BabyWhispererForums.com
EAT => Breast Feeding => Topic started by: Vicku on June 18, 2011, 08:17:23 am
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Hi all extended nursing mamas :D
Extended nursing is usually considered nursing past a year. This is a place to come together and chat about your experience and offer each other support.
Continued on from ... http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=171591.0
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We're still here. Cadan is still having feeds at WU and BT only. He actually refused the BF this morning. Not sure if it was because he was sick in his cot overnight or he saw DH's water on his bedside table that he fancied more. ::) He then asked for BF when in the bath with me a couple hours later but only took a few mins.
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K still a lot. Not sure if i am making it the forbidden fruit by limiting it. I just can face being a milk factory full time on call.
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I think it is ok to forbid it. Not sure if you read the Tantrum Breastfeeding book but the author explained that it's really important for both of you to feel comfortable, and that might include limiting the older child. I think if you stay consistent Khalam will soon learn that there is no sense in asking for more and will probably stop, or at least accept a No easier. I am pretty sure that I will have to do the same with Hayden once the new baby arrives, cause he asks for more frequent feeds right now as well. But currently he knows that there is none other than morning, after his nap and BT, so he is not very persistent. This might change though once he sees the new baby feed all the time. ::)
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I have been consistent for several weeks now and generally he is be better but we still sometimes have tantrums and major crying. Worse when tired.
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Mh, hopefully it will get better soon. Lots of hugs and patience for now though!
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Hi ladies! I guess I'm just barely into "extended"...
Sterling is 13mo and I'm feeding at WU, 12pm, 4:30pm, and BT. He is MSPI and has other food allergies and intolerances so despite having to be on a restricted diet to BF him, we are persevering. It's been a long hard road though so if S doesn't self-wean before (his brother gave it up at 16.5mos), I'd like to be done by Christmas.
I take fenugreek twice a day. How are the rest of you managing with supply?
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Welcome Shannon. It must be hard breast feeding a MSPI, I couldn't even imagine. Good job for keeping it up so long! I am actually not worried about supply and haven't been since he has been about 10 months or so. I just figured if my supply drops he might self-wean and that's ok too. Now Hayden doesn't really care whether I have much milk or not, it is mainly a comfort thing for him. So I can't even really tell how my supply is doing. :D
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Welcome gm. Well done on 13m with a restricted diet. Maybe he Will outgrow it soon. I always felt like my supply had gone before no 2 but there was always milk when i squeezed after a feed even though i couldnt pump at all. I think at that age you produce on demand so dont get so full. Are you worried about supply? I am also planning to be done with k by xmas. I have a feeling he Will fight it all the way though.
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How did I not know there was a BF support thread? I've been all over the BF boards lately bc of recent issues. Mainly supply. I'm taking fenugreek 2-3 times daily, drinking Mama's Milk tea, eat oatmeal every morning, and just bought calcium/magnesium supplements to start taking while ovulating through AF. Those 2 weeks of the month are the worst.
DS recently started eating every 4 hrs and just got done with his 4m GS so I'm hoping things will pick back up soon. It's been a tough week.
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Hi Justine. Congrats on keeping up the BFing. good to hear you have made it through the 4mo growth spurt and out the other side.
This thread is actually about extended nursing (nursing LOs 12mo+) so might not be so relevant for your issues. Don't worry about posting as many questions as you like on the BF board if you need help with specific issues. I found having support from other mamas who had BTDT really helped.
I have no idea what my supply is like but since I am pg there is not that much I can take for it. Cadan seems happy with his 2-3 BFs each day so I'm just going with it.
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Ohhh...I thought 'extended' just meant the thread was.....extending. ::) ;D
Hopefully I'll be back here after Isaac's a year :) I'd love to nurse for at least that long.
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Ohhh...I thought 'extended' just meant the thread was.....extending. ::) ;D
Hopefully I'll be back here after Isaac's a year :) I'd love to nurse for at least that long.
hehe. Sounds like you have the determination to keep at it with all you have done so far to give your little guy the good stuff so far.
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Hey ladies (hi Shannon I miss you!!!) Congrats to all of you for bf this long :-* I bf DD1 for 11m by which time I was ready to stop and she wasn't fusses at all when I stopped offering. So DD2 is now 12mo, she is MPI and I was dairy free til she was 10mo, began introducing to my diet and she was fine (doesn't tolerate it in hers yet though)
I have cut down to 1 x bf a day (bedtime) and occasionally in the night but fingers x'd she generally sttn. For a good couple of months now she's had no milk in the morning, v happy to move straight to brek, a bottle at some point in the day (was nutramigen, now oat milk) and a bf at bedtime. But these last few days she's been lunging at my chest and pulling at my skin like she wants a morning bf ??? Then she was doing it later in the day today too ??? I don't especially want to increase the bf's, I work p/t and
Happy with the one feed. Could this be a phase?? She's never ever been one to demand feeds, is this a sign of things to come if I continue to feed her as a toddler does anyone think??
Thanks ladies xxx
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Hi Charli! Nice to "see" you too. Sorry, I don't have any advice to give other than to say that our morning feed is definitely more 'nourishing' than BT. Maybe you need an extra snack (ie. growspurt or something)?
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I have no experience of this either Charli. C did go through a short phase of asking at inopportune moments but we were still doing 4xBF/day at the time at around 12mo. Since we dropped a couple he doesn't really ask during the day so much. Is she still being very demanding now?
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I would say it is likely a phase, maybe she has a developmental spurt or just a bit more SA at the moment and wants more comfort. If you don't want to increase the numbers of feeds I would consider giving her a morning feed. Maybe you can give her some more cuddle times and hopefully this will pass soon.
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I'm wondering if I should go for dropping one or both daytime feeds. The past few days I basically have to pin the poor guy down to keep him nursing. Just getting to letdown is tough. He has been teething too but it's really been gradual that he seems to rather have a snack with his brother and forget about nursing. Morning and BT are still going strong. I've been toying with moving the feed to before his morning nap even though that might result in a feed to sleep situation. He'll give that nap up eventually anyways, right?
Advice? We have been pretty consistent 'scheduled' in our feeds (8am, 12pm, 4pm, 8pm) so he really never asks (although can get fussy if I'm running late). How many feeds did you do at this age and when?
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Well he is 1 yr old now so theoretically he doesn't need any breastmilk or any other milk if he gets his calcium from other sources. I would say let him wean the two day time feeds and just keep the morning and BT one if that's what he wants. We still did 3 feeds a day at that age but it is completely fine to have less. And I wouldn't want to start the habit of feeding before the nap just so you can keep the feed, but that's just me. :P
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I went back to work at 13mo and so we dropped from 4 to 2 feeds around then no problem.
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Shannon, we dropped from 4-3 feeds just after 12mo. I kept the after nap feed as well as BT and morning until recently. Now we normally do morning and BT only with an after-nap feed about 1x week if he asks. Your LO is definitely old enough to just have 2 feeds if that is what you want to do.
Last night and this morning Cadan asked for a sippy of milk or water at BF time. He still had his BF as well though.
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Maybe the hot weather at the moment Ali?
I am still reading along and will offer BTDT help as I can but we are now 5days without a BF. K was getting too demanding and it was causing so many tears wanting it all the time and me saying no. He isn't over the moon about the wean and still asks when he is OT but it is improving. Guess I don't belong here anymore (sniff).
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We always need BTDT advice KM.
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Totally understand you are a bit sad, but on the bright side hopefully the struggles will stop and you'll end up having a better time with Khalam. Good luck for the rest of the weaning.
Hayden always has cows milk and breastmilk at BT, oh and water. He really drinks a ton before bed. Luckily I am not even near to try and have him out of diapers at night. :P
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he doesn't need any breastmilk or any other milk if he gets his calcium from other sources. I would say let him wean the two day time feeds and just keep the morning and BT one if that's what he wants
That's part of my worry. He doesn't get a whole lot of calcium etc otherwise because he is MSPI (milk soy protein intolerant) with other allergies. I am giving him a bit of rice milk mixed with coconut milk in a sippy, but he doesn't have any other foods that would be that great I don't think (only nuts and broccoli is coming to mind at the moment as other good non-dairy sources??).
I think he really should have at least 3 milk feeds and it may not make sense to even do that until he's ready for one nap, but trying to convince him to nurse right now is so tough. I can hardly get to let-down, even with compressions. He would rather smother me in kisses and bear-hug/wrestles (which is totally delightful, I admit).
Hugs to you KM...
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There are some other non-diary sources of calcium like figs, leafy green vegetables (kale, mustard greens, spinach, beet greens; kale even has more calcium per ounce than milk), bok choy, turnip, okra, sweet potatoes, oranges, some fish and sea foods (salmon with bones (i.e. canned), rainbow trout, blue crab, clams, sardines), soy and white beans, tofu prepared with sulphate/nigari, blackstrap molasses, fortified oatmeal and cereal, fortified juices and probably even more. I understand that your LO is still pretty young and might not eat lots of these things but I think you can definitely get around not having milk and still getting enough calcium. Obviously some of these foods have more and some less, so maybe you can do a bit of research to see which ones work well for your child.
I would always go for the hugs and kisses rather than breastfeeding right now. :) Hayden is becoming more demanding as well and I have a feeling that it will end up being almost the same situation as KM's once the baby is there. We'll see...
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Hi girls!
Thought I'd update on us :) We were struggling with the supply dip I had when getting PG and DD was getting really frustrated and angry and sad. Ended up dropping the mid-day 3pm feed about 2 weeks ago as she wasn't really interested and there was nothing there hardly it felt like. Easily dropped it, she only asked for it once since. I let her have it but as there wasn't much she came off after 1 min and hasn't asked in the day since. So we're down to wake up and BT and now usually 1 NF rather than the 2 she was having before, and last night she STTN!!! ;D ALL night 7:45pm-6:45am. A bit deal for me who's not done any nighttime sleep training with her and have just fed at NWs. She finally did it on her own :D No idea if it'll continue but it was a nice sleep for me!
I'm happy to continue morning and BT, and those feeds are much better now. Her frustration has stopped as she's got used to the changes, and she takes good feeds now at those 2 feeds. A bonus from stopping daytime feeds has been that she's stopped the tugging and pulling of my shirt as she now associates BF with bed. It's nice to not have to feed during the day and for her not to demand feeds and pull my shirt, and I am so happy we can keep the nice feeds in the bed as I love snuggling with her. So for now we are happily still BF :)
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Great update Vicku, especially the STTN part. I really hope it stays that way for you. Pregnancies aren't all too bad, or? ;)
We have gotten into a little bit of a biting issue. Hayden doesn't want to let go of my breast in the morning cause he wakes way too early and is still tired and always at the edge of falling asleep while feeding in the morning. But he never really does and this hour long sucking for comfort gets really tiring for me (as I can't sleep) so I have been taking him off before he is ready to finish. Recently he started biting my nipple when I was trying to get him off and I felt completely powerless and out of control over my breast cause I couldn't get it out of his mouth whenever I decided to. So I had to resort back to pushing his head tight on my breast so that he can't breathe and has to open his mouth. It kinda works but he still does the biting most mornings. The funny thing is that he only does it on one particular side. ??? I try not to get too stressed out about it and hope he will forget all about it soon. Ah, so annoying sometimes when toddlers finally figure out how to get what they want. ;)
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I am so happy we can keep the nice feeds in the bed as I love snuggling with her. So for now we are happily still BF
Exactly how I feel Vicku. Glad to hear you are doing well.
I am starting to think now that it will only bee a few more weeks before I have tons of milk so I'm not too worried about the lack of milk there may be now. Having said that Cadan fed for 35 minutes this morning when he normally does 20 max. He was probably still tired after a short night but his eyes remained open.
Hugs on the biting Manuela. I do the pulling in to the breast too when need be but luckily haven't needed to for a while.
I'm sure I'm getting uterine contractions when he feeds and that is part of the reason why I am so uncomfortable when he feeds in the evenings. I still haven't managed to convert him to feeding lying down. He cries his little heart out and passes me the feeding pillow saying "this, mama, this" and I just cannot resist! :-\
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He cries his little heart out and passes me the feeding pillow saying "this, mama, this" and I just cannot resist!
Oh, so cute but also so annoying for you. Hayden loves feeding lying down, couldn't think of doing it any other way. It's the only time I get to actually lie down and relax for a bit.
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Yes, lying down BFing and BFing to sleep are two tricks I wish I had done every now and then just so I had them up my sleeve when required!
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K went through a period of not wanting me to lay down to feed. I used to latch him on and then lay down. I think to start on a few pillows so we weren't too flat. I was so uncomfortable when feeding at then end of my pg.
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Maybe I'll try moving after we start then KM.
And BTW, sorry to go off topic with a PG-related update girls, I had thought I was replying on the PG and BFing thread.
And I am due to go on a BFing workshop as one of the antenatal classes for my current PG this Friday. I wonder what I will learn about BFing and what their take on extended nursing will be.
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I wonder what I will learn about BFing and what their take on extended nursing will be.
I would be interested as well, but it seems strange to go to a workshop when you're still breastfeeding. ;)
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Hi Everybody -
My DD, 12.5 mos, appeared to be self weaning between 10-11 months...she was down to 3X daily (morning, noon, bedtime) and didn't seem too interested except for the night feeding. On the eve of her 1st birthday, it all changed...she started wanting to nurse--more, sometimes--and is now wanting to nurse herself to soothe into a nap! She did this at 9 mos, too, so I'm hoping it's a growth spurt/developmental issue. I had hoped to have her weaned in about a month, but just found out we're moving to Northern Virginia (from Texas). She is also cutting molars...I'm thinking I might need to wait as I don't want it to be too stressful on her.
I'm trying not to nurse her before the nap (I always nurse her upon waking from it)...but she gets very upset/meltdown. I caved in a few times in the last 2 weeks as I thought it was a growth spurt, etc, and she needed the comfort. But I don't want to set her back into forming any bad habits.
Any thoughts? Thanks!
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I wonder what I will learn about BFing and what their take on extended nursing will be.
I would be interested as well, but it seems strange to go to a workshop when you're still breastfeeding. ;)
Well actually I should have said it's a "feeding" class so it will cover current recommendations on bottle use like sterilisation that I would be interested in. Cadan didn't really take a bottle but I want to persist with one this time so I can be more flexible about leaving DS2 occasionally. Although it would be EBM not FF I would be using. I would also like to hear what they say about current recs for BFing as it may have changed since Cadan was so small. And there were some things like mastitis and thrush etc that I was fortunate enough never to experience so a refresher on what to look for and such will be useful. It is also the 3rd of 4 classes with teh same people so I don't want to miss that one as if I know it all when I don't I might even be able to help the other ladies with BTDT stories if they ask questions I could help with.
Jlisenby19 - I think it is a very personal decision as to whether you do the 4th feed again or not. If you decide not to I would just keep saying that she can nurse when she wakes up and stick to that. If you don't mind feeding her then maybe just make sure it doesn't become the way she falls asleep for her nap by having a nappy change or something inbetween the BF and the nap. And maybe only give it on the days she asks. That is how I'm weaning the after nap feed at the mo. If he asks he gets it, if he doesn't I don't offer and we skip it. We now probably do this feed a max of 1x a week. HTH.
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I went to a bfing workshop as part of my antenatal classes and it was a bit repetitive but interesting to see what has changed. I also chirped in with some BTDT tips and we talked about tandem nursing!
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Ouch on the biting Manuela, I hope that stops quickly!
I'm now only doing feeds lying down since we dropped the daytime feed, as morning and BT feeds were always lying down. Sounds like a good thing in relation to the PG then, and yes it is so nice to feed lying down and getting a rest yourself, especially in the mornings! :)
Yes, lying down BFing and BFing to sleep are two tricks I wish I had done every now and then just so I had them up my sleeve when required!
Yeah, I decided that after DD1, but DD2 never liked BF to sleep, far preferred her dummies once they were introduced at 3wks. She's only fallen asleep on the boob twice in the last 8 months. Once on her 1st b'day and once the other day. Both times she was very very tired and just couldn't stay awake :P But yeah, I agree it probably is a good tool to have at times. Suppose BF has been my tool at night as I've fed at NWs and it does calm her down and makes her go back to sleep afterwards, even if not actually feeding to sleep..
No more STTN yet, but we only have the one NW rather than the two we did have, so I'm pleased but hoping for more STTN of course.
Let us know how the workshop goes Ali. Hopefully they'll cover current directions of handling EBM and bottles in relation to EBM too as bottle and formula handling is different. Need to be far more careful with formula so you don't have to follow those guidelines with EBM.
I agree with Ali jlisenby. Also it is very possible it is in relation to a GS as they often happen around both 9mos and 1yr. You could always see how increasing her solids affect things. I've noticed that my DD always (until very recently when getting used to having no milk in the days) asked for milk when hungry rather than food. I think it was because she knew how to easily "ask" for that by pulling my shirt etc, but so far have no word for food or hungry.
How is it going for Khalam KM? Is he adjusting and coping well? Have you noticed any difference in things with him?
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Thanks for asking Vicku. Did you see we had weaned? It has now been nearly 3 weeks and he has stopped asking with any conviction. It is much easier now I must say, but I do feel sad. sometimes it is tempting to to let him have a little but I think 2 years is enough otherwise he will be going to school with it if I let him. I do plan to Bf B for 2 years too, so I will be back on here in 9months or so.
What are the differences between EBM and formula handling?
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Let us know how the workshop goes Ali. Hopefully they'll cover current directions of handling EBM and bottles in relation to EBM too as bottle and formula handling is different. Need to be far more careful with formula so you don't have to follow those guidelines with EBM.
Good point. I'll be sure to ask.
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KM, yes I knew you had weaned. 2 yrs is a fantastic time to BF so don't feel ANY guilt and of course I understand the sadness too... I think it is always emotional when BF stops as it is leaving something behind that you will never get back to again with that child.
Can't go into details now about the difference to BM and formula cos have to go, but BM lasts longer due to antibacterial properties etc while formula breeds bacteria quite quickly so you have to be much more careful about sterilisation and not re-heating etc.
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Well the feeding class rubbish and hardly covered anything. Everyone said they were planning to BF so they didn't cover bottle feeding. I expect I'll get a leaflet with the right details from the hospital anyway. We watched a video (yes an actual VHS tape) from 1971 of some babies feeding while their mums talked about how happy they were to have got past the painful first few eeks of Bfing! The mw kept just chirping in saying "we don;t do that /recommend that any more". I felt I was the only one asking any questions too and in the end just gave up and thought I come here to BW for help with tandem feeding etc. if I need it.
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K's mom, I also think that 2 years is such a great time and you have given your LO a great start, so don't feel bad. Oh, and the temptations to let him have a sip, I totally understand it. I would be so tempted as well, but at the end it doesn't do anybody any good. I am glad you seem to have gotten over the worst part though and can move on now. We'll see you back in a bit of time, I am hoping to come back to this threat then as well. :)
Ali, what an annoying class. From 1971, seriously? So much rubbish, I wish it would have been more productive for you. You can probably learn more in a BF book than in that class. ::) I really recommend the tandem nursing book for you if you have some time and are interested. It does have some good ideas in it and it gives you a bit more preparation on what to expect. At the end I think tandem nursing is a very individual experience as it depends so much on the mother and her children, so I am just waiting to see how it goes for us.
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Sorry the class was so useless Ali :(
Last few evenings DD has just taken a few sucks, like 5-10 seconds, then come off for about 15-20 seconds, then back on for 5-10 again and carried on like that 5 or 6 times before either she's asked for the other side or I've offered it. then repeat on that side :( Doesn't seem like she's getting more than a few drops and I don't even have a chance to get a let down like this I don't think. The morning feed and the one night feed we still mostly do are better but she still doesn't stay on for long and there's very little swallowing so I wonder if this is the beginning of the end... We'll have to wait and see I guess.
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I don't think it is necessarily the end for you, it depends if Sienna keeps being interested despite the low milk supply, or maybe start becoming more interested once you have more milk again. She might just take a small break and if you are ok with it start again when the colostrum gets in or the baby is born.
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I haven't been on for awhile, but thanks for the calcium tips. So far, we are still doing 4 feeds. He is getting to that tricky stage where they want to feed themselves (and tend to be more picky) but isn't yet good enough to end up full. I'm battling NWs where it's his hungry cry and he really wants to feed, but with work, home, etc, I really want him STTN consistently. We frequently get off track due to teething, illness, or (most common) major reflux flares/gut attacks due to a food intolerance/allergy issue.
I'm amazed at your commitment to nurse during your pregnancies. I was only 7 weeks along when DS declared "all done, cheerios!" instead of his usual morning feed. I'm guessing the taste had changed too not just the quantity. I was pretty happy though as I'm the type to barf a lot when pregnant! ;)
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I'm amazed at your commitment to nurse during your pregnancies.
For us it was easy since Hayden doesn't care what or how much he gets as long as he gets any. ;) Sometimes I do wish a bit he would have self-weaned during this time. Would have saved me the trouble to do it later.
Hope the NWs will quit soon and your LO starts to eat more. We had the same problem and I started to feed him some baby cereal short before bed. It helped a bit but most of the time he wasn't interested in eating it. ::)
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Thank you Ali & all who offered advice...we went to see the pediatrician (as Brinn developed bronchitis). She is getting all 4 molars at once right now. So the teething, combined w/a possible GS and the stress she must be sensing off of me re: our cross country move...I'd say it might be tricky weaning.
In the last week, she has actually done fine with just the 3X daily (morning, nap, night). I got her to nap w/o BF first, thankfully, so we're heading in the right direction.
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Khalam's mom, I got a question for you if you are still around to read it. ;) Did you notice that Khalam is eating less solid food when your milk came in and you were tandem nursing? Hayden still feeds 3 times a day (even though I wish it would only be 2) and now that he gets a ton of my milk again he hasn't been eating much other food. I am a bit worried that he is missing out on important nutrients and am wondering if I should reduce his milk intake. Any ideas?
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I can't say it is something I noticed about the eating less. K has always been one to eat loads oe day and hardly anything the next but I did'nt see any correlation with the milk intake. It is thought that kids who have more milk don't get enough vits and minerals sometimes. Maybe try to BF after a meal so he is already full? You may get more BTDT advice here too
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=183860.0
It has been quiet lately but I know at least 3 of the posters are still actively tandem feeding/pg and feeding.
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Thanks, I will check out the thread. I didn't realize they had tandem feeding mothers on there. Having milk after a meal is kinda hard cause we are in this routine of having milk right after sleep times (and before bed). I might have to drop at least the midday feed.
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Maybe just make sure he eats well before nap and then not for a while after the feed?
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I just wanted to report that Cadan has developed a lovely habit of telling a story about his day inbetween sucks during his BT BF. Yesterday he must have popped off the breast 50 times to say "N bite. Jump. Balls" or combinations there of in a forlon voice while biting his finger. He was telling me how his cousin N had accidentally bitten his own finger while sucking it and jumping into a ball pool that day.
Today his story was about his other cousin K saying there was no room for Cadan on the trampoline they were both jumping on. "No room. K. Oh dear. Jump". Anyway a bit OT but I thought you ladies might appreciate how cute this was. I just wanted to kiss his little head while he supped his boob but had to resist so as not to distract him and make BT any later than it already was. ;D
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sweet! Treasure up those momma moments in your heart!!!
Sterling asks for "song" when I nurse him now. He's just barely talking so it's adorable :-)
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I love the boobie conversations. I think they must think about their day as they sup because Khalam always used to come off and say something random that had happened hours ago.
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It's great that you can enjoy those conversations. I never could, it drove me nuts when he went on and off the boob. I just hate that feeling. So he knows now to be quite, I really enjoy those quite times though. All throughout the rest of the day I have to answer all his questions, and it's nice to have a break. ;)
So I weaned him from the after nap feed. It wasn't much of a wean cause he didn't used to have it anyways when he was in daycare. But he still cried a couple days and it really broke my heart. Now he still asks, but he doesn't really cry anymore. Still, I am not sure how I am supposed to survive weaning the other feeds in the near future. So sad to take something he appreciates so much, but he is getting pretty old. :( On the plus side he has been eating at least a bit more, he has always been a bad eater, but it makes me feel better about his nutritional intake.
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Manueli do you feel you have to wean him just because of his age? I don't think there is anything wrong with feeding an LO over 2yo if you are happy with it. Have you seen the video Rebecca (Tigerlily) posted on the tandem nursing support thread? It made me think I didn't need to worry about weaning Cadan just because he turns 2yo if it is still working for us.
Ignorance Meets Knowledge (extended breastfeeding)
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Actually I didn't get to watch the video, thanks for the reminder. It's a bit of both, me feeling weird cause I know lots of people (including my family) disagree with feeding this long, and me feeling more and more annoyed by Hayden's feeding. I just can't really relax that much anymore when he feeds and I keep rushing him to end it. So I want to stop it before it becomes a bad experience for both of us. But as I said, on the other hand I hate to see him cry over it. Yesterday was really bad, he cried after his nap and then he had a total meltdown when we got home from our afternoon walk cause it was time to feed Lukas but not quite Hayden's bedtime yet so he didn't get anything. It was really horrible and he was so destroyed by this. :(
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I think just after the arrival of another baby is probably the hardest time for a LO to be weaned because he may well already feel a little pushed out and jealous of the new arrival. But at the same time I can imagine it is the hardest time to keep feeding the older child when it is all so hard with all the changes fro mama too. I hope you find what works from you Manueli.
BTW Colby Charles arrived on Saturday so I'm now doing extended and tandem nursing. Let's see how long i can keep that up!
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Don't worry, I won't be attempting to wean Hayden anytime soon. When I signed up for the tandem nursing I knew I had to stick to it at least for a little while. And it's not that bad, I am kinda enjoying it. But the morning feed also leads to EW in this house and that's another reason to consider weaning at some point.
Hope your tandem nursing is going well Ali.
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Hello,
I've meant to come on here for a while now to let you all know we're no longer breastfeeding. It was a very gradual wean where Sienna self-weaned due to my gradually decreasing supply. There was nothing we could do to fight the pregnancy hormones, they just took over and the milk gradually got less and less. Felt sad :'( I would have really likd to continue for at least a while longer, but we just had to accept it and move on. In the end she was only sucking for a few seconds at bedtime and am, then only at am, and for the last weeks she only got drops then last week nothing but she kept still wanting to latch on so I let her. Didn't see any point in refusing it and knew it wouldn't last anyway. Then she lost interest when there wasn't anything and it's been a couple of weeks now since she latched on at all. I really waned to get to two years at least, but I suppose we were only 2.5 mos short of that and I should be happy that we could BF for as long as we did. One bonus is that she's now finally STTN. Woke for a drink of water at night instead of the milk she used to have, and at the beginning she was having 6-7oz in one night :o She's now dropped that to the occasional sip of water if she wakes, but she takes care of it by herself so I do get much better sleep now. PG nausea got a lot worse when we stopped though, no idea if this was related or not...
I will still pop in every now and then to support other extended nursing mothers, so won't be gone forever, plus I'll hopefully be back with another nursing toddler when the new baby gets to one year old :)
Hugs to you all and happy nursing!! :-*
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Well done. That is fantastic. At least you wont have to wean when there is a new baby around. You could always pump and give her some when the baby is born. So proud of you.
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Yes you should be very proud Vicku. And I just saw you're due on Valentine's day. How romantic.
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You have done great Vicku to get to 21.5 months and I think it is great that Sienna self weaned cause now you don't have to do it for her. It is much more natural and probably easier for both of you. Good luck on the rest of the pregnancy.
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Aw thank you so much girls :D
Yes KM, I was planning on trying her on pumped milk once baby is here, she doesn't like cow's milk or any other milk I've tried.
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Hey guys! I'm new to the BW forums and plan to start EASY soon... but I'm concerned it will mess with my milk supply.
DD is 9 months old and we're EBF with some solids.
I'm here because her sleeping is terrible! We've been nursing to sleep for months (naps and night) and she wakes anywhere from 3-7 (yes, 7) times a night because she needs help falling back to sleep.
I'm very ANTI-CIO and need another alternative and am looking for a way to use the EASY ideas of ordering her eat/activity/sleep times and also finding some ways to get her to sleep without nursing. However, because I plan to nurse up to (or beyond!) two years, I don't want to mess with my milk supply and not feed her when she needs it.
Any suggestions on how to get her to sleep better? Are we too old for PU/PD? What kind of routines do you guys follow for your children? Any suggestions for a demand-feed/EASY combination routine? Any pointers?! Thanks!!
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I have been wanting to come on this thread - DS is 19.5 months old and is still nursing. I offer it three times a day (morning, before nap and at BT). DS usually ask for it at least once or twice more. When he's teething it's like he's on once an hour! Thankfully he only has 4 more to go.
Sometimes I feel like he will NEVER self-wean. I work from home so it's not a big deal to BF him but I don't really like the 6+ feeds a day! Granted that's not every day.
Any of you BFing moms out there still BFing this often (3+ times a day?)
DD self-weaned at 16 months so this is new to me!
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hey ladies.
i haven't been aound the BW site latly at all but felt this is worse a share and a quik hello.
DD is just over 15m now and i think i can safly say we are done BF.
it happened very graduly and for the past month we only did a BT feed. it wasn't easy as i felt as i was ready to stop but wasn't sure if she was and on the other hand i was afraid to lose this special bonding of ours and this amazing conection. fainaly i stoped offering the night cap and for the past five days she hasent asked.
i am both happy, sad and scared.
now tell me ladies, when does the milk dry???
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Hi ladies,
Well I guess I am an extended nurser! Zac is almost 13 months and I am BF him 2 X a day (he has a bottle after breakfast and I top him up before his nap as he wakes hungry otherwise - he naps one long lunchtime nap) then I am feeding him as part of his BT routine.
I am hoping to wean the one before his nap soon once he is eating a bit more at lunch, he tends to graze during the day after a good breakfast.
Anyway Z seems to quite like BF...I don't think he will ever self wean! ::)
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Haven't been on here for a while but just wanted to reply to the latest posts.
TeacherMamaTN: Welcome to BW but you might have figured out already that this is the wrong thread for your questions. This thread is only for LOs older than 1 year who are still breastfeeding. So, if you haven't done so yet, I would pop over to the sleep section of this forum and post your questions in either the prop forum or the PUPD forum. And no, your LO isn't too old for PUPD yet but you will need to adjust it to her age. You will find a lot of info in that forum.
Mama2C: I think if you feel uncomfortable to feed that often you will have to put your foot down and reduce the number of feeds. At this age they really don't need that often breastfeeds and I have a feeling that he uses your breast as his soother. Which is fine if you are happy about it, but eventually he will have to learn to self-sooth, still with your help but without your breast. So I would try to stick to the 3 times a day and cuddle a lot or giving him other attention when he needs it. With the teething you will have to judge if you can distract him somehow differently or, if you are comfortable with it, give him some medication to reduce the pain. There are LOs, including mine, that just love the soothing effect of BF so much that they will not self-wean for a long time and feed a lot during the day if you let them.
yaely jelly belly: Sorry, no advise for you as I haven't been there yet. Maybe pop over to the weaning thread.
Anyway Z seems to quite like BF...I don't think he will ever self wean!
Same here, no end in sight. :D We didn't wean the nap feed until he was 2 years old.
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Hi all, i guess i now qualify on this thread. DS has MSPI so I am still nursing but am back at work. i tried expressing and only got an once at lunch time. When I am home 3 days a week he takes morning, before nap, before dinner and before bed and once more at night so 5 feeds. But when I am away he does morning, on pick up, before bed and once at night, so 4 feeds. he gets 3 oz of formula in porridge and just recently started taking formula when I am away 3 oz. Is it enough milk? So it is either 3+3oz +4 BFs or 3oz +5BFs. He weighs about 8.24kg as of 2 weeks ago.
Also is my DH right that I should stop BF? I think of it as good for him but DH this it is bad for sleeping and gives a dependency.
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If you're DS is 12mo+ then that sounds like enough milk. At 12mo we moved from 4 to 3 BFs. My DS was on dairy solids as well though. Does your DS get any other calcium from solids. The WHO recommend 4 BFs at 10mo and to continue BFing until 2yo. BFing isn't bad for sleep but feeding to sleep can mean they want a BF every time they wake. I would break the feed to sleep habit by teaching him independent sleep rather thaw stopping BFing though.
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Also is my DH right that I should stop BF? I think of it as good for him but DH this it is bad for sleeping and gives a dependency.
As Ali said it is only a dependency when you feed to sleep. It isnt the BF or Bottle feeding that is causing it, but the association with sleep.
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Thanks for that guys! Better peace of mind knowing the milk quantity is enough. DS is either teething or something is up. He is not eating well his solids and his poo today was something huge and stinky. so I am guessing it is teeth. As for calcium, Hmm, he may get it from veg, lentils and bread, grains, rice, not sure. I try and give fish and eggs as wel, but varied success on that. Especially these last few weeks of nursery and teething. As for feeding to sleep, he is not really sleeping on the breast. Actually I ask DH to take him to his cot after his feed because if I do it he will keep looking for milk and fussing whereas with DH he will start to loll himself to sleep. and he falls asleep by himself at nap and night time most times. So it is not feeding to sleep, as such. I think it maybe because we had to try this formula since October called Nutramigen and he took a long time getting used to it and being away from me. not BFing. So I think he is trying to compensate during the night. You can also see why DH is not amused. Apparently on some nights to give me a break DH picked the boy up, gave him a formula bottle and DS drank it all (3oz) and went to sleep.
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Of course it's up to you but personally I would actively wean the NFs and just get him back to sleep without a feed. He should easily be able to go 12hrs or so overnight without a feed at this age. It is just habit that he looks for milk when he wakes before he goes back to sleep especially if he is only taking 3ozs. When my DS1 was 12.5mo we actually weaned a NF (BF) that resurfaced after a chest infection at 11mo. I used a combination of PD and WIWO. DH did most of it since like you say with mama they look for milk. There was crying but after a week he was STTN with no NWs 99.9% of the time. He hasn't had a NF in 2011. We are still feeding in the mornings and at BT these days and he's 23mo. I'm taking it in my stride as it doesn't look like he'll wean those feeds any time soon but who knows. I'll see how I feel over the Christmas period when DH'll be off work for a couple weeks and see if I feel I would like to wean him completely.
It might also be worth considering (if you want to continue BFing of course) that extended BFing offers the following benefits.
1 year:
For baby - three times less risk of becoming obese by age six and a lower risk of heart disease as an adult.
For mother - no need to by formula milk at all saving at least £450 this year.
2 years:
For baby - likely to have higher average scores in intelligence tests.
For mother - expect fewer visits to orthodontist when baby is a teenager. Risk of breast cancer reduced by 8%.
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=124914.0
Plus of course he is getting all those good antibodies from you.
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Manueli - sorry for the late reply! DS is now down to only 3x a day. I do a lot of cuddling/distracting when he asked for it at other times. He has gotten a lot better these days! I still really like BFing and am happy with the 3x...no more! He hasn't had an actual soother since about 15 months so you're probably right that the breast was his soother. He still likes to get drowsy on it before sleeps but falls asleep in his own bed.
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I've been meaning to join this conversation for a while! Ds1 is 20 months and Ds2 is 7mos. I'm tandem nursing. I pump for Ds1 and he also nurses in the evening for his wind down. Extended/tandem nursing has been one of the best choices I've made for our family. :D Looking forward to chatting with you all. :)
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Hi ladies, I have a question for you all if that is okay?
We are going through a bit of drama at BT ATM and my DS seems to want to BF on and off and on and off once he has really finished and realises it is BT. I am not sure if he is using it because he doesn't want to go to sleep, or something else? He also has randomly started to pull my top down at tiems he hasn't been BF in AGES like 4pm or so ::) I offer food or water and he isnt really interested ???
Have any of you been through this around this age? If so what did you do? Did it come right? He is 14.5 months old and gets a morning and evening feed. (I feed him at NW when ill and teething and I have to admit he has been poorly so I suspect this is becoming a habit ATM, I have to wait for after our week away to tackle this)
TIA :-*
PS...I am really wanting to start weaning too...but he loves his BF
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Firstly welcome tigerlilly, sorry I missed you joining. It has been quiet since then.
Sara, we got this around a year and still do a bit. Does he go straight to bed after the feed or have another stage to the wind down? I found having something else after like brush teeth, read story, use the toilet etc meant it wasn't so much a case of well bf is finished so into bed. Then we had a rule that once he's brushed his teeth he can only have water. I also tell him sometimes that next time he gets off it's the end of the feed so it's his last chance. And don't allow any running around or playing and then coming back to it. Hth.
Cadan turned 2yo this month and is still nursing strong morning and at bt, never any other time. He's started asking after his nap some days but we dropped that at least 9 months ago. Wouldn't mind him self weaning now tbh.
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Thanks Ali :-*
I have started talking to Zac about BF a lot more, and I suspect the wanting to nurse at odd times may be due to a bit of SA? H seems to want it when we are out with relatives places...
Thank you for your thoughts on the BT BF. I think we need to move it as you say. I thought telling Zac Its time for your feed then twinkle twinkle and BT would help,but now I think he is refusing BT and this is his excuse to not go to bed!
It's overhaul time after our week away (starting to,orrow) so DH will make a plan that includes moving that feed to before brushing teeth and story maybe.
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I have started talking to Zac about BF a lot more, and I suspect the wanting to nurse at odd times may be due to a bit of SA? H seems to want it when we are out with relatives places...
This is what I was thinking. He could be going through some SA.. even at BT as well. Also, what's his teething situation like? Does he have his molars yet? I think it was around that age that Ds1 was getting his molars and he was suuuper sensitive at BT. He might just need the extra comfort right now?
DS1 gets expressed BM before nap, and nurses before bed. He'll also randomly nurse throughout the day if he asks, it just depends. If I'm wearing a low cut top he always asks more ::) :P I also always have expressed BM in the fridge for him so there's the option for him to have it in a cup. (but of course he'd much rather have his boobies :P)
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Thanks hun, I think your right. Tonight it seemed much more SA like behavior, and during the day he is very clingy with me, not wanting anyone else and sporadically needing cuddles and kisses.
He doesn't have any molars, tooth #8 cut. He only has his top and bottom 4 incisors. He is very sensitive to teeth though, and his reflux flares when he teethes which doesn't help.
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Anyone else is having sore breasts from teething babies? I went to put teething gel on and found not one tooth but 3! 2 top incisors and 1 molar. No wonder he does not like one side. Grrrr....
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I got a few bites but nothing major...hope your not getting chaffed or too sore...Lansinoh?
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I resort to bonjela before feeds. Unfortunately we get NWs now but it will pass, I figure.
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I'm only remembering about this thread! And Rosa is 15 months in a few days so I guess I am an extended nurser!
Are you guys intending to feed until your LOs self wean? With M at this age she was down to 2 feeds, am and bedtime. But R would ask about a million times a day for milk. She's sick and teething too at the minute and having NFs and I feel like I have a newborn again! I guess with her I don't see an end in sight at all! I am happy to keep going for a while though but just wondered what your thoughts were on how long you will BF for?
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I'm hoping M will self wean but due to milk allergy I am kind of worried how he would be on Nutramigen alone. At the moment I have to be dairy free as well, so is a tad annoying, but there's something nice about closeness of BF that makes it worth it. Plus it calms him down really well. NFs are a nightmare though.
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Shiv your R sounds a bit like my Z I doubt he will wean himself, and is asking more for it. I am guilty of feeding still at NW...he gets sick or teething and it starts, them we have to retrain ::) when we get back from hol Z routine is getting a revamp! ;)
ATM he has a morning and BT BF and a bottle before his nap (like 30 mins before) but going to merge morning and nap feed to 1 bottle as its affecting his solids I think.
Kate, I totally live the closeness...but I know for us anyway the NF are becoming a problem. Grrr
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I was planning to wait for Cadan to self wean but he's just turned 2 and showing little sign of weaning so I may start encouraging him. We only have the morning and bt feeds. He readily accepts a refusal for requests at other times.
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I thought I would wait for K to wean but ended up actively weaning because it was becoming a major source of frustration for him (and me!). I plan to wait until 2 yo and if there is no sign of self wean with B I will actively do it I imagine.
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KM and Ali, I suspect Z will be the same, if anything he wants it more ::) he is still pretty young really, but as you say KM the frustration is starting to get to me and him. Plus it's becoming a prop to easily at NW when he is sickle or cutting a tooth. Tis isn't a problem in itself, but afterwards it's a nightmare to get rid off now he is more knowing. I think after this trip away we are going to do a bit of a shake up. I do want to keep the BT BF but I may yet see if it would work for a few months doing 1 night BF 1 night bottle (DH could do) for a while so I get some nights off :D
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I *plan* on having Ds1 self wean, but I really don't think that will happen anytime soon... especially since I"m tandem feeding and he sees the boob out all the time :P Honestly though, I'm fine with it. If the boys are happy, I'm happy. I can't deny the health benefits... and those continue on even past the first 2 years :)
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My DS started to feed only twice now. Is that normal? He has formula at lunch some days but not some otehr days. Just a week ago he was feeding non-stop though. Now only two feeds. Will my milk disappear? Am worried slightly.
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That is fine Kate. Your supply will just balance out to those two feeds. We also moved to two feeds around 14mo. Is he having calcium in his food like dairy and leafy veg?
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Ali, thanks! No, he does not. However he has a big porridge every day with formula and I try and give him apricots, fish when i can, beans, lentils, broccoli, eggs, etc. He loves hoummus, so I figure it counts as it has both chicpeas and sesame seeds. he is dairy and soy allergic so I don't give him cheese but special Nutramigen formula. We are off to his asthma clinic tomorrow so they will check how he is doing for weight and allergies.
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Hi ladies, we are down to 1 feed now at BT and have moved it before Z has his story. We are moving it to GeForce his bath/ teeth brushing soon but I'm not sure how to make the switch? He has always habit before bed and he loves this time with me (and the milk no doubt) how did you ladies move the feed forward...?
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I guess I can join this thread now that F is just over one!
We dropped from four to three feeds a couple of weeks ago (on a don't offer, don't refuse basis) and were doing great for about ten days...but have had a hellish teething week this week so we're right back up there with at least four day feeds and 2-3 NFs. F has been running a fever so I kind of like to get the milk into her to bring that down, but I'm starting to find it pretty draining, tbh :(
She's sick and teething too at the minute and having NFs and I feel like I have a newborn again! I guess with her I don't see an end in sight at all!
This is exactly how I feel. I'd been looking forward to that bit more independence of only three feeds, and now it feels like she just wants to feed all day (and night) long :( I know this week it's mostly teething and that'll pass, but I also know with the next teeth it'll be the same, and I guess I just don't know how to deal with her only wanting that particular form of comfort, which she probably will so long as I'm still feeding at all :-\
This is all sounding a bit negative....oops. It's been a tough week. Mostly I love love love feeding F and our special time together. Just wishing at the moment it were a little less frequent, yk? Another factor here is that I still haven't had AF since F was born, and now that I'd slowly like to be thinking about #2 that's starting to be an issue! I definitely don't want to wean F completely yet, I'd love to carry on BFing a couple of times a day for a while yet, for both the closeness and the health benefits...I guess I just wish she'd self-wean down to that! ;)
Sara, we recently shifted BT feed to before bath, and we just did it - it was fine. So it used to be bath, teeth, BF, prayers and story, bed; and now the BF comes first. For the first few days, I disappeared after the feed and DH took over BT routine entirely from then on (he would often do most of it anyway, and I just did the feed - so in that respect it wasn't a huge change). No complaints! This week I have fed just before bed a couple of time, but as soon as these jolly teeth are through we're planning to make feed before bath the norm again.
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Thanks Nuala, getting Dhto take over is a good idea, this usually works for us with NW after we have illness and NF...
Re the NF ladies, we had x 2 around 13 mths with developmental/teething etc I felt I was never going to rid them, but once Z was well after a few nights of WI/WO (DH) he was fine. Itwas our last resort but he is so much older now that GW or just not feeding wasn't working ::)
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Nuala, I can definitely recommend weaning the NFs. We weaned our last nf at 12.5mo with pd and wo by dh and it took a week. Is she an independent sleeper otherwise? I bet AF would come back if you weaned the NFs. Going long periods without feeding is the main signal to your body for AF to return. Oh and welcome and well done on BFing so long.
We're still BFing at bt but I'm ready to be done tbh. Just weaned the morning BF this week and working on the bt one with a little help from the ladies over on the weaning thread.
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Oh, she doesn't usually feed during the night - just while she's teething, sick etc. We've just had a run of that recently and it feels like it's been forever, but really just a few weeks. She's coming right again now though, only 1 NW for the past two nights and back to three day feeds yesterday...so I'm starting to see the light again :)
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Guys, has anygone ever thought that by nursing it makes the child dependent? DH thinks that DS is so dependent on me because I am still nursing. I think it is just a phase.
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I personally think if anything it would create more security in a child but that's just my opinion. Yes it creates a strong bond, but if your L is displaying SA type behavior from you, it is likely just that - SA ;)
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Personally, I believe security breads independence. So if your child feels secure, loved and has all of his/her needs met, they will blossom into the beautiful little person they are. IMO, nursing (including extended nursing) actually breads independence because you are fulfilling a need that child has, thus they will feel more confident in knowing that their need is being met, kwim? By extended nursing, I personally feel like I’m fulfilling an emotional need for Ds1 rather than merely a physical want.
Here's a great Mommy blog I follow with some interesting posts on extended nursing: http://www.mommypotamus.com/extended-breastfeeding-myth-1/ This is part one in a 4 part series... the additional links are at the bottom of the first article.
This is what I found particularily interesting on the global perspective of extended nursing: "What I can tell you is that the American tendency to wean early is the exception, not the rule. The worldwide average for weaning is 4 years and 2 months of age. If you think about how uncommon extended breastfeeding is in the U.S. and some other westernized nations, consider how old children must be breastfeeding in other parts of the world to drive the average up that high.
Still think mothers that practice extended breastfeeding are weirdos?
•The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding well into and beyond the second year old life. This is a conservative organization which is saying two years is the minimum we should breastfeed for, NOT the maximum!
•The American Academy of Family Physicians (yet another very conservative organization) states that weaning a child before two years of age leads to an increase in illness"
I'm so proud to be an extended/tandem nursing Mama, and I think you ladies should be too!! :-* Hold your head high and keep those boobies out! ;) lol!
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Kate, our babies are just that, babies. And babies are very dependent little creatures. Any variation in that is, IMO more due to temperament than nursing. I watched my niece and nephew, both 1.5 at Christmastime (born within a few days of each other). Peter is super dependent, always wanting to be held and be right next to his mom. Claire is an independent little thing, only rarely checks on for security. I think it's just a natural variation.
Papaya, AF came back when dd1 was down to 2 feeds and I promptly got pg with dd2. :)
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Thanks, ladies! I think a lot of it is for comfort, plus in all honesty his Nutramigen formula tastes yuck, so I would have preferred real milk too in his place. Feel a bit unsupported though, as DH thinks I should wean, and so does the health visitor. DS has a few allergies so I have been cutting foods from my plate, which is a bother. So no eggs, no dairy, no soy, no peanut butter... All the things I love to eat. I manage, however am getting my bloodcount tested for all the immunity markers, as I typically don't eat meat and with so many exclusions the diet is a bit limiited.
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I'm surprised HV is pressuring you to wean:( its common knowledge now that BM is recommended for LOs for the first two year if LO and mum want to...that came out wrong...really I'm just surprised she thinks you 'should' wean
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((hugs)) I understand where you're coming from, Katyusha. I'm also on an ED due to food intolerances in the boys. If it's any comfort, I have read that extended nursing also promotes less allergic responses over time, but of course that depends on each individual child.
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Your ds would be dependent on you to provide him with any food or drink anyway. It's not like he'd be heading to the cupboard to make up his own formula.
Unfortunately I find hvs often aren't up to date with best practice and base their advice on their own opinion. What reason did the hv give for saying you should wean? If I were you I'd ask why she is giving advice that is in opposition to who and UK guidance. I'm betting she wouldn't have a valid answer.
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Hi all, just thought I'd pop in and join you all since we're now officially "extended nursing". Never done this before, so all new!
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Hi! I only just realised I am extended nurser too! 2-3 feeds per day right now and she is showing no signs of stopping! :P
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Welcome Amanda and Nicola. We were also on 2-3 feeds at 14mo.
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Welcome ladies. Are you planning on waiting for your LOs to self wean or working towards a certain goal age?
We are still feeding at BT although I am pretty ready to be done now. I have moved the BF to before the BT routine which DH always does. It has worked to shorten it and now it is normally under 10 minutes whereas it had crept up to 30 mins some nights due to stalling for BT. I have posted over on the weaning support thread and since managed to cut out the morning BF we had been doing up til a couple weeks ago.
Is anyone else on here still BFing post-2yo?
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No, we are sill only 16 months. DD selfweaned at 13 months but she had cow's milk. DS has nutramigen and he takes it but not much. On a work day we do am feed, pm feed split into before and after bath and sometimes a night feed. It seems to correlate with health (teething, colds, etc. may increase the feeds). I was hoping he would self wean but will consult a dietician about our options. I don't mind mind it as is.
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Hoping to self-wean, but will see how it goes. On 3-4 BF a day (6-6.30am, 10-11am, 2-3pm, 6pm, although the 2nd and 3rd don't necessarily always happen).
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Hi, last week I missed one night feed and another night I got there but DH gave him a bottle as well. Will my ilkk supply be permanently affected? i'm back to nursing and I am not ready to wean...
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No i don't think one missed feed will make a difference. I used to miss a BT feed now and then if I was out even when we were only doing morning and BT and my supply never suffered.
Ladies, I may have to leave this thread since I think we are weaning at 26mo!!! I haven't fed Cadan in the morning for over 3 weeks now and he didn't take a BT BF today or last night either. I am sad but ready. I hope to feed Colby who is currently 6mo and EBF for as long as he'll have me up until around 2yo I think so I hope to be back in 6mo. Anyway I'll be around for support and advice since I don't see this thread getting to 30 pages any time soon. ;)
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Many thanks and biggest congratulatory hugs!!! I know it is a sad feeling to be rejected and a sign that they are moving on, but happily there are so many other ways they need us. ;)
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Thanks Kate. I think he would have fed if I offered but I have been trying to wean him gently and not offered the last two nights and he has been distractible.
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Nice job Ali! I know that's what you were aiming for. Sounds nice and gentle. :)
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Good job, Ali! Well done for keeping going! :)
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Congrats on many levels Ali! :) Your boys are so fortunate to have a mama so dedicated to Bf'ing!! See you in a few months when you're back with Colby. :-*
We're on our way to passing the 2 yr nursing mark for Ds1.. he'll be 2 next month. No signs of stopping here :)
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:D Ali :-* Great way to end BF with a gentle wean.
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Ladies I have a question for you. For those of you who were still BF LO1 when LO2 is born, what happens with your milk? Does it still come in as such? Does your LO2 get colostrum? Wasn't sure where to post but figured anyone who would know may be on here ;)
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Have you seen the pg and bf sticky on here. Think that has some good info somewhere too. Yes the milk comes in still or at least mine did. The body just keeps making colostrum in later pg until the hormones change after birth so yes dc2 will get colostrum.
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http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=183860.0
Anything we should know???
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Haha KM you must have missed my thread in P&C I'm 5 weeks pregnant ;) :D - and a little scared smiley too to go with it. Thanks for the link hun
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I missed it! Congrats.
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thanks :-* :)
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I'm new to this thread and looking for any advice.
Have any of you extended nurses had trouble getting your LO to drink anything else? My sweet stubborn DS is 15mo and refuses to drink any water or milk. He stopped drinking EBM from a bottle at 5mo. Since then, he only BF. We've tried introducing sippy cups and straw cups, but he hasn't taken to any of them. I think the cup is the issue, since we have offered EBM in a cup and he still refuses. He just loves the comfort of the boob. He still BF 4 times a day, since I'm worried about dehydration. However, I will be returning to work in a couple months and would like to get down to just morning and BT BF. If I gradually wean the daytime feeds (don't offer, don't refuse), do you think he'll get thirsty enough to accept other liquids in a cup?
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I reckon, it is easier to not mess with the BF feeds but start the cup with water or juice consistently at mealtimes and make it fun but not stressful. BTDT. Stress was def. bad and needed patience. It took M about a month to get the cup, and then formula was slow, but now he takes 4 oz no plroblem, even if not from me. (i dud not persevere, now have not tried, he probably would now). One thing I recall was don't put expressed milk in a cup, because it is worth its weight in gold so can't be relaxed enough watching a baby spill it everywhere or chuck the cup.
Best of luck!
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We've tried introducing sippy cups and straw cups, but he hasn't taken to any of them. I think the cup is the issue, since we have offered EBM in a cup and he still refuses.
I totally agree with Kate..I just consistantly offered a suppy from ~7 months old and by 10 months Z was drinking a ton of water from sippy's and straw cups..it takes time, but they do get it eventually. I too have never offered EBM in a cup to be honest and I dont think I will. He drinks a ton of water now all through the day though so it does eventually work.
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I consistently offered a cup with solids but it was only at 13mo that K started drinking when I returned to work. If I wasn't there he just accepted it.
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Hi, wondered if anyone has any thoughts or ideas that could help me. My 12month dd has started refusing feeds, i feed her am and pm and she refused her pm feed the day before yesterday, i put it down to her having a big dinner. But she is still refusing. She did not want a feed yesterday pm and this morning she fed very happily on one side but then refused the other and became really upset about it. I don't get it :-\
This is unusual for Fae, she has never refused feeds before, and she is getting extremely upset, and cross and agitated when i offer it and she doesn't want it. It is awful. :'( She maybe teething but this hasn't happened before :-\
Any ideas? It is usually such a special time of day of our day but now i seem to be upsetting her :'(
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Hi - I'm mommy to DD, 20 months old, who is still BF. She was exclusively BF, then transitioned to whole milk easily. Nurses 2x daily (morning & bedtime). My question is concerning weaning - about a week ago, she started skipping the night time session on her own....but at the same time, she started waking 2-3x during the night, screaming. Could this be related? As soon as we check on her & pick her up (or pat her) she's back to sleep. Usually, she slept through the night and, if not, only needed a quick pat. She never woke screaming regardless. She is teething (canines) but that never resulted in screaming previously. Just wondered if this new series of night waking could be related to weaning. She is definitely going through developmental phases...started putting 4-5 words together, etc. Any input will be greatly appreciated!
Jolie
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Jolie, I doubt it is down to weaning if she is choosing to skip it on her own. I think it is more likely something like teething is causing the refusal and the nws. It could be that suckling is uncomfortable due to her teeth cutting and that is why she isn't keen to nurse. The teeth could be the issue with the nws as well. My ds1 teethed easily until his canines then woke 5 nights in a week when he cut thosedevelopmental leaps can definitely cause nws too so you may just have to ride it out.
Kirsty personally I would keep offering if you don't want her to.wean but let her refuse as if you don't mind if that is what she wants. My ds1 went through stages of refusing for a week here and there but he came back to it. If your happy for her to wean though this may be a nice gentle way to do it.
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Thanks Ali, that's reassuring :D I'm not happy for her to wean just yet, thought i had a few months to go. Will stick with it.
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Agree with Ali for both pp. We teethed easily until the canine pain train.
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Thanks KM.
Well, she fed on one side yesterday morning very happily but refused and got very upset yesterday pm. I tried a df which was a disaster. She again became upset and then it took 30 mins to settle her back down.
And this morning, for the first time ever, she refused to feed completely :'( :'( She just got upset as soon as i moved her towards me :'(
So i hand expressed in the shower but have no idea if it's enough or if she'll ever come back to it. Really don't want this to be it. My 3 older ones all dropped to one feed first and stopping was gradual. This is awful :'(
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I was able to go a whole weekend without feeding and my supply ok at that age. The stimulation is most important. She may come back to it. Have you given pain meds? Any chance you could be pg or Ad on her way? Sometimes that affects taste and supply.
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Not pregnant and AF was last week :-\ I gave pan meds yesterday eve but they did not seem to make a difference.
Good to hear that you were okay after a whole weekend, thanks :)
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Thanks for the info Ali :) Brinn slept through the night on 2/22, but then woke every 2 hrs last night. However, she started running low grade fever so I think last night was due to illness. With little ones, it's one thing after another! LOL. A little sleep deprivation never killed anybody. She's pretty happy otherwise....with the exception of being overly clingy to me for the last 2 weeks. Even if my husband entertains her, she'll become upset if I leave the room. I think my little girl is just hurdling the next stage of development. I hope, anyway!
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The pp whose babies had nursing strikes, did you give an alternative to breast milk? Fae has water and smoothie during the day but i have not replaced the missed bf with anything (apart from water). She has not had a bf for 2 full days now, am wondering if i should give her cow's milk. I don't want to because i want her to bf again.
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Well after 12 months milk isn't really a necessity anymore as such so she could just be self weaning a bit ??? Babies do need a level of milk solids though but i cant remember how much and it can be given in the form of food ie cheese, yogourt, or cows milk/smoothies etc. does she reject when you offer? We just kept the BT feed as Z isn't interested during the day maybe try in the evening?
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I didn't really have strike (the weekend was they I had to go away) so we did offer something in its place. As Sara says though they don't need milk per se at this age so if you want to encourage the BF I would not offer another milk drink. Rather make sure you include yogurt or cheese or green leafy veg etc to maintain the calcium level in the diet. I think it is 3 portions of dairy at this age that they need for calcium requirements.
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thanks for the info. She refused again today :'( :'( I have been hand expressing and she has been drinking that. I'm only getting a tiny bit but it's better than throwing it away.
I'm starting to feel so sad now, it doesn't seem like she is going to start again. It just feels wrong that she has stopped so suddenly and abruptly, i expected her to wean gradually like her sister and brothers did. Will stick at it for a bit longer but it's starting to feel hopeless :(
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Hugs, they are all different Hun, and it's not a reflection of you or your milk, it's just some kids stop being interested. I had a friend who's LO self weaned at 9 months, she would not feed, and prior to this loved BF. eventually she gave in and LO got a few bottles. But bang on 12 months the kid refused all milk. ::)
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My DD self-weaned from breast to cow milk but it was somewahe gradual (1 month). With DS I had breast refusals and the HV suggested that it couldbe due to teething if onesided (or something else bothering baby on one side). So to feed on the non-preferred side transfer the baby like a rugby ball so they still face the same way. It helped me. Is the room quiet, dark, no stimulation? Is there anything else to explain it? I wonder due to the suddenness of it if it is to do with teeth, or ears or some other mouth problems? How is her diet otherwise? If it all makes no sense and you are worried could you take her to GP?
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well, it looks like we are done :'( :'( :'(
I have really tried everything :(
I was hopeful because i offered a bf this afternoon, she was sitting up and started playing, 'tasting' milk if i squirted it! It didn't convince her to latch on though, she just is not interested and if i lay her down to do it she just screams. She hasn't taken a bf since last Thurs morning so i guess i have to give up some time. ??? It's a sad day :'( Part of me thinks i should keep trying but.. :-\
I needed the weaning process more than her! I stopped bf my 3 older ones at about this age but i had envisaged feeding Fae for quite a bit longer as she had given no signs of wanting to stop. ::) I wish i had had some idea that she was going to stop so abruptly, i would have relished those last few feeds iykwim :'(
It's a sad day :'(
Thank you for the advice and support xx
Suppose i could go and do some bra shopping... :-\
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I wish i had had some idea that she was going to stop so abruptly, i would have relished those last few feeds iykwim
I know exactly what you mean Kirsty. I felt like that even though I was encouraging him to wean and was so ready to stop. I still wish I had known that my last feed would be the very last yk? And I am still BFing DS2 so still have a baby BFing and still I felt the loss.
Big hugs hun. You have given her such a fab start to life. Well done. And yes go and do some bra shopping!! :D
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HUGS :-*
and yes
Suppose i could go and do some bra shopping...
Great idea! :)
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Hi everybody,
My 20 mo old DD started self weaning recently (from 2 down to 1 feed a day)...then quickly went for a week without BM. But even though she initiated, she is now EXTREMELY clingy to me, throwing tantrums, etc....shows separation anxiety if I leave the room! I feel awful as I'm not sure how to make her feel better. I'm offering tons of extra cuddles and activities, which works at the moment....but she is still adjusting, I guess. She won't even allow my husband to put her to bed...she cries for me :(
Because she self weaned, it was a little abrupt...so I'm feeling it, too. sigh***
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Is it possible she wasn't weaning but it was a nursing strike for some reason or another? I've read on kellymom.com and self-weaning is rarely abrupt. Just pondering....
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What do you do for nursing strike?
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Have a look at this -> http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=89418.0 - there are loads of good ideas there :)
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Fellow nursing mums please advice. I want to go away for 4-5 days in mid April by myself without kids to see extended family. My worry is whether that will be the end of breastfeeding. Has anyone done such a long absence? Any advice?
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I did Friday to Monday at 15mo and it was fine. I pumped 2x daily for stimulation even though I got nothing. I was pg at the time too so my supply wasn't great. K wanted to bf as soon as I got home but he has always been a boob monster. Are you worried about supply or self wean?
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Both! M is really happy to feed at the moment but I need to see grandparents and it is my lucky chance with DH taking a week off. Really don't want to give up yet!
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I was worried too but it was ok.
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If you can pump it will hopefully keep the supply as it is the stimulation that keeps hormones.
I also remembered I was in hospital for 9days after ds2 and ds1 still went right back to bf ok.
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Ok, that sounds promissing! Thank you so much for putting my mind at peace.
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Hi, I'm new to this thread and have a couple of questions about missing feeds/pumping.
DS currently just has a bf when he wakes in the morning, and then at BT, although I'll offer another 1/2 during the day if he's ill (especially upset stomach) and not eating/drinking much. From time to time, if I've had to miss the BT feed for whatever reason, I've pumped on my return home, and kept that in the freezer ready for the next time I miss one. However, I'm finding that I just can't pump very much any more, and I'm not sure if it's a supply issue or just that I struggle to get let-down with the pump? I used to be able to pump a full feed, but now I can only seem to get let-down if I'm simultaneously bf-ing DS from the other side, and even then I can't get more than 1oz at a time.
I now have a new weekly commitment which will mean missing the BT feed, so I'm wondering if it's still worth pumping for stimulation on those nights, even if I'm not getting anything? For those nights, I'm having to pump on 3-4 mornings a week (with DS's help!) to put in the cup which DH gives him at BT. He's not a fan of cow's milk and has never had formula so I don't see the point in offering that instead. So he only gets 3-4oz from the cup, but doesn't seem to need/want any more, so I'm assuming that's about the amount he's getting from me nowadays? But if I'm not pumping on those nights, will that affect my supply?
Also, I'm thinking of weaning the morning feed at some time before he turns 2, (only because at the moment there's not enough time for him to have that bf and a proper breakfast before going to his childminder 3 days per week, and we can't get him up any earlier because then his nap would be too late), so that would just leave the BT feed. I don't think I'd be able to pump at the BT feed as he's just too distracted by the pump and he needs to wind down and relax at that time! So then if I'm not pumping in the morning then I won't have any milk for him in the evening if I have to miss BT... And, on those nights, it could be 48h between feeds, iyswim? Would you suggest that I pump for stimulation on those nights, even if I still get nothing? I'm just hoping that by that time, he'll be happy with a BT snack/water/cow's milk, when I'm not around...
Also, a bit unconnected, but has anyone else experienced migraines around the start of your cycles for a few months after dropping feeds? That was my mum's theory for why I had a few after dropping the last daytime feed, is that quite common?
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I suspect that for that one day a week it probably won't be a problem.
And I've noticed I've been getting more headaches recently, but had put it down to not drinking enough water during the day recently.
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I am not in your exact situation as DS can take formula from DH, just not from me. And not always. However on the few nights in these last 2 weeks that I have missed the BT feed M ended up:
If he took the formula cup - sleeping STTN; or
If he took nothing- sort of waking up around 11 pm and getting a feed that way or he had a really full feed in the morning.
I am still worried about leaving M for 5 nights in 2 weeks time. I no longer have a pump having broke every single one in the last few years. (even the manual pump - I left spare parts in the steriliser and forgot about it for a month and it all got mould! Horrible!)
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Could you possibly go in and dreamfeed him when you do go home? That would do nothing but help keep your supply going. :)
Many women can't letdown for the pump. I find my pumping varies depending on my cycle. When it's close to AF time, I seem to pump less, so for me, it comes down to hormones. Are you by chance on any sort of hormonal contraceptives? I know of a few people who, for whatever reason, couldn't seem to pump very much once they started back on hormonal contraceptives.
I would still suggest trying to pump when you can to keep up the nipple stimulation. Have you looked into herbal galactagogues? Things like fenugreek can help with supply.
I can't say that I've had migranes, but I'm also tandem nursing a younger nursling, so my situation is quite different.
On that note, I figured out today we've been Bf'ing 748 days for Ds1, and tandem nursing Ds1 + Ds2 for 350 days! Woohoo!! I almost have 2 boys in the extended nursing club! Both are still going strong and showing no signs of weaning yet. :)
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The migraines could be hormonal if you find they're related to your cycle. You might also look at other triggers at that time and try to avoid them (smells, food, drinking less, etc) or be proactive -- with migraines I find that if I catch them early and try some caffeine and ibuprofen they don't get as bad as they might.
Nice work Rebecca!
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Thanks for all your advice! Ok I guess I'll probably pump when I get home unless I'm too tired... or maybe try dreamfeeding again, but I'm a little hesitant to do this as he's not been sleeping so well at night recently (2-1 + 18mo + clock change etc...) so I don't want to risk him not being able to settle again afterwards! And if we do end up weaning the morning feed at some point then I guess I can still offer one if we missed the previous evening? I'm not pushing that any time soon though...
Interesting question about supply - as I said I've no idea really how much he's getting, I certainly wasn't able to pump anything when I tried in the first few weeks (before going back on the mini-pill at around 6 weeks), so I know that pump yield isn't a reliable indicator for me. I then tried again around 6mo with success, but that may have been whilst simultaneously bf-ing (couldn't have managed that at the beginning!). For the next few months I was able to pump 5-6oz at a time and assumed that this was his usual amount, since he'd take that from the cup on occasion and not seem to want any more. Now at BT, as I said, it's more like 3-4oz if it's from the cup, but he apparently doesn't seem to want more than that so I'm not sure whether that's what he usually has from me, or whether he's just settling for a bit less? Does anyone else have any idea how much their toddlers are getting at the BT feed? I'm kind of hoping that his solids are more important now, so that the actual amount of breastmilk he gets doesn't matter too much? I'm afraid I gave up on cow's milk as a drink during the day, but he does have lots of yoghurt and milk-based puddings. But is there still a need to try to increase my milk supply? I guess I've been considering his bf's as a 'bonus' now rather than something to try and maximise... so I just let him stay as long as he wants (unless I've pushed his BT too late and he's dropping off!) and hope that what he's getting is adequate?
As for migraines, I suspect these latest ones have been hormonal but, having had them about once a year since before puberty, and not at all during pregnancy or during the first year, I wondered whether dropping the daytime feeds might have caused some sort of hormonal change that could have affected me in that way? It's not a big deal anyway, I haven't had them for a couple of months now, I was just curious!
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So, I think my BF days are over for Z :( I'm 4 mths pregnant ad I think my supply is gone funny. He is wanting to feed, but not really feeding, then fussing. At night we gave him a bottle and he chopped the lot.
Here is my worry though. BF before story/bed is totally ingrained in him. But if we are going to give a bottle. I want it before bath and teeth. I've kind of been here before, but never made the move. I'm so scared DS will freak if I change the order of his routine. Anyone BtDT with the transition from BF to bottle at this age?
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No sorry Sara I just gave a mug of warm milk after dinner. Could you do the same and tell him it is his special drink that he will have instead of the BF now he is a big boy and the breast milk has run out? Would you rather give a bottle than a cup? I would think that will be one more transition off the bottle he will need to make. Up to you of course. Are you thinking it'll be a gentler transition for him?
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Sara, sorry no advice about bottles, but our dentist said to clean his teeth even after bf, so atm I'm just doing that on my lap just after the bf (+ any Calpol etc, he's teething atm) - since he doesn't 'get' spitting out just yet anyway and I'm only using a tiny smear of toothpaste, that seems to be working ok, I just wipe his face afterwards. I'm currently missing one BT each week, and DS is just as happy to take his milk (EBM) from a cup with DH, in the same routine that he'd usually have his bf. Would that work for you? Obviously not the EBM but it seems he's happy enough with alternative milk anyway? Might be a little different for us as we never got DS to take a bottle so he just went straight to a cup for EBM at 6mo. I know what you mean about changing routines - scary, isn't it! Hope it's not too big a change for him...
I find it so hard to judge supply issues, I know DS has gone through several short periods of getting v distracted during feeds, and that it doesn't necessarily mean that he's wanting to give it up or that there's something up with my supply. I've generally tried to do whatever it takes to keep him happy so that he will nurse - atm in the morning, it's often making sure we're in the same room as DH, otherwise he just wants to look for 'Daddy'! In the evening, it's letting him hold his toothbrush/toothpaste/nasal spray/teething gel - or whatever else it is that he wants to grab (but NOT the Calpol!) whilst feeding. He'll then want to swap and hold something else when we switch sides. But before I realised that this is want he wanted, I was starting to wonder about supply/whether he was wanting to wean... Hope you're ok in your pregnancy anyway, and congratulations - can't remember whether I've already said that!
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He drinks water from anything but he doesn't really drink much milk from a sippy. Not a biggie, but hes teething ATM so I was trying to make as small a change as possible ;)
Before he was a teething mess he had his bottle as a sippy at lunch, but it seems to hurt ATM and he cries and wont drink from the hard spout, so I'm giving him flexi straw cups for his water (he tips all water out in normal cup ::) ) and back to bottle for lunch. Backwards step I know!!
I think Z is def weaning, this has been going on a week or two and my breasts are changing, it's common for milk to change during pregnancy and TBH I don't think he is a fan lol.
I guess the main issue is, I would just offer nothing usually, But he isn't eating much at the moment with these molars cutting ::) last night was awful, butthat was this tooth cutting...he was fine at BT with the bottle. I think I'll give it a week or two then move it to before bath cold turkey so we can do teeth after. We do teeth am too
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Hi,
I'm joining in, hoping you can help as I really want to continue BF for at least a few more months but I think my supply is way down.
About a month ago when my LO was turning 12 months I dropped nursing frequency to three times a day so she would be used to the new routine when I was about to start work. I nurse first thing in the morning 6am, after pm nap(or after coming home from work and day care 4pm) and before bed 6:45pm. She had no issues and everything seemed fine including my supply.
This past week (I'm been back at work for two weeks now) it seems that she's having harder time nursing based on her sucking and it takes a while to get the let down going. It seems she is done nursing very quickly even during the morning feed which seems that there is not enough for her that's why she gives up.
With my first born I also nursed 3 times a day after starting work once she turned 1 and soon she dropped the afternoon feed and I successful nursed her for another year or so (only on one side as she rejected one boob around that time too). I didn't have any supply isses.
Any recommendations? Should I try some herbs? I can't really increase frequency of nursing because of work.
Also if I lose supply what should I give her instead? I don't really want to do bottles though, should I do formula or just cow's milk? She hasn't had either yet, but eats really well most solids already including dairy just not milk yet.
thanks.
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If you decide to stop BF, there's really no need to give formula after 12m as she is eating well.
Are you feeling stressed by being back at work? Have you been eating well and drinking plenty of water? Is AF on her way? All things that could've had an impact on supply in the last couple of weeks.
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Sorry can`t figure out what AF means and yes I am more stressed. And now I worry about not nursing on top of everything.
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AF = Aunt Flo = your period.
Stress can totally mess with supply, so could be contributing
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Do you feed in a a quiet place so she isn't distracted.
I just realised B is now 12mo so I am officially an extended nursing Mama again.
I am also going back to work this week so will see what happens.
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I don`t think she`s distracted. Also she started to bite me and she`s done this before when teething and I think her second top teeth have started to cut through. After she bites, she usually starts to cry and fuss. Usually I yelp and tell her not to bite.
I didn`t realize AF can lower supply, I didnt`notice this before and I`m about a week away.
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KM and Zack's mum congratulations ( for Being pregnant and for B turning 1 (happy Birthday, B)) and best of wishes returning to work!
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Luc - I think that's about the time when you would notice a dip due to the raising of progesterone levels.
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teething can definitely affect the feeding. have you tried medicating?
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She's been nursing better today, I can hear her sucking is not so shallow and my one breast feels fuller. I think supply is low on one side and it takes her forever to get a let down going on this side too.
My LO had rejected this breast a handful of times over the past year and would only feed on the other breast but after a day or two would start taking both. My older LO also stopped nursing on this side around 15months and I just continued giving her the other side for all her feeds. At the time I though it was just her preference but could it be that supply/milk production is better on one side?
I try not to medicate for teething and she hasn't been bothered by it that much.
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Maybe something cold (wash cloth frozen bagel etc) before nursing for the pain if you don't want to do drugs?
I have one side that is definiely a better producer for sure.
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Ha Ha!! I can now join the 'extended nursing' thread!! Yay! We're on 2 feeds a day at the moment as his majesty decided the mid day feed was BO-RING!! And as i'm back at work next week :'( That suits me fine!
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Ha Ha!! I can now join the 'extended nursing' thread!! Yay! We're on 2 feeds a day at the moment as his majesty decided the mid day feed was BO-RING!! And as i'm back at work next week :'( That suits me fine!
LOL, me too! Never done this before. :)
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Welcome, ladies! I've never done it before, so all new here!
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Ok KM- when i was skimming over the 'frozen bagel' bit i thought that you meant for breast pain!! I thought i'd never heard THAT before- but could work!!
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Ok KM- when i was skimming over the 'frozen bagel' bit i thought that you meant for breast pain!! I thought i'd never heard THAT before- but could work!!
lol Katy! I admit I had to scroll back a page to figure it out too ;)
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Personally I like warm compresses...
:)
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ROFL. I wouldn't fancy cold nipples. Ouch
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Wouldn't your nipple poke through the hole in a bagel?! ;)
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I was going to say that Amanda LOL.
I am not actually doing extended BFing right now as Colby is only 9.5mo but I hope to become a bonafide member again in 2.5 months' time.
Congrats on reaching 1yr plus mamas. You are doing a fab job for your LOs.
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How many feeds are you ladies currently doing? I'm doing 2 as i said above- morning and BT- but am thinking of dropping the morning when i get back to work next week... any thoughts? I just reckon with the rush to get to my mums in the morning he won't notice it gone.
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We're doing just wu and BT here right now.
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any plans to drop one? morning? are you just waiting till he refuses?
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Hmmm....that's kind of the million dollar question for me right now. I think I had planned that we would have dropped both already, but I've been a bit slow about introducing cow's milk (not that he HAS to transition to cow's milk, but it just seems easier that way) and I don't want to move away from the BFs until I have something to move him to, IYKWIM? Plus (barring "accidents") he's our last baby and it's hard to think about not doing this ever again. But yes, we'll probably drop the morning one first, though he is nursing to sleep less and less these days so maybe the BT feed won't be nearly as bad as I'm fearing it will be.
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yeah- hamish hasn't been too bad dropping the last 2 he dropped- i found there was about a week or so transition where he still wanted the feed some days... but now he's all good. I want to keep the BT feed as that is the easiest to fit in. I'll try to get al ready in the mornings before work before i get him up- and it's just a pain to have to fit in a BF with the increasingly non BF friendly work clothes!!
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I am doing morning and bt. No plans to drop it. If he gets up later I just miss it out but then do it when I can. I did the same with k until he weaned at just over 2yo.
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I am doing morning and bt too - but if she has a feed in the night, as she occasionally does with canines coming through, I just don't mention the morning feed and she rarely asks for it.
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Morning and BT here too. Have had my parents here this week and they've just taken her for breakfast a few mornings and she hasn't been that fussed.
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yeah- i figure morning and night isn't causing anyone problems, i might just skip it on the mornings i'm at work but offer it other mornings.
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So I think I qualify for extended nursing now - DS is just over a year old. :)
We are currently doing 2, maybe 3 feeds most days - typically at WU, when I get home from the office around 4 or 5, and sometimes at BT. But - he's still nursing to sleep 2 or 3 times a night ::) Definitely sleep issues to tackle but another topic for another day.
Has anyone had any issues with your supply dropping too much to continue with just 2 feeds a day? I have also been getting very sore nipples again almost like when we first started nursing. Any ideas? His latch would occassionally change with teething, but he always seemed to adjust and it would be fine again a few days later. This has been ongoing for a few weeks now.
I'd like to nurse until 18 months and then wean completely.
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I find that I have less milk on 2 feeds but still enough for him to nurse as I hear lots of swallows. Make sure you're eating/drinking enough too.
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Your body adjusts to how much you're feeding, so should be fine on 2 feeds. The overnight feeds could be reverse cycling, where he's making up for lost time with you during the day at night. Have you been back at work a while now?
I've got the same problem with DD and her latch/sore nipples. She's not got that many teeth, but she definitely isn't getting her tongue in the right place for them not to rub, especially when she's tired.
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ah ladies- don't forget to try the ever rediculous- but effective 'football hold'- i tried that with my guy when he was about 10 months and i was getting heaps of pain- i think it was irritation after excess saliva during tonsilitis. But it worked! A few days in a different position let me heal...
So a question from me... Next week i'll be going to a training day in sydney- 2 hours away- and will probably be out ALL DAY- as in i may have to leave before hamish wakes up and get home after he goes to bed :'( Other than me missing him to bits... I just make sure mum gives him some milk and water and such right? I don't need to pump for one day? Considering that he's been feeding overnight a number of nights i guess i won't really be missing feeds...
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I hadn't even considered reverse cycling at this age...but that certainly is a possibility. I went back to work when he was 2 months old but just recently switched from 2 days in the office to 3 longer days. Plus hubby's been putting him to bed so I can spend some more time with my daughter at night. I don't get much "quality" time with my kids Monday-Wednesday...it's more of a whirl-wind of dinner, clean, bath, bed sort of thing.
DS has 4 teeth on top and 2 on bottom and I think it's the 4 on top that are causing the soreness. I might try a different position tonight and see what we can do. Plus he likes to latch and release 500 million times during a nursing session to make sure he isn't missing anything important and I think that initial latch on isn't helping either because he tends to clamp down harder than he needs to initially and then eases up as he actually starts nursing.
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Ooh, the repeated latching and releasing sounds painful -- that bugs me when James does it.
Katy, you should be ok, might bring the pump jic of engorgement.
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Katy, you should be just fine :)
Football/rugby ball hold is a bit tricky when lying down, though ;)
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Right, fellow nursing mums, a question from me. Misha is 20 months has two feeds (am and bt) and is teething. He has had a temperature with a virus on Fri-Sat and we had a long weekend so not quite the routine. My problem is he is nursing a bit less and is more impatient with it (e.g. latch, release, possibly a cry, a swipe, head turning away, 'no, no', then back to nursing, then repeat). I skipped one feed to do gardening (priorities, I know) and since then one side seems to produce near nil. He is fussing now on both sides. He has also been super clingy and has lately taken to sticking his hand in my bra for comfort. So I am thinking, are all these the signs that weaning is on the cards, or should I just ride it out and it will get better? I was hoping to feed till 2...
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Hmm, not sure.
Are you still making sure to drink plenty?
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Had to make real effort drinking, so you might be right. Anyone else has a groping child? It is not really discreet...
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How's it going now, Kate? My M's also 20mo (just 1 day older than yours!) and feeding at WU and BT. I've found he does go through fussy feeding phases, but then he'd done that from very young and it always passes, sometimes there's an obvious reason but sometimes I never work it out. The two most recent ones were (i) wanting to hold a particular object during bf-ing (might have to offer a suitably interesting alternative if I don't want him to have the first one!) and (ii) showing his angst when I'd been away from him for longer than usual - he initially refused to feed at all but cried in my arms for half an hour but then took an extra long feed. I would suspect that if your DS is being super-clingy and 'groping' (yes, we get this occasionally too!) then he's probably not done with the breast just yet - unless you want him to?
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Ok- so hamish is waking at night- usually once- and has a feed... I'm less strict with this than i was when he was tiny!! do i need to drop this- or should i just leave it as usually it's just feed and then back down till morning? What would you ladies do? I totally won't be doing this when i'm not breastfeedng! And wouldnt' be if i'd weaned- it's just so easy!!
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Well, I'd look at why he's waking. If it's a comfort thing, it will most likely end when whatever is causing the discomfort will stop (theoretically....) but if it's a habit, you'll probably be stuck with it unless you try to stop it. That's just theoretically though, James is my first that I've passed the year mark with and he hasn't fed in the night in several months. Allie used to feed around 5/6 AM every morning, but on the days when she didn't wake for it, I had to wake her since I was going to work.
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F goes back and forth with having NFs - she is an atrocious teether, so I really do find it the best way to comfort her in the night and generally results in the most sleep for all of us. We had 2 NFs last night ::) but I know that when her canines are through she won't need them any more.
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See- he has had a cold and a cough for a while now- and has had a cold fairly consistently for a month or so ::) .. but is that just an excuse?
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Are you happy with it the way it is? If so, to me, it's not an issue :)
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I'm happy enough i think- As the long night wakings that we occasionally get are more related to illness and discomfort rather than the nights when he feeds and goes back down right away. If the feeds led to long night wakings then i'd be WELL over it- but the one feed is not too bad.. I think i might wait till spring and he will hopefully not have a constant cold- and then he either won't wake up- or i won't have an excuse that he 'needs' a feed!
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Katy, I think that's exactly it -- when we reached the point where he'd usually settle as easily without a feed as with, that's when I don't feed in the night anymore. If it works for you, don't worry about it. :)
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Ours wakes when has colds and I feed, but sometimes even that not enough. I agree with PPs, it is a comfort thing but it passes. And for my one it is useful to pick him up to clear away those lungs and bronchi from snot. If cold is constant has GP checked it? My DS's turned out to be allergy, asthma and hayfever stuff.
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Sorry was away, thank you Trimbler! I think you are right so am still feeding.
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Thanks Katyusha- yeah- we had it checked and she (dr) suspected it could be allergy as i have it- she pretty much said he could take hay fever stuff for the winter...
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Ours is to grass and trees so March - July but due to other allergies we take antihestamine daily. I have found there is a science to it, like when to air the room and not to, certain days that are worse, etc. And before we split the dose in two, but now give all in one go before his worst times, so am for us. However, asthma doctor suspected food allergy when I told him of constant runny nose in winter and he tested him. Turned out it was allergy to egg, chickpeas and some other stuff, on top of the dairy Nd soy we excluded earlier. So the doctor was pretty astute, as we already exlcuded some of DS's worst offenders but continued to have the nose and rashes. Now after excluding more he seems much better.
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hmm... ATM he DOESN'T HAVE A RUNNY NOSE!!!! BUT- we ere at the doctors as he has a rash on his face and legs- she said its a reaction to something! So although he wasn't a sensitive baby at all it looks like he might be a sensitive toddler!! I'll have to start thinking.
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Hi all, how are all the little toddlers feeding?
Colby is 1yo in a couple of weeks so I will be a proper member again. Yay! ;) We are still feeding 4x in the day and more often than not once around 3 or 4am as well.
Interestingly I was chatting with another mum I am friendly with at play group and she "admitted" that she is still feeding her 33mo when he asks or when she wants him to have a nap. I think she was pleasantly surprised when I happily told her how my two sisters and I had all fed our toddlers (who all attend the playgroup) until about 2yo. She is considering weaning him now as she is 3m pregnant. I was sharing my wisdom about nursing in pg and tandem and I realise it is the first time I have spoken about extended nursing to anyone other than my family. I guess because it is often morning and evening it is normally behind closed doors.
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Good for you, Ali! Way to go!
I think our journey might be coming to an end :( D has only been having a really short feed the last couple of nights and her latch is all over the place. How does she manage to suck and still get me with those bottom teeth?? ???
Or it could be that we're staying with my parents and it's a different place than the chair and room she's used to, who knows?
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Still going well- have JUSt weaned the night feeds (as in the middle of the night) it was getting stupid- one was turning into 2.. and some long wakings.. Went better than i thought! He still has the night and morning feed with relish! And calls it 'go' why he does this i don't know!! He must be hearing the 'k' at the end and replacing it with a 'g'...
Hugs on the finishing feeding amanda!! Just think of te great bras you'l be able to buy!!
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Still here with WU and BT feeds....and sometimes one NF as well. I don't mind giving one when she's badly teething, but she is such an atrocious teether that they come and go for so long and it's hard to figure out when she's really in discomfort and when she's just trying it on! So I've been being a bit firm on no NFs over the past week or so and she has started sleeping better.
How does she manage to suck and still get me with those bottom teeth??
Yes, you have to wonder, don't you?? F's latch has never been great and each time a new tooth is cutting we have problems...to the extent that when we sit down for a feed, F looks at me and preemptively says owww! Will you keep offering, Amanda, and see if she comes back to it?
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Hamish will look at me at the end of a side sometimes and give me the most delicate and deliberate bite! No idea why!! It's not hat he's cranky- or even being silly- it's just that he thinks this is sometimes required!!
Good job on the no night feeds Nuala- I was happy enough with a night feed to except it was just getting silly. We actally haven't found it that hard- the first night he guzzled some water- but since that he hasn't even wanted that! Much better sleeping without..
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Morning and night here too, though we're both somewhat half-hearted about it now so I don't know how long we'll keep it up for. It's been nice to keep it up for this long though!
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Nuala, she's still going so far, just seems less interested. She was really tired tonight, but did ok until it just got too uncomfortable :-\
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Hi ladies, I thought I'd pop on here and say hi :) **waves**
I'm ebf Evelyn who is almost 13 months - about 4 feeds in 24 hours, including one night feed in the early morning still ::). I'm not really sure what to do about it as she takes a huge feed, and then will go back to sleep for another few hours :-\. She's MSPI so I'm particularly happy to be still breastfeeding her but she hasn't slept through the night *ever* and I'd love it if she would start sometime soon!!
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Hope she does it for you soon, Claire. D was similar and (touch wood) does pretty well now :)
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Hi Claire! Hope she pushes out to a normal wu time soon! Any luck trying to limit that early AM feed or are you just going with it for now?
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I have to share 2 things- One- VERY exciting- Hamish STTN for the first time in a VERY long time!! No feed, no waking!! Hopefully once he gets over this early evening waking because he went to bed too late (naughty mummy) tonight ill be the same!
And the other is an amusing anecdote that you would ONLY have when BFing a toddler- Apparenty hamish pulled at my mum's shirt on a number of occasions today saying 'go, go' ('mik, milk')!! Needless to say he got no joy there!
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Heya, I'm just popping my head in.
I nurse my 17 month old, and I hope he continues through winter until next spring at least. But he loves nursing, so I think he will.
He nurses several times a day (whenever he wants), and once or sometimes twice at night.
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yey, that's great he sttn :)! And very funny about your Mum lol!
Hi Claire! Hope she pushes out to a normal wu time soon! Any luck trying to limit that early AM feed or are you just going with it for now?
hmm, I've not really tried limiting it much as she was taking a full feed at 5.30am and then sleeping til 8 which was amazing. But now its gradually slipping earlier and last night she woke at 3am ::), so I think I'm going to have to start reducing it down. She self settles the rest of the time for bedtime/naps/early evening but goes completely crazy if she wakes in the middle of the night and dh tries to settle her - does that suggest she really is hungry ???
posted at the same time as you Solene - hi :)
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Hi Solene
Claire, with the weather being warmer, perhaps she's thirsty?
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Hi Solene
Claire, with the weather being warmer, perhaps she's thirsty?
Oh, unfortunately it's not the weather she's been like it for months ::), and goes crazy if we try and give her water and then takes a good 15 minute feed! she's a scamp lol!
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If she's taking a good feed, sounds like hunger to me!!
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Welcome Solene ;)
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Hi Solene!
well i spoke too soon- last night was up twice- and once even asked for milk!! ::) Could have been teeth- who knows!
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Groan for NWs. D was awake at 4.30am, quite happy chatting to herself and very much not going back to sleep. Urgh. Don't know if it's her weird BT feeding, teeth, room sharing, heat or something completely different, but it's driving me bonkers now.
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Oh how I HATE that!! HATE IT!! I really hate the 4.30 or later ones as you know that there's less and less time till they are up for the day!! Even a 2 hour waking at 1/30 am i like better.. doesn't do your head in quite so much!
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Yeah, 5 - 5.30am is the worst here - I know at that time of morning there's VERY little chance of her going properly back to sleep after a feed....but NO chance if I don't feed her ::) And at least if I feed her straight away she'll take a nice long quiet feed so it means she resting for an extra half hour and manages the rest of the day better.
We're back to 1-2 NFs here - F is sick and has been running a fever so she needs the comfort and it's good for getting fluids into her too.
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Last night was even worse, if that's possible. 2.40am awake. Still awake at 4.20am when I pushed off to the sofa! I gave her some more teething meds before I went and assume she went back to sleep!!
On doing her teething meds tonight, I have found another tooth, so could've been that, but she was completely happy with it. She fed better tonight too and was asleep by 6.15pm, so fingers crossed all this dodgy latch and whatnot has been teeth related.
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Nearly 2 y.o. here and still nurses am and BT, but very very quickly. Is it time to quit?
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Do you want to wean Kate? If so, would he ask if you didn't offer and just distracted instead?
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katyusha, what's quick?
And, if you both still enjoy it, then I wouldn't think much about it. If you feel done though, you can always just try distracting him if he asks? See how it goes.
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Kate- could you just drop one? then he might be happier to have a longer one at one time of the day? Unless you're ready to stop and then you might be able to just distract him.
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Today at play group a mum who hadn't been for a few months asked me just out of the blue (to be nosy) in front of the whole room full of about 9 parents "You're not still feeding him?"
Me:yes
Nosy: But he's 1 now, no?
Me: No, he'll be one next week
Nosy: And then you'll stop feeding him?
Me: No
Then Nosy didn't know what to say and the conversation ended there ::)
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I tend to be very over-entusiastic just for the heck of it.
Like:
Busy-body: you're not still nursing?
Me: of course I am!
Busy-body: huh? But he's 1.5?!
Me: exactly! It's recommended until 2 by WHO. And has health benefits for both of us, and his first winter in daycare is excellent to nurse through, and it's an amazing re-connect for us, it's something just the two of us share, I love it! I hope he continues for another year at least!
Busy-body will usually look at me like I have said something very new they have to think hard about, but it shuts them up.
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Ha! I normally drop in the WHO recs but I think I got distracted by ds1. I am proud to BF for so long, it just amazes me that a breastfeeding mother (Nosy is BFing her 9mo) would be so presumptuous and think I want to answer personal questions in front of all and sundry. I mean I am not really that friendly with this mama
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Busy-bodies tend to do that.
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LOL Solene, love the enthusiasm!
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clearly she had agenda! I can't believe that the phrase 'who really cares what you do in the privacy of your own home' needs to be applied to this situation!! That's how people comment about outrageous Adult 'fun' practices!! Totally different!! I've been lucky i havent come upagainst much debate on the issue...
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Urgh, I'm so fortunate that I've not had to experience that. I think people just assume now that DD isn't BF any more as she just has a BT feed. Either that or I'm some sort of ogre and people are afraid to ask ??? *menacing growl* ;)
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No one has ever asked me - or maybe they have and I didn't understand the question ;) But then, I've had people ask me fairly recently does F eat much food yet, so maybe they think she's much younger than she is :-\
It bugs me that if a baby has been on formula, nobody thinks anything of them still getting a bedtime bottle at 18 months - our 3.5 yr old neighbour still had a bedtime bottle of formula until a couple of months ago! But a bf, whoa, that's a bit odd.
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It's funny Amanda because I actually almost never feed Colby out and about even though he still gets 4 feeds a day because he is just so distractable. I almost never do it these days at play group because he has it before we go and then when we get home. If I do do it there (like if I want to encourage him to sleep in the buggy and know he wouldn't if he was waiting on his Boob) then it is after everyone has left and he isn't bobbing on and off every 10 seconds.
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Just takes the once, huh?! :) Not that it's any of their business anyway....
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Thanks for your replies, sorry was away. I tend to say I'll bf till 2 and then we'll see. Thing is M feeds for about 5 minutes? Some mornings he goes Left, right, switch back to left, and so on for 3 times? So that will be 15 mins. So I think must be not enough there. Last 2 days he added a daytime feed. Plus today he had an allergic reaction in his throat and so feeding was haphazard at BT. He kept switching between bf and formula cup and in the end drank his milk cup after much persevering. Felt so sorry for him. Plus he is getting choosy, saying 'moko' for milk ('moloko' in Russian) and picking which side he wants to nurse on. Feels like a more concious knowing experience, if it makes sence. But I alway wanted him to self wean....
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I realised I am officially an extended nurser again. B is 15.5mo now and still getting 3 BF per day. I only occasionally feed him in public if he is really grumpy and wont take no for an answer.
I usually just say "I will feed for the reccommended 2yrs hopefully"
It often comes up at work if I don't drink when we go out.
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Colby turned 1yo today so I am officially here again ;D
Just this week he has worked out that if he points to the boob and does an uh sound I know he wants to BF. He's never really asked before so it is strange. I hope he doesn't start asking additional times as I would like to cut down to 3 a day if we can ever cut out the NF.
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I meant to say B put 2 words together for the first time a few weeks ago and it was "more boob". So cute.
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Aww, more boob, love it :)
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That was K's first 2 words sentence too. These boys love their boobs.
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LOL!! Hamish has been saying 'go' (rhymes with 'hot') for a while now for milk. This morning at 4.30 we had quite the discussion about 'go' and the lack of it until the morning ::) It was pretty funny- he generally feels he may as well try it on- you don't get anything if you don't try! Mummy was tough though... so tough she brought him into our bed ::)
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LOL Katy. :) At least you got to pick which prop to use.
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So funny! Mine does not like our bed. It is all up, up, no lie ins. And if he wants to sleep then, yes, our bed is nice privided I stay out of it. Then he can sprawl starfish like. Mish says things like 'that one', or, 'no, this one' for which side he prefers. Congrats on 2 words as well! Well done B and his mama!
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I still BF wherever M's fancy strikes him, but generally it has been only am and BT.
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Lol Kate! Picking sides!! I've been really lucky- hamish likes a snooze in our bed (i try not to do it too often) and also likes a cuddle in bed in the morning. BUT- he's not as big as yours, so we might get to that!
Erin- Yes- the cuddle in bed prop seems easier to wean- and we don't do it every day, if it as turning into every morning i'd get a bit hard line on it- but thus far it's just the odd occasion when something else wakes him up. You know how if the time spent resettling is just going to get you to wake up time? that's when i bail out and do a co-sleep...
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Dropping in here - I am still feeding my 15mo with no particular plans to stop. I had a trying conversation with my mum about it last week, so Ali suggested that I come here to chat.
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Hi Claire and welcome :)
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Welcome Claire.
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Welcome Claire. Cant believe we are extended nurses. I still remember being on the TTC threaad with you. How time flies.
I have weaned night feeds completely. We are still getting a brief 5.30am wu but settling quickly - quicker than a feed so i am hoping he will get there. He does take his time over his wu boob now though, he supped for 50mins back and forth (RLR) this morning. I didn't mind because i could continue snoozing for that time. He lets me know when he wants to swap though (after 20min or so). I feel so much less full now that I have weaned the last NF though, I guess NF are good for supply after all.
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Khalam's Mama, I want to continue nursing at least until next spring (first winter in daycare, and past 2 yo.), and that's why I'm still nursing at night with no plans to stop.
He only eats one time, or two, at night. But I don't wanna risk the supply with stopping it.
I know many stop BF'ing at night with no change in supply, I'm just not risking it.
Mum thinks I'm crazy. :p
But honestly it doesn't bother me, I hardly wake up from that feed, he sleeps right next to me and kinda just helps himself.
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I reckon Solene that if it suits you then keep it going! I was finding that for us the night wakings were turning into more more than one, and becoming extended... so we ditched them... but if it's no problem then keep it up!
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Ok= so i feel like the breastfeeding equivalent of a teenager again! I didn't give DS his ?BT feed as we were out and he was with mum- and now he's woken in the middle of the night- that's not odd- the odd part is than once i put him to bed again i realised tht i was LEAKING quite a bit- AND engorged!!! That usually never happens! I had to dig out a nursing pad!! So since our ban on night feeds i really didn't want to feed him, so i've had to dig out the PUMP!! Now i have about 150 or so mls of EBM- WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT!! DO you think he'll drink it in a cup? He doesn't drink much milk during the day... should i save it for someone to give him when i'm not here? That seems a bit over the top... AND i've packed up all of the bottles, so i don't even have a storage lid!
I also can't believe it as in what i would term 'the dying days of the pump' i really wasn't getting anything much out at all- so i thought i'd get nothing now!! ANyway- off to bed to sleep in only slightly damp comfort. (ew! TMI! :P )
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Lol Katy. Can you put it on his cereal or something?
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Lol, I'm still lurking (sorry stalker ish arent I!) but this happened to me on and off Katy too ;) luckily it settled as quick as it started so hopefully it's a 1 off for now lol :-*
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I was going to suggest on cereal or something as well. :)
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Sara, it is great to have BTDT advice so please do stick around ;D
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Yeah- i might go the cereal.. It just amuses me that I still have this 'ebm is like gold' mentality! Even though it's really not at this point!
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Put it in dh's coffee and see if he notices. :)
No seriously, I'd mix it with food.
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LOL! We ran out of milk for DHs coffee- so i did suggest that- he wasn't keen! It probably wouldnt taste that different... :P I'm not tasting it though... ew! I don't like milk though,... so i don't think i'd like it...
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Haha! Yeah, I'd just use it with his food. I personally dislike the smell of ebm so wouldn't be keen to have it in MY coffee! :P
If any of you are down to mostly just one feed a day, when did you do that? I'm thinking of dropping the BT feed soon but would like to keep the WU one for a few more months. I think most people do it the other way around but this would work better for us: we usually have more time in the morning for nice long snuggly feeds (when F is in the mood for them) whereas fitting in milk between dinner and bath can sometimes mean bedtime is a bit of a rush. She's often not super keen if she's had a big dinner anyway. And I thought it might be better for keeping up the supply?
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We do our BT feed after bath so it's not too tricky... Still on 2 here though- so no advice!
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When I went to one feed with e I dropped the bedtime feed first because we used to have a snuggly feed in the morning which I didn't want to give up! She was about 15/16 months, I think. I thought that it would be really difficult to drop the bedtime feed but actually she didn't even notice.
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yeah.. i reckon the BT will be easiest for us to lose too- he goes crazy for the morning feed, but BT he likes- but will sometimes squirm away to check out something else!
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I thought that it would be really difficult to drop the bedtime feed but actually she didn't even notice.
yeah, I suspect it may be like this here too. She has gone without her bt milk a few times recently when I've been out and DH says she hasn't seemed bothered at all. Maybe it'll be different if I am here though. Think we'll give it a go this week - she was bobbing around all over the place this evening!
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With Cadan I kept the BT and WU feed until the end pretty much (26mo). Then I just distracted him by getting up in the morning and doing breakfast. I already had a 6mo Colby so there was no peaceful morning snuggle, we had a grizzly baby clambering all over us. That was pretty non-eventful.
I kept the BT feed until last and then just moved it before the whole bedtime routine for few weeks and the I just didn't offer it and gave him a dippy of warm milk and sent him upstairs to do BT with DH. He didn't notice for a few days and then when he asked on the 4th or 5th day I just said he was a big boy and didn't need boobies anymore and then just distracted him. I think we had tears a couple days after a week or 10 days but he was easily comforted and then he never asked again. Good luck.
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We kept BT but not am, and for us it was really easy. I did it on a sat am and Dh got up, got Z and I made toast.the min he came out we made a big deal out of breakie and ate together, then sun same and after that no more interest in am milk ;) that said Z was 15 mths.
We dropped it because it was affecting his solids intake, and I knew there was no way he would let me drop BT ::)
As Ali mentions with Dh, we did the same, also when I dropped BT feed. DH did it to remove the temptation for him and me (though with BT he wasn't wanting it much as my milk had changed with being pregnant)
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Ok- so comment from mum today 'If you dont stop breastfeeding him soon you'll be still feeding him when the next one comes along!'
um- so a) what would be wrong with that, and b) as we are not yet pregnant, nor are we trying to get pregnant there is probably no great rush to wean in order to avoid the awful situation that would be BFing 2 kids at once!! ::)
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Grrr on your behalf, Katy.
We also lost the WU feed first. Mum and Dad came to stay for a week and they just got her up and left me in bed ;)
Still not sure how much longer BT feed will last as it seems to be getting shorter, but have always said I wanted her to self-wean, so we carry on until such a time as she tells me 'no thanks' :)
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X has not been very interested in his bt feed the last couple of days, but he is teething his last canine so that might be why. I would like it if he weaned that one on his own, though, as it is a bit difficult trying to get all 3 of them to bed at the same time when he needs a feed!
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Mum and Dad came to stay for a week and they just got her up and left me in bed
hmm- sounds like a great plan!!
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;D
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Well, 3 days with no feeds here, so I guess we're done. Dropped the AM a few weeks ago when school started for the girls -- he really wasn't interested anymore, would go for a few sucks then wander off to play. BT was becoming the on-again, off-again routine for a bunch of nights, and quite honestly I was ready to be done. So, we've just played on the floor and read books the last 3 nights before bed and he doesn't seem to notice. :( Bittersweet.
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:D that it has been so easy- :-* that it has been so easy!! In some ways i'm sure it would have been nice to have him have a tantrum over it hey!! Hooray on the new found freedom!
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Big hugs. If you're both satisfied that this is it, then a big well done for all you've done for your little guy.
I really don't think it matters when you finish feeding and whether it's on your or their terms, it's always a bit sad.
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If you're both satisfied that this is it, then a big well done for all you've done for your little guy.
Satisfied, but sad, yk?
And pleased -- nursed dd1 for 10.5 months, dd2 for 12, and now ds for nearly 16. And I never wanted to quit something more than I did when dd1 was tiny, so glad I pushed through with her as I'm sure I wouldn't have had the wonderful experiences I did with the next two if I hadn't pushed through the beginning rough patches with her. :)
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Good job, Erin. :-*
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Yeah! And you were so good at it you are a mod on it- advising others! (because it;s about how 'good' you are, they hand out awards... ::) ) Bet you never thought that would happen when you were struggling!
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LOL Katy. :) That's what makes me want to help others though, I wouldn't trade the BFing relationship I had with my babies for anything, so that gives me lots of motivation to (hopefully) help other people get there.
Thanks Amanda. :-*
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(((hugs))) for the end of this particular journey, Erin, but it's great that it was so painless.
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Well done Erin :)
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My GP asked me today "Has the WHO changed the Bf rec to 2yrs?" i told him it had been 2yrs since before I was pg with k 3-4yrs ago but wasn't sure when it had become that.
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Go you! Nice one :)
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What a dope ::)
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::) ::)
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Makes yu wonder what else he's not up to date on hey!
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He is not the best for sure.
I was feeding b at my sister's today and bil and bil sister had a discussion about b's little look on his face, talk about over friendly.
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LOL!
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It looks like we're down to one feed a day - today was the 5th day of no milk at bt. I was out the first two nights and the next night I kept a low profile - but yesterday and today I've been there for bt and and not even a hint of asking for it. Phew! If she'd been upset at all I wasn't going to push dropping the feed but it was fine. She wakes asking for mamamilk every morning though so I think we'll be keeping that one for a while :)
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That's fab Nuala.
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Hmm, I went to Colby's 8-12mo health review yesterday and it was discussed that I was still breast feeding and thinking about it now makes me quite angry tbh. The HV made me feel like I was keeping him BFing for my own needs and that it was not appropriate. >:( Some of the little gems she came out with include:
"He should be on cows milk now" (why? He's a human not a cow, surely milk produced by his mother is more nutritionally appropriate, not to mention the immunological benefits, than the milk from an entirely different species.),
"Are you planning to wean him soon?" (No, I fed my DS1 until he was 26mo and will do the same for DS2 if he'll have me),
"Do you think it is more for your comfort than his?" :o (I enjoy it but he definitely still wants it and would cry *a lot* if I tried to wean him.)"
And when I pointed out the WHO's recs are to BF until 2yo she said "I know, but not many mothers are still BFing at this age so I'm always amazed when I see mothers who are actually doing it." Ha! Is it any wonder when that is the attitude of the supposed health professionals to whom women look for guidance on this issue?
I really feel like I should complain and suggest that the person who manages the HVs makes efforts to educate them a little. It is not this one HV, I have often sensed a similar attitude from every HV I have seen at the drop in clinics etc. Even if it is not their personal belief I believe they should be promoting BFing in line with the UK guidance. I'm rubbish at things like that though so it would probably come out wrong. It has annoyed me though. I consider myself well-informed and confident about my decision to breastfeed but I worry about other more vulnerable mums who would wean their LO after a similar experience with the HV. :-\
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Oh my word, that is just disgraceful! For her response to be "yes, I know the recommendations" but to show surprise?? If she wasn't so surprised and negative about it, perhaps more of her caseload would still be feeding longer. Grrr
You really should write. What a horrible attitude!
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On and off with BT feed here. He takes a formula as well. I have switiched to underwired normal bras and M is a bit dissapointed when he realises there is not that much there. The other day he went off with a bra going, 'milk!' I roll my eyes and try not to laugh.
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The hv's really are dreadful, Ali. I am constantly amazed at the advice that they give which flies in the face of common sense, let alone worldwide guidelines. Just because she doesn't come across mothers who feed for that long doesn't mean that she should be trying to discourage the ones that do.
I am wondering if we are starting to reach the end of bt feed with x, though - he doesn't seem as interested as he used to be so I think we might move on from it soon. I will be sad, though, so I am not rushing to it.
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Heard the same from HV for both kids.
Thing is my HV is lovely, so I would not want to offend. However She is good 15+ years older than me and back then the formula was the norm. So in a way even though they have heard the guidance it is not part of their inner belief. They think BFng past certain age wierd (1 y for sure) and even before that would suggest dropping it if there are any problems. By problems I mean Mum not getting enough sleep, baby dropping off the centile (imagine when we used older formula charts as well), baby bopping on and off the breast, etc. GPs similarly believe that past 6 months and certainly past 1 year there are no imummological benefits. Around 6-8 momths HVs are worried that the babies who nurse are Not getting enough solids and that their weaning onto solids might be affected. Then any weaning difficulties (say teething, or a bug, so kid eats less) will lead to discussion on appropriateness of BF. Equally other things blamed on BF are: baby is dependent on mother, separation anxiety, how will he/she transition to nursery, and night wakings.
Any wonder then that women give up. Here if I say that they give uo for lack of support I would be accused of being prejudiced. Many women who formula feed say that they feel judged and that on the contrary they feel that 'breast is best' message from health proffessionals made them feel inadequate and nearly bullied into BF.
My view is that in the first instance we need to accept that as human species we process information easier in simplified terms, hence the gravitation towards simple messages which sadly end up marginalising people. Hence the coined slogans, steriotypes, and ready made judgements. Secondly, accurate info is IMO best. Accurate information without bias. Let the mum decide. Then whatever she decided, that is what goes and needs to be supported. The guilt or constant second guessing is very unhelpful and undermining, however well intentioned. IMO women who actually go to see HV have their child's best interest at heart and often already have thought through a few things.
As for feeding for own comfort - I have heard that a bit and I think of it as both judgemental and a form of emotional manipulation.
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PMG Ali- just read this!! Awful!! How many feeds are you doing anyway? It sounds that even if i'd suggested the 2 feeds i'm doing she'd have suggested that i was a boob waving hippy ::) IT's just crazy! If i were you I'd try to complain or something.. that is completely inappropriate!!
The feeding for your own comfort thing!! That is just rude and must have made you feel like a mother BFing till 8!! HE"S ONE!!! ONE!!! :o (I wanted LARGER capitals for the second 'one' to highlight it further...)
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Katy I told her I was feeding 4x but sometimes it's actually 5 if he is up in the middle of the night.
That's what is holding me back complaining. I don't think she was being unkind, she was perfectly pleasant but just extremely misguided. And like I say she isn't the only one.
The funny thing is I'm pretty sure this particular HV grew up and lived until quite recently in a developing country in Africa so I would have thought BFing and even extended BFing was more the norm there than it is in the UK so her mindset would be less biased by the formula years.
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Oh my goodness Ali, I am just seeing this now too. I would be fuming. In fact, I AM fuming! At that age F was having 3 feeds a day and sometimes a night feed or two when teething or sick. I would have been so mad if I'd been told by a health professional that there was anything wrong with that.
That's what is holding me back complaining. I don't think she was being unkind, she was perfectly pleasant but just extremely misguided. And like I say she isn't the only one.
See, this is PRECISELY what would make me complain - or perhaps complain isn't the right word, but raise my concerns with someone. If she is pleasant and friendly and comes across as though she's genuinely giving the best advice, then less educated mothers ARE going to think she knows what she's talking about. Especially if they see another HV who says the same thing. Goodness, perhaps I'm doing my baby a disservice by not having him/her drink cow's milk yet, like all the other babies... I don't really understand what HVs are but I've read so many alleged incidents of questionable advice that they've given people on here that I really have to wonder about their training :-\ Are they trained nurses? Do they have any requirements to do professional development courses to keep them up to date...?
Oh, and of course I was bfing ENTIRELY for my own benefit when my 15 month old was cutting 3 molars at once and was having at least 2 NFs where she was not just sucking but chewing... ::)
We've all seen how you write on here, I'm sure you can pen an eloquently worded letter to the appropriate people ;)
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Oh how annoying Ali. A little support would be nice, especially since you're actually FOLLOWING the recommendations. Could you imagine if they approached the other recs with the same attitude?
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Yes, Nuala, HVs have to be a qualified midwife or nurse and then do a further 1year training course in specialist community public health nursing. I'm sure they would need to do Continued Professional Development as all other health workers in the NHS I know of do. I think sometimes they know the guidance but just think they know better from their years of experience at work and often as a mother too. ::)
I know what you mean Erin and I have often heard of them flouting other guidance too and recommending mothers who are struggling with their 4mo waking at night to just try a bit of rice cereal before bed to help them sttn. And then poor baby is laying in a bouncer because he can't sit yet and thrusting his tongue to push it all out. And mum is back a couple weeks later asking why he hasn't pooped in several days. Anyway rant over. I may try and get something down tonight.
On a slightly different topic, I am away for 48hrs from Friday afternoon to Sunday BT in a couple weeks and am wondering what others would do about missed feeds? Obviously I will need to pump while away but I will just dump it as I don't have storage or transport facilities to keep it fresh. I don't want the hassle of pumping a stock before I go but am not sure what to offer instead. I may tell DH to offer cows milk at WU and BT and just offer extra solids and water or diluted fruit juice for the middle feeds. Don't think he needs 4 cups of cows milk. Is that what you guys would do or not?
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Yeah, I'd probably just offer water and maybe try a bit of cows' milk if he seemed up for it.
The BF training most HVs get is minimal. I think they're only officially required to have sat on the UNICEF course, which, I think (might be wrong) is ONE DAY.
What they SHOULD be doing with BF issues is recognising they aren't expert in the area and referring on to BF counsellors/IBCLCs etc to give the proper support, but my feeling is that many of them have too much pride to be able to admit their weaknesses :-\
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I was asked to fill a feedback form recently and wrote on it how the hv only give advice about weaning bf no matter what the problem, baby nw, mum returning to work, mum pg, baby not eating solids despite dropping bf etc etc. I could say nr baby was green with polka dots and they would say stop bf. I find being a health professional myself that it becomes cultural, if those you work with work in a certain way, one is more likely to adopt it esp if those in charge are not up to date and pushing for evidence based practice.
I have weaned all nf now for over a month but b is still ew. Frustrating. Guess the bf wasn't the problem. I darent ask my hv for any advice. I wonder what they would say now k is weaned if I asked for advice. Carry on as you are I guess.
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I completely agree Amanda and I know there is so much to know about BFing but I feel like a day of training should be enough to know the basic guidance. It is more than I have had and while I'm not an expert I'm sure I would be better informed than any of the HVs I have met.
KM, they would probably still say he is clingy due to the BFing in the day and you should wean completely. That or CC anyway ::)
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I wonder what they would say now k is weaned if I asked for advice
If my recent questions about D talking to herself for hours at night is anything to go by it would be to avoid eye contact, ignore her as much as possible, don't talk to her, don't go in unless completely necessary and keep the room dark, no cuddles, no physical contact etc :-\
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Ugh!
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Good point amanda about the need for referral to a LC- that never happens! I would never dream of seeing an LC for issues.. even at 10 months when i was having problems that would never have happened! It should occur to me- but wouldn't!
KM- Great point about the weaning being a cure all! That is so true! I've actually had nothing to do with any form of health visitor.... just went through the dr, and the extended BFing doesnt come up!
I think too that the WHO guidelines also suggests something like 'frequent, on demand BFing' till 2- suggesting that actually 3, 4 or 5 (or more) BFs are what thy are talking about! ANd i like how people sort of dismiss the guides by saying 'oh- they mean in developing countries' ::) Um, no- they don't, they would SAY that if they meant that!! It's clearly recommended for ALL babies!! And i'm not saying that people who struggled for 6 months before giving up should be continuing, no- everyone needs to do what works for them- but don't dis people that have a great BFing relationship and can continue on for as long as needed! UGH! (It's 3am... i'm feeling a little ranty!)
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AMEN!
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Ali, James just does cow's milk with breakfast and dinner now and water and solids at other times.
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Hi :)
DH has finally stopped trying to get me to wean DS cold turkey immediately but has said he doesn't want him feeding beyond 2yo. We shall see, but I think that's reasonable.
We did DODR for a while which turned around and bit me on the nose! We *were* just feeding after his nap, at WU and BT and he was STTN. Should've left well alone. Anyway, I talked DH into DODR instead of just plain refusing and then when DS realised it wasn't happening when it was supposed to, he asked a lot and realised he got fed more often too. So instead of reducing from 3 to 2 feeds, it increased the number of feeds and NF's came back shortly after that with teeth, etc.
Ah well, just nice to know others are still feeding at this age too.
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Why doesn't he want him feeding past 2yo Bec? Does he know the WHO recs are 2yo and beyond? It is good for your LO and if you and he are happy to continue feeding then I don't know of any reason not to. Maybe your DH just needs to be better informed. I think because not many toddlers BF in public people mistakenly think it isn't happening or it is not normal when it is the most natural thing really.
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yeah bec- we're proudly still going now (i know your guy is older- but we aren't going to be winding up any time soon). We are only doing the 2 feeds- unless like tonight we are home late and he doesn't have an evening feed. That is working well for us and doesn't interfere with things at all. I would find the more 'on demand' style feeding to be more of a pain.
And i was always thinking that i'd wean at 2 years, but if i'm down to one feed by then i don't really see a need to stop- if it's one- or even 2 feeds it's in the privacy of your own home- so what's the problem!
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We're still doing once a day, Bec, at WU - we got rid of the BT feed about a month ago. And we also have the odd NF when teeth are bad :) I think what will signal it's time to end here will be if/when I'm pregnant again - I expect F will be 2 by then anyway - but otherwise I wouldn't be in any hurry to wean.
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Still going at BT here.
Although she was acting really weird tonight. Kept hitting herself in the head, pointing at her eye, rubbing her eye. Strange. I'm sure she was trying to communicate something, but not entirely sure what
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We are still doing 2 or 3 feeds at 17mo. I fed ? Until 2 and it just suddenly wasn't working for us. Lots of people pushed me to wean earlier but I am flag I waited until I was ready.
It was handy the last few days with B ill that I did a nf when he was suffering which really helped poor thing.
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Why doesn't he want him feeding past 2yo Bec?
Well, this is actually progress... he was wanting me to wean before 12 months initially ;) I think he sees him as a little boy now, not so much a baby :-\ I just know that he's my only baby and I don't want to stop until he's ready and he's definitely not ready. One day he will be and I will probably be sad but he still seeks me out for a quick BF in an overwhelming situation or when he's been at daycare all day just as a touchstone type thing which I think is important for him at the moment.
He does know the recommendations because I tell him them every time he makes comments - he doesn't even discuss it with me first, just tells L that he'll have to stop having milk soon which probably doesn't help either! DS understands, I'm sure.
I have been known to feed him on the boat on the way home from work recently. Nobody seems to even look strangely at me or anything, less so than when he was younger even. Maybe I just don't notice any more...
I'd love to be able to go 'back' to more routine-based, less demand-based feeds but now he's experienced demand-based, I think it will be tricky to go back simply because he asks a lot. I do say no sometimes because its just not practical at the time or whatever and sometimes he can be distracted with a piece of fruit and a cuddle or something.
It should be interesting if we visit the IL's for christmas - they looked at me funny feeding him at 8 months, let alone 20 :P
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Bec, DH was a little like that too, I think sometimes for men it's more they don't get the bond we have so to them it's just a feed KWiM? dH was always supportive, but would make silly comments about weaning ::)
You know....Z weaned himself when I got preg.... ;)
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No more babies for me! Not after HELLP and Pre-eclampsia and an unexpected trip to ICU :( I am incredibly lucky to have my health such as I do and to have Logan alive and healthy.
I think sometimes for men it's more they don't get the bond we have so to them it's just a feed KWiM?
Maybe this is it. I know DH wants them back to himself :P Given I didn't find BFing to be a bonding or even pleasant experience for so long initially, its nice to be enjoying it now. I was so jealous of people who felt like BFing was their special cuddle time with LO but now I get to feel that way too and I 'get' it.
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That's really nice Bec. :) Glad you're getting all that out of BFing. At some point, you'll both be ready to stop. DH can be part of that, but I think it's important that he realizes he's not the most important part of that decision, yk?
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^^ this!! I would suggest putting your energy into trying to reduce the feeds to something like 2 or 3 times a day, and perhaps not at night? (all up to you of course). I just find that on 2 feeds at the moment it really doesn't impact our life very much, so it's less easy for your DH to comment. You know- like a comprimise.. so rather than trying to cut out all together or worrying about how/when you're going to do that just take it one step at a time... Anyway- it will become clear when it's time.
Not time for us though- although i swear he said 'NO! NO! NO!' in relation to a bed time feed the other night ::) (I think that might have been part of a general bed time reluctance) in the mornings it's a very clear "MAMA!, Go (milk)' then very quickly after that 'Peppa pi' ::)
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Not at night is my priority at the moment ;) We're down to one or two very short ones with decent stretches between which is better than what was happening recently :-[ Needless to say, I'm not one to be advising on boob prop with toddlers :P
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LOL, we all have our props. :) When Katie was 16ish months old, she spent so many nights in our bed that when she cried at night and I got up to get her by the time I made it to her room, she had generally already "packed up" -- holding on to her sippy cup, her lovey, and usually another stray stuffed animal or book. ::)
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nah- it's only a prop if it's a problem! We only relatively recently ditched the night feeds ourselves... And i can say that it's heaps better without- so if you are wanting to drop it consider me your personal cheer squad! Ours were getting silly though and turning into long wakings.
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I know DH wants them back to himself Given I didn't find BFing to be a bonding or even pleasant experience for so long initially, its nice to be enjoying it now. I was so jealous of people who felt like BFing was their special cuddle time with LO but now I get to feel that way too and I 'get' it.
^^THis here on both counts too :-*
it's only a prop if it's a problem! We only relatively recently ditched the night feeds ourselves... And i can say that it's heaps better without- so if you are wanting to drop it consider me your personal cheer squad! Ours were getting silly though and turning into long wakings.
Totally agree its only a prop if its not working for your and/or LO.
We had NF on and off for a long time - luckily it was never a real prop in that Z typically would STTN for a bit, then not then would ::)
TBH I have a pretty touchy and spirited guy, he is very persistent and intense as well, and dropping the NF was not that bad when the time came, DH helped A LOT though as I didn't want to go in and not offer so he did WI/WO...when the time comes Katy and I will rally around ya! ;)
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I think we might be coming to the end :(
Or there's something weird going on with DD's mouth! She's only having a BT nurse still, but she's slurping at the breast and almost seems to have forgotten how to latch on properly :-\
The weird thing is that she seems genuinely excited about nursing before we actually start. ???
Confused
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nah- it's only a prop if it's a problem! We only relatively recently ditched the night feeds ourselves... And i can say that it's heaps better without- so if you are wanting to drop it consider me your personal cheer squad! Ours were getting silly though and turning into long wakings.
Ugh, I *need* to drop our nightfeed(s) - I am so past it now, and feel resentful every night for being woken out of deep sleep :-[...especially because it often takes me 2 hours to get back to sleep ::). What do you ladies recommend for how to go about it? DH is happy to do whatever is needed of him. Perhaps I should post on the main board as she is losing weight (has been for the past 3 months :(), and not eating a great deal in the day. She's MSPI so I'm keen to keep as many feeds in as necessary but I wonder if this huge nf is effecting her appetite :-\. But then I don't want to cut it if it is helping her calorie wise ???.
I think we might be coming to the end :(
Or there's something weird going on with DD's mouth! She's only having a BT nurse still, but she's slurping at the breast and almost seems to have forgotten how to latch on properly :-\
The weird thing is that she seems genuinely excited about nursing before we actually start. ???
Confused
Teeth ???
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Tough call, Claire. :-\
And could well be teeth. Poor lass still only has 9 (with #10 having been trying to get through for at least a fortnight!)
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Can you cut duration, Claire? to give her a chance to transfer calories to the day more slowly?
Teeth change the latch here too, Amanda. Feels like he's biting when he's not...
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she's slurping at the breast and almost seems to have forgotten how to latch on properly
That describes F EXACTLY this morning - ouch! And I'm pretty sure it's the last canine.
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I think it's funny how toddlers can be 'boss of the boob' ... you know- 'i'm sooo good at this i don't even have to use a standard sucking techinique'! Hamish has been having a few LONG evening feeds- very clearly there for the comfort- and towards the end gets a bit lazy and the teeth start just easing their way in! OW! Pretty nice though- beats a squirmer or a bite and giggle attack!
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Mmm, no pain here for me. She gets a good latch and then it's like her mouth can't keep the suction so she slurps. Think I said before, it's like she's forgotten how to nurse ???
I guess I always said that I wanted to let her self-wean and if this is it then I'm going to have to accept that. I'd sort of hoped we'd get to 2 years, but we're close enough
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:-*
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Hello hello! Jumping on for my second spin around on this thread as Audrey is going to be one in a couple of weeks!! (and also ??? How did that happen?)
She's still having 4-5- sometimes even 6 BF in a day and seems to need it more emotionally than I remember with Stan. I hope we'll be here for another year, or six months at least!
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:D Yay anna!! I also can't believe it- it seems like only a short time ago she was born!
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Welcome Anna and Audrey
Amanda, I'm sure Cadan did something similar when he got new teeth but it didn't last long and then he was back to doing it properly.
We are still feeding 3-4 times a day depending on whether he has one or two naps as well as a BF 4-5a most nights although sometimes this replaces the morning feed. I'd love to do just 3 regular feeds on WU, after nap and BT. We are having some sleep issues after an illness though and that is mucking everything up with NWs (6 last night!), EWs (5.20 this morning) and some short naps of 45mins. We're going on holiday this week though so I'm only doing so much to sort it all out because I know sleep and feeds will be all over the place with 6.30am flights, a time difference and all of us sharing a room.
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I'd so save any adjustments till after the holiday- at least then you'll know he's well over the illness.
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Yeah and no point working so hard to put things right only to resort to BFs at night on holiday if I get desperate not to wake Cadan.
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Hi Anna :)
She basically didn't even try tonight :'( But the rear part of her top molar has come through now and the bottom one feels like it's going to pop through anytime now, so I'll carry on offering for now. She's also really snotty, which may or may not be teeth related
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How are things Amanda?
Until E was about 14 months old she was quite happy having 3 or 4 feeds per day, but the last few weeks she is just signing for milk all. the. time. It's driving me batty ::), and I don't really know how I should handle it ???. Up until now I have been trying to just distract her - offering food or drink, or attempting to 'change the subject :P' - but then I feel bad! I'm presuming this is a new phase - how have you ladies dealt with it?
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Can you acknowledge the sign without necessarily giving her milk? Like say "Yes! You can sign milk! But it's not milk time right now honey here let me get you a snack and we will have milk after nap time, can you sign 'snack'"
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Yeah- i ould sort of acknowledge the request and say 'ah yes- milk, it's not milk time.. milk is at bed time' (or whenever) Hamish will at times point to my cleavage and say 'milk!' (or use his word 'go' for it)- sort of because he thinks of it and sees my boobs... it's almost more a point of conversation rather than a genuine request really. So i often say 'yes, that's where the milk comes from- but it's not milk time now! It's not bed time! (in a sort of amused 'what a silly joke' tone) ' . He;s never been a demander or really asked for it, and so we've not really given it to him willy-nilly through the day (that sounds insulting- i dont mean it to) so it's not as much of an issue to put him off...
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So i often say 'yes, that's where the milk comes from- but it's not milk time now!
I say something along these lines too. F used to sign milk when she saw me in the shower, or when folding washing and she found one of my bras etc. More as an observation than a request. I would just acknowledge and move on, with distraction if necessary. (But if I thought she was really requesting because she was feeling unwell, upset etc, then I would feed.)
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None of mine has ever really asked for it as such. Although we have fed at fairly set times from the beginning, so I guess they never really got the idea that asking would do any good!
I thought that x was dropping his evening feed - the last bit we go into his room, he puts his thumb in his mouth, I take his thumb out to put my boob in (:P), he feeds in a fairly perfunctory manner, I take him off, he screams, I put him in his bed and that's that. So I decided to try putting him down without feeding him this evening - apparently he's not done with that feed after all! :D
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Thanks all. This is pretty much what I've been doing - so will just carry on! I haven't been feeding her more regularly as I know it will lead to snacking, but sometimes she will follow me around signing it and clearly wants to be fed :-\ (but then is not bothered about eating so I know she's not very hungry :-\). She is dropping centiles for weight, and is MSPI, which makes the whole thing feel a bit less clear cut for me iyswim.
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Claire, thanks for asking after us :-* She didn't like the idea of having anything from lefty tonight ;) but had a reasonably good go at the right. She's had two teeth start cutting through in the last week, so imagine much of it has been that.
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Amanda, Maybe try a rugby hold for lefty if it is the teething.
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Claire- Could you try perhaps saying 'no milk- but lets have a cuddle' or read a book or something? She may not be after the milk as such but the closeness and cuddle time it means? Tricky- but you could try some of the old tricks like wearing clothes that are tricky to nurse in, or hard for her to pull at... ?
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(((hugs))) Claire yeh I can see it would make it harder to say no if she's not gaining weight well :/
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Lynds - our chair won't really accommodate that, unfortunately :-\ She had a completely meltdown tonight as DS's cap had been left in her room and she wanted to wear it to bed ::) Took me about 10 minutes to calm her down at which point she completely refused lefty, but took the right again. Sigh. I guess if she's happy with that...
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I have a friend who only fed from one side for about 6 months - it can be done!
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She's never got on well with the left one anyway. That one got the most trauma before her PTT was divided. :-\
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What about nursing laying down on your side?
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I feed her in her room in the near dark before putting her into bed. I've always been rubbish at trying to move a sleeping/near asleep small person and just feel the trip across the hall wouldn't be great for her. If she's happy to feed from the right and leave the left, I'm happy to go along with her. It could just be that we're coming to the end.
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I think we have a pretty bad breastfeeding prop at night :( I really can't keep getting up 2-3 times each night. DH can't go, he's driving too far on too dangerous a road for work and needs his sleep and I basically am in the position of keeping DS quiet so DH can sleep. DH went in once on Friday night and DS just asked for me. Knowing we weren't going to be consistent about any kind of sleep training, I just got up and went to him. The thing is, its putting everything else out of whack, his nap in the day is ridiculously long (2.5-3hr). Having said this, there was a wonderful night (just the one) that he STTN, so I know he can do it.
There is no no-cry solution, I know. I'm considering taking up a demanding exercise regimen in the hopes my oversupply will 'dry up' and he'll become uninterested... maybe even meds to stop milk production :-\
I don't want to stop BF, just don't want to BF at BT and 2-3 times through the night and then not again til BT! The 17-18hr gap is madness, I shouldn't be getting engorged after feeding for 18 months ::) I'd be happy with BT and WU. How to achieve that is something I can't yet decide.
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Ok- if it were me i'd go for getting rid of all of the night feeds- it's sort of easier to say- no feeds, rather than no feed THIS waking and not THAT waking. I would say too that it should take you only a couple of nights to get rid of it- can you perhaps wait until you have a long weekend or something? We generally have done the 'do anything except feed' option.. so holding him still to get him settled. The good thing about the most recent time we did this is that he understood what i meant when i said 'no milk' .... I offerred water instead just in case he was thirsty.
Just a thought- i'd wait till you're ready though... it can be a real pain... I would think though you'd be better to try to reduce the feeds yourself rather than taking meds or anything like that... just my thoughts though...
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Ok- if it were me i'd go for getting rid of all of the night feeds- it's sort of easier to say- no feeds, rather than no feed THIS waking and not THAT waking.
This is what I tried last time, but DH would get to 4am and whinge that he was tired and needed a couple of hours of sleep and say I should go in and feed, so we basically taught him that if mummy goes in, he gets fed ::) That was DH's only attempt at assisting with sleep training and I might as well not have bothered, so it will be just me this time, hard as that will be or I will go away for a few days and leave the boys to it ;)
Silly thing is that he goes to bed completely independently and then wants milk through the night :(
I guess I'm just thinking meds because at least there'd be no milk there and he might decide to drop it himself once he's not getting anything, though I do wonder if he'd still want to suckle :-\
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I did it myself this time- DH did it at 11 months and then it was sort of my fault that it came back- so i just sucked it up and held him and said 'no milk' ... ::) He doesn't need it- it's just a habit thing i'd say..
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((hugs)) hun I agree with Katy, I'd tackle the sleep training myself and keep BF for bedtime and first thing in the am. Yes it will be hard but not impossible, yk? Get DH some earplugs and just deal with it like us mamas do. It'll be a few sleepless nights but then you'll BOTH be better rested.
So Audrey's top two teeth have been through for a while but they're really hurting me when she BFs. Her latch is pretty good I think. Her tongue obviously covers her bottom teeth but her top ones sort of graze very very slightly back and forth with each suck, so by the end of the feed it's REALLY sore and sometimes I have to stop her on one side and swap her over just because it's hurting too much. This doesn't seem like the kind of thing that's going to get better?
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Oh- and reading back it sounds like i HELD HIM WHILE HE SCREAMED FOR HOURS!!! It really wasn't that dramatic.. at this age it is such a clear protesting cry rather than a sort of 'but mum WHY WHY!!!!' sort of thing.. i just sat on the lounge and calmly told him it was sleeping time...
Is she teething or has a cold or anything anna? someone said that if they have extra saliva for whatever reason (illness, teething) this can cause more irritation to you than at other times. I had this at 11 months or so and had to try the football hold for a bit- was ridiculous as he was huge- but it worked a treat- gave me a chance to heal...
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Anna, yes maybe different holds if she'll have it? Try relatching maybe?
Bec, L understands things pretty well, maybe just explain to him that there's no more milk at night and stick to it? Maybe take the front half of the night and have dh do the second half so you won't be available if your resolve weakens after some hours?
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whatever you do- don't decide to do it the night before work! You will give up after 5 mins! (or i would....)
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Hugs Bec.
L understands things pretty well, maybe just explain to him that there's no more milk at night and stick to it?
By this age I could tell F that the mama boobies were busy sleeping and making yummy milk for the morning. She would generally accept that explanation, even if she was still a bit unhappy about it. (Now she often wakes shouting "morning time! Mama boobies not sleep anymore!" or some variation - don't see this child weaning any time soon... ;D)
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*hugs* Bec - he hasn't got some teeth bothering him or something? Might explain the requirement for that sort of comfort in the night (breastmilk having some analgesic properties and all). And agree about getting DH some earplugs if he needs his sleep and you're going to be dealing with it (as long as he gives you a lie in on the weekend :P )
Anna, D was the same when her top teeth were coming through and it's definitely better now. I think it takes them a little while to work out what to do with these weird sharp things in their mouths and to adjust their latch to accommodate that.
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Oh- and reading back it sounds like i HELD HIM WHILE HE SCREAMED FOR HOURS!!!
See, this is the difference. I don't know if spirited persistence of what, but Logan screamed for 3hr with DH (imagine if it had been me :o ) and DH buckled and yelled at me to just feed him, why would I stop feeding him if he wants it so much?! :'( That's the longest he screamed (and it was on day 6) but we stopped after that because I see it as pointless to feed him after he's screamed for 3hr. Just reinforces that he should scream long and loud enough and he'll get fed >:(
Amanda, I get the teeth thing, I do but that's been the argument on and off for 6 months now and in between, its been illness, mental leap, SA.
Having said all that, he slept a 9hr stretch last night and I woke 4 times because my body is so used to anticipating when he's going to wake ::) At 4:30, just as I was thinking he'd STTN, he woke and wanted me, but he's still asleep now at 6:20 which is awesome since he was in bed last night at 7:20 off the back of a 3hr nap and a 4hr10 A time after that. Maybe he's waking from OT and we just have to get more sleep into him... how I don't know because we're just not at home long enough at night for him to have a 12hr night on a regular basis :-\
Bec, L understands things pretty well, maybe just explain to him that there's no more milk at night and stick to it?
Lovely thought, and I really don't want to minimise any of you lovely ladies' suggestions at all. Last time I did this (around 16 months I think), he woke and yelled out 'mummy' instead of just crying and then when I reminded him no milk, oh wow did he go nuts! He bit me, pulled my hair, scratched me and screamed the house down - it was awful.
My resolve to wean is gone again this morning ::) maybe I was just grumpy and tired :P
Anna - Logan's front teeth did graze me quite a bit when he got them and sometimes if he was teething. I would just put that breast away and say it was sore and he'd somehow compensate on the other side, so I think he eventually learned that whatever he was doing wasn't on. That was only ok after he'd had a go feeding from it though, refuse to give him a breast in the first place and he'd act as if I'd said I'd never feed him again.
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Ah Bec, I wasn't suggesting feeding him, just why he might be waking for it. What about trying out some pain meds before bed to see if that makes a difference? It may be you've tried that already, though :-\
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Ah Bec, I wasn't suggesting feeding him, just why he might be waking for it.
ok ;) All 1yr molars and canines are in fully and he's 18 months... could he really be getting 2yr molars already? seems early :-\
Pain meds are difficult here, anything that works has nasty side-effects for him. :( I really have to *know* he's in pain to use the only one left in my arsenal that he can have because it has codeine in it and that freaks me out and constipates him.
This morning, I feel like I'm happy to ride it out, he's STTN onec and done a 9hr stretch in the space or 2-3 weeks. That's an improvement of sorts :-[
Man, I'm chicken!
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Anything after 12m is the 2nd year :-\ D will be 3 before she gets hers :P
Shame about the pain meds :( Is it the same for something topical like a gel or liquid? :(
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Quote from: Erin M on Today at 08:32:45 AM
Bec, L understands things pretty well, maybe just explain to him that there's no more milk at night and stick to it?
Lovely thought, and I really don't want to minimise any of you lovely ladies' suggestions at all. Last time I did this (around 16 months I think), he woke and yelled out 'mummy' instead of just crying and then when I reminded him no milk, oh wow did he go nuts! He bit me, pulled my hair, scratched me and screamed the house down - it was awful.
LOL, I only said he'd understand what you meant, not that he'd be happy about it. Listen, you know what you're in for, and you know what you need to do. DH would say it's a cost-benefit analysis, businessman that he is -- at what point is the time you're going to put into getting him through the night without the boob going to work out, yk? I'll be happy to cheer you on whenever you do decide, but if you're more or less ok with it, just go with it for now. :) xo
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Bec - it sound like we're in a similar position. Ev still wakes at least once per night for a feed, and we are dreading trying to sort it out as she is so ridiculously spirited that she will scream for hours rather than give in!! We are going to attempt it this week though as I am so sick of being up at 3am - particularly because I can't get back to sleep afterwards ::). When we do any night time sleep training DH always goes to bed at 8pm so that he gets an ok amount of sleep overall - would that work for you guys?
On a side note - I can't believe all his teeth! E is almost 16 months and has one and a bit teeth through :P
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When we do any night time sleep training DH always goes to bed at 8pm so that he gets an ok amount of sleep overall - would that work for you guys?
We're both HSN ourselves... we already go to bed at 8pm :-[
I'll cheer you on if you decide to go for it, Claire! It's frustrating isn't it! :-*
she is so ridiculously spirited that she will scream for hours rather than give in!!
This is what I struggle with, TBH. We were on night SIX and that was when he screamed for 3hr straight :( and that wasn't even with me in the room.
I was all steamed up when I posted before but in reality I just can't face the hours of screaming and the night terrors that come with the OT that results from such a long NW. I guess maybe I see meds to stop my milk as the easy way out ::) because then there's just nothing there and he'll twig that there's no point him waking rather than me saying no despite soaking through two face washers and two padded nursing bras and being in pain from the engorgement.
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Yeah- i agree with erin's very formal analysis of the situation- do it when you're ready, and that it's wort it! Am totally understanding of people feeding in the night.
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My boys were always much more amenable to being resettled without feeding earlier in the night and even now I resettle Colby before 4 or 5am and only feed after that. Would that work for you Bec? And I actually find it better to resettle Colby myself because he seems to panic if DH tends to him since he is more used to me. Maybe L would be the same and you staying away actually meant he cried for longer because he was worrying where you were. Cadan was the opposite and DH did the NF weaning more easily. I think it depends on the LO and also how used to it they are for Daddy to put them to sleep. So DH aways put Cadan to bed at BT whereas it is I who puts Colby in the cot.
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It doesn't seem to matter if its me or DH TBH :( He just wants milk and mummy-snuggles but mummy-snuggles only will not suffice.
Thing is, he pushed all his NF's out on his own when he was younger and he STTN for 5-6 months from 6 months til 11.5 months then I started a little feed at 5am and its snowballed from there. I guess I feel like its my fault we're in this position too.
Well, I guess I've proven to myself that I'm not ready ;) Thanks for helping me talk it through, lovelies :-*
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LOL! It won't be forever....
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There is no point in trying any sort of sleep training when you're not ready. In my experience, once you are ready it's fairly straight forward - and with my 3 it is like they have know that I really meant it and it hasn't been too difficult. I tried sleep training e when she was about 1, and she screamed solidly for 4 hours, 2 nights in a row, at which point I came to the conclusion that she had more stamina than I did. :P I decided that it wasn't worth that to get her to sleep through, but when I did it at 18 months, the first night she cried for 1.5h, the second she whimpered for about 45 minutes and the third night she woke up, squeaked once, and went back to sleep! With m (who was an angel baby) all it took was me telling my friends in the morning that enough was enough and I wasn't feeding her at night any more and she never woke up in the night again! :P
If you do want to give it a go, do you think it is worth trying giving him a bottle of water? The theory is that it fills their tummies but in the long run it's not worth waking up for so they give up of their own accord. Haven't tried it myself, and I'm fairly sure I know what x would say if I tried giving him water instead of milk, but a lot of people say it works.
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See- we do the water trick, but offered it in a cup. It worked to a degree- in that the wakings have reduced- but he will now ask for a 'drink' any time he does wake!! Not sure if it's an issue or not... ::)
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Audrey makes kissy noises if she's eating something really yummy... she's started breaking off nursing to let me know that it's really yummy. :-* :-* ;D
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Awww, so cute!!!
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Sweet. I got myself ready for feeding D tonight before bed and she just walked up to me and tried to latch on with her standing up! Her little face said "I'm not really sure I ought to be doing this, but I'm going to give it a go". Cheeky
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LOL Amanda, I fed DS with me lying on the couch and him standing beside it at 7-8 months when he just wanted to stand and wouldn't sit to feed :P Funny what they'll/we'll do, eh?
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Oh god- i saw this and thought it was VERY us!!
http://pinterest.com/pin/181762534932373494/?fb_action_ids=10151334424763060&fb_action_types=pinterestapp%3Apin&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7B%2210151334424763060%22%3A278292598941074%7D&action_type_map=%7B%2210151334424763060%22%3A%22pinterestapp%3Apin%22%7D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D
hmm- did that link work?
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HAH! Yes.
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ROFL! I gave up reading/using a phone/breathing ;) while feeding her ages ago!! ;D
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So true! :D
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Haha. I do still BW on my phone while BFing. Colby actually brings me my phone and feeding pillow when he wants a boob occasionally. I think he has just got used to it.
Today I inadvertently skipped the daytime feeds as we were out so we just had 5am EW (back to sleep in my bed til 7.40) and BT. Opps!
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I think Audrey uses BF time as 'thinking' time... she will lie there nursing away for a few minutes, but then suddenly sit up to practice a few signs, or practice saying something, or practice her false laugh or whatever. Cute... the first time. The 50th time, not so much.
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LOL Anna.
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Haha! F used to "chat" away in sign during her bedtime feed too (I think to herself, usually!), but she didn't generally stop feeding to do it. She doesn't do it anymore now that we're just on WU feed though, boo. It was generally good amusement for me!
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Hamish will sometimes stop to chat.. he of course refuses to sign ::) But as the aim is talking he is going quite well with that. Can i just add that his first 3 word sentence was "No da (cuddle) mama' :o how rude!!
On the milk front (what is this thread about again? ) Hamish still has a bed time feed- but some nights when he's fussing around and not wanting to go to sleep at bed time he will ask for a drink- sometimes not even 10 minutes after the milk feed!! Could he be actually thirsty this soon after the milk? Is is just bed time delaying tactics? They are so crafty!!
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Could be a bit of both, Katy. DS used to ask for drinks to delay (still does, actually!!)
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Aud is teething but she is asking to BF All. The. Time. Like, every hour. Any time I am sitting down, she comes over, asks for up on my lap, the starts whining and signing milk and trying to pull my clothes off. This is at home or out and about. I figure she wants the comfort but she is not happy with just cuddles. I can distract her but she gets upset. She's waking earlier in the night wanting to Bf too (2am instead of 4-5). Should I be strict and settle her without Bf in the night too? I've been thinking its about time we drop that last EW/NF but I'm so terrified of getting stuck with a regular EW...
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Anna, we were in the same position but I weaned 9 nights ago and haven't looked back. I think we had 2 days when he woke before 6 and didn't get back to sleep but then on day 3 he did go back to sleep and since then he gas hardly woken at that time. He does sometimes have a NW or two earlier in the night but I simply tell him it's still sleepy time and he now lays down and goes back to sleep.
So I think it depends in whether you want to still offer a NF and if so then it's fine. If not then I'd wean it.
Colby is doing this annoying thing of constantly wanting to switch breasts. Sometimes he will change half a dozen times. And he is never finished I always just say last bit when I've had enough and next time he comes off I cut him off. He is normally ok after a 5 second protest, even at BT. Anyone else do that?
He is also doing a cute thing while BFing. He unlatches and lays his head on my breast and smiles up at me. An he sometimes wibbles his bottom lip with his fingers to make a funny noise. I ask him if he's wobbling and he says yeah. He doesit when self-settling in his cot too.
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Colby is doing this annoying thing of constantly wanting to switch breasts. Sometimes he will change half a dozen times. And he is never finished I always just say last bit when I've had enough and next time he comes off I cut him off. He is normally ok after a 5 second protest, even at BT. Anyone else do that?
Yep! Have to otherwise I'd be there forever ::)
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Does anyone know if there's any statistics that show how likely it is that your supply will be affected by weaning at night? With a 22 month old.
I don't think we're ready to do it at all yet, but in very tired moments, the thought strikes me.
He often sleeps through, from his bed time (usually around 6.30 pm.) to 5-6 am. and nurses then before sleeping a few more hours. Sometimes he wakes around 10-11 pm. and nurses in addition.
But sometimes, he wakes once or twice in the night too, and nurses, and sometimes he just wants to nurse for a looong time (use me as a paci for a while, really, and he doesn't use one), and I'm not always thrilled about it.
I really do want to keep nursing longer though, like, I would be very sad if I lost my supply now. That's why I'm askin'. I want to nurse him through the winter, and past his 2nd b'day. But I will probably stop the night feeds somtime in the spring.
And while we're on the subject, I feel like I should be the one to wean him of those. That I should at least be there for comfort. It won't be too frustrating for him to have me there and not get to nurse, right?
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I don't know about stats, but with my first I stopped feeding him overnight when he was about 10 months old, after that it was just morning and bedtime feeds, and my supply was fine, and I nursed at those feeds (and sometimes during the day, and occasionally at night if he was sick) until around his 2nd birthday.
If you're cosleeping and wanting to wean the night feeds, this is a really great link: http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
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Solene again, not sure about the night feeds and supply stats but like Anna I weaned my first at around 1yo of night feeds and fed him until 26mo with no supply issues. I recently weaned the NF with ds2 at 15mo and haven't noticed any dip in supply again. We are on 2 or 3 feeds a day now, Wu, midday and BT. We sometimes skip the midday feed if out and then I do get very full by BT.
I'm so happy I weaned the NF as he is still sleeping to a reasonable time in the morning (7.30am this morning) and I had feared it would mean him staying up after the typical 5-6am EW we were having with the NF.
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Oh, meant to say I weaned the NFs with DS2 but DH did it with DS1 as he was so used to daddy putting him to bed and dealing with NWs we didn't feed at and always settled more quickly for him. I wouldn't have let anyone he wasn't so used to being comforted by do it though.
I just told them mummy's boobs are sleeping when I had to deal myself. They are old enough to understand after 1yo I think, at least partially.
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Yeah- i weaned night feeds at 10 months and then again at about 14 months or so and haven't done a night feed for a very long time now and my supply has been fine all the way along. There even seems to be SOME there on the odd night i've given him a night feed. Hamish totally understood second time around- in that he still cried and complained- but it was much more of a protest..
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My lo is a little younger but I weaned nfs about 7/8 months ago and have been doing morning and bt without any supply issues. I'm sure that you can wean nfs and still be able to nurse.
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Thank you, ladies!
We'll probably just see how it goes without making a plan. I figure that if I suddenly just get a "enough!" feeling, he will get it. And if I don't, we can wait until spring. It would brake my heart if I lost supply, and I'm just not sure I am up for that right now with all the other things going on. I know most don't have issues with it, that's why I was wondering if anybody knew the exact risk here.
We do co-sleep for the most part. He has started (by his own initiative) to go to bed in his bed (same room), but he comes over to me during the night. I love co-sleeping, and I think we need it now. My daughter sleeps with me too.
We did think that daddy might just comfort him when we weaned the nfs, but since he died, it's really all on me. My only other option is grandma, he loves grandma and is very close with her (they are together a lot) and lets her put him to bed and such. But I think I wanna do it.
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Yeah if you want to do it then why not. You know to whom he would respond best I bet.
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Ali, that's the thing. I'm normally very sure and secure in my parenting. Now though, I'm questioning *everything* and feel like I don't know anything. Gah.
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(((hugs))) Solene, just do what feels right. If it doesn't feel like it's the time, then don't do it.
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Well Misha is finally weaned I think. He is 2 years 2 months and 2 weeks...
Poor chap he still sighs about it dreamily. For the last month it was on and off ( if I was late home) but he wanted it and would wake up at night sometimes if he missed the night feed. The am feed was first to go. But it was kind of on demand. Then slowly he would go a day without a feed then the next day he would go back to it. Still my milk was going down. So I would give formula first and top up with BF, and I would say, empty, no more left etc. so he would feeel me up and go 'empty', big sigh. Then slowly he moved on from it and I think we have not had a BF since last week, but can't be sure. We still have cuddles. Today he had a look and said, 'Agu'. Then another look and he said 'for baby'. ( earlier in the week we had a friend come over and he saw her nurse her baby). So I said, yes, it is for baby but you are my big boy, my best big boy. So he was content with that and a cuddle.
I am a bit sad, but at the same time it was so gradual, we were both ready for it. At 2 he knows and understands a fair bit. Plus he started potty training a month ago and that sort of made him more of a 'big boy'. Best bit is that we had a milk challenge last week and we passed, so after a year's withdrawal we can reintroduce dairy!
Thanks ladies for all your support on this board over last year+!!!
Solene, I don't know of any stats but supply as you know is very much based on demand. So if you wean him of NF he will just catch up on the milk he wanted at your am feed. That said, some nihgts it felt like M was just unconsolable and then BF was like a dummy and it had nothing to do with supply. My point is I would not worry about it, esp. given everything else you have in your life. It will sort of sort itself out based on your LOs ideas/ love of BF.
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Well done, Kate. What stars you both are :)
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Thanks a lot!
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That is a fantastic time to have been breast feeding. That was the age I weaned Cadan (well 26mo exactly for us) and it was a nice gradual wean like yours. Enjoy those special cuddles. And just in time for a Christmas drink or two if you are that way inclined ;)
Colby is still feeding morning and BT and most days after lunchtime too unless we are out and then it doesn't really occur to either of us to have it. He has just started saying boobie (berber) and something like "arna" when he wants the other one. He seems to want it more lately although he is teething. A couple of times this week he skipped the lunch feed because we were out and then asked before dinner after a late nap. So we had a quick one but he is easily distracted.
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Great job Kate!
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Lovely that you've had such a long breastfeeding relationship, Kate, and that it's ended so gradually and naturally :)
I think I'll be there soon with F - in general she's been less and less interested in the mornings recently, although occasionally she does wake calling for mama milk. I think the miscarriage this week has probably affected my supply too and there hasn't been much there. That said, she asked for mama milk after her nap yesterday, the first time in MONTHS - so I said ok, but by the time I'd got her up and sat her on the potty, she wasn't interested anymore and ran off to play ::)
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Oh, Nuala, sorry to hear about your loss... HUGS (((())))
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Nice work Kate!
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Oh Papaya I'm so sorry for your loss! Although I don't really know you, you strike me as a lovely, caring person, probably someone i would be friends with IRL and I wish you well xxx Hugs to you and your family xx
Just want to come on and share. My little dude is 20ish months and we are dropping the bfing slowly slowly. We are down to once every 2 days (on my mornings, DP gets up with him alternate mornings) I'm not entirely sure how we are going to drop that habit but I'm sure it will happen soon. Its been an amazing experience, with highs and lows of course.
I've been quite reflective recently and I'm just starting to realise how deeply his birth has affected me. I had wanted a home birth, but after my waters broke at 36+ weeks I found myself on the cascade of intervention, and heading towards my birthing nightmare. I was finally induced 4 days later after fighting all the way to try and retain some control over my body and the birth of my child. At one point I was 15mins away from a c section, but fortunately I managed to get him out myself, without the aid of pain relief, for which I am extremely proud of myself. My recently come to the realisation that this experience has left me a little bitter towards people who managed to have the beautiful peaceful birth that I craved and hoped, and I have a lot of anger at the loss of my one chance to have this experience.
8 months ago I was wondering how on earth I was supposed to give up BF when clearly my 8 times a day boy wasn't ready and it just seemed so soon and wrong to be stopping. It was this forum that made me realise that not only did I not have to give up, but it was healthy to keep going and finally that I really didn't want to give up anyway.
I think my point is that although the birth didn't go nearly the way that I wanted it to, at least I have had the priviledge of being able to BF my beautiful spirited boy for as long as I have. Many of my friends have missed out on this experience due to misinformation rather than anything medical, so I feel lucky to have had this forum. The wisdom and knowledge of the women on here is priceless and I'm so grateful.
Merry christmas you guys, keep up the good work xxx
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Hugs Hayley. When I weaned Cadan at 26mo I did so by offering a treat for breakfast (coco pops or hot chocolate) which I offered the moment I burst into his room with an upbeat "morning, would you like coco pops for breakfast this morning?" I did that type of distraction and let DH get him up on when he could and then when he eventually asked after a few days I said chirpily that we didn't have boobs anymore and distracted with a toy.
Can your DH do all the mornings for a week or so just while you get him out of the BF habit? Maybe he could even go back to sleep after half hour when the moment has passed if you get super early mornings?
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Thanks Ali x
Can your DH do all the mornings for a week or so just while you get him out of the BF habit? Maybe he could even go back to sleep after half hour when the moment has passed if you get super early mornings?
I daren't even ask DP to do morning for a week although it has crossed my mind, he's such a bear in the mornings! Going back to bed after the moment has passed is a good idea tho, will put the idea to him carefully :)
Recently ds has started sleeping completely through so now is the time to try this, but I'm still in denial because WU is 6\6.30 whereas we used to have a NW between 4 and 5 and then sleep till 7/8. Boob can sometimes get us another 45mins to an hour of sleep (tho more rarely these days), so its a hard one to resist. So I BF in the hope of some extra sleep. We are staying with a friend over christmas, so will be all sleeping the same bed, I just know it'll be hard to resist the possibilities of keeping him quiet and getting more sleep! Its my prop!
I really don't think he's getting anything except comfort now anyway, he isn't swallowing very often and he pops off and asks for milk, has a drink and then wants more boob! He rarely asks for it during the day and its generally because he's thirsty so he's happy with a drink instead. This is what has made me feel its the right time, that and the thought of partaking in some christmas and new year cheer ;)
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Hayley we weaned Colby from an early morning BF about a month ago and I was petrified it would mean 5am starts since we did the same as you to get another hour or two. But he only did that for 3 days and then even if he woke he would go back to sleep with just a PD and our sleepy phrase. Now he is sttn until 7ish.
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Since we've reached 30 pages please continue chatting here Extended Nursing Support Thread Part 5