.40 she fell asleep on the bottle, this happend the night before too cos I can't get her to nap, she's dropped her CN and shes paying for it! 

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on April 16, 2013, 11:43:00 am
(((Hugs))), sweetie, touchies can be a huge challenge.
Like Sara, I also learnt, and I am still doing it, to tell people that he needs time to open up so not to hover over him and let him decide the pace.
I also don't think there is something wrong with. The combination of the early months, sleep issues and being a touchy is a lot for her to deal with.
Do you think she might have Reflux?

It WILL get better. It WILL.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on April 16, 2013, 12:20:35 pm
And just wanted to mention as well that PU/PD is only for babies older than 4m and Tracey meant it to be a last resort. I personally found that PU/PD at such young age with a touchy was pure hell. If you can avoid it I would recommend that and like Sara said before at around 5-6m ST becomes easier and pat/shh worked really well for us. Still took time to work, but it did.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: candersen on April 16, 2013, 22:55:38 pm
Yeh I understand about pupd being a last resort but as I said shh pat doesnt calm her once she goes past the "switch" as we call it. We have considered reflux as sometimes she just won't eat, and screams and putting her in the position to feed annoys her. Several practitioners have told us it's not though and I am not keen on medicating unless we were 100% sure. I think that is when I am trying to feed her when shes not hungry (she knows what she wants - think there is a bit of spirited in there too!!) as other times she is fine - if fed 3.5 hourly for example, she just eats no worries, but feed her before and she gets quite annoyed. Can lay on back no problem, spits up but it doesn't bother her. Has wind issues, sometimes shes hungry but can't eat cos she is full of air and by the time she gets a big burp out shes not interested at all. Think solids will be hard with her.

I think I am finding it so hard because I had a home water pain free hypno birth and was under the impression that all hypnobirth babies are calm and settled. My baby could not be further from that, I think I feel like I have done something to make her this way :(
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on April 17, 2013, 17:34:32 pm
No, sweetie, you haven't made her the way she is, this is who she is, her temperament and character.
(((Hugs))), it's a rough patch in the beginning with a touchy, but it will get better.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: candersen on April 24, 2013, 08:37:40 am
I sure hope so cos this is wearing me down so much routine completely lost wont settle at all going to bed at 6 because exhausted. Shh pat no luck pupd frustrates her just not getting anywhere and she was going beautifully. I basically have not left house with her for five weeks and have dedicated so much time to helping her. :(
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on April 24, 2013, 21:08:25 pm
Oh hun. Please take her out if only for a walk or you will both go stir crazy! If sleep is bad anyway then what is the worst that could happen?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Scottishmummy on May 20, 2013, 20:52:59 pm
Is this thread still active?  I thought DS was either spirited or touchy due to his short window for sleep before crying for ages & taking sooooo long to settle.  As he gets slightly older & more of his personality emerges I'm pretty sure he's touchy (makes sense I was a very over sensitive child myself)

We're working on our EASY (posted already on main board) & trying to get A time short enough- his cues are hard to read but I'm slowly getting there- or more are emerging as he can do more- he can now intentionally suck his own fist & I'm starting to think that's the cue for WD. I'm hoping when I get that right his EASY will fall into place a bit more .

What's getting me is how sensitive he is to new things & how restrictive it feels.  I worry every time I go to meet family or friends & hope that he'll be asleep, walks have to be short & all the baby activities & groups I'd hoped we might do are on back burner.  He is so easily OS that he can seem OK but then screams & screams for hours after.  I took him into our garden for 10mins it took him 2 hours to recover (although I probably also overran his A time)

How can I increase his tolerance of activities out the house? At the moment I feel really restricted while my friends with babies seem to be able to do so much more. It gets me down sometimes that I avoid even going into the garden with him for fear of upsetting his balance.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on May 21, 2013, 10:26:48 am
I found that as Alon got older and older the touchiness eased.
When going out to a busy place or meeting other people I made sure I am going out at his A time and am back at home for his nap (or in the car). This might be difficult to do now because he is so young and the A time is pretty short, but it won't be for long.
The baby carrier helped a lot! He was always calm in it and I knew that he will fall asleep in it when it's time to sleep. Do you use a baby carrier or a sling?
When I visited family or good friends I made sure before hand that there will be a dark place for him to nap and if they didn't have it then I just didn't go :P. I didn't use white noise then, only later, but I had a friend who carried the white noise machine with her wherever they went.
TBH, there is not much other than the above that you can do other than wait it out. He is still very young and you will find the balance between going out and socializing and what he needs.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: candersen on June 14, 2013, 20:19:55 pm
Only now at 5.5mo is my lo's tolorence for people and places improving, it gets easier with longer wake times. It's horribly restricting and I know exactly how you feel. Ride it out! Just this week am I able to feed mine out of a dark room, and she has started to smile at strangers! If I need to go out I use the awake time before the cn then cn out in pram.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ebmgothicgirlie on July 10, 2013, 19:39:08 pm
Hello there, second touchy baby just been born 5 weeks go  :-[ nightmare. The first was diagnosed with colic now this one is as nervous as hell.

Cannot even go out in the pram and she screams or if she is sleeping I GET THE FEAR she will wake and start crying. Carseat - the same, have to play white noise to get her in it. Arms and legs flailing ll the time. Like she needs to be carried constantly. Getting her to sleep is a nightmare.

EVERYTHING is a nightmare, nap pies, changing clothes EVERYTHING.

OH except the shower/bath - loves that. Then comes the towel part and we are back to nightmare again.

Always crying when waking, always crying really.

I just want to enjoy my baby :(
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on July 11, 2013, 07:43:58 am
Hugs, hon. Do you have a thread to help you with your routine? Touchies are hard but sometimes when their routine is better then things get a bit easier.
If she is crying all the time then maybe there is something else wrong? Like Reflux or another discomfort? Have you consulted you ped.?
What happens when you go out with her in the pram? I know that many touchies like the sling because they feel protected in there.
if she is sleeping I GET THE FEAR she will wake and start crying.
Sweetie, I can so remember this and I am going to be super gentle and ask if you think you might have PPD? I had it and I found the crying extremely hard. It was basically him and me crying all day long, mostly in the evenings :( Do you get a break sometimes?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on July 11, 2013, 19:58:42 pm
((((Hugs)))) do you have a wrap? I really recommend them. Baby can be ON you, but your hands are fee. You can pop the paci in and go for a walk and she will sleep I'm sure :) it's right where they feel safe and you an get out.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ebmgothicgirlie on July 12, 2013, 10:20:36 am
Thank you both, she refuses the pacifier 110% WILL NOT have it. Gags, gets angry, screams. We have bought 5 different types. I have just ordered some latex to try though as we have only tried silicone.

Yesterday I decided to try a bit of studying with her. I shush patted on my shoulder until she was calm, almost asleep then I layed her down and shh patted on the side whilst she lays on our bed (impossible to lay her on her side in our moses basket, ropes hanging from the ceiling and a slightly dipped weaved mattress, I just cannot get into it) So I then shh pat her for around 20 mins ... watching her progress in that 20 minutes seeing her almost wake herself up max 3 times so when she gets too upset I take her back up and shh pat her my shoulder again. It happened 3 times then she was dead asleep after around 20 minutes from starting this.

The first time I did this at the 20 minute mark when she was really asleep, I moved her to the moses basket. Watched her and lo and behold, 21 minutes later she kicked jolted and woke up very very upset (she had only slept in 20/30 min naps all day ... was clearly knackered) So I picked her up and tried to shh pat on the sholder again but she wasn't having it. So yet again we had a very upset, overtired, shattered little girl.

I took her up for a bit seeing as it had taken a while to calm her down before that 20 mins of shh pat on the bed so we were into the next feed and she was awake very unhappy again.

The after around 30 mins I could see my chance to swaddle again and go through this process again (putting to sleep) trying to study what she does, what cycle she wakes at, if I can help to WTS, if she is repeatedly waking at the 20 min mark should I WTS at 15 mins?

10.30pm
I tried this. We did the same procedure, luckily, I feel she is getting better at Shhh pat if she is not too wound up. My only concern is they way I do it is shh pat on the shoulder until she is relax and eyes closing THEN I lay her down and shhh pat for around 20 mins - waiting for the max 3jolts so I can then take her up again if they happen and shh pat again on the shoulder (hey it's working right now so hopefully this isn't frowned upon, she is not asleep but in REM light sleep, I have to get her used to what's happened and trust me)
This time there were no jolts whilst laying on the bed. I shhh patted for the 20 mins so I KNEW she was asleep. I actually left her there for 15 minutes because I thought THEN I know she is really asleep and I can catch the 20 min catnap maybe if she changes cycle with the move at 15 mins to the moses basket from the bed.
This time instead of a jolt and waking at 21 mins - there were just cute baby noises. She actually didn't wake until 1am which I am shocked at. Then woke at 3am then 6am. When she woke I would feed as I knew she was hungry. Only problem being she wasn't very good at being put back in the moses basket, little bugger loves the heat and contact once in bed with me and sleeps so well. If I put her back in the moses basket she wakes as it's not warm like the bed was. She always 'goes to bed' in her own bed though.

Basically last night the second time round with a WTS at 15 mins seemed to work (although I am not too optimistic as so many things we have tried and they have failed the next time we try them. I also got given some gripe water yesterday we started with.

Today is a weird one. She woke at 7am, and fed. Then she fell asleep on me (which is quite rare but she has started to do this more often, hey! she's falling asleep in REM I am happy with 'something') so managed to put her in the carseat as I had to do the nursery run with my 3 year old. First time she got upset so I took her out and shh patted her on my shoulder. After one minute I tried with the carseat again - everything was ok, she stayed in REM. We then got into the car, everyone had to be super quiet, hair dryer MP3 was on in the car to to help her stay asleep - and she did. Carseat out of the car to nursery, hair dryer MP3 on my phone next to her and she stayed in deep sleep. Took her back in the car and drove to the shops to buy dinner, went home, she was still in deep sleep.

Odd thing is ... today she has been been sleeping almost 98% of the time since 7am (it's now 12.15pm here in Norway) Sometimes deep, sometimes just relaxed. Shh pat has worked wonders today and she has been a really relaxed baby. Had a little Gripe Water again with a feed at 7am.

As for the mention PPD, I could have. Husband is pretty unhelpful right now. Is trying to finish building the shed in the garden, says IT NEEDS TO BE DONE, not getting I am am having a hard time juggly this touchy one and the 3 year old. If I ask for help he seems to act peed off or like I am being 'unfair. We have argued quite a bit. We have no time for ANYTHING. I think you're right though. I have a doctors appointment next week for my 6 week control. I shall talk to the doctor about it as my husband just shuts off and seems to feel he is the one getting the rough end of everything.

Will do good to just think now I should talk to the doctor and try not to argue with my husband. I can't get him to understand how I feel so I will talk to the doctor.

I am raising a glass of orange juice to the fact I have managed to dye my hair whilst she has slept a lot this morning. Think she has needed it from yesterday.

thank you so much for your replies again X
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on July 12, 2013, 11:00:12 am
WTG mommy! It sounds like you made a very good progress.
It does take a while to figure out how YOUR baby likes to fall asleep. I don't think that any baby fits the book exactly and we just need to adjust things to work for us. Remember that it takes a very long time to now the ins and outs of a person and you only know her for 5 weeks!
(((Hugs))), hun, I hope you can get some support from the Dr. and perhaps even find a way to talk to DH about how you feel.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: kreamtee on August 09, 2013, 22:38:26 pm
Hi all,

Sorry to cut in on all the conversations about sleep (much sympathy there!), but just wanted to introduce myself.

I am mummy to a lovely 11 month old touchy baby boy. Think we should have guessed he was going to be touchy by the reaction he had to having his face wiped when he was born - made the theatre staff laugh!

I think our little one spent his first 3 months in a state in which his startle reflex was permanently active! From that point on we had huge problems with him becoming overtired and overstimulated (I remember having to rock him to sleep in a Sainsbury's car park for 45 minutes making sure his head was covered (safely of course) as seeing anything at all seemed to be too stimulating for him when overtired) and many many hours of rocking him to sleep.

Thankfully now he naps beautifully (as long as we stick with his routine!) but have had some issues with night-time settling (which I have posted about elsewhere, and think is all to do with him now not needing as much daytime sleep (bizarre after all the problems we had with overtiredness).

There are a few questions I have for other mums (really it is just lovely to know that there are others who are also facing the challenges of raising a touchy baby):

1) My little one still does get quite upset in new situations/with new people/in overstimulating situations. As he is getting older, his cry has turned into more of a shout/meltdown, which I find really difficult to deal with, particularly as I sometimes can't predict which places he will/will not like, e.g. he loves a huge soft play place I have taken him to recently, particularly watching the other kids (and there is bags of room there). I wonder if it is the soft decor there (carpets etc.) that means it is less noisy than it would be which helps, as he cannot stand food shopping (tolerance = 3 minutes max in Morrison's!) and hated a cafeteria/soft play place I took him to last week at a children's farm place. I guess I wish sometimes I could take his "touchiness" away from him, so that he would enjoy life a little more (I know I shouldn't really wish that, and I do love him dearly)... I guess I do suffer from the "I must be a bad mother" syndrome and I struggle with the thought that am sure other mums must think so too! Does anyone have any helpful strategies for dealing with these thoughts/feelings?

2) I am due to go back to work in 3 weeks and have been doing some "settling in" sessions at the nursery, who don't like parents to stay at all for these. Needless to say he has pretty much cried his way through 5 sessions now (some babies only need 2, and our little one is due to have another 6), and not slept at all (!!!). Not quite sure what to do for the best, as I know I am already coming across as an overanxious mother, by trying to give the staff little tips about how to manage him best etc. Horrible to see him unhappy... I mean, I know that little ones can find nursery distressing initially and not just the touchy ones! I guess I am hoping that someone has some reassuring words about their touchy baby learning to love nursery!

3) I think some of our little one's frustration is because he is not mobile yet - he only rolled over at 10 months and now pulls to stand on me and walks with me (no balance!), but hates tummy time and therefore no crawling yet. Have been trying to "teach" him some of these skills, but it usually ends in tears! He easily gets frustrated/bored playing independently (until last week he could only really manage 2 minutes maximum on his own... however I realised that perhaps I was interfering a bit too much, and think he does do better on his own, if I don't jump at every fussy noise he makes)... If anyone has any wisdom to share here also I would be really grateful....

Anyway lovely to "meet" you all - great to have found this thread....   and many thanks for listening! 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on August 10, 2013, 20:34:48 pm
Hugs. My first was so touchy as a baby and it was so so hard. But, he is now amazing! They do outgrow the touchiness...a lot of it by 15 mths or so and the rest becomes manageable as you can explain to them, and help them through it.

Honestly...I didn't go out much to places that were loud, bustley and/or potentially claustrophobic. The park was our friend, he loved e swing,and playing inch the bark. So I would often pick take away coffee cup with a friend and head to the park. Typically outside is always our friend. If Z melted I removed us both from the place and calmed him. I also used a paci...a lot! He needed it.

I learnt to say 'he is a sensitive baby to noise and too many people, he is just feeling overwhelmed' I learnt to t throw him on the ground with other babies playing, and keep him on my lap till he choose to venture out. I ALWAYS had snacks once he could eat. Food is a good distraction!

Frustration is hard. Z had it a lot. Once he was walking who h he did young (crawled late for like 1 week then walked ::) ) he improved a lot.
Sorry, a bit of a rant.
I guess my main tip is get outside when you can, lt him touch the grass and dirt, play with pegs and push a ball around etc. he may surprise you and play well out. I was so surprised how much Z was NOT interested in toys but loved being out. Things like feeding ducks, sand, swings, sticks, leaves, YK? 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: kreamtee on August 10, 2013, 21:38:48 pm
Thanks so much for the reply...

Yes, our little one LOVES the outside too, and it really does have a calming effect. Even just this evening, my husband took him out in the backpack and he made his lovely happy noises and beamed from ear to ear as he was being put into the pack. He was then so happy when he got home, he played for a whole 20 minutes on his own!! : )

Have to say I haven't really given him a lot of play time in parks on the swings etc., so will try that a little more....(he was a bit apprehensive about swings last time I took him, but should give him another go, as they change so quickly!). During the recent summer days, he has really loved it when I have taken him to the park, sat with him on a picnic rug under the shade of a tree, and given him his lunch or dinner, but I could be a bit more inventive with our outdoor play activities : ).

Thanks again!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on August 11, 2013, 01:40:34 am
Try food in the swing ;) the beach is another good place, or reserves with rivers or streams.
My boys love the backpack too!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Sleepymama1 on October 11, 2013, 06:16:13 am
Is this forum still open?  I have a 5 week old touchy baby.  Sleeping (well, not sleeping) is my biggest concern right now.  I am unable to out her down for naps or overnight.  Sometimes overnight I can put her down next to me but she wakes within an hour.  I wear her on me for daytime naps.  I also have a 3 yr old and 7 yr old to take care of.  I have laid down to sleep since she was born and my neck and back are suffering.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on October 11, 2013, 07:23:29 am
Hugs sleepy mama! The early days can be hard :-*
For my touchy boy I found white noise (loud) and a dummy helped a lot. He wanted and needed to be on me too and so lots of rocking and cuddles were needed early on.

Does your baby have reflux? Colic? X
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: piinkdiiamond on October 15, 2013, 08:30:19 am
Hey needing some help with my touchy 13 week old fella. I cant get him to nap in his crib/cot longer than 30 mins (Although if he's in my arms we can manage 2-3 hours) Someone mentioned the possibility of overtired, he wakes at 7 & first nap is usually 8.30, but Monday we tried 8.20 & today tried at 8.05 & the same except today was 25mins & he woke happy rather than crying. He sleeps 11-12 hours at night and wakes only once. Iknow hes tired because 30mins after waking he gives of his sleepy cues, someone also mentioned he wasnt getting enough A time after short nap, so trying to keep him awake a bit longer today. He sometimes resettles if I persevere long enough but wakes again after 10 mins.  I feel like we're spending all of our  time together trying to sleep him. We have 5-6 catnaps a day. He has a dummy but this proves no problem at night, although last night I didnt let him have it, in the hope that it would help nap-time but he still never got past the 30min mark. What am I doing wrong?? Please help.
T.i.a
Lauren. x
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on October 16, 2013, 18:19:36 pm
Hugs! Touchies are tough aren't they! Between 3-6 mths short naps are so common too. I found with my first who had reflux as well that if I couldnt extend the naps I would work with them ;) this helped me a little till I could sleep train and w2s started to work.
http://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/4-month-old-schedule/

Does your LO have a paci? Have you got white noise and a dark room? Swaddle? These all helped my touchy boy ;)

Ut/OT is often inevitable with touchies and this age. I agree 30 mins is usually OT, but my LO did 30 mins all the time even if not OT, he just was a catnapper ::)

I found side sleeping and w2s helped - here's the w2s link also HTTJ as my LO was a crazy jolter!
How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: piinkdiiamond on October 19, 2013, 20:20:34 pm
Sorry just seen ur message, thanks for the reply.
Yes they are...although very rewarding when u get it right. Lol. When were u able to.sleep train? Ive tried but no luck as of yet. Im coming to terms now with just 30min naps just.trying to reduce them.from 6 -.4.

Yea he has a paci. We have.a ewan the sheep and he's only ever slept swaddled.

Did ur Lo grow out of catnapping?

How and.when did u.get him to side sleep?
Whats httj?
Thankyou xx
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: AReid on October 22, 2013, 21:37:13 pm
Hello!

I'm new! We used EASY with my first textbook child and it was, well, easy! I now have a 13 week old touchy daughter, and it's not so easy.  Even after implementing the steps, she still melts down EVERY time it's time to sleep.  She doesn't appear to have a window where I can put her down in her crib awake for her to fall asleep.  After the first yawn, I take her in, put her down and she's ok for about a minute, then she just starts screaming!!  She's down from 40 minutes to less than 10 before she calms and goes to sleep, but is there something I should be doing to stop the melt down? Also, once down, she only sleeps for about 30 minutes.  Any help would be greatly appreciated!!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on October 23, 2013, 06:24:18 am
Did ur Lo grow out of catnapping?

How and.when did u.get him to side sleep?
Whats httj?
Thankyou xx
Yup he stopped CN around 6 mths but I could help him through the sleep cycles using w2s and HTTJ between 4-6 mths How to address habitual wakings (w2s and other methods)

We used a positioner to help with side sleeping. My boys had reflux though so it helped a lot as they wouldn't settle  on their backs.

Hugs AReid! Touchy babies have a very small sleep window, and often are quite fussy with their WD. Can you post how your LO WD before a nap and at BT. What A times are you using? Are you  shh/patting to Sleep or holding or anything else ie using a paci?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: piinkdiiamond on October 23, 2013, 21:19:34 pm
Ill.try httj and.see. Thanks.for.helping.me.see, im not.doing anything wrong and.that.maybe.its.just.the way.he.naps....for now. Thankyou. Xx
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on October 23, 2013, 21:39:26 pm
Your not doing anything wrong at all love. All we can do is help them to sleep - we can't make them YK? I found if I kept the first A item age appropriate and worked on the first nap, then the days were a little more bearable YK. :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: piinkdiiamond on October 23, 2013, 21:48:22 pm
Yeah, he sometimes sleeps longer in my arms, so im going to try to.let him have first.nap in my arms, just hard when I have places to.be.lol. Thanks xx
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on October 23, 2013, 22:40:04 pm
What about trying to pd at the time w2s would be, so maybe 23 mins or so, then shh/gently move back to sleep in the cot ??? X
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: piinkdiiamond on October 24, 2013, 06:31:42 am
I'd never thought of that will defo try that. Thankyou. X
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on October 25, 2013, 07:18:55 am
:-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: wifetob on November 27, 2013, 18:46:28 pm
Hi all, I'm not sure if my dd (12 months) is spirited or touchy or both- where is the quiz? Cant seem to find it. Thanks.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on November 27, 2013, 21:18:15 pm
The quiz is in the book but the baby one is also on the EASY FAQs  page here The BW "Know Your Baby Quiz"
The toddler one for 12mo+ is on the Sleeping for Toddlers board here The BW "Know Your Toddler Quiz"
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: scruffymax on December 27, 2013, 09:27:36 am
Hi, I haven't had a chance to read back through the thread (will try later!) but I just wanted to check what others have found to be good WD for touchy babies.  I have a 7 week old touchy little man, and he goes from playing happily on the floor to all-out meltdown in about 3 seconds.  I seriously cannot calm him down other than putting him in the carrier - and I am happy to do this some of the time, but it's the middle of summer, 30+ degrees everyday and we both suffer from the extra heat.  I do get him to sleep in the bassinet but it is usually a matter of putting him down when he is already crying, leaving him a few minutes and sometimes he will put himself to sleep, and if not I go in and pat his bottom and that usually puts him to sleep pretty quickly.  I hate that he is crying though.  The few times I've got him in the right window he has gone to sleep pretty peacefully but it's so hard to pick - especially because he displays sleep cues way earlier than *should* be age appropriate.  It probably doesn't help that he is a super speedy feeder (usually 10 mins max) so even to get to 40 mins A time means he has already spent 30 minutes chatting to me, playing on the floor etc.  I'm going to try to be super observant of sleepy cues and put him down before he gets OT/OS, but I think that will mean his EASY will drop from 3hrs down to 2/2.5hrs because I can't really expect him to nap for over 2 hrs each time.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on January 01, 2014, 13:47:36 pm
I know that many mommies will disagree with me, but what worked for us is just clock watching. Cues were never reliable with my touchy guy and I always had him OT or UT if I went by them.

But if you can get him to sleep with some patting then it's great. At this age he still can't do it by himself so if he needs only little help you are lucky!

If you are going to reduce his A times too much then he might be UT, therefore not nap for long and have more NW at night. Of course it's worth a try, but just bare it in mind.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: scruffymax on January 02, 2014, 00:56:33 am
Yesterday I followed his cues and he had quite short A times (less than an hour, for an 8 week old).  First nap was fine (1hr 45 mins), the next 2 naps needed multiple resettles, catnap ended up being quite long, then he woke and fed 3 times between 3am and 6:30am (normally feeds 2-3 times overnight).  I was thinking the frequent early morning wakings might have been from UT so today I'm trying to increase A times... first nap he woke at 10 mins and resettled himself but only slept just under an hour total, second nap (now) he has already woken at 10mins and resettled himself so I'm expecting he's OT and will again wake at 30-40 mins. Bleugh.  Why don't they come with a step-by-step, minute-by-minute instruction manual???
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Daisy_6 on January 02, 2014, 10:55:35 am
Hi

I speed-read BW after going through yet another meltdown. My baby is 14 weeks and is a touchy baby. I felt comforted after reading the book and angry at the advice I'd been given since having my son, which lead to the routine mess I am in now (so accurately described by Tracy as a on-demand mother).

My problems are:
1. Nurses to sleep, so hard to do EASY (more like ESAES at the moment)
2. Cannot go to sleep in own bed by himself
3. Fights the swaddle but sleeps better with it due to crazy startle reflex
4. Always need to be held

My days have become basically staying in my room in the dark trying to get him to nap, all day in PJs, taking 3 hours to settle him for bed (feed, put down, he wakes, feed, repeat), no time for anything and totally exhausted.


My husband and I decided to start our baby on EASY, from last night. It basically ended 7 hours after starting bedtime and he fell asleep at 1am after passing out from fatigue on my shoulder. During this time, he spent most of the time on our shoulder as he wouldn't stop crying and I was hoarse from all the sshing. He slept till 6 this morning, I fed time and he fell asleep and I put him back in his bed, and he woke up at 7.30. We weren't sure whether to start the day since he had so little sleep, but went with it. I fed him and as usual he fell asleep for 15min, and I started doing A when he woke up. I could tell he was still tired though he was smiling.

When I tried to initiate S, again I fed him till asleep, and he woke up as soon as he hit the bed, and would not stop crying. Ssh/patting did not calm him, not even when I picked him up. He is sleeping now on me because I feel really sorry for him for lack of sleep, and it would be the only time I can type this.

I feel I have done so many things wrong and caused all of these bad habits and I am at a loss how to start rectifying them.

I know its way early days to see any results, but I do wonder if EASY and ssh/pat will work in the end for a baby with his temperament? We believe we caused his bad habits and its our job to teach him properly, but really don't want to cause him so much stress if there is a more appropriate way.

Please help us, I am worried I will suffer from pnd if this lifestyle continues and my husband is worried sick about me. I will very happily pay for a consultant to meet my baby and suggest a way forward for us. I feel so incredibly helpless now.

Thanks ever so much.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on January 02, 2014, 12:00:07 pm
scruffymax, the NW do sound UT... hope you are successful with tweaking A times.

Daisy, hugs, touchies can be hard work. This support thread is for specific advice about touchies and how to help them cope well with being stimulated so easily and sensitive.
It sounds to me that you need advice about that AND someone to look generally at your EASY and routine. I suggest that you copy and paste your post into a new topic in the EASY board. Hope that's ok with you :-*
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Jservello on February 14, 2014, 18:05:32 pm
Hi al I'm hoping this gets read because there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of activity. Anyways I have an 8 week old touchy DS. The issue I'm having is he's very clingy. He sleeps in his cradle during the night but for his naps I cannot get him to stay asleep unless I have him  on me for the entire thing. It's making it so that there is no Y to my EASY. How do I get him off me and into his cradle for his naps?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on February 16, 2014, 16:23:36 pm
I would suggest that you start a thread on the EASY board or on the general sleep board. I am not sure that this has to do with him being touchy, it sounds to me more like it's routine issues or AP that he got used to.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: dache on February 18, 2014, 09:28:13 am
Hi al I'm hoping this gets read because there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of activity. Anyways I have an 8 week old touchy DS. The issue I'm having is he's very clingy. He sleeps in his cradle during the night but for his naps I cannot get him to stay asleep unless I have him  on me for the entire thing. It's making it so that there is no Y to my EASY. How do I get him off me and into his cradle for his naps?

Did you start a new thread? If yes, can I have the link pls?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on February 18, 2014, 23:36:50 pm
The pp's thread is here New to EASY having a hard time with wake ups and bedtime  :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: epting57 on February 24, 2014, 01:06:26 am
So had to do a little travel today with DD.  We had a baptism to attend two hours away and then a lunch afterwards. 

Left house at 8am right after DD finished bottle.  She went right back to sleep in car for trip.  Got to destination. Changed clothes at MOMS house and went to church.  DD had another bottle at church. Seemed happy and alert looking at all the people.  It really wasn't a big church.  Maybe 75 people.

I knew they had an organ and was nervous how she would react as this would be her first experience.  Well as i feared she started crying as soon as it started up.  I took her outside and she fell asleep, so i went back in church and held her the whole service while she slept. PS actually missed the baptism part.

went to lunch where she seemed happy for about 45 mins.  But after meme holding her and taking lots of photos plus others wanting to see her for the first time, she got really upset.  I took her to a different room so we could be alone which helped but nothing could really console her.  She took another bottle but started crying right after it.  We ended up having to leave and go back home because she was just having total meltdown and I knew she was just overstimulated and tired.  As soon as we left she fell asleep and napped for three straight hours.

How do you guys ever go to larger gatherings.  PS she is two months
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on February 24, 2014, 08:42:36 am
Regular breaks like you were doing helped :) it does get better as they get older.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: zportiss on March 30, 2014, 23:52:28 pm
Hello!
I am hoping for some good advice with my ebf  5 month touchy (spirited) little girl.  We have a complicated sleep training mess.  She has always nursed to sleep, has no firm schedule (trying for 4hr easy) and is a very, very bad napper, and lately she is waking right after going down at night.

Any tips on pu/pd shush pat?  My husband and I have decided to start it in the next few days.  I'm so nervous about starting it because I don't know if I have the resolve and when it comes to bf my lo is crazy serious about it for such a lo.  When we head to the couch or bed where I nurse her she immediately starts crying with desperation to nurse....every time.   Sometimes she gets pretty mad and I'm always scrambling to get my boob out to calm her.  Now at naptime, when I try anything else sitting or standing rocking, bouncing, patting, she has that same level of cry...impatient, angry, nurse me right now so I can go to sleep!

Has anyone else used shush-pat or pu/pd with a touchy lo that is extremely difficult to get to sleep and successfully been able to break a nursing prop?   

She's so easily stimulated too....example: today she was napping in my arms and her stomach made a noise, she startled, eyes popped open, and she probably would have drifted back off except she noticed the sheets I recently hung over the windows and started studying them.  Tried covering her eyes but she just fought me and it stimulated her even more...

Also, yesterday we went to lunch with a big group of family and she cried off and on in fear of all the strangers and then last night she woke several times crying and when I settled her her eyes were closed and it seemed like she was dreaming about her scary day :(  breaks my heart!  Does anyone else's touchies have bad dreams after a stressful day?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on March 31, 2014, 00:02:00 am
Hugs, my first was very touchy and still is sensitive but it does ease up as they are more able to take in the world around them :-*

Does she have any reflux or colic etc? - does she nurse to sleep for all naps and night sleep? - you can definately try gradual weaning at this age? If you rock or cuddle to sleep to I you can introduce patting on the bottom or back while you hold/rock and then transfer to the cot patting. It's a gradual change but works well.

I'd avoid PU/pd if you can. It's very stimulating for some LOs and touchies tend to get too worked up.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on March 31, 2014, 12:41:11 pm
'd avoid PU/pd if you can. It's very stimulating for some LOs and touchies tend to get too worked up.
Absolutely agree with that.  Would have driven my LO1 crazy.

Sara, and others, I feel with LO1 that GW of feeding to sleep in the daytime would've made him more frustrated.  I think he'd have been better with cold turkey.  Sure, he would've been hopping mad for a day or two but once he understood it was not happening again, he would've gone with it.  I did use GW with him for just about everything else - but in this case I think a direct switch to 4s and sh-pat would be more effective, and ultimately less stressful.  There's something about touchies and clear boundaries.  What do you think?

it seemed like she was dreaming about her scary day :(  breaks my heart!
I'd say she was OT, rather than having bad dreams.  In situations like that, which might be stressful for touchies, I would make sure to keep her close, maybe even in her carrier for a lot of the time, and take her out of the room for a bit of quiet time if you can at all.  I really would avoid handing her around to different people.  Maybe hold her and let people come to her.  (See post above by epting.) 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: zportiss on April 03, 2014, 23:59:11 pm
Zacsmumme:  she is so difficult to even get to sleep with an AP...I just can barely get her to nap at all now.  I like the idea of introducing shush pat while AP.  Have you heard this is common with touchy babies or do you think it's more likely OT,UT, or. Over stimulated? 

I don't think it's reflux, I've never seen any reason to be suspicious. 

So I do shush pat, and then when she cries I pick her up and do shush pat until she is calm?? I've read the book and the faq's but I am not she if you're suggesting something slightly different. 

I am very sensitive like my lo so I am just nervous about my resolve...I want to make this as painless as possible for both her. And I.  It's so hard for her to even get to stage one because she is always such an alert baby...I can't imagine her getting there while she's so upset during the initial. ST.  But,  I know it's possible because I have read the success stories. 

Do you consider carrying her in a sling to get her to stage one a prop?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on April 06, 2014, 07:51:54 am
I just know with my first touchy sensitive boy gently moving from AP to IS with shh/pat worked well ;) he had silent reflux too so there was no way I was going to do pu/pd as crying aggravates the reflux pain. So I pretty much did what your doing but I'd shh/pat in my arms till asleep, then gradually less and less ie drowsy and finish off in cot, then moved to WD followed by a hum and into cot for a few pats...eventually I could just pd in the cot. He was a bit younger though :-\

Have you had any advice from try he sleep boards? You may want to post on easy or general sleep to see how your routine looks etc?

Personally I think sling or wrap naps are totally fine. Start with aiming for one nap a day in the cot if your struggling. Then move forward from there.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Kirstyjenner on April 09, 2014, 09:57:17 am
Hi there i am new to this site so hoping i have the right forum.
I have a 8 week old who was 5 weeks prem. Basically i just wanted to ask anyone if they have gone through a baby who when is awake just cries. Taking his clothes off having a bath lying down, passing wind and also being held too much. i just cant seem to do anything right!!
He is suffering with reflux which started new meds last week and he is now sleeping longer than 45 mins! But when hes awake hes just grumpy! I have a 20 month old and i feel like i cant spend all my time trying to find out whats wrong with 8 week old.
Any advice welcome x
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on April 18, 2014, 07:37:54 am
Hi Kirsty, sorry no one has replied to your post. Have you posted on the main boards?
My touchy cried a lot in his first 6 months. It was so tough. Can you baby wear? This ill help for the reflux too. I also invested in a dummy which really was the best thing for him, and me!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Mel p on May 21, 2014, 20:21:28 pm
Please help me I am really struggling. My little girl is 8 weeks old and I think is a mix of touchy/spirited. In the day time she is a lovely, happy little thing but from late afternoon it's like she turns into a little devil! We have always struggled to get her to settle at the evening despite having a consistent bedtime routine since about 4 weeks. She just won't settle and can be sound asleep on us and then as soon as we put her down she wakes and either grumbles escalating to a scream or just screams straight away. Other nights she screams in our arms even. It normally takes 2 or 3 hours to settle her and it's exhausting. She has reflux and the medication does seem to have helped her feeding issues. But I don't know what to do to help sleep time. I have tried to implement a routine and limit her day time sleep and make sure she is having enough awake time but it doesn't seem to help. I wake her from naps in the morning only to find she won't take any naps from 4 ish. If I let her sleep as long as she wants then she won't settle as she is wide awake. She hates swaddling. Any advice anyone?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 23, 2014, 00:21:42 am
Hugs, at 6-8 weeks they really seem to 'wake up' don't they. She is still really little and some of that touchiness could be down to the reflux discomfort she is experiencing.
Things that helped us :)
White noise and a dark room where she sleeps?
Baby wearing through the rough/colicky period (the touch arvos are really common with babies and they do love to be close and held so if you have a wrap or sling, or DH is happy to cuddle her in a rocker then go for it!)
Try a paci. They are good for reflux and help to minimize the crying and aid settling if your LO likes to suck

What meds and dose is she on? Feel free to post on the CRC board for support and advice re her reflux and crying xx
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Mel p on May 23, 2014, 15:23:37 pm
Thank you for your advice. We do keep the room dark and use white noise. We have started to think also that she may be overtired too so just letting her sleep as much as she wants during the day. Hopefully that will help too. She is on ranitidine 0.5 ml x 3 per day. Re the sling, thanks that's a good tip. We will try that. Normally it's DH upstairs pacing the floor for hours on end! We do use a paci too but she's also find of her fingers which is good!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on May 23, 2014, 19:13:06 pm
Do use the sling to APOP if you can. Both of you can have a snuggle and she can snooze while you stroll. 

Touchies are really sensitive to OT and to OS (overstimulation).  They *LOVE* their routine.  So once her reflux is sorted, if you still think she's touchy, those are the top things to bear in mind.  Once a touchy baby has found their routine, things are heaps easier :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ZacsMumme on May 24, 2014, 02:23:40 am
Oh bless. We ended up with a recliner that rocks in the lounge with the lights off in huge evening and DH just held, rocked and walked my boys around till they settled, then kept them in his arms for an hour post BT till they were close to 12/14 wks old as they were just too uncomfortable to pd in the evening. ::) :-*

ITA with Anne re routine. My first is touchy and he sleeps really well, and has done mostly since his reflux was controlled as long as he wasn't OT/OS. Their sleep windows are short, but I found once I knew DS1 well enough he was actually easy to read as he got older.

If your LO is really unhappy try walking out in the trash air. I'm not sure why but it always helped DS1 when he was awfully OT or unhappy.

REMEMBER HER RANITIDINE DOSE WILL NEED INCREASING WITH EVERY (Sorry about the silly caps) 500gm weight gain. X
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2 napping
Post by: Ella64 on July 08, 2014, 09:10:09 am
Hi all, I'm totally new to this website. I did try to search for touchy baby and over tiredness but search thing doesn't seem to work, just said I wasn't allowed to search?!
Basically, my ds 14 weeks, and I am desperate for help to get him to nap. He is going through sleep regression and so wakes at 20 or 45 mins. But I am having some success with putting him down to nap when he is only awake for 1hr (he doesn't really give cues to sleepiness). But the timing is so critical. I just put hm down now, and have watched him for 20 minutes doing tired cry, settle, yawn....and he still looks wide awake. I don't want to pick him up and overtire him, but if he is under tired he can lie there for a long time and finally cry properly and I think he is overtired. It can then take hours to settle him, usually by feeding to sleep or a car ride. Any tips really gratefully received! I feel house bound, and all my antenatal group seem to have baby's that 'just nap' wherever and whenever they feel ready. This sounds totally wonderful but the opposite for me. I'd like him to be able to nap while out of the house occasionally!!!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on July 08, 2014, 09:19:27 am
Hello and welcome to BW! 

Yup the search function doesn't work but if you can use google if you put babywhispererforums and your topic, I think.

Do you know he's a touchy baby? Have you done the quiz?
The BW "Know Your Baby Quiz"

My touchy one would just about never nap out of the house, I'm afraid.  Best bet was in the sling.  You can do things to make it more likely that your LO will nap out and about - getting timing right, getting his buggy dark and snuggly, or deciding to go out at a certain time, accept a short nap, and make it up later.  Figure out what works for you.  It'll be easier to do once he's on a routine.  But usually I would reckon on taking a home day after a dodgy nap day, just to make sure he makes up his sleep.  And remember this too shall pass, as he get bigger and needs fewer naps. :)

Those babies you see napping out and about have probably just passed out from exhaustion! :P And that is something touchies don't really do, as they are sensitive to overtiredness and overstimulation.  Because they are sensitive to overstimulation, that can cause short naps, sometimes.

An hour seems a short A time for that age.  The average is more like 1hr 20-30.  Touchies tend to need a good and consistent wind-down and sometimes also holding through the jolts which occur naturally about 20 mins into the sleep cycle as they transition to deep sleep.
What does a good wind down consist of (Includes 4S ritual)

Different lengths of naps mean different things. So 20 mins means he's being woken by the jolts of transition to deep sleep (easy to fix, you need to just gently lay hands on him in the cot so he can't jump too much!) and 45 mins usually means he's undertired as he's waking up after one sleep cycle.

HTH!  You might want to post on naps or EASY boards if you feel your question is more about routine than his touchiness :) 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: athenasmom on August 27, 2014, 13:27:19 pm
Hi, I have an 8 week old and I am starting to wonder if she is touchy. I read the baby personality quiz but she does not come out as touchy. She does not cry without a reason, she does not get scared of noises or new things. However she seems to have super hard time to turn off sensory inputs. She is very prone to os and ot and eventhough we have been on a good  routine since she was born, by the end of the day she cannot drop off to sleep without the ot screaming and exhausting herself. Even APOP does not help. She cannot be held or rocked to sleep, she would not drop off in the swing or in the stroller. She needs to totally exhaust herself to sleep at this stage. It is so sad to watch and I feel it is somehow my fault. We spend most days home to stick to our routine and I watch her like a hawk for tired signs to not miss her window.
What do you think? Is this just a normal developmental stage as she has really woken up from the sleeping baby stage in thelast 2 or 3 weeks? Is this a routine issue?
I did bw with my first but he was an angel baby and I do not remeber any issues like this. By 8 weeks he nicely self settled and took good naps. He was coliky in the first 6 weeks but after that life was a bliss with him.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on August 29, 2014, 13:48:13 pm
Hi Suzanna,

My LO1 was the touchy one, and he was also super sensitive to OS and OT, with either of those he would end up screaming his tiny head off.  It was awful so I can sympathise!   He would not sleep in a stroller/buggy or even in a sling once he got a bit bigger, no hope of him dropping off in a bright room with other stuff going on.  The only APOP that worked was feeding to sleep, which I used only when I really needed to!  What worked for him was a good long wind-down and a solid routine. He needed to have his naps in his room, with the black out blinds up, a good long wind-down (along the 4S lines below), lots of sh-pat, swaddling and his dummy.    The good thing is that once he was on a solid routine, he calmed right down, was happy and curious, a great eater and so on.  Also, after a several weeks of implementing a long wind-down and naps in his room, he became a good independent sleeper.  So there is hope.  :)

What does a good wind down consist of (Includes 4S ritual)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *foxy* on August 31, 2014, 18:49:21 pm
Hi. Need help with st my 12 wo DS. We are in a short naps nightmare which is leading to major OT and then he doesn't feed well and then he's up every 2 hours feeding in the night. Im exhausted and so is he. 

I read earlier in the thread about shh/pat and GW? So you'd try shh/pat in your arms which Im currently doing but Im walking around too (in his room) them once he's asleep putting him down but he always wakes 35/40 mins later and is very difficult to resettle. Do you sit with them and shh/pat until asleep etc then gradually use less shh/pat or put them down more awake and shh/pat in the cot? What do you do if they wake up and start crying? Just start again? He seems to get so worked up in his cot
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on September 01, 2014, 13:42:46 pm
Do you sit with them and shh/pat until asleep etc then gradually use less shh/pat or put them down more awake and shh/pat in the cot
That's what I did at this stage.  I also had to HTTJ at 20 mins but then we were set for a good nap, until an A time bump was needed.

Just don't expect too much of sh-pat (or yourself) if there's any chance he's uncomfortable, as I think there might be?

((HUGS))
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: nurse2003 on November 01, 2014, 21:54:27 pm
Hi all
Have a 6mo old touchy baby and I need routine structure and sleep!!!
He is LO number three.

I have this thread here so any support anyone can give me for best ways to get him sleep trained please!!!!

first 24hrs, are we on the right track? QUESTIONS (routine, short naps, pu/pd)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: HouseManagerMommy on November 20, 2014, 01:33:45 am
Hi there,
First time mama of a touchy/spirited 4.5 month old little girl here looking for some support, and assurance that it does get better.

Have started reading back into the posts on this touchy thread, and it has helped a lot. Having a really tough time reading her cues especially for sleep, and whether I read it right or not she only takes a 30-45 min nap, its just whether it takes a half hour to get her to sleep or 5 mins. She just recently (within the last 2 weeks) started drawing out her A times to 1.5-2 hours, which is great as she is more interactive, but because she does want/need a lot of face time, I feel stretched very thin when, after 2 hours she only sleeps for a half hour. We use the carrier toward the end of her A time to transition/calm down, and that seems to be working well (she HATED it with a passion until 3 weeks ago). I have been cautioned numerous times against white noise, and black out blinds. the general theme seems to be that they're a prop that will have to be used forever. Would REALLY like an opinion on this.

We also have reflux issues, which seemed to be under control by me cutting out dairy, caffeine and acids (citrus and tomatoes). That is until last week, when she started spitting up again very frequently, being more gassy, and uncomfortably fussy. This was also on the heels of her first two teeth coming through (yeah, there's been a lot going on). She has also developed eczema on her cheeks and legs...which leads me to thinking there is something else in my diet that might be causing that. The thought of cutting more out of my diet is frustrating as I feel so limited as it is. I talked to her Dr. and they aren't inclined to do allergy testing on a baby so young, especially one who is EBF. She has always done this gagging choking thing, which scares the crap out of me, especially when it happens in the car....dr chalked it up to excess drool because of teething, which I willing to accept, its just still so nerve wracking.

We have just recently needed to begin nursing in a darkened, quiet room. She is completely distracted, and won't eat completely if the tv is on, people are talking, etc. This makes going places difficult....does this change at all?

We have had our successes: We no longer need the swing to sleep, and she takes all of her naps in her crib. She is giving me 3 hours of sleep at night at a time in her co sleeper (would REALLY like to extend this, but all in good time) and she is often able to play independently for longer than 10 mins.

Things I have learned that might help other mothers:
Shh/pat does not work, at all. Too distracting

Low humming works well, an intermittent mmm hmm, or uh huh

We swaddled until 4 months for naps, and still half swaddle for nighttime. She started to roll over this last weekend, so we'll be watching her closely.

Oddly enough she does NOT like to co sleep. This must be her spirited side coming through.

Until recently, she didn't like to be held to sleep either. She wanted to be helped to sleep in her crib. Now, if I've missed a cue, or am trying to resettle her after a jolt, I can pick her up and lightly bounce. Basically, a modified pu/pd.

It is possible to desensitize a touchy baby to sounds, somewhat. I have spent many nap times helping her through (a heavy hand on chest and a hand on head, or pressure on shoulders) neighbor dogs barking (each different bark caused startling and waking), garbage truck (this one is still difficult for her, since its only once a week, but is getting better), the neighbor kid revving engines, and using air tools, the garage door opening (right under her room), me putting clothes away in her room, me talking while putting her down for a nap, car horns, etc. It seems that once a sound becomes familiar it no longer causes a jolt.

She sleeps with her head turned to one side, and I have to be sure to face her toward the wall. Even with no art on the walls, and very simple items in the room (crib, dresser, rocking chair, mirror, side table, ottoman) its almost like the room is too stimulating for her and facing her toward the wall helps with that.

I'm going to keep reading through the thread, and I'm sure I"ll find more things that resonate for us. Thanks for reading
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on November 21, 2014, 22:01:22 pm
Hello lovey, I'm off to bed right now, will be back but wanted to suggest you also have a look or even post on the reflux board too as sounds like that's a serious issue for her (and you).
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on November 25, 2014, 20:21:01 pm
Hi HouseManagerMummy. Did you post on the reflux board?

Regarding white noise and blackout blinds I would just use them if they help. I used white noise until my DS2 (my touchy one) was 15mo. I just stopped it cold turkey when he moved into his older brother's room as big bro never used it (he fell asleep listening to lullabies but they turned themselves off after half an hour or so). My boys still sleep with blackout blinds now at 3yo and almost 5yo but I don't see it as a problem. Loads of people complain their kids wake early in the summer when the sun comes up at stupid o'clock but blackout blinds solve that issue. Some people I know have just gradually turned the white noise down over a matter of weeks until they stopped using it altogether. I've never heard of it being a problem long-term. To me that is a bit like saying down use a carrier or nappies as you will want to stop using them at some point. It really does sound to me that white noise and blacking out the room would benefit her since she seems very sensitive to the environmental noises and light in the room over stimulating her.


I would definitely ask the dr about a trial of meds for the reflux. And maybe keep a food diary to see if there are any obvious links between the foods you eat and the flare ups. Try to remember the elimination diet you need to do will only be until you wean her, it isn't forever. If you suspect she is in pain from a food intolerance (or worse an allergy) then I think you do need to try to cut that food out of her diet as well.

I'm not sure that the distraction gets less but obviously they do nurse less as they get older so you will soon find that you can feed her and the have time to be out between feeds.

Not sure what you mean by half swaddle exactly but if either arm is still in I would wean it now she can roll as it is too dangerous.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 01, 2015, 22:32:23 pm
Hello! My DD2 is 6 weeks old and a very touchy LO.  I have a really hard time settling her for naps and BT.  Thankfully she sleeps well at night for now.  I'm working on reading her cues and finding her window but she is really hard to read.  I'm sure I am missing her window and she just screams when I try and put her down.  She is my 3rd and we have a very busy house -  I'm sure she is OS/OT most of the time.  I've resorted to AP most every nap in the carrier or pram because it takes so long to settle her and I can't ignore my other 2 LOs.  I try for 1 nap in her moses basket at this point.  Am I creating big problems for myself later on with all these props?  I just can't find any other way to get her to sleep and she becomes so OT.  IS it ok just to survive at this point or should I be trying to create better sleep habits?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on February 02, 2015, 10:27:40 am
She's only 6 weeks so I totally wouldn't panic about *how* she's sleeping, but focus on getting her to sleep and avoiding OT. So I'd definitely go with AP naps.  Given she's touchy, I'd focus on that, and on reducing her stimulation when you think she needs that.  She may often be happy just to sit in her chair, or lie on the floor, and look at everything that's going on, and not need toys etc.  Also the sling is brilliant for that, she can hide her head, have a calming cuddle and so on.  It's great that you are aware of her touchiness, so you can look for ways to work with her.

At this age, getting E-A-S going, however loosely, and trying for one nap in the moses basket, is just perfect :) 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 02, 2015, 11:33:45 am
Thank you!!  It is great to have some reasuurance - it has been a while for me.. Her crying throughout the day has made it difficult on everyone at home so I just desparately want to keep OT away for now.  I'm working on getting some blackout blinds and white noise.  I'm still rocking her to sleep for her one sleep in the basket.  I figure there will be time to work on her independent sleeps?? When she wakes early from the sleep in the basket - should I try and extend and if that doesn't work just pop her into the carrier? She loves the Ergo which works well for both of us - I can be out with DS &DD1.  Thanks again!
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on February 02, 2015, 13:41:34 pm
Ah LO1 loved his carrier too!  Positively refused to go in the buggy!  ::)

I'd pop her in the carrier if she wakes early.  Is she swaddled?  LO1 also adored being swaddled and loved his dummy. 

And I'd plan on trying to work on naps when she gets to about 3 mos.  Think about how your day flows with the other LOs, or if there's time coming up when you'll have support at home for a week or so.  Pick a good time for you, rather than putting yourself under pressure.  No point in doing things half-heartedly. 

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 02, 2015, 23:13:16 pm
Yes she is swaddled but is so hard to settle.  I think the OS/OT creeps in so easily and it just makes it really hard for her to relax.  It takes about 20-30 minutes to get her off to sleep in my arms. When I do try and get her sleepy before putting her down for a sleep, her eyes keep popping open.  It is so frustrating!  When I just get her to sleep in my arms, and she wakes early she is impossible to settle.  ::)   When I was starting out with my others I would get them sleepy in my arms and then lay them down and they would drift off.  It just doesn't work with DD2, she keeps "waking up".   

Do Touchy babies have short A times?  She is 6 weeks now and consistenly does her first yawn at 35 minutes but I read average A times are about 1-1:15hr?

How can you get touchy babes to sleep on their own? I tried yesterday to put her down drowsy but awake and after trying to shh/pat her she got really upset, escalated quickly and even when I picked her up it became impossible to calm her down.   I'm going to have a lot of OT days unless it gets easier when they are a bit older and not so sensitive?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on February 03, 2015, 10:40:49 am
when they are a bit older and not so sensitive
this was not my experience.  LO1 is still a sensitive soul :) which is amazing a lot of the time.

I tried yesterday to put her down drowsy but awake and after trying to shh/pat her she got really upset, escalated quickly and even when I picked her up it became impossible to calm her down.   
Yup, LO1 would never have gone down like that at that age.  There was no way he would have settled on his own, he would've screamed blue murder.  So it's not you, don't worry.

Touchies tend to love their routine, and get OT very quickly.  With LO1 I did a lot of clockwatching.  He was bang on average sleep needs, but needed a long wind-down.  So perhaps plan on wind-down (or at this stage, a lot of the time, putting her in the carrier) about 10 mins or so before you think she needs to sleep. I also had the last portion of A time as a quiet time, so toys were put away, and he just looked around, or at me, or out the window or whatever.   I was lucky in the sense that my touchy one was my first, so I was able to spend a lot of time helping him sleep.  I know you have a lot of other things going on but hopefully we can help.  Average A times for 6 week olds is about 1 hr 15, so I'd try calming things down around the hour mark and take it from there.

6 weeks is still so very young.  Are you bfing?  Not sure if it also works with bottles but I wouldn't mind too much about feeding her to sleep if it gets you through the OT.   AP when you need to, OT is the enemy here!

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 03, 2015, 22:20:57 pm
Thanks for your reply - I felt so much better today knowing the AP is ok.  I just did what I had to do to get her to sleep - carrier, car seat, rocking at home. I even got a nap in the cot today- I had to rock her and she didn't sleep more than 20 mins but at least she didn't scream the house down.  I am BFing her so I used that at BT and got her really sleepy and then rocked her until asleep.  Very little cry8ing which was so much better than last night when she cried nearly 2 hours at BT. 
Does the OT/OS cause bigger jolts at 20mins.  I was watching her sleep today and her jolts at 20mins were really reallybig - I'm not surprised she woke herself up. I tried to HTTJ but it didn't work.  I'm not sure I can swaddle her any tighter. Any other tricks?
How did you get your touchy baby to sleep independently? Is it just slowly slowly over time? I really need her to start to learn so I can spend time with my older ones but it seems like she is not at all ready for that.    :-\
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: newkidontheblock on February 04, 2015, 09:45:09 am
Hi there. Wondering if I could get some been there/done that advice here. We weaned DD of her swaddle a month ago and after the initial week of difficulties, she started taking her naps in her crib - just needing a heavy sheet over her. But we are currently in a wonder week, which is playing havoc with sleep. I was wondering if anyone could share their techniques/methods for soothing/resettling their touchy babies. None of our usual methods are working as she no longer settles with patting, rubbing and even PU/PD hasn't been working. She is textbook/spirited but I feel that she is extra sensitive to stimulation.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on February 06, 2015, 19:49:54 pm
Jen, how are you getting on?  I wanted to say I always fed to sleep at BT :) just do it, and don't feel bad :)  I do think, yes, that OS and OT cause bigger jolts.  You might need to put a bit of pressure on her arms, I suppose. In this weather you could also maybe tuck a blanket over her? Are you swaddling her or are you using a swaddle that you've bought? There are so many different types, and there's also this 'unbreakable' Aussie swaddle as it's called.
Swaddling Technique (aka "Aussie swaddle")

How did you get your touchy baby to sleep independently? Is it just slowly slowly over time? I really need her to start to learn so I can spend time with my older ones but it seems like she is not at all ready for that.
All babies are individuals, hun, so there's no knowing what your DD will get up to.  For my LO1 it was a slow process of being super consistent with his wind-down and rock solid on routine.  He was sleeping independently by 5 mos, with some bumps thereafter.  But he loved his swaddle, his dummy, and his epic wind-down so I worked with those.  With your DD, obviously you've got to work with the circs you're in.  So I think you're already doing brilliantly :) even to be aware that she needs this extra bit of care is wonderful, I think.  If a sling nap works for her, then do what I did with LO2, start her in her cot, and if and when she wakes, pop her in the sling so she can keep napping.  Try not to fixate on 'how to get her to sleep independently' as she really is very young for that, even for a non-touchy baby.  Since she's a touchy, your mission needs to be getting her to sleep.  You're doing really well with coming up with options. 

Fleur, WW are of course madness.  Outside of that, I'd say maybe try reducing her stimulation before nap time, super low key just before it's time for sleep.  And when she needs resettling, don't touch her if that doesn't work.  I've found sitting on the floor by the cot, rather than standing over it, is a much better visual cue, and patting the mattress and saying softly that it's time to lie down.  Let her do whatever craziness she needs to but just exude calm and repeat 'time to lie down' (or whatever you say).  Keep eye contact to a minimum but be a soothing presence.  If she's sensitive to stimulation, avoid PU/PD like the plague.  Once he lay down, I would just lay a hand on my LOs back if needed, not patting, just a warm, gentle pressure, bit like a hug :)

If you're open to the idea, lavender essential oil in an oil burner in your living space may help her have a calmer awake time too.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 06, 2015, 22:14:10 pm
Thanks for checking in on me.  I'm doing ok.  I've never appreciated how very hard a touchy baby can be.  But little by little each day I am learning more and more about her and what she needs.  She started smiling which melts my heart and makes all the crying more bearable.   ;)  It helps to have the reassurance to feed her to sleep - I am so used to thinking to try and avoid that if possible when my other ones were little.  Tonight she cried/screamed at BT for 45 minutes.  She actually had a decent day napping but the OT must have snuck in at BT and I didn't notice.  Her A time is always a bit long at BT but it is just impossible while also putting my older ones to bed. So tonight I just swaddled her tight (I have a light weight blanket that works well although I will check out the Aussie swaddle you mention), held her close to my chest and gently swayed/rocked with her in a dark room to get her to calm down.  She was so worked up.  I guess this would have been one of those times I should have just fed her to calm her down? 

I was so happy she napped in her car seat today for an hour!  Small victory as it was not the carrier so I could do some things around the house while she slept.   ;D

That is really helpful to hear about how routine was so important.  Was it the actual times that was important or did you find just the routine of what comes next was reassuring?  I'm struggling with her A time - I just can't extend her without her screaming before sleeping.  She still yawns at 35mins and seems to need to be asleep by about 55mins.  I have to work on her wind-down routine.. it is definitely helping.  What did yours consist of? DS also liked this but can't remember what I used to do.  :P 

I haven't tried her on a dummy - neither of my other 2 would take one.  Do you think it could help her?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on February 07, 2015, 10:51:46 am
  It helps to have the reassurance to feed her to sleep - I am so used to thinking to try and avoid that if possible when my other ones were little.
I always did at BT, particularly while still in the fourth trimester!, and tried to avoid during the day unless we needed to.  The thing with AP is that APOP also exists - Accidental Parenting on Purpose ;) This is where you have a couple of tricks up your sleeve if all else goes to pot.  BFing I have found to be the ultimate secret weapon! It really helps to think of it that way, so you have a few things you know you can do if you need to.

I was so happy she napped in her car seat today for an hour!  Small victory as it was not the carrier so I could do some things around the house while she slept.   ;D
Hurrah for small victories!  I think that's maybe a sign that she's feeling better rested all round, so she was able to take a nice nap. :)

For wind-down we did the classic 4S as recommended by Tracy -
What does a good wind down consist of (Includes 4S ritual)
You can tweak as need be - not all babies like sh-pat, some prefer just to be held and a hum, or a back rub and a quiet song, or whatever.  Just something that becomes the cue for relaxation and sleep.  My LO1 loved his dummy, it really helped him relax and sleep.  Of course it comes with its own potential difficulties, but if it helps her at this stage, it's worth a go, I suppose.  In fact, he kept it rather longer than I would've liked (til age 4 :P ) and the moment we got rid of it, he started sucking his thumb!  It's just another way of a sensitive person calming themselves down, just as a grown up might have a cup of tea or go for a walk or whatever.

Have a great weekend with your tiny person (and bigger ones too!).
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 10, 2015, 23:26:24 pm
Tough day today. Caia is just so hard to read. I can't figure out her cues and she cries hard now before every nap - even in the carrier - which is new.  :(  she took 2hrs to settle at bed. Even when I try to feed her to sleep; her eyes pop open when she jolts. It seems rhe harder I try to reduce OS/ the more it creeps in. The APOP isn't even working today  ???

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: newkidontheblock on February 11, 2015, 02:19:57 am
Thank you for the support and ideas, Weaver. Sorry it took me so long to reply
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 16, 2015, 15:07:21 pm
Just remind me this does get easier... I am already so tired of fighting her to sleep and she is just 8 weeks. And then she never takes a long nap. Not sure I can keep this up...  :'(
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 16, 2015, 20:02:27 pm
I had to feed her to sleep again...  after all the jolts finally stopped she was as peaceful as an angel.  I wish I could help her more during the day to be so calm. 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on February 17, 2015, 10:13:38 am
I know hun, it's hard enough with a touchy baby, and must be really tough with two more in the mix.  I really wouldn't feel too bad about APoPing at this point.  She's still so tiny, and so sensitive, you've just got to do what you can to help.  Try for what you'd like to happen but don't beat yourself up for making life easier for *her*. 

((HUGS))
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 17, 2015, 11:02:19 am
Thank you Anne.  What kind of APoP worked for you? ive got the carrier and rocking her.  Both very physical on me.   Nothing else works. she screams in the car, car seat, pram etc.  Always short naps in the cot after rocking impossble to extend...  so it is really just the carrier to get  a good nap.  :-\
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on February 17, 2015, 11:14:37 am
Do you have a sling library anywhere near you?  A good sling shouldn't be too hard on your back, particuarly at this age, you should almost not be able to feel she's there, if you see what I mean.   Failing that, a good baby stuff shop should have a range of carriers for you to try. My two APoPs were carrying and BFing :)  I used a baba-sling and an ergo (still using ergo with my 2.5 yo tho not for naps).  LO1 if you remember wouldn't go into his buggy for love or money, no chance  of naps in there!  After a short nap in the cot, will she go back to sleep again if you put her in the carrier?  Just a thought?  There was a great thread about babywearing a while ago, let me try to find that for you.

Have you tried swaddling her in the car seat?  I think this is possible and might help?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 17, 2015, 12:11:03 pm
Yes she LOVES the ergo and so do I. It is my saving grace. She just took 2hrs this morning in it.  So I use that all the time but mostly need to walk out of the house for it to work. Good to get out I guess when not raining  ;).   BF'ing I use at night for BT and whenever she wakes. It does scare me to think we have to reverse this at some point! I try not to feed to sleep during the day for naps. Id rather rock her if possible. I am finding she is stRting to really fight the rocking to sleep now. I think she would prefer to always sleep in ergo. I can pop her into it when she wakes.  I have a sling I will dig out and see how that goes.  Did you ever try a dummy? I've been trying and I really think it stimulates her?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on February 17, 2015, 14:03:26 pm
Anyone want to chat about babywearing?
You might want to look through that ^^ but the ergo is amazing IMHO!  Yay for that big nap :)

LO1 had a dummy from 3 days old.  He *needed* it to relax and it worked a treat for him, wasn't a prop (ie I never had to wake up to replug).  Why do you think DD2 finds it stimulating?  She perks up? 
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 17, 2015, 15:08:07 pm
Thanks for the link.. Will read. I think that because every time we try it and she falls asleep; she gags and spits it out. That part seems to wake her; she stirs and eyes pop open. Start all over. Then she is often cross and takes more convincing to take the silly thing. Is that just part of her learning how to do it? I know she is late to the "dummy" game at 2 months and my others never had one so I have no idea how to get her used to it. She gags and chokes and I am using the newborn  small ones..
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 18, 2015, 16:22:37 pm
Anne, did your LO1 get VERY attached to sleeping in Ergo? Caia seems to be protesting sleeping anywhere but...

Did I mention she also has reflux? Making things so much harder. I think another reason she loves Ergo. Is it worth introducing sling to break from Ergo or just stick with what works?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on February 18, 2015, 19:46:49 pm
Ah I didn't know she had reflux.  No wonder she loves the Ergo!  Has she meds for it if she needs them?  I think I'd stick with what works, that'd be my instinct.  Have you seen this by any chance?
Sleep and the reflux baby.

LO1 loved being in the ergo but I had the time to spend helping him sleep in the cot so he mostly slept there and was in the ergo a lot when we went out. He was very sensitive to stimulation so it was a great spot for A times.  LO2 did a whole lot more sling napping. But she wasn't touchy so would also sleep in the buggy sometimes, which was amazing.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: ~Jen~ on February 18, 2015, 22:30:18 pm
Her GP started her on Ranitidine but I'm also taking her to see the GI who helped DD1 with her reflux.   DD1 had terrible reflux and food intols so that is when I first fell in love with the Ergo  :)  She wasn't touchy though so I could easily get her to sleep in her cot for great naps.  She just screamed in the evenings from the reflux pain.   
CAia is a whole different level - I've never seen a baby get this OS so easily.  A while back you said a rock solid routine helped - was it rock solid with the timings? i.e. feed and sleep same time everyday or just the general pattern of how you did the same wind-down each time?

Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Tracy_reid20 on August 29, 2015, 13:50:21 pm
I have a touchy 4m/o girl -startles and cries if the dog barks too loud, crinkles up her eyes if she goes from a dark room to a bright room etc.  Most difficult part I find though is that she wakes very easily if we make any noise while she's napping.  We have about 10 mins where we can make noise (from about 20 mins after she goes down until 30 mins - while she's in a deeper sleep).  Does anyone have a good recommendation for white noise? I bought a Homedics soundspa machine but I (being a touchy personality myself) have already found a strange background noise in it that has a loop sound pattern to it.   Is it possible that she would pick up in it as well and disrupt her sleep?
Any advice would be helpful.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Ima shel Alon on August 30, 2015, 10:30:58 am
I am not sure what you mean by a background noise, but we downloaded a 20min white noise track and played it in a loop for DS1 for all his naps and at night time.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Spl0ink on October 19, 2015, 18:15:10 pm
Hello - can I reinvigorate this thread? I'm increasingly sure my 20 week old son is touchy. I read the description and found this thread whilst on holiday - I think I might have been too daunted to come on the holiday if I'd found out sooner!

My main concern with him is the speed and ease with which he becomes overstimulated. It can seem to be from the moment he wakes up, and lying on the floor looking around can be enough to whip him up into a frenzy, in which his eyes become wild and he is so consumed by trying to see everything that he whips his head back and forth. It's actually quite frightening to see.

His A time invariably consists of nothing at all as a result. We rarely go out. Toys seem like a big no no. Naps are another nightmare, but I am hoping they will improve once I can nail the timing of his A time and actually come up with some ideas for how to spend it which won't completely frazzle him.

Any suggestions, examples of your A times, or any other observations on life with a touchy baby, all gratefully received! Thanks x
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on October 22, 2015, 18:06:26 pm
Saw your SOS message elsewhere ;)

We used almost no toys at that age, I have to say. Definitely never anything that lit up or (eeeeek) made noises.  LO was really happy lying on the floor/rolling about in a quiet room watching the world going by, walking around with me (indoors or out) and looking at stuff, looking out the window, watching me fold laundry, or cook.  He loved to go to the shops - in the carrier!  In fact, my touchy love inspired me to get rid of the TV entirely and we haven't had one since (5 years ago now). I always talked him through everything we were doing, I think that helped him relax, maybe the sound of my voice? 

Getting the routine right was important for my touchy one, and he was pretty much in line with textbook times for his age.  The thing was he needed a long wind-down, and to start with patting while in the cot. 

Fire questions at me if you like :)  There's lots of info on the thread if you have time to read back.  As he got older, I read the Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron, and it is him to a tee.  But I think Tracey was one of the few 'baby experts' to recognise such sensitivity in small babies.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Spl0ink on October 25, 2015, 13:26:00 pm
Hi Weaver! Thanks for your answer. I have read through the thread and found it enlightening - lots of info that I definitely relate to. As a result I've ordered an ergo and am going to try just wandering around with him to see what we can see. I have a mai tie but as it has no hood or way to cover his head when he does get tired or over cooked, he invariably ended up screaming his head off in it, so I stopped using it. I'm actually very excited about it as we have basically been housebound for the last two months. I will take it slowly and report back! Thanks again.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Spl0ink on October 29, 2015, 16:41:14 pm
Hi Weaver. I have got some questions for you, if that's ok. Can you tell me what your wind down consisted of  and how you encouraged independent sleep?

As he gets older and more alert, my son needs more help from me to get to sleep, not less. Actually, I feel right now like we're beyond me being able to help him. I've been trying to get him to sleep for the last hour and I know he's now completely over tired and frazzled but he's still awake, moaning in his cot.

Shush pat seems to ramp him up. My husband tried pick up put down with him once and I'm so utterly convinced that it's completely the wrong approach for him that I swore we couldn't do that again. All that has worked previously is putting him either asleep or so close to the brink that he goes down himself, but he's now so alert and overstimulated that if I put him down asleep,  he wakes myself up and starts crying. Very low level crying, but he is unable to put himself back down. I could cry myself. Nothing seems to work anymore.
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Desperateforsleep123 on January 17, 2016, 16:18:13 pm
Hi,
New to this site, I have a two and half month old baby, and am pretty sure she is a touchy child. She hates being dressed undressed, getting in to the car seat, out of the bath. She also screams a lot and becomes inconsolable if she is not responded to right away.  She is not comforted by breastfeeding and will scream even louder if I try that. Any advice to make transitions easier for her?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: weaver on January 17, 2016, 16:22:07 pm
Hello and welcome, that sounds v hard! Just want to check whether she has any medical issue? Reflux maybe? Something else with her digestion? Just wondering because you say she is not comforted by feeding. Back later when I have more time. :)
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Desperateforsleep123 on January 17, 2016, 23:26:23 pm
She doesn't have any medical issues, was born full term and was 8 lb 1 ounce. She does often cry when she's done eating, but usually once she burps she is ok. Also she stops crying when I put her in the baby carrier, but that hurts my back so I don't like doing that. She also has no problem sleeping flat on her back. Her crying was getting better but then she got her shots so this week she been very cranky.
How can I tell if she has reflux?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Desperateforsleep123 on January 19, 2016, 17:41:24 pm
I am starting to hink she may have silent reflux actually...
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: *Ali* on January 21, 2016, 20:39:46 pm
Have you checked out the reflux board?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: stuckunderhere on February 15, 2016, 12:41:26 pm
I'm joining in too with a 2mo old touchy little boy. This is all new for me. Both my other kids were spirited and I knew what they were demanding/needing. This lil guy, he confuses me... HELP! He also has reflux and some intolerances (gluten, dairy, soy) just like his brothers. But even eliminating those, he's still very ALL OVER. happy, not happy, tired, not tired, feeds are okay but he takes forever (like almost an hour and wants an hour or so later). We have no routine at all. What do I do?
Title: Re: Support thread for raising touchy babies - part 2
Post by: Tabathagucci on May 23, 2016, 16:08:31 pm
Anyone here?  Need a wind down routine for a textbook/angel (I think?) bit touchy with sleep.  She's a reflux baby and super easy going but I think easily stimulated (although doesn't cry just gets excited and jerky).  She seems to go from fine one minute to super jerky and overexcited the next with an act as simple as trying to put her down when it gets within 30 mins of nap time.  I have a 4.5 year old so I can't keep her in a dark quiet room 30 minutes before nap!  I try to keep things mellow but it doesn't seem to ever work.  That and the same thing that works one time won't work the next and so on.  I just can't seem to get into a good routine with her.  I'm trying to put her down early so she has time to mellow out but maybe that's backfiring on me?