BabyWhispererForums.com
EAT => Eating For Toddlers => Topic started by: Mom to M&M on February 12, 2012, 17:55:09 pm
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I'm at a breaking point with the eating issues of my DS (will be 3 in June). He DOES have a dairy intolerance but other than that, no food allergies.
He was a decent enough eater until about 1.5. Not great, mind you but LOVED fresh fruit of all kinds, would let me feed him "adult food" like lasagna and chicken marsala from my fork, etc. Around 13 months he started getting pickier. At about 1.5 he got his one and only ear infection and it got WAY worse. He dropped almost all fresh fruits at that point except bananas and apple slices. Then somewhere between 2 and 2.25 he dropped those too.
He drinks NO milk (soy, coconut, anything) since we dropped his bottle. He is on a calcium supplement per his Ped and holistic practitioner. He WILL drink "juice" or water. His "juice" I make from blending a tiny bit of apple juice with lots of water, fresh fruits and avocado. And sometimes I throw carrot and/or spinach in there too.
He will eat: pancakes (homemade and VERY healthy - see below); challah french toast (again homemade and extra egg-y); multigrain waffles; oatmeal (occasionally); french toast sticks (homemade and multigrain); toasted whole wheat bagels with Earth Balance or Tofutti spreads; dry cereal; pasta (has to have red sauce or bolognese, needs the color for him. he does allow finely chopped broccoli in there too); pizza (homemade since have to use soy cheese and can add in chopped or pureed veggies); toast with Earth Balance spread; hot dogs (I buy all natural nitrate free ones); chicken nuggets (homemade is usually accepted); sweet potato fries; alphabet fries; soy yogurt; applesauce; broccoli potato pancakes (sometimes); roasted chickpeas; pistachio nuts; cashew nuts; crackers; and animal cookies.
I realize this list isn't HORRIBLE but it's not expanding at all and in fact becoming worse at times.
Other than the pasta (which he'd probably live on along with pancakes if he could) he TOTALLY refuses to use cutlery. For pasta he will take turns - whereby I spoon feed him a bite and then he has to spoon feed himself 1-2 bites, etc. But he refuses to do that at nursery, insisting on using his hands instead or not eating.
Ideas, thoughts? Where to start? This morning he ate 8(!) homemade silver dollar pancakes that I made using coconut milk, applesauce, whole wheat flour and ground oats. Then he had swimming. At noon I offered him his homemade meatballs (that he used to love) and applesauce but he refused both and is about to take a nap. Should I offer only his lunch after his nap instead of a snack (which would usually be either whole wheat crackers, roasted chickpeas or pistachio/cashew nuts)?
Sorry this is so long and jumbled. Many thanks in advance!
Ack!
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Ugh Karen, I'm sorry. I've got a picky eater too and I have lots of sympathy though not a ton of advice. I would re-offer lunch before a snack. Kate is 6 now and still doesn't eat a ton though she knows she has to eat fruit or veggies at each meal (depending on which meal it is) - we talk a lot about food groups, foods that have certain vitamins - might be something to work towards as he's still young. Will he try things? Katie has to try what we eat and she's expanded her foods from that. Not great advice I know, how about some (((hugs)))?
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Thanks Erin. I know I've posted on this topic before but it's been a while and it's not really getting better (and in some ways worse). And my Ped isn't much help at all of course (I love him but it's not his thing). He will NOT try things, and to be honest I've even tried "bribing" him as in "if you have some banana we can fly around the family room like Superman, etc". But it doesn't work. We talk about how Superman is big and strong because he eats fruits and vegetables and eggs and he likes to discuss it but won't try them. Sleep talk hasn't helped either. He will actually choose to skip meals and be crazy hungry (and then gets the terrible blood sugar tantrums) rather than eat something he doesn't want (like a banana or whatever).
He's napping now but should be up within a half hour. I guess will try his lunch again and if a no go will go for an early dinner. It's hard because his snacks are really healthy (the nuts and chickpeas and all) but I guess even that can fill him up so he won't eat a meal? I don't know at all anymore...
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Hi Karen - Been there, and still working through it in a lot of ways. I got some great advice from Deb in Oz who pointed me to a few websites and helped my DH and I come up with a plan. DS was a couple of months older than your DS when we started and I wish he had been a bit younger so I think your DS is a good age for it.
Read through this website to start -
http://www.ellynsatter.com/11-to-36-months-feeding-your-toddler-i-31.html
We adapted some things and used it as a good guideline for setting up a plan for going forwards. I have found it extremely helpful in changing our approach. I also found that it took a good read, a good talk with DH on setting up our agreed upon tactics and attitude we would take, which took a few conversations before we started changing the things we needed to change.
My DH jas JUST put on a movie and I have to go or I will miss the start, but promise I will be back to talk more, tomorrow...if I forget then ping me a PM!!!
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Thanks Mashi, I do recall you posting on the topic before. I will check out that website, I remember reading one of her books when DD was little - she's big on always having one thing on the table you KNOW they will eat, right? And I have tried that but then he only eats that item and nothing else?
Will have a read on that site later today though and would love to chat with you more, thanks again.
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she's big on always having one thing on the table you KNOW they will eat, right? And I have tried that but then he only eats that item and nothing else?
Yes, that is one of her main principles, but the big thing that DH and I found was that we had to change our attitude towards the latter part of what you said, that DS would only choose to eat one item and nothing else. And that is where the hard part comes in - you need to allow that. You can not make him eat anything and you can't have that much control. Make sure that there are food choices on the table, which includes something he likes, and allow him to choose to eat that and only that. It will take time but he will learn.
A huge key thing for us in getting DS to that point was in NOT SAYING A WORD. It was one of the hardest parts for DH and I and we would be kicking each other under the table (with the occassional shriek from DS "HEY! You kicked me!" when we missed :P). We kept conversation completely non-food related except for things like 'pass the butter' and DH had to refrain from his typical overexaggerated "OHH wow, this is SO yummy, thanks!" ::) No commenting. No praise for DS for trying something, no comments on what he did or did not eat, nothing AT ALL.
I would put everything out on the kitchen table - and our table is tiny so it took some shuffling most nights!! - and I tried to include some random things as well that DS had not seen before (ie we are a family of olive haters and I bought some olives to put out on a plate) just so that there were new things for DS to look at and decide if he wanted to choose them or not. He was allowed to reach and take whatever he wanted or not take whatever he wanted and his responsibility was getting it into his mouth. And key to the approach is also in allowing that - if he wanted to lean his face down and eat like a dog I would have said ok. The point is in getting him to put food into his body at this point...in 6 months time work on cutlery skills. Mind you my DS did not try to eat like a dog and I would have been clenching my jaw if he had, but DH and I discussed and agreed ahead of time that however he got the food into his mouth was his own choice and we would not interfere ONE BIT. We made everything his own choice and within his own control. And that was key - and DS learned VERY quickly that something different was going on at dinner and that there was no commenting on his food and he DID honestly start eating - not much mind you, and it is not like our problem is GONE but we made some HUGE steps in a short time (about 2 weeks).
After about 2 weeks of the no commenting, no assisting, no interfering approach, one Sunday my DH shouted out to me if I wanted soft boiled eggs for brunch. And did I want one, or two. DS shouted out that HE wanted one and we both stopped, gobsmacked, and stared at each other. Since about 12 months my DS had refused egg in any form (except hidden like in french toast for instance). We struggled to not remark with shock and DH just said ok. Cooked him an egg, called him to the table and he sat down, dipped a piece of toast in it and said it was good and he liked it, but then only ate that one bite, and finished off his toast. MASSIVE step IMO. He used to refuse to even sit at the table with us when we ate eggs. We had a few instances of things like this and we really felt a lot of load off of us as we were seeing the small improvements.
With modelling good eating habits and good food choices, as well as table manners and cutlery use, in time your DS *will* come to know how to do those things. He will not WANT to be stuffing food in with his fingers when no one else is, kwim? But at the moment, it can't be about manners and cutlery, it needs to be about eating and opening his idea to eating. Does that make sense?
One other thing I struggled with was not that he would choose only the ONE thing at the table, but that he wanted to fill up totally on that one thing. So he would always choose bread and just want 4 slices of it. So we did limit the item that he liked - so I would only put two slices of bread on the table and he and DH had to share them, and when it was gone, there was no more of that, but he could choose other things, or choose to be done. Many nights he chose to be done. We had a small bedtime snack each night but I made sure that it was not substantial and not too close to after dinner, but for us it is sort of a part of our family, kwim? I wanted there to be a snack in there so that on nights when he did not eat it was not like an alternative but no matter what, it was there. A piece of toast, a banana, cup of milk, etc.
It was about October when we started with this, and now 5 months later we are able to alter things a bit. Today I refused to let him leave the lunch table until he tasted his lunch. There were no options - we had chicken risotto and some cut up cold leftover chicken. He was allowed to choose one of those things to eat, but he DID need to eat. And he sat there insisting they were both yucky and he hated them,etc etc despite the fact that I know he likes chicken, and kindergarten claims he has been eating rice all month. And prior to that he had spat out even once grain of rice every single time it had ever been offered. Never once had a grain of rice been swallowed from 6 months old. About a week ago he had to answer some questions for a kg activity and he said his favourite food was rice ::) but I had still not seen him eat it. So today when I said we were having rice for lunch, he said that was great, he LOVES rice. ::) But then refused to even TASTE it. So I did force it - there are times when I end up saying something and kick myself because it is against our rules but then I feel the need to stick with it. It ended up with him sobbing at the table, and I told him to go find a quiet place to cry and be upset about it, and that he could stay there as long as he wanted, but that when he came out from there, he was going to taste the rice. (And he KNOWS that tasting means spitting out is okay so I was not asking much). He stayed away for about 5-7 minutes and came back and agreed to try the risotto. He ate a bite, instantly said "MMm, that's yummy mama, thanks!" And then refused to eat any more - because he didn't like it. ARGH. So I did make him sit there until he finished. Because it is definitely a mental thing at that point.
BUT I could not and did not do that at all 5 months ago when we started this approach. It took us nearly half a year to get to that! We do still try to stick to the rules of no commenting, no control, no rules and allow choice as much as possible but I find we do deviate a wee bit now that things have opened up. Sometimes it backfires and we need to go back to the start again. But truly, by taking all of the responsibilities off of me and allowing him full control things happened fast. Obviously by taking responsibility from me I do not mean he orders like it is a restaurant, I am sure you know how I mean :) Our meals are family friendly - he may not like chicken but chicken is a family and toddler friendly food that is easy for him to eat and it's not unreasonable to expect him to start trying it so I count that as family friendly iyswim? And our meals always include things he will like - a small serving of bread, a vegetable he likes (corn or peas or cooked carrots he can pick up with his fingers), a plate with some cut-up cheese, maybe some pickles, etc and then our main meal.
Sorry I have rambled on and on (I'm not into the movie DH chose!!!) and nto sure if I have offered anything helpful or not. Am happy to chat through it with you and support you in your journey :-* Deb in Oz has been a great shoulder and support for me in getting through this struggle and it meant a lot to me and made the world of difference to have someone to talk with about it along the way and am always happy to pass that support on as well. Even if you choose a different approach :-*
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{{{hugs hun}}}
I've just got your PM. we've moved house and only just got internet back up.
I know you are frustrated but I have to say that list of foods is pretty good. Actually not pretty good but very good. It looks like you have a good few options for all meal times and snacks so its not like he is eating the same things every day?
Is the main issue that he just won't tolerate trying anything new? Like he won't even entertain it? Will he lick/touch/bite new foods if there is no pressure to eat them?
What foods would you like him to be eating if we can come up with a plan?
At the minute if he refuses a meal you aren't providing an alternative is that right? So he's definately not holding out for something preferred?
{{{{hugs}}}}
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Posted with Mashi.
I really like that approach Mashi. That is naturally what I do and what I have done since M is little and what i do with R now. I just provide meals and the kids can eat or not eat. DH is a menace for cajoling and/or threatening ridiculous things for M not eating meals and it drives me mad.
I agree with Mashi though that we did get to the point where we had to change things up a bit as M was refusing all veg and limiting a bit and just refusing to try things so I did introduce that she had to try every thing on her plate. First 2 meals we did it she howled like a banshee and you'd have thought i was trying to poison her but i insisted and she did try each thing. Since then it has been much better and she is eating better and will try everything.
What age is your DS now? I started insisting on trying at just before 3 YO i think and she totally got it.
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Thanks Mashi and Shiv, you guys rock! He is two years and 8 months. He'll be 3 at the beginning of June.
Mashi, I don't care if he doesn't use cutlery per se. But I think it's really hampering his eating because he hates to have his hands messy/dirty. So he won't eat stuff that is too messy with his hands usually. And they are really trying to encourage using cutlery at school, at least on Fridays (when he has pasta). He will and does happily fill up on the small portion of the meal he likes, even if it means leaving himself a little hungry he won't try the rest.
Shiv, he will not try new foods at all. Sometimes he'll touch them but often he'll just yell and want them taken away.
BTW he did end up eating the meatballs after his nap. Not at first but eventually. He refused the applesauce with it, even though he loves applesauce. But he refused it because I wouldn't spoon feed it to him unless he took turns spooning himself. Which he refuses to do with a passion. He's currently refusing dinner.
So in addition to a food plan we should stick with refusing to spoon feed him pasta or yogurt or the like unless he'll at least take turns doing it himself, right? That may mean he doesn't eat the yogurt, etc but we'll see. And what if he doesn't eat lunch or dinner (he always eats breakfast)? Is there no afternoon snack then but only the meal re-offered? And what about the nights (many of them) that our family meal doesn't include ANYTHING that he likes? Like tomorrow night we are having leftover Shepherd's pie. He won't eat that. On the side DH and DD will have sourdough bread with butter (I'm gluten free) but DS doesn't like that. Let him have one piece of toast instead?
Sorry so many questions. Congrats on the move Shiv!
Thanks again, xoxo
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Ok, we're not as formalized as Mashi either, but we are actually kind of similar too (except dh always has a stupid comment, like just try it, it tastes like sausage - which dd2 loves - even if it tastes nothing like sausage, drives me crazy) - anyway, I always make sure there's something there she'll eat and sometimes when we eat things I know they don't like I'll do an alternate dinner. But that's just me -- dh and I were super picky kids and there's things both of us still won't eat from having it forced as kids, so I won't do that -- but there are plenty of people who will.
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Yea I don't want to force at all. Just don't know how to encourage better since nothing seems to be working!
He went to bed on an empty stomach tonight. He refused dinner (soup) and the offered breakfast cookie (which he used to but always refuses now) - they are homemade from oats, whole wheat flour, tofu, etc. He drank plenty of his "juice" (see above) so at least nutrients there but nothing to eat since the meatballs at 3:30. I did ask him if he wanted oatmeal before bed but he only wanted it if I'd feed him - which I didn't think I should?
I'm sure tomorrow morning he'll gorge himself on either homemade/healthy french toast sticks or waffle and then tomorrow at school is bagel day for lunch so that means toasted whole wheat bagel with Earth Balance spread. He always refuses the fresh fruit snack (despite them always offering and the other kids all partaking). Sigh.
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I'm sure you've done all of these things, but in case you haven't......
*turn foods into fun....decorate things to have silly faces, etc. Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes, raisins or chocolate chips added to them for eyes or smiles or whatever.
*let him make the food or pick something new when shopping at the store?
*let him put whatever spread, sauce, dip, whatever he likes on anything he wants. If my DD will eat xyz with ketchup on it....I'll go ahead and let her put some ketchup on it. If she liked salad dressing, I'd let her do that. If she liked syrup, I'd let her add a bit of that....just b/c she likes to be the one to put it on AND she may be more willing b/c she likes that flavor. You could alternatively use a dry seasoning, like parsley or something fairly benign and let him do the sprinkling for fun? Or shred his soy cheese and let him use it to add to any other foods. DD LOVES to add things to a pizza, to a quiche, to help bake, etc.
*always offer new foods with old favorites, but you can try to mix them...so mixing them together or putting what he likes on top of the new food.....might be more tempting.
*reverse psychology....it ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS worked when I was little. My grandfather in particular used to make himself a snack or plate of food. Didn't always make up a plate for me or my sister to start....then he'd bring it to his chair in the living room and we'd sneak over to investigate and want to try some. He'd pull the plate away and say in a silly way, "OH NO NO NO...you don't want...THIS." "Yes, we do!" "OH, no, you won't like this. Grown ups like this, but YOU won't like this." Then he'd leave the room for some reason....like to grab a napkin or whatever and my sister and I would eat all his food all the while he was in the other room saying "Watch my snack, don't let anyone else eat my snack!" or some such. I have done this with DD and she will "sneak" bites of my food off of my plate just to get me to react silly like that "*gasp* Who stole my broccoli? Is there a broccoli thief in the house?"
*make food more relaxing and fun. Have a picnic and just lay out various foods on a blanket and eat them somewhere else in the house or in the yard. Let him use a snack cup to carry something around the house and munch. Leave a dish/bowl of something ready to eat in the bottom of the fridge or on a low shelf and tell him it's his special shelf and he can get foods from there whenever he'd like. Then make sure to only put things you'd like to see him choose from. Maybe giving him more power will encourage him to branch out?
Anyway, I am sure you do lots of this stuff already, but thought I'd throw out ideas in case something struck you!
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Thanks Nicole!
I SO wish he liked dips! That's how my DD (6.5) started eating more foods - she loved to dip chicken, eggs, etc in ketchup and veggies into homemade ranch or blue cheese. Now she's a pretty great eater. But he doesn't want to dip at all. And I've tried the shapes and it worked for getting him to eat pancakes or nuggets (and now he eats regular ones that I make) but it didn't work for like fruits or veggies or anything. But it's been a while and I should try again.
As for reverse psychology, again a great idea and I WISH it worked. It always did for my niece and nephew. But he couldn't care less. If we tell him that he can't have broccoli or eggs or whatever he just says OK, Daddy eat or Mommy eat or whatever and is pleased that he doesn't have to! He's WAY stubborn. But again, will keep trying.
We do often have lunch as a picnic in the family room instead of in the kitchen and that used to help but lately it doesn't.
And I just don't get why he won't spoon feed himself foods he DOES like (like yogurt, applesauce, etc) but won't feed them with hands either and only wants me to spoon feed them.
Thanks again Nicole (and everyone). I really appreciate all the ideas and please keep them coming! xoxo
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I will say that at 2.5 Katie was always a huge breakfast eater, ok lunch, and literally 3 bites of dinner. Never bothered her either. Maybe that at least makes you feel better...
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Karen I would say one of the reasons why he won't spoon feed himself his yogurt is because he does not have to. He knows that you will do it for him. I'd stop it full-on and let him figure it out. He will make a mess and he will get frustrated but he WILL learn. I can imagine the worry is that he will stop eating that as well, but if you give it to him the first 10 times and he refuses to do it, you still just give it to him the eleventh and don't say anything. Don't encourage, don't prod, don't tell him he can do it....nothing. Just give it to him, sit down next to him and eat your own yogurt. And eating the same foods as him at the same time (without saying something like 'hey look, I've got one too!!') helps to model the expected behaviour.
I also think that encouraging trying should be avoided at this point. Obviously not forever - and as I said I did not encourage but actually FORCED a taste this weekend and 6 months ago even gently encouraging or asking or expecting was leading to the opposite and having very negative consequences. I only did it this weekend because I know we have worked up to it over the past 6 months, and I still have not changed our approach to where now I expect him to taste, but because it is something that I *know* he likes it was just making him get past his mental block.
I do also think that "tactics" that people normally use for toddler eating are out the window when you have a child who is this far down the road in their pickiness. I think all of those things are super and I know as a kid my one aunt loves to tell the story about the first time she met me and how she got me to eat my peas that I hated....but I was not a child who had any "issues" surrounding food and eating iyswim. I would not keep encouraging or enticing or doing silly dances to 'get him to eat' so to speak. Because if you are going to great lengths at this age to "get him" to eat then that is where the foundation of the problem lies. All of the control needs to be handed over to him, where he makes the decisions and the choices and does not have to be goaded into it if that make sense. You don't want to be "getting him" to eat you want to be giving him the control and also the responsibility for eating. You choose when he eats, and what he eats, he is allowed the selection, the amount, the how and the if.
Mashi, I don't care if he doesn't use cutlery per se. But I think it's really hampering his eating because he hates to have his hands messy/dirty. So he won't eat stuff that is too messy with his hands usually. And they are really trying to encourage using cutlery at school, at least on Fridays (when he has pasta).
Can you let him play with some really messy things with his hands a few times a week to get used to it? It sounds like he might be texture and sensory sensitive (not sure I am using the right words). I would still allow him to work through it and not spoon feed him. And let nursery fight their own battle with cutlery - they may make advances faster than you when it is the only time he feels pressure, and also it allows him to still have a lot of time to work it out on his own at home.
I will also say that we tried EVERYTHING. Every single thing you can imagine with DS. His list of foods was in no way limited at all, he ate a very good variety and I had no concerns about his 'diet' per se, but it was starting to limit and there was total refusal to try anything outside of his list and often we were resorting to distraction, to enticing, encouraging, rewarding and spoon feeding to get him to eat. And none of those things are acceptable ways to eat IMO and lead to problems that just last and last and last. Once we shrugged it all of and made it clear to him through our actions that no one cared, he slowly changed.
And what if he doesn't eat lunch or dinner (he always eats breakfast)? Is there no afternoon snack then but only the meal re-offered?
I would not re-offer the meal. Snacks are a very important part of toddler eating (even in adult eating really!) and should be included as part of his food offerings regardless of what he eats at other meals. He should be offered regular bkfst, lunch, dinner and a small snack in between each of those meals as a set, engrained rule. I think people often see snacks as a reward or that meals are the foods you do not like and snacks are what you do like but again it is just a change of thinking. Snack does not mean 'treat' but snack means 'smaller meal.' It is not a food handout to be run around with or that he gets to choose whatever he wants and that can be junk or treat or sweet iyswim. Snacks should include 2-3 foods and include protein, a carb and a fat. A slice of chicken, half a banana and some cut up chunks of avocado can still be his snack. And like with every other meal he can choose what he wants to eat - and if he eats the half of a banana and asks for more then you give him a small piece more, but then leave it at 'that's all there is, if you are still hungry there are other foods here.' And if he says he is not hungry then just accept that, and say ok. It is his choice. Also remember that a snack is a necessary part of his day, not a reward that he has to earn.
And what about the nights (many of them) that our family meal doesn't include ANYTHING that he likes? Like tomorrow night we are having leftover Shepherd's pie. He won't eat that. On the side DH and DD will have sourdough bread with butter (I'm gluten free) but DS doesn't like that. Let him have one piece of toast instead?
Then you need to make sure your meal DOES include something he likes. Dinner table needs to include a selection of foods. It does not mean they all have to be "meals" but also you do not make something for him as an alternative. On your table you have the leftover shepherd's pie, the plate with bread and butter (and perhaps you could arrange that plate so that there is bread or toast to choose from, but you are not giving it to him or putting it on his (or anyone else's) plate - he can look and see what is on the table and choose....he may totally surprise you one day by choosing the sourdough and not the toast and that is what you are aiming for!) and I would also add in a few other choices. A bowl or plate with some olives or cut up pickles. A pot of cottage cheese. Some sliced up carrots sticks. A plate with slices of avocado. A bottle of mustard. A hard boiled egg cut into slices. Obviously not all, and your dinner is not a restaurant buffet so you don't go overboard, but it is also not reasonable to have him only have something he does not like OR a piece of bread. It is not helping him to expand his choice. If you have the shepherd's pie on the table in a serving dish, the bread/toast basket and then two small plates with ideas similar to the ones above, and then everyone sits down - what would you like from our dinner table tonight? Control and responsibilitiy is his. You have chosen the what and when, he selected and chose how much.
Anyway I am rambling again!! I am so passionate about this approach because after trying EVERYTHING in the world, and having many many many breakdowns in tears over what was happening I totally hit an emotional bottom with it. This approach and whole new way of thinking completely saved us and has been helping my DS to open his mind (and mouth!) a bit more. It is the first and only thing that helped and where I saw attitude shifts in all of us, with results ;D
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I'm sure tomorrow morning he'll gorge himself on either homemade/healthy french toast sticks or waffle and then tomorrow at school is bagel day for lunch so that means toasted whole wheat bagel with Earth Balance spread. He always refuses the fresh fruit snack (despite them always offering and the other kids all partaking). Sigh.
I wonder if this could be an issue if that is typical of breakfast? If he's filling up at breakfast it really could affect his eating for the rest of his meals. So as Mashi say breakfast would be a french toast/fruit/yogurt but reasonable portions. So 1/2 slices. So he can choose french toast but once the reasonable portion is done then he needs to choose something else or be done and at least that way even if he doesn't choose something else he'll be hungrier at his next meal. Because although our meals always include something the kids will eat it not limitless. Once the portion is eaten then there isn't more.
I agree with the spoon feeding. I would just leave him to it.
I only did it this weekend because I know we have worked up to it over the past 6 months, and I still have not changed our approach to where now I expect him to taste, but because it is something that I *know* he likes it was just making him get past his mental block.
This is how it was with M. it was like 'I don't eat x' but I agree that you have to have a certain history to be able to do it. I think though it had got to a point with us where I wasn't insisting she ate the whole meal or eat things she truly didn't like but it was reasonable to taste things on her plate without it being a huge drama. She didn't even have to swallow just try it. And since then she has discovered lots of things she actually likes.
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Thanks again Erin, Mashi and Shiv - you ladies (and everyone here) rock! Will try all those things and keep you posted. Part of the problem is also his dairy intolerance. Certain things he wants he cannot have and the alternatives aren't always as appealing to him. Or just different even. So I can model with my yogurt but it is a different container - I eat plain Greek yogurt - or somethings with fruit or nuts mixed in and he has to have soy yogurt. Or like with the Shepherd's Pie tonight - since I knew he wouldn't eat it I made it with real butter this time as it tastes better and IMO is healthier than Earth Balance spread. So I can't even offer it. I guess I'll leave a broccoli pancake and piece of toast out for him and leave it to that tonight?
So if not helping him means he cuts out yogurt and oatmeal and applesauce (which I'd hate because he has the yogurt 2-3 times a week and it's a good healthy source of protein and calcium that he likes) just accept that for now? Or be willing to take turns and help him for now as long as he alternates turns?
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Yes...the dairy allergy makes things harder, of course. I forgot. I do think with dinner though you can still put a lot of things out and available for him to choose from, rather than saying a brocolli pancake and toast "for him" - cut up veggies, even spreads - like I said a bottle of mustard is one of the things that I remember putting out randomly one week many days in a row and after days of looking at it DS asked what it was and wanted a squeeze on his plate. He stuck his finger in it, hated it and ate nothing else for the rest of the meal because of the horrible taste in his mouth, but I still considered that an accomplishment and a big positive for us! :) So it does not have to be a selection for him and a selection for everyone else, but perhaps you can put the things that he is not allowed to choose from on everyone's plates and something in place of it on his plate, but leave all of the other things that he is also allowed to choose from on the table.
In cooking, instead of butter vs spread can you use olive oil?
I don't think that yogurt out of a different pot is going to stop him from eating it - what I mean by modelling it is that you are also eating yogurt and he sees the idea of how it is done - dip spoon, put to mouth, etc. Or if it really is an issue for him you can just scoop the yogurt into bowls so he does not see the source. I think that offering to take turns with spoon feeding him, at this age, is defeating the purpose and I don't think it will actually get you anywhere. I think he might surprise you in his willingness to eat when left up to it on his own. Have you tried different cutlery styles and sizes - it is one thing that surprised me one time when we were in England and we moaned how DS could not eat with his spoon....FIL suggested a bigger spoon (like a tablespoon size) and I sort of rolled my eyes, after all it is too big for DS's mouth!! However, sure enough when DH gave him the bigger spoon he ate an entire bowl of cereal on his own for the first time ever. No clue why - but even now there is only one spoon he can eat cereal with, other spoons he is not able to manage.
With the dairy intolerance...it's funny because I have often wondered what role an intolerance plays in fussy eaters. I was SO keen into feeding DS so many things and from age 6-12 months that boy had a weekly meal plan that could have been served at The Fat Duck ::) He ate anything and everything, he loooooooved his food. But once he hit old enough to be eating more table foods and I had to say 'No, not that one, you can have this one instead' or 'sorry that's mommy's and you are not allowed to taste it' his attitude and approach to food really changed. He outgrew his soy allergy about 13months and milk about 14-16 months but we did have to go slowly the first few weeks even...SUCH a crucial time for him in forming food and eating associations. There are many other BWers who when they write about their todder picky eaters, they are also MPI - though I do know there are some who were MPI without food problems but it seems to be a common enough occurrence to see a connection!
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I agree with what Mashi and Shiv are saying about relinquishing control and just giving him the power over his food and his intake. The most popular theory across the board amongst most doctors and dietary experts is one that you have heard before "Children will not starve themselves." YES he may go hungry sometimes. YES he may be THAT stubborn. But in the end, he will eat enough to sustain him as he works through his own mental blocks, cutlery issues, and whatever else is holding him up in the food eating department. It will be hard to watch and hard to not say anything, but the approach they took is probably the one that will end up working best for your LO. It may take a LONG time to get there.....but there is an end in sight.
If you choose to jump into this method of just allowing him to eat what he wants, how he wants it and how much of it he wants......you may find that you want to have (need to have) some go to phrases to respond to him or other people when certain questions arise...like the inevitable things others will mention: he's not eating a lot, he won't try this, he's not using his spoon/fork. And of course the ones he will say, I want more xyz mommy, I don't like this, etc...
I would make sure you are ready to casually defend your approach to daycare with things like "he's a light eater." "He doesn't seem to require many calories." "He's experiencing and adjusting to new food textures." "I pick my battles, that doesn't bother me right now." "Go ahead, let him use his hands, they can be washed."
This way you won't get caught off guard by others and you'll know what you are doing.
In my prior post, I didn't mean to cajole him into eating. I just meant to make it a bit more lighthearted or fun. For the most part, I let my DD eat what she wants and how much she wants. Only on occasion do I encourage her to taste things or eat more of something, but these occasions are when I know she is running off and not eating as much to try to catch the end of a show or to play a game or she is avoiding eating something I know she likes and I know she is still hungry b/c she hasn't eaten much that day or whatever---those nights she'll beg for food later if she doesn't eat enough at dinner) But I KNOW her and she is a good eater for the most part so I CAN push a bit. But the majority of the time, I am fine with what she chooses to eat. I actually ask her what she wants for breakfast and lunch and snacks and she chooses herself most days. I offer suggestions. I decide what to make for dinner and that is the only choice for dinner. That seems to work well for us here.
In any event. I think Mashi and Shiv are right about the approach.
Just saw your post....
I really wouldn't alternate turns with the spoon feeding. I'd really let him do it himself or just not. If you both have yogurt, can you transfer it to bowls so you are both having it out of similar bowls rather than straight from the container? My DH buys those tubs of greek yogurt and puts them in a bowl and adds sugar free jelly. DD now LOVES this as a snack.
As far as his intolerance, IMO, I would really only make foods for family "meals" that HE can also partake in for the time being. As much as possible anyway. I was on an ED while I nursed my son (before he went on neocate) for the same dairy/soy intolerance. Earth Balance was my friend. I found a way to make all my standby meals dairy/soy free. I used panko bread crubs, Earth Balance, almond milk, coconut milk yogurt/ice creams, organic tomato sauce with no dairy/soy for pastas, etc. etc. It was def. possibly to have all my meals be dairy/soy free and not super difficult, although label reading is a pain when shopping. This way EVERYONE is offered the same choices and can be great role models and he doesn't have the "different" from everyone else meal choice. If you need ideas for meals to make with the dairy intolerance that are delicious, there is help for that! I even found brownies I could make with the Earth Balance. Yes they were prepackaged, but they were dairy and soy free and although not the BEST brownies in the world, they made me feel I could eat like other people and that was SO SO nice. :) Might be part of his trouble. He may now be noticing he can't have the same as others and that could be messing with his head a bit.
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Coconut oil is great to cook with (we very recently changed and use that or olive oil most of the time) and is dairy/soy free!
Walmart carries it and it's not crazy expensive.
:)
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PPS: I don't know if you enjoy making all that food homemade. I am not a good cook/baker and I found it to be super time consuming so I found lots of alternatives I could use to do things quickly and easily. I know it's a more processed diet, but it works for us. I found a Healthy Heart pancake mix that was dairy/soy free from Bisquick I believe and could use that for pancakes or waffles, etc. These things truly helped make my life easier when I was nursing DS. If any of that interests you I can try to think of more things I used. :)
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Have to dash but will read this more thoroughly later this morning - but thanks Nicole. BTW, I LOVE LOVE LOVE coconut oil (and milk) and use it with myself and DS often BUT DD seems to have an intolerance so I can't use it for family meals - unless I experiment and find out otherwise (which is possible). Plus I have a gluten allergy, further confusing matters - so meals are already a bit different many nights. Also usually for dinner I eat with DH instead of the kids - they eat much earlier than I am hungry for and he is not home until about 6:30 most nights. But I do still sit with them.
I can't say I "like" making all these things homemade but in the end it's worth it to me and I do make large batches and freeze them!
BTW - for breakfast just now I offered his french toast sticks (which are NOT homemade but from Van's and healthy and dairy free) but only four of them (instead of 5-6) along with a few multigrain cheerios and 3 blueberries. He ignored the cheerios, asked me to take away the blueberries (which I did not do) and ate the sticks of course. I guess for nursery today will ask them to only serve him a few crackers along with the morning fruit snack and leave it at that? Instead of letting him have more crackers and fill on them?
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I guess for nursery today will ask them to only serve him a few crackers along with the morning fruit snack and leave it at that? Instead of letting him have more crackers and fill on them?
Yes I would make it a normal portion not a portion that would equal crackers plus fruit.
I agree with the spoon. I would leave him to it. Yes you may have a week or two where he refuses but once he sees you mean business I think he'll get with it and feed himself.
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Update - I did ask his teachers today to only give him a small portion of the crackers or whatever along with the fruit at snack today and to leave it at that. They said they gave him less graham crackers than usual along with some clementine. He ate the grahams but of course didn't touch the clementine. At lunch there he ate almost his entire half toasted whole wheat bagel with EB spread (not surprising). After his nap at first he refused both pistachio nuts (which he loves) and breakfast cookies (which he used to love but has been refusing lately). I didn't push the issues at all. But shortly after he ate all 20 or so nuts and two of the cookies (!). I imagine it might hurt his appetite for dinner but I'm just glad he added the breakfast cookies back in for now.
Since I can't offer him the Shepherd's Pie this time (dairy) tonight I'll just make him a broccoli pancake (which he used to like) and yogurt and leave it at that?
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I say that sounds like a plan xx
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Good plan!
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Only two bites of broccoli pancake at dinner. Wanted yogurt but only if I'd feed it to him. Hope this isn't like milk (he totally stopped drinking it when we took his bottle away).
Should he be offered some cheerios or anything later or only fruit? Or a bit of both? Or nothing?
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i will be back
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Glad he ate some cookies and the nuts - I think after a couple of weeks he will get the point and start eating more :)
I would offer him a small bedtime snack regardless of what he eats at dinner. I'd be a bit wary of cheerios when it seems that he eats a lot of carbs already and is holding out and preferring them - I would try to make it something protein and/or a fruit/veggie. Not the most normal of bedtime snacks I guess but the protein will fill him for the night and be another good opportunity to get something into him at a time when he is maybe not used to it iyswim.
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We did a bedtime snack regardless of dinner too. Agree with Mashi on the choice though.
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Yes, think we'll keep with the bedtime snack - we have always offered it to both kids and I don't want to take it away. But didn't see this time time and last night offered a very small amount of Multigrain cheerios (both kids had but DD's with milk) and a plate of cut strawberries between them. Course DS wouldn't touch the strawberries (not even to give me one) but I will keep doing. Not sure at night what I can offer that is protein except nuts (if he hasn't already had them that day) or the roasted chickpeas (which could be hard to digest at night?). I'd say yogurt but he's refusing it now since I won't spoon feed him.
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I think its important to get into the mindset that he will not starve himself but there may be days he will be going to bed hungry-ish until he starts to eat better. If you think he would eat cheerios ok then keep that for bedtime snack but at another point in the day where you would offer a similar food, don't and offer something else instead.
I personally would back off even encouraging him to feed you anything. If you are going this route I would make no mention of food at all. Provide him a balanced meal with a preferred food there but a normal portion and leave him to it. I think even trying to encourage him to feed you will put him off and make him think you are just too invested and trying to convince him to eat.
{{{hugs}}}
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Yep, agree with Shiv! :) Swap out the cheerios for something else in the day then - protein stuff can be cubes of cheese (does he have a cheese alternative that he eats? How about chunks of firm tofu?) stuck on toothpicks with some cut-up cold chicken. A cold turkey meatball and some hummus or guacamole to dip it in. Etc. I would also not make any mention of food at all - here is your snack, and leave it at that. Encouraging and commenting makes it an 'issue' and if you just leave it he will eventually eat.
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Will do with the Cheerios, just need to think of swaps. Soy cheese is pretty nasty on it's own though, it really only works cooked into something. We are trying dairy again at 3 - fingers crossed for that - would be nice if I could offer him cheese and drinkable yogurt and all! Have been totally leaving his food now but like Shiv said will not encourage him to give me any either.
This morning I left him 6 silver dollar pancakes (instead of 7-8) and a bowl of blueberries between him and DD. He ate all his pancakes but no blueberries of course!
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*hugs* Karen. So, so, soooooo many *hugs* Can I just say that I am so relieved to have found your thread? Aaron is still so much like M in this regard (save for the allergies/intolerances). He's got his list of foods that he likes, and that's that. Won't even try new things now. We've done everything that we could think of, but I'm to the point that I'm just sick of it all, too. Sorry buddy--you can't eat pancakes for every meal ::)
Part of our problem is that he is SO verbal. I often forget that I'm talking to a child who isn't even 3 yet. He says stuff like, "We do like broccoli, don't we Mommy?" yet won't eat the stuff. Our latest freak-out was that he found out that basil was in his marinara. He's been eating the stuff for years. ::)
Anyways, I'm not going to usurp your thread but just go along for the ride. I've loved the advice you've been given and am going to show it to DH, too. We just both feel like bashing our heads against a wall some days with the silliness. Only thing left to do is change our attitude even more to the appearance of not caring.
Holding your hand...
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Karen I think with things like the blueberries and choices and such, you have to give it time. I would not expect him to eat them this morning either if they are something he does not usually eat. It will not happen overnight and it will not happen in a week - that is why I said it is an adjustment mainly in your way of thinking more than anything. You put a reasonable offering in front of him and he will learn to be responsible for choosing. There have actually been several studies done that have shown when left to their own devices in this way with food, over a time period children naturally choose for themselves a balanced diet. Mind you some may eat all carbs at one meal and all proteins at another and so on, but over a week to two week time period all of the children ate an appropriate balanced diet. They just have to be left to do it on their own and they will!
Hugs for you as well Sara x
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Hi Sara and definitely jump in please!!! I've often said how much alike Aaron and Matthew are - these picky curly haired blondes! Though Aaron is more verbal. So many hugs and good luck to you.
Yes, I definitely think it will take time Mashi. I am sitting with him for lunch right now and offered him nitrate free cocktail franks, grapes and a squeezable applesauce. So far he's eating the hot dogs (of course), looking at the applesauce pouch and annoyed with the grapes but at least not yelling at them to be taken away.
Edited to say he ended up having less hot dogs than usual (3 minis instead of 6 but not bad) and one squeeze of the applesauce (and made a face) and rest the left and is playing with his blocks now. I guess I'll leave it out on the table until his nap in case he decides to come back to it.
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I was posting something earlier and somehow it didn't go through.
It was along the lines of the others. I do think it will be a slow progression at first and he may even "test" you and try to hold out or beg for more of his favorites or hold out for your to give in and spoon feed him, but that after a period of time, he will come to realize this is just the way things are now and then relax and eventually try things. Once he realizes there is no power struggle in it anymore and that it's up to him and you're happy either way, he will probably end up giving in to his own curiosity about foods that are offered.
Yeah, the soy cheese isn't particularly appetizing when it's not IN or ON things. I think it would be fine to offer the chickpeas, etc. for snack before bed. Plus you'll hopefully at some point offer things that he will eventually eat. So perhaps in the future he'll open up and expand to include some more protein options like eggs, peanut butter, meats, etc. Might go back onto yogurt sooner once he decides to feed himself, etc. So, the only thing you can do is offer, you know?
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Nicole that is exactly what we found happened with DS. Especially this --
Once he realizes there is no power struggle in it anymore and that it's up to him and you're happy either way, he will probably end up giving in to his own curiosity about foods that are offered.
it is exaclty our experience here. xx
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Plodding along here. He happily ate another breakfast cookie yesterday, along with roasted chickpeas, for snack - so that was good. Dinner was pasta (his favorite) so no surprise he did well but he did do well with a spoon too! As long as I helped load up the spoon he then fed himself. He ignored the grapes at breakfast and the fruit at school of course.
For dinner just now I served him fish sticks (homemade), roasted potatoes and broccoli - same as the rest of us. But I also gave him some sweet potato fries since he likes those more than other potatoes. He ate the sweet potato fries first and asked for more but I told him there were no more. Then he actually tried and ate half a fish stick (!) and felt the potatoes (but didn't eat one). A small step but I'll take it for now!
I've also been doing sleep talk the past two nights to see if they can work in conjunction.
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Very thrilling that he tried and ate half a fish stick!!!! AND used a spoon!!!! All in one day :)
That's fantastic, truly.
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Actually the spoon was yesterday (last night) and the half fish stick was tonight. But yes, was pleased!
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Heck, even feeling the potatoes is great progress. :)
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Heck, even feeling the potatoes is great progress. :)
Definitely!! Glad to hear your update Karen!!
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Thanks guys! Here's hoping it continues/improves. Still refusing the fruit (this morning it was blueberries) but he knows I'm making meatballs tonight and is excited about that (for now anyway).
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Sounds like you guys are making progress!!! YAY! Small steps and all that xxx
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Thanks hun! Keep doing exactly as I am or anything need to be tweaked? The fruit and veg thing is frustrating of course but not letting him know that!
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I would leave it as it is for at least a few weeks before you make any tweaks xx
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Ooh, I hope he gobbles up the meatballs! I hate when they refuse things you know they like!
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Will do Shiv! Totally Erin - that gets me the most I think! He's been eating and loving these meatballs for at least 1.5 years so no refusing them now! Will serve with his choice of spoon-able applesauce and squeezable applesauce (cause he's still refusing to spoon feed himself anything but pasta) and will also have carrots and dip on the table. The rest of us are actually doing a deli night - rare night off cooking for me!
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Well no snack at all after his nap (I offered breakfast cookie, chickpeas or apple slices) and so far no dinner (applesauce and meatballs). Not looking pretty.
He was claiming his belly hurt after dinner. Then at bedtime snack he was offered his choice of grapes with DD or his breakfast cookies from earlier - which he inhaled two of (at least they have tofu and oats and all in them and very little sugar). Just worried he's dropping meatballs and that would NOT be good!
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Karen we had a LOT of sore tummy complaints from DS at first. I would pick him up from kindergarten and he would be in tears because his tummy hurt, and when I asked him what he ate for lunch he would say nothing because it was yucky. I asked if he even tasted it and he would say no ::) I was very kind and calm when I asked him and I would always tell him the reason his tummy hurt was because it was hungry. I did always bring a snack with me for him (it is a long commute home from the preschool) so he would not have to wait until home - it was his regular afternoon snack which he would get regardless. But I will say it took a good two months of that before he started tasting/eating his lunch at kindergarten. And, many times when he chose to go hungry instead of eating dinner at home, he would wake up crying in the morning saying his tummy hurt. I always told him again and again that the pain was hunger, and it was from having not eaten his dinner. And again it took weeks and weeks and weeks for him to accept that connection. I was careful not to be upset or 'scolding' in my tone but just explaining and telling him what the feeling was and why he had it.
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I totally get that Mashi. BUT the reason I wonder if his belly really hurt is because he had a different pizza at lunchtime. I always make his pizza and use my own pizza crust (which I freeze in dough balls until I need to use), chopped spinach, either homemade sauce or one certain brand and a certain brand of soy cheese (Vegan Gourmet, also called Follow Your Heart). Works well for us. But yesterday the store was out of the cheese and I bought the brand my friend uses, Daiya - which is NOT soy based. It looked and tasted different and the ingredients are different and the stomach upset seemed to start shortly thereafter (he never refuses snack usually) so I'm wondering if that was it? He was pooping more than usual too.
But thank you for your story, I'm sure that's at play here sometimes too and I appreciate knowing how you have successfully handled it!
Was it a mistake to have offered the breakfast cookies? It was about an hour past dinner and I was offering DD her usual choice of cereal and fruit. I figured at least the cookies are much more wholesome and substantial than some dry cereal?!
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I don't think it was a mistake to offer the breakfast cookies at all - but I would not use them as an every night snack, and I would mix up bedtime snack as much as you do with other meals and snacks, but at least at bedtime make sure that if he has not had his dinner, that there is for sure something filling that he will eat iyswim.
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Thanks again Mashi!
Dinner started out miserably but ended up GREAT. After skipping his nap today (for the first time ever!), he was an overtired mess at dinner. Dinner was sweet potato fries (which he loves), homemade chicken nuggets and applesauce pouch (the rest of us also had salad and DH and I had the same chicken but in cutlet form). The chicken was new for him, not his usual nuggets.
These were made the same as DD's and DH's (I'm gluten free) but I used cookie cutters to cut the kids ones into stars, circles and triangles. They were dredged in seasoned whole wheat flour and then dipped in egg/honey and then coated with bread crumbs (half whole wheat half regular) mixed with cornmeal and spices; then sauteed in grapeseed oil and finished off in the oven.
He screamed for 10-15 minutes yelling for "other food" and crying hysterically. We stayed calm and were all eating ourselves and he finally cuddled with me, calmed down, asked for his little table (which we keep in the family room). DH brought that into the kitchen and he sat down there and ate his sweet potato fries, asked for more, started to get upset but then said "I try" and ate 2 1/2 of the homemade nuggets!!!! And most of an applesauce pouch!!!! WOW!
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Yay!!! That is amazing.
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Marisa, I'm looking at it & thinking (as someone told me) you are looking at what he eats with a 21 centuary "adult" attitude, if you actually looked at it with a '1900's child attitude, you'd be stoked. Food that is out of season & available all the time really does play into why adults have issues with what children eat.
My DS1 only really became a "good" eater at around 7yo & DS2 is slowly getting there.
I've really noticed that they go off certain foods - apples normally loved are out of favour... they aren't in season. & these days it is really hard to work out what is in season & what isn't & even if it is "apple season" are they this seaon's or last year's cool room stock?
The BEST thing we ever did was 5 things on the plate, a mix of what will be eaten, sometimes eaten & new foods... these days it is 4 things must be eaten before seconds of a favourite are choosen.
One new food a month is my goal & has been for about 4 years (DS1 is 8.5yo) & we actually do better than that these days as I have a "new food night" where they are expected to try the new food (or food cooked differently) & you know what I have a child who wouldn't eat fish, who now asks me when we are next having fish. We can do the new food being "forced" because they are older, but seriously I think it took 500 attempts before DS1 tried cauliflower & now he loves it... yet only about 10 for roasted Beetroot (something I refused to eat until I was 40 LOL)
Mine are also older but last year I sat them down with the menu plan & they had 2 "pass outs" where they could have plain pasta or scrambled eggs when say DH & I were having a curry, but these days DS1 eats the curry (sadly I've had to make it milder) & I'm hoping that by 8.5yo Ds2 will do the same.
Just some thoughts from someone who had a 2yo who ate no more than 20 foods.... will even eat Pizza at a party if that is all that is on offer & he is hungry even if he doesn't really like it KWIM.
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Hi Kate - always good to hear from you! BTW, I'm Karen (Marisa is my daughter).
I totally hear what you are saying. And I agree to some point BUT I am still upset about the complete and total lack of any fresh fruit or veggies (other than what's blended into his "juice" daily and mixed in with some foods). Bananas are at least in season and he was off berries even in the summer, etc. But hopefully they start to come back slowly/eventually and I'm so happy to hear your kids are eating so well these days!
And thanks also Nicole, I was psyched!
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Karen - sorry I knew that, brain not working after a crazy week.
I do think the thing that helped me most was not to expect too much too fast, to accept change would be slow, we still only have apples, bananas, grapes, pineapple, oranges, green beans, lettuce, cauliflower, beetroot, potatoes & corn here for DS1 & Ds2 doesn't have the pototoes, cauliflower or beetroot, but will eat peas.
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Karen, that was awesome that he tried the new nuggets! Really, so wonderful! So, at least you know that on some level--when HE feels he's ready--that he understands the concept of trying new things and can be open to that.
I've been trying to be more laid back when A doesn't eat how I hoped he'd eat. For example, I made a noodle casserole last night--he normally loves it...but he's on a no broccoli kick (even if it's super soft and smashed/mixed up so it's virtually tasteless). Didn't eat much of the casserole. I baked some rolls for each of us, and since DH and I were having them, I let him have his at the same time. In the past, we've done "Eat X number of bites and then you can have it," which worked until about 5-6 months ago. Trying to go with the "he gets what we're getting, no mentioning anything about it, etc." attitude. Is that the right path to go down?
Kate, I really like the "Pass Out" idea! Perhaps when A is older, that would be a good thing to use.
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Karen that is fantastic!!! We definitely had nights like that as well -a bit of a freak-out on DS's part and then he made a decision on his own to try something. It is a huge step .... don't expect it to always be like that, just as with everything else it will not "progress" in a linear fashion but it shows his maturity and beginning of acceptance that things are taking a new turn. :)
Trying to go with the "he gets what we're getting, no mentioning anything about it, etc." attitude. Is that the right path to go down?
Definitely on the not mentioning part! With the 'gets what we are getting' approach I think it depends on how you interpret that and everyone does differently. I don't think it is helpful with a really picky eater with some control and emotional issues for that to be a matter of putting it on his plate and saying "tough, this is your meal" because for a lot of kids (and adults) they will just say "no, I'm not eating." If you put a spicy Asian or Indian meal in front of me and told me that was dinner and there was nothing else, I would not eat it. I would not even try it. And you could put it in front of me every night for 6 months and I still would not eat it. I just do not like spicy foods, or curries, end of story. However, if you put a few things on in the centre of the table, incl that spicy curry, but also a plate with some cold cut up vegetables, a basket of bread and butter and a tray of olives, then I would choose some vegetables and bread and I would eat. I hate olives but after a month of seeing other people eat them I would be tempted to try one -- and have been many times, and have tried, maybe once every few years, but only because I am not pressured and no one is watching me. And I still hate them! :) When I lived in Korea and every dish was spicy and included kimchi at every meal the pressure and encouragement was constant for me to try and I got upset all the time. And I was 30 years old ::)
So I think if you take the attitude of the meal being all you are making, not a special meal for him, but that meal includes some things he will eat, and you put them on the table and allow him to choose which ones he wants, with no commenting or discussing it, it is sort of a same-same-but-different. HTH?
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Hi Hon,
I haven't read the whole thread but wanted to give some support as I know where you are coming from. DS Sam was a fantastic eater when he was younger and people used to marvel at how much he would put away :o Anyway when this changed I went into panic mode and became a conveyor belt of food offerings (it's so easy to fall into) and I did that for quite some time for fear of him being hungry. Then I knew something had to give. He is a really good weight and a sturdy little man so I took action. He always eats a good breakfast and hasn't eaten anything much at lunch time for a long time so (this may sound terrible) I cut his 'sit down lunch' out :o he has rice cakes/crackers with a little bit of cheese/a piece of fruit..basically something light and then I don't allow him anything between the hours of 3 and 5pm. Then he is hungry at dinner time and he eats his meal :D I was allowing him to graze through the afternoon so he wasn't hungry enough for his dinner before and I am happy now that he has 2 good meals a day. I stopped offering more than one savoury choice if he doesn't eat his meal then that's that. It was quite amusing when he started to realise there was nothing else coming..I would say 'Are you finished then Sam?' and he would look shocked and say 'No Mammy' and start to eat (most of the time) He started to eat his old favourites but he still doesn't have a huge appetite, however I figure if he says he's full then encouraging him to eat more is encouraging over eating which can't be good KWIM ???
I also cut out sugar to a great extend, even the healthy stuff like his beloved dried fruit, because without a doubt those calories were filling him up. Now if he eats a decent amount of his proper meal then he gets 'A treat' when he's done and he has 'caught on' to this now.
WRT new foods: I put something that he hasn't tried before into one of the little compartments on his plate, and usually he will take it off the plate and put it on the table or his tray, which is fine as long at it doesn't go on the floor ::) however on occasion he will try something and o ::)once or twice eaten something new but sometimes after being offered it a dozen times.
Strangely enough he has tried most new foods whilst in the kitchen with me when I've been cooking..this week I ate a piece of raw carrot when making soup and he asked for some :o then he ate 3 pieces and 2 pieces of raw turnip :o :o :o I think this is because it was a totally non pressured situation. WRT the latter, when I put Sam's food down for him now I don't enter into any discussion, if he whines I ignore him and walk away and it's when I'm gone that he will start to eat it..go figure ::). If I encourage him in the slightest it is the fastest way to it ending up on the floor.
I hope something amongst this rant can be helpful to you LOL ??? And if not just know you are not alone in this problem, there are thousands of us out there ;). And BTW I think his variety of foods look pretty good to me, I think there are many out there who will be envious ;) Do you give him a multivitamin with omega 3 ??? I do with Sam, it really takes the pressure off to know he is getting what he needs regardless of whether they've had a good day or bad.
(BIG HUGS)
Vicki.x.
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So I think if you take the attitude of the meal being all you are making, not a special meal for him, but that meal includes some things he will eat, and you put them on the table and allow him to choose which ones he wants, with no commenting or discussing it, it is sort of a same-same-but-different. HTH?
I agree, as an example, I make a stir fry for the family, but I know that the broccoli, capsicum & carrots won't be eaten & depending on the sauce it could be the whole meal, but the boys will eat soy marinated beef strips, egg noodles, beans, onion (small amount) & cauliflower, so I cook the meat, put that aside & keep warm, then cook the veg they will eat, put that aside, cook the rest of the veg & then serve them their parts & finish off the dish for DH & myself. Or for another meal I might cook the meat & Veg that DH & I are having & on DS2's place I will put the steak, one small potato (which DS2 won't eat) some cheese (because he needs encouragement for calcium) green beans & corn (while DH & I have steak, potatoes corn, broccoli, cauliflower & carrots) What ever DS2 eats he eats but if he wants more of something he has to have eaten most of the other things on his plate (ie 4/5 foods). When they were younger, a meal nearly always had chooped up fruit on the plate so I could get 5 things on the plate.
Also another thing to remember is their taste buds are far more sensitive than ours (like 100x I think) so food does taste stronger & different, so while a 2yo may eat broccoli, to a 3yo child (esp one who has a strong sense of smell) the 'taste' we no longer have the sensitivity for is really strong for them. I was chattin with my 90yo neighbour a while back & she was saying that when she brought her children up, children under 6 lived on bread & milk, a bit of meat & veg etc, but it was common place not to expect children to eat much variety until they started school her comment was "they didn't have the maturity of stomach to eat like parents did" but in reality it comes down to tastebuds being stronger... It is a worry if a child's whole diet is processed carbs like bread, pasta & pancakes, but if they eat about 25% the variety of adults then that isn't actually abnormal, more that we have the wrong idea of what is normal KWIM.
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Thanks again guys!
After that good night Friday we've been in weekend mode (so I cook less LOL) but he did allow non-dairy tofu spread (he calls it cream cheese) on his bagel Sat morning and didn't get upset with it on his hands as usual (just wiped them a LOT), had grilled cheese (with goat cheese and on whole wheat bread) for the first time in a while last night, ate more of his meatballs again at lunch today happily and had his pizza (with soy cheese and chopped spinach) tonight. He usually eats the pizza well but often gets upset if certain pieces (he eats it cut up) don't look "right" and we weren't giving in on that tonight.
Sadly he has been refusing the roasted chickpeas all week - I don't want to lose those - a really good source of protein and veg for him!
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Hi Karen,
Oh my goodness all those little 'foibles' of his sounds very familiar ::) Sam loves bananas but he doesn't like it if there is any of the thin strips of banana skin still on the banana after it's peeled IYNWIM ??? he says' UGH Mammy! Banana hair on!' ::) toddlers are so fussy. It sounds DS is doing really well though :D. WRT chickpeas, don't be suprised if he's just fed up of them right now but he will come back to them in time. Sam went off cheese for 4 months :o then all of a sudden asked for it one day and has been eating it again ever since..go figure. Last night it took 45 minutes and 4 reheats before he ate his chicken spaghetti dish..in the old days I would have given him something else after 10 minutes but this way he learns nothing else is coming..and I knew that he has loved it in the past. When I have a little victory like that I feel like doing backflips..and wish I could ;).
Do you ever let DS cook with you..sometimes when Sam sees exactly what's going into his food/helps to make it he eats better..just a thought.
Big Hugs..hang in there!! x.
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Sounds like he did pretty well overall. Aside from the chickpeas, he didn't give you much trouble. Hope it keeps picking up!
:)
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Thanks Nicole. Today was a wash - his normal (healthy) pancakes for breakfast, refused the strawberries. Most of a piece of challah french toast for lunch, refused the grapes. Cashew nuts for snack, and dinner was nitrate free cocktail franks, sweet potato fries and applesauce (I am feeling sick and wasn't up to cooking). In the past the hot dogs were one of his favorite and he'd happily scarf down up to six mini ones (probably the equivalent of 1.5 normal sized hot dogs). Tonight he'd literally only eat ONE tiny one and had all his sweet potato fries and maybe 1/4 his applesauce.
Not sure what the deal is with the chickpeas - hope they come back soon!
Problem is I'm at a bit of a loss for what to do next - in terms of what I might have a decent chance of him accepting. And I wish he'd use a spoon or fork himself for ANYTHING other than pasta (since he won't eat many things with his hands).
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I think if you over think it, you're only going to be disappointed - without pressure, the girls have tried things I never would have offered - like fish, mushrooms, can't think of what else. Can you just do your "regular" family dinners (which I get are a bit varied due to food sensitivities) and add in something you know he'll eat?
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I agree with Erin, the more it bothers you the more it will bother you KWIM.
I used to cook a big pot of pasta & then keep serves to heat up for the next night & froze some too, then I could always put one small serve of something I knew would get eaten at dinner. Remember (as is the case with my DS1) - it can take up to 500 exposures to a food before it is accepted!!... no the 6-10 that the "professionals" tell you.
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I totally get what you are saying, Erin and Kate. But since we don't have many family dinners per se since the kids eat most nights before I'm hungry and before DH is home. He keeps wanting to hold grapes and blueberries but of course not eat/try one. He used to SCARF them down by the dozens!
Also wish he'd try using a fork again - I really think he'd be more willing to eat non-breaded chicken, egg, etc if he'd use a fork since he doesn't like how they feel on his fingers. Even lunch items I'd like to branch out on - and it's just him most days eating lunch (on non-nursery days) as I don't eat much then and DD is at school... What about frittata? Can that be made tasty non-dairy and is it something he might be more willing to try with his hands? Would calling it egg pizza be a stretch LOL?!
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Hi Karen,
I honestly think this is just another 'phase' I completely empathise because I feel exactly the same so many times and I endeavour not to stress every time but usually fail ::) :'(. However from the outside looking in it seems that DS is getting enough food onboard and I'm sure he will come back to the chickpeas and other things when he's ready. I think LO's get bored of foods the same way that we do. Just put new foods down with the old favourite (just a very small amount) and if he eats it then great, if he doesn't then maybe next time. I try and remember that I was an EXTREMELY fussy child and when my Mam and Dad took me on holiday abroad I lived on hotdogs for 2 weeks :o I literally refused everything else. But now I am a 'big girl' I'm doing really well ;) and eat so many things I wouldn't even look at at the age of 20! So it's not forever.
By the way: I would like to come to your house for dinner, you seem to make a great effort :).
Hugs.x.
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Thanks hun - you're welcome any time! He just ate meatballs for lunch but is refusing the applesauce again even though he seems to want it - but only if I spoon feed it to him. Sigh. So yogurt and applesauce are basically gone now since he won't spoon feed them to himself.
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This may be obvious Karen, but can you take him shopping to buy new kiddie cutlery to get him excited about it, and emphasise using it himself during the trip. New cutlery for Sam really encouraged him using it himself :) he has several character/coloured sets and I let him choose which fork and spoon he wants to use at each meal (sometimes it takes a while , but it makes him happy ::))
(X)
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I've tried - he still doesn't care about the cutlery. I thought it would work BUT no.
Dinner is currently miserable though I'm not letting him know that. We are having tofu and cashew stir fry over brown rice and veggies tonight. DD eats it all but separate on the plate. I served DS a plate of one piece of broccoli, one green bean, one piece of tufu, cashew nuts and one broccoli pancake. I was hoping he'd eat the broccoli pancake and/or the cashews - both of which he likes. But no - he's refusing the entire thing and whining about it while DD eats and I ignore him. UGH.
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Ugh. Good job ignoring! It's so hard to do!
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He ended up having one teeny nibble of broccoli pancake and nothing else. An hour or so later I offered him a choice of a breakfast cookie or a banana. He choose the breakfast cookie and ate it and requested another, to which I said no and offered the banana again (which he refused). That was it for the night. Of course he inhaled his multigrain waffle this morning!
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{{{hugs Karen}}}}
Stick with it. He will get there x
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Yup still plodding along. Still won't touch any of the items like fruit, veg, eggs, non-breaded chicken, etc. The only thing he did add back in were Cliff Z bars (kids nutrition bars) which he used to eat when he was around 1.75-2. Now he wants one every day but I'm only offering them 2-3 times a week at most really - as a snack or mini lunch. I make sure to put 1-2 fruit or veg on the plate at each meal but they are totally untouched still. At the grocery store he often wants to hold a grape or cherry tomato but that's the extent of it. The chickpeas are still on the outs!
edited to add: this morning I had put four blueberries on his plate along with his homemade whole grain french toast sticks (which I gave him less of than usual). He didn't eat them but saw me eating some with my breakfast and played with his for a bit and fed me some - without me asking. Course he didn't eat any but baby steps I guess!
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Baby steps are good! And well done on having the self-control to let it happen, it's so hard!!
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I know it probably doesn't feel like it but that is great progress xx
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Just wanted to stop by and give ya a *hug*!! We're still plodding along with you...no change yet for us really either, but I had a reassuring conversation with a friend last night who is a pediatrician AND whose DS was extremely picky from ~1yo to ~3yo. He said that even if a child is picky, they will still eat enough to satify their metabolic needs. Basically, that while they might be exerting their willful toddler selves, their bodies at some point will override that and they'll eat. Kinda comforting. I only brought it up to him because we were all talking about picky kids and he and his wife mentioned it first (about the issue resolving).
I think it's great that M is still interacting with the food, even if he doesn't eat it.
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Thanks Erin, Shiv and Sara! He also ended up eating 5 pieces of roasted potato last night (he used to eat them but had stopped 4-6 months ago) so I was happy with that, even though he wouldn't touch the chicken on his fork or the broccoli.
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Honestly I was a picky eater (ate about 20 things total) at 3yo, my brother was the "garbage bin" just ate anything that he was given... well roll on to now, My Mum would say that my brother is her pickiest eater!
Also remember one to two foods at a meal would have been normal 100 years ago in most families.
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Just thought I'd pop back in with an update. Frankly, not too much to say though! DS has started eating roasted potatoes, though not consistently - some nights when I make them he'll eat a TON and other times he gets upset at the sight of them. But he hasn't tried any fresh fruits or veg still, won't use cutlery still (other than to feed himself pasta with a spoon) and still won't eat any "meats" other than his beloved meatballs and the (homemade) chicken nuggets. And sometimes nitrate free/hormone free hot dogs. Thank goodness he has been eating the roasted chickpeas and also pistachio nuts for snacks many days!
He IS getting his two year molars finally so I'm sure that isn't helping. But given how long this has been going on I don't have much hope for things drastically changing once they are through!
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*hugs* I know what you means about teething and it not really making a difference either way.
Well, at least he's expanded his food repetoire with those potatoes, right? (trying to find some silver lining...) I don't know what else to suggest other than staying the course. It seems like from Mashi's experience, the first major step took months to happen. Hang in there!
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Has he taken up a new food or a variation on cooking in the last month? or averaged 3 things in the last 3 months... because if that is the case then you are on a positive road... it was really slow going with DS1 at 2/3yo... but now at 8yo he is pretty good... now asks for foods that 3 years ago would be "Yuck" We have gone from both boys rarely eating the family meal, to now only DS2 having a "free pass" once/week. I try a new (to the family) dish every week or 2 & DS1 always trys & nearly always enjoys... DS2 not so much, but I look where DS1 was 2 years ago & where DS1 was 5 years ago & truely it is so different... keep plodding & remember some children take 3 or 4 of attempts orthers, like my DS1, 100 exposures was common.
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Stay the course! Thanks for updating!
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Thanks again guys. The only new food Kate was the roasted potatoes. But the last two times now (including last night) he's totally refused them again.
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Any progress lately?
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Thanks for asking Erin! No real progress. Will touch a few other foods but not eat anything more. He WILL now use a fork for certain foods (ones he was already eating) so at least that is good I guess. He knows I am finely chopping stuff like broccoli or cauliflower into his pasta sauce. He seems me doing it, I tell him I'm doing it and he seems the veggies there (they are not hidden at all, quite visible). And he LOVES eating it that way. But give him a "normal" fruit or veggie of any kind and he gets quite upset. Still no chicken other than the nuggets, etc. Le sigh.
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That's too funny about the pasta sauce, you'd think he's just eat them the regular way then! Hope he starts eating something new soon!
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I hope so - I miss him eating fresh fruits and he won't even eat broccoli pancakes anymore, which he used to love. Thank goodness he loves things like pistachios and roasted chickpeas for snacks!
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Just thought I'd post an updated list of what he's currently eating. If anyone has ideas for how to best expand based on this let me know, thanks!
Bagels (toasted whole wheat with Earth Balance spread)
pancakes (homemade - dairy free and containing ground oats, whole wheat pastry flour and ground nuts)
challah french toast (homemade and extra eggy)
waffles (multigrain)
french toast sticks
dry cereal
bacon (sometimes)
pizza (homemade and with chopped spinach and/or mushrooms)
pasta (whole wheat and usually with either meat sauce or chopped veggies and red sauce)
grilled cheese sandwich (goat cheese on whole grain bread)
hot dogs (cut into dimes, I use organic/uncured dogs)
soy yogurt
chicken nuggets (can be homemade)
meatballs (homemade and with chopped or pureed veggies included)
sweet potato "fries"
applesauce
roasted chickpeas
pistachio nuts
whole wheat crackers
graham crackers
breakfast cookies
animal crackers
pretzel sticks
Z bars (kids whole grain energy bars, organic)
ice pops
Drinks: water or "juice" which I make by blending a tiny bit of apple juice with lots of water and avocado, strawberries, blueberries, banana and sometimes spinach
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Karen this probably isn't what you want to hear, but I don't think it is that bad a list (by comparison to what DS1 ate at 2.5yo) & I think possibly part of what makes it hard for you is that your DD ate much more variety. Yes there isn't much in the way of Fruit & Veg there, which would also frustrate me, but from a BTDT chipping away we have got to the point that DS1 does eat most things.
For us what really has worked is the 4 thing rule, where I'd put at least 5 things on the plate every day. So I'd serve up a dinner plate & if DH & I were having say casserole & rice, I'd put those 2 on (mainly just the meat chunks kind of thing) & then say some grapes or carrot sticks, half a slice of bread & green beens or grated cheese DS1 would have to eat or at least try 4 things on the plate before he could get more of a prefered food. I still do this with DS2 & last night we had Osso Buco & Mash, with extra veg... DS2 had the meat, mash (doesn't eat potato, but still gets it) , some pasta, green beans & cauliflower. So he ate all except the potato, but we've been doing that for a long time, so kind of like it just becomes a habit, but in the early days of trying it (when DS1 was about 2yo) it was like sleep training, it was hard to get him to understand that to have a "filling" serve of pasta he needed to eat a meatball, some cheese & some apple.
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Oh and add roasted potatoes (sometimes) to that list.
Kate, I realize it isn't a BAD list. But it's not great either and not really improving. And it makes dinner some nights REALLY hard. I've tried doing the 4-5 things on a plate but DS will just eat the 1-2 things he likes, ask for more and when I ask him to try the others refuse and rather be all done, even if he's still hungry.
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So what do you do when he says he is all done. Do you matter of fact do the whole "that is the rule" or do you give him more of a prefered food. If you think of it like sleep training, every time you don't keep to 'script' you make it harder on both of you. Maybe you need to start with 3 things & say "you know the rules you need to have eaten 3 things" Also key is to make sure that only a few meals a week are the 'rule' so that it isn't about going hungry every day. So you can make up the foods by a spoonful of apple sauce or some chickpeas, but on another day you do a food that is new.
Dinner sometimes was hard here, but I learnt how to use leftovers really well in the process & also that grated cheese, 1/4 apple, a corn biscuit & a handful of ham & a carrot stick could make a reasonable dinner on the odd occasion it was needed, because there was no way a curry was reasonable dinner for my 2yo (who now says currys aren't 'hot enough' ;))
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Nope I just say we need to try some of A or B and if he still refuses that's it and the meal is usually over then for him. Nothing more preferred is offered but I DO offer a bedtime snack (healthy) about 45-60 minutes later.
Dinner will be in 20 minutes and should be interesting. The rest of us are having crockpot mongolian beef, rice noodles and green beans. None of which DS eats. So along with those on his plate will be broccoli pancake (which he USED to eat) and I guess some applesauce.
Mmmmm now I'm craving vegetable curry!
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So is the bedtime snack something he will always eat, because I can see how that could impact dinner.
Maybe offer the dinner he didn't eat as the bedtime snack, if he knows he gets something else later then why bother, esp if you offer something from his prefered list as the bedtime snack, I know if I knew I'd get food an hour later I wouldn't want to bother with eating as much of something I didn't really want to eat. With my boys it has always been "that's it if you are still hungry then I will cut you up an apple or have a banana or carrot sticks, but nothing else is on offer if dinner isn't eaten" But now they are older & with sport etc Dinner is more like 7pm a few times a week... the kitchen is "closed" once the dinner table has been cleared, so if they don't want what is on offer they wait for breakfast.
Thinking about it if he used to eat Broccoli pancakes, that would probably what I offered as the bedtime snack & then offer him the dinner that you are having with say 2 crackers & a few pistacios on the side (that you know he will eat) & if he complains I'd just do the "you know the rules, you can have more of a prefered food when you have eaten 4 different things" & just repeat that message"
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Karen, I agree with Kate. I think it is time to step it up a notch. I do think he has realised he can refuse dinner and then get something shortly after. I would reoffer dinner or something less preferred at bedtime.
I do think if you haven't seen any progress in terms of trying new foods then its time to push things a bit.
Is he 3 now?
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He'll be three at the beginning of June.
As expected he only had the applesauce. Steak, rice noodles and green beans were refused outright. The broccoli pancake shapes were touched but not tried. About to do bath and then offer bedtime snack - which yes has always been a SMALL portion of something I know he'll eat. So tonight I was planning to offer one breakfast cookie only (even though he'd prefer two). Do I still offer that AND the broccoli pancakes along with that? Only the broccoli pancakes and fruit? All of which I'm sure will be refused, leading to him going to bed REALLY hungry? He's always been the type to prefer to be starving hungry and screaming rather than eat something he doesn't want.
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I'd go with brocolli pancake and fruit. Sorry in bed and DH yapping to turn off my Phone but will be back tomorrow. At this age he wont be really hungry hun and I think he is one that is going to need to be hungry to try new things x
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Ok thanks. About to throw them in the bath and then will offer the broccoli pancakes and banana and strawberries... Sigh.
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WOW!!!!! After the bath DD wanted some cereal. DS requested some too and I calmly told him that since he didn't eat dinner he could have the broccoli pancake shapes and/or a banana. At first he said no but then when he saw DD eating her cereal he asked again then he ate all 4 (small) broccoli pancake shapes!!!!! Didn't want the banana but I figured since he ate the applesauce earlier and all the broccoli shapes now I let him have a bit of dry cereal too (but not a ton). We also gave him lots of high fives for trying!
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Yep it does work the simple rule of "well you didn't eat dinner"
Another thing is to have a tick off chart that shows the food groups & what needs to be eaten & so if they tick off all the processed carbs they can't have anymore until they tick off all the other boxes too. So for example it is expected in our house that DS1 has 5-6 serves of F &V a day & DS2 has 4-5... working towards the recommended 2 fruit & 5 veg by the time they are 10yo. So they have some stewed fruit with breakfast 1 fruit 1 veg at school & then 2-3 at dinner. On weekends they might ask for a carb food & I will say "after you have a piece of fruit, you haven't had one today"
Also think about the food he eats in a week, not a meal, he may go hungry a few nights, but no toddler will ever starve themselves... even if they don't eat for 3 days they will still be ok & he knows he is always going to get something he likes before bedtime there really is no motivation to eat anything he doesn't want to eat at dinner, the idea is to put them in the position that they see that the rules stick. These are the foods on offer & we can choose to eat or not eat. And there really is a huge difference from going hungry in the western world & really not eat
So tomorrow when he doesn't eat his dinner you offer it at the bedtime snack & say that the next day if his dinner doesn't get eaten at dinner time the left over dinner will be the ONLY snack he gets at bedtime, he won't get a breakfast cookie or cereal he will get his dinner because if he wasn't hungry enough to eat it then, then he really can't have been hungry & you aren't going to waste food. Certainly I know if I had dinner out & it wasn't to my likeing I'd pick at it & then eat some prefered food later... which is exactly what he is doing KWIM.
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I love the chart idea and have been toying with it for a while BUT I think he's too young yet. Maybe in a few more months?
I'm definitely not worried about him starving himself in terms of health. I just hate when he gets hungry and low blood sugar and turns crazed and mean! He takes after me that way LOL. But yea will just have to suck it up I guess. Tonight won't be an issue - we are all having whole wheat pasta (well gluten free pasta for me) with broccoli rabe and sundried tomatoes for me and DH, broccoli and mushrooms (chopped) for the kids.
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Karen I am sad to admit this but last night dd refused dinner so all she had before bed was a cup of milk. I'm glad he finally ate the broccoli shapes. I need to get over to whole foods to buy some for dd as that's the only place around here I can find some.
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OK we REALLY need to get our picky LOs together - especially since you are only like 40 minutes away!!! Playdate one day in the next week or two? Maybe over lunch LOL?!
BTW, we usually buy the broccoli shapes at Whole Foods but Kings sometimes has them too.
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We have a kings and it is closer then whole foods so I will look the next time I'm out. We can definitely do a play date over the next week or two. Dd's last day of school is Thursday but other then that we don't have anything planned till the middle of June lol.
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I'll PM you!
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Sigh. Had made chicken cutlets, roasted potatoes and roasted broccoli for dinner. DS' cutlets were the same but in nugget shape. I gave him two SMALL ones of those, 6 small potato wedges and two pieces of broccoli. He immediately at the chicken and wanted more but wouldn't touch the potatoes (not sure why) or the broccoli. He ended up eating nothing else the rest of the night. I re-offered choice of dinner or apple slices before bed but both were refused.
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What are these broccoli shapes? Sounds interesting!
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FWIW just so you can have hope, DS1 who at 2yo his vegetable content would have been potato (normally in the form of fries) & the veg content of spaghetti bolognaise... which at that age he ate about 3 times/week
Now at pushing 9yo he actually complains that I don't give him enough baked cauliflower, the other day I cut up 1/2 a cauliflower & he ate nearly all of it (about 2 cups of veg)
Because I was always a limited eater as a child I was very able to respect my children in that fact & work at it very slowly - which it has been it really took 6 years to get DS1 to eat enough of the foods to make life easy... still working on DS2 who is 7 tomorrow... if he is anything like DS1, the next 12 months will be the real turning point.
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Erin - these are the broccoli shapes - really like them and this brand overall! http://www.drpraegers.com/Broccoli-Littles-P557.aspx
Thanks Kate - hope your DS2 continues to improve and will hold out hope here!
After he ate NOTHING for snack or lunch today he had only applesauce and sweet potato fries (homemade and oven baked) for dinner. The other two items were not tried - turkey bacon and vegetable pancakes (homemade). Guess tonight will only re-offer those two items or fruit?
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Oh I've seen those! We've gotten the fish sticks before, they're good!
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After he ate NOTHING for snack or lunch today he had only applesauce and sweet potato fries (homemade and oven baked) for dinner. The other two items were not tried - turkey bacon and vegetable pancakes (homemade). Guess tonight will only re-offer those two items or fruit?
You could also offer something that you know he hasn't really tried, so say he refuses the dinner left overs, you could bargin with a "if you try some grated carrot you can have some..." & offer a liked, but not loved food, like a slice of bread, sort of start some negotiation going.
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I have tried that before Kate - to no avail but will try again. He doesn't seem open to "bribery" at all! However I'm thinking a bit of a bug is compounding things right now so probably don't have much of shot of things improving until we are all better (though I will keep trying!)
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Update... I've been stricter about meals/trying with a few successes! Still no fruit, though he claims to like it and will say yum but then won't try/eat any... But lately he's been refusing his homemade challah french toast which he brings to nursery school for lunch on Wednesdays (after always liking it well enough in the past). This week I told him when I picked him up and saw it untouched that all I had for lunch was that or a banana and that he wouldn't have any snack after his nap if he didn't eat lunch. He ended up eating almost 2/3 of the piece shortly thereafter!
Then last night for dinner we were all having falafel, roasted potatoes and roasted cauliflower. He only eats the potatoes, and even those aren't always a given. Anyway I served him the same plus some applesauce. He ate the applesauce and 3 of the small potato wedges. Then he wanted to be done but I reminded him that he wasn't going to get anything else later besides this same dinner or some fruit. A few minutes later he ate the last three little potato wedges but still wouldn't touch the cauliflower (I'd put two tiny pieces on his plate) or the falafel (his were shaped like two tiny meatballs). After some calm discussion and him understanding he wouldn't get cereal or anything without TRYING either the falafel OR the cauliflower, about half an hour later he decided to try one of the tiny falafel balls! He didn't like it much and spat out half of it after chewing for a minute but we were thrilled!
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He didn't like it much and spat out half of it after chewing for a minute but we were thrilled!
This is progress. Finn tried my smoothie the other day...he asked to watch me make it and I said 'only if you try it' LOL I'm such a mean so and so. So I put some on a spoon and he balked and then I said 'well you have to stick your finger in it and then lick your finger'...he did, he went 'blech!' and spat but at least he tried it.
It's such HARD work...you have way more patience for making variety than I do Karen.
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LOL Wendy - that's a good one. Yea Matthew now knows that his "juice" is really a splash of apple juice blended with lots of water and TONS of fresh and frozen fruit and usually avocado and sometimes spinach too. He got upset at first but now likes to help me make it and drinks it same as always.
It really is hard and time consuming but I have to keep trying it's just too important to me!
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OMG Karen, I have just read the first 2 pages of this thread & I can't believe how similar your DS's eating issues are to those we are having with my DS atm.
He is 21.5 months & for the last 10 months or so has been incredibly picky. It has gradually gotten worse & worse, to the point where he will eat cereal (breakfast isn't a problem), bread, fruit and some meats/fish (eg sausage, homemade meatballs, chicken nuggets, fishfingers etc. The biggest problem is with his tea - he literally eats meat, and NOTHING else. He is completely refusing pasta, rice, cous cous, any form of potatoes (although chips would never be refused but I don't want to serve them). He refuses ALL vegetables/ The worst bit is that he won't even TRY the foods, he just point blank refuses. We keep falling into the trap of making him what we KNOW he will eat, but its so limited & I don't feel its healthy enough. MIL has same problems at her house but at nursery, DS will eat meals eg chicken casserole, sausage, potatoes & veg. Am wondering if this is peer pressure rather than anything else? But it shows that he does at least LIKE these foods.
We're trying to make more effort to make some new/different meals for him, but he is still refusing to eat & most days is going hungry. He constantly demands dessert & spends much of the evening having tantrums b.c he is hungry & we won;t give dessert if he hasn't had dinner. For the last 2 nights we are have tried positive reinforcement by saying 'you CAN have dessert IF you eat your dinner' rather than our usual 'no you can't have dessert because you didn't eat dinner' and he has tantrumed & cried (tonight was 1.5hrs) before he eventually said 'Ollie eat chicken & rice' & I reheated it & he ate. We were quite shocked he did it & we plan to follow through & keep saying the same thing, but I am still feeling a bit unsure if this is the right approach b/c I don't want to 'force' him to eat & I'm not sure if this still counts as bribing him?!
He is also MPI & it was interesting to read Mashi's comments that it seems to be common that picky eaters are often MPI. I have been at a complete loss as to what to do with him, & I'm so glad I found this thread because there seems to be some really great suggestions here. Thankyou!! I will be spending some time reading through in more detail but wondered Mashi if you would mind popping on & having a read of my thread too, as I'm not sure how much I can apply some of the tactics here with my DS being that bit younger.
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=231657.new#new
Thanks.x
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Woohoo Karen! In this house hold trying and spitting out would be counted as a HUGE accomplishment lol
and I do agree with Wendy you have way more patience for making the variety then I do. I try to make as much as I can but I get so frustrated when she does not eat it.
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Lol yeah. It's like 'just eat what I make dammit!'...but they don't lol.
Finn is becoming just like his dad, wanting only sandwiches all the time :(. Jam sandwich jam sandwich JAM SANDWICH! Ugh. I do give him sandwiches on flax bread because it's the only thing that keeps him regular (BM). He looks suspiciously at all food put in front of him these day, usually with a wrinkled nose...
Tonight I am taking home build your own wraps with spinach and salsa and some cheese with chicken breast slices. Bet he says 'I don't like chicken'
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I snuck squash into dd's grill cheese sandwitch lol. She is eating it and with the cucumber I got her to eat for lunch that equals 2 veggies for the day :) So that equals a semi good day. DD is into sandwiches either grill cheese or Peanut butter and jelly. It is ALOT of what she eats unfortunately.
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Karen that is great. Sounds like he is really getting the idea that the options are more limited.
Clairebear79, one thing a friend of mine did as she didn't want dessert to be seen as too special & meat & veg as the bad part to the child was give a small 'taster' of the dessert & when other food on the plate was eaten then "2nd's" were allowed of the preferred food. That is pretty much what I do with the boys although it is for meat with DS1 he would eat a cow if he had a chance & so had to balance his plate a bit more. So almost offer a mouth full of the dessert & say "the rest is second helpings when you eat the rest of your food"
I thought I'd share this even though it relates to a 7yo. My friend has 2 DD's 8 & 7yo's. They both want an iPod touch & the Mum is prepared to help them save for one as the 8yo is needing to do some extra work for school & the 7yo is a very fussy limited eater, so the Mum has said that for every meal that she eats all of the food on the plate she gets 50c & if she tries a new food or asks for seconds of a newish food she gets another 50c... in one week she earnt $5. The 8yo gets her money based on the points she earns from an online learning program. I had to laugh because the Mum has the $ sitting there to buy them as she sold a whole heap of their toys, DVD's old bikes etc & is using that money to "bribe them" Double win for my friend LOL
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That's great Karen! :)
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Yay, Karen!! That is HUGE! :D Keep fightin' the good fight. We've also been working on the holdout for something else later technique. It works great, even if I do have to repeat myself 100 times that he may not have fruit snacks (or cookie or whatever treat he thinks he gets for every meal) in lieu of dinner ::) We have discovered that Aaron will eat pickles, balsamic vinegar, and hummus. Who knew...
:-*
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That's great Sara that you found some new things he will eat. Dd ate raw zucchini slices as I was I was slicing them to cook yesterday. I was suprised and very happy :)
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Wow! That is great progress Karen xx
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Thanks guys! Still zero fresh fruit or veggies. Though he does now completely know that his "juice" is really a splash of apple juice blended with LOTS of water, frozen berries, banana, avocado and sometimes spinach. He was upset at first but now loves to help me make it and drink it. Plus he knows his pizza is vegetable pizza and is ok with that. We are having veggie pancakes later this week and hopefully I can get him to finally try them - he's always totally refused in the past, though he LOVES regular pancakes.
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Karen I am in awe of your commitment and determination...you rock! ;)
Vicki.x.
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Thanks guys! So-so going here. Last night the kids (DD, DS and her friend) had chicken nuggets, broccoli shapes and applesauce (DH and I were eating turkey chili after they went to bed). He ate the applesauce and refused the rest. I reminded him many times that he wouldn't get anything else unless he tried the rest. Literally seconds before bed he decided he wanted to eat and ate all three broccoli shapes but still wouldn't try the chicken (it was different than usual - I usually make them myself but these were store-bought from the kosher butcher because's DD's friend only eats kosher meat).
Then tonight we all had vegetable pancakes (I make them - GREAT recipe), roasted potatoes, applesauce and challah. He again had the applesauce, then ate the potatoes (I only gave him small four potato wedges instead of the usual 6+). He asked for more potatoes but I told him not unless he TRIED either the vegetable pancakes OR the challah but he refused. He asked for cereal when DD had some but I reminded him that unless he tried one of those two items he couldn't have anything but a banana but again he refused and went to bed. Sigh.
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Hey, he ate the broccoli shapes (what are those, btw?)! Would he have eaten the chicken nuggets if they were what you normally served?
I think it's great that you're keeping the "rule" consistent. It feels like you're banging your head against the wall, huh? Having to keep reminding them? But eventually, he'll try something, like it, and will realize that some new foods ARE really yummy (erm, sometimes, but that's life ;)). We're still trying to keep with the consistency, too. It's hard not to backtrack and give them anything when you know they'll be hungry...but I think you're doing the right thing. :-*
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Thanks Sara. Tonight is pasta (albeit whole wheat with a cauliflower/garlic/anchovy sauce) so he'll happily eat that but I'm thinking that's OK, good even to have a few nights a week where it's not a battle? Plus DH and I LOVE this dish!
These are the broccoli shapes. Unlike the vegetable pancakes, which I make from scratch, these are store bought and potato based. http://www.drpraegers.com/Broccoli-Littles-P557.aspx
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Thanks Sara. Tonight is pasta (albeit whole wheat with a cauliflower/garlic/anchovy sauce) so he'll happily eat that but I'm thinking that's OK, good even to have a few nights a week where it's not a battle? Plus DH and I LOVE this dish!
That sounds yummy, too! You should definitely build it into rotation. I think we (meaning parents of picky children) should plan meals on a rotating basis that are someone's favorite. We have a 3-4 meals a week that I know Aaron will eat and then the rest are "new" recipes for him. Most of the time, he won't eat it, but DH and I are part of the family, too, and the "new" recipes are things that we enjoy. In addition to navigating the whole picky eater issue, I think it's important for them to learn that we do what other family members want to do, too. Getting across the idea of what it means to be part of a family. Each member should feel appreciated, albeit in this small way.
Re: the broccoli shapes, do they taste strongly of broccoli?
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Thanks Sara. Tonight is pasta (albeit whole wheat with a cauliflower/garlic/anchovy sauce) so he'll happily eat that but I'm thinking that's OK, good even to have a few nights a week where it's not a battle? Plus DH and I LOVE this dish!
When I menu plan I plan on at least 50% of the meals being eaten by Ds2, with very liittle issue, it just makes it easier all around.
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Oh it's already in the rotation Sara! Well sort. Twice a week (usually) we have a pasta dish - either that one or pasta primavera or pasta with spinach and sundried tomatoes or pasta with meat sauce. He will eat all of those happily (well not the spinach and the veggies have to be chopped). I even show him the cauliflower (there is a LOT of it) and he says yum but of course he won't eat it unless tiny pieces and mixed in.
Tomorrow night is blackened tilapia, homemade fries and roasted broccoli. None of which he will eat. But serving him homemade fish sticks, sweet potato fries (which he loves) and the broccoli and applesauce. Guessing he'll eat the fries and the applesauce, hoping he tries a fish stick (sometimes he deigns to).
Sara, I don't think they taste too strongly of broccoli. I really like them myself though I like the full sized broccoli patties/pancakes (same ingredients) better personally. Yum!
As always thanks Kate!
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We always plan things in the girls will eat, dinner does need to be easy sometimes! :)
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He ate some banana just now!!!!! It was close to dinner time and he was hungry and I told him I only had bananas, apples or blueberries. At first he refused all three. Mind you he used to be a fruit FANATIC until 1.5, then slowly dropped fruits down to till by 2 it was only apples and strawberries and by 2.25 NONE. He told me he would try some banana and I got one and sat on the floor with him and peeled it and held it toward him and he took a small bite! I gave him high fives and all and took a bite too. Asked him if he'd take one more and at first he said no but I said I'd fly him around the house like Superman (his favorite) if he'd try one more bite and we talked about how yummy it is. Then he took one more BIG bite, almost gagged but then finished the bite and we cheered and flew around the house as promised and talked a bit more about how yummy it was and how eating bananas helps makes you big and strong like Superman!
If only we can build on this...
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Way to go Mattey!! :D
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Baby steps, remember even if you don't have another new food for a month you are still making progress!
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Woohoo!!
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I was shocked! He's said he'll try before and then I peel the banana and he never wants it. This time I went into it expecting the same and thinking (in my head) that at least we were home and i could freeze it in chunks for use in smoothies and not waste it. Then he ate it! I was surprised at the near gagging since he used to eat them like crazy, but...
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FAB!!!!
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Woohoo! That's great!
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Sadly nothing else new, nor any more bites of banana (or other fruit for that matter) since this last posting. Such a stubborn little man...
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I'm sorry Karen. I know how frustrating it is. Last night we finally got dd to try pasta for the first time in 3 years! Its a long hard road with these picky eaters
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Did she like the pasta?
In big news tonight DS tried and liked and ate almost all of a turkey sandwich! Real roasted sliced turkey breast, no nitrates, with a bit of homemade mayo on toasted sourdough bread (just like his sister). We were shocked as he's only ever wanted to eat grilled cheese for sandwiches before!
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Thats great news!! Its all small steps xx
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Just wanted to share this blog I've been reading about teaching kids to eat a variety of foods: http://www.itsnotaboutnutrition.com/top-ten/
I don't agree with 100%, but she has some interesting advice/strategies.
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That's awesome Karen! Well I think like would be too big of a word. She ate it but the next time I served it she refused. Such is life I guess.
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less than one month from the last step... In my book that is totally "on target" & moving forward. :)
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Thanks Kate! I am/was quite pleased (and surprised). I wasn't cooking tonight as DD was up all night and home sick today with strep and when I offered her a turkey sandwich he said he wanted one. I called his bluff and served it with some applesauce and a broccoli pancake and he ate the whole sandwich cut into pieces (minus the crust), all the applesauce and left the pancake.
Though does the banana still count since he only did it that once and won't touch it again/since?
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Trying is the main thing & then getting them to eat it regularly.
I know it is a long way from 3yo to almost 9yo, but when I think about my Ds1 & how little he ate at 3yo & the fact that Ds2 had a carrot stick left on his plate the other night & DS1 picked it up, dipped it in gravy & ate it... I offered carrots for 2 years straight without them being eaten, then every 6months or so we'd try to see if "they agreed with his more mature tastebuds" & finally about 1 month ago carrots came on the radar... so yes even if not being touched since I'd count it as a success.
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That is so great Kate!
Would just love to even get him eating ONE fruit and/or veggie regularly (other than sweet potato fries and the fruit blended into his "juice") and him using a fork and spoon for more than 1-2 items himself!
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Karen & that same child took a brussel sprout off his Dad's plate because DH had 3 & DS1 & I only had 2 each & DS1 ate all 3, leaving a bite of meat on his "meat, potatoe & 3 veg dinner" rather than asking for seconds of meat & leaving all the veg like he did 2 years ago... been a long journey, but to have an almost 9yo eating brussel sprouts tells me it was well & truely worth it to never force the issue. He also stole a piece of baked cauliflower from my plate LOL.
Anyway it will get there... yes about 100 times slower than we as parents would like, but it will happen - at their pace if you give it a chance.
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WTG to your DS1 Kate!!!
He did eat ice cream yesterday at camp. Not that it's healthy but at least a different texture and he fed himself it with a spoon. Since he has a dairy allergy it was Tofutti (soy ice cream) - at first he hesitated but apparently then dug in and I have a picture to prove it!
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Karen, that is a wonderful update!! I'm so, so proud of you and him :D
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Hadn't had anything new to report - still no fresh fruit or veg (luckily get tons in his smoothies plus lots of veg in his meatballs, pasta sauce, etc). But tonight he tried two tiny bites of lemon chicken (similar to chicken francaise)! He was totally refusing at first and only ate a few roasted potatoes but refused the chicken and cauliflower. An hour later he was hungry and whiny and I was calmly reminding him that he had to try one bite before he could have more potatoes or anything else. He kept refusing but then spotted his favorite whole wheat crackers in the pantry. He finally agreed to try one bite, decided he liked it, had one more tiny bite and then happily ate his crackers!!! We were psyched - it's the first chicken he's had OTHER than nuggets since he was like 18 months old!!!
I guess I should get around to updating the title of this thread since he's now well over 3 years old!!
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H Hun,
That's a great step forward :D
Just a thought but have you ever tried making up special inviting names for vegetables. Like for example I call 'Butternut Squash' sunshine mash. I also cooked a load of vegetables for Sam and we made pictures out of them. Broccoli for trees etc LOL. I saw it on TV and it helps LO's to 'befriend' veg and see them as fun things. Not saying it will make an immediate difference but if their is a psychological barrier building up it will help to break it down. Of course with fruit too your pictures could be second to non ;).
Sam had months of terribly fussy eating. Now the vegetables are the first thing he eats off his plate, so hang in there, nothing is forever ;) I just kept putting them on his plate and throwing them in the bin until we had success. Quite a lot of the things he eats now he asked for whilst I was cooking. Like raw carrots, when he saw me munching on them.
Good Luck :)
x.
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I've tried with the cute names, etc - we used to do that when DD was little. And he finds it funny but still won't eat them! He'll happily scarf down loads of chopped broccoli, mushroom, etc in his pasta sauce (that he can see and know is there) but not on his own. So odd.
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Still here with you. We have resorted to a bridery sort of thing. Yesterday she ate real chicken (that dh and I ate not nuggets) peas and carrots and she tried some smashed potatoes all for bites of bananas. So it went bite of chicken bite of banana, bite of peas and carrots- bite of banana. Our other bribe is calling grandma so she can tell dd how proud she is of her. Either way meals have become a test of endurance and stamina. I spoke with our ped @ our 3yr visit and he was like there is no right or wrong answer as long as its not a fight.
I think we just have to keep going and hopefully before they hit college they will be eating something more then chicken nuggets :)
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He'll happily scarf down loads of chopped broccoli, mushroom, etc in his pasta sauce (that he can see and know is there)
Well that's great, I though he had zero vegetable tolerance LOL.
x.
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Didn't work tonight though. We were having uncured turkey bacon, homemade oven baked fries and vegetable pancakes. He has NEVER tried the vegetable pancakes and I've made them at least 10 times now. And he LOVES regular silver dollar pancakes and these taste quite mild and good (DH, DD and I love them). I'm pretty sure if he tried them he'd like them. All day he was saying "I love vegetable pancakes" and "I will try them" but of course he did not. He ate his turkey bacon and his fries (and I only have him a few of them), asked for more of each and I told him only if he tried the vegetable pancakes. He refused, refused again later and that was it for the night.
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Oh well. :(
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Small successes.
http://genetics.thetech.org/online-exhibits/are-you-super-taster
Unsurprisingly for me, myself and both boys came up with 'super tasters' & to me that explains a lot about why the fear to taste new things is so strong.
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The thing is, I don't think he is a super taster. He dislikes bland foods and prefers stronger flavors. It seems all about texture and just the newness to him. He keeps saying "is it soft" and "can we do it really really slowly" when asked to try new things. Guessing more sensory with him (he also hates long noises, getting his hair washed/water in his eyes and having his hair cut - cause he hates the hair falling on him).
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Hi ladies.
I am so sorry to hijack this thread but I've read the first few pages and found them SO helpful!
Wondering if any of you have a chance could you read my thread? http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=241627.msg2568816#msg2568816
I'm trying to do what mashi suggested on the first page ;) x
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How have things been lately, Karen? Your last post sounds so much like Aaron!! He still gags on things with a certain texture.
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Hi Sara! Sorry I've been MIA - things have just been so busy lately. Things are about the same. Though last night he did try two bites of a Brazilian coconut chicken. He gagged a bit but ate the two tiny bites. Still no fresh fruits and still won't try the veggie pancakes though (which we are having again Friday) but baby steps!
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He did finally try the veggie pancakes this past Friday! At most of a small silver-dollar sized one! Wouldn't try the fish burgers this Tuesday night though. Hoping small successes continue...
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Yay! :)
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YAY for veggie pancakes!
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And haven't you been offering them like - forever?! Way to go!
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Thanks guys! Yes, he must have refused them 10-15 times before this. I only gave him one piece of turkey bacon at first (instead of his usual two) and told him he couldn't have the other piece unless he tried a pancake. He was hungry and finally did! After one of his favorites last night (whole wheat pasta with garlic/cauliflower/anchovy/tomato sauce) tonight is back to one he doesn't love. Well he DOES love the homemade oven sweet potato fries but not the lemon chicken or the roasted brussel sprouts. Hoping for 2-3 tiny bites of chicken even.
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Fingers crossed. I'd love some lemon chicken....yum yum.
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It's one of our favorite dishes here!
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Total no go last night. I put maybe 4 tiny pieces of lemon chicken on his plate, 5 small sweet potato fries (he usually has 10-12) and two brussel sprouts (well really one roasted one cut in half). He inhaled the fries and refused to try anything else, not even for more fries. He went to bed hungry, woke early (6:10 instead of about 7) and told me his belly hurt. I explained that it was because he hadn't eaten dinner and was hungry.
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More progress here! Tuesday night I made a crockpot Mongolian beef. He tried two teensy bites of it and didn't gag! He still chose not to eat more of it but he did try! Same with last night - it was pasta night (his favorite) with LOTS of chopped up veggies. He inhaled it but also tried the GF/DF cornbread I made. Again only two TINY bites but he did it. May it continue and grow!
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What does a crockpot Mongolian beef look like? I might try that.
I hope these boys turn themselves around Karen. It's too stressful! Yay for Matty and trying new things!!!
FWIW Finn is actually open to trying almost everything and he's allowed to spit it out if he doesn't like it. But he never likes anything and simply won't eat more of it. That's the annoying part lol Make a big meal for two bites that get spit out on the plate *sigh*
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It's way yummy. I use this recipe: http://whatsfordinner-momwhatsfordinner.blogspot.com/2012/03/crockpot-mongolian-beef.html. I usually double it and freeze leftovers.
Matthew knows he can spit out stuff too but so far other than when he tried the falafel a few weeks ago he hasn't taken advantage of that - but he still only takes the two bites.... But for now, considering where we came from, I'll take it.
Of course he had no problem trying (and eating most of) the cupcake they made at school yesterday!
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Will have to try that - DS1 would like that & I need a few new crockpot recipies... doubt DS2 will eat it..
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Yum! Did you sub the corn starch?
If he's trying it, it's progression! Yes the cupcakes, I think Finn would live on them lol
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I used potato starch instead but you could totally use almond meal or coconut flour too.
Kate, it's really tasty! DH, DD and I really enjoy it.
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Finn thinks all meat is chicken and would probably try it. He'd eat the rice lol
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Excellent! :)
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I do now have Matthew also eating 4-6 tiny bites of chicken on a fork as long as it's thin and cooked soft. So like lemon chicken or chicken marsala, etc. So pleased. Now I'd love to get even ONE fresh fruit back!!!
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So like lemon chicken or chicken marsala, etc. So pleased.
Wow! Such great progress! I wish we could report the same. Well done, Matthew!
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Thats great!!!!
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That is fantastic!! ;D
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We went out for Chinese food tonight (typical thing for Jews on X-mas eve). As usual I brought DS along some homemade chicken noodle soup in his thermos - but instead of only eating that and his cashew nuts tonight, he also ate a fair amount of sliced white meat chicken (we had gotten chicken and broccoli in white sauce) and white rice too! And loved both! Course I had promised him some chocolate coins for dessert but still...
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We are really struggling he won't even let me put anything on his plate :(
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Yeah for chicken and rice and gold coins! Mukta we have the problem here a lot. Last night (christmas eve) she ate pasta with butter and then we feed her breaded chicken with ketchup as she danced around. Its not the norm for us but with the holiday we were just happy she ate the chicken :)