BabyWhispererForums.com
EAT => Food Allergies => Topic started by: ~ Vik ~ on August 13, 2010, 02:33:02 am
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... and I'm getting scared :-\
Dylan was originally supposed to move up to the toddler room at his daycare at the beginning of July. Due to some staff holidays, and a child that was supposed to be leaving deciding to stay until the end of the summer, Dylan won't be moving up until September 7. Other than the cost ($50/day vs. $38/day) it didn't really bother me at all; DH's sister is one of the carers in the infant room and he's got a good routine going there. He's definitely developmentally ready to move up though - he's WAY beyond the rest of the infants (only 2 of the other infants are walking, and only 1 is attempting to talk) and he gravitates towards the toddlers when they're all out in the playground together. I know that he needs to move up and be with the older kids and doing the activities they do. He likes the 2 carers in the room, he's already got a couple of little friends in there from out in the playground, etc. Socially and developmentally, he needs to move up.
But his allergies scare the crap out of me.
In the infant room they all eat in high chairs, and Dylan has his own that no-one else ever uses. There's no chance of something spilling and not getting wiped up properly, it's HIS highchair. But it's with all the other ones, so he's not segregated at meal time in the slightest.
In the toddler room they eat at two toddler sized tables with chairs. Together. Where they can grab, spill, touch, and, well... generally be toddlers. There are two other kids in the room that drink soy milk (one is lactose intolerant, one is MPI) and the carers have said that they will place Dylan in between them, so that will help some, but :-\ :-\ :-\
Also, because of the high chairs in the infant room, Dylan can't see what everyone else is eating. So if today's lunch is cheese quiche (pretty much the worst thing possible in the nut-free daycare) and I bring him something different it makes no difference to him! The carers always put his food in the same type of bowl as everyone else's and he happily munches away. But at the toddler tables he would be able to see that his food is different. And it does matter to him - when we eat dinner at the table, if there's something on DH's or my plate that is different (even if it just looks different, like a large slab of meat vs. his cut up little pieces) he points at our plate and then points at his open mouth ::) and he is very insistent. Fine at home (if we are eating as a family I ensure that the meal is safe for everyone; if DH and I want something like bacon and eggs we do it after bedtime) but at daycare there will be unsafe meals. I have to provide his lunch at least once a week, sometimes 2 or 3 times. At home our plates are out of reach, at daycare that bowl full of hives and swelling is going to be within arms reach...
And toddlers feeding themselves yogourt for snacks. Cheese. Quiche. Loaves made with egg. Cream sauces on noodles. Mustard in a dressing. The daycare is peanut/nut free thank goodness, but everything else... :-\ :-\ :-\
I know that this is something that I'm going to have to deal with. We're doing a tour of the toddler room with the daycare manager and the staff of the toddler room next week. I don't even know what questions to ask, what requests to make. I do NOT want Dylan segregated from the rest of the toddlers at meal time. It's not fair to him and I don't want him to feel different and not understand why. But I don't know how to suggest that they keep him safe. I know that there's going to be a learning curve, and I'm prepared for hives to happen. With all their experience and care with him in the infant room, he would still get at least a couple random hives per day and have enough hives to need benadryl occasionally. But how can I minimize it? How can I help? What should they be doing? Any parents who have BTDT in a school or group daycare setting have words of wisdom to pass on?
Sorry that this has become so long and rambled :P
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Vikki is Dylan aware of his allergies at all? Does he know he can't eat some things because they make him sick? Spencer can't verbalize about her allergies, but she is okay with me telling her that certain foods will make her sick, and we do eat things she can't at meal time, as long as part of the meal is the same. Masyn comes in handy because she will tell people what Spencer is allergic too, but my sister's oldest has allergies and she drilled them into his head early on so he could refuse food people give him if they don't know.
Spencer is not contact reactive at all, so daycare never really bothered me at all...but if she was I would be freaked!!! So far she is still in a high chair (I think because it keeps her from eating things she shouldn't) but the kids all eat in the same room. She's really not the type to care if she eats somewhere else anyways!
I wonder if they would consider having him sit at the end of table with the other no milk kids on either side of him, and that always be his spot? His own bowls, utensils that are washed separately? And reinforce the hand washing after eating, cleaning up spills etc. Perhaps some education for the other kids on allergies and what they can do to help?
HTH Vikki, I will think on this a bit more {{{hugs}}}
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Vikki, thank you so much for posting this... you have reminded me that I am facing the same situation as you! And this hadn't even crossed my mind - bad mummy! :(
We have a settling in session in two weeks time so I will ask them what they plan to do with meals and snacks. At the moment, I know that DD sits at the same table as the other kids but they have a carer with them so they are supervised at all times but I'm not sure what happens when they move to the next room.
I'll let you know what they say in case it can help your situation at all.
Thanks again,
Irene
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Hey Vikki,
I think Heidi had some great ideas, and similar to what I was going to suggest. For sure start now (if you haven't already) by showing him something like cheese, or yogurt (that they'll have at day care) and tell him it will make him sick, or hurt his tummy. I have been doing this w/Gwyneth for a long time, when she was younger I just kept it very simple and said something like "Owies" and touch her tummy. Now I just tell her it will make her sick. Hers are all GI related. Scarlett has an anaphylactic (sp?) reaction to penicillin, and it covers her entire body with hives, we called them leopard spots. So that was something we would talk about w/her - how she would get leopard spots all over if she came in contact with that medicine.
It is tough, and you don't want them to be separated, but you have to determine your level of comfort with the exposure. Is there any way you could even supply a small table that could be put at the end of the other tables? So that he is there with everyone else, but his chair and table are HIS and it would limit cross contamination? Maybe talk to the other MPI moms and see if they want to chip in for a milk allergy table or something?
((hugs)) :-* :-*
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Thanks for your thoughts!
I haven't really talked to Dylan about his allergies, and that's a really good idea. Rather than just saying "not for Dylan" (which applies to everything from cheese and eggs to the houseplants and my makeup ::)) to say that it will make him itchy or ouchy. He does understand ouchy - whenever he falls or bonks something (or I do!) I always say something like "ouchy! Mommy stubbed her toe and it hurts! Owww!" And he has picked up on it, he dropped a book on his foot and said "ow!" And if I'm doing it at home and I can get the ladies in his room to do it at daycare that could really be helpful going forward.
I love the idea of having him sit at the head of the table, flanked by the other kids drinking soy milk. That will at least keep the 'spill-contact' to a minimum :) I'll see what they think about a special table for him too? I could probably get a relatively inexpensive one from ikea or something, and then he would be safe but not segregated...
Irene, they do have 2 carers in the toddler room, and I'm sure that one supervises each of the tables. The fact that your lo is already eating like this actually does make me feel a bit better, like it's possible to do it without too many troubles, kwim? And I did speak to one of the carers when I picked Dylan up today, and she admitted to me that she was nervous about him starting. I'm actually taking that as a good thing, believe it or not :) It tells me that she's aware of his allergies and how easily any contact with milk/eggs/etc can cause him to break out. She asked me a bunch of questions about how to deal with his hives when they do happen, when to give benadryl, his epi pen, etc. I'd rather that kind of nervousness than a complacent, "don't worry, everything will be fine!" attitude :)
Thanks again! We don't have our meeting until the end of next week, so please let me know if you have any more thoughts :) :-*
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I'd rather that kind of nervousness than a complacent, "don't worry, everything will be fine!" attitude :)
Yes, in a weird way it is reassuring that they are concerned too.
I would start talking about his allergies as much as possible...Masyn now questions everything I feed or don't feed Spencer...as "why can't she have my milk Mom? is it because it has milk in it?" and even makes up fake allergies for herself if she doesn't like something. ::) I've even read of putting red stickers on unsafe foods and green ones on safe foods so kids can easily identify them. Haven't really bothered with that yet, Spencer doesn't know her colours!
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DS is in a similar situation, although we are only MPI. At Daycare, he sits with the one other kid who has different foods (i think she is vegan?). DS is not bothered at all about having different foods (apart from when its C-A-K-E (its like a taboo word in this house now i even spell it on BW!)) He is proud to be the only one having a banana or jam sandwiches. The staff are good too. eg when DS has tomato pasta and all the others have cheese pasta, they tell him he has "red" pasta like some TV character (at the moment its all about fireman Sam!) and ask him to repeat "red" etc to make it fun for him. Also he has his own beaker with milk in thats the same as the daycare ones but i take it home every night, and send our own formula, and DS's beaker has his name on a robot sticker on it so its easily identifiable.
I know this doesnt help you with the allergy thing, but i'm sure he will be fine with having different stuff, and the head of the table sounds like a great idea.
Hugs
Lili xx
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How many kids sit at a table for lunch? At our local elementary school there's a whole separate table or two that are nut-free; could your nursery have at least a dairy-free table since they're already nut-free? And if you can enlist the support of the families of the other non-dairy kids, that should help to keep the allergic contact to a minimum.
Staff can help the kids be more conscious of washing their hands after each and every meal and snack and craft project; that kind of hand-washing will come in useful come cold and flu season anyway.
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DS's beaker has his name on a robot sticker on it so its easily identifiable.
Spencer's cup at daycare has a big pink elastic around it for easy identification and they don't let the kids have cups unless they are at a table or in a highchair, so that cuts down on any chance of her getting milk off someone else.
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Lili, I love the idea of making his different food fun :) He LOVES Elmo right now, so I might mention something to the carers about saying that it's Elmo's favourite food! And I like the red sauce idea - they do that all the time too; set aside noodles for him before they mix in the cream/cheese sauce, and I bring in some tomato sauce from home. Thanks for that idea!
Deb, all the kids in lunch in their own rooms. So there's only 10 kids in the toddler room, and they sit at 2 tables of 5. There's not a centralized dining area, kwim? But it might be worth exploring to see if the dairy-free kids could be separated a bit from the others to minimize contact as much as possible.
Oh, I have a toddler waking up... Back tonight.
Back now :) I like the idea of having the kids be more conscious of handwashing, Deb. I know that the carers are very, very meticulous about it, but in the infant room the kids are different. It will definitely be something to bring up at our meeting - do the toddlers wash their hands, how often. I know that they have little toddler sized toilets, so I'm sure that they also have miniature sinks for them. Maybe they can institute a policy of handwashing before and after meals, after crafts, etc. And you're right, that will help them all come flu season, not just Dylan!
Dylan's daycare sounds very similar to Spencer's, Heidi - they are only allowed drinks in their high chairs, and snacks are only in high chairs or at the table. I do bring him his own cups from home, and they are different so easy to ID :)
Thanks again everyone. I'm definitely feeling more prepared for the meeting! Like I have some ideas and requests to bring up, rather than leaving it all up to them :)
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Thanks for letting me lurk and steal some good ideas :)
All the LOs at nursery are given a cup at the start of the day and they are id'ed with a name, altho I do provide cups as well for DD.
I will also bring up the handwashing question.
We have our meeting on 24 August so will be back to let you know any good info!
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Hi Vikki,
We had our meeting and they've told me that they will carry on doing everything they are doing in the current room as it seems to work for LO. So she has a different coloured bowl from the other kids so they know it is her food, they will have someone sitting with them when eating to help / supervise etc. So I'm afraid that I can't offer you any ideas or tips that haven't already been mentioned.
Hope your meeting went well!
Irene
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Thanks for checking in Irene! I'm glad that they're carrying on with what's worked best for your lo :)
We had our meeting too, and I think that it went well :) They seem to have a good plan in place for meals and snacks:
- all meals and snacks happen at the tables
- once you get up from meal/snack, then you are all done and get cleaned up (no going back and forth)
- all toddlers have their own placemats with their names, and their food, cups and utensils (and hands!) stay in their zone.
- Dylan will be sitting at the head of one of the tables, with one of the carers on one side (so he will only have one other child beside him)
Everything else will be similar to the baby room - I have a small cupboard space for extra food for Dylan when the daycare food isn't safe, I have a small section of the fridge and freezer, and the kitchen staff is the same. I am trying to be realistic in my expectations too. I know that Dylan will get hives. It's inevitable, really - he gets them in the infant room, and he even gets them at home sometimes - but it's minimizing it as much as possible and knowing what to do what it happens.
The only *funny* thing (not really funny, but can't think of another adjective)... When I had my meeting with the carers, one made a point of saying that she's trying to limit the cream cheese at breakfast time. Cream cheese is sticky and a bit messy, so to keep things safer she's trying to limit it as much as possible and offer butter and jam instead :o :o Had to remind her that butter is just as bad, and that it doesn't matter what they eat as long as they clean up properly afterward. Eek.
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It's surprising how many people don't understand what dairy free really entails!!! (MIL once fed Spencer cream of mushroom soup and thought that was okay ::)) Besides that it sounds like they have everything in hand, I especially like that all the kids have their own tableware! Hope the transistion goes smooth for him!
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Yes fingers crossed for all of us!
We're starting the new room next week so let's see how it all goes. I know there are going to be teething problems but I'm all prepared for that.
I agree, I don't think some people are actually aware of what dairy free really means!!!!! But we all live and learn!!!!
:)
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So, first day yesterday... No hives!!! ;D ;D And a 1.5h nap in the little cots they have to boot :) Success!!!
Thanks for all your help and support everyone :-* :-*
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Yay for Dylan!!!
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Awesome news Vikki!! Wooohooo Dylan!! ;D
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well done dylan! xx